Title: Being There
By: snoozie2105
Pairing: Rossi/JJ
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG
Author's note: JJ/Rossi angst, with a little fluff thrown in. Should this be a one-shot, or should I keep going? Please read and review and let me know! I have no claims to Criminal Minds or its characters.
Summary: Rossi goes to visit JJ and baby Henry***
David Rossi sat in his SUV in the parking lot of the hospital where Jennifer Jareau had just given birth, mentally preparing himself to visit to her and her son. He almost hadn't come, but, according to Garcia, the new mother wanted to see him. He couldn't refuse.
He had been greatly relieved when he got the call that Jennifer's suffering was over and baby Henry had arrived screaming and healthy - those eighteen hours she had been in labor with him were the longest of Rossi's life - but knowing what he knew about Will LaMontagne, he couldn't feel happy. For not a week ago, Rossi had run into Will in a dark, smoky bar, cozying up to a woman who was not Jennifer and clearly enjoying himself. Until he'd seen Rossi come in.
Before Rossi had even settled himself on a barstool, Will had been at his side, telling the bartender to put that Scotch on his tab and offering an explanation. Rossi shook his head in disgust as he remembered what the father-to-be had said: "JJ's ready to pop. She doesn't need to know about this. What do you say we keep it we keep it between us?"
It's none of your business, he tried to tell himself after Will and his "friend" left, together, and after he'd told the bartender to give the drink to someone else. Would she believe you if you told her? Would she forgive you for not telling her?
In the end, he decided to keep his peace. Rossi had no doubt that Will would slip up, and Jennifer would see him for what he really was - a liar and a cheater. He just had to trust that she'd come to him, and that when she did, he'd know what to do - tell her that he knew, or just let it go?
The most important truth, at least from Rossi's point of view, was that he loved her. Adored her. Worshiped her. Would never, ever betray her. He hated Will for what he'd done, wanted nothing more than to beat the hell out of him for stepping out on the mother of his child when she needed him most. He was a pitiful excuse for a man.
David Rossi hadn't prayed in a long time, but as he got out of his SUV and started for the hospital, he asked God to give him strength to face Jennifer.
~*~
The door to her room was closed, and for a few seconds, Rossi just stood there, not sure if he should knock or leave. His desire to see Jennifer with his own eyes, to be certain that she was okay, won, so he knocked, but hesitantly. In case she's sleeping, he reasoned.
She sounded weak and tired yet triumphant as she called, "Come in!"
When he saw her, sitting up in bed, cradling Henry, he had to smile. She was pale, and she looked like she'd been to hell and back, but he would always remember thinking that no woman had ever been more beautiful than Jennifer at that moment. "Dave!" Her face lit up when she was him. "You came!"
"When you call, I answer - you should know that by now," he said, automatically going to her bedside. "These are for you," he added unnecessarily as he handed her the bouquet of wildflowers he'd picked up on his way over.
"Oh, Dave ... you didn't have to, but I'm glad you did." She grinned. "Of all my family and friends, you're the only one who remembers that I don't care for roses. Thank you."
"No thanks necessary," he replied. "Aren't you going to introduce us?" He glanced down to the baby in her arms.
"I would love to," she said as she shifted Henry so Rossi could get a good look at him. "Henry Jareau, please meet David Rossi, one of your mommy's bestest friends in the whole wide world."
Her introduction made him feel like a heel for being dishonest with her, but there was no way he could destroy her happiness now, even if it was based on a lie. He didn't trust his voice to not waver as he touched Henry's cheek with his finger. "Jennifer ... oh my God ... he's - he's beautiful ... he looks just like you."
"You think?" she smiled as she looked up from the baby to Rossi.
"I do," he said sincerely, totally enraptured by the small bundle that was starting to squirm. "You did good."
That was all it took to make her tears start to fall. It broke his heart. "Oh, honey ... shh ... it's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He took the baby from her and laid him in the bassinet by the bed before sitting down and taking her in his arms.
She buried her face in his shirt, and he simply let her cry. "I guess it's the hormones," she tried to joke as she took the Kleenex he offered her. "I'm sorry, Dave - I made a wet spot on you."
"Don't apologize," he said softly, brushing her blonde hair away from her face and gazing into her blue eyes. "But why don't you tell me why you're really crying?"
She sighed; she could no more lie to him than she could stop the sun from rising, and she need him, needed his strength and certainty, right now. "I'm scared."
"Scared? Of what?" he asked seriously. "Talk to me. Please. I can't bear to see you like this."
The tears threatened to start up again, but she replied shakily,"I was just telling Henry that he's going to have to bear with me while I learn to be a mother."
"You'll be great. You know it. I know it," he soothed as he continued to hold her.
Her next confession caught him off guard. "I-I worry a-about Will, too," she sniffled.
He hoped she couldn't feel him stiffen at the mention of her son's father. "You do?"
"Yeah," she said as she extricated herself from his arms and lay back against her pillows. Rossi noticed that she had shredded her Kleenex into a million pieces and gave her another. "He asked me to marry him, but for some reason, I can't say yes. I can't even give his own son his last name. How terrible is that? Tell me, Dave."
The fact was he couldn't tell her it was terrible, because he didn't think it was. "Don't beat yourself up, Jennifer," he settled for saying as he took her hand, the one without the IV, and stroked it comfortingly. "Don't let him push you into something you're not ready for."
"But Henry deserves two parents, a mommy and a daddy, together!" she cried.
"Honey, calm down - look at me." He tipped her chin up so her eyes had to meet his. "Henry deserves love, and love is what he will have, whether you and Will are together or not." He didn't need to point out that the new father was nowhere to be seen at the moment. It made his blood boil. Jennifer felt bad enough, and there was no way in hell he would ask her a question that would only make her feel worse. "Henry also deserves a happy mother."
"But - "
"No buts." He silenced her by placing a finger to her lips. "I know you're worried, but you need to try to put all this out of your mind and get some rest. You've had a long day."
She smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah, I have. Thank you for coming, Dave. I don't know what I'd do without you." She grabbed his hand.
He was a goner. He just had to be patient. "You'll never have to find out," he whispered as he lifted her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. "And that's a promise."
***
Rossi couldn't decide if he felt better or worse for having visited Jennifer. Better because he'd seen her and the baby, worse because she had been so upset, and that had upset him.
If someone had told him when he returned to the BAU that he would wind up falling for the young communications liaison, he would've laughed in their face, but fall for her he had, and hard. He cursed himself as he thought back over the missed opportunities he'd had to let her know that his interest went way beyond anything that could be considered professional. If he had taken even one of those opportunities, he could be at the hospital with Jennifer right now, bonding with their baby boy.
His mind wandered down paths with twists and turns he would never have dreamed of, and without even thinking about the route he had taken, he found himself back at the bar where he'd seen Will. He needed a drink, and he couldn't wait until he got home.
Lo and behold, who would walk in not twenty minutes later but Will LaMontagne. This town is way too small, Rossi thought as he saw the new father come in with the same tart he'd been with the week before.
But this time, he told himself, Will won't get away.
~*~
"Will!" Rossi called jovially. "Get your ass over here!" He patted the stool next to his. The brunette followed Will to the bar.
"Hey, man, how're you doing?" Will asked.
Rossi could sense the younger man's nervousness, and he really enjoyed that, in a perverse way. "Great," he replied as he slapped Will on the back. "I've just been to the hospital to see your son."
Will paled. The brunette just stood there popping her gum. Rossi figured she knew about Jennifer and the baby, and either simply did not care or thought that they posed no threat to whatever she had going on with Will, but he wasn't really concerned with her. He had his target in his sights, and he was moving in for the kill.
"Yeah, I thought I'd drop in and see Jennifer and Henry, but imagine my surprise when I found they were alone. I guessed you'd rushed out to buy cigars for your friends. But since you're here, maybe you'll allow me to buy you and your, uh, friend here a drink. To celebrate."
"I-I don't know," Will hedged. Beads of sweat were visible on his forehead. His hands shook. If Jennifer and Henry, and their honor, weren't at the heart of this, Rossi would be having the time of his life.
"Come on," he pushed. "Let me return the kindness you showed me last time I saw you here. You just became a father!"
Will turned to his companion. "Tiffany," he said quietly, "would you give us a minute?" She merely nodded and shot Rossi a look as she walked away.
As he faced Rossi again, Will ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I don't know what your problem is, but please ... would you just back the hell off?"
"Why?" Rossi asked, his voice cold and hard as he stared at Will, all pretenses gone. "Am I making you uncomfortable? Do you feel trapped? By Jennifer and Henry or by your own weakness?"
"Don't pull that profiler shit on me!" Will's face was red as blood.
Rossi chuckled. "I don't give a damn about you. I wouldn't spit on you if you on fire. This is about Jennifer and Henry, who have done nothing to deserve you and your shenanigans. How you can disrespect them both in this way is incomprehensible to me."
"You don't understand."
"The hell I don't!" Rossi was just getting warmed up. "You want to have your cake and eat it too, but, you see, Will, it doesn't work like that. You've asked Jennifer to marry you, she's just given birth to your son, and you're out with another woman? That's low. That's despicable."
He kept going. "Do you even realize what Jennifer has been through these past nine months? The dizziness, the throwing up, the swollen ankles, the aches and pains? What she has been through today? What she will be going through if you keep this charade up?" It was all he could do not to grab Will and slam him against the wall.
Will regarded the older man suspiciously. This anger, this lashing out, was starting to make sense. David Rossi was in love with Jennifer. If he cared for her only as a friend, he wouldn't be so pissed. His voice was oddly calm as he replied, "Obviously I haven't paying as close attention as you have. You're in love with my woman."
Rossi couldn't and wouldn't deny the truth of what Will had just said, but he wasn't about to let the younger man use it as leverage. This had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with Jennifer. "Your woman? Is that how you think of her? As a possession?!"
Will was on his feet, ready to fight. "She's mine, and she's going to be mine - if you stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."
Rossi stood too, ready to throw a punch if it came to that. "Listen, and listen good, you punk," he said hatefully. "You seem to forget that Jennifer has a lot of people, a lot of people in high places, who would gladly stick their noses where you think they don't belong - Reid, Hotch, Morgan. Hell, Prentiss and Garcia would maim you so that your body would be unidentifiable. You can take me, or you can take all of us."
That seemed to put Will in his place, if only for a moment. "So? What are you gonna do? I can't see you rushing to Jennifer tonight and telling her that I'm a no-good, lying son of a bitch," he dared.
Rossi didn't back down. "Not tonight. But soon, Will, soon ... mark my words."
"And let me guess what will happen then. You'll be waiting, waiting to move in on my family. I've got four words for you, Rossi. Over. My. Dead. Body."
"Don't tempt me. Because I could arrange it." And with that, Rossi took his leave.
***
The next three weeks were a living hell for David Rossi. The BAU was not a very happy place anyway, but without JJ, it was almost unbearable. He missed her like crazy, despite the fact that they spoke on the phone every day, even if only for a few minutes. Just hearing her voice and Henry's coos - or screams - in the background got him through. She hadn't mentioned Will, and neither had he, but the man was never far from mind. Rossi was just waiting for him to screw up. It wasn't a question of if, but when.
This day in particular promised to be brighter. Henry had a checkup with his doctor, and JJ had planned to bring him by for a visit and lunch with the team. Everyone was looking forward to it, but no one more than Rossi. All morning he told himself to focus, to concentrate on the box of evidence he was going through, but it was no use. He hadn't seen her since he'd visited the hospital.
At ten minutes past noon, he heard the ding of the elevator, and, a second later, Emily practically scream. "JJ! Where is that sweet baby? Oh, there he is, there's our boy! Here, let Auntie Emily take him." By the time he made it out to the bullpen, Emily had Henry out of his carrier and in her arms, babbling away at him.
JJ stood by, smiling proudly as she watched her friend with her baby, but her hand went to her throat when she looked up and saw Rossi approach. She smiled as he got closer and opened her arms for a hug. "Dave. It's good to finally see you."
"You too," he said as he embraced her and breathed in the sweet scent of her shampoo. "You look fantastic." He stepped back to take a look at her.
She blushed and laughed out loud. "Far from it! I've still got some baby weight to lose, and I'm lucky if I get a shower and put on clothes that aren't a t-shirt and jeans or sweatpants, but you're so sweet, I'm gonna give you a kiss."
Rossi seriously thought time stopped when her soft lips met his rough cheek, and he would have happily wiped out his entire team for their perfect timing - they would choose that moment to converge on the bullpen.
Once they'd all assembled and hugged JJ and oohed and aahed over Henry, off they went to JJ's favorite diner near headquarters. Rossi heard her telling Hotch that her craving for a big, juicy cheeseburger, fried dill pickles and a chocolate milkshake hadn't gone away just yet.
Rossi did manage to wrangle a seat next to her at the diner, and he even held the baby and gave him his bottle while she ate. He was glad to lend a hand, but truthfully, he would've done anything just to be close to her and Henry. All it did was make him angrier at Will and encourage fantasies in which Will didn't exist, in which he was with Jennifer, and Henry was theirs.
After lunch, Jennifer went back to the BAU with the team, Henry in tow, to make a few calls about his registration at the daycare at Quantico. Emily and Penelope volunteered to watch the baby, but Rossi stepped in, saying he knew they had files to read, and he'd be glad to keep an eye on Henry. Both women gave him a look that said, "Who are you and what have you done with David Rossi?"
Once her phone calls were done, Jennifer went to collect her son and hopefully have a nice long conversation with Dave, but when she got to his office, she stopped short at the door.
Dave was cuddling Henry to his chest, saying something she couldn't make out, his voice was so low. She felt her heart constrict at the sight. Will would change a diaper if he absolutely had to, sit with Henry just long enough for her to get cleaned up, but he wasn't much on cuddling - with the baby or with her. If only ... she thought to herself.
She cleared her throat and Dave looked up, a sheepish grin on his face. "Hey, Mama. Henry and I were talking."
"Oh, yeah?" she asked, returning his smile as she plopped herself down in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk. "What about?"
"Guy stuff. You wouldn't understand."
"Well, fine," she giggled. "Be that way."
Rossi didn't offer to give Henry back, and Henry seemed satisfied to stay where he was - JJ only hoped that he wouldn't suddenly spit up on Rossi's suit, which was no doubt expensive.
"So," he finally asked hesitantly, "how are you?"
JJ could feel him watching her; she knew there was no use in telling him that she was fine - he'd see right through her. "Managing," she settled for saying. "It's not easy having a new baby, having to do practically everything by yourself."
"Will doesn't pitch in?" He was purposely vague, figuring it was best to let her tell him what she wanted him to know, but what she'd just said was telling. She needed to unload.
"Only when he wants to, and that isn't often. Don't get me wrong, Dave, I adore Henry, and I do not regret for one second having him ... it's just ... it's just that I didn't think it would be like this."
"How did you think it would be?"
"Well, at first, Will and I were close, and he actually seemed excited about being a husband and a father, but now, he's distant and cold with me, and he's not involved with Henry. I've tried to tell myself that he's just as stressed as I am, but in my heart of hearts, I just don't believe he wants us."
He could see that she was struggling not to cry, and before he knew it, the words were out of his mouth. "How could he not want you and Henry?"
She buried her face in her hands and let the tears flow. Rossi placed Henry in his carrier, careful to cover him with his blanket, got up to close the door, and knelt in front of her. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he took her hands in his.
"I should be apologizing to you," she whispered, sniffling. "Last time we were together, I cried on you, and now, I'm crying on you again."
"I don't like seeing you cry," he soothed. "It breaks my heart. But you know I'd never turn you away. I'm always here for you."
"That's what makes this so hard."
She was dangerously close to breaking down again, but he couldn't relent. He had to keep her talking. He had to know. "Talk to me, Jennifer," he said as his eyes searched hers. "Tell me how you feel. I'm listening."
She took a deep breath before answering. It was now or never, and if he rejected her, she wouldn't have to face him until she came back from her maternity leave. "I-I'm sad that you're not Henry's father."
Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. Everything he wanted was within his reach. "Oh, honey - "
"I'm sorry, Dave," she replied, looking away. "I shouldn't have said that."
"Shhh ... shhh ... let me finish. What would you say if I told you that I was glad you did?"
Her head jerked up. "What?"
"Jennifer," he said slowly, "I'm sad about that too. What would you say if I told you that you could have me, and I could have you and Henry?"
"But Will - "
"You leave him to me," he said firmly. "You and Henry go home, and I'll call you, okay?"
***
David Rossi had a lot of friends. And many of those friends owed him favors. As soon as he left Jennifer and Henry his office, he grabbed Morgan, telling him they had an errand to run, and then he got on his phone, calling Will's lieutenant to find out where they might find young Will. It was time for another chat, and Rossi knew it would be their last.
As they sped to the donut shop where Will and his partner seemed to spend a lot of their on-duty time, Rossi filled Morgan in. When he heard what was behind this errand, he was only too happy to be along for the ride. Without even being asked, he swore that as soon as their visit with Will was over, he'd erase it from his memory.
When he saw them enter the donut shop, Will put down his coffee, his eyes steely. "To what do I owe the pleasure, gentlemen?"
"Don't worry - I'm not here to kick your ass, though I'd like to," Rossi replied. "I'm here to make a deal with you." Morgan stood with his arms across his chest just behind Rossi and to his right.
Will snorted, though he couldn't hide his unease as he looked back and forth between the two agents. "A deal?"
"Yeah - a fairly simple one. You should be able to wrap your mind around it. Mind if we sit down?"
They didn't wait for Will to say yes or no, and, not missing a beat, Rossi continued. "I learned something today, Will, something that you may be relieved to learn."
"Oh, really? And what would that be?"
This was the moment he'd been waiting for. "Jennifer doesn't want you."
"What?" Will's reaction told Rossi he'd hit a nerve. "You're lying."
At this point, Morgan decided to step in. "Oh, he's serious. And JJ's serious too. She doesn't know about your girlfriend, but she does know that you don't have what it takes for the long run, and she'd just as soon be rid of you as have you stick around and make her life miserable. She's a very smart woman, very perceptive, and it's high time you recognized that."
It was back to Rossi. "But I can help you get out of this. If you'll tell Jennifer tonight that you've changed your mind, get cleared out of her condo no later than this weekend and give up all rights to Henry, Jennifer will let you go, and she'll never have to experience the pain of knowing about your girlfriend and whatever else you've been up to all these nights she and Henry have spent alone. You get what you want - an escape - and she gets what she wants - a life without you."
Rossi honestly didn't know what Will would say, but he kept his eyes trained on him until at long last he saw Will nod his head slightly. "I'll do it."
"Good decision," Rossi said as he clapped Will on the back. "I'll see that you have those papers to sign by nine tomorrow morning, and you will be a free man. Been nice talking to you, Will."
***
By the next night, David Rossi was happier than he'd been in a very long time. Jennifer and Henry were staying with him until Will moved out of their condo and out of their life, and if things went Rossi's way, and he was certain they would, they would be staying with him for good in the very near future.
JJ had taken Will's announcement well, feeling relief more than anything - relief that Will had simply admitted he really didn't want to be a husband and a father, and relief that Henry wouldn't grow up seeking his father's approval and affection and receiving only rejection, but most of all, relief that she and Henry were free to pursue the life they deserved, one filled with laughter, acceptance, happiness and love.
She didn't know exactly what had gone down between Rossi and Will, but as she relaxed on Rossi's couch and watched him with Henry, she decided she didn't much care. She and her son were where they belonged. Ever since Rossi picked them up earlier in the afternoon and told her, his hands on her shoulders, his eyes boring into hers, that she didn't have to worry about anything anymore, she hadn't. She'd simply wrapped her arms around him and whispered "Thank you" then "We love you" in his ear.
They spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch together, talking quietly about anything and everything, watching Henry grin and make funny faces at them. If JJ had wondered if Rossi wanted them, all questions would've been erased by the tenderness he showed them, his insistence on seeing to Henry anytime he needed anything. She had no doubts about placing her future, and Henry's, in his strong hands.
Once Henry was down for the night in his crib which had been set up in one of the several guest bedrooms on the second floor, Rossi noticed JJ yawning. He wondered how long it had been since she'd had a good night's rest between staying up waiting for Will to come home and getting up with Henry. "Why don't you turn in too?" he suggested as he rubbed her back. "You're exhausted."
"You're right." She turned from Henry's crib to Rossi's arms. "I can't tell you how good it feels to be here," she said, holding him tight.
"And I can't tell you how good it feels to have you here." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Listen, I know I said that you could stay in here, with Henry, but if you're okay with it, I'd like for you to sleep in my bed, with me. We'll be right across the hall, and we'll have the baby monitor right beside us." He didn't want to push her, but he wanted nothing more than to hold her as they slept.
She smiled up at him and took his face in her hands. "I-I can't do anything yet ... it's too soon after Henry's birth," she said shyly.
Rossi shook his head. "That's not what I was after. We'll have plenty of time for that later, when you're ready, physically and mentally and emotionally." He sighed as he looked into her eyes. "Jennifer, I've been alone for a long time; I knew there would never be anyone for me but you, and I refused to let myself believe that I would be given this opportunity - it seemed like too much to hope for. And now I'm terrified that this is a dream. I want to go to sleep with you, and wake up with you, so maybe I'll start to believe that it isn't."
Tears glistened in her eyes as she considered his words, then stood up on her tiptoes to kiss his lips. "Let's go."
The next morning, Dave woke up well before daylight. The sight of Jennifer on her side, her head on his chest and her leg thrown over his, brought a smile to his face. She had made him her own personal body pillow.
As tempting as it was to stay with her, he had another special someone to check on. He gently extricated himself from her embrace, hesitating only when she shifted and mumbled something he couldn't understand, and made his way across the hall.
He found Henry awake, gurgling and waving his arms and legs. "Good morning, little man," he said softly as he picked up the baby and held him close. "Did you sleep well? I think your mama did, and I know I did, so how about you? Hmm? What do you say we get you a clean diaper and go downstairs and make a pot of coffee?"
No sooner had Rossi poured his first cup of coffee Henry started to whimper. That whimper turned into a full-blown wail in less than ten seconds. "Shh ... there, there, Henry, don't cry ... we'll wake up Mama ...."
His attempts to calm the baby were useless, and, after having determined that Henry did not need to be changed again, he decided that he must be hungry, and he had no idea how to go about feeding him. There was nothing to do but take him to his mother.
Henry kept up his wailing as Rossi carried him up the stairs. By the time he opened the door to his room, JJ, her hair disheveled and her eyelids still heavy with sleep, was sitting up in bed. Someday, Rossi told himself, someday, she will kill me.
"Someone's not happy," she observed, smiling sleepily. "What's the problem?"
"I, uh, I think he's hungry." Rossi joined her on the bed and handed Henry over.
"And that's one problem you can't solve," she giggled as she started to unbutton her nightgown.
Seeing what she was doing, and getting ready to do, Rossi got up, thinking she might want privacy. "I'll go back downstairs. Eggs and bacon okay with you?"
"Fine," she replied, holding in a laugh. David Rossi was uncomfortable, and it was up to her to put him at ease. "But, Dave, you don't have to go - you can stay, if you want ...."
He looked down at Henry, who had stopped crying, intent on having his breakfast, transfixed. "Are you sure?"
"Sure, I'm sure," she replied. "It's the most natural thing in the world. And besides, I think you'd better get used to this."
His heart soared. "Well, then, in that case, scoot over."
JJ smiled as she threw back the covers back so could climb into bed with them. Once he was settled, she rested her back against his chest. "Thanks," he heard her whisper. "Thanks for being there."
"Always," he replied, his voice husky. He was with his family, and all was right with his world.
***
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