Title: Conference Call
Author: nebula99
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: FRAO/NC-17
Type: Slash
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Summary: Besides, these were Bureau phones so technically this was a work call.
Prompt: 027 OMG We Forgot - Technological Mishap for wtf27
A/N: Happy Birthday slash_girl. This is for you. You are a fabulous friend and I hope you have a lovely day.

***

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it.
Truman Capote
--------------------------------------

Dr Spencer Reid flicked through the channels on the hotel room tv before settling on a movie. He'd seen it before but he wasn't interested in following the story. He needed some entertaining images after a long day of lectures and meetings. The Thirty-Second Annual Conference of the American Society of Forensic Psychologists had always been Gideon's star turn and with his departure from the BAU, Reid had drawn the short straw.

Literally.

He was going to make damn sure Morgan ended up with the gig next year - it would serve him right for fixing the draw. How so many experts in their field could make an interesting subject so boring was a research subject in itself. His own paper had gone okay, but he wasn't a natural public speaker and his battles with the display equipment had probably been the most entertaining part of the session. It didn't help that he was the youngest delegate by about twenty years and had twice been mistaken for a waiter.

Reid flopped backwards onto the bed and sprawled on the shiny hotel covers. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, involuntarily counting the tiles and calculating the number required to cover his apartment in Washington. A ringing sound interrupted him and, picking up his cell phone, he smiled at the caller ID.

"Hotch! Do we have a case?" he asked eagerly. "Can I come home now?"

A throaty chuckle was the response. "No case - and no, you can't come home. You are the BAU representative and you have to be at the panel discussion tomorrow."

Reid pouted. "But I'm bored," he whined. "And I miss you."

Hotch laughed again. "You told me you'd never been to San Francisco before. Why don't you do some tourist stuff?"

"It's no fun on your own," sighed Reid. "I wish you were here."

"Me too," said Hotch. "So, what have you done today?"

There was a loud knock at the hotel room door and Reid sat up. "Wait," he said, "I think my room service just arrived."

He heard Hotch laugh again. "You've got room service and you're still whining?"

Reid opened the door and waved the waiter inside. The man placed a tray on the table and nodded at him. Reid told Hotch to hold on and tried to wedge the phone under his chin as he found his wallet and extricated a couple of bills. He tipped the waiter, who retreated gracefully and closed the door behind him. Trying to replace his wallet in his back pocket, Reid moved his shoulder and the phone started to slide towards the floor.

He grabbed it clumsily, fingers squeezing the keypad and brought it quickly back to his ear. "Hotch - you still there?" he asked.

-----------------------------------------

In her bunker, Garcia was distracted from her data search by the sound of Reid's voice coming over the speakers.

"Hotch - are you still there?"

She was about to answer him when she heard Hotch's voice.

"Yes - what happened?"

Reid sighed. "Dropped the phone."

Garcia realised that Reid must have connected to her line by accident. Her fingers hovered over the buttons on her phone to cut him off and then Hotch spoke again, his voice gently mocking.

"Butterfingers, babe."

Garcia swallowed. Butterfingers, babe? That was not the way that a Unit Chief usually spoke to a subordinate. Since when did SSA Hotchner call anyone "babe"? Feeling the need to know more, she moved her finger away and instead pressed mute.

Then she sat back in her chair, twirling her fluffy pen and listening very carefully.

-------------------------------------------

"Yeah? Well I was performing a very tricky manoeuvre," replied Reid. "Something had to give."

Hotch laughed again. "Of course you were, babe. What did you get from room service?"

Reid lifted the cover on the tray and replied, "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chocolate torte and coffee." He paused for a moment. "It is okay for me to have room service, isn't it? I hate eating in hotel restaurants on my own."

"I don't think that order is going to give the FBI any sleepless nights," said Hotch. "It might keep you up though. Did you take your vitamins?"

Sitting back down on the bed Reid nodded. "Yes Mom," he replied with a grin. "Actually peanut butter is very low in cholesterol and high in protein, vitamins and minerals - and the jelly has fruit in it. I think I've covered most major food groups."

"What else are you doing?" asked Hotch.

"Watching Troy," came the reply.

Hotch gave a snort. "Troy? I thought you complained about how inauthentic it was?"

"I know," sighed Reid. "But there isn't much else to do and Brad Pitt and Eric Bana are hot."

"Even in skirts?"

"Especially in skirts," grinned Reid. "Anyway, what are you doing?"

"Well - I've spent the day in the office doing paperwork, so I've just been for a run and - "

"So you're all hot and sweaty?"

"I might be," replied Hotch teasingly. "Has Brad had the same effect on you yet?"

"Maybe."

Hotch gave a mock groan. "I miss you - don't tease me."

"I know," sighed Reid, his hand wandering to his crotch as he swung his legs up onto the bed. "I'm all hot and horny with nobody to play with."

There was a pause and then Hotch spoke, his voice low with desire. "What would you like to play?"

-----------------------------------------

At this, Garcia sat bolt upright, her chair rolling forwards.

"I want to play kissing," said Reid softly. "I want to feel you sucking my neck so hard you leave hickeys."

"Okay," muttered Hotch. "Are you hard?"

Garcia dropped her pen as Reid replied. "Yeah, I'm hard."

There was a clink of a belt buckle and then Reid spoke again. "What do you want to do with me?"

For a split second, Garcia thought she should end the connection. Then she decided that the chance to eavesdrop on Hotch and Reid having phone sex was too good an opportunity to miss. Besides, these were Bureau phones, so technically this was a work call.

-----------------------------------------

Reid closed his fist around his erection and waited for Hotch to reply. They hadn't had sex for days and he had found the enforced celibacy frustrating.

Then Hotch spoke, his voice soft and warm. "I want you to jerk yourself off and imagine that I am kissing you - working my way from your mouth, along your jaw and all the way down the side of your neck."

"Mmmm," replied Reid and then he spoke again. "Where are we?"

"Does it matter?" replied Hotch, puzzled.

"Yes it does," said Reid. "If I'm going to picture this properly, I have to know where we are."

"How about in my office at work?" suggested Hotch wearily.

Reid considered this for a moment and then nodded. "That'll work. I could be leaning back on your desk while you kiss me." He moved his hand up and down his cock. "You are standing between my legs with one hand underneath my shirt - the grey one." He paused. "The grey one you don't hate."

"Okay," replied Hotch with a smile in his voice. "Now keep touching yourself and think about me undoing the buttons on your shirt." Then he added, "I've already taken your tie off, by the way."

Lying back on the bed, Reid squirmed a little, enjoy the friction as his cotton shirt rubbed against his chest. "Can you bite my nipple?" he asked.

"It's your fantasy too," replied Hotch patiently. "I can be doing whatever you want." He paused for a moment and his voice took on an edge. "I'm biting your nipple. I flick my tongue over it, then catch it between my teeth and bite down hard. Feel good?"

Reid's response was to set the phone down on the pillow next to him and pinch one nipple roughly. He groaned aloud and then picked up the phone again. "Open my pants," he asked, his breath coming faster. "Touch me."

"I'm touching you," replied Hotch. "I'm pulling on your hard cock and you are loving it. And now I'm getting on my knees and sucking you. I'm taking your cock right into my mouth - do you feel it?"

"Yeah," gasped Reid, stroking himself faster. "I can feel it. Oh god, suck me please."

Hotch gave a groan and then spoke softly. "Your dick is in my mouth and I'm sucking it, taking it right in. I'm jerking myself off with one hand and the other one is holding your balls.

"Oh god," groaned Reid. "I'm fucking your mouth." He moaned into the mouthpiece and then asked. "Did you lock the office door?"

"Yes," sighed Hotch. "Unless you want a voyeur?"

Reid thought for a moment. "Morgan. He's watching."

"Do you want him to join in?" asked Hotch, sounding resigned.

"Not this time," panted Reid. "He can just watch." He moaned again, feeling his balls tighten. "Oh god."

"Let me hear you, babe," whispered Hotch. "I'm sucking you off and I want to hear you yell as you come in my mouth."

Reid moaned, pushing up into his fist. He was so close. He just needed to tip himself over the edge. "I'm fucking your mouth," he gasped. "I can see Morgan and he's staring right at me. His dick is hard and he's watching. You deep throat my cock and . . . oh god." He cried out as his orgasm took over. "I'm coming. Oh god, I'm coming. Fuck!"

-----------------------------------

Garcia held her breath and leaned forwards. This was unbelievably hot - she had never imagined the shy quiet Doctor Spencer Reid being so filthy. And getting off on being watched?

She continued to listen as the room filled with the sounds of Reid panting and groaning softly. Then there was a sharp intake of breath and a long deep moan from Hotch. Garcia giggled. Naughty, naughty boys.

------------------------------------

Reid sighed contentedly. "Aaron?" he asked. "Did you enjoy that?"

"Yeah, I did," replied Hotch. "Very much." He chuckled. "I didn't realise you had such a kink for being watched."

Reid smiled. "Neither did I. It was kind of hot having Morgan there."

Hotch snorted. "Don't go getting ideas."

"Don't worry," replied Reid, "He's straight. And besides, Garcia would kill me." He rolled onto his side and snuggled into the bedclothes. "I still wish you were here though. I want a cuddle."

"I know, babe," agreed Hotch. "I wish I could hold you right now." He sighed. "You'll be home soon. Go and eat your dinner and watch Brad being manly."

"Okay," replied Reid. "Call me tomorrow?"

"Course I will," said Hotch. "And when you get into bed, I want you to think of me curling up behind you, putting my arm around you and holding you tight as you fall asleep. It'll be like I'm there with you."

"I will," said Reid, pulling a pillow over and clutching it to him.

"Sweet dreams, babe," murmured Hotch. "And don't forget I love you."

"Love you too," whispered Reid and he kissed the phone before ending the call.

--------------------------------------------

Garcia smiled indulgently as the click indicated that the accidental conference call was over. Reid's fantasies had been quite a revelation and she knew she was going to have difficulty keeping a straight face with both him and Hotch when she next saw them.

She turned back to her work, unsure which had been the biggest surprise - the fact that Hotch and Reid had hot phone sex or the fact that Aaron Hotchner called his lover "babe".

She decided the latter.

--------------------------------

There's nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head.
Thornton Wilder

***