Title: Back into the Darkness
By: TheLovethief
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Just an odd little thing that came to my mind. Thanks to AA for beta reading ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.
Summary: He knew he needed to get to the light. Then everything would be alright. Angsty oneshot.

***

The world was dark – pitch-dark. Not a glimmer of light brightened the path he was walking. Was there even a path? He just kept walking, step by step.

Keep moving.

From a distance he could hear noises; muffled undefined noises. Music, voices, traffic…it was hard to tell. He knew he needed to get there. Noises meant people and civilization. Light.

Where am I?

It was getting harder to walk. The ground was not smooth; there were stones or other obstacles, slowing him down. A few times he stumbled and almost fell. His breath became quicker and more shallow with each second passing.

How did I get here?

Rossi. He remembered. He'd been searching an abandoned building with the older agent. They had been looking for an Unsub; a serial rapist who they suspected was hiding in the house. But then everything had gone wrong. The batteries of the torches had died and David Rossi had somehow disappeared.

"Dave?" He wanted to shout, but all he managed was a rasp whisper. He'd left the building, knowing that the Unsub was probably somewhere inside, lurking. He'd wanted to wait for back-up rather than blindly walk into a trap. He knew he should have stayed near the building, but it was so dark now, out of the sudden. He didn't like the dark.

"Dave?" he called again, anxiously. Since there was no reply, he decided to keep walking in the direction where the noises came from.

Suddenly he could see something. A tiny spot of bluish light. Floodlights perhaps? It didn't matter to him. He knew he had to get to it. Maybe Hotch and the others would be waiting there for him already. The transmitter had stopped working at the same moment the torches had gone dark. It was so strange.

He stumbled more than he walked towards the light spot, the glimmer of hope. He wanted nothing more than to get out of the blackness. He could hear his heartbeat echoing in his ears. Too quick and too irregular.

Fear. It was the same damned fear he'd experienced so many times as a small child. The fear of not being able to see what was coming. And there had always been something to fear. Every time the door to his room had been opened. So quiet, almost not perceivable. It had been dark then, too. Dark and silent, only the familiar 'sshh' before the actual ordeal.

"Dave? Where are you?" Another breathless whisper as his foot bumped into something hard and he fell over, crashing down onto the irregular ground.

"What are you doing, Reid?"

The sudden voice nearly made his heart stop. Lying in the dirt, he frantically turned his head from one side to the other to make out the person talking to him.

"Reid!"

His eyes were wide open, but it was too dark to see anything. He felt dizzy and couldn't figure out who the owner of the voice was. It sounded familiar, yet oddly strange.

"W…who are you?" he asked, unable to hide the shiver in his own voice.

"What kind of question is that? Why didn't you wait in front of the building? I warned you not to pull such stunts, Reid."

His mind was racing, trying to process what was going on. However, it didn't make sense. Not in the slightest.

"Hotch?"

"I wish you would have caught the rest of that movie, Reid."

"What?"

But he didn't get another reply. He heard steps, moving away; fading in the distance.

"Hotch? Wait!"

"You should get up, Reid. You're going to catch a cold."

He swallowed.

"Emily? I'm looking for Dave…"

"What is the matter with you?"

He stared into the dark, wondering what he had done wrong.

"W…what?"

"I've never seen you act like this."

She sounded so disappointed, almost shocked. What was going on? He struggled to get up off his knees. The fabric of his pants stuck to his shins. Was he bleeding?

"Emily, we need to get the team. The Unsub is still in the building."

Silence.

"Emily?"

It was then that a gun shot broke through the darkness. He could almost feel the bullet flying past his head. He instantly brought his hands to his ears, flinching at the painful ringing in his skull.

"Oh God," he murmured and started to run. He didn't know where, but any other place seemed to be better.

"You killed him!" someone shouted from behind. "Confess!"

But he didn't listen. Something was very wrong, something he couldn't comprehend – not even remotely.

Run…

His hands still covering his ears, he ran straight towards the blue light spot. He needed to get there. Why? He had no idea.

A hand suddenly grabbed his arm, yanking him back.

"Hey kid." Morgan.

Morgan? Oh thank God, I'm safe.

"Morgan, I don't know what's going on. I'm looking for Rossi…we split up and…"

"What the hell I scaring you?"

He looked at the face he couldn't see because it was still too dark.

"You don't need to worry, kid. I told everyone. They know."

The hand of his older colleague was still gripping his arm and he stopped struggling.

"What? W…what did you tell them, Morgan?"

A soft laughter. "They know what happened to you. What the other kids did to you. Don't worry."

No.

"No! You had no right. I confided in you!"

But the hand was already gone. He turned around, looking at the light that seemed to be much closer now. Cold sweat was running down his face. He shoved wet strands of hair out of his face and started to stumble towards his destination again. The road had become even stonier and it was getting more and more difficult to walk without falling.

Move on.

"Spence?"

Ignore it. Move.

"Spence, we shouldn't split up again."

She can't be here. Something is wrong.

"I almost got killed because we split up, remember?"

Move on.

"Spence!"

The light. He decided to focus on the blue light. Somewhere deep inside he was sure that everything would be ok as soon as he arrived there.

The darkness around him became less threatening the closer he came to the light. Light was hope. Light would stop the nightmare. The light…

…was suddenly out of sight because it was blocked by a dark figure standing motionless before him.

He stopped short.

"Who are you?" he whispered fearfully.

"I'm sorry, Spencer."

He froze. Please, no…I can't deal with this.

"I never meant to cause you any pain."

"Please, don't," he begged in a small voice.

"You must be afraid. I'm sorry."

He tried to step aside to catch a glimpse of the light again. He needed the re-assurance that there was still hope; a goal; somewhere to go.

"Can you help me, Gideon? I need to get out of here."

But his mentor's voice was already fading; the shape seemed to slowly dissolve. "I told you already. I don't understand any of it anymore."

"Gideon?"

The light was there again, but the man was gone.

He took a shivering breath.

Move on.

He was so close now. The light was very bright; piercing blue cutting through the darkness like a sharp knife. Only a few more steps and he would be able to touch it. He reached out and tried to feel it. The moment his finger tips made contact with the blue fluorescent light, however, he felt another hand grabbing his own.

"Spencer," the female voice he'd known all his life said. "You're in danger."

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

This is not supposed to happen. This isn't real. I need to get out.

"They are watching you. They are watching us."

"No, mom," he replied, trying to draw his hand back. "You're not here. I'm not here. It's all wrong."

"Spencer, please don't do this to me," she begged in the same tearful tone she'd used back then, when he had to send her to the clinic.

"Let me through!" he demanded and stepped forcefully forward, right into the light.

He found himself engulfed in bluish brightness. It was cold, but at least not dark anymore. He turned his head and looked around to see if any of his friends were there awaiting him.

A smile spread on his face as he could finally see his team standing close by with friendly expressions on their faces.

"Finally!" he exclaimed and made an attempt to step closer. But the happy moment didn't last long. Suddenly the light was gone and replaced by darkness again.

"Reid, come on!" Rossi said casually and pointed towards the entrance of a seemingly abandoned building. "The Unsub is most likely in there. Be vigilant."

The young man shook his head. For a moment he'd let his mind drift, but he couldn't remember where it had gone.

He nodded at Rossi and followed the older agent into the dark house. They climbed the stairs and checked the rooms, assuming that the serial rapist was hiding somewhere inside the building. He walked along the corridors, lightening dark corners with his flashlight.

"Rossi?" he whispered, wondering where the other man had gone.

Suddenly the light went out and he was trapped in pitch-black darkness…

"It's been 19 days now, Agent Hotchner."

The team leader stood in from of the hospital room, looking through the small window at his youngest agent. Reid lay motionless on the bed, a white blanket covering his thin frame. Just like the day before; just like last week and the week before that.

"Did you get the test results?" he asked the doctor.

The man in the white coat nodded, an earnest expression on his face. "He's ok, physically. In all honesty, we have no idea why he doesn't wake up."

Hotch frowned. On the flight back from a case Reid had fallen asleep – and never woken up again.

"However, we did an EEG and noticed a remarkable brain activity," the physician explained. "He's probably dreaming. Vividly."

The unit chief nodded and silently went into the room. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and looked closely at his agent's face. Reid's eyes were moving under closed eyelids and his fingers tightened rhythmically around the bed cover.

Hotch reached out and gently shook his agent's shoulder. He'd done that so many times in the past days and it hadn't worked yet. But he kept trying. He had to keep trying.

"You need to wake up now, Reid," he murmured evenly. He tried to sound authoritative, knowing that the young man had always responded to authority figures. Not this time, however.

Hotch sighed and got up. "I hope that's a pleasant dream keeping you from us." He smiled bitterly and left the room.

The young man stepped once again into the light, not knowing that he'd been here so many times already. He saw his friends smiling and was thrown back into the darkness.