Title: Come Live With Me
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3 20_est_relships
Prompt: 17, Home
Author's Note: Inspired by the poem "Come live with me and be my Love," by Christopher Marlowe.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"I hate this apartment."

Aaron's voice was quiet in the silence of their bedroom; Spencer's eyes opened wide as he heard the words, wondering what the other man meant by that. Why did he hate this place? There was nothing wrong with it that Spencer could see.

It took him a few moments to figure out just why Aaron didn't like this place -- and when he did, he could have hit himself for not realizing the reason right off the bat. Of course Aaron wouldn't be comfortable in the place where Foyet had attacked him.

"We can start spending the night at my place, if you want," Spencer offered, wondering if Hotch would take him up on that. His apartment was fairly roomy, but it was filled with books, and sometimes it was hard to find a place to sit down.

He could clear everything up, though, he told himself; he could buy some bookshelves and have them delivered, then arrange all of the books that were stacked on the floor and on chairs on the bookcases. It wouldn't be that hard to get it all straightened out.

But Aaron was shaking his head, quietly but firmly.

"We can't do that, Spencer," he said, his voice even. "I'd like to, but that would make it too obvious that we're involved. And I can't be sure that Strauss isn't having me watched at this point. She wants so badly to get rid of me that she'd jump at any chance of it."

Spencer knew that was true; he couldn't fathom the enmity that their bitch of a superior had for Aaron, but he supposed that her overweening ambition, combined with the fact that she knew Hotch was better at his job than she could ever be at hers, drove her to great lengths.

"Then what can we do?" Spencer asked, wishing that he could pull some magical answer out of the air. He hated the thought that Aaron wasn't comfortable here, in the place where they'd shared their first kiss, where their relationship had literally begun.

Or was that true? he asked himself, frowning slightly. Hadn't their relationship really begun in the BAU offices, with the longing looks that they exchanged? Maybe neither one of them had actually known what they felt then, though -- it had all come to a head here, in this apartment.

He tightened his arms around Aaron, pulling the other man closer against him. He enjoyed spooning with the other man, even though he could feel the tension in Aaron's body; he hoped that just lying here quietly would make that go away.

After a few minutes, Aaron sighed and spoke again.

"There are too many bad memories here for me now," he murmured, as much to himself as to Spencer. "Being here doens't make me feel safe and secure, as though I'm at home. It feels .... temporary. As if I'm not meant to be here."

Spencer cleared his throat softly, tightening his arms around Aaron's waist. "It's always been just your temporary place, hasn't it?" he ventured, unsure of what to say, but feeling that he had to say something. "You've always meant to move back home."

"If Haley would let me," Hotch sighed, shaking his head again. "But she doesn't want me there -- and I really don't want to live in an atmosphere that was like a war zone. She and I will never agree about my priorities, and we've grown too far apart to live together again."

Spencer didn't want to admit that those words gave him a profound feeling of relief. For a few moments, he'd been worried that Hotch was missing his ex-wife, and that he still thought that they might be able to patch things up and get together again.

"Besides, I have you now -- and you mean more to me than she ever could," the other man whispered, as if he could sense Spencer's sudden uneasiness. "I want to build a future with you, not with her. But I want that future to include my son, too."

"Of course it will," Spencer answered, his heart fluttering in his chest.

He'd been waiting for so long to hear Aaron say those words; he wanted to be assured that the other man considered their relationship to be something permanent in his life, something that he could hold on to and build on, to make plans for their future together.

"I worry about Jack being able to understand the concept of his father being with a man," Hotch sighed, shifting slightly in Spencer's arms but not pulling away. "And I worry about what Haley is going to think -- and what she'll tell him -- when she finds out about us."

"Jack's a smart kid," Spencer told him, raising a hand to stroke Aaron's hair. "He's going to figure it out about us sooner or later, you know. It might not be easy for him to understand why we're together at his age, but he will when he gets older."

"I know he will," Aaron murmured, sighing again and turning over to face Spencer. "Are you all right with being something of a father figure to him?" he asked, his voice soft. "Can you handle being involved with someone who's a parent, and making their child a part of your life?"

The question took Spencer by surprise; he had to think about his answer for a few moments. "I've handled it up to this point," he finally answered, nodding. "It might not get easier, but I accepted that Jack will be a part of our lives when I let myself fall in love with you."

Aaron smiled, stroking Spencer's cheek, his touch warm and gentle.

"I knew you'd say that," he whispered, his dark eyes locking with Spencer's. "I think that's part of the reason I fell in love with you, Spencer. You're such a good person. You don't turn away from any kind of new challenge, even if you know it won't be easy."

"Being with you -- loving you and accepting everything about you -- isn't a challenge," Spencer told him, his voice catching in his throat, feeling suddenly breathless. "It's what I was meant to do. I've spent all my life waiting for you. I'm not walking away."

"We might have to walk away from this place," Aaron told him, wincing as his gaze moved around the silent, darkened bedroom. "This room doesn't bother me so much. But when I go out into the living room -- even with the furniture rearranged, I can still feel him there."

Spencer wrapped his arms around the other man, pulling him close and moving a hand down his back. "Don't think about that," he whispered, wishing that he could simply wave a magic wand and make the horrible memories of what Foyet had done go away.

"That's not so easy to do," Aaron whispered, his voice muffled in Spencer's shoulder.

He knew it wasn't. What would he feel like if he had to walk into the room where Tobias Hankel had held him hostage and tortured him every day? How would he react, if he had to see the same space of ground where he'd been violated?

That violation wasn't anything like what Hotch had suffered, but the emotional fallout was similar. He could understand what his boyfriend went through every time his eyes fell on that floor where he'd had to lie under Foyet, his blood seeping into the carpet, wondering if he would live or die.

"We need to find another place," he said, knowing that it wouldn't happen any time soon, but hoping that it would be a plan for their future. "When things have settled down and Strauss isn't on your back at work any more. We need to find somewhere that you're comfortable."

"We?" Hotch asked him, raising his head to look into Spencer's eyes, his gaze quizzical. "Are you saying that you'd live with me?" He sounded doubtful, as if he wasn't sure of what Spencer had just said. "Are you willing to go that far out on a limb?"

"More serious than I've ever been about anything," Spencer answered, keeping his voice soft. "'Come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove,'" he quoted under his breath, smiling as he recited the words.

He could see the tears glistening in Aaron's eyes at his words.

"When the time comes for me to find another place, I promise you'll be right there with me," Aaron told him, his voice barely a whisper. "You're the biggest part of my life, Spencer. You're the center of my world. And I want to know that center isn't going to fade away."

"It never will," Spencer said, pressing a gentle kiss to Aaron's lips. "No matter what happens in our lives, I'll always be with you. I promise you that, Hotch." He knew that he shouldn't make promises he might not be able to keep, but he was determined to make sure that his words were true.

"I believe you," Aaron replied, a few tears streaking down his face. The moonlight shining through their bedroom window illuminated the shining trails; Spencer leaned forward to kiss them away, tasting the saltiness on his lips.

Spencer didn't need to answer; there were no more words that he could say. All he could do was hold his lover closer against him, feeling Aaron's heart beat in rhythm with his own, knowing in his heart that they were meant to be together, no matter what the future might hold.

Tomorrow, he would start looking for a new apartment. One that was right for both of them.

***