Title: Bootylicious
Author: nebula99
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: FRAO/NC-17
Type: Slash
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Summary: "Try everything once except folk dancing and incest." Sir Thomas Beecham.
Author's note: Happy Birthday slash_girl !!!! Hope you have a lovely day. (I know it is slightly early, but that's better than late).

***

"Minds are like parachutes, they work best open."
Thomas Dewar


"You're asking me to hit you?" said Hotch. His eyebrows lifted and his face seemed calm; but Reid noticed the way that his grip on his coffee mug tightened.

"No," said Reid, trying to lighten the mood with a smile. "I'm just suggesting that you could spank me."

"Like I said," replied Hotch, his voice even, "You want me to hit you."

Reid shook his head. "I didn't say that. I said spank - during sex. I'm not asking you to punch me."

Hotch sighed and shook his head. "Semantics, Spencer." He drained his coffee and set the mug back down on the table. "I don't think I can do it, I'm sorry."

"It's not semantics," said Reid, getting up and walking around to where Hotch was sitting. He took hold of Hotch's hands and pulled him to stand before wrapping his arms around him. "Erotic spanking is not the same as domestic abuse. I just thought spanking might be fun."

Hotch took hold of Reid's chin and tilted his face to look at him. Then he kissed him gently on the forehead. "I can't do it, I'm sorry. Slapping, spanking - it's all going to hurt and I can't hurt you." He looked at his watch. "Anyways, we have to leave now or we're going to be late."

Hotch picked up his briefcase and hung his coat over one arm. "Do you want to ride in with me, or shall I drop you at the station?"

"I'll come with you," replied Reid, pulling the strap of his messenger bag over his head. "I'm not in the mood for the train."

--------------------------------------

In car Reid fiddled with the radio, rummaged loudly in his bag and then began to fiddle with the radio again. Hotch swallowed his irritation, letting an outward appearance of calm settle over him, conscious to loosen the death grip he had on the steering wheel.

When Reid changed the radio station for the sixth time, however, Hotch gave up on trying to be calm. "Spencer, what the hell is it?" he snapped.

Reid turned to him with such a wounded expression that Hotch immediately regretted his outburst. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"That's okay," replied Reid warily. He drummed his fingers on his thigh for a moment. "But can we talk - please?"

Hotch had an idea what Reid wanted to talk about and he would have preferred not to, but if he didn't at least let the young man say his piece, Reid was going to fidget him into a stroke. He knew that Reid found it hard to settle when he'd got something on his mind and here, at least, they had some privacy to talk properly.

Hotch nodded and Reid began. "I don't want you to spank me because I have issues, okay? I like being dominated by you in bed because it's sexy, not because of low self-esteem or insecurity." He paused for a moment, gazing out of the window, and then continued. "This isn't connected with my childhood, or any Daddy issues that I have - which I undoubtedly do, but they have nothing to do with my sex life. I just like the idea of being spanked because it's kinky without being weird."

Hotch lifted one eyebrow in response.

Reid gave a small grin. "Okay, it's probably a bit weird. But I just meant a few swats on the ass in bed. That's all."

"Did your parents smack you?" asked Hotch.

Reid shook his head. "No - they didn't believe in hitting kids. And I never gave them any cause to, either. But that's not why I want to try this - I'm not "working through my abandonment issues". I already have a father - I'm not looking for a Daddy."

Hotch smirked at this and then fixed his attention back on the road as the turning for Quantico came up. He took the exit and waited until there was a place to pull over before stopping the car and turning to his lover.

"People didn't hit each other in your family," Hotch said, "But they did in mine. I grew up in a house where violence was the norm and I always promised myself that I would never become like my father." He sighed. "I've never hit Jack, and I never would." Hotch leaned over and stroked Reid's cheek. "So I don't think I can do what you want - I'm sorry."

Reid nodded slowly and then reached for Hotch's hand and squeezed it. "That's okay," he said. "You can think about it."

--------------------------

The day was busy - there was a debrief of the previous case in the morning and then Reid and Rossi had a consultation with some officers who had flown in from Alabama to talk to them. Hotch spent the rest of the day in his office catching up with paperwork that seemed to have doubled in size over night. He was sure these files were breeding and keeping up with them was becoming an almost Sisyphean task.

Hotch had just finished with one pile of manila folders and was contemplating the next one when there was a knock at his door. "Come in," he said, breaking into a smile as Reid entered his office.

His lover beamed back at him. "Are you done?" he asked. "Only I thought we could get Thai food on the way home and that soup place closes early."

Hotch rolled his eyes. "You hated it last time," he replied.

Reid swallowed and nodded. "I think I chose badly," he said. "However, I've been doing some research and apparently the Tom Kha Gai doesn't have as much chilli in it. Besides," he added, "You liked it."

Hotch narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, Spencer?" he asked.

Reid looked affronted. "I don't want anything," he replied quickly. "I'm just thinking about you. And about how nice Tom Kha Gai is going to be."

Hotch shook his head. "Your exact words were "This is horrible - this isn't food, it's a form of endurance and if you ever make me eat here again, I might cry.""

Reid's cheeks reddened as he said, somewhat unconvincingly, "Oh really? I had, um, forgotten that."

"You're a rotten liar," replied Hotch, gathering up his briefcase and coat. "How about pizza instead?" He opened his office door and gestured to Reid to go through.

The two men waited patiently for the elevator. "I'll think about it, okay?" murmured Hotch, only just loud enough for Reid to hear, "So stop trying to bribe me."

------------------------

Reid stopped trying to bribe Hotch after realising that his first attempt had been completely unsuccessful. He didn't, however, give up.

Sitting on the jet, examining the crime scene photos, Hotch heard his phone beep. He reached for it, eyes still fixed on the pictures in front of him, and flipped it open. There was a message from Reid and he frowned at the phone before opening the message. Reid was sitting behind him - why on earth was he texting him?

Then Hotch opened the message. "Erotic spanking has a long history. It's mentioned in the Kama Sutra."

Hotch let out a sigh and shook his head. He thought for a moment and then texted back. "So is polygamy. Nice try."

He heard Reid's phone beep and a moment later was rewarded by a huffed laugh from behind him. Then Hotch tried to turn his attention back to his work. For a few minutes he struggled with half remembered images from the Kama Sutra but eventually he succeeded in putting all erotic thoughts out of his mind.

-----------------------------

Tying up all the evidence and talking to witnesses finally gave the team a vital clue; the unsub was probably finding his victims through the personal ads of the local newspaper.

Later that day, the team were grouped around a table at the local police station sifting through pages and pages of personal ads in the hope that the telltale pattern of words would appear.

Morgan picked up the next page of newsprint and started to work his way through the ads. He groaned and then muttered about the sheer number of them. "Hey Reid," he said, "About now would be a good time to start sharing the secrets of reading like Reid."

Reid looked up with a half smile. "There's no secret," he said with a shrug. "I've just always done it."

"Great," replied Morgan, rolling his eyes. "Guess I'll just keep on in the slow lane." He sighed. "Where the hell does some of this stuff come from, anyway? Looking to meet my callipygian goddess. What does that even mean?"

"Callipygian means having shapely or beautiful buttocks," replied Reid. "As opposed to steatopygian, which means to have fat buttocks."

"Not our guy then," said Prentiss. "Not his type at all."

"Seriously, kid," said Morgan with a frown, "I'm not interested in how you know this stuff - what I wonder is why?"

Reid said nothing but carried on reading through the personal ads.

Later, as they were driving to the hotel together, Hotch turned to
Reid and said "Callipygian?"

Reid snorted. "Not a word that would ever apply to me - I'm far too skinny. There's nothing shapely about me. You have a beautiful ass though." He paused and gave Hotch a sly grin. "Kind of spankable."

Hotch gave a mock groan. "I should have known. You're not going to give up, are you? And "spankable" is not a word."

"Of course it is," replied Reid quickly before worrying at his bottom lip for a moment. "If it really bothers you, I won't mention it again. I just think you shouldn't worry about hurting me. I mean, I don't want you to actually hurt me."

Hotch sighed. "It's not you that I'm worried about - it's me. I don't want to be the kind of person that gets off on hitting you."

Reid shrugged. "Morgan hits me all the time - you're not worried about him."

Hotch frowned. "Do you want me to say something to him?"

Reid shook his head. "No, it's no big deal and I'm getting better at dodging. I guess he thinks it's fraternal bonding. Anyway - what I mean is that you don't become an abuser because you spank me a couple of times."

Hotch considered for a while and they drove on in silence. After pulling into the hotel parking lot and manoeuvring into a space, he turned and looked at his lover. "Where did this spanking thing come from, anyway?"

Reid blushed a little and dipped his head, hiding his face as his hair tumbled over his cheeks. "Garcia," he mumbled.

Hotch felt his jaw clench and when he spoke, it was an effort not to sound as angry as he felt. "You've been discussing our sex life with the BAU technical analyst?"

"No!" replied Reid, his head snapping up. "God, no. Of course not."

"So how is Garcia involved?" asked Hotch, his tone unmistakably icy.

"She isn't," replied Reid, blushing harder now. "Not really." He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "She just, um, a few weeks ago, she, um . . . she was holding a comic book and she, ahh, hit me on the ass with it as I was leaving her office."

"She hit you?"

"I think she meant to just tap me with it, but her chair rolled at the same time and she accidentally smacked me quite hard with it," said Reid, by this time going crimson. "She, um, apologised but it, um, gave me, um, an erection."

"Garcia gave you an erection?"

"No!" said Reid, squirming in his seat with embarrassment. "Garcia did not give me an erection. The book on my ass did and it got me thinking and I wanted to try it in bed."

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Reid was looking at him nervously.

"It's obvious really," said Reid, beginning to speak faster, "My ass is a big erogenous zone for me - in fact, I often rank it higher than my nipples and my neck. Well, maybe not the part just below-"

"You rank your erogenous zones?" interrupted Hotch.

Reid nodded, looking slightly self-conscious. "I read really fast," he said, "I often have to wait while everyone else catches up, so I do stuff like that in my head." He fidgeted in his seat. "I rank other things too." He grinned at Hotch. "I had a really hard time with internal organs - it's so hard to decide between kidneys and liver."

Hotch stared at his lover for a moment, torn between exasperation and a surge of adoration for this peculiar and fascinating young man. A quick glance around the parking lot assured him that they were alone and he brushed his lips lightly across Reid's cheek. "No promises, but maybe - okay?"

"Okay."

--------------------------

Hotch waited for Reid to ambush him with an impromptu lecture on the history of spanking techniques or some cryptic text messages, but instead Reid seemed to be ignoring the issue completely. Hotch was at first relieved and then slightly concerned: he knew Reid really wanted this and was unsure as to the reason for the sudden silence. However, the fact that he was no longer having to talk about it meant that Hotch finally had some space to think about it

And make some decisions.

He took Reid out to dinner on the first free night that they had. They had a long conversation about vacations which mainly involved Hotch attempting to convince Reid of the joys of camping. He thought he had found a riposte for every one of Reid's objections but finally admitted defeat on the journey home. He was forced to concede that it was entirely possible, although incredibly unlikely, for a poisonous spider to be transported from one continent to another in someone else's luggage and then find its way into their tent.

Reid turned to him triumphantly as they headed into his bedroom. "See?" he said with a gleeful grin, "I told you camping could be very dangerous."

Hotch shook his head. "I'm sure those particular spiders are native to Australia. I don't think they'd survive in the Virginia wilderness."

"Most species can be adaptive," said Reid. "For example, lampreys have been known to rearrange their DNA in order to boost immunity. While adaptive behaviour is usually found to develop over time, there's no reason that an individual spider couldn't-"

He stopped talking abruptly as Hotch kissed him. "Stop," whispered Hotch. "I don't want to talk about spiders, or camping, or fish. I don't want to talk about anything at all."

Reid smiled at Hotch and nodded. Then he hurriedly stripped off his clothes and stretched out on the bed, lazily caressing his cock as he watched Hotch undress.

Hotch took his clothes off slowly and methodically, folding them carefully and placing them on a chair. He knew Reid would tease him for it but he didn't care - he liked order. He had just finished undressing when his cell phone rang.

Reid let out a growl. "Leave it," he said, almost whining.

Hotch took a step towards the bed, then turned back to look at his phone. It rang again and Reid huffed an exaggerated sigh. "Answer it then - you'll only spend the whole time wondering who it was."

Hotch smiled his thanks at him and reached for his phone, rolling his eyes at the caller ID. "Sean," he said, striding quickly out of the room, "It's ten o'clock - is everything okay?"

Sean laughed. "I'm fine bro, I just got off early for the night and wanted to ask if you got anything for Mom's birthday yet."

"Already sent," replied Hotch. "I put your name on the card."

"Thanks," said Sean. "I owe you one."

"Actually," said Hotch, "You owe me forty-two dollars. Listen - I'd love to chat, but it's late and I was just-"

"It's okay," said Sean, "Don't keep him waiting. I'll talk to you soon."

Hotch rolled his eyes again. "Thanks," he muttered. "Take care." He hung up and hurried back to the bedroom. As he walked through the door, he saw Reid lying prone on the bed, engrossed in a journal article. Hotch crept into the room and tucked his phone back into his pocket, before tiptoeing quietly to the bed.

Reid turned to look at him over his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

"Just Sean - forgetting that not everyone keeps restaurant hours." Hotch sat down on the bed. "What are you reading?"

"An article on the differences between Kant's and Husserl's conception of transcendental philosophy," replied Reid, taking his glasses off and reaching out to place them on the nightstand.

"Interesting?" asked Hotch, bending to plant a kiss on Reid's naked shoulder.

Reid shrugged. "It's okay. Not as interesting as you though," he replied, moving to roll over onto his back.

Hotch put out a hand to stop him. "No," he said gently, "Stay where you are."

"Why?" asked Reid, a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Because you are my callipygian lover and I want to look at you in all your . . . callipygiousness," replied Hotch.

Reid groaned but stayed where he was. "That's not a word," he muttered.

Hotch moved to straddle him, sweeping his hands down Reid's back. "Who are you?" he asked softly. "The word police?"

"Well I'm not the fashion police," said Reid, before resting his head on the bed and settling into Hotch's touch. "Mmm," he said as Hotch continued to caress him. "That's nice."

Hotch began to massage Reid's shoulder, working his fingers into the muscle. "Nice?" he murmured, "Is that the best word you've got?"

"Mmm," groaned Reid, "Okay - how about very nice?"

Hotch chuckled. "What happened to my walking dictionary?"

"You broke him with massage," mumbled Reid. "Ohh, that's good. Keep doing that . . . that nice thing."

"This thing?"

"Yeah, that very . . . uh . . . nice thing," said Reid, groaning again. He squirmed under Hotch's touch, pressing his body harder against the bed.

Hotch shuffled backwards to give himself more room, and then pushed Reid's hair away from the back of his neck. Leaning forwards, he began to kiss the sensitive skin on his lover's neck, listening to the soft moans this action brought from him. Slowly he began to move lower down Reid's body, kissing his way along his spine.

Reid's voice was muffled but his tone was insistent. "More," he ordered, in between moans of pleasure. It made Hotch smile - his lover gave off such an air of passivity at times, whereas deep down he was anything but. Hotch guessed it was a defence mechanism and it allowed Reid to surprise people who had underestimated him. He had certainly been surprised by how bossy Reid could be in bed.

Hotch continued the trail of hot, wet kisses, marking his path down Reid's spine to the hollow of his lower back. Reid was rocking his hips gently, rubbing himself against the bedclothes and making contented little sighs and groans.

Hotch nuzzled into the warm skin, amused at how lost Reid was in his own pleasure. He kneaded his fingers into the cheeks of Reid's ass, sitting up to watch his lover wriggling under his touch. Hotch pursed his lips, considering for a moment, and then lifted his hand before bringing it down to deliver a swift smack to Reid's bottom.

There was a sharp gasp from his lover, who then lifted his head and grinned at Hotch. "Do it again," he said.

"Hush," said Hotch, "Lie down." He continued to rub Reid's ass. He waited until Reid was facing away from him and then spanked him again.

This time Reid groaned and shuddered. He tilted his hips, pushing his ass a little further into the air. Hotch swallowed and then brought the flat of his hand down sharply onto Reid's ass. The reddening flesh quivered and Reid let out a squeal.

Concerned, Hotch asked, "Enough?"

There was a shake of the head and Reid said, "More," in a choked voice, squirming with obvious pleasure.

Hotch paused, his cock jerking at the sight of Reid like that. Then he slapped him again, harder this time. The sound of his hand meeting Reid's soft skin seemed to echo around the whole apartment. For a moment Hotch could hear nothing else, then he became aware of Reid whimpering softly underneath him.

Hotch hesitated, lightly stroking Reid's back. His lover moaned and writhed, lifting his ass to ask for more, so Hotch obliged, swatting him again, his hand almost bouncing off Reid's skin.

"Uhhh," moaned Reid, "Enough."

"Stop?" asked Hotch.

Reid nodded and Hotch leaned back, wincing at the red marks on his lover's skin. Reid was panting and obviously turned on by this, but it made Hotch pause.

Reid must have felt his hesitancy. "S'okay," he gasped, "Just fuck me." He reached out to tug his nightstand drawer open and then pulled out condoms and lube.

Hotch quickly tore open the foil packet and rolled the condom onto his cock. Then he bent his head and started to kiss the marks on Reid's ass, noting with relief that the redness was already fading. Reid whimpered again, wriggling and whispering, "Fuck me, Aaron."

"Wait," replied Hotch. He squeezed some lube onto his fingers, but before he moved to prepare his lover further, he pushed Reid's ass cheeks apart and quickly dipped his head to run his tongue along the cleft. This produced a frustrated moan from Reid, prompting Hotch to circle his hole with his tongue.

He continued to tease him, flicking his tongue and licking until Reid said in a choked voice, "Just fuck me. Now."

"Patience is a virtue," said Hotch with a smirk, before sliding a finger into Reid's ass.

"Not one of mine," gasped Reid as Hotch quickly added another finger.

Deciding that his lover was ready, Hotch grabbed a pillow and pulled Reid's hips upwards, sliding the pillow under them. Then he positioned his cock and pushed steadily into his lover's ass.

Reid moaned loudly as Hotch entered him, twisting his fingers into the bedclothes and arching his back. Hotch gasped at the heat enclosing him and pushed his cock deeper before pulling back and thrusting with a steady rhythm.

He knew he wasn't going to last long - the noises Reid was making and the way that he was moving were just too exciting for him to hold back. Hotch reached a hand round to take hold of Reid's cock, jerking him as he thrust into his ass.

Hotch saw the muscles in Reid's arm tense and his hands curl into fists. He was moaning with every thrust and pushing back against his lover, guiding his cock deeper into him. Hotch grasped his hip with his free hand and drove harder. His thrusts became more erratic and he increased the speed and pressure on Reid's cock.

The young man tensed and then cried out as he came, covering Hotch's hand in warm fluid. Hotch closed his eyes and tipped his head back, slamming his cock into his lover's ass before he too found his release.

Hotch stayed like that for a moment, breathing heavily and letting his mind refocus after the oblivion of orgasm. Then he pulled his softened cock out and flopped onto the bed beside his lover, reaching out to grab tissues from the nightstand.

Reid gave him a smile and rolled lazily onto his side, taking the tissue Hotch handed him and cleaning himself up before leaning over for a deep tongue-filled kiss.

"Mmm," sighed Reid, "That was nice. Very nice."

"How are your shapely buttocks?" asked Hotch, stroking Reid's hair away from his face.

Reid's lips quirked. "A little bit warm, but not painful." He paused. "And how are yours?"

"Exhausted," replied Hotch. He stood up to pull the covers back and then slid underneath them, pulling his lover into an embrace. "Was it all that you hoped for?"

Reid nodded. "I liked it. I don't want to do that every time, but now and again is good." He kissed Hotch chastely on the lips. "And you?"

Hotch gave a shrug. "You enjoyed it - and I enjoyed watching you enjoying." He reached out and switched off the overhead light. "So, you don't list patience as a virtue?"

Reid shook his head. "Nope. But I do have others."

"Do you rank them?" asked Hotch, caressing his lover's back.

Reid looked thoughtful. "I haven't yet. Maybe I should." He yawned. "But not now."

"Okay," murmured Hotch. He kissed the top of his lover's head. "Are you sure you're not hurting?"

"I'm fine," said Reid, as he snuggled closer to his lover. "I was just thinking there should be a word for the way your butt feels after being spanked and fucked like that."

"Uncomfortable?" suggested Hotch with a smile.

"No," laughed Reid. "There must be one though - German is good for word combinations." He yawned again. "I'll think about it tomorrow - too sleepy now. G'night, Aaron."

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

The End

"Try everything once except folk dancing and incest."
Sir Thomas Beecham

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