Title: Home At Last
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 20_est_relships
Prompt: 20: Memories
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"There you go." Spencer set the glass of chocolate milk on the table in front of Jack, sliding into his own chair with a smile. "Chocolate milk is the best, isn't it? Better than plain. At least, I've always thought so. Anything with chocolate always tastes better."

Jack nodded vigorously, picking up the glass and drinking nearly half of it in two gulps, giving himself a chocolate milk mustache in the process. "Daddy says so, too." He looked back at his oatmeal, picking up his spoon and digging into it.

Spencer watched the child, a small smile on his face. He'd thought that learning to deal with being around Aaron's son all the time would be had on him, but it hadn't been. Somehow, he felt just as comfortable around Jack as he did around the boy's father.

Maybe that was because Jack was such a part of Aaron, he told himself, suppressing a sigh. But he was also a part of his mother -- and Spencer felt that he was still treading on eggshells where she was concerned. There were still issues concerning that subject, on both sides.

He didn't want Aaron to remove all traces of his former wife from the house, but he couldn't help wincing every time he entered a room to see a framed picture of her. It was as though she still dominated the house, and Spencer was just a guest here.

That wasn't true, he told himself sternly. Aaron had wanted him to be here. He'd wanted them to be together, here in this house, and he wasn't relegating Spencer to the role of a guest in his life. This was where he belonged, where he wanted to be.

He couldn't help but wonder what Jack thought of him being here; it was obvious that Spencer was now a part of the household, and the child hadn't asked any questions about that setup yet. Spencer wondered when those questions would come, and if he would have the answers.

"Ready to go?" Aaron asked his son as he entered the kitchen. Spencer looked up at him with a smile, his eyes roaming over his lover's body. Aaron seemed much more relaxed these past few days; it was as though having Spencer moved in at last had taken a load from his shoulders.

Maybe it had, the younger man thought, again having to suppress a sigh. But he himself couldn't help feeling that he was caught in a kind of limbo, not really belonging here even though he wanted to. And he wondered if Aaron was regretting him moving in.

"Is Spencer going to be here when I come back?" Jack asked, dropping his spoon into the now-empty bowl. He looked from one man to the other, a question written on his childish features. "He's always here now. Is he going to go away again?"

Spencer's heart clenched in his chest at the question; he himself had been wondering much the same thing. He looked up at Aaron, knowing that this wasn't a question he could answer by himself. It was up to the other man to explain this to his son.

"Jack, we've already talked about this," Aaron said gently, kneeling by his son's chair and looking the child directly in the eye. "Spencer lives here now. He's not going away. I .... I love him very much, Jack, and I want you to learn to love him, too. He's part of us now."

Jack seemed to relax, nodding at his father before asking another question, one that tore at Spencer's heart as much as the first one had. "Does that mean Spencer is going to be my second daddy?" the little boy asked, the innocent question hanging in the air.

Aaron looked surprised, his gaze flying to Spencer's. The young man only stared at his lover, wide-eyed, not sure of what to say. Where had Jack come up with that kind of a concept? It wasn't like a child of his age could understand their adult relationship.

"I guess it does," Aaron told him with a smile, glancing at Spencer and raising his brows in question. "What do you say, Spencer? Do you think you could handle being Jack's second daddy?" His eyes were questioning, imploring Spencer to say the right thing.

"Of course I can," Spencer answered, though his throat was so tight that it was hard to speak. "I'll do my best, captain Jack," he said, saluting the little boy and managing to smile. He wanted to make light of this, rather than make it a moment that could turn tearful.

"That's good, 'cause I love you as much as Daddy does," Jack told him, sliding from his chair and flinging his arms around Spencer's legs in a hug. "I don't want you to go away. Mommy said you would -- but she was wrong. And she's the one who's gone now," he added, his voice thoughtful.

"I love you too, Jack," Spencer managed to whisper, hoping that he wouldn't cry and betray the emotions that were overflowing within him. All he wanted to do at the moment was fall into Aaron's arms, but that wasn't possible with Jack here in the room.

Jack said nothing else, but headed out of the room to meet his aunt, who was driving him to school this morning. The two men watched him go, each of them letting out breaths that neither had realized they were holding, both of them feeling relieved.

Aaron got to his feet slowly, sitting down in the chair that his son had vacated. "Well, I guess that takes care of any problems that we might have had about you moving in that concerned Jack," he said, his gaze meeting Spencer's. "That's a relief, to be honest."

"It is," Spencer agreed, reaching across the table to take Aaron's hand. "I'd thought he might have a problem with me being here all the time, and I was prepared for him to ask me when I was going home. I didn't know what I was going to say. 'Never' seemed way too abrupt."

"I talked to him a couple of nights ago, and told him that you were living here now and that this is your home," Aaron said softly, squeezing Spencer's hand reassuringly. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable here, Spencer. Not around Jack, especially, but not in any way."

Spencer started to deny that he'd felt like that, but in good conscience, he couldn't. "I .... don't always feel really comfortable here," he admitted, looking down and removing his hand from the other man's. "It's like I'm just a guest here, like I don't really belong in the house."

"What?" Aaron frowned at his words, sounding genuinely surprised. "I hope I haven't done anything to make you feel that way, sweetheart. If I have, then it was unintentional. And I hope that Jack hasn't said anything before that made you feel unwanted."

Spencer shook his head, feeling that he had no right to express himself -- after all, Aaron had invited him to live here, and he had no right to complain when he was the interloper. But if he held those feelings back, they would only fester and get worse.

"You still have pictures of Haley everywhere," he murmured, not wanting to look up and meet what he was sure would be a hurt look in Aaron's eyes. "It's like she's still the real resident here, and I'm just a guest. I don't expect you to get rid of all her pictures, but --"

Aaron cut him off, his voice soft. "I'm sorry, Spencer. I had meant to put most of those pictures away before you moved in, but with all that's been going on, I'd forgotten to do it. I didn't mean to make you feel that you weren't welcome here. I'll put most of them away."

"I don't want to take them all down," Spencer said quickly, not wanting to seem unreasonable. "Jack needs some pictures of his mom around. Those memories are good ones. I just .... I want to put the past behind us and start fresh. You and me. And Jack."

"He'll have plenty of pictures of her in his room," Aaron said, reaching out to take Spencer's hand again. "He won't forget his mom. And neither will I. We both have good memories of her. But that's the past, and you're right. We need to start fresh, and to make our own future."

"I'm just glad that Jack doesn't resent me, or feel like I'm trying to take his mom's place," Spencer said, feeling relieved at Aaron's words. Apparently, the memories of Haley that were still in the house weren't going to be an issue -- for any of them.

"He'd never think that," Aaron said with a smile. "You heard what he said, Spencer. He loves you. And I think, in a way, Haley tried to prepare him for our relationship. She did tell him about us -- but she didn't try to turn him against us being together."

"I don't want either one of you to give up your memories of her," Spencer told Aaron, finally meeting his gaze again. "I know how much you both loved her. But I want the three of us to be able to make our own memories -- and I want them to be just as special."

"They will be," Aaron assured him, getting to his feet and holding out his arms to the younger man. Spencer stood up, moving into his lover's arms and embracing him, resting his head on Aaron's shoulder and closing his eyes. For the first time, he felt as though he was home at last.

This was where he belonged -- and where he would always belong. This was where Aaron wanted him to be, where he himself wanted to be. And he knew beyond a doubt that there was nowhere else he would ever want to call his home.

***