Title: Waking Hours
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3
Prompt: 4, Awake
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.***
Ianto rolled over onto his side, blinking and waiting for his sight to adjust to the near-darkness of his bedroom. It was different here than it was on the Tardis, with the slight silvery glow permeating the ship that always lit even the deepest gloom.
There was a moon out tonight, but it wasn't shining into the bedroom window of his flat yet. He'd have to lie here and wait for that light to make it into the window, to illuminate the delicate features of the man sleeping next to him.
He loved being able to do this; there weren't many times when he'd been able to watch the Doctor at rest. The Time Lord always seemed to be in perpetual motion, always moving, busy with doing something, never completely still.
That was one of the things he loved about this man, Ianto told himself, smiling at the thought. HIs boundless energy, the way that he always seemed to throw himself full-tilt into anything that took his fancy, the way he looked at so many things with a childlike wonder.
He hadn't known many humans who could do that, much less a man who was over 900 years old and had seen nearly everything that the universe had to offer.
How could one man have captured his heart and soul in the way that the Doctor had? He'd thought Jack had managed to do that, but what he'd felt for Jack was nothing but a blip on his emotinal radar compared to his feelings for the Doctor.
He'd never thought that he had that kind of emotion in him, really. He'd loved Jack, and he'd loved Lisa -- but they hadn't been the kind of love that he would die for, the kind of love that permeated his entire being and made him a part of the other person.
But with the Doctor, he'd discovered a side of himself that had almost shocked him. He'd found that he was a deeply passionate man, a man who would lay down his life for the person who was the other half of his soul.
Of course, he couldn't be everything that the Doctor needed, he told himself sadly, closing his eyes and wishing that he could keep that disturbing thought from crowding into his mind. He was human. He wouldn't be here forever.
That was what he wished he could do more than anything -- be there for the rest of the Doctor's life, keep him safe, be the person who could give him the forever and the stability that the TIme Lord had had always craved. But that wasn't in the cards for them. It never had been.
Did that mean that it was a tragedy in the Time Lord's life for the Doctor to have fallen in love with him, to have chosen Ianto as his mate? Could he have found someone better, someone who could give him the forever that he so desperately needed?
The very thought chilled Ianto to the bone, sending a shiver of apprehension through him. No, he thought to himself, the word fierce and stern in his mind. It wasn't a tragedy. It was the best thing that had ever happened to either of them.
He would never look at his love for the Doctor as being anything less than wonderful, and he was sure that the Time Lord felt the same. They'd been lucky to find each other, and they both knew it, knew that their relationship was something rare and special.
Even if they couldn't be together forever, they had each other now, Ianto reasoned, trying to calm his troubled mind. And they still had a lot of time ahead of them, time that they would use to make each other happy and that they would treasure.
Ianto slipped one hand under his pillow, sighing as he did so. He needed to think of happier things, but somehow, his mind always circled back around to thoughts of his own mortality, wondering what would become of the Doctor when he was gone.
The Time Lord would survive without him, he was sure of that. He'd lost people in the past, and he'd always continued on, even if he was more broken than he'd been before. But this was different; the Doctor had never lost a soul mate before.
He'd already extracted the Doctor's promise that he wouldn't do away with himself. Ianto didn't want that; even if he couldn't be there with the Doctor in body, he'd be there in spirit, and he couldn't deal with the thought that his love would cease to exist before he was meant to end.
He trusted the Doctor to keep that promise; the Time Lord wouldn't break a vow easily, especially not one that he'd made to his beloved.
Would he awaken if he somehow sensed what his lover was thinking? Ianto kept his eyes on the slumbering Time Lord's face, but he showed no signs of waking up. He slept on, a small smile curving his lips, looking happy and peaceful.
Ianto couldn't help but smile as he studied that face, the beautiful face that had captured his heart from the first moment he'd seen the Doctor. He'd only fallen more in love with that face -- and with the man behind it -- each day that they'd been together.
He had to restrain himself from reaching out a hand to touch the Doctor's face; his fingers itched to stroke back the few errant strands of hair that had fallen across the other man's cheek. But he didn't; he merely lay there and watched his lover sleep.
He'd never done this with anyone else he'd been with; certainly not Jack, who would awaken at the mere thought of anyone looking at him. The Doctor had been like that when they'd first met; it was as though he couldn't sleep deeply for fear that someone would sneak up on him.
The Time Lord had gradually learned to relax and sleep soundly when he was with Ianto -- another proof of the deep trust that existed between them. Ianto felt gratified that their bond was so strong that the Doctor felt he could let his guard down even in sleep.
If only he could always be there to protect the Time Lord, to make him feel that he was safe enough to completely relax and lose himself. Ianto wanted to sigh in frustration; the troubling thoughts were coming back again, even though he'd tried to keep them away.
His own mortaltiy had been something that he'd thought about much more since he met the Doctor; he'd always known since he began working with Torchwood that what he did was dangerous, but he'd accepted that.
Maybe it had been easier for him to do that in the past, when he didn't feel that he had much to live for. It had been different when he'd first joined Torchwood, when he'd wanted to use the place to save Lisa. He'd had a goal in mind then.
But after that .... yes, he'd loved Jack, and been happy with him, but there had been an empty space inside of him, a gaping void that his relationship with the immortal hadn't filled. There had always been something missing, even though he'd never wanted to admit it then.
Now, he had so much more to live for; he had the love of his life, a man who he'd never dreamed existed, much less who would belong to him in every way. Suddenly, his life span seemed all too short, much more so than it ever had before.
If only there was some way that he could always be there for the Time Lord, never leave him, give him what he most needed -- a lover who would be with him forever.
The moonlight had shifted into the bedroom window, falling full onto the Doctor's sleeping face; Ianto caught his breath, finally reaching out to cup the other man's cheek, his fingers stroking lightly over that soft skin.
The Doctor still didn't wake; he slept on, the smile on his face telling Ianto that he, at least, was untroubled for the moment. Whatever he was dreaming of, it was something that apparently chased away all of the cares of his waking hours.
Ianto moved closer to the Time Lord, gathering the other man into his arms and closing his eyes. Maybe, if he was lucky, some of the serenity that the Doctor seemed to have at the moment would communicate itself to him, and he'd be able to sleep peacefully along with his love.***
- Main Torchwood slash page
- New stories page
- Jack/Ianto stories
- Ianto/Owen stories
- Other pairings stories - ie threesomes
- F/F stories
- Gen stories
- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)