Title: Trust Me... I'm A Doctor
By: MrsWolfDragonFisherPrincess
Pairing: Reid/Hotch & implied Reid/Gideon
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Criminal Minds or the Criminally AWESOME people... They belong to CBS and Mark Gordon. I just Borrowed them for a second.
Summary: Reid and the team get a call that gets out of hand when an old friend re-joins them and throws things out of whack.***
"Without Faith in one another's abilities, where would the world be?" – James Peterson.
"Ready to go Pretty Boy? Wheels are up in thirty."
My best friend and coworker of the past 6 years, Derek Morgan was standing beside my desk, watching me in interest as I sped through a new book.
"Uh-hu. Bags' over there."
I waved in the general direction of the baggage cart used by the BAU. He snorted.
"Some book hu? What the HELL are you reading that you can't look up for ten seconds?"
He sounded amused, not angry. Sighing in annoyment, I looked up.
"A case study on the effects of Dilaudid on street kids in lower class cities. It is very interesting. I've only had it twenty minuets and I'm almost done."
I immediately looked back to my book.
"Kid. BREATHE. You ain't gonna die if you don't finish the book in ten minuets. Come talk to Rossi with me."
Now he sounded irritated. I looked up at him. His long, powerful arms were crossed over his broad chest, and he was frowning at me. I felt slightly bad for upsetting him.
"Why do we need to talk to Rossi? Debriefing is in ten. Can't it wait?"
"It's not about the case. It's about Hotch. The fight you two had. I want to know what Rossi is going to do about it."
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Derek to want to probe a problem he had nothing to do with. I growled under my breath and stood.
*No point trying to deter him now. Here goes nothing. *
Together we walked up the stairs of the bullpen to the SSA control offices. Straight down the lane way and on the left was my boss, David Rossi's, over-sized office. I had been in it twice since he had taken over. More when the previous owner was still around. Derek knocked on the door and stuck his head in causally. After he had stepped in he grabbed my arm and dragged me in after him. Rossi looked up and spoke in confusion:
"To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? Debriefing is in 10 you guys."
Der nodded.
"Hotch and Pretty Boy got into a fight this morning. NOT a fistfight, but big enough fight to have Baby Girl on red alert thinking they wanted to go 'Ok-Corral' on the each other. You need to watch your boy, Rossi. He can't be stepping out on Reid like that. Reid's got a temper that will have him stepping right back, and then we will have problems."
He re crossed his arms and glanced at me. I looked at Rossi and decided to speak. I mean, Why not? They were talking about me after all…
"It was not that bad Agent Rossi. Garcia blew it out of proportion. Hotch and I had a disagreement. That is all. Did you know that only 2 out 10 work place confrontations result in physical violence? Or even volume escalation for that matter? Hotchner and I were safely in the 8 out of 10 who stay low and respectful. I swear. Derek is just being protective as usual. I would come to you myself if things between myself and anyone on the BAU team were bad."
I glared at Morgan. He glared back and looked at Rossi. He sighed and spoke again:
"I'll talk to Aaron on the jet while we are en route to Springfield. Now, take this to the briefing room?"
We nodded and trudged down the stairs to the debriefing room. JJ and Emily were sitting together looking thru the new dossier, examining the crime scene photos and discussing possible M.O.s. My secret boyfriend, and Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner, was sitting at the head, talking to Garcia, going over surveillance tapes. Rossi, Morgan, and I walked in and sat down. Morgan sat next to Garcia, draping an arm around her shoulders. Rossi took Hotch's now vacated seat at the head, and Hotch and I sat together in the middle. Rossi nodded to JJ. She stood and started the briefing.
"Multiple homicides in Springfield, Illinois. Same victim type but the pattern of the murders is evolving. The first victim, 23 year old accountant named Cyrus James, Strangled, dumped in the local park. Victim two, Tobias Vic, 22, tax preparer, COD exsanguinations due to sharp force trauma. Also dumped in the park. Last known victim, James Andrews, 24-math teacher at the local high school. COD was…GSW to heart. Dumped in the park."
I spoke up, trying to make light and bring up the mood.
"This unsub must ~REALLY~ hate math."
No one laughed. My lame attempt to cheer up the desperate looking team was shot down in 1.3 seconds. I tried again.
"We know the UnSub is evolving, right? What causes evolution? We know three basic stressors: Money, Family, and Mental health. So. Let's look at this: Do the killings look like robberies?"
Morgan studied the pictures. Shook his head. Everyone followed suit.
"So. We rule out money and robbery as stressor factor. Do the victims fit into the same physical and structural type? Do they look similar? Faces, hair, eyes?"
General murmur of agreement from my team. This was helping me step up as what they knew me as, the genius.
"So. They look similar. Could be a familial stressor. Do the killings appear methodical? Does the Unsub show ritual? Habits in the killings?"
Again the team nodded. Aaron spoke up, looking at the plasma screen, studying the three victims.
"The Unsub left a calling card. Look. Just below the heel of all three victims. Strips of purple clothe. At all three scenes. Garcia? Magnify times three? Please and thank you."
Garcia hit a key on the keyboard in her lap, and the pictures were blown up three times their original size, and there, beneath the right heels, were strips of purple clothe. How had I missed that? Emily spoke up.
"The strips are ragged. Probably torn from a blanket. Were any fibers found on the bodies after coroners pronounced?"
JJ checked the dossier. As she examined it I glanced at Aaron. He was talking quietly to Rossi. They looked intense, most likely discussing this case. Aaron flicked his eyes to me and gave me a brief smile before returning to Rossi's conversation. JJ looked up and got our attention.
"The first victim had purple fibers in his nasal passage. The other two were clear."
We all nodded. Rossi stepped up.
"We have an old hand joining us; he will be here in about 5 minuets. Once he gets here, we are in the air and off. This case has our undivided attention, just as I'm sure the Unsub wanted."
Morgan and I left the briefing room together, heading to the bullpen. Once we got there, I flopped down at my desk and started piling papers and my book into my ever-present messenger bag. I had just grabbed the case file dossier when I heard a voice I had only heard in dreams for the past 4 years asking for David Rossi's office. My head shot up on its own accord and I found myself looking at my former mentor, boss, and lover. The last 4 years had been kind to Jason Gideon, his tall solid frame drawn to its full 6'2" height as he stood in receiving. His thinning brown hair was swept to the side, and his deep brown eyes were smiling as he spotted me watching him. His smile only grew wider as they allowed him thru and he approached me. I faltered and backed away, the pain and anger and confusion I still felt over his wordless departure sparking up to the surface. He spoke quietly, gently, like he was soothing a frightened animal.
~Is that how he sees me now? ~
"Spencer. How are you? You look…Amazing. Your hair…got long. It looks good on you. Can we talk? Not now, clearly, but later? I need to explain some things to you."
I stood staring at him. Aaron came rushing down the stairs, and grabbed my shoulders, trying to asses if I was okay or not.
"Dr. Reid? Come with me. Agent Gideon, we discussed you not approaching Dr. Reid until later. C'mon Spencer, lets go talk."
Hotch was shaking in anger, clearly pissed over Jason talking to me. When we got to his office, he closed the door and sat me down. He gently touched my face, tilting it up to his. His brown eyes were wide with worry.
"We only have a moment before we leave for the jet. I wanted to be sure you were okay. That was wrong of Agent Gideon. I will be sure to talk to David about it. Look at me, are you okay?"
Instead of voicing an answer, I leaned up and pressed my lips lightly to Aaron's. He responded by returning the gentle kiss. We separated and I spoke quietly.
"I'm fine Aaron. Just…Confused. I'll be okay. I have you here, you're coming with us, and so I'll be fine. More than fine. Perfect."
He nodded, kissed my forehead, and walked to the door. I took that as a sign that we needed to go. 15 minuets later the BAU team was loaded on the jet headed to Springfield, Illinois. I was playing War with Derek and Aaron. Rossi, Gideon, JJ, Emily, and Garcia were discussing the dossier. Playing cards with me were always a risk, because, A) I'm a magician, and B) I'm a genius and never lose. Today was no exception. Derek let out an irritated huff as I declared war on him. I won. As usual. Aaron laughed and ruffled my hair.
"Ever thought maybe you should LET Derek win once in a while?"
I looked offended.
"Why, Aaron that would be cheating. Not my fault Derek sucks at cards."
Derek leveled me a playful glare.
"Not my fault you use magic tricks and genius games to CHEAT, Pretty Boy."
I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed, reaching for Derek's hand. He grabbed my hand and squeezed, smiling broadly.
"You know I love you, Kid."
I nodded and nuzzled his fingers. He softened his grin and sat back asking to play again. Aaron claimed he was in, so I said I would play too. I noticed Jason watching me. I ignored him. We played 5 more games. I won all of them. Derek finally gave up, laughing that I was a cheater, SOMEHOW. He didn't know how, but I was. I just laughed at him. We landed and headed to the hotel. When we got there Rossi called rooms.
"Gideon, you're with me. Hotch. Your own. Garcia, your own. JJ and Prentiss. Together. Reid and Morgan, together. Questions?"
We all shook our heads. Derek and I headed to our room laughing at Garcia's joke about a classified get-together. Hotch was on the other side of us. He grabbed me and pulled me aside.
"Can we talk a minute?"
Teasing him I shook my head.
"No. Of course. Now?"
He nodded, and I followed him into his room. The door shut behind me and he turned to look at me.
"Rossi says Derek has a problem with our argument this morning. But that you claim it was not any thing to be worried about. He is not sure what to think. He is considering sending me back to Virginia for this case. I thought we delt with this issue this morning?"
I sighed.
"We did. Garcia dragged Derek into it and he got protective. He treats me like a child. Worse, HIS child. I wish he would let me go do things on my own. I'm sorry. I tried to fix it. I guess I made it worse."
I flopped down and growled under my breath. Aaron sat behind me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck.
"Don't worry about it. I'm not mad. Just…wondering what went on."
I leaned back into his arms and closed my eyes, happy to be there with him. My phone started ringing. Groaning, I answered it.
"Dr. Spencer Reid."
"Where you at Pretty Boy? You disappeared."
"With Hotch. Why, miss me Morgan?"
"You wish. Just thought it was odd you were behind me one minuet then gone the next. See you at dinner?"
"It's a date Mocha Man."
He laughed at that.
"Bye."
"Bye."
I lay back on Hotch's bed and closed my eyes. He lay next to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close. We dozed off and woke to my cell phone alarm 2 hours later. I gently shook Aaron, trying to wake the older agent.
"Aaron? Time to get up babe. We have to meet the team for dinner."
He lifted his head sleepily.
"Mmmm-hm. M-k."
Then he flopped back down. I laughed and pulled him upright, gently kissing down the side of his face and neck trying to wake him up. That worked. He opened his sleepy brown eyes and sighed.
"Guess we should go downstairs."
I nodded. He stood and staggered to the door. I bit back a giggle. He glared, not finding this amusing.
"Why must you make fun of me while I am half-asleep? That is not very kind Dr. Reid."
"Sorry SSA Hotchner. Let's go get some dinner."
We walked into the dining room and found the team ordering drinks. They all looked at us curiously. Jason looked angry. Rossi questioned us.
"Where were the two of you?"
Aaron answered for me.
"Dr. Reid and I were going over the dossier and dozed off while doing so. He had a hard time waking me up. Is that a problem for any of you?"
He glared around the table, daring anyone to challenge him.
Derek spoke looking at me, ignoring the death glare coming from Aaron.
"You almost stood me up, Pretty Boy."
"What?"
"Our 'Date'?"
I laughed as I remembered.
"Oh yeah. I was not standing you up. I was arriving…what's the term, Garcia? Fashionably Late."
Garcia nodded and smiled at me.
"You are always fashionable, Dr. But if you take my Sexy Special Agent out again, I may have to kill you."
She winked at me, and I returned the wink and grin. Jason watched me silently as I sat between Derek and JJ. I looked over to Derek and laughed at the jokes of my team. He continued to watch me and as we got up and headed for our rooms. Derek linked his arms with mine and Garcia's, and started singing loudly. Embarrassed, I tried to get him to quiet down. A hand slid across my back, and thinking it was Aaron kidnapping me from the obnoxious Morgan again, I veered sharply to the left, following the guide of the hand. As I pushed open the door to the stairs I turned. And was promptly stunned.
"Jason."
He looked at me in surprise.
"You didn't realize it was me? Spencer...You forgot my trick? It has not been that long, has it?"
I backed into the wall. This was bad...I did not want to be there, not with Jason Gideon anyway. He was the VERY last person I wanted to even think about at the moment.
"Look. I know you're still hurt, angry...I understand... but I need to explain why I left. Can we go to my room and talk?"
Shaking as though I was going thru Dilaudid with drawls, I nodded. He led the way up the stairs to his room, and once we were in, he shut the door and sat in the chair at the desk. Not caring how short and angry I sounded I spat out:
"What do you want to say? Just say it and let me leave. Or you can leave. Your good at that, aren't you?"
Jason flinched and looked at me in surprise. Then a look of realization crept over his face. It hit him and hard as he finally understood what was going on with me.
"I ~HAD~ to leave Spencer. I was on the verge of a mental break, and the department issued a leave. I HAD NO CHOICE. I didn't want to leave you but I had to. I told you that in the letter."
The anger flared up, fresh as a new wound.
"NO. All you said was that you were leaving to save what you had. You said…you said that the team would go on without you. That I would go on without you. WELL GUESS WHAT? I did. So don't come back to this family after ABANDONING US, for 4 years, and tell me you HAD to do it. That is bullshit. And I know it. You forget. I'm a genius."
He looked stunned. Then he his face crumpled and a tear slipped down his face. I found that I felt no remorse what so ever, in fact…I felt better. He deserved to be in some form of pain after all the tears, and sleepless nights, and countless drinks pounded to forget the burning in my heart. This was harsh, very not…Spencer of me. I did not care though. He hurt me. He lifted his head, his face streaked with tears. Shakily, he spoke,
"I see where you are coming from. I hurt you. But understand where I am coming from. I DID NOT WANT TO GO, Dr. REID. I loved…and still do love…you, with all my heart."
I shook my head and stood. I had to get away.
"We have a case to solve. Personal matters should not be discussed right now. People are dying. Innocent people. If you'll excuse me, I have a profile to create."
With that I stood and left. Quietly, I let myself into my room. Derek was asleep on his bed, and I noted that he had left a dossier copy on my bed, with a post it saying 'Reid, JJ wanted your ~Expert~ opinion on the fiber issue, xo Garcia.' Sighing, I picked it up and leafed thru it, looking at the pictures, magnified by Garcia. The fibers had been found on only the first victim, but the cloth, which matched the fibers, was at all three scenes. I stayed at for three hours, working until midnight. My head was throbbing by the time I went to bed.
At 6:45am the next morning, the alarm clock in the room went off, waking Derek and I from our slumber. My head was killing me, but Derek seemed to be fine. He grabbed my arm and heaved me out of my bed.
"C'mon Pretty Boy. Time for work. Go shower and put your geek suit on."
I groaned and clutched my head. I staggered back to my bead and lay back down, curling into the fetal position, trying to alleviate the migraine that was ripping thru my skull. Derek panicked, trying to figure out was wrong. He flew form the room, shouting for help. Seconds later, Hotch and Rossi came flying in.
"Dr. Reid? Can you hear me? We called for an ambulance. You're going to be okay. Hang on."
I struggled to sit up, to tell them to recant the ambulance.
"No. I'm fine…Just a headache. I'll be fine…"
They all looked at me. Then Hotch spoke, looking stern.
"At least let them look you over, Dr. Reid. You appear to be in a great deal of pain."
"I'll be fine; can we please just go down and start working? I found something."
Sighing everyone headed to the door, Morgan supporting me. The medics arrived as we got to the doorway. They checked me out and said I should be fine. With that, we headed to the SUVs, and I lay my head on Hotch's shoulder, trying to make the pain subside. To no avail, my temples continued to pound until we arrived at the police station to present our findings from dinner the night before. We were introduced to the task force assigned to the case, and we set up shop, Garcia heading down the hall to the camera room to set up surveillance watch. JJ, Prentiss, Hotch, Rossi, Gideon, Morgan and I set about taking statements and looking at the paper work, forming the profile base. 3 hours later, we had our profile set in stone. Rossi and Gideon called the task force to the conference room and we gave the profile.
"The Unsub is most likely a white male, in his early 30's. He comes from a well educated background, with an abusive family past."
Derek stepped up to insert:
"He kills a different way every time to symbolize the scattered home life he suffered. He was probably a foster child at one point in his life."
Prentiss added,
"He chooses victims that resemble someone of authority from his past, a teacher, or counselor, or even social worker."
I stepped up.
"He uses purple cloth to mark the body because purple is soothing to him, almost like a security blanket. He will be wearing something purple."
Gideon spoke at last.
"He will be carrying a gun. Use caution when approaching him. He won't hesitate to shoot."
With that the group dispersed to put the profile out into the wind. We had nailed it down. Now we needed a suspect. Garcia was typing up a storm in the computer bank as I staggered in to ask if she had yet chased the lead I had tossed her. She looked up and smiled her usual wide toothy grin.
"Prepare to want me. I have for you, my smexy young genius, your prime suspect, coming to you live, in Penelope Garcia HD. Meet Justice Adamius Strauss. 30 years old, white as a bed sheet, and all around icky. He looooves the color purple, and parked the victims' cars at their hotels within days of their tragic demises."
I shook my head in awe. Penny was too much at times, but never, ~ever~ not enough. She nailed it once again. I failed to see why she was not a field agent. She for sure had the brains and the guts. Nodding now, I smiled, ignoring the now more insistent throbbing in my head, I spoke.
"That is amazing Garcia. Thank you. I KNEW we could count on you to track this. No other lead panned?"
She shook her head, sending blond curls bouncing around her shoulders. The ladybug boppers on her head bobbed up and down as she watched me pace.
"What? I thought this was the one Dr. Reid. Why are you acting so...Sketchy? Don't you think it's him?"
I looked at her and shot a brief smile.
"Yeah. Of course I do. Just... Something is wrong here..."
"Like? He fits the uber icky person profile.33, white, male, foster kid, abused, ICKY... Not seeing what could be wrong here."
Shrugging I headed to the break room to tell the team about Strauss. As I entered the room the team was watching me with a serene look. Hotch looked puzzled.
"Garcia and I have a suspect in mind. His name is Justice Adamius Strauss. 33 years old, white male, valet at the Hyperion Hotel on 56th street. He valeted for all the victims right before they died, and his uniform is, your going to love this one Jase, purple. He was a former foster child, who was sexually abused by his father and physically abused by his mother. And... He packs heat. He registered a Smith & Wesson semi automatic .09 mill two months ago."
Derek clapped and got the whole room doing it.
"Bravo Divo. You always nail the hard ones. We'll pick him up. He at work right now?"
"He should be the work card said he works this week everyday 5am to 10 pm. You better get on rounding him up. He is going to be slippery."
Der nodded and motioned to Hotch and Gideon, who followed him out the door and down to the waiting SUVs. They took off, leaving JJ, Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia and I behind to dwindle the day away. They came back at 1800 hours, with the suspect on hand, ready to interrogate. I stood on receiving, watching the interro, wandering what his motivation had been. Why kill three innocent men? What was the connection? Derek started the interrogation and I watched in disgust as Strauss admitted that he killed those men. He said he did it because they were "fags." It pissed me off that people could kill another human being simply because of their orientation. Derek asked how Strauss chose his victims. He claimed they chose him, coming on to him at the local bar. Unable to listen and stay objective, I turned and walked away. Upon entering the break room, I slammed my fist into the wall and cursed loudly.
"Damn it!"
A warm hand touched my shoulder, and Hotch's voice filled my ears.
"I understand that this upsets you Reid. But we HAVE to stay objective. If the team finds out about us... It would be all bad. We would be reviewed by IAB and all the team would be upset... Just keep it cool."
Then his soft warm lips grazed my neck and I melted back into him, happy to away from Strauss and the horrible truth that was anti-gay America. This made me sick, but what could I do? For now, this moment, everything was fine; I was safe, and wanted and loved with the man of my dreams. Then, as quick as it started, the moment of tranquility ended. Gunshots ran out and people started screaming. A hand seized my arm and pulled me away from Hotch, dragging me out into the corridor, down the laneway, outside, and pushed me into the wall, hard. Justice Strauss was a tall, good looking man, with blond hair and glittering green eyes. He leveled a Beretta Semi Auto .09 mill at my chest and whispered as though to a lover,
"Ready to die Fag?"
Then he popped off six rounds into my chest. I convulsed and slid down the back wall, struggling to draw breath through the lungs the bullets had butchered. The doors flew open to my left and out flew three figures, all wielding guns. More shots rang out and I coughed, spewing blood. A hand pushed at my chest, trying to stop the bleeding. A face swam in and out of focus. I could just barely see Aaron's face as he franticly tried to keep me alive. He shouted to someone for an ambulance, tears pouring down the normally so steady, so steely face. The bus arrived and he rode me out. When I got there, I blacked out. When I came to, I was hooked up to a respirator and wrapped heavily in gauze. I coughed and to my surprise, there was no blood in it. I looked around, and saw that I was not alone. Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, Gideon, Rossi, Garcia, and of course, right at my side, Hotchner. They were all sleeping in various places around the room, looking uncomfortable. Aaron's right hand was near my left, and I stretched my fingers out to brush his gently. He jumped sharply and raised his head to look at me and check if I was awake. When he saw me staring he smiled and whispered softly:
"Good morning Gorgeous. How do you feel?"
I groaned softly and shifted slightly.
"Like a lunatic emptied a gun into my chest and I almost died. Oh, and then my secret boyfriend saved my life by riding me to the hospital."
He smiled again and leaned in to kiss my forehead. As he did, Morgan opened his eyes and saw it. I tried to push Aaron away, but it was too late. Morgan knew. I looked down and Morgan approached us.
"Hey kid. How you feel? Wait don't answer. Probably like crap. I'm just glad you're okay. You know Hotch and Gide made a shot dummy of Strauss, right? They emptied their service guns into his sorry ass. It was poetry in motion. Got give them their props."
He leaned down and nuzzled my head, sighing deeply. I tensed, ready for him to say something about Aaron. When he stood straight and did not say a word, I was stunned. He just walked back to his chair and sank back into it as though nothing had happened. My heart was racing and all I could think was that Morgan knew my secret. Slowly, the team awoke and greeted me. They all dispersed, leaving Aaron and I alone. Three days later, I was released to the charge of the BAU Unit Chief. Aaron arrived to collect me and we headed to the hotel to get my things so we could go home. The whole ride, neither one of us spoke. We sat in silence, him clutching my hand tightly from where he sat. As we got to the hotel, Aaron spoke for the first time.
"Morgan...He told the team about us. It was not on purpose, but they know. Things are a little... awkward right now. Just so you know."
I sighed and nodded, to show my comprehension of the knowledge divulged to me just then. He smiled briefly, and then got out, before coming to my door to let me out. As the door opened, I swung my arms around Aaron's neck, and kissed him fiercely. Now that they knew, why should I bother hiding my feelings for my lover? He hesitated before kissing back, pinning me to the SUV and holding my face to deepen the kiss. I moaned into his mouth, pressing closer, trying to get as close as we could given where we were and the position we were in. Maybe things would be okay after all. This was what we had hoped for, for the longest time, the chance to be ourselves in the open, not having to hide who and what we were. We separated and walked, hand in hand, in to the hotel to get the go-bags. We got on the elevator and rode to the 6th floor, where the team was assembled. They had all converged on one room, Garcia's, and were all laughing about something as I walked past. Since her door was open, they all saw me walk past, and Morgan shot out after me.
"Reid. Hey, C'mere kid. We need to talk."
I spun to face him as we stood in the door to our room. The humiliation of being outed by my best friend stung almost as bad as Jason's wordless departure 4 years ago. I glared and spun back to the door, opened it and stepped in to pack my bags. As we packed, Morgan tried to make conversation. He failed. I made it quite clear that I was mad, and hurt.
"Look, Kid, it was an accident. I didn't mean to tell them. They asked why he wasn't leaving you alone and I said he loved you and they said 'WHAT?' and I was all 'He loves him' and then they knew and it was NOT on purpose. I would NEVER hurt you like that Reid. You are my best friend. You got to believe me man."
I just shook my head and walked to the door, trying to bite back the anger. Did he really think that would make this better? That I would forget being outed? He was denser than I feared.
"Derek...Do you get what you did? You OUTED Aaron and I. That is the biggest taboo in the gay world. You may have alienated me from the rest of the team, for the rest of my life."
He looked shocked and sad. Then he lurched at me and embraced me hard. He was shaking like a leaf, and I felt bad for making him so scared. This was a bad feeling, like a hole was being drilled in my heart. His deep brown eyes, just a shade darker than Aaron's, were hazy as he looked at me. He slowly lowered his face to mine and inhaled slowly. My heart was slowing to an almost stop. He was in pain, I could clearly see that. My lips parted and I spoke softly.
"I forgive you Der. You were not trying to hurt me. You were just trying to make them understand."
He crushed our bodies closer and started to laugh. This was the relationship we had always had. Fight then make up, within seconds. But that, though frustrating, was what made this such an awesome relationship. We drew apart and grabbed our bags, heading for the jet. Once we had boarded, everyone settled into their normal positions, and settled into their typical routines. Hotch, Morgan and I played cards, and to my surprise, Gideon, Rossi, and JJ joined us. Garcia and Prentiss watched me like a hawk to ensure I was not cheating. We all laughed and played around like nothing had been changed about the status of the relationships within the team. Garcia sat behind me and started playing with my hair... Too late, I realized she was making little braids. Everyone found this supremely amusing, most especially Morgan. He remarked that all I needed was to dye my skin and I could be his brother, which was racist, but kind of funny. As they all settled down and started to fall asleep, I studied each member of my team closely. A lump formed in the back of my throat. This was what I had always longed for. A Family. More than just a mom I had to take care of, who was always suffering mental breaks. A father who took off because the truth of something my mother had seen was too much… who had never come back because I was too much. I had everything here at the BAU. JJ and Emily were the cool older sisters I never got to have. Always showing me what to do and trying to help me keep cool when I was losing it. Derek was, in every sense of the word, my older brother, always looking for the ways to keep me out of trouble, fighting with me when I was annoying, comforting me when I was scared or upset. Rossi was the father I never had. Always going hard on me in front of everyone, so he looked like a hard ass, but in private, he was always trying to teach, and protect me. Garcia was the X-rated mother, always watching out for not just me, but the whole team, calling us her 'doves'. And then there was Aaron. What was he in this family circle? He was the husband. My loyal, faithful, and devoted husband, who went to any and all lengths to keep me happy, and for that I was grateful. This team was my life. And I hoped against everything that they knew that. I leaned my head against the cool glass of the window. Looking out I could see Virginia below me. I sighed. I was home, safe, and with my family. Life was as good as it was going to get.
" We are all thrown into this world with one thing in common: the need for family. Without one, we would perish."- JP MONUEX
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