Title: Connected
By: DaPimp
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except a massive debt for my education. Oh and a newly acquired bowling pin.
Note: So this little ditty was inspired after watching an amazing lecture called 'The Last Lecture - Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams' by Professor Randy Pausch. It's a beautiful lecture and it's on YouTube, *hint hint* and yes its 75minutes long but I highly recommend it. His book is also a really good read.
Summary: This is set around druggie Reid time, I'm thinking after 'Jones' but before 'Ashes Dust'.

***

"When we're connected to others, we become better people."

Randy Pausch

Hotch took a moment to survey the sight before him, in the flurry of activity that was the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit, was their resident genius, Dr. Spencer Reid, sitting at his desk staring blankly at the file in front of him. Hotch was worried, if they didn't do something soon they would loose him, it had almost happened in Georgia and here he was, back at work and battling demons no one else could see. Gideon had tried to help the young genius but Reid had shut down, insisting that he was ok, no one wanted to believe otherwise.

"Reid, could I see you in my office for a moment?" Hotch called across the bullpen. Reid looked up, mild interest written across his face, he nodded and closed the file before starting towards Hotch's office.

Hotch entered his office and took his seat behind his desk, he gently placed some official looking files towards the edge of the desk, he didn't need to intimidate Reid at the moment. He heard footsteps and looked up, Spencer's look of mild interest had been replaced with one of boredom. "Take a seat please Reid." Reid shuffled over to Hotch's desk and took the seat opposite his superior, the polished desk surface glinting slightly in the afternoon light.

"Reid- Spencer, we're all worried about you, are you sure you're ok?" Hotch said, never being one to skirt around an issue.

"Yeah, sure." Reid replied with a blank look as he stared at the desk between them.

"We are all concerned Spencer, you've been distant, unfocused and you snapped at Prentiss. I really think it might help if you talked to someone, I could give you some more time off, set up an appointment for you with the Bureau's psychiatrist or one outside the Bureau, whichever you are more comfortable with. We just need to know you're ok Spencer." Hotch said, silently praying that Spencer would just look at him, even once.

Hotch saw the moment Reid's face flashed from a blank mask to one of anger, "You don't care about me, none of you do. You're just worried that your precious human computer is going to stop working, well don't worry, it's fine." Reid snapped.

"I'm going to let that slide Spencer, I understand you've gone through a lot recently, we just want to help you." Hotch explained, a frown creasing his brow.

"I'm fine. Sir." Reid replied, glaring at his reflection in the surface of Hotch's desk, "I don't need to be babied. I said I'm fine and that should be enough. I don't want or need help, I'm fine so just back off."

This wasn't like Reid and Hotch was sick of this new attitude. The Reid they knew and loved was kind, gentle and somewhat naïve. Reid was crying out for help, they had to break through somehow, but Hotch knew that wasn't going to happen. Reid had to want their help, they could push with all their might but if Reid didn't want their help they weren't going to gain any ground. If he wanted to be treated like he wasn't a member of their BAU family then fine, he would treat him like anyone else, what happened in Georgia didn't matter and he didn't deserve any leeway.

"Ok then Reid, you're work has been sloppy lately, it's not up to your usual standard and if you plan on staying in the BAU then you have to get your act together. Here's the report you gave me yesterday, its barely passable. Take it back, do it again." Hotch dropped the case file on the desk in front of Reid, "I want it back before you leave tonight."

Contempt burnt in Spencer's eyes as he glared at Hotch, "Is it missing any critical information? Did I leave anything out Sir?"

"No," Hotch replied with a small shake of the head and a withering stare, "it's got all the right information but it doesn't read as well as it should. It's jumbled and confused, like you weren't sure what you were supposed to included and what was relevant, you were clearly unfocused. I was going to fix it but you're ok, you don't need me to. You're wasting time Reid, I recommend you get back to work."

Reid glared at Hotch, hatred clearly written across his face. He stood up, snatching the file off the polished surface and stormed out of the room. Hotch's face was sorrowful as he watched Reid cross the bullpen, he just wanted the old Reid back.

How dare he? What did he know? No one cared about him, they just cared about his intellect, if they cared nearly as much as they claimed to they would have noticed the signs earlier, he wouldn't be carrying vials of Dilaudid with him. Dilaudid eased the pain, the memories and the guilt, something none of them had even tried to do.

"Hey kid, what's up with you?" Reid looked up to see Morgan standing beside his desk, a frown forming on his face.

Reid stared at Morgan for a moment, what right did he have to pry? "Nothing, Hotch is just breathing down my neck about this file." Reid replied as he turned his back on Morgan and started to work on the file.

Morgan continued to stare at Reid's back for a moment before taking a deep breath, "Reid, you know he only does it cause he cares right? If you're screwing up and no one's saying anything to you it's because they don't care, they've given up on you. We're not going anywhere kid, we're here when you need us." he gave Reid's shoulder a quick squeeze and settled back down at his desk.

Maybe they did care… Reid looked through the window into Hotch's office, he looked exhausted. It was then that Spencer realised that they really did care, he just hadn't wanted to see it. He needed help.

"When you are pissed off at somebody, and you're angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time. Just give them a little more time — and they'll almost always impress you."

Randy Pausch

***