Title: When in Rome
By: Anduria Trianys
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fictional universes or characters. I'm just borrowing them temporarily for a bit of a laugh.
Summary: What happens when Jack and Ianto go to Ancient Rome.

***

Jack groaned as he stepped off the ship. "Well, we're NOT going there again," he said. "Christianity and the Bible weren't exactly open when it came to sex, were they?"

"They liked you at first, Jack," soothed Ianto, smoothing his rather rumpled shirt. "Although that was admittedly before you started going for all the –"

"Yes, Ianto, I get it. Now, where are we and when are we?"

"Hmm…we're in ancient Rome, by the looks of it." The Welshman nodded. "I can't be sure what the year is, though. I'll need to check which Emperor we're under."

"No…I don't think you will, actually." Jack pressed some buttons on his wrist strap. "Yep, we're in Rome…ah, here we go; it's 128 AD." He smiled. "Well, this should be much more interesting." Taking Ianto's hand, they stepped into the forum. "Well, we're not getting yelled at or anything like that," he remarked. He was stunned moments later when Ianto dragged him into a the entrance of a bath house and even more stunned moments later when the younger man kissed him fiercely. "Er…Ianto, not that I don't love you and not that I don't want to screw your brains out, but I also quite like living."

"Jack," laughed Ianto, "we're in ancient Rome, during the reign of Hadrian."

"So?"

"Jack, homosexuality is pretty much the normal thing; in fact, I'd almost go as far as to say it's expected of us. As long as the older man is the active partner, it's okay. Besides, don't you remember what I told you about Hadrian?"

"That he was actually sane?" said Jack stupidly. The heat was making his brain feel heavy. He drew out his little white handkerchief and mopped his brow.

"Well…yes, there is that. But it wasn't what I meant."

Jack frowned. "Hey, wasn't Hadrian the one who…oh." The penny had finally dropped. "Oh…why didn't you say something?" he whined, mock-glaring at his lover.

"Because I thought you'd remember that, if nothing else."

Jack kissed him. "Well…where's that stopwatch?"

Ianto shook his head. "Come with me a second." Taking Jack's hand, he led him down to what appeared to be a changing room. "Now…close your eyes, get your clothes off and come with me," he said. "Don't worry; I've got you." He knew it was stupid, but he still wasn't completely comfortable stripping while Jack was watching. But, when they were ready, he took the older man's hand again (the stopwatch firmly clutched in his other palm) and led him to the baths. "All right…open your eyes," he instructed.

Jack gawped at the various men and boys watching him. He wasn't sure who they were – freedmen or slaves – but… "Damn, this is homoerotic," he croaked.

"Exactly – now, get in there and do all those things –"

"You mean here…with everyone watching?"

"Hell, yeah; like I said, it's not exactly illegal. It's expected."

Jack smirked. "Well, if it's expected…" he grabbed Ianto's hand again and pulled him into the water with him. "Now," he said, "where were we?"

Later, as they wandered back through the forum with their arms wrapped around each other, Jack remembered something Ianto had once told him.

When in Rome…do as the Romans do.

Well, that didn't look like it was going to be problematic now.

***