Title: Walk Out To Winter
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 3, letter100
Prompt: 40, Snow
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

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Dear Doctor,

It's so hard for me to believe that this time of year has come around again. I've always liked winter -- mostly because Christmas is my favourite holiday, but also because I feel more comfortable in colder weather than I do when it's warm.

That might be a bit strange, considering that Cardiff has the tendency to be extremely cold in the winter, and that I never got much in the way of loving warmth from my family to keep me feeling less cold. But that's never really seemed to matter to me.

I suppose there's something about the impersonal feel of the colder weather that's always appealed to me. Now, that can be laid directly at the feet of my family, I'm sure. But that's something to talk about with a psychiatrist, not my lover.

Not that I'd ever go to a a psych specialist. I don't believe that I need to. Besides, after all I've done and seen with both you and Torchwood -- they would think I was barmy.

That's something I don't need. There are times when I've wondered if some of the things I've seen weren't just hallucinations, or wild imaginings that I made up in my head. Though since the other members of Torchwood have seen them too, that theory certainly doesn't wash.

I've often wondered what the winters were like for you on Gallifrey. Did you have snow and ice and cold, the same way that I did in Cardiff? Is that yet another thing that can strengthen our bond, the fact that we lived in the same sort of place?

I always have questions to ask you about Gallifrey, about your childhood .... so many things that I want to know, that I wonder about. But it never seems to be quite the right time, and I don't want you to feel that I'm prying into your past.

Yes, I know that you'll say I have a right to know those kinds of things. I'm your soul mate, the man you intend to spend your life with, and naturally I should want to know about your past, your childhood, your life on your home planet long before I met you.

There are so many things I want to ask you, when I feel that the time is right and you're ready to tell me about what your life was like so long ago. Of course, I'm ready to tell you anything that you'd want to know about me, too.

I have so many mental pictures of what you must have been like when you were younger; I can't get those thoughts out of my mind.

The one that sticks with me the most if a mental image of you playing in the snow when you were a child; I don't know why, but it's an endearing image. I can't help wondering if you built snow forts and engaged in snowball fights with other children, just like I did.

Or was it different for you? Did you wander alone through the snow, looking up at the stars above you and longing to be out there amongst them? I'll admit that there were times when I did that; maybe it ws my destiny calling to me, even at that early time of my life.

I can just see you standing alone in the whiteness of falling snow, looking up at the stars twinkling in the dark sky above you, your face upturned, your eyes searching the expanse of the heavens. It's a picture that I can't get out of my mind.

Of course, I know that it's not a very accurate one. I keep imagining you as a child, and I know that you were in a different body then and that you couldn't possibly have looked as you do now. But the face isn't important. I'm thinking more of the person.

I hope that the two of us will be able to answer each other's questions about that part of our lives one day, with no hesitation and no holding back.

But until then, I'm more than content to keep my curiosity about what your life was like then to myself, and let you tell me about it in your own time. Still, I can't help wondering what you were like then -- and if you were anything like me.

I'd like to believe that you were. After all, I know that you share a lot of the same likes and dislikes that I have now -- including the fact that you seem to love winter and the colder weather just as much as I do. It's lovely to share something like that with you.

The next time we're in Cardiff, I hope it's snowing. I love the idea of being able to walk out to winter with you, to see the snow glittering in your hair and on your lashes, and to watch you laughing up at the sky as the snow falls on your upturned face.

That's a rather romantic picture, isn't it? And it's one that I want to hold in my mind's eye until I can actually see it -- and also in my heart. Hopefully, I'll be able to see that picture in the flesh soon -- and it's one that I can't wait to hold close to my soul.

Your loving

Ianto

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