Title: Auld Lang Syne
Author: xxtransitionxx
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen
Rating: FRT
Summary: Should auld acquaintance be forgot?
Spoilers: 3x16 Elephant's Memory.

***

Its a funny thing...Life.

One minute you're on top of the world. Football scholarship to UNLV, playing for the Devils had always been his dream, his fathers dream too. And even though he only played for 4 minutes that first game it was still one of his most cherished memories.

He played for two seasons before his knee blew out, but it was okay. He had lived that dream. He met Karen at a game in Reno; he'd never been in love before Karen. Sure he had dated Alexa Lisbon in high school but he was the quarterback and she was the prettiest girl in school it was just the way the chips fell.

Karen made him a better man. Every day she would make him see the world in a whole new light. He proposed after 6 months.

He got his business diploma, and Karen stayed at school pursuing her Medical degree. It was only right. She was so smart and caring he knew she would make a wonderful Doctor. And one day he would be the mother of his children.

He got hired at the chamber of commerce right out of university. He made a good poster boy, student athlete all around nice guy. Turned out he was good at his job. Selling his city to strangers who thought it was some sort of mythical wonderland.

She got an internship at Spring Valley.

It was February 12th he last heard her voice. She called to let him know she was running a little late at the library. He offered to pick her up but she knew he had an early meeting the next morning and told him she would catch a ride from one of the other interns.

He woke up at six that morning.

At first he thought she could have spent the night at her sister's house. She was close to the library and sometimes Karen would stay over if it got too late.

He called her telephone 16 times before he called the police.

They say it's always better to share things "A Burden Shared Is a Burden Halved" or something like that... It's bullshit.

He has their names memorized: Charlotte Lynn, Jamie Lynch, Emma Compton and Karen Edwards. Not a single one grew up in the city, but they all found their grave here.

They called in the experts at the FBI. Spencer looked like some little geek running around with a gun strapped on to his belt.

He took a swing at old Spence when they had him identify the body. She looked horrible lying on that cold slab of steel with a sheet covering her. She would have yelled at him to get everyone out of the room if she had know they would all see her like that.

He wanted to kill him. Spencer. Wanted to punch his face until there was only and open raw wound left. He was looking at him like he wanted to say something. And all he could hear was that voice in his head over the rushing of his blood. The whispers that he deserved this, that this was his punishment. For that time they tied him to the goal post, or the time they stripped him and pissed on his ugly little sweater vest. Or that time...

He probably would have killed him if that big black guy hadn't pulled him away.

And than he cried. He always thought that he might cry a little on their wedding day, or maybe when he had kids. He didn't cry in the church. Not the day he got married and not the day he laid his wife of three scant months to rest. But he cried in that cold city morgue. He cried like his heart was breaking because it was, and he got Spencer's nosebleed all down his good shirt too.

The two of them sat there for an eternity that early morning and he still don't know who whispered "I'm sorry."

***