Title: Finding God
Authour: Heather Exhume
Rating: G
AN: This takes place where the episode left off. If I missed something really important about Reid's beliefs at the beginning of the episode I'm sorry but Mom was attempting to burn the house down.
Summary: Missing scene from "Lucky" not really any spoilers though.
***
It was quiet on the plane. The kind of quiet that occurs at 4 am. The kind of quiet where words are spoken softly but heard by all. The kind of quiet where secrets are safely spoken of. When Morgan spoke it didn't break this spell, for when the words are uttered correctly, carefully and with fondness, then all continues on as it did before. If less people were drowsing less heavily, well the stillness still existed for all that. "Spencer?" Morgan questions again, just as softly, but this time Spencer rouses and when he answers it is just as soft and careful.
"Yes?"
"When you were a kid did you worship God, did you go to church?"
Reid blinked, eyes round and soft, all pupil in the quiet, darkened cabin. "It depends on your definition of worship, and of church."
Even though Morgan's tone didn't change and his face was shadowed heavily, the questioning note was there in his voice, "what do you mean?"
This speaks strongly of that power that 4 am holds, for Reid who speaks little of himself or his family, who hides behind statistics and averages though he is neither, spoke honestly and unguarded. "Church when I was growing up was found in Proust, Emerson, Carlyle, Dickinson. God was a whispered word that was found between the pages of Swann's Way at 2 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. Worship was chanted poems from Tulips and Chimneys . Hands were soft and rustle of pages turning, our prayers. God was found and lost so easily in those days."
The silence was heavy as Morgan thought about this, as he really listened to what Reid was saying. Finally he spoke. "If that was were you found God, then where did you find the Devil, because to believe in one..." Morgan's voice trailed off no need to finish quoting Reid to himself.
"Oh the Devil was there too." Reid says this in the casual way that most people would mention a friend. "He was easy to find at 6 am when the night was just winding down. The Devil was there in the searching of wall studs for listening devices. He laughed at the screaming that followed the fits and the mania. He watched the scissors flash around my face just as closely as I did." Reid tugged on a loose piece of overly-long hair. "Why do you think I always let my hair grow so long before cutting it?" Reid laughs a little, a queer sort of laugh that is neither dry nor straight forward, but more the kind where you only find something funny because you must to ward away other feelings. "No I was lucky; I learned early on that God and the Devil co-exist. In all things they are together, even in us."
Reid shook his head back and forth, "it doesn't sound very religious when I say it like that, but it's there and you don't even really have to look very far. I mean after all we found God in a book just like everyone else and I didn't even have to seek the Devil out, he always comes of his own volition. Just like every other religion it's much easier to remember the times that the Devil was there then the times when God was."
The plane was quiet after that and the magic of 4 am continued indefinitely but ended right after.
***
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