Title: Let's Go Back
Author: ThatSuddenNeed
Rating: PG Mention of Gay Relationship
Pairing: Reid/Hotch
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I just borrow them for slash. I do not make any money off of them.
Summary: How exactly did Aaron and Spencer wind up in this place?

***

San Antonio was hot, even at night. Haley was angry, scratch that, she was disappointed, even worse. Aaron had been gone numerous days over the past 2 weeks and she was lonely, trapped at home with a toddler. Aaron felt awful about it, but this was his job, and they both went into it, eyes open to the hours and the dangers.  
 
He needed a drink.  Something to relax his mind and body. Luckily for him there was a bar inside the hotel. As he walked in he was surprised to see Spencer Reid perched on one of the stools, actually scratch that, he was disappointed, even worse. He would have liked to drink away his problems without having to entertain the kid all night. He seemed to have no other choice, so he sat on the stool next to his co-worker.  
 
"Hey." Hotch looked at Reid and nodded. 
 
"Didn't expect to see you here, I didn't even know you drank." Hotch said a bit too inquisitively. 
 
"I don't, this is just coke," Reid replied jiggling the ice in his glass.  "I couldn't sleep so I came down here to listen to the piano, you seem tense, you wanna talk?"  
 
Hotch laughed to himself. The kid always wanted to fix people. "No Reid, I'm fine. I just wanted something to drink." 
 
Reid nodded his head, and decided to leave well enough alone. Reid was starting to feel awkward, but other than getting up and leaving he couldn't see how to get around it.  
 
The awkward silence continued as the piano played a few more songs and Hotch had a few more drinks.  

Suddenly Hotch blurted out, "Why does she have to make me feel so guilty about my work? She knew what we were getting into when I accepted the job. We talked about it endlessly before making the decision."  

 
Reid watched Hotch as he poured out his heart and quickly realized his superior had boarded the  "One too many train" and signaled to the bartender to cut him off.  


After a moment of thought he finally answered, "I don't exactly know Hotch, but I assume that talking about it and living it are two very different things. You have to remember that everything changed the day Jack was born.  Now she is stuck at home, alone all day with your child. Every time you leave the house she has to worry whether or not you'll come home. It can't be easy for her I'm sure."  

'Crap, I've said too much', thought Reid to himself.  

Hotch stared at him for a moment and responded, "So DOCTOR… do you make it your pastime to profile my wife and my marriage?"  

Hotch snorted bitterly. 

"Sorry… of course not sir…" backtracked Reid, "I just thought you wanted my opinion… so I gave it to you. Sorry if I was over stepping my bounds. It's just that… well… it's pretty obvious how unhappy you have been lately.  I've never been in a serious relationship myself and so I have had a lot of time to think about it.   Again, sorry if I was out of line." Reid offered his apology.  
 
Hotch took a deep breath and hung his head between his hands on the bar. "No Reid, it's fine and you're right, it probably didn't require any of your genius to come up with that profile, anyone can see what is going on. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't keep this up." He took another deep breath and blew the air out of his lips side to side. "How do you deal with the female of the species while doing our job Spencer?"  
 
The moment Spencer always dreaded had arrived in the form of his drunken boss. "Um, well, I don't have a lot of experience with the female species sir, so I'm probably not the one to ask for advice. Um… how about we get you back to your room?   We have a big day tomorrow."  
 
"Yeah, you're right we should probably get back. You must think I'm pathetic right now. I'm sorry Reid; I hadn't expected to run into you here. I had hoped to drown my sorrows alone and in silence." Hotch was sobering up pretty quickly it seemed.  
 
"Hey that's okay. I'm glad I could give you an ear to bend. Sometimes you just have to say something out loud for it to all make sense." Reid said in as casual a way as he could muster.  
 
Reid walked Hotch back to his room and on the way Hotch revisited the dating issue. "So what is the problem with you Spencer? You're a good-looking guy, you're smart, you get to carry a gun, women love guys with guns." Apparently Reid's dreaded conversation was not going to rest tonight.  


"So what's holding you back?" Hotch obviously wasn't sober. If he were he would have never gotten this personal.   

 
No one but JJ knew about Spencer's sexual orientation, and the only reason she knew was because Gideon had tried so hard to set them up.  Reid had to come clean with her on why he was not interested. She was very understanding and promised to keep his personal business to herself.  


Standing there at Aaron's hotel room door he decided to finally tell the truth, let go of his secret and hope Hotch forgot about it by morning. "I'm not exactly interested in women Hotch."  

There, it was out.  

 
"Oh Spencer, I know your life has been hard and you dress like Mr. Rogers, but you have a lot to offer, why not be interested?" Hotch was laughing at his own bad joke.  


Spencer loved to see him smile, even if it was at a joke that was at his own expense.  

 
"Hotch I'm gay. I don't like women because I, like men." Reid swallowed deeply, he felt like he might faint, and prayed Hotch took this information well.  
 
"You're gay?" Hotch looked directly into Spencer's eyes when he asked this.


But it was the look on Aaron's face that had Spencer's mind spinning…it was one of empathy.  

***