Title: Working for Torchwood
By: Jessie Blackwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters, etc. etc. etc. no infringement of copyright intended, etc, etc. just playing with them, like everyone else here.
Summary: Jack shows Ianto part of the Hub he hasn't seen before and Ianto decides to spruce it up. This is just a little bit of fun with the boys.

The Bath…

“Working for Torchwood is a Damoclean Sword. It is an exciting, adrenaline-fuelled, roller-coaster ride of events, throwing you bodily into combat or confusion, equally able to spiral you to the crazy heights of triumph or plunge you to the hopeless depths of despair. It is an occupation of extremes, requiring both mental and physical agility (not to mention copious amounts of both stamina and resilience) above and beyond the norm. It takes pleasure in knocking the stuffing out of you one moment and boosting your ego the next. You never know from one day to the next what you’ll be doing or where you’ll be doing it. You don’t know who you’ll meet or who you’ll be working with, who will die or who will join. Its an exercise in adaptability and variety second to non.

The people who qualify to join the elite ranks of the Torchwood Institute (to give it its real title) often have no clue what’s in store for them, despite qualities that make them eminently capable for the role. They possess a sharp intellect, an immense creativity, lightning wit or a devious will. They show traits some would give their eye teeth for as well as others that you wouldn’t wish to touch with somebody else’s barge pole, never mind your own. They display ruthlessness and compassion in equal measure, they are decisive, attentive to detail and accurate in their recording….”

“Bollocks!” Owen said, displaying his usual bluntness.

“Its not Bollocks, Owen” Jack defended “It’s the 1950s, that was how people wrote stuff then. It was all a bit ‘Dan Dare’.”

“ ‘People’ being ‘you’ you mean?” Ianto suggested, looking over Jack's shoulder at the box of old paperwork he had dragged up from the archival depths.

“What? You’re not telling me that this piece of elaborate bullshit is from the pen of our own Jack Harkness?”

Ianto nodded “Credits him just inside the front cover actually.” he said, noting that Jack was frowning his usual defensive frown. To Ianto that didn’t necessarily mean anything good, especially if he was angling to stay overnight.

“Bloody Hell, the Barbara Cartland of Torchwood” Owen was crowing.

“I think you’ll find he was a little more creative than that” Ianto said dryly, coming to the defence. “This is an orientation booklet.” he said “Why don’t we have anything like this now?”

“Because I’m your orientation booklet.” Jack said “Not enough of you to need one each.”

“Because we can share you?” Ianto grinned at how it sounded “Like kids with not enough books at school, do we have to share you between us?”

“Well, I did offer…” he grinned.

“Not to me you didn’t and you bloody well know what my reply would have been!” Owen said and scooted off. Jack and Ianto shared a laugh at his precipitous departure.

“So, what else did you find?” Ianto asked and Jack shrugged.

“Nothing much. So much of this is rubbish now.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Ianto said, picking up a Mickey Mouse badge “you might be able to flog it on ebay.”

“That was Bunty’s” he said thoughtfully, his fingers caressing it carefully “Bunty Summerfield. One of your predecessors actually, one of the archivists. She went to Los Angeles one summer. Thought it was brilliant, came back telling us all these tales. She was dead by the following winter, killed by an explosion. An alien devise went bonkers and blew itself up in the car she was driving. She was bringing it back to the Hub, heard this whining and decided to hold off coming in. Five minutes later, it went up. If it wasn’t for her, the Hub would have gone up.”

“Can you remember everything like that?”

He sighed heavily “Never forget. Memory is infinite it seems.”

“Might have to call you Nelly then.”

“Nelly?”

“Nelly the elephant? Elephants never forget?”

“You are sick, Ianto, sick” Jack said, but there was a smile on his lips.

“So where did you find this stuff anyway?”

“Down the next level, further down than the showers. There’s an old bathroom, its packed with stuff.”

“Not a secret you’ve ever let me in on. I thought I was supposed to archive everything?”

“Come and see then.”

There was indeed an old bathroom, tiled white with a blue line running at dado rail height all round the room. Three large enamel baths, each one supported on four cast iron ball and claw feet, sat along one wall, brass fittings tarnished a little, limescale crusted on the spouts. On the opposite wall were sinks, with mirrors above. The lamps were electric, wide, dish-shaped metal shades painted an unappetising grey. Optimistic spiders webs hung in drapes across the corners of the room and from the lamp shades. Boxes lined the walls, some with adverts for product brands that hadn’t been in circulation for decades.

“Maybe we should have a museum, you know, Torchwood in history…” Ianto grinned.

“Not much of a target audience though” Jack said “Visit Cardiff and see the secret museum! If you can find it, you can visit.”

“I think this place needs clearing out” Ianto said speculatively.

“Well, if you can organise this any better, feel free.”

It took him a month of organising, filing, throwing out the rubbish and cleaning but he got there eventually. Ianto stood back from the room and gazed at it with a critical eye. The tiles were clean, washed and re-grouted. The baths were amazingly undamaged, polished and cleaned of lime scale, as were the taps. The sinks were similarly dealt with. Ianto had even had a plumber in (even though he had needed to retcon him later) to overhaul the system. There was a new boiler, the water pressure was adjusted, some pipes replaced but largely, it hadn’t been a massive job. The lamps had been replaced though, the electrics rewired (Ianto had managed to get a UNIT electrician in for that one though) and a new chrome ‘ladder’ style towel rail fitted. Finally, he had added a bench seat and shelving, a stock of nice large fluffy towels and another surprise he decided to reveal to Jack before showing anyone else.

“Sir”

“Ianto? What’s the problem?”

“How are you feeling tonight?”

Jack glanced at him “Why? You looking for fun?”

“Maybe…So, how are you?”

“Tired, aching and I worked up a sweat chasing that damned weevil, why? I was thinking of going for a shower.” Jack smirked “You figure on joining me?”

“I have a better idea Sir, if you’d care to follow me?”

Curious, Jack got up and followed. The others were gathering their belongings and heading home and Ianto waited with a cheery ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you tomorrow’ before walking off as fast as the cog door rolled shut.

Jack followed him down to the lower level beyond the showers, realising he was heading for the old bathroom.

“Ianto, what gives? Where we going?”

“Here, Sir.” He switched on the lights and stood back as the air conditioning throbbed gently into life in the background “What do you think? Fancy a massage followed by a long luxurious soak?”

Jack's eyebrows rose, taking in the freshly cleaned baths, the towels, and the massage couch in the centre, Ianto’s surprise.

“What the hell…? Are you aiming to open a spa?”

“Don’t you like it? I just figured that we need more luxuries in our lives, eases the working environment, you know? Makes the job easier…”

“Like it, I love it. I just…Ianto, you’re a marvel. Tried it out yet?”

“No, I was waiting for you to see it. Thought you’d like to try it first.”

Jack walked over and turned a tap, watching the hot water gush into the bath. “Would I ever” he said “but you know you’ll never get Gwen and Tosh out of here.”

“We’ll have to make a rota.” Ianto grinned and handed Jack a towel. “Well Sir, if you’d care to disrobe and climb on the bed, I’ll see what I can do to relax you a little.”

The bath was sheer pleasure, relaxing in the steaming water, the bath big enough to accommodate them both. Ianto had brought a bottle of champagne and two glasses and he sipped it as he relaxed back against Jack's chest amid the foam of a very decadent bubble bath. Jack drained his glass and reached for the bottle to pour himself another.

“This beats a shower any day.” he murmured against Ianto’s ear “Thank you for this.”

“Pleasure Sir” Ianto murmured, wallowing in the heat of the water and of Jack's chest behind him.

“We could all of us have a bath party.” Jack said, cheekily “I’m sure the girls wouldn’t mind sharing and Owen could have one to himself, if there was booze involved…cocktails in the bath!” he laughed.

“You’d have to invent some appropriate ones.”

“How about the ‘Ianto Jones’ ~ vodka, coffee liqueur, cream and…brandy” Jack said “How’s that?”

Ianto laughed “The ‘Owen Harper’ would have to be a bit abrasive with a bitter after taste. Tomato juice, angostura bitters and a shot of whisky?”

“In your face and unashamed” Jack chuckled. “With fight. Say, what would you call a shot of tequila, vodka, blue curacao and rum?”

“A weevil maybe” Ianto said “Sounds disgusting.”

“A weevil it is then. We ought to have a cocktail party, you know, dress up, let our hair down.”

“Look at you, one bath and you’re full of it” Ianto said.

“Full of what?”

“Bullshit” Ianto said grinning “You know, enthusiasm, ideas, mad ideas.”

“I’m fun to be with!” Jack defended.

“Oh yes, Sir, of that I’m certain…”

“And Ianto?”

“Yes Sir?”

“So are you…”

Next story - Party Time.