Title: Fit In
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Doctor Who/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: slash_me_twice
Prompt: 60, Freak
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Spencer Reid, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
"You know, I have a lot more in common with you than you might think," Spencer murmured as he and the Doctor lay on a blanket in the grass, staring up at the blue of the sky above them. "There are so many things about myself I haven't told you yet."
The Doctor glanced over at the younger man, his eyes taking in Spencer's profile and noticing that he seemed to be concentrating intently on the clouds scudding through the sky. "Oh? You know I'm always willing to listen to anything you have to say, Spencer."
"I know." Spencer looked over at him, their eyes meeting. The Doctor could read nothing but sincerity in those beautiful dark eyes that were fixed on him; even as recent as their meeting had been, he knew that he could trust Spencer implicitly.
They'd already been through quite a lot together, even though he hadn't taken Spencer to any distant planets as of yet. He'd wanted to make sure that the young man was completely recovered from his experience with detoxing first, before he jumped into anything else.
So far, he seemed to be doing well. And though they hadn't become physical yet, they were nearing that point very quickly. Last night, Spencer had been in his bed, and they'd slept wrapped in each other's arms the entire night.
He'd brought them back to 21st-century Earth so that Spencer would have a sort of point of refernece; he didn't want the young man to feel as though he was too much out of his comfort zone, not so soon after the unsettling experience of getting off the drugs.
Though Spencer was used to experiencing new things, the Doctor felt that it would be best to ease him into the realities of how a Time Lord lived. But he seemed perfectly able to cope, so perhaps he was being a bit too cautious.
"I've always felt like a freak in my own world," Spencer began, propping himself up on his elbows and looking back at the clouds. "Because of how advanced I've always been. And other people looked at me as being weird, too. So that was how I saw myself."
The Doctor nodded, his thoughts drifting back to his own childhood on Gallifrey. "I was the same way," he murmured, remembering how he'd felt when others had turned their backs on him. "I was rather advanced on my planet, as well. So I know how you feel."
"Even when I joined the BAU, I was still a freak," Spencer continued, sighing softly as he spoke. "It was like everybody accepted me, but they still looked at me as being something outside of their sphere, something they didn't quite understand."
"I've always been a freak," the Doctor told him, his own voice barely audible. "No matter where I've gone, I've always been different. Even when Gallifrey existed, I wasn't in step with everyone else there. I've never been able to fit in anywhere I've gone."
"I know the feeling," Spencer told him with a sigh. "The only time I've ever felt like I fit in was with the BAU, and even that wasn't perfect. It got worse when ...." his voice trailed off, and he swallowed hard before speaking again. "When I fell in love with someone there."
"Oh?" The Doctor looked over at Spencer again, feeling his hearts constrict in his chest. Was this person some kind of threat to his burgeoning relationship with Spencer? Was this young man in love with someone else?
No, he would have said something if he was, the Doctor told himself, wishing that his hearts would stop their rapid beating and settle down to a more normal pace. Spencer wasn't the sort of person who would use him as a substitute for someone he couldn't have.
"Yeah," the young man finally said, without looking over at the Doctor. "My boss. Aaron Hotchner -- Hotch. I didn't want to fall in love with him -- it just happened. It took me a long time to get over that. But I did, even though it wasn't easy."
The Doctor wanted to let out a sigh of relief, but he didn't. However, his hearts did settle down to a more sedate beating in his chest; Spencer's words were proof that he wasn't in love with another man, that the Doctor didn't have anything to worry about on that score.
"I'm sorry things didn't work out," he began, choosing his words carefully. "But if it had -- then we'd probably never have met, and we wouldn't have a future ahead of us. I can't say that I'm sorry it didn't work out with him, because I wouldn't want to give up my chance with you."
"There was another guy on the team who always came on to me, too," Spencer said, shuddering, a scowl crossing his face. "Morgan. He wouldn't leave me alone -- always trying to make these sexual innuendoes and pushing me to sleep with him."
"That's sexual harrassment!" the Doctor exclaimed indignantly, pushing himself up on his elbows and looking over at Spencer. "You didn't let him get away with that, did you? He should have been fired for doing something like that. And I hope you taught him a lesson."
Spencer shook his head, the scowl fading. "No, I didn't. I just ignored him, and then finally warned him that I'd tell Hotch if he kept it up. That stopped him." He looked over at the Doctor, trying to smile. "Like I told Morgan, he wasn't my type at all. I don't do ugly."
The Doctor couldn't help but feel relieved at Spencer's words; for a few moments, he'd worried that this man might have tried to rape Spencer, or put him in some sort of untenable position that the young man hadn't been able to tell anyone about. But apparently, that hadn't been the case.
"But anyway, falling in love and knowing that Hotch didn't feel the same way about me just made me feel like more of a freak," Spencer continued, sighing again. "I know I'm not the only gay man around, but I felt like even more of an outsider with that hanging over me."
"I've been in love before, too," the Doctor admitted, not wanting to mention Jack's name. "But that didn't work out, and I got over it. Of course, no one could get to my age without having experienced falling in love a few times."
Spencer looked over at him with a grin, nodding. "I still have a hard time believing you're over 900 years old. That just doesn't compute for me. Imagining somebody living that long .... it's like a fountain of youth to me, even though it's obviously normal to you."
"Normal to my people, yes -- but not to most of the universe." Now it was the Doctor's turn to sigh and look up at the sky again. "My age has always made me feel like something of a freak myself -- not only in this world, but in the entire universe."
"Being the last of your race must be hard," Spencer said softly, reaching out to take the Doctor's hand in his own and twine their fingers together. "I can't imagine what that would feel like. But that just proves my point -- we have more in common than we might have thought."
"Well .... there is one other Time Lord in the universe," the Doctor reminded him, his smile fading as he turned his head to meet Spencer's eyes. "I've told you about him. The Master is someone we want to avoid at all costs, if that's possible."
Spencer shivered, his fingers tightening around the Doctor's. "I agree. He doesn't sound like somebody I'd like to meet. From what you've told me, I think he's a lot like the guy who kidnapped and tortured me and got me hooked on those drugs."
"He is," the Doctor said simply, not wanting to elaborate on what part the Master had played in his life. It wasn't something he liked to think about himself, much less relate to another person. Though he would have to tell Spencer the specifics someday, he supposed.
But for now, it was enough for them to lie here in the warmth of Earth's sun, looking up at the blanket of sky above them and exchanging confidences. Even if they did both feel like freaks, separated from the rest of their worlds, they were together.
And it was that perceived freakishness that had brought them together, in some ways. Somehow, he must have sensed that when he'd first met Spencer, and been irrevocably drawn to this young man because of it. He could only see that as a good thing, for both of them.
The Doctor turned his gaze back to the sky, a small smile on his lips. He and Spencer might both be different from the rest of the world, but that didn't bother him. It was a difference they could revel in, one more thing that brought them together.
"You know, I don't feel like a freak with you," Spencer said softly, his eyes still focused on the clouds above them. "I feel like I've finally found the place I belong. And to be really honest, I can't see myself ever wanting to leave."
"I hope you never do," the Doctor answered, squeezing Spencer's hand in his own. His hearts seemed to jump in his chest, a feeling of happiness enveloping him. Freaks? Maybe so, to the rest of the world -- but for each other, they were a perfect fit.***
Next story in series - Magnet and Steel.
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