Title: Happy To Be Stuck With You
By: clockstopper
Word Count: 2617
Rating: PG-13
Summary: This is how their first date goes.
Warnings/Spoilers: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang obviously. I hope everyone in America that hasn't had the chance to be pirates, has seen it now. Because really lovely episode.
Author's Notes: Written for el_gilliath's bday, which granted was almost exactly two weeks ago, but I'm slow and I had to be sure I had voices right and I'm still kind of shaky on that. Owen's perfect though. Gotta write more fic about Owen. Title taken from some song I heard in Sears while on my break. I thought it had to be the worst and corniest love song ever, so naturally I had to use it as a title for a fic.

This is how there first date goes.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Perfectly.” Ianto says, teeth gritted and he wants to yell at Jack for asking such a stupid question.

“Sorry it’s just so… I mean it’s a tight fit. Just trying to do anything to keep my mind off of the situation.”

Ianto nods as much as he can anyway. He is practically straddling Jack’s lap, face impossibly close to Jack’s, breathing in the same air and he knows that if he moves his head back too much, he’ll bang it against the wall.

He takes a deep breath.

“Well this is wonderful.” He mutters.

“We have the most perfect timing.” Jack says.

In the low light, Ianto can see the nervous smirk on Jack’s face.

“Should’ve known that we couldn’t have possibly gone on an actual normal date like normal people.”

“We aren’t normal.”

“Which is why this would have never worked out.”

Jack tenses. Ianto can feel it considering they’re so cramped, the space being so tight.

“I didn’t mean it that way.” Ianto mutters.

“Oh?” Jack says.

Ianto notes the hopeful, innocent, nonchalant tone in Jack’s voice. It’s a different side of Jack that he keeps seeing when they’re presented with these kinds of situations. Stuck together and questioning their relationship, whatever kind it is they have.

“I meant it’s perfect really. Our first date getting crashed by unruly aliens. Us getting stuck in this… is this a storage closet?”

“I’m not sure.” Jack says.

He’s grinning again. That grin that shows his lines but still looks unbelievably beautiful on his face.

“Well wherever it is we’re stuck. Waiting for the rest of the team to bust to the daring rescue because the door got jammed.”

“That’s perfect?”

Ianto smiles.

“For us anyway.”

“It was good up until this point.”

“The dinner was fantastic really.”

“Yeah, though at this point I don’t think we’re going to make the movie.”

“Doesn’t really matter in the long run.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you hot?”

Unbearably so, he wants to say because he’s in his usual suit and tie and they’re crammed in a space no bigger than a box and he’s sitting in Jack’s lap. Jack, who’s not known for his ability to sit still and even with Ianto’s weight on him, he’s still finding a way to squirm a little bit. And Jack’s not wearing the big coat, which must make this whole ordeal a lot less hot for him.

“A little. But I can’t really move my arms much without possibly elbowing you in the nose.”

He doesn’t know why sliding into this tight place had seemed like such a good idea at the time. He thinks it has something to do with the fact that they were being chased by weevils and it hadn’t much mattered where they were going to hide as long as they did hide.

So they’d ducked in and Jack had closed the door behind them and they’d waited until the coast had been clear and then Jack had tried to open the door.

And that’s when they found out that it wouldn’t open.

“Sorry I didn’t check it before. I know this isn’t comfortable.”

“It’s alright Jack.”

“Nothing like a nicely cooled movie theater though, right. God, I’d been looking forward to that too. As much as offices are exotic to me, movie theaters have that same feel. First dates, nervous glances, paying more attention to the person sitting next to you then to the movie, hands brushing when someone reaches for the popcorn.”

His hands brush under Ianto’s jacket, strong and firm, caressing above his shirt, fingers lingering a bit on his tie. Ianto doesn’t mean to sigh, doesn’t mean to moan and lean into it.

“Jack.”

“You’re hot. I’m just taking off your jacket.”

His hands follow his words, slow and caressing more than he has to if he’s just trying to take off Ianto’s jacket, but he does. The jacket slides down his shoulder and Jack keeps touching him, moving until it’s off and Ianto’s still really hot, but he’s not sure if that’s because of his clothing and the small space or because of Jack.

He really wishes they hadn’t decided to sit, but they’d radioed the team and Gwen had said Tosh said it was going to take awhile to find them and to get comfortable.

She may have been giggling, Ianto’s not really sure.

Standing had gotten tiring easily, especially since they’d just been running for their lives. They’re been enough room for them to stand, but not enough for to grown men to sit with their legs out, either next to each other or on the opposite side.

They’d tried cross legged for awhile, but Jack’s knees kept cracking. Ianto had said they should stand.

This had been Jack’s solution.

“I’d kind of planned it too.”

“Planned what?” Ianto asks, voice breathy and a bit shaky.

“How the night was gonna go. You know complete with the whole hands brushing in the popcorn thing. We were gonna go for a little walk, hands brushing still…”

“Sounds like you have a bit of a hand fetish as well.” Ianto says.

Jack smirks. His hands loosen Ianto’s tie until he’s pulling it off and throwing it somewhere in the room next to bleach and brooms and whatever else.

Ianto resolutely does not whimper.

“I was gonna walk you back to the SUV, hand in hand. Was gonna drive you back to your place and walk you to your door.”

He can picture it, Jack’s nervous energy, cracking sly jokes and all the while he’s fidgeting.

“Get a kiss out of you.”

He’s unbuttoning Ianto’s shirt, finger moving through the buttons and whispering against his skin.

“Just kiss?”

“Well I didn’t want to assume anything.” Jack says, chuckling just a bit.

He feels Jack lean into him, lips brushing against the heated skin of Ianto’s neck. He’s pressing Ianto close to him, hand’s clutching at Ianto’s back and this shouldn’t be so good. They’re trapped in a small closet on their would be first date and Ianto hadn’t planned on doing the sex thing tonight.

Because they’ve done the sex thing before and it had been utterly, mind melting amazing, sure, but he wants this date, he wants dates and he doesn’t think it’s selfish of him to want that. Doesn’t think it makes him prudish or anything.

Except Jack’s really good with his hands and his tongue.

“Really.”

“I wouldn’t presume to think you were that kind of boy.”

“Considering all the sex we’ve had.”

“Has been that much.”

“Eight times.”

Jack pulls away.

“You’ve kept track.”

“You’ve kissed me twenty times.”

“Ianto…”

“Is it so wrong to want to go on a first date and it actually be like a first date? No aliens and all the hand brushing that you described. You know, something we could both remember fondly. We’ve done everything a bit backwards up until this point and I just wanted…”

Jack pulls him down, lips brushing against lips and it’s a bit hard at first, but then it’s soft. Soft and warm and inviting and he can forget that they’re supposed to be on a date and things are supposed to be going a certain way or about the million other reasons they shouldn’t be on a date and doing this.

It doesn’t seem to matter when Jack’s kissing him.

“That’s twenty-one.”

“Jack.”

“The first time was after the run in with the crazy country folk. Owen got done patching you up, patching everyone up and they’d all gone home and you were still there filling out reports. I told you to go home, you argued with me and you were freaking out a little, I think, so I grabbed you and I was just going to hug you, but then…”

“You kissed me.”

“I hadn’t meant to.”

“I wanted you to.”

He remembers, remembers Jack being so close and he’d smelled like grass and the country, but also something else. Something store bought, like cologne, but it had fit on him. He’d smelled like Jack and he’d wanted it, had wanted something to remind him that he hadn’t died, that he wasn’t going to die.

“See, we don’t need a first date to have fond memories.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“Because… because it seemed right.”

Ianto bites his lip.

“Look, I’m not good at dating. It’s not exactly a thing where I come from, but it’s a thing here and I get that. Dates can be fun.”

“They can.” Ianto nods.

“And part of me wanted it to. I mean you’re right. We have done everything completely backwards. The sex… well the word amazing comes to mind.”

“Hmm. Most of the time.”

Jack frowns.

“Most of the time?”

“Let’s not dwell on it.”

“Well the previously mentioned most of the time amazing sex is… amazing, but dating… it’s not something I’ve done much before. I tried, but… it wasn’t who I was.”

“And it all of a sudden is now.”

“I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that maybe… maybe I could change.”

He doesn’t sound sure and Ianto frowns. Jack’s not one someone would classify as monogamous, Ianto knows this, but he’s tried and considering their run in with Captain John and all the innuendoes he made, Ianto thinks he’s a lot better at it then he’d been before.

“Don’t do it for me.”

Because they’re not hearts and flowers. Ianto’s had that and with Lisa it had been fine. With Lisa it had been birds appearing whenever she’d been there and her smile lighting up the room. It had been precious moments and lazy Sunday afternoons and it had been that perfect love story that everyone dreams about and not everyone gets.

Ianto’s had it and he thinks maybe Jack’s had it a few times and they both recognize it enough to know that it’s not them.

They’re passion and fire and sarcastic comments over hot brewing coffee. They’re amazing sex with banter afterwards and it’s not comfortable, but it’s familiar in some odd way that Ianto doesn’t want to go into.

What he has with Jack is some mutated form of a one night stand that just wouldn’t end, friends with benefits turned into dating buddies apparently.

“I’m not. I’m doing it because of me.”

“Well that’s good.”

“Not to say that you hadn’t factored into the equation.”

“Well I’m easy like that.”

He means for it to be a joke, but then Jack’s face is serious and he shakes his head.

“No, Ianto, you’re not easy. Nothing about this is easy.”

He wants to question what Jack means by that, but then Jack’s kissing him, warm press of lips and it means something, means whatever and he doesn’t care because they’re both trying here and that’s what counts.

That’s all that counts.

His fingers brush Jack’s face, Jack’s cheek and Jack pulls away until Ianto can see his eyes. He doesn’t know how his eyes had gotten adjusted so quickly to the darkness.

“I want the ideal with you too, you know.”

“With me or just in general.”

Jack smirks.

“Ianto, there’s no one I’d rather be in this position with then with you. I wanted to do things right. After all our first couple of first times haven’t been…”

“They were nice.”

“But not perfect.”

“Nothing’s perfect.” Ianto says with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, you’re right. At least they were us, right.”

“No one I’d rather be stuck here with.”

“And at least you’ve been conscious for most of our kisses.”

Ianto frowns and he opens his mouth to say something more, but it’s quashed by Jack’s mouth on his, persistent and needy, taking and Ianto can do the make out thing.

He likes the make out thing.

He likes it even more when it’s with Jack and he’s pushing Jack’s braces down and unbuttoning Jack’s shirt and they shouldn’t be doing this here because it’s small and they don’t really have anything and the team could be there any second, but making out is better with there’s groping.

Jack taught him that one.

So he gropes, touches Jack wherever he can reach and Jack’s finger trail up his back, feathery soft, the perfect counterpoint to his kisses and Ianto groans. Groans and arches against Jack’s fingers and he may thrust his hips a bit, but that can’t be helped considering that he’s sitting in Jack’s lap.

And that’s how the team finds them.

“Buggerin’ hell. You two get chased down by weevils and decide that it’s the perfect time to go groping about in a storage closet.”

Ianto groans and pulls away, forehead resting against the side of Jack’s face and he can just feel Jack smiling because Jack has no shame about these things. Ianto’s starting not to care as well, but there’s a difference between sly innuendoes and sarcastic comments and your whole team walking in on you groping the boss.

“Hey kids. Have any trouble finding us?” Jack says.

“You cheeky bastard. We should’ve just left you in there. Getting your rocks off while the girls get all worked up and worried.”

“It’s not like I planned this.” Jack says.

Ianto bites his lip and lifts his head. He doesn’t want to see Gwen’s face or Tosh’s round eyes or the put upon expression Owen’s sporting. He pouts a bit because this is supposed to be his first date, not some group meeting.

“We found you pretty easily. Your coordinates weren’t all that hard to pinpoint. We just had a long drive from the Hub.” Tosh says, finally finding her voice.

Her eyes are still very impossibly large.

“Great, well, I guess we should be going. Thanks for opening the door.”

“Oh, it didn’t take much.” Gwen says.

“It was stuck.” Ianto says.

“Locked from the outside, mate. We just unlocked it. Though we wouldn’t have if we’d known the both of you were trying to get a leg over.”

“Hey, now, none of that. What’s done is done and, hey, Ianto and I still may be able to catch that movie. So thanks.”

“Good for you.” Gwen says.

It sounds forced, but still pleasant.

They all stand there for a few moments before Owen shakes his head and makes his way back to whatever vehicle they’ve taken. Gwen follows, face down though she does give Ianto a small smile. Tosh is last and she blushes and scurries off.

“So… movie.”

“I think we just might make it. The late showing anyway.”

He’s buttoning up his shirt, pulling up his braces and Ianto follows suit, buttoning up his shirt and reaching around until he has his jacket and tie in hand.

“Well I’m not sure. I have this boss, see, and he likes his coffee ready first thing in the morning. He’s a bit of a bastard about it actually.”

Jack glares.

“Really?”

“Yes, horrendously so. And he’s a beast if he doesn’t have it. Utterly unmanageable.” Ianto says, smirk playing on his lips.

Jack rolls his eyes and tries to stand, pushing Ianto off of his lap and Ianto scrambles to get up before he falls to the ground. He recovers his footing, Jack grabbing his arm until he’s balanced and standing.

He looks up and sees Jack’s face, smile on his lips and in his eyes and he feels Jack’s hand slither down his arm and grasp Ianto’s hand in his own. He squeezes it and holds on, smile growing wider. Ianto squeezes Jack’s hand back and holds it in his own for awhile.

And that’s how they walk out of the storage closet.