Title: Days of Our Lives
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Doctor Who/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 2, letter100
Prompt: 34, Months
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Spencer Reid, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Dear Spencer,
It's been a while since I wrote you one of these letters; I haven't felt that I had much to say that I couldn't get out in a conversation lately. But in the past few days, I've felt the need getting stronger to put some feelings into words via writing that I'm finding it hard to say.
In all the time that we've been together, I've almost literally felt us getting closer, both physically and emotionally. I've been close to people before, obviously. I've had other lovers, and so have you. But I've never felt as close to anyone before, in so many different ways.
Maybe it's because you and I are both extremely intelligent, and I've never met any other human who's been able to keep up with my thought processes -- and even outstrip them at times. But there's something about you that draws me inexorably towards you.
It's hard for me to believe that when I first met you, I didn't know how intelligent you were! It was just your smile and the expectant look on your face, so open and honest, that drew me to you then. And I've never regretted that attraction for one moment.
How long have you been with me now, love? I know that it's been months, but I have a terrible tendency to lose track of time. Bad for a Time Lord, I know -- but then, time has never been something that I had to worry about much, because all of time is open to me.
Over those months, I've gotten closer and closer to you. At first, when I found out that you had a problem with drugs, I was dismayed because I thought that it might take you away from me, that you would choose not to be with me rather than to let me help you.
But that didn't happen. Instead of pulling away from me, you reached out with both hands for my help -- and I was more than glad to give you that help. I only hope that I'll keep doing that, and your problems in that direction will stay a thing of the past.
So far, they have, for all of these months that we've been together. I don't think you'll ever go back in that direction again; you're much too strong of a personality to give in to that sort of weakness once you've managed to get yourself past it.
You're so much stronger than you want to give yourself credit for, Spencer. I saw that when you were struggling to overcome that drug problem; I couldn't help but be impressed with how you turned yourself towards overcoming that problem with every fibre of your being.
For most people, doing something like that would have taken months, if not years. But you overcame it in a matter of days -- and you've been strong enough to stay away from any kind of temptation. Most people wouldn't be able to do that.
Of course, that has something to do with me, too -- I'm certainly going to try my best to make sure that sort of temptation isn't put into your path. But I think that even if it was, you would be able to resist it. You're too strong a person to give in to that weakness again.
Over the last few months, you and I have grown so close that we've become a part of each other. I don't think I can imagine my life without you -- and there's always a part of me that's terrified you might choose to go back to Earth, back to your job with the BAU.
My hearts know that you'd never do that; our commitment to each other is too strong for you to suddenly decide that you want to leave. But I've had so many human companions say that they wanted to be with me forever -- and then reverse that decision later.
You're not like my other companions, I know. For one thing, you're far more intelligent; for another, you're much, much more than a companion to me. You're my lover, the person I want to spend a lifetime with. You're more to me than anyone else could ever possibly be.
It hasn't taken me all these months to know that. I've felt that way since the beginning, to be honest. I've known since the first time you saw the Tardis that you belonged here. It just felt right in so many ways for you to be with me, to be a part of my world and my life.
And over the months that have passed since then, I've only become more and more sure that you belong here, with me. I know that you did good work with the BAU, and that you enjoyed that life. But I think you can do just as much good for the world here with me.
I don't discount everything that you did for the BAU, sweetheart. I know that you helped them to catch criminals, and that you were a valued member of their team. But I also think that it wouldn't have been enough for you in the long run. You would have wanted more.
Maybe that's presumptuous of me to say, but I feel that I know you well enough by now to be able to say that without wondering if I might be wrong. The BAU was wonderful for you, love, but you would have grown away from them over the course of time.
I suppose it's possible that you might grow away from being with me, as well. All I can do is hope that you won't, and that our relationship will last for your lifetime. That's really all that I ask -- to be with you for as long a time as the two of us are granted with each other.
Over the days and weeks and months and years and decades to come in our lives, I hope that you'll be able to find everything that you need to make you happy, Spencer. I want you to love the life you lead with me, and to be fulfilled in everything you do.
I'll do my best to make sure that happens, for all of the days of our lives together -- as well as all of the weeks, months, and years I hope to be able to spend with you, far into the future, and beyond. And I hope that every one of those days, weeks, months and years are filled with happiness for both of us.
Always your
Doctor***
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