Title: Dessert
By: TheLovethief
Pairing: gen
Rating: G
A/N: This is my contribution for the Bad Fic Competition. LOL There's still time for you ppls to enter the competition. We received some pretty bad entries already :D
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. 'Thank God', you may say after reading this LOL
Summary: It was something the BAU had to do. There was just no point in arguing. Written for the BAD FIC COMPETITION!

***

The conference room was dimly lit. It was very early in the morning and most agents had not yet arrived at the bullpen of the FBI headquarters in Quantico.

The profilers of the BAU sat on their chairs around a table which was round. That was why the room was called 'the round table room'.

SSA Aaron Hotchner, primus inter pares, sat on the most comfortable chair with his hands folded on the shining surface of said table.

"You know why we're here," the leader of the team said, a stoic yet subtly passionate expression on his face. He leaned forwards, his eyes slowly wandering from agent to agent. He sought eye contact with each of them, knowing that his own earnest gaze would underline his words perfectly.

The others nodded. They were all there, exhausted but unwilling to yawn in front of their boss.

"I know you're all tired," Hotchner continued. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the table top, revealing his inner agitation. "But we have to do what we have to do."

Emily Prentiss winced. There was something so very superior in her superior's silken voice – it made her shake with fear and shudder with arousal.

"The order came from above. Strauss came to me personally." Hotchner explained to make sure everyone understood how pointless it would be to argue.

Derek Morgan groaned, instantly drawing everyone's gazes towards him.

"Yes, Morgan?" Hotchner asked, his dark eyes glued to the dark face of his sometimes very insubordinate subordinate.

"Is it really necessary, man? We just did it a few months ago," Morgan said, leaning back in his chair.

The other profilers held their breath. The hazel eyes of the youngest team member, Dr. Spencer Reid, went wide at Morgan's attempt to question Strauss' order.

"It's been six months," Hotchner replied. His voice was even, yet there was an unmistakable note of anger in his statement.

"I know. It's just…"

"We have to do it every six months. You know that, Morgan."

The younger agent was about to counter again, but Emily Prentiss put a calming hand on his shoulder.

Hotchner watched him swallow another remark. "It's supposed to improve the team dynamics."

Agent David Rossi smiled slightly. He threw a glance at Reid who'd been looking at him almost all the time since they'd arrived. The young man always did – at least when he wasn't reciting something. Then Reid used to stare into space, his eyes moving as if he was reading. These were the only occasions when he didn't check out David Rossi's physical features.

"Can't wait," Rossi commented wryly.

"Me neither!" Technical analyst Penelope Garcia called excitedly, not noticing the sarcasm in the profiler's voice.

Hotchner looked at her, stoic as ever. "Yes. Well. Ok. Let's get dressed."

Of course they were dressed already. What the team leader meant was a change of clothes. The group silently went down to the lockers room.

Half an hour later the team was on the plane, heading towards their goal. Hotchner, for once, was not wearing his suit but a shirt with a colored check pattern and worn out jeans which highlighted the perfect shape of his backside. Rossi had settled for his favorite brown lederhosen, combined with a plain white T-shirt. Prentiss wore a dark blue overall and had tied her hair back into a sporty ponytail. JJ had put on her shiny red short pants and an equally shiny yellow top that almost matched her hair color. Garcia had a similar outfit, only her shirt was pink and not yellow. The women stared at Morgan who was wearing his tightest gym clothes. Reid stared at Rossi. The youngest agent had replaced his gray sweater vest with a light blue sweater vest. He didn't want his gray sweater vest to get soiled.

After a short flight the plane finally landed. The team climbed out, looking around to take in the environment. The sun was shining from above and the birds were singing in the trees. There was a wide, very green, flowery meadow.

"There's grass in Virginia too, you know," Morgan said grumpily. "Did we have to leave the state for that?"

Hotch looked at him, stoic. "Yes."

And with that they started their biannual hiking day.

Hotchner and Rossi walked ahead, leading the group. Behind them walked Prentiss and Morgan, followed by JJ and Garcia. Reid was a bit behind because he kept stopping to examine the plants and insects on the way.

They walked across the meadow, through light woods, chattering, discussing the profiles of serial killers and rapists.

It was quite a joyful trip.

Suddenly Hotchner stopped short, causing the others to come to a halt as well.

"Here," he said and pointed at a seemingly random spot in the grass.

The other agents nodded. They moved to the place their boss had chosen and began to prepare the ground for the BAU picnic.

Prentiss pulled a blanket out of her back bag and spread it on the grass. Meanwhile JJ and Garcia brought out the snacks. Morgan and Rossi quickly collected some wood to make a little fire. Hotch supervised. Everyone had their tasks.

After a little while they were done and finally sat down to continue with the picnic.

"I made these teeny-weeny super delicious cheese-salami niblets," Garcia chirped as she lifted the plastic bowl with said teeny-weeny super delicious cheese-salami niblets.

Hotchner took one and put it in his mouth.

Garcia held her breath as she watched him chew.

"Good work," he stated, quickly reaching for the water bottle.

The blond woman smiled. "JJ? Want one too?"

The media liaison shook her head. "I already had a piece of that apple," she explained, pointing at the red fruit.

"Sir?" Garcia asked and offered the bowl to Rossi. He took two.

"Reid?"

The young agent snapped out of his daze when he heard his name. He'd been staring again. At Rossi who sat opposite to him.

"Uhm…"

"I want my dessert now," Morgan said before Reid could reply.

Hotchner wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. "Reid, do you have it?"

"Uhm…"

"You had order to bring the dessert, Reid," the team leader said as he gave the young man a stern look.

"I did, wait a second." Reid reached for his satchel and started rummaging through the stuff in there.

"Don't tell me you forgot it, kid," Morgan groaned.

"No, I…" Reid kept searching. "Ah! There it is."

He grabbed the two vials with Dilaudid and a multipack of syringes.

To bring the good stuff to the team's hiking day was Reid's job, since he knew all the reliable dealers.

He prepared the syringes for his colleagues, careful that each one contained the same amount of 'dessert'.

"Good job, Reid," Hotchner said as he took his treat. "Now everyone lie down. Whoever wakes up first will wake the others," he ordered.

Reid watched his team members shoot up. Or rather: He watched Rossi shoot up. The young man got all excited when he saw a slight grin spread on the older profiler's face. Reid waited for Rossi to pass out and then crawled over to lie next to him. He put his arm over Rossi's broad chest and closed his eyes, smiling. Reid didn't take any of the liquid dessert, of course. He had his very own.