Title: The Way of Fate
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Adam Jackson/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: writers_choice
Prompt: #415, Fate
Author's Note: Spoilers for the Criminal Minds episode "Conflicted."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Adam Jackson or Spencer Reid, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Spencer stole a glance at Adam as he handed the younger man a mug of tea; he seemed to have settled in well, but there was still an aura of nervousness about him, a sense that he was waiting for some kind of axe to fall and bring this idyll to an end.

What if that very thing were to happen, and he discovered that he'd made a mistake in thinking that Adam was all right and taking him out of the hospital? He didn't want to believe that it could be a possibility for Amanda to come back, but he had to consider it.

Maybe he should have thought about that more before he'd impulsively decided to bring Adam here, Spencer told himself. Well, it was too late now -- he was here, and Spencer wasn't going to let him go back to where he'd been even if this didn't last.

He knew that Adam was terrified of Amanda taking over again; he was afraid of it himself. He'd seen that cold, empty look in Adam's eyes when the young man was taken over by his alternate personality; he didn't want that look to come back. Not ever.

Hopefully, it wouldn't -- but there was no way of knowing if it could happen again. The rest of the team had told him so in no uncertain terms; Morgan had even been insistent that he had to take Adam back to the hospital and let him make his own life.

But Spencer had steadfastly refused. Adam needed him; more than that, Adam trusted him. He had been the person that Adam had asked for when the alternate personality had disappeared; he had been the one who Adam had placed his faith in.

He couldn't let Adam down. He'd had to bring the young man here; Adam had nowhere else to go, and Spencer couldn't bear to think of him being alone, trying to make his way in the world and feeling confused and unwanted.

Adam deserved better than that. He'd spent so long trying to help the young man, trying to make Amanda leave and let Adam live his life; now that it had happened, he couldn't simply turn his back and walk away from what he felt was a responsibility.

"Are you sure that it's okay for me to be here?" Adam asked hesitantly, looking up at Spencer as he took the mug of tea from him. "If you'd be more comfortable with me getting a room somewhere, I can do that. It's not like I don't have some money saved up."

Spencer shook his head emphatically, waving a hand in the air. "No, I want you here with me," he said, looking directly at Adam, wanting to convince the young man of his sincerity. "You don't need to be alone, especially in a new city that you're not used to."

"I wish I knew how to thank you," Adam said shyly, looking down into the steaming tea as though he could read something there in the swirls of liquid. "I didn't think you'd want me to be here with you. I just asked for you because you ...." his voice trailed off, his tone wistful.

"Because I what?" Spencer asked softly, wondering what Adam had been about to say before he'd let the words stop so abruptly. "Adam, you don't have to thank me. I wanted to help you from the beginning. I"m just glad I could do something for you."

"Is that all there is to it?" Adam asked, his voice very soft, almost inaudible. "I thought ...." He sighed, shaking his head and looking away from Spencer. "Never mind. I read too much into situations, I guess. I just thought you felt more than just some kind of responsibility towards me."

Spencer blinked, feeling a little disoriented. What was Adam trying to say? Could his feelings possibly run deeper than Spencer had thought possible? If that was so, then maybe his own feelings weren't so wrong -- and maybe he shouldn't try to keep suppressing them.

He'd had feelings for Adam from the very beginning, even before he'd known that the young man had an alter personality -- feelings that had been hard for him to hold back. But he'd managed to do so; he hadn't told anyone how Adam had made him feel.

He hadn't even wanted to admit those feelings to himself, but he'd spent a lot of time thinking about them. He had often wondered if fate had planned this for him -- to fall for someone who he could more than likely never have, and who would never be able to return those feelings.

But somehow, fate had given him another chance. It had removed Amanda from his path -- and it had brought Adam back into his life in a way that he'd never thought would happen. The world was open in front of them -- if he could reach out and take what was being offered.

Adam had been brave enough to take that chance by asking for him -- reaching out to him, needing his help. How could he have refused? All of the feelings that had been jumbled up inside of him when he'd first met Adam had come back full force, even stronger than before.

Was it fate that had driven Amanda away for good, and brought Adam back to him? Or was it simply some miracle of science, something that he'd never be able to explain? Spencer wanted to find a simple, reasonable explanation for it, but he couldn't.

Fate. It wasn't something he'd ever believed in, not really. But maybe he had to now; there didn't seem to be any other explanation as to why he and Adam had been brought back together, after he'd convinced himself that he would probably never see Adam again.

"No, that isn't all there is to it," he murmured, choosing his words carefully, wanting to be completely honest with Adam. "I've been attracted to you ever since we first met, Adam. That's one of the reasons I wanted so badly for Amanda to let you go."

"I wanted to be with you from the first time I saw you," Adam whispered, not looking up at Spencer. "I've been thinking about Amanda -- and I think that was one reason she didn't want to let me go. She didn't want me to be happy with somebody I could care about."

"That might be true," Spencer agreed, wishing that he knew more about alternate personalities, and Adam's in particular. "She had such a hold over you that she might have felt jealous of your attraction to me. Maybe that's why it took so long for her to let you go."

"That's what I think," Adam said, finally raising his gaze to Spencer's. "I think she hated you. And even though she might have been trying to protect me, and that's why she came out so strongly, I think in a way, she hated me, too."

"I think it was me she hated," Spencer said with a sigh. "I think she knew how I felt -- she could see it in my eyes. And I don't think she wanted to share you with anyone else." He looked up at Adam from under his lashes, a small smile on his lips. 'I don't blame her."

"You d-don't?" Adam's voice was soft, his dark eyes wide as he stared at Spencer. "Are you saying that you don't want to share me with anybody, either?" Spencer couldn't miss the note of hope in his tone, the expectation in the gaze that was fixed on him.

"I don't," Spencer acknowledged, meeting Adam's gaze squarely. "You don't think I'd have come to get you if I only thought of you as being a responsibility, do you?" he asked, hoping that Adam would be able to understand what he was trying to say.

"No," Adam whispered, a small smile starting to tug at the corners of his lips. "No, I guess you wouldn't." He looked down into the swirls of his tea again, then back up at Spencer. "So, where do we go from here?" he asked, sounding very young and uncertain.

"One step at a time," Spencer told him with a smile. "There's no need to hurry, is there? We'll just take things at our own pace. It's not a race, Adam. We don't have to make it to the finish line in a certain amount of time. Let's just relax and see where fate might take us."

Adam nodded, looking relieved. "Spencer?" His voice was still soft, barely above a whisper when he spoke again. "I'm really glad I asked for you," he murmured, glancing at Spencer from beneath his lashes. "I think fate might have told me to do that."

"I'm glad it did," Spencer answered, feeling a warmth seep into him from Adam's words. He hadn't planned on this; he hadn't thought that Adam would suddenly become a part of his life. Fate had thrown them together in a way that he wouldn't have thought possible.

But fate worked in mysterious ways, didn't it? Spencer thought to himself. And if this was the way of fate, then he would accept it. He only had to wait and see where it led -- and for once in his life, he wasn't alone. He had someone beside him.

He hadn't expected this -- but he wasn't going to turn away. Maybe he and Adam weren't the ideal couple, and maybe they would have a lot of problems to overcome. But he was confident that they could -- even if they might not be choosing an easy route to take.

Fate had never ruled his life, and it wasn't going to start doing that now. But Spencer had the definite feeling that fate had played a part in bringing him to the point where he was standing -- and that it would have an even more decisive role in his future with Adam.

***