Title: Feeling Loved
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 20_est_relships
Prompt: 11, Love
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Spencer opened his eyes, blinking owlishly at the bright sunlight that filtered into the bedroom window. He debated whether to sit up and stretch, or simply to snuggle further beneath the covers and tighten his arms around Aaron's waist, to lie here for a while longer.

He didn't particularly want to get up; they'd just gotten back yesterday evening from a case that had made the entire team feel drained. He and Aaron had slept late; it was Saturday, after all, and they didn't have to be back in the office until Monday morning.

All he wanted to do at the moment was lie here next to Aaron, to feel the man he loved next to him, to hold on to Aaron and luxuriate in the feeling of being together. They'd been so busy with cases lately, they seemed to spend far too little time just enjoying each other's company.

It was mornings like this that made life worth living, Spencer thought with a satisfied smile. Later, he and Aaron would get up and make breakfast, have coffee, and then sit around the house, each doing things that they enjoyed -- but they would each have the other close by.

Before he'd become involved with Aaron, he'd never realized how good it could feel just to be with the person he loved. Just having Aaron in the same room with him, even though they were doing different things, could make him feel happy and fulfilled.

Their relationship wasn't perfect, not by a long shot -- Aaron was still trying to deal with all that had happened to him, and they did have arguments now and then. But he was convinced that they were happier and more well-adjusted than a lot of couples out there.

When had he realized that he was in love with Aaron? Spencer frowned as he thought back over their history; he wasn't sure that there had been one shining moment when it had dawned on him. He had just gradually come to love Aaron over time, not in one fell swoop.

It had taken time for him to make this man the center of his life, but now that he had done so, he had no regrets. He wouldn't change anything about how they'd come together -- except, of course, everything that had happened with Foyet. He wished that had never taken place.

Or did he? Spencer's frown intensified as he wrestled with that thought. If Foyet hadn't raped Aaron, and done all those other horrible things, then they might not be together now. Things might be very different for the two of them -- so maybe it had all worked out for the best.

Spencer closed his eyes, pushing that thought away. No, he didn't think that what Foyet had done to the man he loved was for the best. He would never think that. But if it had been inevitable, he was just glad that he'd been here for Aaron when he was needed.

He might not know the precise moment that he'd fallen in love, but he knew that he was in love. Just the thought of not having Aaron in his life was enough to make him feel empty inside; he couldn't imagine life without the man he loved. He needed Aaron by his side.

Without Aaron, his life would be the same lonely place that it had been before they had come together; he'd have spent his days and nights yearning for what he thought he could never have, always feeling that he was missing out on something, but never having the courage to reach out for it.

Did any of that matter now? A smile curved Spencer's lips as he came to the conclusion that it didn't. He loved Aaron, and Aaron loved him. The path that they'd taken to discover that love didn't really matter; the only really important thing was that they'd found each other.

He could feel Aaron stirring in his arms; his boyfriend would wake up in a few minutes, and he didn't think that Aaron would want to lie here in bed for long. That was a pity, because he'd like to just stay here and talk, so that he could have the chance to tell Aaron how much he was loved.

His boyfriend already knew that, of course. But still, it never hurt to say the words -- and Spencer had to admit that he liked hearing those words from Aaron, too. It was amazing how good three simple little words could make him feel as though he was on top of the world.

His smile grew as Aaron opened his eyes and raised a hand to run it through his hair; his arms tightened around his lover's waist, and he nuzzled his cheek against Aaron's bare shoulder in greeting. "Good morning," he whispered, his voice slightly rough and husky from sleep.

"Good morning to you, too," Aaron answered, turning his head to smile sleepily at Spencer. "How long have you been awake? You should have woken me up." His tone only held a tiny bit of a rebuke; Spencer knew that he hadn't really expected to be awakened.

"I wanted to enjoy lying here with you," he answered, nuzzling Aaron's bare shoulder again. It wasn't often that his boyfriend slept without a t-shirt on, and he intended to take full advantage of the fact that Aaron had chosen to do so last night. "I wanted to hold you for a while."

"I don't mind you doing that," Aaron told him, his voice still very soft. He rolled over on his back, then turned towards Spencer, raising a hand to brush a lock of the younger man's hair out of his eyes. "I like waking up with you every morning. And I like being held. It feels .... safe."

"Waking up next to you and having you in my arms makes me feel loved," Spencer murmured, capturing his boyfriend's hand and brushing his lips across Aaron's soft fingertips. "I hope you feel the same way. Because I do love you, Aaron. More than I ever thought I could love anybody."

"And I love you, Spencer," Aaron answered, his voice very soft and husky. "I know I don't say it enough, but you have to know that the emotion is there. I've loved you for longer than you know. And every day, I know that I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you with me."

"Funny, I always think the same thing, every time I look at you," Spencer said with a smile. Just being this close to Aaron, having his lover in his arms, waking up in bed next to him made his heart leap. He was sure that it was turning somersaults in his chest even as they spoke.

Of course, he knew that wasn't possible -- but that was how Aaron made him feel. He always felt energized when he was with this man, even if they were just lying in bed doing nothing, like they were now. Aaron made him feel more alive than he ever had before.

And Aaron brought out a side of him that no one else ever had. Not only did this man know how to bring out his more lighthearted side, but Aaron also brought out the romantic in him, the person who loved candlelight and flowers and soft music and slow, gentle kisses.

As though the two of them had the same thought, they each leaned forward, their lips meeting and clinging. Spencer's arms tightened around Aaron; the older man moved closer to him, his own arms sliding around Spencer's waist to pull him into a close embrace.

This was all he'd ever wanted, all he'd ever needed, Spencer thought as the kiss intensified, his senses reeling with the intimacy of the contact. It might be only a kiss, but it felt as though Aaron was pouring all of the love he felt into the contact of their lips.

"I've never felt as loved as I feel when I'm with you," Aaron murmured against Spencer's lips. "Nobody's ever made me feel the way you do, Spencer. I could say that I love you over and over again, for the rest of our lives, and it still wouldn't begin to express how I feel about you."

Spencer could feel tears prickle behind his eyes at Aaron's words; he'd never felt so loved before in his entire life. It might not be easy for his lover to say the words, but he knew that Aaron meant them when they were spoken. And he knew that Aaron felt them to the depths of his being.

He felt those emotions, too. Aaron was the center of his universe; he loved this man with every fiber of his being, with everything that he was. Aaron was a part of him that he couldn't imagine living without; this man was everything to him, and always would be.

"I love you," he whispered, knowing somehow that Aaron needed to hear those words as much as he needed to say them. He was feeling loved in a way that he never had before, and he never wanted this feeling to end. It was something that he couldn't quite manage to put into words.

But the words he'd just said were enough. They were such simple little words, only one syllable each; still, they managed to convey everything that he felt. They were the most powerful words he'd ever said -- and they meant more to him coming from Aaron than they would have from anyone else.

"I love you, too," Aaron murmured, brushing another gentle kiss across Spencer's parted lips. "I'm going to try to remember to say that every day, for the rest of our lives. I know that I don't need to -- but I want you to know exactly how I feel, Spencer. I want you to know that feeling won't fade away."

"I know it won't," Spencer said softly, his arms tightening around Aaron's waist. "And it won't fade away for me, either. I'll love you until the end of time, Aaron. You've got to know that." He rested his forehead against Aaron's, forcing the tears back. He was not going to cry.

"I do," Aaron told him, his voice soft and gentle. "I've felt more loved since I've been with you than I've ever felt in my entire life. I know that isn't the kind of love that fades. It only grows stronger with time." His voice was warm and loving, the words stirring Spencer's heart.

He wished that they could stay here in bed all day, loving and being loved. But Jack would be up soon, and they'd promised to take him to the zoo today. It should be an interesting weekend for all of them, Spencer thought with an inner smile. One that would be filled with love.

Spencer closed his eyes, snuggling closer to Aaron. He was feeling loved exactly where he was, and he didn't want to get up yet. Time enough for that when Jack came barreling into their room, demanding that they get up. For now, he was where he wanted to be -- and he wasn't going to move.

***