Title: Apologies
Author: cmbfs
Rating: AO
Pairing: Prentiss/JJ & JJ/Will
Summary: Definite SMUT:)

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It was wrong. Being with him was wrong. She knew this. She wasn't in love with him, God, she barely even liked him. It started as something casual, something to get her mind off her. A weekend here and there. Always a clear escape route. Always an excuse to leave. It was changing now, he was changing now. He was becoming clingy and needy. He was wanting more, more than she was willing to give. So she ended it.

 Thinking back on it now, drink in hand, JJ realized he wasn't the only one that had changed. She'd changed too. She'd been living in denial. Denying the instant attraction she had felt for her. Ignoring it, pretending it wasn't real. The harder she tried to push it away, the more obvious it became. The more cases they worked together the closer they became. It infuriated her, infuriated her that she couldn't control her own feelings. Couldn't compartmentalize them. Couldn't define them.

It had started with looks, lingering glances. Thinking oh I really like her shirt, then progressing to I really love how she fills out her shirt. Or those pants are nice to I wonder if her ass feels as firm as it looks. The touches had begun as necessities. She was injured, bleeding, she needed help. They soon turned from necessity to purely selfish. Needless hand brushing when exchanging files, a hand placed on a lower back, thigh to thigh sitting on the desk, hand holding to comfort. They couldn't stop.

JJ gulped down the rest of her drink and ordered another. Her fingers twirling the straw in tiny circles. JJ could pinpoint the exact moment when her denial was shattered and everything became real. The one and only kiss they shared was one borne out of desperation, out of a need to feel something, to feel someone. The case had hit them hard. They always did when children were involved. They weren't the heroes this time, yes they'd caught the unsub but not in time. There were shared drinks and a dimly lit hotel room. A hug goodnight. A few escaped tears. Whispered words meant to comfort. Then it was lips on lips. Tongue duelling tongue. Hands tangled in hair. Hot, ragged, breaths. Someone moaned. Then it was over.

Work became a struggle after that. Concentration, impossible. Images of that night, of that kiss, of the things that could have happened after invaded her brain. She'd become distant hoping that would help. It hadn't. It had been torturous, still was. It was the reason she was where she was now, alone and well on her way to being drunk.

She knew it was her fault. She should have done things differently. Wished she hadn't been so afraid. Afraid of what people would think, what they would say, afraid of her own feelings. She should have stood and fought instead of running off scared. It was too late now. She'd done too much damage. She couldn't fix things.

JJ wanted to stop thinking, wanted to forget. Alcohol was going to help her get there. The incessant buzzing on her hip was now becoming annoying. She flipped her cell phone open. LaMontagne flashed across the screen. The conversation enraging her. It was over. She'd told him that once. She didn't love him. She told him she would never love him. She told him that she was in love with someone else. When she didn't tell him who, he had guessed. He had guessed right. He just wouldn't accept it. He said that she was too scared to ever act on it, to ever tell her. He said it smugly. He said it as if he she would come back to him. Never, never would she go back to him. She was done, done with him, done with trying to drink her feelings away, done with running.

Emily stumbled down the dark hallway, the constant knocking acting as a guide. It was 2:30 am, she was not happy. She looked through the peephole and was completely taken aback by the person she saw standing there.

"JJ, what the hell are you doing here?" Emily asked, blocking the doorway with her T-shirt clad body.

"We need to talk, I have to tell you something, it's important Em....please." JJ rushed out the words without a breath in between.

Emily stepped to the side, allowing JJ to step inside. Ever the hostess, ingrained from years of living with the Ambassador, Emily took JJ's jacket and offered her a seat and a drink.

"So you actually want to talk to me? I guess this means the long period of you freezing me out is over then?" Emily asked in a cold voice.

"I had to Emily, it was the only way I could cope. I was scared. It was overwhelming. It was too much. The feelings. The kiss. I didn't want...I was too..." JJ couldn't finish. She wasn't good at this. She didn't know how to do this, how to fix it.

" You were so overwhelmed that you slept with LaMontagne. Jesus Christ JJ what kinda fucking logic is that" Emily yelled, no longer trying to control her anger. Jumping up and beginning to pace back and forth in front of JJ.

It was at this moment that JJ realized that all Emily had on was a T-shirt that stopped miles above her knee. Her stomach clenched. Her hair was tousled from sleep, cheeks flushed from anger. JJ could feel the heat consuming her body. She needed to touch her. She could hear the sound of Emily's voice, but couldn't distinguish any words. Knew she was still going on about LaMontagne. JJ didn't want to talk anymore. She was press liaison, made her money talking, but right now she didn't know what words to say to make this better.

JJ jumped up, shoving Emily at the shoulders until she tumbled to the couch. "JJ what the fuck do you think..." Emily didn't get to finish the question because JJ had jumped on top of her. Was straddling her. Heat. It consumed Emily the moment JJ came in contact with her. She was still pissed. She brought her hands up to shove JJ off her but JJ was quicker. And deceptively strong. She pinned Emily's hands on either side if her head.

"JJ no I don't want..." Emily began to say turning her head to the side to avoid JJ's descending lips. JJ was undeterred however and settled for biting down on the spot where neck met shoulder. Emily pushed her hips up bucking into JJ in an effort to knock her off. All she succeeded in doing was brining them centre to centre. Throbbing heat to throbbing heat.

"It was always you Emily," JJ whispered breathlessly into her ear. "Always you, everything else was a mistake, I'm sorry, so sorry" JJ continued whispering in Emily's ear.

All Emily could do was shake her head back and forth. She was losing her resolve. Losing it really fast. The heat, the hot  breath in her ear, the open mouth kisses down her neck. She wanted to give in. She was tired of fighting it, tired of ignoring it. She wanted her. They wanted each other, needed each other.

The dam finally broke. Emily snapped. Flipping them over. JJ was now beneath her. Emily could feel JJ's nails scrapping up the outsides of her thighs. Dragging her shirt up as she went. Emily sat back halting JJ's advances immediately. Emily began unbuckling JJ's belt. JJ took her cue and pulled her own shirt up and over her head. Unclasped her bra and threw it on top of her shirt. Emily unbuttoned JJ's jeans then lifted her hips just enough for JJ to wriggle out of them.

Emily grasped her shirt at the hem and pulled it up and over her head. JJ's breath caught in her throat. Emily was completely naked under her night shirt. And now she sat straddling her. JJ could feel Emily's arousal, wet on her now naked thighs. She ran her hands up and over Emily's hips, straight up to her breasts. Cupping them she ran her thumbs rhythmically over the peaked nipples. Emily groaned. JJ ran her hands up even further, tracing Emily's collar bone. Taking hold there JJ shoved hard, knocking Emily to her back.

JJ started at her ankles and trailed her fingers up along the inside of Emily's thighs, loving the shivers that Emily couldn't control. JJ rubbed her thumbs in circles over Emily's hip bones, watching the muscles contract with every swipe. JJ just wanted to thrust into her over and over again until she was screaming her name. She held back. Gained back some control. Feather light kisses up Emily's stomach. JJ nipped along the underside of Emily's breasts. Mewling was the only word that could describe the sounds emanating from Emily's mouth.

Taking one of Emily's nipples into her mouth JJ swirled her tongue around the peaked nub. Alternating between licking and sucking. She then buried her face in the valley between Emily's breast and tasted greedily. God she loved Emily's taste. She placed hot open mouth kisses all the way up to Emily's chin. JJ hovered above her, looking down for any sign of resistance, any sign of doubt. She found none.

JJ placed a chaste kiss on the corner of Emily's mouth, darting her tongue out quickly to taste. "I'm sorry Em...so sorry...I'm done running....done fighting it..." JJ whispered the words because she knew Emily needed to hear them. Needed to hear her admit it out loud. She traced her tongue along Emily's bottom lip, then began nibbling on it. " From the first time Em...I knew the first time I saw you...I was scared...I was falling...God Emily, I'm in love with you." JJ finished raggedly.

Emily grabbed JJ's face pulling her down for a heart pounding kiss. Tongues and lips crashed together. Both trying to get more, taste more, get closer. JJ plunged three fingers into Emily. Swallowing the groan that was ripped from Emily's throat at the more than welcome intrusion of fingers. God she was tight. Tight and wet.

"Em you're so tight, so wet..." JJ murmured the thoughts that entered her head, as she continued thrusting in and out of Emily.

JJ was so wrapped up in the feel of being inside Emily that she didn't notice the hand that was now creeping down the front of her underwear. Emily made contact with JJ's hardened clit. JJ bit down hard on Emily's shoulder, moaning at the sudden contact.

Breathless demands filled the room. Harder, faster, deeper, more. The sound of sweat slicked skin on sweat slicked skin arousing them both even more. They were both close. So close to that release. Muscles tightening. Breathing laboured and ragged. Fingers reaching, searching, curving, finding. Then they were falling. Falling over the edge. Falling together. Collapsing onto each other, totally spent. They looked into each others eyes, knowing that this was the beginning. I love you's were whispered in unison.. Limbs entwined, head on shoulders, arms wrapped tight, they fell asleep.

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