Previous part of Year of the Cat.

***

"An accident?" Ianto all but screamed at the two men who were now huddling together in the corner trying to get away from the mad Welshman that was coming at them with a very red face. "How do you 'accidentally' read someone's diary? Especially when said diary was hidden at the time? Huh? Care to answer that?"

"Yan, I...it's...what I mean to say is..." Jack was trying to form a coherent sentences as Ianto's eyes bore down on him, cutting him beyond measure.

"You know what?" Ianto stomped over to the bookcase along one wall and pulled out another bound volume. "How about reading this one as well? Or is the fact that it was right out in the open enough to keep you from that? Huh? Oh, I know!" Ianto slapped his forehead in sarcastic remembrance before stalking over to the closet and reaching up on the top shelf and removing a box. He walked in a very calm manner, not at all one you would expect, putting on the voice to match – a voice that could scare even the most hardened of men – one that made Jack visibly shiver as Ianto drew closer. "Here. In this box are all the love letters I got from primary until the ones that Lisa wrote me when she went on the last holiday she took. Maybe you would like to take a peek at them as well." He shoved the box at Jack, who looked at the window, thinking that maybe jumping out was a better alternative to the pseudo-calm and very scary Ianto in front of him. "What are you waiting for, Harkness? I still have a little bit of my soul left private. Go on, eat that too."

"Ianto, I'm telling you, I didn't look for it. I was going to show Henry and it just happened..." Jack was holding his hands up in surrender as he tried to inch close enough to Ianto to reason with him physically.

"Don't do it." Del's voice was a quiet warning, but one they heeded none-the-less. "And you," he pointed to John, who was all but forgotten. "What role did you play in this fiasco?" The words were harsh, but there was a small play of a smile on his lips. "Were you reading too?"

John shook his head, looking almost innocent as he answered. "No, Del, honest. I was walking by and saw Jack. I am innocent."

"Cut the shit," Jack growled, turning his attention from Ianto. "You know what you were doing."

Del looked in question at John, but he merely shrugged and gave him his best puppy-dog eyes. "I was walking by, you believe me don't you, Del?"

There was silence as Del thought of an answer. "Of course I do. Why would you want to pester Jack and Ianto; you don't even know them."

Jack went to open his mouth in reply to that, but saw the look he was being given by Ianto. "I think that you need to leave the room now, Del. And take your friend with you."

"Might I point out that, while this is your room, it's the one that John and I are currently staying in?" Del spoke with an even tone.

"Then we'll go," Jack offered, making a move for the door.

Ianto stopped him with a hand to the chest. "How about this? How about you go to the room across the hall and get your shit and get out of my sight. Go sleep in the car or whatever, but not anywhere under this roof. And I will check from top to bottom before I go to sleep. If I find you, I will kill you." Ianto's voice was too calm; Jack knew this was not an idle threat. He pushed past the man and slowly walked into the room they were sharing.

With a quick glance over at the playpen, Jack looked to see if there was anything that he would need. He was already mentally planning on going to the treehouse – at least that would be somewhere inside and not too cold. He kicked himself for not throwing the sleeping bags in the car in case of emergencies, but how could he have known?

Ianto came barreling into the room with a box stuffed with what appeared to be journals and a rugby trophy. He threw it on a desk in the room."What part of our conversation in the tree house - the one where you promised to take care of John without involving me in it - What part of that conversation made you think that sharing my private thoughts from years ago with the one man who wouldn't hesitate to use it against me was a good idea?"

Jack dropped his arms to his side. "Jesus, Yan, do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Evidence speaks for it self." Ianto wore his hurt face. "You two were the ones all cozy in here alone." He gestured, one hand on his hip, the other indicating the room.

"Cozy? When is scuffling on the floor cozy?"

Ianto fell onto the bed. "I've learned not to judge with you two. One of the many things you've taught me. Now I can add this lesson in trust and privacy."

"Ianto, I...forget it." Jack waved off any explanations that were forming in his head. "Nothing I say will make you believe me." He looked for something he might need, but found nothing. He started out the door, but turned when he heard Ianto's voice, bitter in the small room.

"That's right. So go play the victim, just do it elsewhere. I don't have the energy for it anymore."

Jack couldn't resist one more jab. "Oh right. Wouldn't want to take your specialty from you."

Shattered was not quite the word to describe the look that was on Ianto's face. He rhythmically clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to hold back tears by the repeated movement of his nails digging into his palms. "Yes, Jack. I'm always the victim. Not everyone can be the big damn hero you are. So, I got this – you just wait around until there's something you can do – you know – stride purposefully into the room abruptly, bark orders that include other people's ideas, brood on the roof, polish your gun, or make out with someone..."

Jack let out a slow breath as he mentally counted to ten. Grabbing a pillow form the bed, he planned his exit.

Ianto stopped him by pulling the pillow from his grasp."Thats not yours. I'm sure whatever hotel you check in to will have their own pillows." He didn't watch as Jack walked out, wiping his cheeks. Down the hallway and out the door, past the girls in the living room with Henry and past Becca and Mrs. Jones sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee – never saying a word as he made his way across the yard.

Ianto was sitting on the bed flipping through the book that had started it all when he heard a quiet knock at the door. "Come in," he invited, not bothering to close the book.

The door slowly opened to reveal Becca, her face puffy from crying. She clutched a tissue in her hand as she walked over and sat by him on the bed. "Are you okay? Your mum said that you and Jack had a fight." Ianto nodded in silence, leafing through the journal and stopping at a page.

"June 14. I saw that cute girl who was in my English class last year. She was out with some friends – they were all eating chips. I would have talked to her, but I was with George – he would have made fun of me. Ever since that day when she was sat with her friends in the back of the room giggling, I have wanted to talk to her. In the best interest of my heart, however, I won't. She deserves much better than me. But the way that she smiles...and, that blue sweater she wears with the flowers on it – it makes her almost seem to glow. I really should stop being such a jerk and talk to her. Del would." Ianto looked at her as he closed the book.

"George Wright," Becca mused. "I hadn't thought of him in years. Did you know that he went into the military?"

Ianto shook his head. "Best place for him."

There was a silence between them as each tried to think of something safe to say. Finally, Becca spoke. "How could you do it, Ianto?"

"Do what?" Ianto frowned in confusion.

"How could you do that to Jack? How could you send him away?" She twisted the tissue in her hands, dabbing at her eyes.

Ianto looked at the floor. "It's deeper than what happened here. There's no way you can even begin to understand."

Becca placed her hand on his. "Ianto, I know you think it's different, but it's not." She forced him to look at her. "Love is love, no matter how you want to look at it."

"Becca, it's not that, it's..." Ianto looked at the watery eyes in front of him and found he couldn't go on. "It's also work. And Henry."

"And let me say right now that that is one of the nicest things..."

"Don't. Don't. Please, don't." Ianto was a bit harsher than he meant to be. "I don't want to hear anything else about how noble it is of Jack and I to take in a child that has nowhere to go. I just don't." He looked over to see tears falling down her cheeks. "No, I didn't mean that. I only meant that...hell, Becca, I'm tired."

"I can see that. But I can also see that deep down, you're happy. I saw you and Jack at Christmas. If that isn't love, I don't know what is." She smiled through the now-drying tears. "You can't just throw that all away for a few bad days. He needs you."

Ianto looked at her, confused. "Henry?"

"Jack."

"Oh."

"And I can't see why you are letting someone Del brings to your parent's house endanger one of the best things anyone could ever hope for. I know you two weren't always on the best of terms but why this? It's not worth it."

"Really, Becca, it's not what you think." Ianto took a deep breath. "There is so much more going on that anyone can realize."

"I'm not sure I understand any of that. I mean, if it's something so terrible, wouldn't you need each other now more than ever?" Her voice was confused and her brow creased.

Ianto's own voice was small. "I would rather have him out on my terms than lose Jack to the things I can't control."

"Like I've lost Kyle." The sob escaped her throat before the last word was even out. Instinctively, Ianto held his arms out to wrap her up. She gratefully leaned against his solid form and cried for what seemed like the hundredth time since she found out that Kyle was missing. Ianto rocked her gently and stroked her hair, trying his best not to join her. Once she was sure she was done, she pushed herself away from him and looked into his eyes. "I don't want to be alone."

"I...I..." Ianto stammered out, not knowing what to say. "I...you could stay here if you want. I don't think Mam would mind."

"You don't think Mam would mind what, Ianto Jones?" Mrs. Jones poked her head in the door.

"If Becca stayed." Ianto looked over to his friend. "I don't want her to be alone."

"Of course not," Glenda's eyes softened. "In fact, I think you need a good tea. Answer to everything." She walked into the room and stood by Becca, rubbing her back. "I don't want you driving like that now anyway."

"Not like I have anything to go home to right now anyway." Becca hiccuped back a sob before hiding her face in her hands. Ianto sat beside her, looking and feeling helpless.

"All right, then, tea it is. Come on, I'll make it all better." Mrs. Jones helped her to her feet.

Ianto followed behind, feeling as if he had fought the Cybermen all over again. And this time, he had lost Jack. All of the work they had done to build a relationship on love and trust, and it was all broken by one man. One man Ianto had never dreamed he would see again. And there was nothing he could do about it without giving too much away.

Mrs. Jones steered Becca to a chair across from Gwen before going to put a kettle on. Ianto set his hands on his hips and looked around.

"Where's Henry?"

"Tic?" Gwen asked. Ianto flinched a little at the nickname. "He's down with Tad."

"And Myfanwy?" He frowned.

"She went out to talk to Jack."

Ianto scowled and turned on his heels, dragging himself back to the bedroom as if he were made of lead. No sooner had his back hit the mattress than Mrs. Jones appeared in the doorway, the light behind her making her silhouette seem far more impressive than her size indicated.

"Ianto Andras Jones, who do you think you are exactly?" Her words sounded calm, but there was restraint in them, Ianto could tell.

Ianto sat up quickly. "What do you mean, Mam?"

"Don't give me that. This was meant to be a fun weekend for the girls and I am having no more of this under MY roof. Get that? My roof. NOT yours or Jack's or Del's or John's. Am I understood? Is everything clear to you?" Ianto started to talk, but quickly shut him mouth when she somehow began to loom over him. "I am the one who sent Myfanwy out there. You both need to talk to someone. And if it isn't going to be each other, we'll have to make do with what we've got!" She poked her index finger in his chest and Ianto was sure that was going to be a bruise in the morning.

"But, Mam! It wasn't my fault! Jack messed up at work and..." Ianto rubbed the forming bruise on his chest as he looked up at her.

She put her hands on her hips in a stance that Ianto remembered well from his childhood. "You listen here, young man. I have half a mind to put you over my knee – the whole lot of you! You are all at fault from where I am standing, and it's never okay for you to kick people out of MY house. In fact, can you say that for me?"

"Say what?" Ianto was puzzled.

"Tell me whose house this is," she coaxed with her hands.

"Uh, yours and Tad's," Ianto frowned out.

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Jones put her hand to her ear to hear better.

Ianto cleared his throat. "Your house. The house belongs to you and Tad."

"That's right." She smiled and ruffled her son's hair. "And now that we got that straight, are you going to remember?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Now why don't you take a nice warm shower and I'll bring you some tea." She hugged Ianto.

"No, I don't think..." he stopped talking when he saw her eyebrows go up. "That would be fine, thank you." He watched her walk out of the room and flopped backwards on the bed with a loud sigh.

Myfanwy knocked on the window of the car, startling a daydreaming Jack and making him jump.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, rolling down the window.

She smiled as she poked her head inside. "I was about to ask you the same thing. But I think mine sounded a bit more like 'come around here often'."

"Cute," Jack tried not to smile, but found it hard.

"That didn't answer my question." Myfanwy arched her eyebrow in the uniquely Jones way. "Do you want to try again?"

"Get in." Jack reached across the seat and opened the door.

Myfanwy walked around the car and sat in the passenger seat, automatically reaching for the seatbelt and then hiding it by arranging the things she had brought out with her. Jack didn't miss the motion and smiled.

"What's all that?" He nodded his head at the bag sitting in her lap. "Were you planning on running away with me?"

"Mam."

"Mam is planning to run away with me? Ifan would kill me!"

Myfanwy blinked once, very slowly at him.

"What?" Jack tried his best to look innocent.

"Jack, quit playing around. This is serious."

"I'll say. If Mam and I ran away together..."

Jack got 'the look' from the young woman in the other seat.

"Oh! You meant you and I! Yeah, well. At least you're younger than me – might make you seem a bit like a mid-life crisis, but I can deal with that if you can..." He appeared to be thinking about the situation.

Myfanwy looked out the window. "So, why did you have the fight with my brother?"

"That's cutting right to the chase."

"Yeah, well, I really didn't want to hear you hitting on me or Mam for the next half hour. So?" She turned back to Jack.

He turned away from her. "It's complicated."

Myfanwy punching him in the leg. "Save it, I'm not a little girl. You can talk to me."

"No, really, I don't think..." Jack rubbed his leg, she punched harder than he thought she could.

Myfanwy flipped the hair hanging in her face with a toss of her head. "Okay. Here we go. I am also thinking about dating my boss exclusively. We've been sneaking around for about seven months now. Don't give me 'it's complicated'."

"Myfanwy, this is far more complicated than just that."

"Okay, you two have Henry. But still."

"Even more than that. Our jobs..."

"Oh, so now you're going to pull the 'being a shoeshop girl is nothing like working for the Cardiff Tourism Board'? Weak, Jack Harkness – weak."

Jack shook his head. How could he tell her what was going on without telling her. Ianto was so much better at these things. "No, not that."

"Then what?"

"Then, thank you for bringing the things out to me. You can go back inside and tell your mother that I got them."

Feeling rejected, Myfanwy opened the door and threw the things she was holding in the car as she got out. "Mam says to sleep in the treehouse." She slammed the door and stocked off toward the house, angry at Jack. She was almost to the door when she turned around and knocked on his window again. "She said to tell you that if you didn't that you'd be sorry. Good night."

Jack tossed and turned on the wooden floor, winding himself in the sleeping bag.

"Are you going to brood up there all day?"

"I'm not brooding. I'm thinking."

"I have seen brooding. That's brooding."

"No, it's not. Really."

"It is. Now, come down before I go up after you."

"You wouldn't."

"I am. Here I come."

"Kaget, I'm warning you..."

"Hessa, I'm not listening..."

"I see that." Hessa turned to see Jack standing beside her, a charming smirk on his face. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because," Jack pulled her into his arms, "where would the fun be in that?"

Hessa sighed deeply. "You tire me."

Jack's shoulders sagged. "You don't mean that."

Hessa petted his hair, leaving her hand at his neck. "You're right. This place is what I'm tired of. We should go somewhere more exciting."

Jack was confused. "What's more exciting than being on the run all the time?"

"Not being on the run," she shrugged.

"What do you expect? We are running cons here."

"Your idea."

"I didn't hear you saying no."

Hessa tried to turn from him, but he held her in place."Let's not talk about this."

"You were the one who said you were tired of this. I was just trying to help."

"You're right yet again." She smiled up at him, showing her canines. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about that cute black spot on your pink little nose." Jack bent to kiss her.

Hessa wrinkled her nose the best her kind could. "Don't. You know I hate the stupid thing."

"All the more reason to love it." Jack kissed her on the bridge of the nose. "And I do love it so."

"Stop it," Hessa's voice had a blush in it. "I'm glad you love my nose. Now can you tell me your grand plan?"

"It involves your nose, do you still want me to go on?"

"My nose is involved in what you have planned?"

"Well, not just your nose..."

"Kaget, is sex your answer to everything?"

"Hessa, the only time the answer would not be 'sex' is if the question was 'what don't you want'..."

"I'm trying to be serious here."

"This is very serious..." Jack wiggled his hips.

"Kaget. Focus. We need to think about what we're going to do."

"What do you mean? I thought we had that all worked out..." his eyebrow quirked up a bit.

She sighed. "Can we please be serious? We can't stay here."

"Why not?"

"Kaget, do you remember when I told you that I had a brother? Well, the truth is that I had two. One died in the crash, but the other is out there. Somewhere."

Jack froze. "I thought we said no truth."

Hessa turned away from him. One of her whiskers tickled his cheek.

Jack's eyes opened to see the face of John Hart, dangling a string over his nose. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Oh, you were making some very interesting noises, Jagen," John sat back on his heels.

"Don't call me that," Jack warned pushing himself to sitting. "And what do you mean?"

A grin spread across his face. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

***

"Listen, if you don't tell me right now what you heard..." Jack moved to grab for the man, but John leaned out of his grab range.

"Not really in the spot to make those kind of demand, I think," John said, looking around the small space they were in. "What grown man sleeps in a treehouse anyway? Oh yeah, the kind that gets kicked out of the house by his boyfriend. Now what could have caused that?"

"I'm warning you..."

"What are you warning me? That we won't get to play tea party? I'd be heartbroken, just so you know."

"...John..."

"And I remembered to bring my tutu and party hat..."

"John!"

"Though I did forget my matching gloves. Maybe you have an extra pair..."

Jack leapt forward suddenly, knocking John into the wall. Taken by surprise, John was easily overtaken and fell with a 'thud'. Despite having no leverage, he tried to punch Jack, but was spectacularly unsuccessful. Jack rolled away from the other man in a overly dramatic barrel-roll, causing John to laugh as he got to his feet. "Still the action hero, I see," John brushed the dirt from his shirt.

Jack stood with a smile and walked slowly toward his ex-partner. John straightened up with a grin. Jack had a familiar gait as he approached him, the swagger being one of the things that had drawn him to the man in the first place. But, then again, Jack Harkness could strut sitting down. He'd seen him do it. The room, despite being small, was still big enough for Jack to build up a good saunter before reaching John. Which is why John was not expecting the right hook he got that sent him to the floor.

"What did I do to deserve that?" John sat up, wiping at his nose and doing a check for blood before settling back against the wall.

Jack stood above him, his smirk bordering on smug. "Nothing; nothing at all. You are a perfect saint. Saint Jonalm, they call you in three galaxies." He was still smirking when John leap up and pushed him to the far wall, pinning him.

"EXCALIBUR!" Jack squealed.

There was a heavy silence before the two of them broke out in a fit of giggles.

"Really? You're going with that still?" John wiped at his eyes with one hand, the other holding his side.

Jack was doing the same. "Well, I knew you'd remember."

John laughed, looking at his feet. "That's kind of hard to forget."

There was another silence as the two men looked at one another before the laughter bubbled over in the both of them, spilling out the window as they could do nothing but surrender to the absurdity of it all.

Ianto sighed and closed the door behind him. He wanted nothing more than to have a cigarette, but he knew there was no way he was going to get enough time alone to do that, so he settled on a walk around the yard.

He didn't know who Jack thought he was anyway. First he had dumped a toddler on him when, by all rights and reason, Gwen should have taken him. And then, when he thought things were going reasonably well, John has to show up. He didn't even want to think about how that could have been avoided. Jack could have at least told him that he had seen the infuriating Time Agent – but no, that would have been too easy. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the dark calm surround him. Becca was inside too. That was a whole can of worms he didn't even want to think about. But, yet again, it was in his lap.

Ianto skirted the yard, noticing that there was the glow of a flashlight in the treehouse. He shook his head, knowing that would be where Mam had sent Jack, not wanting him to leave. She had probably set him up with a sleeping bag and a thermos of coffee as well as a few nibbly bits. She had done that to him after fights with Del when they were in school, she was sure to see this situation in the same way. He ran a hand over his face wishing for a lot of things. He wished he could just tell his family the truth about what was going on. He wished that Jack could just be honest with him. He wished that John Hart had found anyone in the world besides his brother. But, most of all, he wished he could find a place to smoke a cigarette that he wouldn't get caught. He was thinking about taking a drive when he heard it – the sound of two sets of near-hysteric laugher cascading out of the tiny window he had been blowing smoke out of earlier. Two sets – one of which he knew very well. The other, he supposed, was one of his worse fears personified. That was confirmed when he heard the voice clearly say "Excalibur!" and the laughter start up again. For a moment, Ianto saw red. How dare Jack tell secrets that involved him after everything else that had happened that day? It would be a cold day in hell before Ianto would say he was sorry, that was for sure.

Becca looked up when she heard the door open. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Ianto grumbled, pulling the door shut behind him. "Everything's just like it always is." He slid into a chair beside her and put his head on the table.

"I just don't get it," Becca said, running her hand over his hair. "What is going on – if you don't mind me asking, that is..."

Propping his head on one hand, he looked Becca in the eye. "I'm sorry. It's just the past creeping up when I least expect it, is all."

She smiled warmly. "Yeah, I've noticed it has a nasty habit of doing that."

"Now you're just making fun of me." His voice was a gentle accusation.

"I would never do that, Ianto." She placed her hand on the arm still on the table.

Ianto covered her hand with his. "That's right. You're not like the people I'm used to being around, I guess."

"Tourist office that brutal?" She flipped her hair when she talked and Ianto caught a hint of the perfume she wore. It made him smile.

He let his shoulders fall. "You have no idea."

Her eyes brightened with a possible solution. "Maybe you should move back here. You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Ianto shut the conversation down as gently as he could.

She withdrew from him, misreading what he was saying. "Oh."

He sighed heavily and reached for her. "It's not that...I'm being a bad friend here. You came over here to talk about Kyle and I've made it all about me."

"No, no. It's actually great. Takes the hurt away a bit." She looked momentarily horrified with herself. "That's not what I meant at all...seems your mum's tea is not all tea..."

"She must have added 'comfort' then," Ianto lifted her mug for a small sip. "How many cups have you had?"

"A few." Becca looked at Ianto, trying not to smile when he raised his eyebrows in concern.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah – maybe I should go home?" She made a show of looking for her keys by patting her pockets.

Ianto stilled her hands with his own. "I don't think that's such a good idea. You drove, right?"

"Yeah." She looked up at him, finding it hard to focus suddenly.

"Then maybe you should think about just staying."

"Where would I stay? I don't want to be trouble."

Mrs. Jones wandered back into the room. "Tad got Henry to sleep. He's a firecracker."

Ianto looked back at his mother, letting go of Becca's hands quickly. "Tad or Henry?"

She frowned at her son. "Are you staying, Becca dear?"

"I was just saying to Ianto that I didn't want to be any trouble..."

Becca earned her own look from Mrs. Jones. "Becca, you know you are as good as family, don't be silly." She turned to Ianto. "Son, give her your bed."

"No, you don't have to-" She stopped talking when Glenda frowned at her. "Thank you."

"Come on, I'll walk you," Ianto stood and offered his arm to Becca.

Glenda smiled at Ianto, pinching his chin. "Always my little gentleman..."

"Mam," His eyes narrowed for an instant before he remembered who he was talking to. "Please don't."

"I think it's sweet," Becca sniffled.

"I think you're tipsy," Ianto observed, looping her arm through his.

"I think you're right."

"Where have you been?" Del asked when he heard the footsteps behind him.

John smiled at the reflection in the mirror, slipping his arms around Del's waist. "How did you know it was me?"

"Let's face it, you are neither Welsh, nor ninja." Del smirked, reminding John briefly of someone else. "And the large clompy boots don't hurt either."

John rolled his eyes. "I guess I should have taken them off?"

"That might have helped." Del turned in his arms. "But I still would have smelled you. I can smell you from across the room."

"Is that right?" John watched Del nod slowly, inhaling with a slow smile. "And what do I smell like? Can you tell me that?"

"Let's see." Del rested his head on John's shoulder, nose nestled in the crook of his neck. "Right now, you smell like the nighttime, outside – a smell that I remember from childhood." He inhaled deeply again, kissing the pulse that was there. "And something else, something under that. Something that doesn't have a name, but a feeling."

"What does it feel like then?" John leaned his head to the side to give Del better access.

"It feels like heat and lust and submission." Del growled, sinking his teeth into John's flesh roughly.

John whimpered and gripped Del's hips, pulling the younger man closer so he could grind against him. Del released John's neck when he tasted blood and John sagged against him. He held John and kissed him roughly while John recovered. John's hand slid between their bodies and quickly undid Del's fly and slipped his hand into Del's briefs to caress his straining shaft.

John dropped to his knees and pulled Del's jeans and briefs down with him. Del kicked the jeans away and stared down at John.

"Suck me." Del ordered, putting the tip of his throbbing cock against John's lips.

John opened his mouth and relaxed his throat, letting Del shove his dick in. Del thrust roughly twice before he paused with John's nose pressed against his body. He held the position for a few moments, waiting until he knew John would be struggling to breathe, before he pulled back just enough for John to gasp around his cock. John took a second to recover before he started sucking on Del's shaft like it was the best lollipop in the world.

One of Del's hands rested on John's shoulder while the other had a death grip on his hair, and he turned to look at the mirror that made Ianto's closet door and watched as John's head moved back and forth, his cock sliding between John's lips.

John hollowed his cheeks and pressed his tongue against the underside of Del's cock, probing the tip whenever he pulled away. Del moaned in pleasure and started thrusting into John's mouth again, slowly picking up speed and strength until he was fucking John's mouth as hard as he could. John clung to Del's hips for balance but took everything the young man was giving him.

"Fuck, John." Del growled, tightening his grip on John's hair. "I'm gonna come."

John hummed around Del's cock and Del came with his next thrust, spilling down John's throat. John swallowed everything and made sure Del's cock was spotless before he let it slip from his lips.

Del pulled John to his feet and kissed him roughly, tasting himself mixed with John's unique taste. John moaned and sank into the kiss, happily giving control to Del.

Del broke the kiss and turned John around to face the mirror, ignoring John's unhappy mewl and pulling off John's t-shirt before pressing his clothed chest against John's bare back. John groaned as the soft material rubbed against his sensitive skin and Del wrapped his arms around John's waist, slowly undoing his fly.

"Wearing your invisible underwear again I see." Del said with a grin, pressing a kiss against the unmarked side of John's neck.

John pressed back against Del as his jeans hit the floor and he kicked them away, begging Del to touch him. Del gripped John's chin and forced him to look into the mirror as his other hand wrapped around John's throbbing erection.

"Look in the mirror." Del demanded, moving his hand from John's jaw to his chest. "Watch everything in the mirror, John."

John moaned and tilted his head to the side to give Del better access to his neck, never taking his eyes off the mirror. John's eyes closed as Del started stroking his cock but they flew open when Del smacked his chest lightly. Del stroked John's cock roughly while he pulled on and twisted his nipples, John watching everything in the mirror. John gasped and bucked against Del, feeling too much and needing to feel more at the same time.

"Please, Del." John begged. "Please."

"Come for me, John." Del whispered, his voice smoky.

John cried out as he came and Del sank his teeth into John's neck for a second time, leaving a bite to match the other side.

"Fuck, Del." John said, turning his head to capture Del's lips.

"Now that sounds like a good idea." Del said leading the ex-time agent to the bed.

Del pulled of his t-shirt and pushed John onto the bed, climbing on top of him and kissing him roughly. One hand teased John's nipples while the other trailed down his body to tease John's entrance.

"We need lube," John panted, breaking the kiss.

Del swore softly and rested his forehead against John's shoulder before he looked up grinning.

"Ianto will have some somewhere. Always the boy scout."

Del climbed off John and searched through Ianto's desk but came up with nothing. He looked around Ianto's room trying to find anywhere Ianto could have hidden lube and his eyes settled on the trophy that showed up out of the blue one day when they were in secondary school. He grabbed it and sitting inside the dented cup was a tube. Del held it up triumphantly and stalked back to the bed, pouncing on John - kissing him desperately.

Del quickly slicked up his fingers and slid two into John, knowing he would be relaxed and open, and John wrapped his legs around Del's waist. After he had stretched John a bit he slicked up his cock and thrust into John with one quick movement.

"God, John. You're so tight. It feels so good," Del moaned.

John dug his nails into Del's skin and thrust against him, urging him to move.

"Eager are we?"

"Hell yes! Fuck me already!" John growled.

Del pulled out of John almost completely before thrusting back in roughly. Both men grunted from the force of the thrust and quickly set a fast and hard rhythm.

The door was suddenly flung open. "Hey, Del, do you have an extra blanket in here? Mam invited Becca to stay and she's staying in the big room, which means I get the couch..." He stopped, mid-rant and stared at the bed, not believing what he was seeing.

"What the FUCK are you doing?" He yelled, trying to look anywhere but the bottom bunk.

Del paused and looked at his younger brother with a sneer. "Having sex, Yan. Has Jack never shown you how?"

"Why the fuck are you having sex in my bed?"

"Because you are in my bed. Alone. Now get the fuck out. Some of us have better things to do than argue."

Ianto glared at his brother and stormed out of what was rightfully his room, slamming the door behind him.

Del turned back to John and pulled him into a brutal kiss, pounding into him harder than before. Del reached between their bodies and gripped John's cock and with three rough pulls John came again, covering their stomachs with his seed. John clenched around Del and he came too, filling John before he pulled out and collapsed on top of him.

"Think he was mad?" John asked, reaching up to brush a stray hair from Del's now sweaty forehead.

Del smiled down and kissed John one more time before rolling between John and the wall. "Think I really care?"

"Not really. Not that I care if you care, mind you..."

"Where were you?"

"When?"

"Earlier – before you clomped in here. Where were you?"

"I was outside."

"You weren't smoking."

"How do you know?"

"Didn't smell it – or taste it – on you. So, what were you doing?"

"Are you jealous? Worried I might be on the prowl?"

"Not worried about that at all." Del put his arm over John protectively. "You aren't a cat."

John turned his head to look at him. "What if I told you I was talking to Jack? Worried now?"

"Not even close. I know I have more to offer you than Harkness ever could."

"Is that right?"

"Yep."

"What makes you so sure about that?"

Del closed his eyes for a moment as if in thought. "Because, John. If he had had more to offer you – you would still be in the treehouse."

"Jack. Jack. Jack..." a voice called to him in the darkness. "Jack, you can't be here."

"But he is!" Another voice, soothingly familiar, joined the first. "I don't know how he found us – but he's here!"

"He can't stay. She was told to tell him. Why the hell is he back?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

Jack cracked an eye open and found himself looking at two people from his past – one looking very concerned and the other decidedly peeved. "Where am I?"

"You aren't where you're supposed to be, that much is for sure."

"Owen?" Jack tried to sit up, but found he was weighed down.

The former Torchwood medic stood, his arms crossed on his chest. "In the flesh. Well, not in the flesh, but you know what I mean..."

"Quit teasing him." The voice was behind his head, but Jack would know it anywhere.

He felt the tears before he could stop them. "Toshiko?"

She moved into his view with a nod.

"Tosh, I tried, I...I really did..." Jack's hands went to cover his face.

Tosh touched his hands lightly with her fingertips. Fingertips that felt so solid, even though Jack knew they couldn't be. "Don't. Don't do this. It wasn't your fault."

When she wouldn't let him cover his face, he closed his eyes. "But it was – if I hadn't let go of his hand..."

"Then it would have been something else."

"She's right, you know." Owen was there, his arm now slung casually over Tosh's shoulder. "If it hadn't been him, it could have been a Weevil or a Blowfish. Or an infected papercut..."

Tosh looked at Owen disapprovingly. "Don't."

"What? I was trying to help."

"Well, don't."

"I don't see what I'm doing wrong..."

"Owen!" Tosh put her hands on her hips, making Jack chuckle, before turning back to Jack. "Sorry about that. You know Owen..."

Jack smiled a sad smile. "What's going on?"

"Didn't Hessa tell you to go back once?" Owen snarked before getting another look from Tosh and shutting up abruptly. "Sorry."

"Hessa?" Jack sat up now, hands griping the edge of the surface he had been laying on. "How do you know Hessa?"

Owen was going to answer, but stopped when he remembered Tosh's last look.

"We just do. Everyone here knows each other," Tosh answered brightly. "We're all family here."

"Where is 'here'?" Jack inclined his head and arched his eyebrow the best he could.

Tosh shook her head, her hair falling in her eyes. "Can't tell you that."

"Come on, Toshiko..." Jack urged, holding his hands out to her.

"I can't, Jack, I can't." She took a step back.

"We're okay, you know," Owen's voice cut in. "Thanks for asking."

"You have to go now," Tosh's voice was sad.

"But I..." Jack tried to speak, but began to cough. "I..." More coughing, and then -

Jack was gasping for air, sucking large lungfuls in, even as the tears ran down his cheeks.

***

Ianto rolled over and draped his arm around the body pressed against his, it's smell was familiar enough to pull him a little from sleep. "Lisa?" he whispered, inhaling deeply.

"Yan?" A female voice muttered from his side. "Did you say something?"

Ianto opened his eyes to see Becca. "No, don't think I did."

"Oh." She buried her face in the pillow before snapping it back up quickly. "Ianto?"

"Yes?" he smiled sleepily over at her, resisting the urge to move her hair from her face.

"What are you doing in my bed?"

"I should be asking you that."

Becca rubbed her hand over her face and frowned. "It was your mother's tea..."

Ianto nodded slowly. "Got it in one."

"I can see your bed's not cold either, little brother." The voice from the doorway teased, making Ianto grit his teeth.

"What do you want, John?" Ianto turned to face the doorway as Becca turned away.

"If you two are done with your pillow talk, you should get dressed and come to breakfast." John turned to leave, then turned back. "Mum says so."

"Don't call her that." Ianto growled, punching the bed and making Becca jump.

John smirked and clomped down the hall in the direction of the kitchen. Ianto growled deep in his throat. Becca touched him and he jumped.

"Whoa," Becca soothed, following through with her earlier touch. "What about him makes you so angry?"

"It's nothing," Ianto lied, starting to sit up. "He's just an ass. I don't care much for him. Del can do better."

"Any more empty reasons you want to put out there?" Becca sat up, smoothing her hair down as best she could.

Ianto glared at her, hoping she would say nothing else. His hope was fulfilled when Becca stood and looked at herself in the mirror, trying to pull herself together for breakfast.

"You look fine," Ianto assured her, looking at her out of the corner of one eye. "Besides, it's breakfast, not a fashion show."

It was Becca's turn to glare. "I need a shower."

"Come on," Ianto offered her his arm again. "Let's go eat – then you can get a shower. The girls probably have something you can borrow." He smiled down at her as an apology. "Oh, and remember it's their birthday..."

"Another!" Myfanwy squealed, her voice carrying down the hall.

"Okay, but no fair using your hands this time," Jack's voice answered with a laugh. "If you get whipped cream on your nose, then you have to leave it."

"Not fair." Ianto could hear the pout in Myfanwy's tone.

Gwen protested. "I had to leave mine. What makes you so special?"

Myfanwy thought for a moment. "I'm prettier?"

"We're twins..." Gwen reminded her.

"I'm still the pretty one."

"We're identical."

"You would say that – me being prettier one and all. It's a way to make yourself feel better..."

Ianto cleared his throat as he walked in. Jack stopped feeding Myfanwy mid-bite and looked at him. The air grew heavy as the two looked at one another. Ianto started across the room, his eyes never leaving Jack's. The older man sucked in a breath and held it without realizing as Ianto neared him, then leaned over to where Jack was still holding the fork with waffle on it. Myfanwy watched as her brother dipped his finger in the whipped cream on her breakfast and put a dot on her nose to mirror Gwen's.

"There. Now you are identical," Ianto announced before leaning over to kiss Jack.

Jack smiled as Ianto pulled away from him and swatted at Gwen to move.

"You can sit over here, sugarplum," John patted his leg, ignoring the look that Ianto and Jack were giving him in favor of the smile Gwen now wore.

"Already getting tired of me?" Del asked, watching as the girl flounced over and threw herself in John's lap.

"Though you wear me out, I'll never get tired of you," John informed him, glancing at Mrs. Jones when she cleared her own throat.

"How did you sleep, Jack?" Becca asked, trying to change the subject.

Jack's eyes fixed on John. "I slept the sleep of the dead, thank you very much." His tone was brighter than the words he spoke. Ianto thought the words sounded wrong and looked toward Jack to find out why. Jack's eyes didn't waver from John's face – even when John began to smirk.

There was the sound of Ifan dropping his paper in mid-snap as Jack spoke, causing Glenda to look up at him sharply, mid-bite. The girls remained oblivious, as did Becca and Del.

"You slept in the treehouse, right?" Del asked, tucking into his own food. "Ianto spent more than half his teenage years up there. He seemed to like it just fine."

"It was the best place to get away from you." Ianto snorted, reaching for his own plate. "You being afraid of spiders and all..."

John chuckled, shaking Gwen who was still sitting on his lap. "You're afraid of spiders? That's good to know..."

"Thanks, Ianto," Del smiled a strained, tight smile. "I needed John to know that."

"Oh, you're very welcome," Ianto smiled back – his insincere smile. "Should I also avoid telling him that you're also afraid of the dark and that you never really learned to swim?"

"Yes," Del groaned. "Please do avoid sharing that."

"You're really afraid of the dark?" Becca slid into the empty seat between Mr. Jones and Del. "I thought you were just saying that to get girls."

Del grinned wolfishly. "It worked though, didn't it?"

"Not with me." Becca smiled at him and winked at Ianto before turning to help Henry, who was taking great delight in painting the tray of the highchair with the toppings from the waffle he had been given.

"What do we do after this?" Jack asked, looking directly at Ianto now. Ianto wasn't sure quite what he meant, so he answered only the surface question.

"The girls get to pick a movie and we go into the lounge and open presents," Ianto explained, looked from one twin to the other. "Where are your crowns?"

"Mam hasn't given them to us yet," Gwen pouted, earning a squeeze around the waist from John.

"That's because your father didn't bring that box up from his workshop yet," Mrs. Jones glanced across to the paper at the other end of the table.

"I was too busy teaching Tic the family business," Ifan stated, his voice muffled. "I'll go get them after breakfast. You won't have to sit through 'The Sound of Music' without them."

"If we hide the crowns does that mean we don't have to watch the movie this year?" Del asked brightly, earning a punch from Gwen.

"Mam! Make Del stop..." Gwen pleaded, leaning forward to beg her mother, shifting in John's lap.

"Make her stop," John whispered in a groan to Del, earning a chuckle.

"What's wrong?" Del leaned in to whisper back.

"As much as I am enjoying this half-assed lap dance from my boyfriend's sister..." John winced, readjusting himself.

"Think we could maybe get to the movie watching and present opening?" Del asked, patting John on the back as he did so.

"Yes please!" Gwen jumped up, dragging John with her into the other room and winking at Del.

"Okay, you girls get everyone in the lounge and I will help your father bring up the birthday box," Mrs. Jones patted Gwen on the back as she walked by.

"Come on!" Myfanwy grabbed Jack by the hand and yanked him along. He held his own hand out and Ianto filled it with his own, smiling at Jack.

"Becca, can you grab Henry?" Ianto called on their way out the door.

"Gladly!" Her voice was as bright as he remembered it. She turned to the little boy. "Come on, let's wipe off you hands and go and sit with the big kids."

Henry looked at her and a slow smile started on his face, making Becca laugh. Ianto smiled himself, knowing that things were going to be better.

"When the dog bites; when the bee stings; when I'm feeling sad," John sang along with the girls, "I simply start cussing and fussing and busting some head, and then I don't feel so bad!" He flung his arms out and put one around Del, the other around Gwen.

"You've seen this a few times?" Becca looked over at him from where she sat on the floor, Henry in her lap.

"Are you kidding? Del and I watch this at least once a week!" Del punched him in the leg. "What?"

Jack and Ianto exchanged looks before breaking out laughter.

"I thought you hated this movie," Gwen teased, leaning across John to her brother.

"He soooo lies," John said, almost under his breath.

"Dead," Del said through a clenched-teeth smile. "You are so dead..."

John smiled back at him brightly, quirking his head. "You can't mean that, snookams."

"Call me that again..." Del was interrupted by the phone ringing. Mrs. Jones disappeared into the kitchen before calling Ifan in. "Ifan – it's for you – it's..." she struggled with herself for a moment. "...Gloria."

"Oh," he said quietly, passing the bowl of popcorn he had been holding to Jack, who raised and eyebrow in question at him. Ifan pretended to ignore him. "I'll be right back – don't stop the movie – you won't even miss me."

"We can open gifts when he gets back," Glenda promised, following him into the kitchen and turning. "I'll just get drinks."

Jack and Ianto exchanged looks that confirmed that each of them knew she wasn't going in for drinks. Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack, who shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"If you two are done having eyesex," Gwen put her leg between them, "Maybe we could play a game of 'sardines'?"

Del, Ianto and Jack groaned. John frowned, "What's 'sardines'?"

Jack sighed heavily. "It's like hide-and-seek, but there is one hider and lots of seekers."

"Sounds good so far." John said, his interest piqued.

"If you find the hider you have to join them in the hiding spot until there is only one seeker left and they lose," Myfanwy added.

"But how is that..." John was confused.

Del smiled now. "In the end you wind up crammed in a tight spot like...wait for it...sardines!"

"Sounds good." John rubbed his hands together, thinking of all the ways this game could go. "Who is the first hider?"

"Not so fast!" Ianto waved his arms around. "We can't play this now! Who's going to look after Henry?"

"Why can't he play?" Becca asked. "We can be a team, right, Tic?" Henry smiled up at her.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. He could get hurt." Ianto asserted. "And please don't call him Tic."

"Aww, isn't that sweet?" John cooed. "Mum is concerned about her cub..."

Del cut his eyes at John. "You have to promise not to cheat." He turned to everyone else. "He always cheats..."

"Where I come from, they call it creative winning. Now, who is the hider?" John stood. Jack felt suddenly sick.

"Really, I would rather not play this now," Ianto grumbled, even as Gwen pulled him to his feet. "There's too much..."

Myfanwy stood and tugged on Jack. "It's our birthday! You have to do what we say," she pouted.

"Okay," Jack relented, getting up. "Always a sucker for the Jones pout. Pull the lip back in sweetheart, I'm in."

"Ianto?" Myfanwy turned on her brother, still wearing the pout, holding Jack's hands in hers as she looked back at Ianto. "Please?"

Ianto huffed and rolled his eyes. "Fine. But boundaries are inside the house. I don't want Henry wandering off."

"You think I would let him wander?" Becca was shocked. "Jeez, Ianto, give you a kid and you become paranoid parent of the year..."

"That's not what I meant..." Ianto's nerves were on alert. "Please?"

Becca's face softened. "Yes, mother hen, I will make sure the chick isn't out of my sight. Relax." She patted his arm.

"We never chose a hider," Gwen pointed out, her grip still firm on Ianto. "I nominate...Del."

Del groaned.

"Seconded!" Myfanwy squealed like a small child, making all the men flinch visibly and the other females laugh.

"All right," Del huffed, "Everyone give me three minutes by the clock."

Jack was walking down the hall, trying not to look like he wasn't playing when he felt someone grab his arm and roughly pull him into the laundry room. The sound of the door latching behind him in the dark windowless room made him jump.

"What's wrong? Afraid to be alone with me?" The voice was not the one he expected to hear at all.

Jack looked around for a way to escape and found none. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Whatever do you mean?" A form leaned against the door casually. "We're in the middle of a game."

Jack pressed himself as far to the wall as he could get, tripping over a laundry basket as he did so. "Only that we're supposed to be looking for your boyfriend, not hiding from everyone else." The room began to feel like it was closing in on him. "Can you please turn the light on?"

Light flooded into the room and revealed John's face. "You're no fun."

Jack scowled, trying to work out how to get past the other man and to the door. "John, what the hell was that up in the treehouse?"

"What was what?" John tilted his head a bit.

Jack shot forward and pushed him against the door, causing John to smirk satisfyingly."Don't give me that! You strangled me."

John pushed Jack off of him and shrugged. "Thought you'd say something if you didn't like it."

"Well, it's a bit hard to say 'Excalibur' with someone's hands crushing your windpipe now, isn't it?"

"Wouldn't know. Not into that kink, myself..."

Jack's eye narrowed and his hands went to his hips. "That still doesn't answer the question."

"Do you really want the truth, Jack?" John straightened his shirt and drew himself to his full height.

"Yes, John, truth would be wonderful here."

"The truth is..." John started and looked down at the floor. "Oh, hell, Jack! The truth is hard."

"You know what else is hard? Explaining to your partner's brother why you killed his current bedwarmer. But I think I could manage. Out with it."

"Truth is...Truth is..." He met Jack's eyes. "Truth is that I was giving you one more chance to show you loved me before I let myself fall for Del."

"Liar."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? You know me. You know that I am capable of love."

"I know that you are capable of sex."

A smirk played on John's face.

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Come on, Jack. Honest. This is the last time I am going to offer. We were so good together. We could be that way again." John moved to put his arms around Jack's waist.

Jack pushed him away. "What about this makes you think it's a joke – a game? I am with Ianto now."

John's arms fell limply by his sides. "Oh right – and the kid – I forgot about your little 'family unit'." He rolled his eyes slowly. "Please, don't let me stand in the way of your..."

The door handle rattled and both men turned as if they were deer caught in the headlights. Gwen stepped in, a smile on her face. "What are you doing in here?"

John was quick to answer, turning in one motion to face her. "Got lost."

"And that's why the door was locked?" Gwen raised her eyebrow in an oh-so-familiar way.

John's own eyebrows knit together. "Hey, that's right – how did you get in?"

It was Gwen's turn to roll her eyes. "It's an easy shimmy. All us kids know it. Mam and Tad have yet to figure it out. Why are you in here? No, wait! Don't tell me; let me guess. You two were sucking face!"

Jack spoke quicker than he meant to. "No. That is so far off base..."

"Right. Let me in on it and I won't tell either one of them. Can't say the same about Myfanwy – have to tell her. Part of being a twin you know..." She spoke with her hands.

"Gwen!" Jack barked.

"What?" Her eyes were wide and innocent. Jack shivered, thinking how much she looked like her mother at that moment.

"We were not 'sucking face'!" He protested, making mire distance between himself and John.

John caught his elbow. "Now, wait, Jack, let's not be too hasty here..."

"Hey, Mr. Questionable Morals, the best way to get people to believe that you are capable of love is to act like it." Jack reminded him, yanking his arm away.

"Oh, I'm willing to show her love."

"Really, now?" Gwen sidled up to the shorter of the two men.

"And you say Del doesn't have to know – though I somehow think he wouldn't really care..." John's hands went to her waist as she drew closer.

Jack slapped him on the back. "John!"

He spun to face the other man."What? She's the one who said. And it is her birthday..."

"John!"

"Pity. Would have been fun." He sighed and dropped his hands.

Jack stood tall. "Listen, you get out of here right now and I won't tell your brothers what you said."

Gwen pouted for a moment before a slow smugness started. "Fine. I'll just go out there right now like a good girl...and tell them that I found you two in here. Alone. Together."

"Gwen." Jack was tired of saying that name in that tone.

"Jack," she countered. "All I'm asking is for some harmless fun. Where is your sense of adventure?"

"Oh, trust me sweetheart, his sense of adventure is long gone..." John smiled, stepping closer to her. "Mine however, is only getting stronger by the minute."

"John, if you move one step closer to her, I swear that I will break your arm – and maybe a few more bones just for fun."

"Chill out. Man, you are whipped."

Gwen smiled over his shoulder at Jack. "Don't worry. He can't be around all the time." With that, she opened the door and walked out into the hall. "You have three seconds to follow me. Then I run to Ianto."

John smiled back at Jack as he watched her walk away. "That one – I like her. She has style."

Jack scowled as he pushed past John and out the door to join the game again.

***

Jack passed the door to the girls' room and heard the whispered argument.

"I'm telling you, it's not a good idea to trust him!" Ianto hissed.

"And I'm telling you that it's none of your business," Del growled back.

Jack peeked under the coverlet to find the brothers face to face. "How in the hell haven't they found you?"

Ianto pulled at Jack's laces. "Get under here quick!"

"I thought you'd never ask," Jack got to his stomach and slid under backwards, aided by the fact that both Jones boys were pulling on him. "Whoa. What's so urgent?"

"Tell him," Ianto demanded, poking Jack in the ribs.

"Tell him what, exactly?" Jack rubbed his side the best he could. "And why the hell do we keep getting stuck under this bed together?"

"Karma," Del muttered. "Tell Ianto I don't care what he says. I am the older brother. I can do what I want as I am an adult – no matter what he thinks!"

Jack sighed, wishing he had never found them. "Yan, what the hell is going on?"

It was Del who answered. "Ianto is trying to tell me how to run my life."

"I am not! Jack, I was trying to talk some sense into him."

Jack turned to face Ianto, wincing when his hair got caught in the springs. "You can't talk sense into Del."

"Thank you, Jack," Del said from behind him. "Hey!"

"What I meant was that you have to let him make his own dumb mistakes," Jack clarified.

"Thank you." Del thought about that. "Wait. Why does all of your help sound like judgments? Whose side are you on?"

"I'm not on anybody's side!" Jack huffed, knowing this could turn very ugly in a very short time. "Can we just be quiet? They are looking for you, Del."

"They gave up," a female voice announced. Henry ran and peeked under the coverlet.

"TACK! TOE!" He crouched down and covered his mouth in a giggle. "Tack-Toe silly!" He made an exaggerated laugh and fell back. Ianto reached out to tickle him before sliding out and dusting himself off.

"Yes, Henry – Tack and Toe are silly," he agreed, turning to Becca. "Where did everyone go?"

"They are in the kitchen with the cake," she said, leaning out the door and pointing down the hall. "I noticed you three weren't there and came looking. Henry was the one who heard you. He's surprisingly strong when he wants to make sure you go the way he wants you to!"

"Yes, he is. Shocked me the first time it happened!" Ianto laughed, letting the boy pull him out of the room.

"Did you say cake?" Jack asked, trailing behind.

Becca just shrugged as she looked at Del, who was still lying on the floor under the bed. "You need some help?"

"Please?" Del asked, putting out a hand.

Becca yanked on him, succeeding in pulling him out enough for him to get to his knees.

"Thanks – this is the first time all day I have seen you without Henry attached to your arm." Del laughed down at her.

She smiled back up at him. "Yeah, well, I always thought..." her sentence trailed off as she looked away.

Del frowned. "What?"

"No, nevermind," Becca shook her head. "We are missing out on cake and ice cream – and that's the best part of birthdays if they aren't yours! Come on!" She yanked on his hand and dragged him from the room.

"Oh, yeah," John's voice rang out through the room, "I've been lots of places."

"I would love to travel," Gwen answered. "But Myfanwy won't go with me – and I refuse to go alone. That just seems pathetic to go on holiday by yourself..."

"Hey now!" Del said, walking into the conversation and the room, "If I hadn't gone on holiday by myself, I never would have run into John."

"That's right. I was standing there, just minding my own business, looking at 'Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss' when this man," he jerked his thumb at Del, not letting go of his grip on Gwen's waist with his other hand, "walks up and tilts his head just so."

"You went to the Louvre?" Myfanwy looked at her brother in question.

Del pretended to be hurt. "Why is it hard to believe that I would do something like that?"

Ianto looked over at his brother through the tops of his eyes.

"What?" Del laughed out. "I went to a museum while I was on holiday. What is so odd about that?"

"And you were actually looking at the art?" Myfanwy asked, looking over at Ianto.

"Well, he is a bit chiseled – you have to admit!" Del covered his embarrassment at being called out by putting an arm around John's neck in a half-hug. "And he just better be glad that the room the 'Mona Lisa' was in was so crowded. I could have found someone else..."

"Not bloody likely..." John snorted with a sly smile. "I had my eyes on you from the moment you walked in..."

"Okay. Enough of that," Ianto pulled Henry onto his lap and held his hand out for the toy dinosaurs that Henry was currently clutching. "This is Myfanwy and Gwen's day – not 'how I met your mother'."

Del glowered at his brother and kissed John on the cheek, who leaned into it with a satisfied smile.

"Who wants cake?" Glenda asked from across the room, saving any further discussion about Del and John. "Jack – maybe you could help me here?"

Jack jumped up, glad for the distraction. As he was carrying the cake back to the table, he smiled at the way that everyone waited for the centerpiece – the chocolate cake, with a number of candles for each of the girls. Even Mr. Jones had abandoned his usual newspaper in favor of watching his daughter's faces light up brighter than the candles.

Ianto held Henry tightly on his lap when the boy's eyes got wide and he reached for the frosting. "No, Tic – dammit..." Ianto hadn't meant to use the nickname, but got a smile from his father when the other man heard him.

"I'll get the candles!" John offered reaching into his pocket for his lighter and shifting Gwen on his lap as he did so.

"Let Del get them," she said, not wanting to lose her spot. John grinned at her. Del frowned as John dropped the lighter into Del's open hand, not looking at him.

"Penblwydd Hapus," John muttered to her as they watched her brother with the flame. "How old are you?"

"You know Welsh?" She turned to him, impressed.

"I'm in Wales – of course I know Welsh. What idiot lives in Wales and works with the public and doesn't?" John cast a sideways glance at Jack, who – if he hadn't been holding the cake – might have decked him right then and there. "And you didn't answer me."

"A lady never tells her age," Gwen flirted, tossing her hair and looking straight ahead. "Isn't that right, Mam?"

"They're 29," Del answered flatly, shoving the lighter back at John. "Are we going to do this or wait until the cake is covered in wax?"

"Wow, Del," Ianto said, clapping Henry's hands together to a tune only he could hear, catching Becca out of the corner of his eye watching with a wistful smile. "But I agree, can you two get on with the wishing? That cake looks really good."

"Seconded," Jack took his place, standing behind Ianto with his hands on the man's shoulders, causing Ianto to look up and exchange smiles.

Mr. Jones was the one to start the birthday song, and everyone joined in, though most of it was at best half-hearted. That didn't stop the girls from leaping forward and blowing out their candles with all the enthusiasm of five-year-olds. After the laughter had died down, Mrs. Jones cut the cake and began handing thick slices around.

"I'll take Henry," Becca quietly offered, holding her arms out. Jack bent to take him from Ianto and pass him over, pulling a chair over to sit beside the other man. Becca beamed widely as she cut pieces of her own cake to feed the small boy.

Everyone was chatting about memories of birthdays past when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Mr Jones stood and went to the door. "You guys keep up what you're doing. Save me a slice."

"Uh, hello?" The man on the other side of the door looked a bit shocked to be looking at Ifan. "Sir? Mr. Jones?"

"Well, unless I'm in the wrong house – yes." Ifan stepped back, still holding the door handle. "If you're selling something, we're not interested."

The young man looked at his hands for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "Mr. Jones, sir, I was looking for Myfanwy?"

"Oh, yeah," Ifan looked back into the kitchen over his shoulder. "She's here. Let me get her. Your name?"

"Lloyd, sir." He once again found his hand interesting.

"Stay there." Mr. Jones shut the door and walked up behind his daughter. "Some boy is at the door, 'Fan. Says he wants to talk to you."

"Who is it?" Gwen's ears perked up. "Who's at the door?"

"Psh! Not for you," Ifan hissed. "Go on, 'Fan – don't keep him waiting."

Myfanwy put down her plate and slipped out the door, closing it behind her.

"Who was it, Tad?" Glenda asked, handing him a plate.

"It was a boy called 'Lloyd'," he said, smiling as he took a forkful. "Wonder who he is?"

"Her boss Lloyd?" Gwen asked. "What would he be doing here?"

"He can't be asking her about work can he?" Becca asked, wiping Henry's mouth.

"No, Becca – he's sweet on her." John remarked, his tone dull. "But dating your boss? How tacky..."

Ianto and Jack glared at him at the same time, John breaking out in a look of complete innocence.

"You know what, Gwennie?" John changed the subject. She shook her head, letting her hair brush her plate. "Where I come from, it's custom for the birthday girl to wear her cake."

"What?" Her eyes grew wide as she realized what he was saying. "No. NONONONONONONO!" She dropped her plate on the table and ran into the living room, John quick behind her, part of his own slice in hand. He chased her through the lounge and back into the kitchen before Gwen flung the door open and dashed past Myfanwy. John shrugged and followed her out the door. Del fell back in his seat, shaking his head.

"He's very high maintenance," Del sighed, talking to no one in particular. "Guess I should get him."

"Sit." Mrs. Jones commanded. "Gwenda can take care of herself."

Myfanwy looked up as the door was thrown open. "I'm so sorry. It's my birthday and my brothers and their...friends showed up – it's all family and crazy in there, I'm sorry – what were you saying?"

Lloyd smiled at her nervously. "I was...it was nothing. Nothing. I was asking if you were having a good birthday." She looked at him for a moment, unsure of what he had asked her. "I mean, I saw it on the breakroom bulletin board and thought that I would drop by and...now is a bad time, isn't it?"

"No, no it's not really." She shook her head with a small laugh. "I mean, it's like this any time we're all together. My family's not...normal." She motioned over to where John was currently chasing Gwen around, "That's...oh, it's a long story – I don't think you have the time." She dropped her hand.

"It's okay. My brother and I fight all the time. I can see how – is she going to be okay?" He motioned over to where Gwen was lying on the ground, John straddling her, cake raised above his head.

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. "She'll be fine."

"Is that one of your brothers?" Concern was creeping into Lloyd's voice again.

"No," Myfanwy answered, almost a little too quickly. "I don't mean to be rude, Lloyd, but you didn't drop by to rescue my sister did you?"

"No, actually," he reached into his coat pocket. "I came to bring you this. It's not much, but it's your birthday, and I thought maybe I should get you something – I wasn't sure which birthday it was for you, so I just kind of guessed and I hope you like it – but if you don't then I'll understand, I think I still have the receipt around here somewhere..."

"Lloyd." Myfanwy put her hand on his arm to reassure him. "It's fine. Really."

"Oh. Well, here it is. I mean, for what it's worth." He handed her a thin box. "Not that I am saying it's worth nothing – or that it cost me too much...I'll stop talking now."

Myfanwy laughed a little before opening the box to reveal a simple tennis bracelet. "It's beautiful!" She pulled it out. "Can you help me with this?"

He smiled, taking the bracelet to work the clasp. "Do you really like it? I mean, I saw you looking at it last week and thought that if you didn't buy it that it would be the perfect gift. And then I thought...I'm talking too much again..." He smiled wryly and met her eyes.

"No, really, it's wonderful. I love it." She looked down at the way the sun was catching it. "Just what I always wanted."

"I swear to you, John Hart, on my life - if you put that cake in my face you will regret it until the day you..." Gwen's voice carried the length of the yard, but was cut off by her getting a faceful of chocolate. "JOHN!"

Myfanwy and Lloyd turned to see him holding Gwen down with one hand as he sat atop her, smiling a mad smile. Gwen was looking back up at him, her face streaked with frosting. Both were panting from their brisk game of chase. Then, out of nowhere, John dropped his smile and looked down at the woman he had pinned. Her hair was spread put around her, creating a dark halo, much like one would imagine an avenging angel may have.

"I'm...I..." John stammered, unable to form a real word. "I..."

"What you are," Gwen said, squirming under him to get free, "is a dead man. I would kill you now, but there are too many witnesses!" She took advantage of the fact that he was still stammering to buck him off. "GRUH!" She stood and stopped off into the house, leaving him confused. As she passed Myfanwy, she repeated the noise with an added squeak.

"Ummm...I should go after her...or do you want to come in...or..." Myfanwy honestly didn't know how to treat the situation. "I mean, my house is full of crazy at the moment - a little less full with the bit of crazy laying on the lawn, but still..."

Lloyd smiled now. "It's fine. I'll just see you at work." He turned to leave, then turned back. "Oh, how about lunch? I mean, Monday. We could go to..."

"I'd love to." Myfanwy clasped her hands behind her and grinned at him. "Monday. Lunch."

Lloyd felt as though he would never stop smiling as he walked back to his car, noticing that Myfanwy left the lunatic out in the yard when she went in.

"I think that's the last of it," Jack said, shutting the trunk. "I honestly didn't think it was going to fit back in."

"Never underestimate me," Ianto smirked, "remember that."

"Oh, I don't. You never fail to amaze me." Jack moved to put his arms around Ianto.

"You're not off the hook."

"Not even if I show you my charming dimples?'

"Not even then."

Jack dropped his arms. "Come on, Yan..."

"We'll talk about it in the car," Ianto put the diaper bag in the backseat and shut the door before disappearing back into the house.

"Oooo," Jack said to no one, "that sounds fun."

"Are you coming in, Jack?" Ianto poked his head out of the door. "Thought you might want to say goodbye..."

"Oh, yeah, right. Be right in." Jack pocketed the keys, hoping that Ianto wouldn't find out that Jack had left the keys in the ignition all night. "I was just rechecking to make sure we had everything."

Ianto leaned in the doorway. "You were talking to yourself – I heard you. Come on in now. Mam will kill me if you don't come in to say goodbye. And you get to carry Henry – he's heavy."

"Yeah well," Jack joined Ianto in the doorway, "If Mam wouldn't feed him so much..."

"If Mam wouldn't what, Jack Harkness?" Glenda was suddenly in front of him, hands on her hips. "Are you saying you don't want to eat my home cooking either?"

Jack looked stricken. "No Ma'am – that's not what I meant at all!"

Her eyes softened as she started to smile, drawing Ianto closer to her. "You have him housebroken, good boy." Ianto shared a laugh at Jack's expense before mentally checking that they hadn't forgotten anything.

"Right, I think we're ready – that is, if Jack would get Henry." Ianto quirked an eyebrow at him and he nodded.

"Who has the kid?" Jack clomped off in the direction of the lounge.

"You take care of them," Mrs. Jones said, suddenly serious.

"What?" Ianto asked, unsure he had heard her right.

"You heard me – you take care of them. I know something is up with that John character. And, call it mother's intuition, but it's not something good..."

"Mam, Jack and I have it under control, don't worry." Ianto hugged her, resting his chin on her head. "There are things going on that I would love to tell you, but I can't. Just trust me that everything is going to be all right."

"Well, they better be, because it's not just about you. You two have to think of that precious little boy."

"Mam, I told you," Ianto sighed heavily, "that's not a permanent situation."

"I don't care. What you do still affects him. Be careful."

"Okay, Mam, I promise. But if we don't get going now – where is Jack?" He gave his mother another squeeze before pulling back to look around. "he can get so sidetracked..."

"Always been like that," Glenda said under her breath.

Ianto turned back to her. "What was that?"

"Nothing, go find him." She shooed him out of the kitchen and toward the lounge, where Jack was just walking through with Henry in his arms, asleep.

"Found him on the big bed, all conked out," Jack laughed, careful not to jostle the boy too much. "Looks like he's going to sleep all the way back home."

Ianto sighed, "And be up all night. Great."

"Oh, stop, you," Glenda turned to her son. "You know you love it that someone needs you."

Ianto grinned a little at the thought and nodded. "Okay, Mam, we have to get going now – we're already behind an hour."

"Always on a schedule! Jack – you need to see if you can get him to relax," Mrs Jones hugged him and kissed Henry on the forehead when Jack bent down. "And I mean what I said earlier, Ianto."

"Right, I understand." Ianto opened the door for Jack, following him out. "And we'll be sure to visit again soon."

"Oh, if you need us to sit for you sometime so you boys can have a night out, don't hesitate to call," Mrs. Jones walked them out to the car and watched as Jack tried to put the sleeping toddler in the carseat.

"Dammit!" Jack stood up, hitting his head on the doorframe and sucking in a breath. "These things are too hard to figure out – you practically need an engineering degree to figure them out! Yan!"

Ianto hugged his mother one more time and went to secure Henry, leaving Jack to take the bag that Mrs. Jones was holding out to him. "What's this?"

"It's snacks," Glenda winked. "I know how it is in the car with a toddler..."

"And Jack," Ianto added, pulling himself out of the car. "Thanks, Mam. We'll call when we get there."

"You better," She joked, watching as the two of them got in the car and waved.

"Oh we will, even though we might not get there until late, which means we won't get enough sleep and Jack will be grouchy tomorrow at work and-" Ianto spoke to her one last time before closing the door and putting the key in the ignition, to find nothing happened. He shot an accusing glance at Jack, who returned an innocent grin.

Gwen tapped on the driver's side window, making Ianto jump. "Something wrong?" she asked, her voice muffled.

"Car won't start," Ianto stated, getting out and slamming the door. "Don't know why."

"Pop the hood," John yelled as he flicked his cigarette stub into the yard and walked toward the car.

"Oh no!" Jack yelled back, stalking across the yard to meet him.

"What? You think I don't know anything about cars?"

"I don't care if you know anything about cars – you aren't touching ours!"

"I second that," Ianto said, turning his head in that direction.

Del came around the corner. "Then let me look."

"No way – one month in an automotive class does not make you an expert!"

"He fixed his car when it broke down..."

"Was I talking to you?"

"Don't talk to John like that!"

"Don't talk to Ianto like that!"

"He's my brother! I'll talk to him like I want!"

"Look, let me look at it..."

"Nothin' doin', John – just don't trust you."

"Right, like I'm going to mess it up..."

"I can look at it."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Jack..."

"Ianto – I hotwired a Chula warship – I think I can manage..."

"That was you? Nice! Was all over the commsreaders!"

"A what?"

"Nothing, Del. And – no, Jack, we should call someone. It could be serious."

"I'm telling you! I can look at it – no need to call anyone."

"Maybe we should get Tad?"

"Ianto, you have three people offering to look at the car – let one of us!"

A cheering sound from the direction of the car got their attention. The four men turned to see Myfanwy and Gwen jumping up and down and high-fiving one another, the car hood raised. Leading from one car battery to Gwen's own car was a pair of jumper cables.

"Looks like they got it," John laughed, earning a look from the other three men. "What?"

***

"Don't be mad," Jack asked, almost pleading.

Ianto twisted to look at him. "Why would I be mad, Jack?"

"Hypothetically, you might be tempted to get mad if a certain dashing captain left the keys in the ignition..."

"I wouldn't, seeing as leaving the keys in the car all night wouldn't cause..." Ianto took a raged deep breath. "Unless the ignition was also on..."

"It was lonely. And I was listening to music before your sister came out and-" Jack squirmed a bit.

"You left the radio on all night?" Ianto mentally counted to ten before continuing. "It's not a big deal."

"You aren't acting like it's not a big deal."

"Well, I said it's not – so it isn't. It could have been much worse than a dead battery."

"So you aren't mad?"

"Oh, I'm mad – just not as mad as I could be."

"Gotcha," Jack let the silence linger for a moment, tapping his fingers on his leg and looking out the window. "So you really aren't that mad?"

Ianto let his eyes stray from the road for a short moment. "Can we change the subject?"

"Right." Jack turned back to look out the window and resumed tapping his fingers on his leg.

Ianto suddenly broke the silence, making Jack jump. "Who the hell does he think he is? Coming into my parent's house with my brother and acting like long-lost family! It's not like you can't look at Del and know who he is! Even you got us confused that one time..."

Jack looked stricken. "What one time?"

"At Christmas, in the bathroom – the time you think I don't know about..."

"I never..."

"It's fine – it's not the first time. Mam couldn't tell us apart sometimes."

Jack was horrified. "Not the same thing at all..."

Ianto smirked, "Still flattered – Del isn't unattractive – worse people I could look like."

"That's true. I once knew this guy on Raloh 12, he was..."

Ianto's tone was steady. "Jack."

"Right, sorry."

"Anyway, are you sure you had nothing to do with this?"

"I didn't! I had no idea he would come back after he took the prisoner and I sent him away."

Ianto braked suddenly. "What 'prisoner'? Who are you talking about?"

"Yan, I really think sitting in the middle of the road-" Jack was looking at an approaching vehicle in the rearview mirror.

Ianto got the car moving again. "You didn't tell me he was here to transport a prisoner. And what did that have to do with you anyway?" Ianto went pale for a moment. "It wasn't you was it? Your past isn't finally coming back to haunt you is it? Because, honestly, Jack, I don't know how..."

Jack laid a hand on the thigh closest to him. "Calm down, sweetheart. Nothing is going to happen to me anytime soon. He was here on official business that happened to overlap with Torchwood business is all. It's all fixed now."

Ianto relaxed. "But who was the prisoner?"

"Someone in our vaults." Jack thought carefully about the next words he used. "A traveler – former time agent like John and I."

"Who was that?" Ianto asked, looking out of the corner of his eye, his brow creased in thought.

Jack was saved by his comm chirping.

"Jack?" the voice on the other end sounded excited.

"Martha?" he glanced quickly at a scowling Ianto. "My personal savior – what's the news?"

"Well, it's good."

"Good news?" He made an impressed face that he knew Martha couldn't see. "That's unusual. What is it?"

"Gwen and I found something that all the victims we have here have in common."

"You did? I thought we couldn't find a connection."

"So did we. We checked every file, every witness, every place they had been in the past two weeks. Nothing. So, I gave up and reran the blood samples we took. Still nothing. Then, Gwen started talking about Retcon and I checked for the compound."

"They had Retcon in their bloodstream? I don't remember giving permission to retcon any of the victims I have seen!"

"Jack, it wasn't Retcon. But there was another compound."

"What was it?"

"C17H21NO4."

"In English?"

"Scopolamine. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow. I just thought you would like to know that we found a commonality."

"Thanks, Martha! As always, my golden girl!"

Jack tapped his comm to close the connection and Ianto spoke. "So, I guess that was Martha."

"Yep."

"And she said it was good news."

"Yep."

"Can you answer with more than one word?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

"For argument's sake, let's say no."

"Martha and Gwen may have cracked the code to what's happening."

"That's great!" Ianto's mood changed instantly. This thing getting solved sooner meant far less paperwork for him. Then he remembered what else it would mean.

Jack picked up on the change. "You aren't going to be upset when we find Henry's mum are you?"

Ianto sniffed quickly. "Jack, I knew this wasn't permanent."

"Good." Another heavy silence passed between them as they listened to the rhythmic breathing from the boy in the backseat.

"Did you notice anything weird going on between John and Gwen?" Ianto frowned as he watched the road, in thought.

Jack grew defensive. "What do you mean?"

"Is it not enough that he latch onto my brother? Does he need my baby sister as well?"

"Ianto, I think you're just being touchy. I'll admit that Del and John worry me – but I don't think you have anything to worry about with Gwen."

"Are we talking about the same Gwen? Wait. Cooper kissed him and almost died – we could be talking about either."

Jack's comm beeped again. Ianto sighed heavily. "Jack? It's Gwen."

Jack held up a finger to signal he would only be a moment. "Go ahead, Williams."

"Cooper," Gwen corrected him with a growl, "Never Williams!"

Jack smirked, thinking he would have to analyze that later. "Fine. Go ahead, Cooper..."

"They found another victim."

"Can you guys handle it?" Jack rubbed his face in frustration.

"Yeah, I think so," Gwen answered. "If we need you, we can call."

"That sounds great."

"Guess you need time to recover from the Jones family reunion?"

"You could say that."

"Can't wait to hear about it."

"You'll have to," Jack teased. "Call us if you need us."

Jack clicked his comm off for the second time and sighed as he turned to Ianto.

"So, the good news didn't hold?"

"Nope."

"You need me to drop you off at the Hub?"

"They can take care of it."

"Okay."

"Listen, Yan, you know that I was going to tell you, right?"

"Yeah, okay."

"It just didn't seem like I needed to. He was there and then he was gone..."

"Got that."

"Ianto, you have to talk to me."

"I don't have to."

"At some point, it will become important."

Ianto looked at Jack for a brief moment, then turned back forward to the road.

"Come on, Yan, don't do this to me."

"Do this to you? Jack, what exactly am I doing to you?"

"You aren't talking about something you aren't talking to me about."

"Was that even in English?"

"No, it was in Welsh."

"Jack, that's not a joke."

"Being Welsh?"

Ianto glared at Jack the best he could without turning from the road for too long. "I suppose you think that's funny as well?"

"Not at all," Jack lied, turning his face so that Ianto couldn't see him laughing.

Another silence filled with only the sound of Henry snoring made Jack's ears almost hurt. It almost sounded as if Ianto were sniffling.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked when he was sure it was a sniff he had heard from the other man.

"Do you trust me, Jack?"

"Of course," Jack nodded in the affirmative, "with my life."

"Honestly, that's not saying much…"

"You know what I mean."

Ianto bit back a smile, fearing it would have ruined the moment. "Who was it, Jack? Who was John there to pick up?"

"I told you it was a Time Agent."

"Jack, I keep the records – there were no time agents in the vaults."

"Well, I didn't know that he was a time agent when he came in."

Ianto arched an eyebrow. "He? Interesting, Jack. That eliminates 14 bodies."

"He? Could be a she."

"But you said 'he' – so you meant 'he'. You, of all people, would never make a mistake like that."

"He is a general pronoun; do we have any snacks?"

"In the back – you can probably reach them – your arms are long enough."

Jack reached behind Ianto's seat and pulled the paper bag into his lap. "Wonder what Mam packed…"

Ianto sighed, seemingly resigned to the fact that Jack wasn't going to tell him any more. "Did she put any of those cookies in there?"

"You mean these?" Jack took one from the bag and held it out for Ianto to take a bite.

He did just that, letting out a pleased noise as he did so. "Those would be them."

"You going to make me hold this while you eat it?"

"Of course – have to have both hands on the wheel." Ianto smirked and looked out of the corner of his eye at Jack.

"Tricky," Jack smiled back, still holding the treat out for Ianto to bite. "But I like it."

"I know." Ianto took another bite. "So, how did you manage to get him down from the top row by yourself?"

Jack shook his head as he took a bite of the cookie for himself. "Didn't have to…"

"Hmmm?"

"I said I didn't have to – he was on the bottom."

"He was?" Ianto smiled, then frowned when he saw Jack was eating the cookie himself.

"Who was what?" Jack tried to take his words back by shoving the remainder of the sweet in his mouth.

"Nothing," Ianto did let the subject drop this time. "So, is the plan to just go home? You sure you don't need to stop by the Hub?"

Jack leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. "For once, I think Gwen and Martha may have it under control."

"Don't sound so shocked, Captain," Ianto poured the sarcasm on the last word. "Gwen did a damn good job while you were gone."

"Ouch." Jack cracked an eye open for a moment. "Point taken."

"Take a nap, Jack."

"Why? So you can ask me questions in my sleep?"

"No – that doesn't work anyway."

"You sound like you've tried."

"Do you want a nap or not?"

"I'd love one. After all, there was that incident in the treehouse."

"Can we not talk about that?"

"That's fine," Jack closed his eyes. "If you don't want to hear about how I died…"

"Really, Jack – don't insult my intelligence; I heard you and John."

"Yan, what you heard was John trying to get on my good side. When that backfired, the bastard choked me." Jack opened his eyes when he felt the gentle hand on his thigh.

"I didn't know."

"I wouldn't expect you to – I couldn't exactly tell you."

"Take that nap, Jack. I'll wake you up when we get home."

"Home," Jack muttered happily as he closed his eyes again. "Such a wonderful word."

"I had two brothers," Hessa sat down, tugging on Jack's hand. "That's something you need to know."

"Hessa," Jack warned as he joined her, folding his legs in front of him, "that's truth."

"Kaget, that's information."

"Well, it's true information. True information that I have no idea what to do with."

"No – that's not…" Hessa's voice trailed off and she looked away. "Kaget, what's your real name?"

Jack's face grew pale. "No."

"What?"

"I said no, Hessa."

"I thought you loved me."

"No one said love," Jack got to his feet. "No one ever said 'love'."

"But you do. You do love me – even if you don't say it. It's in your every word, your every action…"

"I'm sure it's not." Jack turned from her and walked the length of the room. "You must be hearing and seeing things that just aren't there."

"How can you say that?" She stood now to follow him. "That's a lie!"

"Hessa, I have to go." Jack turned suddenly, feeling her eyes on him. "I was called back."

"Called back?" Her whiskers twitched as she inclined her head in confusion. "Called back by who?"

"By people you don't need to know about – a friend." Jack's voice was rough and harsh.

There was a long silence as the two of them sized one another up. Neither was willing to back down and Jack was sure that he heard a low, warning growl and it was definite that her ears had flattened. On the other side, Jack's hands had gone to his hips and his jaw was set in a hard scowl.

"Why are you shutting me out?" Hessa's voice was less her usual feline purr and more a human whine that Jack had never heard before.

"You knew this wasn't permanent," Jack closed his eyes to her tone. "You knew I would be going some day. I had meant to be gone by now."

Hessa grabbed his shoulders, digging her claws in a little. "What was this then? Some kind of vacation for you?"

He shrugged her hands off of him. "That's all it was meant to be. I'm sorry if you thought it was more." The voice Jack was using was coldly detached, not the one she was used to hearing at all.

"Get out." This time, her voice was a barely-disguised hiss. "Get. Out. Now."

Jack made a face as if she had slapped him before looking around the room for anything that might be his. Finding nothing other than the clothes he had arrived in, he shook his head and turned back. "Here's lookin' at you, kid…" He couldn't turn back around as he was walking out, or he would risk staying. But he could hear her crying as he walked out.

"Jack, Jack…" he could hear the voice drifting into his dreams, one that seemed not quite right for the dream at all. "Jack, we're home."

"Home…" Jack was dragged from the fog of his dream. "That took us longer than it should have," he remarked, looking down at his watch. "Was there trouble?"

Ianto laughed in the back of his throat. "I thought there was going to be. Saw what appeared to be two blowfish."

"Why didn't you wake me?" Jack sat with a start, locking the seatbelt.

"Because it was only two teenagers in masks. Very convincing though – should look into the company making them – there's one in the back when you are interested." Ianto smiled. "Wipe the drool off your chin and I'll get the boy."

"I can help," Jack volunteered, taking off his seatbelt and reaching for the paper bag of snacks.

"I see your priorities," Ianto laughed, lifting the boy and closing the door behind him.

Jack followed him to the door, watching as he rummaged around in his pocket for the keys. "Don't know why I bothered even putting them away."

"Habit, I suppose," Jack shrugged. "Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Which definition of 'help' are you using, Jack? The 'help' where you take Henry from me while I open the door or the 'help' where you try to molest me and say that you were trying to get the keys out?"

Jack took the still groggy boy from Ianto and smiled. "First one, and then the other?"

"Jack, you are incorrigible."

"I think, if you would just take the time, you would find that I am, in fact, quite corrigible."

"Really not thinking that that is even a word…"

"Unlock the door?" Jack shifted the weight in his arms as the boy began to doze off again.

"Are you trying to say that he's heavy?" The tumbler clicked and Ianto swung the door open.

"Not at all." Jack rolled his eyes. "Light as a feather. Where do you want the amazing feather boy?"

"Looks like he went back to sleep. You can put him in bed." Ianto started back out to start unloading the car. "But change him first, otherwise you are doing the linen laundry in the morning."

"But I hate changing diapers..." Jack groaned, his arms sagging as much as they could without dropping the child.

"Wouldn't know. Haven't seen you do it once yet. Builds character. You do that, I'll unload the car and then, maybe we can get in a little adult time?"

"Sounds good to me. But can we trade jobs?" Jack put on a pleading look, but was met with a return look from Ianto that could only mean 'no way'. "That's okay, Yan. I still love you."

***

Jack cracked an eye open and glared at the alarm clock. It hadn't gone off yet, but was due to any second. He looked over at Ianto to find him sleeping deeply – mouth agape, hair rumpled in sleep. For a brief moment, Jack considered nudging him, then remembered that he had been up until about two hours ago with a very awake Henry.

The alarm began to beep and Jack reached to switch it off before it woke up the man beside him. Instead, he took a few extra minutes to watch the Welshman sleep, noticing how much younger it made him look. It was making it hard for Jack to get out of bed, but he managed to drag himself from the warmth and into the shower.

The water ran down Jack's back and made him shiver at first, but then he relaxed into the spray and let his head fall back. He thought about all that had happened over the last weekend and wondered how he was going to convince John to leave for good. He was convinced that the man had known who Del was from the start, he just didn't know how he was going to get that out of him. He was lost in thought when he heard the shuffling of feet in the room.

"Yan?" Jack poked his head around the shower curtain and caught sight of the man peering into the mirror. "You okay?"

"Sleepy..." he moaned, leaning on the basin. "Couldn't he just have slept through the night?"

"He did have that nap on the car ride in," Jack resumed standing under the stream of water. "I guess we should have kept him awake."

"I don't think we could have." Ianto flushed the toilet and sucked in a breath of apology. "Oops..."

"Ouch."

"Didn't burn you did I?"

"Not anything important."

"Sorry."

"Forgiven. Go back to sleep."

"But you need your morning coffee..." Ianto protested, poking his head into the shower.

"Not as bad as you need your sleep. Go." Jack waved him out. "I'll call you if I need you."

"Liar!" Ianto called back as he situated himself under the covers again. "But I will get up in just a minute to make you coffee anyway."

"Liar," Jack whispered when he heard Ianto begin to snore lightly.

"Scopolamine – also known as levo-duboisine and hyoscine-"

Gwen yawned. "Sorry – up late last night."

Jack rubbed his temples as he watched Martha's lips move and the sound that went with the movement, but couldn't quite connect the two to one another. "Martha, you know I love you. However, if you could maybe explain this more in English and less in Physician's textbook, I would love you even more."

"Jack, I'm sure you've heard of the compound."

"Martha, the only thing that I am sure about is that if I don't get a coffee soon, no one is going to want to be around me."

Martha tossed a stapled packet in front of him. "This is all the info we found. It took three days. Three full days where we ate nothing but Jubilee Pizza and curry. Neither of us saw our own beds in that entire time. It wouldn't have been so bad, but we also had a Weevil outbreak and two mis-reports of walking blowfish." Martha's hands went to her hips, daring Jack to try to get out of this meeting. "All of this while you and Ianto got to be spoiled by his mum."

Jack's head snapped up. "Martha. I appreciate you for doing that, don't get me wrong. That being said, please don't it the wrong way when I say that you have no fucking clue how stressful this weekend was."

"How stressful are pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries?" Gwen leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms on her chest.

"They were Belgian waffles – and very stressful. Well, not them – it was more the company we were having them with."

"Is this still about Ianto's brother?" Gwen squeaked. "How mature."

Jack looked over at her slowly. "Gwen, shut it. And I mean that in the nicest way possible."

Gwen blinked, then stood, her hands on the table. "The nicest way would have been to not say it at all..."

Jack sighed, resisting the urge to lay his head on the table. "He was there."

"Who was there?" Martha looked at Jack like he had lost his mind. "Ianto's brother? One would think that Ianto's brother being at their parent's house wouldn't be that much ground-breaking news..." She was beginning to lose her cool with her boss now.

Jack went boneless in his chair. "Not Del, John."

Martha's look changed to a frown. "John?"

"Yes. John."

Gwen's eyes bugged a little. "John Hart? I thought you said he was gone for good."

"I guess I was wrong," Jack all but growled back at her. " Can we talk about something else now?"

"Do you think he has anything to do with this?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Hello, paralyzing lip-gloss?"

"Is this," he tapped the packet in front of him, "one of the ingredients?"

"Not that I know of," Martha answered, flipping through her notes. "Should I check?"

"Okay – I'm totally lost then." Jack frowned. "What are we talking about?"

"Scopolamine, Jack," Martha sighed. "Is this a bad time for you?"

"No, I'm listening – well, trying to...maybe we should take a break, get coffee and start over."

Gwen rubbed her hand over her face. " I could go for some caffeine."

"Fine," Martha agreed. "But we really need to get down to business."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Jack, I know you know that. We're all on edge." Martha fell into her chair. "Maybe coffee is a good idea."

"I'll go to 'Latte Lasses' – do we want pastries too?" Jack stood.

"Do you even have to ask?" Martha finally cracked a smile.

"Yan, come one, you have to tell the nice coffee-lady my drink order. She's almost done with the ones for Martha and Gwen," Jack whined into his cell phone.

"Can't you just order a cappuccino? No, Henry, put that down."

"But that's my after dinner drink. It's morning – I need my morning coffee!"

"Okay – tell her this – repeat every word."

"Thank You," Jack sighed and stepped up to the counter.

"Tell her this: Twenty-four ounce, iced, quad shot, caramel sauce breve with a half shot of Macadamia Nut syrup."

"Okay, I can try," Jack began, taking a deep breath. "He says to tell you that I want a 'brave caramel nut sauce with half the ice' – is that some kind of code?"

The girl, whose nametag said she was to be called "PJ", blinked slowly at Jack. "Was that even in English?"

"I thought it was?" Jack frowned into the phone, hoping it would translate.

"Let's make this easy – can you describe it?"

"Well," Jack thought about the drink for a moment. "It's not dark and it has ice. But, it's not clear either – does that help at all?" He looked at the face that he was being given by the girl behind the counter. "Ummm...Ianto gives me a straw? Two if they are colored..." A deeper frown worked it's way onto her face and her eyebrow was starting to creep up as well. "Oh! And it has two silver cups of thick coffee stuff – which somehow Ianto assures me makes four?"

"Uh huh," the barista spoke slowly, "And how big is the cup it is usually in?"

Jack held his hands spaced out to show her. "I think it's like this. I'm not very helpful, am I?"

"You're..." PJ started to speak, but Jack cut her off.

"Confusing you and making you angry?" He tried a bit of the trademark Harkness grin, only to get a small nod.

"Just a bit."

"Ianto, help?" His voice was a squeak of a plea.

"Jack," Ianto spoke slowly, "It will be okay – pass the phone over slowly."

In somewhat of a daze, Jack handed the phone over to a very confused barista. "Hello?" She raised an eyebrow as she took the cellphone from the man on the other side of the counter.

"Hello? This is going to sound odd, so I apologize up front." Ianto's tone was even as he spoke, not knowing what to expect.

"I've heard it all. In fact, I think the description that I just heard is right in the top ten." She laughed into the receiver and looked up to see Jack looking hopefully at her.

"That's my Jack," Ianto laughed, a little sad that he had missed Jack trying to explain the drink to her. "Here's what I told him." Ianto relayed the drink order one more time. "Only, instead of a breve, it needs to be half whole milk and half half-and-half."

PJ smiled into the phone again. "That makes so much more sense, thank you."

"Does this mean that I get my drink now?" Jack gave the 'Latte Lass' the puppy dog look he usually reserved for Ianto.

"Is he doing the eyes?" Ianto asked, a smile clear in his voice.

She checked on the man in question. "Oh yes."

"Good."

PJ turned her back on Jack. "It's actually quite funny."

"Isn't it?" Ianto held his hand over the phone. "No, Henry, please don't eat the crayons..."

"Out of curiosity, how long will he stay that way?"

"Until the warmth of the cup reaches his hands."

"You realize I really want to test that now, right?" She looked back at the man who was now standing and watching her every move, looking lost.

"Go ahead. You have my permission."

"My coffee?" Jack whined, tapping his foot.

"That would be him whining." Ianto was enjoying this more than he thought he should.

"Yep," PJ answered. "I suppose I should really get to making that drink. That way he can get going."

"If you must. Is there anyone in line after him?"

PJ looked behind her once again. "Not that I see."

"Then I would play around with the machine for a while, make him sweat it out. He'll never know the difference. And the entertainment is worth it."

"Consider it done, then."

Ianto chuckled. "It was nice talking to you."

"Same to you – here's your Jack." The phone was passed back and she began what looked like the act of making the drink.

"Ianto, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Jack now turned from the counter to wait for his drink.

"Not nearly often enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, Henry is in the process of eating his way through a box of crayons – Get back to work."

"Yes, sir," Jack laughed into the phone, not realizing how much he missed having Ianto around until now. "And thank you!" He added, taking the coffees from the counter.

"Anytime," PJ smiled, watching as Jack put a 20 pound note into the tip jar on the counter.

Jack strode back into the conference room, happily sipping his drink. Martha and Gwen were already there, once again pouring over the results of the test Martha had run, looking for something they may have missed the first hundred times. "I was thinking about that compound you said you found. I have heard the name before."

"You should have," Martha smiled, taking her drink from him. "I think you may be familiar with it through use, actually..."

Jack sat heavily, passed Gwen's cup to her. "I used it?" He choked on the drink he was taking.

"Well, it's in your bloodstream." Martha crossed her arms on her chest and smiled sardonically.

"What's it used for?" Jack wrinkled his nose, trying to figure out when he would have taken it.

"Lots of things; most commonly, motion sickness."

Gwen sipped her own coffee as she tried to hide a laugh behind her hand and failed. "The great Captain Jack Harkness has a problem with motion sickness?"

"Only on trains, really..." He made a face that included a fake sneer and an even faker laugh. "Okay, you travel through time and space without feeling like you need to barf and we'll talk."

"Time travel?" Martha took a pen from her updo and jotted notes on a pad in front of her.

"Oh yeah. It can be a bitch – but you know about that..." he raised an eyebrows and tapped his vortex manipulator.

"Oh!" Martha covered her mouth in memory. "It really would have come in handy."

Jack smiled at the medic and nodded.

"Hello?" Gwen broke into the moment. "Out of the loop here?"

"Sorry," Martha said. "Just be glad you aren't a member of the club – it still makes me a bit ill to think about it..."

"You get used to it," Jack assured the both of them, looking a bit green in remembrance.

"Does that meant that you've jumped through time?" Gwen frowned at Martha.

"Yep," she answered, a small smile, "Among other things..."

Gwen tapped her foot in a mock tantrum."Gee, Tad, you never take me anywhere fancy! You always did like her better!"

"Girls...girls..." Jack laughed, "I love both of you equally – now, who's going to sit on my lap?" He flashed a bit of teeth at the two of them wolfishly.

"Jack!" They chorused.

"Hey, now. Can't blame a guy for trying..."

Martha shrugged at Gwen, who cleared her throat. "So, this time travel medicine..."

"Well, not only time travel – there are so many applications - but I was wondering if that's the link," Martha tapped her pen on the table in thought.

"Are there any victims that survived?" Jack finished his coffee with a pout. Even though it wasn't exactly the same, it was very very close. "We could start there."

"Already have a list." Gwen proudly passed around the stapled sheets of names and addresses. "How do you want to do this?"

Jack rubbed his face, his eyes blurring at the print on the page. "First we need to cross reference how these people connect. See if they have the same doctor or at least the same condition. Then I suggest seeing if there is anyone else that would fit in the category of possible next victim. Try not to scare anyone though, that tends to make people get quiet..."

"Right." Martha stood, pushing her chair from the table. "I can do that – should be simple enough."

"And what do you want me to do?" Gwen asked, more to Martha than Jack.

"I think maybe if you would check to see if there have been any updates on deaths since this weekend?" Martha motioned to the list with a nod. "Any on the list or people that should be."

"Good." Jack was impressed. "I can start asking questions at the hospital. I have a connection there who tends to be very helpful..." The women exchanged a look. "What? Can't a guy have female friends without people thinking anything is going on?"

"Yes, 'guys' can. Rhys has plenty." Gwen assured Jack with a pat on the arm. "But you are not 'guys', you are Jack."

"That's hardly fair..." Jack was about to argue his point when his cell rang. "Harkness."

"Get. Here. Now." Ianto's words were clipped and anxious.

Jack gripped the phone tightly without realizing. "What's wrong?" Gwen and Martha looked, first at Jack, then one another, confused. He waved away their concern with a frown and walked out of the conference room for privacy. "Yan, what is it? Talk to me."

"It's nothing." Jack could hear him inhale deeply, then exhale raggedly. "It's just – something that Henry did." There was the sound of what Jack thought was the door to the garden closing, followed by the familiar squeak of the board leading to their bedroom.

"What happened?" Jack's voice came out more frantic than he had meant it, his hand automatically running through his hair. "Are you okay? Is Henry hurt? Do I need to just meet you at the hospital?"

Ianto shook his head, not realizing he had done it. "No, no, nothing like that. Just-" He almost found it hard to talk, "Just – just come home and I'll explain."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack tugged on his coat. "Do you need me to talk to you while I drive?"

"I'm fine. Henry's asleep. Just get here." Jack thought he almost heard a sniffle.

"Are you certain you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Certainly certain?"

"Jack, ask me again and I will suffocate you in your sleep."

"Right, coming home now." Jack listened to Ianto hang up before calling out to Martha and Gwen. "Meet back here in the morning – get a good night's rest. Don't do too much here tonight – you two have other lives. Barring an alarm of course, I will see you beautiful women in the a.m."

"Tell Ianto we miss him," Gwen called back.

"Can do!" The cog door rolled back and Jack waved once more before he disappeared, off to make sure Ianto really was all right.

***

The SUV pulled up in front of the flat and a concerned Jack was out of his seatbelt and inside in record time.

"What's going on?" Jack's hand subconsciously went to his holster and he was panting. "What happened?"

"Come with me," Ianto stood in the doorway to their bedroom, still looking a bit shaken, holding a tumbler that was now only ice in one hand. "I'll show you." He motioned with the glass for Jack to go into the living room. "Let me just play this for you."

The screen on the television filled with the image of Henry sitting at the table, falling asleep as he picked up individual pieces of cereal as Ianto's low chuckle started behind the camera. Jack found himself smiling and looking over to find Ianto doing the same.

"Not that," Ianto said, pointing at the screen. "That was fine. It's the next bit."

Jack turned back to see the toddler, sitting on the bed, not moving, his blanket covering him fully.

"Where's Henry?" Ianto called playfully from the television screen.

Henry remained motionless under the Thomas the Tank Engine blanket as he sat on Jack and Ianto's bed.

"Where's Henry?" Ianto called again, this time a little concerned.

Jack frowned and crossed his arms on his chest in thought. "He's really still."

"Keep watching," the Ianto sitting next to him instructed. "There's more."

The small boy was unmoving still – the blanket covering him. Ianto called his name two more times before reaching to pull the blanket away. Ianto stiffened beside Jack as the next part played out.

The Ianto on the screen yanked the cover playfully away to reveal the boy, bright-eyed and still motionless.

"Jane-jer...jane-jer..." he warned in monotone through clenched teeth, staring straight ahead.

But it was the next scene that caused the Welshman to make a strangled noise in his throat. Henry clamped his hands open and closed stiffly, mimicking the metallic sound of gears moving. Then his face softened to it's normal cherub appearance, but his eyes never moved from the fixed place they held. "Bo-bots, Toe. Bo-bots coming. Be careful..."

"Stop it." Ianto's voice was flat as he reached quickly for the remote. It was unclear to Jack whether he was talking to him or the image on the screen.

Jack looked at him silently, understanding everything once he saw Ianto's face. "What happened next?"

Ianto put his head in his hands, looking at the floor. "It happened before I knew what was going on."

"What happened?" Jack rubbed the other man's back. "Deep breaths..."

"I don't know." Ianto turned his head to Jack. "Something inside of me just...snapped. I started yelling and Henry started crying. I don't even know if it was in Welsh or English or French. All I know is that we were both scared by it." A tear slipped down his cheek. "I literally saw red, Jack..."

"Is he – are you - " Jack was at a true loss for words.

Ianto nodded. "I somehow managed to get myself together enough to put him in his room. He fell asleep."

"You need to relax – take a shower. I'll watch him for a little while."

"No, Jack."

"But you need..."

"No, I said. Here's what is going to happen." Ianto sat up to his full height and set his face with a look of determination. "I'm going to go and change." Jack frowned as the other man stood and shoved his hands in his pockets. "And then, I am going out. Alone." He held a hand out to halt Jack's next words. "Sans bebe; no child...Capici? Pob lwc."

Jack looked directly into Ianto's eyes as he answered, unafraid to turn away or give the wrong answer. "Crystal clear. Only..."

"Only what, Jack?" The calm voice he was now using was scaring Jack more than a little. He had only heard him use it a few times – and those had never been when they were having fun.

"Well, what do I do?"

Ianto took a deep breath and started toward the bedroom. "You were a father once, Jack, you'll figure it out...you always do..."

Freshly showered, Ianto emerged to find Jack sitting on the couch watching 'Finding Nemo' and eating leftover takeaway.

"You've got to be joking," Ianto sighed as he walked into the room. "Haven't you had enough of that movie?"

Jack looked up with a smile. "It was in the player," he shrugged, dropping rice on the floor as he did. "You look wonderful – much better. You still going out?"

"Yeah," Ianto looked at the fallen rice as he sat to put on his shoes. "I need the fresh air."

"When are you going to be back?" Jack reached to pick up the grains, trying not to be too obvious.

"When I am." Ianto took his keys from the sidetable. "I'll pick up something for us to eat on the way back. You can feed Henry."

"Right. Feed Henry." Jack turned to the screen and then back to face Ianto. "But what do I feed Henry?"

"This week?" Ianto looked at the kitchen as if to remember, tapping his forehead. "This week he likes...bacon. There's some in the refrigerator."

"I can't make bacon, Yan," Jack laughed, turning back to the television. "How about pasta? How does he feel about that?"

Ianto rolled his eyes as he opened the door. "Pasta was last week. Bacon is in the fridge. I'll be back – have fun." He was about to pull the door to when he heard another question.

"Do you hate me?" It was in the small voice that Jack used when he felt like he was in trouble.

Ianto only met his eyes with a sad smile and closed the door before Jack could ask any more questions and started to walk, not even caring where he was going.

The Welshman thought as he walked – about everything and nothing at once. He thought about how every time his life seemed to be getting on track how something would come along to derail it. He thought about how hard he had worked to get to work at Torchwood with Jack and how winning his trust had been as hard the second time as it had been the first. He thought about how easy that same trust had led him to move in with Jack – or rather get Jack to move in with him. He thought about how much he missed talking to Tosh about things when he was at the end of all of the solutions he could come up with. He was still thinking of Tosh when he heard someone calling his name. He shook himself back to the present and noticed he was at the park close to the flat that he frequently brought Henry to play in to wind the toddler down.

"Ianto?" the female voice called again, this time a little louder.

He looked up to find a woman sitting on a nearby park bench, a small girl playing near her feet. "Sarah," he joined her on the bench with a smile.

"Where's Henry?" She frowned as she looked at him.

"Home," Ianto answered simply, reaching forward to ruffle the little girl's hair.

"With the wife?"

Ianto chuckled. "May as well be."

"Well, that explains the lack of ring," Sarah sighed. "I guess I owe Margot five pounds."

"Margot?" Ianto frowned. "Why's that?"

"Well, she said you were married or at least in a relationship – I said you were a widower."

"Nope. Sorry. In a relationship – even if Henry is putting a giant stress on it all." He sighed, looking down at her daughter. "That ever happen to you?"

Sarah smiled. "Honestly? I love being at home with Hannah." She watched Ianto's face fall. "But I don't really like my old job – who wants to be a shopgirl?"

He nodded in understanding. "Kind of like me having a job as a receptionist, I guess..."

Sarah chuckled, "I could never imagine you as a receptionist!"

"How do you know I don't make a mean cup of coffee?"

"Because, men like you don't make other people coffee, they have expensive blends with complicated names delivered."

"You think?" Ianto tried to hide his smirk.

"Oh, yeah. You have a face that says 'suit'."

Ianto sat up a bit taller. "I would love to get back to my suits..." He was lost in thought for a moment.

"Listen," Sarah put her hand on his leg, but withdrew it when Ianto flinched. "If you want, I can help you out. My sister sends her kids to this one place – because she can't be bothered to stay at home with them – though, to be fair, if I had her kids, I don't think I would be able to either – she's never really paid much attention to her boys anyway – she lets them..." Sarah stopped talking when she saw the look on Ianto's face. "Oh no! I'm not suggesting you don't love your boy!"

His answer was flat. "Uh huh..."

She smiled nervously. "Well, anyway, what I was saying is that I can give you the number for that place – they come highly rated..."

"That would be wonderful," Ianto sighed out, relieved. "I would owe you so much."

Sarah took out her phone and began to dial. "Tell you what," she said, holding the phone to her ear. "Why don't you just bring me breakfast Wednesday – with complicatedly named coffee and we'll call it even – Hi, Wendy? Yeah – oh, Hannah's just fine...do you have the number to the school you send Jake and Adam to? Super!" She took a pen from her purse and wrote on Ianto's arm, much to his surprise. "That should do you," Sarah said, sliding her phone closed.

"Thank you again," Ianto stood. "I guess I'll see you Wednesday then."

"Don't forget coffee!" Sarah called to the retreating man.

Jack heard the door open and looked up from the book he was reading to Henry. "Hi, Honey, how was work?"

"Very, funny, Jack," Ianto fell into a nearby chair, placing the pizzas he had picked up on the table in front of him.

"Toe!" Henry jumped up from Jack's lap and launched himself at Ianto.

"Whoa," Ianto caught the flying toddler and tucked him into his lap. "Jack, what is Henry wearing?"

Without looking up, jack answered, "A helmet."

"And why is Henry wearing a helmet?"

Jack shrugged, tilting his head to think about the answer to the question. "He keeps bumping into things – this seemed safer."

Ianto blinked slowly. "Remove the things – don't add a helmet."

"I thought about that. Then I thought about how you might get angry if I pitched out the coffee table." Jack flashed his most charming smile. "That and if that wall was the main one for the flat..."

"Jack..."

"Ianto?"

"What." He was trying very hard to hold his temper steady.

"I have a very important question to ask you."

"What's that? 'What size helmet do you wear?'"

"Ianto, I'm being serious."

The Welshman sat up a little, adjusting the boy as he did so. "I'm listening."

"Would you kiss me in a box? Would you kiss me in my socks?"

"That's the worst case of paraphrasing..."

"Would you? Could you? In a car?" Jack began a feline crawl across the couch, putting the book on a nearby table as he moved forward.

"Jack-" Ianto frowned down at Henry to remind the other man he was still in the room.

"I think there is a little boy who is very sleepy..."

"Henry looks tired too," Ianto's voice was almost melodic in tone. "I'll make a deal with you."

"What's that?" Jack didn't stop his approach.

"I'll go put this sack of potatoes to bed, get some refreshments and meet you in front of the telly. We can tuck into these pizzas."

"Sounds good – what kind are they? Because I am still not to keen on the Meat Feast."

"Relax. They're Hawaiian. Your favorite. Even though Meat Feast was on special..."

"Maybe you do love me after all." Jack watched Ianto roll his eyes lazily. "Can I pick the movie?"

Ianto stood. "Honestly, as long as there's no singing fish or major life lesson taught by a talking insect, count me in."

Jack grinned. "I know just the movie. Go – put him down; I'll be here when you get back." He stood to give Ianto a kiss before letting him take Henry down the hall.

Ianto gently covered the toddler and looked back towards the kitchen. He felt like finally things were going to pick up – Martha seemed about to crack the mystery and – with Sarah's helpful lead – he'd be able to get back to work.

"Jack, I..." Ianto's words fell on a silent room. Jack was on the couch right where Ianto had left him, pizza slice half-eaten in his hand, blissfully snoring. The Welshman sighed as he ran a hand through Jack's hair. "And you tell people you never sleep – if they could only see you now..."

***

"Good morning, girls!" Jack crowed as the cog door rolled back into place. "Are we ready to track down some answers?"

"Good news and bad news on that," Martha called back from the computer at her desk.

Jack's head fell, his smile fading. "Good news first?"

"We're ready to go out and ask around," Gwen smiled brightly as she joined the discussion.

"And the bad?" Jack closed his eyes in anticipation.

"UNIT also wants answers," Martha said, turning her screen so Jack could see. "This weekend. They want me, you and Ianto."

"This weekend? What about Henry?" Jack was already dialing home.

"What about Henry, Jack?" A sleepy Welsh accent greeted him. "I was having a wonderful dream..."

"Is it the one where you are wearing the feathered angel wings and halo and bright green wellies? 'Cause that one is great!" Jack smiled into the phone, sure that it would translate. The silence that Ianto returned also translated over the phone. Jack tried again. "I'm sorry, should I call back later?"

"No, it must be important – wait, let me guess – another coffee emergency? Or can't you remember your favorite scone flavor?"

"That's unfair."

"So it is the scone then? You like poppyseed. However, if the are out of those, you'll be okay with raspberry. But avoid the blueberry ones – they give you gas..."

"Cute. Now, do you want to hear why I called?"

"Sure." Jack could hear Ianto's stubble rub the phone and wished he were there to feel it as he kissed the other man on the cheek.

"We need a sitter for Henry this weekend. Do you think Mam would do it?" Jack turned his back on the face Martha and Gwen were making at him.

"I can call her and see." Jack could hear Ianto brushing his teeth. "Wait. Why do we need a sitter?"

"Well, Mr. Hygiene, it's nothing like a spectacular holiday at a bed-and-breakfast; it's UNIT."

"You always know the most romantic places to take the one you love. Why, I was just thinking that we didn't get to-"

Jack cut him off without caring. "They want us to tell them what we know."

"That will never take all weekend. Two hours, maybe – if you talk slowly."

"Wow, you woke up funny today. Now how about calling Mam?"

Ianto flopped back onto the bed like a teenage girl. "How long?"

"How long what?" Jack scratched his free ear.

"How long will we need her to watch him?" Ianto sighed despite himself.

"Just the weekend."

"Let me call you back then."

"I'll be right here waiting for you."

"Please don't sing." Ianto hung up and went to the kitchen to get caffeine and call his mother.

"Ianto, honey, I would love to, but your father and I have plans," Glenda Jones said into the receiver. "Maybe next weekend."

"No, Mam, it has to be this weekend. Jack just called to tell me that, uh...a room opened up in a bed and breakfast we've been on a waiting list for." Ianto hated to lie to his mother, but how could he tell her the truth?

"Did you talk to your sisters?" He could hear Myfanwy in the background, laughing.

"No way – they always expect too much in return." That was a lesson he had learned early on, and was not keen to repeat.

"Well, then, I don't know what to tell you, son. Maybe a co-worker?"

"As much as I hate to think about that – I think that's going to be the only way." Ianto sat hard in a kitchen chair.

"I am sorry, Ianto, I really am. If we didn't already have plans..."

Ianto sighed. "Fine." The tone was one that he had used on her many times in his adolescence. "That's okay, I'll just call a co-worker."

"Okay, sweetheart – give our love to Jack and Tic." her voice brightened.

"Mam!" Ianto shouted into the phone to keep his mother from hanging up, afraid it was too late.

Her voice returned. "Yes, Ianto?"

"You're serious?" His tone was one of disbelief.

Mrs. Jones half-laughed in response. "Of course. Your father and I haven't been on holiday in an long time. Not since we went to EuroDisney."

"But we never went to EuroDisney..."

"Shush you! We deserve this, don't you think?" He could hear her tapping her foot, see her in his mind's eye put her hand on her hip.

"Well, yeah, but..." Even without her being there, he was shrinking under the glare in her voice.

"But what? But you think you Tad and I should drop everything for you? Is that it?" There was a whistle in the background that could have only been one of the girls. Ianto was betting on Gwen.

He quickly tried to back-pedal his words. "No, Mam, that's not it at all – I never meant..."

"Well, let me tell you this, young man, your father and I do not live to serve you, you know!"

"Mam, no, that's not how I meant it to sound. All I wanted to do was ask..."

Her voice had reached dangerous tone. If Ianto had been there in person, he would have searched for a place to hide. "Ask if I'd be a convenient babysitter? Oh no, Ianto, I'm not about to start that! I watch Henry for you and then when one of you other lot have kids, they are going to think that the thing to do with the baby is to drop it off with GranTad and GranMam and they'll take care of him – I mean, we don't really have lives now, do we, Ianto? You must think we're just withering away waiting for your call..."

"Mam, calm down. You and Tad have a wonderful time. I'll call you when we get back."

"Okay, sweetie; love to the boys!"

Ianto hung up the phone and shook his head, thinking his mother was becoming very unpredictable.

Meanwhile, at the childhood home of Ianto Jones, Glenda was holding her hands over her face as she walked to the lounge and leaned on her husband, who was, as usual, hidden behind the daily paper. "I hate to lie to them, Ifan."

Mr. Jones pushed the paper to the side and pulled her into his lap. "I know, Glenn, but we can't just tell them the truth. It might not involve them." He rubbed her back for a moment. "You did good though. You even had me fooled."

She looked at him. "Really? You think so?" Pride puffed her up.

"Yes, love. You were brilliant."

"Thank you, Ifan."

"You're welcome, Glenda."

"So, I guess that means 'no'?" Jack took the final drink of his coffee with a frown into the phone.

Ianto sighed. "Jack, she guilted me. Played the Mam card. It was like I was a teenager all over again! No, Henry, eat the eggs, don't sculpt them..."

"What are we going to do then? Take him with us?" He pushed aside a few papers that may have been important, he wasn't sure at the moment.

"Mam suggested asking co-workers." Ianto took a drink – Jack heard him swallow and almost groaned at the fact that he was drinking the good stuff. "What about Martha?"

"No go – Martha is on the 'going' roster." Jack tried to coax just one more drop from his to-go cup.

"Shit. Gwen?"

"You mean your sister, right?"

Ianto let his silence be an answer. He listened to Jack breathing, waiting for a response.

"You don't mean Gwen Jones?" Jack hoped that no one could hear him in his office from where they were.

"'Fraid not. Here, Henry, use this flannel..."

"I guess I can ask her. Maybe offer her the rest of the day off – with pay?"

"That might be a start."

"Ianto, do you trust Gwen?"

"With my life? Yes. With a small boy? No. But I trust Rhys. Henry, yes, that's wonderful. I'm glad you are making tracks to imagination. Jack, I have to go, Thomas is on. Call me when you know something."

"I'll do that." Jack hung up the phone and walked from his office to where Martha and Gwen's workstations were, wearing his most charming swagger and smile. "How are my lovely female co-workers today?"

"It's your turn," Gwen said, not looking up from the file she was reading.

"I'm not sleeping with you, Jack," Martha said in a flat tone. Gwen giggled.

The man's face fell into a pout. "That's not what I came down here for..."

"And Gwen and I are not going to kiss either..." Martha clicked her mouse.

Jack put a hand to his heart. "That hurts."

"Then what is it, Jack? What do you need from us?" Martha looked up for the first time since he had joined them.

Gwen was the one to answer. "He wants us to stroke his ego." She turned in her chair to face the medic. "Without Ianto around to do it, we have to step up to the plate. I did it last week. This week is yours. Good luck, we're all counting on you..."

Jack stood for a moment, his hands on his hips in indignation. "No one needs to stroke my ego, I can stroke myself, thank you."

Martha and Gwen looked at one another before bursting into girlish giggles.

Jack looked up for a moment, puzzled. "That didn't come out right at all. What I meant to say was that is wasn't your job to stroke my ego – Ianto strokes it when I get home."

The woman looked at one another, lips pursed, before erupting into another round of laughter.

Jack tried one more time, exasperated. "There will be no stroking – of egos or otherwise – on company time! Oh hell. Forget I said anything. Please?" With that, he turned and walked back to his office to think of another way to ask Gwen to watch Henry.

"You," Gwen stood in front of Jack's desk as he reclined in his chair, his feet propped in front of him. "want me to babysit this weekend?"

Jack smiled to himself as he nodded. "Oh, yes, just for the weekend while Ianto and I go to the meeting."

She crossed her arms and set her jaw. "Oh, I get it."

"What?"

"This is so unfair. Everyone gets to go but Gwen, so she gets to take care of the kid!" He half expected her to stomp her foot.

"That's not exactly it..."

"Then what is it, Jack?"

He thought for another moment, watching as Gwen tapped her foot, her eyes wide and waiting. "Well, Ianto suggested you when I called him earlier. He was going to call Mam, but he thought you and Rhys would be better for the job."

Gwen's face softened as she fanned her face. "Really? Ianto said that?"

Jack nodded, pleased with himself for figuring out how to appeal to the Welshwoman. "So, what do you say?"

Gwen took her own moment to think before answering with a sigh. "I think we can do it. Just for the weekend, though."

Jack jumped up, clapping his hands on Gwen's shoulders, startling her a little. "I could kiss you! You can have tomorrow off to get ready – Ianto and I can drop the boy off tomorrow night."

She blinked. "Okay then – I'll just tell Rhys that we need to have kid friendly food at dinner tomorrow."

Jack kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you, Gwen." He released her. "Oh, and he eats bacon. That's this week. Bacon."

"Bacon?" Gwen frowned.

"Yeah, Ianto says that's all." Jack shrugged. "And one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Don't put a helmet on the kid, no matter how much it seems like he needs it – Ianto gets pissed!"

"What?"

"Nevermind."

Recognizing the sound of the boots coming through the door, Ianto called out from Henry's room. "So, did you get a sitter?"

"Yep. I deserve an award for it too." He chuckled as he opened the closet to put his coat away. As he was hanging it up, he bumped the pocket of Ianto's hoodie, causing something to fall out. Jack bent to examine what it was and took a deep breath before calling out to Ianto. "Where are you?"

The answer came back muffled. "In Henry's room, picking up a little. Who knew such a small boy could make such a giant mess – and all in the span of about three minutes. I actually think he may have you beat, Jack..."

Jack stomped into the room that was formerly the office and cleared his throat. Ianto looked up from where he was digging toys out from under the bed.

"What are these?" Jack demanded, waggling a square box at Ianto.

"Dammit, I told Henry to get rid of those; told him you'd be mad if you found them."

Jack looked skeptical. "Did you now?"

"Yes." Ianto looked serious.

"You're telling me these are Henry's?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Henry – the two-year-old blonde moppet watching Teletubbies in the other room at this very moment – Henry?"

"Yes, I was disappointed too."

Jack sighed theatrically. "Up."

"What?" Ianto laughed out.

"Get up." Jack pointed from the floor to the ceiling. "I want to go ask him."

Ianto rolled his eyes and got to his feet, still holding a stuffed bear, as he allowed Jack to pull him into the other room.

"Henry?" Jack asked the small child.

Tearing his eyes reluctantly from the television, Henry looked, wide-eyed, up at Jack. "Tack!"

"Henry, are these yours?" Jack waved the cigarette packet at the toddler.

Henry shook his head, the hair falling over his forehead and into his eyes. "Noooooo," he drew out.

"Good." Jack looked at Ianto out of the side of his eyes. "Because, if they were, you would be grounded." He turned, arms folded on his chest, to face Ianto. "He says they aren't his."

Ianto held firm. "Clearly he's lying."

The look on Jack's face said more than any words could have.

"Well, he is." Ianto defended, sticking to a story even he knew couldn't be true.

"Ianto Andras Jones," Jack's tone was flat and his hands went to his hips.

It was all Ianto could do to hold in the laugh he wanted to let out. "Not buying it?"

Jack shook his head, not changing his stance.

Ianto's shoulders slumped and he sighed, knowing there was no way he could keep up the game. "Why did Owen have to go and die? You would have believed they were his, wouldn't you?"

"Probably." Jack's tone was flat.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Jack and Ianto looked at one another, not knowing what to say. Ianto turned to the boy, who had gone back to the television. "Thanks for ratting me out."

Henry didn't break his view, only pointed and babbled at the screen.

"Right, you would say that," Ianto answered automatically. "And while we're at it – get a haircut."

"We need to talk," Jack said, still quite serious.

"I know – I told him to get a haircut last week – even gave him the money. Wonder where he spent it..." He waved the bear at Jack as he spoke.

"What are you doing with cigarettes?"

Ianto walked to the kitchen, Jack fast on his heels. "Smoking them. Jeez, Jack, sometimes you're thick..."

"I can *see* that you have been smoking them. That wasn't the question. The question was more why." He tried to block Ianto's exit from the room, but he pushed past him and continued out to the garden.

"Because if I didn't smoke them it would be a waste to buy them?" He shut the door behind the two of them so that they wouldn't attract Henry.

Jack leaned against the was as Ianto paced. "Okay, let's try this again. why did you buy them at all?"

"They were on sale and it was that or take up recreational alcoholism?" Ianto smiled his most charming smile. When it got no response from Jack, he continued. "Remember that little talk we had at Mam and Tad's about stress?"

Jack blinked slowly, trying to absorb what he was being told. "So you thought drinking again was a good idea?"

"I didn't think that drinking again was good - hence the cigarettes." Ianto motioned to the pack that Jack still held, wishing he would just hand them over. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

Jack was suddenly angry, but not sure who he was angry at. "Don't try to sugar-coat it! You shouldn't be doing either and you know it!" He was sixty percent sure it was Ianto he was mad at. "At least tell me that you haven't been smoking around Henry."

Turning his back on Jack, he spoke. "I only have him hold my cigarette when the phone rings...OF COURSE I DON'T SMOKE AROUND TIC!"

Jack glared at him, his eyes hard and words flat. "You aren't funny."

"And you are blowing this out of proportion..." The Welshman forced a laugh.

"Right. You killing yourself slowly is a GOOD thing."

Ianto nodded in agreement. "Good point. Let me quit smoking and go back to work. Where I can kill myself quickly." He tried to snatch the pack out of Jack's hand, but was unsuccessful. "That isn't even close to the most dangerous thing I do."

Jack sighed and looked at the cigarettes in his hand. "Ianto, what is going on here? Why couldn't you just tell me that you were smoking? Why did you have to sneak?"

"To avoid scenes like this maybe?" Ianto found the pack very interesting as he tried not to meet Jack's eyes. "God, I need a cigarette..."

Jack appeared to lose himself in a memory for a moment. "Good. So do I."

"Yeah right. Hand them over, Jack." He made another grab for the pack, but Jack held them out of his reach.

"No, really. Where is your lighter?" Jack motioned for him to hand it over.

Ianto quirked a playful look at his boyfriend. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Jack played along. "Don't make me search you, Ianto Jones."

Ianto held his arms up. "Be my guest." Jack patted him down in a not-so-professional manner, taking time for an occasional grope. "Not going to find it there..."

Jack was about to give up when he noticed that Ianto was wearing a tee with a pocket under the button down that he had over it. "How about...aha!"

"Hey! Give that back!" Ianto grabbed, but Jack was somehow quicker. Ianto put it up to chasing a kid around all day.

Looking right at Ianto, Jack shook a cylinder from the pack and lit it, inhaling deeply. "Here." Jack offered the pack over at last.

Ianto all but grabbed the offered pack and shook one out for himself, hands almost shaking at the thought. "Not so fast, Jack. You don't smoke."

Jack regarded the cigarette he held. They didn't taste like he remembered. "Not anymore. I used to. I could stand to start again. Forgot how good it was, actually." He took another puff, closing his eyes.

"Knock it off, Jack." Ianto made to push the cigarette from his lips, but Jack leaned away so he couldn't.

"Oh, so it's fine for a non-immortal?"

"I'm only thinking of you. Wouldn't want you to get wrinkles."

"Right. You can get cancer but don't let me get wrinkles? You must really love me!" Jack placed the lighter back in it's pocket and patted it.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to get cancer. I hardly ever smoke anyway, and I'll quit once things...calm down." Ianto pulled the lighter out and flicked it a few times. "I just need to relax every once and a while." He lit the cigarette he had been holding and, watching Jack, drew his own puff in.

The two stood, smoking in silence, neither man knowing what to say. Jack noted the way that Ianto seemed to relax with every inhalation of the nicotine and wondered just how much the other man had been smoking lately. Ianto only watched Jack as if he was also wondering how long Jack had smoked before stopping.

Finally, Jack spoke. His voice startled Ianto a bit. "What did Lisa think of you smoking?"

Ianto merely glared at him. "I thought we agreed not to talk about her. All things considered its hardly fair to bring her into your fight..." Another drag.

"Well, look at it this way." Jack dropped his and crushed it under his heel dramatically. "Would she want you to do it?"

"No. But I'm pretty sure there are alot of things she wouldn't want me to do." He gave a pointed look at Jack.

Jack found himself nodding. "Fair enough." He reached forward and took Ianto's cigarette, puffing it before crushing it as well.

"What's the big idea?" Ianto looked at the empty space between his fingers, frowning. "I wasn't through."

"The big idea is that I want you to talk to me. I know that you aren't happy here, but I want to know what you want me to do to make you happy."

Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"I'm serious."

"Me too." Ianto held back a smile that was trying to betray him. "Very serious. Best forms of stress relief...drinking, smoking and..." If possible, Jack thought he had raised his eyebrow higher.

"Right." Jack chuckled though he was trying not to. There was just something about Ianto that made him feel schoolboy stupid. "But Henry..."

Ianto held another cigarette to his lips and flicked the lighter, watching for Jack's reaction. He didn't have to wait long. Jack reached forward and took the cigarette from him, only to break it with a grin in Ianto's direction.

"Well that solves it then," Ianto made like he was going to open the door. Giving a look to Jack, he raised his voice just above normal speech level. "Henry, get your coat - Toe needs to go to the shop..."

"Ianto." Jack merely stared at the man in front of him.

Ianto's look could only be described as 'bemused'. "Yes Jack? Is something wrong? You look a little stressed out."

Jack sat on the bench, inviting Ianto to join him with a pat. He reached for his hand. "Can't you please just NOT smoke?"

The other man slumped down and started to poke at the peeling paint on the seat, thinking that maybe it could use a fresh coat in the next week or two. "Compromise?" He glanced sidelong at Jack. "What if I promise to quit again? Soon."

Jack had a counter-offer ready all too quickly. "What if I give you two a day?"

"Just two?" Ianto's face fell. "No way. How about five?"

"Two."

"Four?"

"Two."

Ianto opened his mouth to speak, but could only manage one word – and it wasn't even one that he had intended. "But!" He took a moment to compose himself. "Have you ever spent 10 straight hours with no adult contact at all? Have pity, Jack!"

Jack sighed. "Have you ever spent two weeks in a time loop with John Hart?" Ianto visibly shuddered.

"I'm sure Henry is better than that."

Jack laughed to himself. "Probably eats less crayons..."

"Well if that ever happens again, I hereby give you permission to smoke as many cigarettes as you like; you can take up chain smoking!"

"Honestly? I think a rabid dog is better than Hart."

After a good cleansing laugh, Ianto drew a breath and tried once more. "That doesn't make taking care of Henry any less stressful. I miss my life, Jack."

Jack squeezed the hand he was holding gently. "Okay, honest deal, Ianto. What if I offer you this?" Ianto tried not to look too hopeful, but judging from the look Jack was returning, he was failing miserably. "I won't hound you about smoking if you're up-front and honest about it. And you never do it in the house. And, for god's sake, don't let Martha or Gwen catch you..."

"Umm...about that..."

"What about that?"

Ianto smiled and shook his head lightly. "Oh nothing...but while we're on the subject of deals..."

"You have an offer for me?" Jack was listening hard, hoping it was something he would like.

"You made me lie to Mam. I don't like to lie to Mam. She doesn't...take it well. She thinks we're going on a trip to an exclusive B&B. I suggest we make that happen...obviously not this weekend. But soon."

"What?" Jack was confused. "How was that me?"

Ianto shook his head non-commitally. "I had to tell her something about why I wanted her to take Henry. You didn't give me much to work with!"

Jack put his head in his hands. "Shit. Yes, Yan, I promise that we'll go - you make the arrangements, spoiled brat."

Ianto brightened. "And I promise by the time we go I will quit smoking. Most likely." Jack brought his head up slowly. "Okay, okay I will."

Jack put his arm around Ianto and drew him into a hug. "Good."

"I really do need a day out of here though, Jack." Ianto spoke into his chest.

Jack acted as if he hadn't heard, the whole time thinking what he could say. "Did you say you were going to the shops?"

Ianto sighed and pulled away. "Why? What do you need?"

"You need cigarettes; I need Jelly Babies. What do you say?"

"I say you can't eat Jelly Babies around Henry," Ianto mumbled to himself. "He'll cry if you bite the heads off."

Unaware the other man was talking, Jack continued. "...And we can see about giving you a day off. Wait. WHAT?"

"He'll cry if you bite the heads off." Ianto felt as if there were two children to take care of and Jack was the more infantile of the two.

Without the foot stomp Ianto was expecting, Jack rolled his eyes like a petulant teen. "Fine. We'll sneak out here after he goes to sleep...seems like a lot of trouble though..."

"Well, I'll buy them if you want...but you deal with the distress!" Ianto patted Jack's leg, thinking about what else to say to him. "And is sneaking off with me really too much trouble?"

"No, it's the sneaking part. Sneaking with you is fun..." Jack defended. "Wait. How did this get turned on me?"

"That's fine if you can't be bothered to sneak around with me, Jack. I'm sure I'll think of some way to amuse myself." He watched Jack's face for a reaction. Getting the one he wanted he smiled to himself and prepared to stand. "If you're just going to hang around the house maybe I'll go out..."

Jack pushed on his leg to make him sit. "Don't you dare! You sit. I'll go to the shops. You've had a hard day." He rubbed his back for emphasis. "What do you want?"

Ianto mock-clutched at Jack's arm in fright. "And leave me here all alone?"

"We could all go?" Jack brushed him off comically.

Ianto thought about it for a moment. "Do they let kids in liquor stores?" Jack let his jaw drop in complete shock. "Just kidding! We could go get some ice cream or something..."

Jack's hopes were raised again. "And Jelly Babies?"

"Okay...Jelly Babies too..."

Jack threw his arms around Ianto clumsily. "Yay! And that is why I love you." He released Ianto. "I'll go get Henry." He reached in his shirt pocket for a moment, finding what he was looking for quickly. "You smoke this." He handed over the paper cylinder to a mildly surprised Welshman.

Ianto shrugged it off as best he could. "Huh. If I knew all it took was a pack of Jelly Babies I wouldn't try nearly so hard to impress you." He greedily grabbed the cigarette with a sigh of relief. "Love you..."

Jack frowned. "Was that for me or the cigarette?"

Ianto leaned to kiss Jack gently. "Oh you, of course..." He smiled the cryptically smug smile he saved for occasions just like this.

Jack opened the door, then turned back. "But, Yan? Please hurry up. I don't know how long I can keep him occupied."

Ianto inhaled as he held the lighter close enough to catch the tobacco. "Welcome to my world..."

***

"Good morning," Ianto rolled over to find Jack staring at him. "How did you sleep?"

"That was sleep?" Ianto asked, trying to pull the blankets over his face. "That was never sleep. What's that?"

Jack held up Ianto's familiar cup with the butler on it and grinned from ear to ear. "It's coffee. Not nearly as good as yours but I guarantee that it's drinkable."

Ianto took the offered mug and looked skeptically into it. There, floating right in the middle, was a lone Jelly Baby. "Uh, Jack?"

"Yes?" Jack was still grinning broadly.

Ianto peered into the mug and pointed carefully. "What is that?"

Jack looked into the mug of coffee as if he'd not seen it until this moment. "That?" Ianto nodded. "That's your coffee."

"Right." Ianto agreed with a slow nod. "But what is that in it?"

Jack pointed at the object floating in the middle of the mug. "A Jelly Baby."

"A Jelly Baby?" Ianto poked it, watching it bob under the liquid and back up again.

Jack beamed at his inventiveness. "Yes."

"Erm, Jack?"

"Yes, my handsome Welshman?"

Ianto prodded the sweet again, taking an odd pleasure in watching it disappear into the darkness and back out again. "Perhaps you would like to elaborate as to why there is a Jelly Baby in my coffee?"

Jack shrugged as if there was only one answer to that and it was obvious to all but Ianto. "We were out of sugar."

"We were out of sugar?"

"Yes," Jack shook his head, confused that Ianto couldn't grasp such a simple concept.

"And...being out of sugar..." Ianto struggled to figure it out on his own, but it escaped him.

"And being out of sugar, I had to think of something to substitute. I was looking all over for some packets that I may have shoved in my pockets at some point, but found nothing. I was looking all over and then I got ran into the Jelly Babies that we got last night. I popped a few," Jack looked up and saw Ianto watching him. Misreading the look, Jack continued, "Okay, maybe most of the bag...but, this little guy," Jack poked at the Jelly Baby himself, "he got to go for a swim."

"I'm not drinking this." Ianto set it on the bedside table.

Jack put on a pout. "Come on, you have to give me credit, at least."

Ianto sighed and fell back on the bed again. "I give you credit."

"Thank you." Jack picked up the cup and held it high before knocking the whole thing back with a gulp. He made a face, sticking out his tongue. "You were right. It was worse than bad."

Ianto closed his eyes and smiled. "I tried to warn you." He opened his eyes once more and looked up at Jack, quiet for a moment, looking at him from a different angle. He could see the underside of Jack's chin, the dark hairs starting to poke through the skin in a way that made the Welshman want to rub his own face against it. And the way Jack was looking back down at him, his eyes doing that dangerous twinkle that usually preceded the older man doing something that was totally and completely unpredictable. "Jack, how is this going to work?"

"Well, I'm thinking that you're going to have to get up and make coffee. Sorry about that, I was trying to help." Jack sighed and sat back against the headboard.

Ianto frowned at him. "Not what I meant. I meant with us going off to that meeting. And Gwen watching Henry. How can she be in two places at once?"

Jack put a hand to his chin in thought. "Didn't think that one through, did I?" He caught Ianto looking at him in a way that usually meant he was one step from the look. "Oh, come on, Yan, you think I would leave the Rift unmonitored?"

"Yes."

"That's unfair."

"You've done it before."

"UNIT is sending in a team. We should be well covered. And Gwen can help them if they need it."

Ianto's eyes suddenly opened wide. "A team? UNIT is sending in a team?"

"Um-hmm. It's only fair; they're taking most of our team..." Jack shrugged.

Ianto dragged himself from under the covers and stood to shuffle off to the bathroom. "Then you are just going to have to stay here."

Jack was suddenly rigid with panic. "With Henry?"

"Yes, Jack, with Henry. Problems? Concerns?"

Jack's shoulders fell. "None."

Ianto rubbed his head, messing up the 'just-rolled out of bed' look that Jack found incredibly sexy. "It shouldn't be that bad. I had a few things that needed to be done today, maybe you could occupy Henry and do those at the same time?"

"Sure, I guess." Jack sighed, crossing his arms on his chest. "But I have to drive your car, don't I?"

Ianto looked at him like he was crazy. "Jesus, Jack, I don't want to even think about what a toddler would do to the SUV." He turned to go into the bathroom and popped back out. "Though, it couldn't be much worse than what you have done in the past..."

"Not fair!" Jack called as Ianto retreated. "I didn't mean to spill the red wine!"

"One wonders," Ianto called back, "What you were doing with red wine in the SUV in the first place."

"I told you..."

"Mmm-hmmm." Ianto shot him a dubious look. "Get dressed. You have a long day ahead of you. I have to shave."

"Yan, can't we just take Henry in with us and you can tidy up a bit?" Jack slumped against the wall now, a bit of a whine in his voice.

Ianto sighed. "Jack, we already talked about this." He talked slowly. "We can't take someone into the Hub who manufactures their own sauce."

"Fine." Jack sighed out, going to the wardrobe.

"AND I get to wear my suit!" Ianto's tone was one of glee.

Jack reached in and got out his usual attire. "Yay."

"Come on, Jack, you owe me this. Besides, I'll leave the cigarettes."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. Where is your list?"

"On the table near the key bowl. And are you really wearing that?" Ianto turned on the sink and put his razor under the running water.

"What's wrong with what I have on?" He popped his braces up onto his shoulders. "I wear this everyday. Why would today be different?"

Ianto nodded with a knowing smile on his face. "Oh, no reason. Can you get Henry dressed when he gets up?"

"Can't he just wear pajamas?" Jack fastened his belt buckle as he spoke.

"No," Ianto scolded, lathering his face as he spoke. "He has plenty of suitable clothes – use them."

"Okay," Jack started out the door but turned when he reached the hallway. "A quick question." Ianto looked up at Jack, shaving cream still half-on his face. "Where do we keep his clothes?"

"In his room," Ianto answered. When Jack stood still looking at him, he continued. "In the wardrobe."

Jack nodded in affirmation and opened the door to the toddler's room a crack to see if he was still sleeping. Seeing that he was, Jack slipped in as quietly as he could and opened the wardrobe door without letting it squeak. He rummaged around as quietly as he could before giving up and going back to the room he and Ianto shared.

"Did you find something?" Ianto was finishing up shaving and had started the shower.

"Can't we just put him in a jumpsuit?" Jack sat heavily on the bed before falling back, his arms outstretched. "It works for Weevils..."

Ianto climbed under the spray and gave Jack his answer as the water showered down. "Except? How many child sized weevils have been found, Jack? Do you really think you have a jumpsuit that will fit?"

"Why do you have to make this so hard?" Jack growled to himself and put a pillow over his face.

"Jack, when I get done here, I will go and get him something to wear. You go and...well. You could...go turn on the television and relax. It may be your only time today."

Ianto came out of the bedroom, fussing with the knot of his tie. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that he hadn't worn one recently or if they were merely getting overused during recreational activities. "Okay, so, the list is on the table. And, please, Jack, don't get anything that isn't on the list."

"Why would you say that?" Jack looked hurt for a moment, slipping bread in the toaster and going to stand in front of Ianto. "Your tie looks weird."

"It's the knot, it feels wrong." Ianto admitted tugging on it again.

"Let me try." Jack pushed his hands away and untied it before starting again. "Here's the problem – there's a tiny catch in the fabric here." Jack pointed to a weakened spot on the grayish-silver material. "And I like this one!"

Ianto grinned. "I know." He looked down at Jack's hands as they swiftly redid the tie in a more comfortable way. "Much better. How do I look?"

"Like you are lucky I am on kid duty today or we wouldn't be leaving the flat..." Jack heard the toaster pop up and went to finish it.

Ianto smiled satisfied. "But it does feel good to be back in the suit. I just wish I weren't so tired..."

Jack looked up from where he was buttering toast. "You want me to make you a proper cup of coffee?"

Ianto looked hastily at his watch, trying to think of a nice way to tell Jack that what he made was not 'proper coffee' but, rather, 'swill'. "Uh, running a bit late here, I can get something when I get there." He leaned to kiss Jack quickly before reaching out to take the toast he held. "This, however, I will take. Have a good day!" The Welshman dashed out the door, leaving Jack to watch where he had been.

Ianto hurried on his way to the Hub. It wasn't very far and he thought the fresh air might do him some good. At any rate, it would give him more 'alone time'. He had just rounded the corner when he heard someone call out. Looking up, he saw Hannah running across the playground towards him, her mother in pursuit. Hmmm...too bad she has a kid – she'd be great with Torchwood...

"Sir!" Sarah called to the man who grabbed for the toddler as she tried to get past him to follow the ball that was going into the road. "Oh, thank God, it's you, Ianto..."

Ianto smiled and pushed her lightly to her mother. "No problem. Was just on my way into work. Guess I was in the right place at the right time."

She smiled. "Must have." She looked at what he was wearing. "Nice suit; you clean up well. I thought as much."

Ianto felt the heat rising to his face and let out a nervous laugh. "Thank you."

There was an awkward silence as they thought what else to say to one another. Ianto stared down at his feet while Sarah busied herself with fixing her daughter's hair.

"You said you were going into work?" She asked at last, looking back up. Ianto nodded. "So, does that mean you got Henry into that daycare?"

"Actually, Henry's at home today – with Jack." Ianto met her eyes with his. "And if he and Jack should come out and you see them, would you mind keeping a half-eye on Jack. Can't have Henry wandering off while he's charming someone now..."

Sarah was confused. "And Jack would be your..."

Ianto smiled. "Yeah, he is..."

"Oh, then Margot owes me five pounds." Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I told her that men like you can't be ...well...anyway..."

"Yeah..." Ianto pursed his lips and looked away.

The sides of her mouth curved up in the silence that followed. "So, you still owe me that coffee, you know..."

Ianto nodded, glad that the subject had been changed; it was hard enough to explain their relationship to himself. "I remember."

"Good." Sarah looked down at her daughter again.

Ianto took a business card from his pocket and handed it to the woman. "This is my extension. Call me there's trouble."

"You work for the Welsh Tourism Board?" Ianto nodded – he hated to come right out with a lie. "Let's let Ianto get to work, Hannah." The little girl grinned up at him and she gave a little wave before turning and running back to the play equipment. "Just so you know - Margot owes me another fiver. She said I couldn't get your number."

Thinking it may be safer to take the bus in, Ianto crossed the street to the stop.

Jack pulled out his pocket knife to free the toddler from the mass of duct tape he had used to secure him into the seat when the actual strapping system failed him. Henry giggled and clapped as Jack easily cut through layers and folded the knife back into the pocket of the greatcoat.

"Let's see what's on the list, Tic," Jack said, placing him in a cart. "Milk, sugar, corn – man, this list is boring...ooo! Jelly Babies!" Henry smiled past Jack at a woman entering the store, earning a smile for the both of them in return. "What's this?" Jack tore his eyes away. "Not three kinds of sugar cereal, that's for damn sure – that's hardly fair. And we should get gum for Toe, so he can kick that nasty smoking habit...maybe some hard candy..." Jack caught Henry's eyes straying to another young woman, who in turned smiled at the boy and winked at Jack. "Interesting..."

They had been wandering the aisles filling the list request when Jack came to the frozen food. Scooping up a frozen lasagna that was on the list, he noticed that the corn on the list was on sale. Only, Jack knew that Ianto usually got a smaller bag. Missing his boyfriend's voice was enough reason for the man to decide to call and check. After all, he didn't want a pissed off Welshman on his hands. Jack flipped open his phone and first tried Ianto's cell. There was a brief noise that could have signaled an answer if not for the wet 'plop' that followed. Jack was cut off. Shrugging, he tried the comm number.

Ianto felt more than heard the phone ring in his pocket. He supposed he had forgotten to change it back from the vibration setting he kept it on at home in case Henry should be asleep when it rang. Ever since Jack had downloaded custom ring tones for it, he had only turned it on 'ring' when the other man was around to hear it so he wouldn't be offended by the fact that Ianto found the selection appalling. Cradling the phone between his cheek and shoulder, he went about the task of scrubbing the coffee machine. It looked to him like it had been used to make massive amounts of sludge without the courtesy of even attempting to clean it. It made him ache all the more to get back to this full time.

"Hell-" Ianto spoke into the cell before it slipped a bit on the fabric of his suit. He shifted a bit to get it back and place and tried again. "He-" This time though, it slipped down the length of his arm and, before he could stop it, it landed with a wet 'plop' in the milk pitcher, which currently held super-steamed water in an attempt to purge it from the horror he had found in it - something that resembled the bastard step-child of yogurt and cottage cheese. He sighed and went to push it aside when he was struck with a sudden and horrible thought – what if it had been Sarah and she was calling him about something with Henry? What if the boy was hurt? Without another thought, he plunged his fingers into the pitcher after the phone. And promptly burned his fingers.

Ianto cursed as he sucked on his fingers, alternately wanting to kick the machine and throw the pitcher, contents included at the wall. He settled for dropping the thing in the trash and mumbling.

"What was that racket?" Gwen rushed into the room, still taking off her coat.

"I need a new phone," Ianto said around his fingers. "Do you think you could go and get me one?" He put on his best puppy-dog eyes.

She shrugged her coat back on and shouldered her purse. "Anything else while I'm out?"

"No," Ianto shook his head, then gestured to the trash. "You'll want to get the same kind."

"Well, where is it then?" Gwen was growing impatient and began to tap her foot a bit.

"Over there." He motioned toward the bin with the hand he hadn't just injured.

"Ianto," Gwen clucked as she bent to get the dripping phone. "Do you at least have something I can put this in?"

He tossed her a towel that he had over his shoulder without looking as he mumbled. "I swear that pitcher wasn't left there. I never leave the pitcher on that side..." He reached for the towel, only to remember he had given it to Gwen. "Steam on the left, phone on the right...WHY WAS MY PITCHER ON THE RIGHT!"

Gwen was already gone by the time Ianto's mumbles had gotten to the point of shouting. That left Martha as the only one to answer. "I...uh...wanted a drink. Sorry 'bout that."

"You used this machine?" Ianto's eyebrow twitched a bit.

"Yes." Martha came into view. "Are you mad?"

Ianto leaned casually, one hand on the machine. "How do you make the steamer work?"

"You turn that thing?" Martha smiled as charmingly as she could.

He shook his head bemused. "You didn't do this. Tell me the truth. Was it Jack?"

"Noooo..."

"Well I'm assuming it wasn't Janet or Myfanwy, so that leaves...Gwen?"

"Uh..."

"Since when is Gwen picky enough about her coffee to try and make her own? She usually just grabs whatever on her way in. Why would she start now?"

"She was very thirsty. And busy." She watched as Ianto's eyebrow crept into position. "Too busy to go out."

"There's perfectly good coffee practically next door."

"I'll remember to tell her that next time."

"...And when I say perfectly good I of course mean not as good as mine, but still acceptable..." Ianto was cut off by the 'chirp chirp' of the comms unit in his ear. He pointed at Martha as he tapped it to answer. "We'll finish this later...Hello?"

His ear was flooded with the familiar voice. "Ianto, when you say to get things on the list - what if the size you want isn't on sale, but the bigger one is and it costs less?"

Ianto's shoulders fell back to relaxation. "Just go ahead and get it." He looked around for another towel. "Wait. How much bigger?"

"Double the size - do we use that much corn?"

"Are you looking at frozen or canned?"

"Frozen. Henry, don't."

"Just get it, you don't have to use the whole bag all at once. And what is Henry doing? You didn't let him grab anything did you? Don't let him lick the shelves!"

Martha stood by, stifling a giggle at how normal this conversation sounded.

Jack chuckled. "Relax, he's not licking shelves - he's in the cart. Pulling on buttons I asked him not to."

"Buttons? What buttons?"

"The ones on my coat." Jack dismissed. "...and what is this on the list about-"

"Don't let him at the top button, I've been meaning to attach it better."

"Too late - Henry, spit. Gross. He really does manufacture his own sauce!"

"Is he okay? Is he choking?" Ianto ran his hands through his hair. "I should have taken care of that last night...JACK, TALK TO ME!" Martha couldn't help but listen closer in case she was needed. "Is Henry okay?"

"He's fine. Geez."

Martha and Ianto let out a breath together. "Okay. Don't scare me like that!"

"Ianto, he spit it into my hand - that was ick. Oh, man, what's that...ewww." Jack's tone was suddenly serious. "I think Henry is rotting."

"First: Henry isn't rotting." Ianto rolled his eyes, making Martha laugh again. "Second; put the button in your inside pocket, I'll take care of it tomorrow."

"Really? My pocket? Hmm...so I should take it out of my mouth then?"Jack grinned. "Are you sure he's not rotting? You aren't here to smell that."

"Of course he's not rotting. You probably just need to change him. He's only mostly toilet trained you know. You did remember diapers didn't you?"

"Uh...Tic, you want to go see Toe?"

Ianto sighed. "Aisle 6. Easy Up Pants. Size 4. Don't forget the wipes. He is not coming into the Hub. Not all sauced up like that. Check out with what you have, change him and then finish the list."

"Then can we come see you? I think he'd get a kick out of Janet."

Ianto rubbed his face. "Please tell me you're kidding."

Jack laughed deep in his throat. "What? Kids love monsters."

"Monsters love kids."

"Win-win, Ianto!"

"But not in the same way, Jack. I would like to get through today with Henry still in one piece. Think you can manage that?"

"Fine. Any dry cleaning I need to pick up on the way home?"

"Yes. Make sure you hang it on the opposite side of the car from Henry or he'll try to slither into the bag." Ianto had almost finished cleaning the machine back to an acceptable condition. Not perfect, but it would do for now.

"Noted." Ianto heard a silence that meant Jack was chewing his lip. "Am I supposed to fix dinner?"

Ianto spoke to him like he was talking to a small child. "That's why the frozen dinner is on the list. You can manage to pop that in the oven, right?"

"I feel positively domestic. Should I also wear pearls and heels?"

"You can wear whatever you like, just make sure you have something on under the apron. Don't want to scar the poor boy for life."

"You're no fun!"

"I'm fond of your bits, remember? Would hate for them to get caught in the oven door."

"Good point. No, Tic. I don't think Toe wants you to have...well, now that you have it open..."

"Dare I ask?" He looked pitifully at Martha, who merely shrugged.

"I wouldn't." Jack's voice smiled for him.

A sigh escaped the Welshman's lips. "Anything else?"

"Can I get Sugar Bombs?" Jack hoped the eyes he was making translated over the phone.

"Are you only asking me now because you know that Henry is currently eating out of an open box of them as we speak?"

"No." Jack answered a bit too quickly.

"In that case, no. No Sugar Bombs in the house."

"Tic, you can't tell..." A little boy giggle came through the line clearly. "Are you sure? They are 'yum yum yummy' - says so on the box..."

"Can I talk to him for a minute? See how he's doing?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Hey, Tic! How's it going buddy?" Ianto tried to hide the fact that he had missed spending the morning with the boy.

"Toe! Bombs. Yum-my!" Henry exclaimed happily. "I eat."

Ianto hid the growl he wanted to respond with. "Tac gave you Sugar Bombs? Wasn't that sweet? Make sure you don't throw them at him. That would be very bad."

Henry smiled into the phone, not realizing Ianto couldn't see him, then frowned.

"Still there, Tic? Want to hand the phone back to Tac? I'll see you when I get home, okay?"

"'kay!"

There was the sound of Jack taking the phone back followed by a disgusted grunt. "Eww..he got the phone sticky!"

"Side effects of Sugar Bombs. Make sure you use the wipes to clean him off before you get in the car."

"Thanks for the tip," Jack said around crunching noises.

Ianto sighed the heaviest he had that day. "Not you too!"

"What?" Jack mumbled out mid crunch.

"How big a box?"

"The one on the shelf that was beside the cart..."

"Do all three of us a favor and don't let him eat the whole box..."

"That," Jack crunched out, "I can manage."

"...And we're not having Sugar Bombs for dinner."

"Maybe you aren't..."

"You're cooking, remember?"

Jack tried to hide the smile in his voice. "You like take-out burgers, right?"

Ianto started to pace away from the coffee machine and near Gwen's desk. "Maybe I should just take care of dinner after all."

"No, I'll get it. You're busy. You sure you don't want to see us?"

Ianto hastily looked at his watch. "I'd meet you somewhere, but there's too much left to do around here. And I don't want Henry in the hub, so as much as I'd like to see you, it's going to have to wait."

Jack let out a long-suffering sigh. "Fine. Anything else you want us to do?"

"You have the list." Ianto sat in Gwen's chair and stared at her computer monitor as it scrolled through the pictures on the screensaver.

"Nothing else?" Jack's voice implied there was more to the question than he was asking.

"Like?" A picture of Gwen and Rhys on their wedding day popped into view.

"Ice cream?" His tone had changed to hopeful and Ianto was sure he heard the sound of small hands clapping in glee at the mere mention of the words.

"Sugar Bombs and ice cream?" Ianto groaned, watching a picture of Martha fade in and then back out.

"What? That's a gourmet meal on Boeshane! Tell him, Tic..." Jack laughed.

The picture of Owen and Tosh that was framed back at Jack and Ianto's flat filled the screen. "You keep saying things like that, but according to my research it's just not true. I found a lot of oatmeal."

"All right - get back to work. What do I pay you for?"

"You're not the one signing the checks." A picture of Ianto and Jack, so close together that paper couldn't be fit between them flashed.

"Cheeky."

"You know it." The picture of Jack and Ianto was replaced by one of Andy, looking peeved at the camera and trying to wave it away.

"If you're going to be late, call?"

"Let me get back to work then." Ianto stood, stretching. "Oh - and don't call my cell for the next little bit. Gwen is replacing it for me."

"What happened to it?"

"Someone moved my milk pitcher to the wrong side of the machine and my phone dropped in while I was trying to use it. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Ask Gwen - she was the last to try to use it."

Ianto grinned to himself. "I'll be sure to bring it up when she gets back.

"See you later - Tic - say 'bye'..." In the background, Ianto could hear a faint childlike 'bye'.

"Bye, boys."

Ianto left Gwen's desk and went back to fix himself a cup of coffee. If that machine was any indication of the state of the rest of the Hub, he was going to busy for most of the day.

Ianto watched out the window as Jack pulled up and parked the car. He had been hesitant to let him take Henry for the day, but it seemed that everything had gone fine – down to Jack getting home exactly when he said he would. Ianto wondered if that meant that he had cut down the list of errands that he had given him. Jack gestured for help with the groceries and Ianto sighed and walked out to get Henry. When he peered in the window at him, however, he was sure that his eyes were playing tricks on him. Upon opening the door, he found that they were not.

"You taped him in. You. Taped. Him. In. Henry is taped into the car seat. Perfectly good restraint system and yet, he IS TAPED IN!" Ianto's voice was frantic and high-pitched and he raked his hand through his hair in frustration.

Jack shrugged, his back still to Ianto. "I couldn't get the damn belt to work. This did."

"What do you mean you couldn't get it to work? Did you even try?" Ianto's tone was even and calm, even with his hands fisted at his sides. "This is the mirror all over again, isn't it, Jack?"

Jack tried to lie, but his voice faltered. "Noooooo..."

Ianto turned away from him and began the task at hand, grumbling under his breath. "Gooey tape mess, just cleaned off the car. Now the boy...at least he's still. Though I should wonder if it isn't almost shock..."

Jack rooted around trying to scoop as many bags as he could manage as he left Ianto to the job of freeing Henry. "Yeah, you do that and I'll take this stuff in..."

Ianto's mood was not improved with every strip of tape that he pulled free. Just when he thought that there was an end in sight, there was one more piece. And one more. And one more still. "Ummmm, Jack?" The tape made first a ripping noise as he pulled it off and then a crinkle noise as he hastily balled it up and flung it to the floor of the SUV. "Jack." Rip. Rip. Rip. Crinkle. Rip. Rip. Crinkle. Rip. "JACK!" Rip. Crinkle. Riiiiip. "The straps are cut." Ianto looked into the worried blue eyes of the toddler, finding that they looked to be filling with tears. "Why are the straps cut, Jack? Why?"

Balancing a large number of bags and the trunk at the same time, he sighed. "Because, Ianto, I couldn't get him out when we stopped at the market. Duh." Jack rolled his eyes. "I taped him back in."

Ianto held his voice as steady as he could. "And so you already ruined the seat at the market. Great work by the way. Thanks for that. Martha will be so pleased she went through the effort to buy this seat for us..." Rip. Rip. Crinkle. Rip. Rip. Rip. Crinkle. He paused to look up at Jack. "But this begs the question -" Ianto kept himself from throwing the ball of tape he held at Jack. "If you cut him out once, why not just do it again? Instead of pulling me all the way down here to witness this atrocity in parenting fail?"

Jack turned away with a mumbled answer. "..."

Ianto threw the tape ball on the floor a little rougher than he meant. "A little louder please, Jack?" He drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.

"I said - because I losttheknifewhen I was taping him back in." Jack smiled at Ianto.

Ianto stepped away from the car and closer to Jack. "You lost...what?"

Jack shrugged, his smile fading a bit. "The knife?"

Ianto got closer still to Jack "You...lost...a...knife?" He could feel his breathing beginning to get shallow. "Where did you lose it?" He was using the voice that chilled Jack to the bones. "Do we need to repeat our safety talk?"

Jack made a vague hand motion in the direction of the backseat. "Somewhere in there." He noticed the look Ianto was giving him and added to it. "And he has a helmet on."

"I noticed the helmet." He hoped that Jack could read the tone for what it was. "Was getting to that. Can we focus on THE KNIFE, JACK?" Rip. Crinkle. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. He glared at the mess that covered the carseat. "Still not seeing it..."

"It's somewhere in there - and I'm reasonably sure it's closed."

Rip. Rip. Ri- "Reasonably sure?"

"Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"About 68%."

"What a coincidence! I'm sixty-eight percent sure that I'm not going to kill you..." Rip. Rip. Rip.

Jack's mouth worked like he was a fish out of water. "But I remembered the helmet. Isn't that important?"

"And why did he need the helmet? If you would only drive like a normal person his head would have been perfectly secure!" Ianto could see the moisture flying from his lips and dared Jack to say anything with a well-placed look.

"Because he kept bashing into things with his head. My driving had nothing to do with it."

"This time..." Ianto took the helmet off a big-eyed almost whimpering Henry. "I think I can pull him out now..." He gave a firm tug to the toddler, expecting it to be a little tough as he was still somewhat attached to the seat. "DAMN IT!" He grabbed his finger and held it away from his body, glaring at Jack. "Reasonably sure, huh? Sixty-eight percent?"

"Oops." Jack started for Ianto's finger, but was pushed away. "Maybe that should have been forty-three?" Ianto fixed on what Jack lovingly and privately referred to as a 'deadpan stare of death' as he drew in yet another deep breath. "Let's go clean it up." Ianto's eyes didn't move. "You aren't that mad are you?" No change in Ianto's look made Jack continue. "I mean, Henry is fine."

"Do you think you can get Henry up there without destroying anything?"

"That's not fair..."

"Not fair? Why is that too much to ask? Wouldn't want you to strain yourself as I STAND HERE BLEEDING!"

Jack smiled weakly and scooped up Henry. "I can kiss it better?"

Ianto merely blinked at that response. "You owe me, Jack. You owe Henry."

Jack leaned to put an arm around Ianto. "Really, I am sorry. I couldn't think of any other way - that damn seat was too hard to get him in and out of." He was using every charm he could on the other man. It appeared to be working. "And the helmet looked cute."

Ianto turned a smile toward Henry with a ruffle to his hair. "Sweet little boy...Why don't we go upstairs and you can tell me all the things you and Tac got up to today." He smiled over at Jack, softening a bit at the sight of Jack and the boy. "And, Jack? I've seen you master 942 types of alien tech, yet you can't use a child seat?" Jack smiled wanly. "And here I thought you were good with restraints..."

"All those fasteners! I've seen less complicated torture devices!" Ianto raised his eyebrows a little. Jack wasn't sure if it was in interest or not. He wiggled his own in return. "I could show you later, maybe?" Ianto looked at Jack, but it was apparent he was thinking. Jack was sure he had cracked his bad mood. "Well? Or are you that mad?"

Ianto showed him the hurt hand to remind him. "Let's go, we'll talk about it upstairs."

***

Ianto opened the front door with a flourish worthy of Jack Harkness himself. "So sorry about that! Emergency back at the hub…"

"Hey! I'm not there - that must be the emergency," Jack laughed as he came out of the kitchen drying his hands.

"No Jack, that isn't it, exactly, but it doesn't bear mentioning. Everything's in hand now." Jack quirked a smile at him and Ianto forced an automatic blush back from where it came. "It seems someone didn't put a certain bit of tech away when he was done with it. There may or may not have been a smallish fire resulting."

"Ahhh, my bad." Jack flashed his best 'forgive me' smile.

Ianto all but groaned. "Yes 'your bad', but thanks to the brilliance of MOST of the team, it's all fine now."

Jack held a hand over his heart in an attempt to seem sincere. "You hurt me, Ianto Jones."

"Not yet, Captain Harkness." He ignored the look he was getting from the other man. "If the fire had spread to section 2 of the basement - then I would have hurt you."

"What's in section 2 of the basement?"

"You should know, you were poking around down there."

"Was I?"

"All I have to say is that my book better be intact when I get back. And what were you hoping to scan anyway? All the porn is in Section 7.3."

Ianto watched Jack mentally catalogue what he had said before the man spoke. "Right. Now, are we leaving today or what?"

Ianto looked at the bags by the door. "Well, let's see...I think we have everything..."

"Snacks?"

"We don't need snacks"

"I do."

"I picked up this sandwich on the way over, take it then." Ianto held out a paper-wrapped parcel. "I ate yesterday. I'll be fine." Once the sandwich had been passed, he patted Jack on the arm with a small smile. "I know it's been at least 2 hours since YOU ate."

"That's not nice." Jack sniffed the sandwich, eyeing Ianto.

"It's a perfectly good sandwich."

Jack shrugged. "I guess I have to trust you…"

Ianto snatched the sandwich back. "Never mind! Would hate for you to lower yourself to eat my lunch."

"No, no - I'll eat it." Jack reached for it, but Ianto held it just out of reach.

"No! It's okay, I'll eat it…" Ianto took a hearty bite and made a face of pure satisfaction. Jack watched him with a forced pout. "Fine," Ianto sighed out before tearing the sandwich in half and giving Jack the half with the bite taken out.

Jack deepened his pout. "You took a bite right here."

"Do you want any or not?"

"Yes."

"Then I suggest you eat...but..." Ianto checked his watch.

"Wait. Are we still talking about the sandwich?" At a glare from Ianto, Jack crammed the half sandwich into his mouth and chewed.

"I know you have a big mouth, but did you have to do that? You could choke! Then again, I guess no crumbs in the car is best…"

Jack talked around a mouthful of bread, crumbs spraying as he spoke. "We're taking the SUV right?"

Ianto hefted the familiar overnight bag on his shoulder. "Nope. SUV is official equipment, needs to stay."

Jack, groaned, picking up the other bag at his feet. "But we're going on official business."

"But the Unit team will need it." Ianto threw a garment bag over his shoulder as well. "They're flying in." Ianto checked his watch again. "Actually they should be arriving any second…"

"But I like the SUV - it has DVD players." Jack took his coat from a nearby hook.

"You won't have time for DVDs anyway. 'Commando Frogs' will have to wait." Ianto twisted the knob in his hand and looked to make sure they weren't forgetting anything.

"There's always time for 'Prince Speed and the Commando Frogs'!" Jack laughed as if it were absurd to think otherwise.

"Not this time, we need to go over those notes." The key turning in the deadbolt made a satisfying click.

"What notes?" Jack stalked to the car and opened the door to throw the bag in the backseat, noticing the carseat still in the back, straps now dangling free, duct tape littering the floor.

"The notes that I spent most of yesterday compiling with Martha's help? The notes that you should have been making all along?" Ianto leaned in to hang his suits and put his own bag in, taking the time to brush against Jack as he did so. Jack smiled slightly at him, unable to take his eyes away.

"Ianto," Martha called over the comms. "The UNIT team has arrived on the Plass."

"Got you loud and clear, Miss Jones. UNIT clearance is granted," Ianto used his official voice, knowing they would be listening, then turned to Jack, covering his earpiece with one hand. "We should be clear to leave now. Unless you want to give them any last instructions?"

Jack waved the suggestion off. "Who makes notes when they have a memory like mine?"

"Ah yes. You are famous for your memory. What was that drug again?" Ianto pretended to think. Jack growled by way of answer. "What's this on the tire? ANOTHER CLAMP? God, Jack this is the last time I let you drive my car!" Ianto took something from his pocket and tossed the keys to Jack.

Jack looked at the metal on the tire, confused. "Hey! That wasn't me - it must have been PC Wannabe. How in the hell did they work out it was your car?"

"Good thing this fell through the rift," Ianto muttered. "Best master key a person could ask for." He turned his face to Jack. "Maybe the fact that you spent the day driving it around and parking wherever you pleased?" Jack almost looked sorry. "Plus a child seat with cut straps tends to draw attention."

"I said I was sorry…" Jack scuffed at the ground with the toe of his boot.

"You might want to pass that along to Martha." Ianto stood and brushed the dirt from his pants.

Jack looked scared. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

"Well I did have to ask her where she got it! We needed a replacement." He kicked at the metal that now hung from the tire. "Which, by the way, she's sending home with Gwen, so no worries there."

Jack ran a hand through his hair. "She's going to kill me." He tossed the keys back to Ianto.

Ianto laughed a bit under his breath. "She won't kill you, but...maybe you should buy her something pretty?" He caught the keys and tossed them back to Jack as if they were on fire.

"I could put a bow around my neck?" Jack caught the keys without thinking. "What do I do with these?"

"I said something pretty." The Welshman opened the passenger side door and slid into the seat. "And you put them in the ignition and turn."

Jack poked his head in the door before Ianto could close it. "You want ME to crank the car for YOU?"

"No Jack." Ianto closed the door. "I want you to crank the car for yourself. You do know how to crank for yourself right?"

Jack's response was an eyebrow wiggle as he went around to the driver's seat.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Would you like me to do your belt for you too?"

"Not if you want to get there tonight..."

"Do you at least have the GPS?" Jack adjusted himself in the seat and messed with the mirrors for a moment before putting the key in the ignition.

Impatient, Ianto glared at Jack. "Built in GPS, just tap this." He tapped a recessed button on the dash and a screen came out of the console.

"When did you get that?"

"When I bought the car. Don't tell me...when you were lost you didn't even use it did you? I thought you said it was 'broken'…" He was trying to keep his cool. "I even had it serviced!"

"Yan, how am I supposed to use something that I didn't even know existed?"

"What did you think I meant when I asked if you put the address in correctly?"

"I thought you were asking if I had copied it right." Jack pulled out of the spot and onto the road.

"And if you had followed all the directions?" Ianto busied himself with typing in the address for the meeting and making sure the device was working.

"Then I may have gotten there...but that's beside the point..."

Ianto leaned against the window. "I'm only going to let this go because I'm not sure what the point was anymore." He pulled a leather portfolio from the back seat and opened it, clicking a pen. "Moving on - who exactly is going to be at this meeting?" He scribbled experimentally. "Gwen and Martha couldn't find where you had put the list."

Jack was more than a little huffy in his response. "Point is - why aren't you driving?"

"Because. One of us has to go over this stuff so we appear at least moderately informed at the meeting." He felt as if he were talking to a child, not a grown man who had lived quite a few more years than he appeared. "MOVING ON..."

Jack groaned.

"MOVING. ON." Ianto caught the death glare Jack was giving him out of the corner of his eye. "The list?"

"I have this." Jack reached in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled paper.

Ianto took the offered paper and smoothed it out. "While I agree the lyrics to 'Sugar We're Going Down' are very interesting, I'm not sure what that has to do with who will be at the meeting."

Jack looked reprimanded. "Oops. Wrong one. Then I got nothing - your turn."

Ianto let the air flow freely from his chest. "So you have no idea who will be there? Did you at least read the list before you lost it? ... I hate going into these things blind."

Jack smiled, proud of himself. "Oh, I got that bit memorized."

"And..." Ianto tapped his pen impatiently.

"And?" Jack took his eyes from the road for a moment. "Oh! The list."

Ianto wondered how safe it was to push the driver form a moving vehicle. "Yes, Jack. The list."

"Well, General Horton, for one…"

Ianto put pen to paper. "Yes. And us. Martha obviously. Who else?"

"And Colonel Buchanan…"

"Colonel Buchanan…"

"…Lieutenant Colonel Kemp…" Jack popped the 'p' at the end.

"…Lieutenant Colonel Kemp…" Ianto repeated.

"…Major Price…"

"…Major Price…" Ianto frowned at the paper. "Price...Price...why does that sound familiar?"

"I dunno." Jack stared ahead at the road.

"What division is he from?"

"I don't know - from Torchwood One? I don't even know…"

"No not Torchwood One...hmm..." Ianto bit on the end of his pen without thinking.

"Do you want the rest of the list or not?" Jack snapped. Ianto looked over at him with a slightly murderous expression. Jack didn't waver. "…Sergeant Jones…Colonel Jones…"

"It's good to see such a fine name so well represented."

"What? Jones?"

"Yes, Jones!" Ianto frowned at Jack. "It's a fine name, sure Martha would agree."

"Amazes me how many of you there are..."

"It's our duty to fill the world with our brilliance…" Ianto challenged.

Jack pretended to ignore the man beside him, but looked sideways to catch Ianto looking at him as well. The tire hit a pothole and rocked the car. Ianto's pen left a stray mark on the page and he found himself wishing he had used a pencil instead. He continued his questioning with a frown. "Anyone else you can remember?"

Jack shook his head. "Not really."

Ianto looked over the list in front of him, trying not to focus on the large mark in the middle of it. He decided he would recopy it once they got to the table. "Usual crowd except for these." He tapped the pen on the bottom of the page, careful to use the end without the tip. "Wish I had time to research them…"

"Who?" Jack thought there was nothing odd about the names he had given Ianto.

"Price…Price...sounds so familiar…" Ianto muttered to himself. "I used to know a Price..."

Gwen's voice chirped in their ears, breaking up any further discussion. "Jack? Ianto? Can you hear me or have I not turned the bloody thing on again?"

Jack answered first. "Go on, Gwen."

Ianto's Welsh lilt followed closely. "Yes, Gwen?"

"Oh. It did work! MARTHA! I TURNED IT ON! I swear these things get worse as I go on. Anyway, we have a situation here." Gwen talked so fast that it was almost hard for Jack to follow what she was saying.

Ianto felt his chest tighten at the sound of the word. He began to speak as fast as she had. "A situation already? The fire didn't blaze up again did it?"

"No. No. We have that under con- I mean, no fire! Ummm, anyway, no it's to do with Henry actually,,,"

Jack seemed to be lost in a faded memory. "Actually...back in the old days..."

"Focus, Jack!" Ianto hissed. "Sorry. What's wrong with him, Gwen?" He replayed what she had said in case she had already answered the question. "Fire? Did you say 'fire'? IS HENRY ON FIRE?"

"Ianto, calm down, you said fire," Jack reminded him with a gentle hand on his leg.

Gwen barked into the comm. "Ianto, focus! Henry is not on fire! We are not that incompetent!"

"Right," Ianto smiled a bit at the hand still on his knee. "Sorry, Gwen. You were saying?"

"As I was saying, we may have...I mean it wasn't as if it was long...And Martha said he would be fine..." The Welshwoman had almost begun to stutter.

"You didn't bring him to the Hub did you?" Ianto was guessing by her tone that it was worse than she was saying. His mind jumped back to its first thought. "He is on fire isn't he?"

"No one is on fire!" Gwen screeched down the line. Both Ianto and Jack blinked in pain.

"Why does she get to bring him into the Hub and I don't?" Jack pouted in a low tone.

"NO ONE is allowed to bring Henry into the Hub!" Ianto screeched back, then mumbled for his own benefit. "Why couldn't Mam have just helped me out this once?"

"Because you said they were going on holiday," Jack helpfully supplied.

"They're retired. They could have rescheduled..." Ianto groused back at no one in particular.

"Henry's locked in the cells...and we can't open the door..." Gwen continued, sounding frantic.

Jack snickered, his lips pressed together.

"Why did you let him in the Hub?" His shout was at Gwen, but the accompanying glare was all for Jack. "What part of 'DO NOT TAKE HENRY INTO THE HUB' was unclear to you?"

Jack winced at the mood Ianto was working himself into.

Ianto's eyes went wide. "Where's Janet?"

"Ianto, it was an emergency! The second level of the basement was still on fire! And she's in the cell next to him...not IN the cell with him." Her words were picking up speed again.

Jack tried to be helpful. "Ianto, there's straw in there he can lay on..."

"You said the fire was out! Oh God. How are we going to…Jack, so help me…"

"Don't panic. The fire's out," Gwen reassured him. "But I had to put Henry down. He got into the cells. And they locked him in. How do I open them? We've tried everything!"

Ianto took a deep breath. "Are all the cells locked down? Can you open Janet's or is it stuck also?"

"Relax, they'll get in under control." Jack's hand was back to patting his leg.

"Don't you tell me to relax, Jack Harkness!" Ianto spat back.

"All the cells are locked down," Gwen updated.

"Fuck." Ianto gouged the pen into the paper in front of him, ripping pages under that piece as well. "Okay. Here is what you are going to do. UNIT is there now, right?"

Jack tried to take control. "What's the matter? Can't you use the remote access panel?"

"We tried everything. Every code, every piece of equipment. And don't you think we've tried, Jack!" There was the return of Gwen's panicked pitch.

"They can't just use the panel! All the cells will open at once!" Ianto reminded the two of them, rubbing his eyes hard enough to see vague shapes.

"UNIT is going to love this…" Jack remarked, then caught Ianto's look.

"This wouldn't have happened if someone had been doing weekly maintenance like I told them…"

"Forget about your petty squabbles, I need to open the cells!" How either man could understand her voice at the pitch she had was a mystery.

"So now, Jack, you get to sit there and be quiet while I handle this. Gwen - are you listening?"

"No, I'm listening to Radio 4. OF COURSE I AM!"

"Okay. You and three of the UNIT guys go down to the cells. Bring the weevil spray and a burlap sack.

"Henry is hardly that hard to catch..." Jack stated, earning him yet another death glare.

Gwen hesitated. "I...we can't let them in. They're outside..."

"...sorry..." Jack apologized, clamping his mouth shut.

"What do you mean they're outside?" Ianto clutched the dashboard, his knuckles going white.

"We may have...accidently triggered a lock down..." A timid Welsh voice stated over the comms.

Ianto let go of the dash and gripped Jack's leg, digging in. "Jack - Turn. Us. Around."

Jack shook his head, ignoring the pain. "Can't if we're going to be there on time."

"No, no. Keep going. Look, even if you did come back, there's nothing you can do. No one can get in, no one can get out. Total lock down."

"Oh in that case let's just leave a starving child in the cell all weekend with a drooling weevil leering at him!" Ianto squeezed Jack's leg harder.

Jack let out a little yelp, but continued on course.

"You really think that I'd let him starve, Ianto Jones?"

Jack mumbled around the pain of fingernails breaking skin, even through his trousers. "Unlock button under desk."

Ianto came back to the moment. "What was that, Jack?"

"There's an unlock button under my desk?" Jack winced as Ianto relented in his grip.

"Thank you for some sense, Jack!" The comms went to dead air.

"Thank you for some sense, Jack..." Ianto mocked his co-worker. "If it wasn't for your 'sense' the Hub wouldn't be in the state I found it."

"Hey - there were two women there that helped put it in that state! Why aren't you yelling at them?" Jack defended, rubbing his leg.

'Says the man who started the fire, Jones," Gwen's voice returned. "And don't bring us into this, Harkness!"

"Because one of them has spent the last 2 weeks trying to reverse engineer a compound that I didn't even realize existed," Ianto justified. "And the other one..."

"Is me?" Gwen finished for him.

"Yes, Gwen. Is you. What's the status now?" Ianto patted Jack's leg to apologize.

"UNIT get inside yet? Have you checked to make sure the cells are still locked?"

"I don't know. Martha's gone to check. Look, I'm sorry, ok? I was helping Martha and it got out of hand."

"You can't let him wander," Jack reminded her, trying to shake the feeling that he had said that many times before in another lifetime.

"Check the cells NOW," Ianto commanded. Jack felt a chill up his spine. "If both of them opened up..." He turned to the window, hand over his face, whispering in a prayer-tone, "Please let them be locked down…please let them be locked down…"

"Ianto Jones, quit panicking!"

Jack gave Ianto a genuine look of concern.

"I'll panic if I want to, Gwen Williams!"

"I'm not going to let anything or anyone harm a hair on that child's head!"

"Gwen. Cells. CHECK THEM." He was starting to shake.

"I would," Jack advised, rubbing the back of Ianto's neck with one hand.

"I AM BLOODY CHECKING THE CELLS!"

Ianto allowed his head to loll towards Jack. "Are you sure she's okay to keep him all weekend?"

"Rhys is there," Jack reminded him.

"It's only been an hour and she's nearly turned him into weevil bait!" Ianto tensed under Jack's fingers.

"Fine. I'll leave him outside for the UNIT guys," Gwen countered.

"GWEN. THE CELLS." Jack wasn't sure if she noticed that as the growling and cub-protecting tone that it was. Jack sure had. "Where is Henry? Has Janet gotten out? FOCUS!"

"SHUT UP! Henry's been eaten by Janet."

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" Ianto suddenly and without warning, grabbed the wheel and twisted into oncoming traffic to try and turn around. Jack slapped his hand away and controlled the car safely to the side of the road.

"Yes, he's been eaten and now Janet's attacking Martha…"

"Gwen, that's not nice. Ianto's really panting here." Jack worried out loud, eyes fixed on his boyfriend. "And not in the way I like him to."

"… And I'm just sat here, watching Eastenders…"

"Jack, pull over. I changed my mind - I'll drive." Ianto spoke mechanically, staring fixedly ahead, not realizing that they had already stopped. "Get out. I'll move over."

Afraid that Ianto would drive off and leave him if he got out, Jack ignored the order. "No. Not in that state. You want to go back? I'll go back."

"Would you look at that? Now Janet's attacking the UNIT guys…"

"AND I'M SURE YOU'RE EATING BLOODY POPCORN!" Ianto looked like he was dangerously close to having a stroke.

"No, sweets. Much better."

"She's fed the boy to a weevil! OF COURSE I WANT TO GO BACK! I'M GOING TO KILL HER!" He messed up his hair and lashed out, hitting whatever his fists could connect with. His voice, rough and small, he spoke to the air around him. "Kenneling him would have been safer."

"Gwen, really. Please don't. Ianto is fondling his stun-gun here. And that isn't a euphemism."

"I'd like to see you try. Look, you idiot. Henry's bloody fine. I've got him right here. We're in Jack's office. He's drawing on paper."

Ianto seized on hope. "Let me talk to him!"

"Fine. "

"Henry, you okay?" The Welshman held his breath, waiting to hear the small voice.

"Yeth?" came the small, lisping reply.

Ianto let out the breath he was holding. "Did the monster get you, Tic? No not her. She just has big eyes. She's not a real monster."

"Cheeky sod. I can hear you, you know."

"I need you to do me a favor, okay buddy?" He could hear the sound of Henry's hair rubbing the phone, indicating a nod form the boy. "You be a good boy and listen to the big eyed lady. But if she takes you back there make sure you yell and get the lorry man, okay?"

Jack tried to hold in a giggle, but it came out as a snort. Ianto glared at him and them his face softened.

"That's right. You won't be sorry with a Harwood's Lorry!"

"Better now?" Jack pulled him as close as he could manage.

Gwen groaned audibly.

"And Gwen?"

"What?"

"Now that you aren't protecting the Hub from an invasion of people that were called in to help...do you think you could take Henry home with you?"

"I don't know, I think Rhys has got the Elton John songs out...I think that's scarier than Janet." She put a little smile in her voice as an apology.

"Can I suggest the helmet now?" Jack whispered.

"Can I suggest a taser to the head?"

"Gwen, get dinner on the company card..." Jack offered to end any further conversation.

"Gwen? I know where you live and I've heard how deeply you sleep. Keep these things in mind."

"There's a company card? And how can I bloody sleep with all this work, Jones?"

Jack blinked, confused. "When have you slept with Gwen? Is this a good story? Was it while I was gone?"

"Why did you tell her about the card?" Ianto hissed. "And I never slept with Gwen. It's called a bluff."

"Dammit. Don't get my hopes up like that." Jack sulked a bit. "There, uh, is a charge at the takeaway on the corner. Use that."

"And here's a hint - it's not under Torchwood, Gwen."

"It's under Dorian Gray!" Jack laughed.

"If anyone sleeps heavily, it's Rhys. And anyway, I wouldn't sleep with Ianto. He's been tainted by you."

Ianto snorted. "Like I'd have you, Gwen."

"Dorian Gray? That's funny. When did you do that?" Ianto smiled for the first time. Jack felt himself be able to breathe.

"Last week, you like that?"

"I do, actually. But remember you're supposed to tell me when you do that stuff, so you don't' forget later and yell when the bills come." Ianto got out his pen and portfolio and make note of the change.

Jack was quiet for a minute. "I would have slept with her." Ianto whipped his head up from the page her was writing on. "Just sayin'..."

"You would have Gwen? Even after...never mind." Ianto noticed he was gripping his pen a bit too tightly. "Gwen? Still there?"

"Shut up, Jack. Rhys would kill you. And probably try and make it permanent. And what's that, Jones? After what?"

"After..." Ianto struggled for the words. "After you have shown yourself to be such a valuable member of the team? That it would be rude to use you as a sex object?" He turned to whisper to Jack, has hand over the comms. "Think she's buying this?"

Jack shrugged and started making hissing noises and tapping the comm in his ear. "YOU'RE BREAKING UP - GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL!" He ripped a part off the paper Ianto was writing on, making him growl. Crinkling it, Jack continued. "WE'LL CALL WHEN WE GET THERE!"

"Yes, because that's your job? And yeah right! These things go through tunnels, Jack!"

"GET HENRY OUT OF THE HUB!"

"He's out of the Hub. And I swear you lot think I'm an idiot."

"No more than you think I am…" Jack muttered.

"Says the girl that can't work the comms on her own after how many years?" Ianto shot back.

"Many years. If someone wouldn't keep buying the newest tech every week…I can tell when someone's lying to me though. Can't I, Jack?"

"Ouch, children." Jack started the car again.

"Has Martha left yet?"

"Martha's left already."

"Never mind then."

"Good choice." Jack patted Ianto's leg again.

"You're a bloody ass, Ianto Jones. And Jack, stay away from him. You might get it bitten off!"

"It would only grow back, Gwen. Have a good weekend!"

"Yes, we're going bungee jumping off the Severn Bridge!"

"Make sure Henry wears a helmet!"

Ianto looked as if his head were going to explode. "I'm calling Mam. This is an emergency. She has to understand."

"You think she'll come off her holiday?"

"Jack! This is an emergency. There are literal fires that need to be put out!" He pulled the comm from his ear and dropped it to the floor, resisting the urge to stomp on it. "Fires, Jack. Flames. And weevils!"

"Calm down - lord knows why she likes to rile you like that."

Ianto acted as if he hadn't heard. "And it's only been," he checked his watch, "37 minutes! Thirty-seven minutes, Jack! By the time we get back Cardiff will be in ruins!" He ran his hand through his hair again.

"It'll be fine - but if you want to talk to Mam..."

"Just let me see if Martha answered my message yet." Ianto produced his new phone and punched a few buttons before tuning it over and shaking it. Finding Jack peeking at him, he explained. "I miss my phone, this one is all wonky."

"What happened to it?" Jack looked at the GPS, thinking that it seemed much longer than he remembered.

"My phone? Well...there was an incident…" Ianto finally called up the waiting message and read it to himself. "Hmmm...She says she doesn't know a Major Price either...strange."

"Do I even want to know? And why are you on about Major Price?"

"No you don't." Ianto sent a message back to Martha. "And I like to know everything...this is unsettling." He pushed 'send' and frowned at Jack. "Like it's on the edge of my mind, but I just can't quite..."

Jack smiled to himself at the determination Ianto had. "You'll find out when we get there."

Ianto shook his head to clear it. "Never mind. Lot to cover anyway."

"You probably talked to her one time - over the comms or something."

"Did you remember to fax in our report on the drug?" Ianto flipped through the portfolio. "Couldn't find the transmit sheet on the machine."

"Yes. Actually, Martha did. And tucked the copy into her fancy notebook that she doodled little hearts and 'Mrs. The Doctor' on." Jack chuckled.

"Mrs. The Doctor...hmmm...interesting. So there's that sorted. Ummm..."

"Well, I made her mark out the 'Mrs. Jack Harkness' that used to be there. Told her my heart only belonged to you…"

He obviously rolled his eyes. "I'm sure. Did you hear back from any of our contacts on the other missing person's cases?"

Jack shook his head. "Nothing. It's really starting to bother me."

"Me too. It's probably good that we are all getting together. Pooling resources and all that. Make sure you pay attention this time, yeah?"

"Why do you always say that? I pay attention just fine."

Ianto blinked slowly. "You always pay attention? Like the time you suggested we 'bomb em all' when the topic was the redec in the meeting hall?"

"So I dozed! You were the one who kept me up the night before!"

"Of course. That couldn't have had anything to do with your game of hide and seek going into triple overtime."

"What can I say? I'm a good hider."

"True. The best hiders always wave their hands around whilst shouting 'OVER HERE, OVER HERE'!"

"You love me for it." He flashed a quick smile. "So..."

"Maybe. So we are agreed that you'll pay attention this time? I'm sick of the confusion over who is in charge at these deals."

"I have it all here," Jack tapped his temple. "I know who I outrank."

"In reality or in your mind? Your rank is a touch outdated, after all…"

Jack's answering glare was met with Ianto's biggest smile.

"I am a Captain in the RAF. SEE THE STRIPES?"

"Hey it's your fault for telling that one secretary you were the 'captain of sexy'. She actually put that in her report for UNIT!"

"She didn't! Though, that DOES explain that one email..."

"She did. And you didn't tell me about any email."

"It wasn't important."

Ianto gave a speculative look. "Huh."

Jack felt the need to explain. "It was a picture - and not a flattering one..."

"Well I'll be sure to have a word with her if she's at this meeting too. Very unprofessional."

"That's my protector..."

"Just being useful, sir." Ianto grinned at the paper before him. Distracted by the beep of his phone, Ianto looked down. *If a kid falls off a cliff, they bounce back right? * He turned the phone to show Jack. "Tell me you haven't put her up to this?"

"Me?"

Another beep from the phone. *Nvm. they don't. *

Ianto's fingers flew over the keys. *As of further notice please cease all paychecks issued to the name Gwen Williams (nee Cooper). She is no longer among us.* He smiled a satisfied and smug grin and went back to the texting feature. *Sorry, Gwen. Disregard. Meant to send that elsewhere.*

"What did you answer?"

Before the Welshman could answer, his phone beeped again. *Don't worry. Have the card and the SUV. *

Ianto frowned. *Cancelling card and PC Andy will be there for the SUV* After sending the text to Gwen, he composed one for Andy. *Keep an eye on Gwen yeah? Thanks*

"GLENDA!" Jack barked out suddenly, making Ianto jump and almost drop his cell.

Ianto looked up quickly. "Mam? Where?" He was drawn back by a beep. *What's he going to do to little old me? I'm torchwood, after all. *

Jack shook his head. "Not Mam…"

Beep. *Why? Andy*

*Andy: Gwen + Henry = need I say more?*

"That's Major Price's name."

"Glenda Price?" Beep. *Yes. Andy* "That's weird. Didn't think that was such a common name." *Just do it, please? TW will owe you one. I know how you'd like that.*

Beep. *I'm definitely not doing it now. Andy*

"What's so odd about it?"

"It's just that...never mind…" Beep. *Ianto...is there any reason UNIT are calling me? Just curious. Not the ones in the hub. * Ianto slipped his phone closed and went back to the portfolio. "We have a lot to cover here."

Jack sighed, letting his shoulders slump. "Right. What else?"

Ianto turned the phone so Jack could see the last text from Gwen. "You know anything about that?"

Jack shrugged. "Ask her to answer - could be Martha's direct line? Checking to see we are on course and not, ahem, stopped for refreshments?"

The comm fizzled to life once again. "Jack? Ianto?"

"Here," Jack sighed as he motioned for Ianto to pick up his earpiece and put it back.

"UNIT said that you are over three hours late." Gwen informed them.

That made Ianto look up. "Yeah, Gwen? This better not be another joke."

"I'm not joking."

He looked sharply at the man driving. "I thought you said the meeting was this afternoon, Jack!" He went back to the notes he had in front of him. "Says 2 pm right there?"

"They weren't happy…" Gwen relayed.

"That's what they said," Jack frowned, trying to remember. "It's what I wrote down."

"What did you tell them, Gwen?" He frantically checked the remaining distance on the GPS. "We're still 1/2 hour out…"

"I said that Jack said it was 2pm. Then they said, well, that's Harkness for you, not getting the right times. We said 10am."

"They never said 10!"

"Apparently they sent you an email this morning."

Ianto tried to figure it out. "Well we would have been 1/2 hour early if someone had taken down the message right…" He tried not to glare at Jack. "Have they started without us?"

"I don't know. They sounded annoyed. They said that they are getting very impatient and are beginning to regret inviting you…"

"I hate when people start without me..." Jack muttered, facing away from Ianto.

"I hate when people finish without me," Ianto countered.

"Too much info, Ianto…"

"Sorry, Gwen." Ianto said, his tone conveying otherwise.

"I don't need to know your sex life. I walked in on it once. That was enough."

"You could have walked out quicker," Ianto teased. "Don't think I didn't see that camera flash."

"I remember lingering eyes..." Jack added.

"A little gasp..." Ianto continued, placing a hand on Jack's leg and smiling.

"I was kinda stunned that you were doing it in the bloody hot house, to be honest!" Gwen shrieked.

Ianto winked. "We put the 'hot' in hot house…"

"That we do! Think we could do that again?" Jack covered Ianto's hand with his.

"ANYWAY," Gwen yelped. "You need to call UNIT…"

Ianto mouthed 'later Jack' and squeezed his leg. "Okay. Thanks for the update. I'll call into the meeting, Jack you call Martha let her know we're late?"

"Ouch. Okay - call Martha. Can do," Jack offered.

"Once they realize the amount of research we've got hopefully it will smooth things over." Ianto supposed.

"I'll see you later. I'm off to go clubbing with Rhys..." Gwen put in one last jab.

Ianto's hand tensed again. "I'm going to club you, Gwen!"

Jack couldn't stop himself form making random club mix noises, which prompted Ianto to do an impromptu seat dance. The men smiled at each briefly. Beep. *You owe me big time, Torchwood. I am not your personal nanny. Andy*

Jack flipped open his phone and called out to it. "Martha Jones." Once it had dialed, he patched it into the comms. "Hello, sexy. What is all this about being late? Ianto? Yeah, he's here. Hang on." Jack tapped Ianto's leg to get his attention from the text was typing. "I've got Martha - patch in..."

*Next weevil hunt you'll hear from us.* Ianto finished up his text and hit send. "Yes, Martha?"

Beep. *You're on. Andy.*

Ianto chuckled to Jack. "Andy wants to hunt weevils with us next time."

"Oh, I'm up for a weevil hunt..." Jack laughed at the obvious reference that had escaped Andy.

Martha's voice rang into their ears. "Go, Ianto."

"Did you get any email about a time change for the meeting?"

"No, on my way now."

"Apparently we're 3 hours late." He checked the GPS again. "We're about 20 minutes out. You?"

"I'd say 45 at least. Had to stop for a drink."

"Draw straws to see who calls in with ETA's?"

"I'll do it - you need to go over the notes still, I bet."

Ianto laughed. "You know it, Martha. Thanks. Hopefully that's the last surprise of the day..."

• Main Torchwood slash page
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