Title: Everything Counts
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Doctor Who/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: Amnesty in January, 5_prompts
Prompt: Cadenza Challenge, Title section -- Everything counts
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Spencer Reid, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

"I wonder what things are like on Earth right now?" Spencer mused, glancing over at the viewscreen on the wall, though it was blank and empty. "And what I'd be doing if I was there? I feel kind of useless just sitting around here doing nothing."

The Doctor looked up from the console, soberly regarding his young lover. "Doing nothing? But you're not doing nothing, Spencer. You're here with me, being my companion. You watch my back when we're out exploring new places. You do a lot."

"I don't mean all the time," Spencer objected, getting to his feet and starting to pace around the console. "I mean like right now. I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs, while you're doing something with the Tardis' mechanisms. I feel like an anachronism."

"Now there's a word you don't hear someone use every day!" the Doctor said with a soft laugh. "Sorry," he added, seeing a fleeting look of annoyance cross Spencer's handsome features. "I wasn't demeaning your words, or your feelings, love."

"I know that," Spencer said, sighing softly and shaking his head. "I just wish that I felt like I did more around here. Just watching your back when we're not on the ship isn't enough. When I was in the BAU, I felt like I had something to add to the team. Now, I .... don't."

"You don't think that you help me just by being here?" the Doctor asked, his voice soft and a little hesitant. Spencer's eyes widened in consternation as he detected the undertone of hurt in the Time Lord's tone, the slight trembling of those words.

'I didn't mean that!" Spencer hastily told him, wishing that he'd never said the words. But they were out now, and he had to try to explain what he meant, how he felt. "I just feel like I don't do enough," he sighed, trying to put his feelings into words.

It was impossible. There was no way for him to explain to his lover what he was feeling, how frustrated he was that he didn't seem to do anything that really helped the Doctor, especially when they were here on the Tardis and not out in the universe somewhere.

"You do so much for me," the Doctor said softly, straightening up from where he'd been leaning over the console and regarding Spencer with a somber expression. "Just by being here, you're doing a lot. So many people wouldn't want to be here with me."

"How could anybody not want to be here?" Spencer couldn't imagine that there was a single person in the universe who would turn down a chance to see so much of the world, not just the one that they were used to, but the world that existed beyond the stars.

Why would anybody turn down a chance to be with a man like the Doctor, to see all of the sights and discover all of the new places he could show them? He could understand not wanting to spend their lives here, but not wanting to come here at all? That was a mystery to him.

Of course, he did want to spend his life here. But that was because he'd fallen in love with the Doctor. He felt that his destiny was with this man; he couldn't imagine leading a life that didn't include the Time Lord, and that meant being here by his side.

He wanted to be here, wanted to be with the Doctor. He just felt that he had no real use here, other than being a companion -- and a lover, he added -- and keeping the Doctor company. He needed to feel that he was more useful than just being window dressing.

Spencer knew that he kept the Doctor's loneliness at bay, and that was definitely a good thing. He would never want the man he loved to face that loneliness again; he himself knew all too well what it was like to feel alone, as though no one really cared for him.

But he needed to be more than just the man who the Doctor loved. He needed to feel that he was doing something to help the Time Lord, something that justified his place here on the Tardis. He needed to feel that he wasn't just here for no reason.

"Just having you here means everything to me," the Doctor said, his voice still slightly hesitant. "There have been so many companions who said they wanted to stay with me, and then changed their minds. Is that how you feel, Spencer? Do you want to leave?"

Spencer shook his head, moving to the Doctor and wrapping his arms firmly around the Time Lord's waist. "No! I want to be with you. Leaving would kill me," he whispered, his words muffled against the softness of the other man's hair. "I'm right where I belong."

"Then what's wrong, love?" the Doctor asked, his voice barely a whisper. "I know you're feeling restless, and I can understand that. When you were on Earth, you were used to going to work every day, doing a job that was important -- and even putting yourself in danger."

"That's it, I guess," Spencer admitted, heaving a sigh. "I feel like I don't really do anything here. I'm your companion and the guy you love, and that's important to me. But I don't really do much of anything to help you, other than just keep you from being alone."

"And don't forget that you watch out for me when we're not on the ship," the Doctor told him, raising his head and looking Spencer in the eye. "That's important, Spencer. I never know what could be waiting for me anywhere I go. By being with me, you help to keep the world safe."

Spencer nodded, though he wasn't quite sure of the Doctor's words. "It just doesn't feel like I count for much in the world sometimes," he admitted with a sigh. "I felt like I was using what I was trained for in the BAU. I don't do that here."

"Everything counts, Spencer," the Doctor told him, his voice soft and husky. The other man cleared his throat before he continued speaking. "Everything that you do, everything that you were trained for, is going to come in handy sooner or later in our travels."

"Are you sure about that?" Spencer furrowed his brow, wondering how his training with the FBI could have much bearing on what he might find on another planet. "Profiling killers isn't going to do much good to us. My more practical experience might help, but --"

The Doctor shook his head, smiling softly and placing a finger against Spencer's lips. "Listen to what you're saying. You've had so much experience with going into new situations, Spencer. Your job, your training, everything you've done has prepared you for being here."

Spencer's eyes widened as he took in what the Doctor was saying -- and realized that the Time Lord was right. Everything that he'd done in the BAU, the profiling, going after the unsubs -- had prepared him for his life with the Doctor, in so many ways.

His experience with tracking down criminals could only be a help to the Doctor. He knew how to look for things that other people might miss -- and he was used to having the backs of his team when they went into a dangerous situation, which would always be helpful to the Time Lord.

He belonged with the Doctor; all of his training and experience had brought him to this pont, and everything he knew could be put to good use. He was more of a help to the man he loved than he'd ever thought he could be, in so many ways.

"Everything counts," the Doctor told him, moving his finger from Spencer's lips. "All of your experience, all of your knowledge. It will all come into play at some point, Spencer. Don't ever think that you're useless to me. Without you, I would be lost. And alone."

"I don't want you to be alone," Spencer told him, slipping his arms around the Doctor's waist and hugging him close. "So it looks like I'll be here with you for a long time." That thought lifted his spirits, made his heart light and his mind relieved of worry.

The Doctor's smile was all he needed to tell him that he'd said the right words. And for some reason, he suddenly didn't feel useless any more. He had a reason to be here, Spencer told himself, a smile coming to his lips. And he'd never lose sight of that reason again.

He was here to love the Doctor, to be with him. He could use all of his experience with the BAU, and all that he'd learned there, as well as the knowledge that he'd gleaned from books. And in times like this, when they weren't out and about, he could sit back and relax.

Everything did count, he told himself, agreeing completely with the Doctor's words. Everything that he'd done in the past, everything that had led up to him being here. It all counted -- and he would find a way to put all of that knowledge and experience to use when it was needed.

***