Title: Back Story
By: zequin-stars
Pairing: pre-slash Gideon/Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Prompt: 007. I survived you
Word Count: 1136
Rating: NC17
Warnings/Spoilers: No spoilers that I"m aware of.
Summary: (what your story is about in a sentence or two)
My Beta! My lovely wovely beta, she deserves everyone's praise for putting up with my run on sentences and annoying questions! ztivokreb

***

I see the picture clear now, the fog has lifted.
The wool you tried to pull over my eyes was clever.
Yeah you're gifted.
But you forgot to dot some I's, and cross some T's along the way.
I'm better now despite you baby.
I'm stronger these days.
Stronger.

Reid didn't like to be touched unexpectedly. If someone suddenly touched him or came up behind him he would jump and skitter away as fast as he could until he was far enough away to feel safe once more. Jason always wondered what could have happened to the younger man to make him react to touch in such a negative manner. All the time he spent with Reid simply made Jason more and more curious about the younger man and his mannerisms. The young doctor was getting better about the team touching him, especially when Jason touched him. When Morgan punched him in shoulder Reid didn't look like he was about to fall into a nervous breakdown, he handled Garcia's hugs more easily, and he practically beamed when Hotch would rest a hand on his shoulder.

No one knew what had happened to Reid in his life to make him so skittish around touch, but if the team was honest, they didn't know much about Spencer Reid anyway. It seemed whatever had gotten to Reid, whatever made him shy away from the simplest of touches, was not controlling him so strongly anymore. The younger man would actively touch someone, like hugging Garcia when she wasn't feeling very well, and even smacking Morgan upside the head when he was being chauvinistic. Jason couldn't help but be proud of him, especially when Reid would sit next to him and rest against his side as if he felt the safest when next to Jason.

[Chorus:]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.

After a particularly trying case, all of the team had been snapping at each other by the end, Jason was alone in his office finishing paperwork. The pictures on his bookcase sat staring at him intently tonight, they had failed to save a few children during this case and it was weighing heavy on his mind, that was why he was hiding in his office until everyone left. The knock on his door surprised him into looking up, curious, Jason called a distracted 'enter' to whoever was on the other side of the door before looking back down at his paperwork.

"Gideon?"

Looking up and blinking, Jason stared at Reid uncomprehendingly for a few moments before he realized that the younger man was, indeed, standing in his doorway looking miserable. Pushing his chair backwards and turning it so he could face the door, Gideon turned his full attention on the younger man.

"How can I help you Reid?"

Reid shifted from foot to foot, his hands stuffed into his pockets and his hair hanging forward to cover his eyes from view, Gideon hadn't seen him this agitated since he'd first met the younger man. Standing up and walking towards him, Jason went to put his hand on Reid's shoulder and was surprised to see the younger man jerk backwards out of reach.

"Spencer, what's wrong?"

It concerned him greatly to see the progress they had been making with Reid's comfort level with the team regressing. Something huge must have happened to force Reid to return to his skittish, wary attitude about touch, something that made the younger man not feel safe being touched by the one's who cared for him. Jason wanted to hit something, and he wanted to cry, it was a tight fist around his heart to see Reid so miserable. Reid raised his large, innocent appearing, eyes to meet Jason's from underneath his fringe of hair, and Jason was shocked at the tears welling in his lashes.

"I need your help."

I can look in the mirror now.
It's been a slow awakening.
Haunted by a heart full of you, couldn't help mistaking.
That you could ever care for anyone.
Anyone but yourself. Hey.
But you would have to have a conscience baby.
Good luck I wish you well.

Jason wanted to pull Reid into his arms and hold him close, he wanted to shield that fragile seeming body from the cruelties of whatever life was throwing at him. He wanted to smooth those tears from Reid's beautiful eyes and ease away the lines of stress creasing those lips into a thin line of distress.

"What happened Spencer?"

Spencer started pacing in front of Jason, his hands still tucked into his pockets and his shoulder hunched, quoting some random statistic about domestic violence and restraining order's. Sitting on the edge of his desk, close enough to Reid to offer support, but not so close as to make the younger man feel crowded, and watched in confusion. After ten minutes of Reid spouting off endless lists of facts and statistics, thoroughly losing Jason amid his numbers and analogies, Spencer turned suddenly and faced Gideon directly.

"My ex-boyfriend just got out of jail. He wants me back and has been calling me every night and messaging me on my cell phone, since he got out. I told him I was involved with someone and now he wont leave me alone."

Reid bit his bottom lip and looked away after his words fell from his lips in a jumbled rush. Jason stared at the younger man for a few moments to let all the information Reid had just given him, to sink in. Reid had an ex-boyfriend? Reid had sex before? Reid's ex had been in jail!? Blinking, Jason frowned and stood up, he was worried for the younger man and something like jelousey was pricking at the back of his throat when the younger man said he was involved with someone. The fact that Reid had been involved with anyone was grating on his nerves, it was bad enough that Morgan was drooling over Reid, but to know that he might have a chance? It practically drove Jason to distraction, but that wasn't what he was helping Reid with now, he would dwell on it later.

"How do I help in this Spencer?"

Reid took a deep breath and looked off to the side, avoiding Jason's gaze, his lips compressed into a line of concentration. His long fingers were clenched into fists inside his pockets and his shoulders were hunched inward.

"ItoldhimthatIwasinvolvedwithyou."

Jason stared at Reid intently, deciphering what the younger man had said slowly, his eyes widening when he realized what was going on. Stepping towards Reid, Jason closed his eyes when Reid rapidly stepped backwards to get away from him.

"Reid."

His voice quiet and pained, most upset that Reid seemed to think Jason would be disgusted with him, or worse yet hurt him for something like this. Opening his eyes and stepping forward again, holding out a hand to the skittish young man, Jason softened his expression to the one he constantly wore around the younger man and curled his fingers gently towards the other man.

"It's okay Spencer. I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not angry with you. I'll help anyway I can, okay?"

It tore his heart up to see the uncertainty in Reid's eyes, the fear, stepping forward again he gently took the hand that Reid warily curled into his palm. Tugging the younger man gently forward, Jason enfolded him into his arms, wrapping Reid close even as the taller youth stood straight and rigid in his arms. For a moment they stood like that, Reid standing unbending in his arms, and Jason gently rubbing his back in soothing circles. Suddenly, as if something had broken inside of him, Reid collapsed into Jason's arms and started to cry, his tears wetting Jason's shirt the only clue to the fact that he was crying.

[Chorus]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.

Moving slowly backwards to his chair, holding Reid the whole time as the younger man clung to him. Jason sunk down into the chair and curled Reid as best he could into his lap, Reid folding long limbs as close to Jason as he possible could.

"Shh, it'll be alright Spencer. You're not alone in this anymore."

This heart has been torn in two.
Cut and bruised.
With too many bitter endings.
I'll be damned if I have thoughts of you
Rain on my new beginning.

After a half hour of Reid crying into his shoulder, explaining the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his ex and the fear he lived with because of one man, he finally understood why Reid didn't like to be touched. He hated the reason. Jason held Reid cuddled close, the younger man seeming hesitant to let go and Jason unwilling to let go until Reid wanted him to.

Reid hiccupped and nuzzled his head against Jason's shoulder, one long fingered hand coming up to curl around his shirt like a child expecting comfort and security. Tucking Reid's head underneath his chin, stretching out his legs so that he could support the younger man's weight, Jason smoothed his long hair out of his face softly.

"He knows where I live."

Reid didn't open his eyes as he spoke, his hand tucked underneath his chin and wrapped tightly around Jason's shirt. Gideon frowned and glared at the door as if the man who was tormenting Spencer would jump from behind the door and Jason could shoot him.

"You'll come home with me then."

Jason didn't think about what he said, but when Reid's body relaxed even more he knew he'd said the right thing. Smoothing his hands down Reid's spine, gently cuddling the lithe body settled in his lap closer, Jason peered at the clock that read 9:30pm. He wouldn't move until Reid was ready.

[Chorus]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.

Gideon knew that Reid had hidden depths, he knew that the boy was stronger than he looked, but he felt good knowing that the younger man turned to him for help. He had always been protective of the youngest member of their team, and it seemed natural to hold and comfort Reid now that he needed the help, just as much as actually helping him.

"It'll be alright Spencer."

"I know. With you it will."

Jason missed the small smile that graced Spencer's lips, he was to busy staring at the door intently to make sure nothing could happen to the younger man while he was with him.

I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.

***