Title: In Your Care
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Aaron sat on the couch, resting his head back against the cushions and closing his eyes. He stretched his long legs out towards the fireplace, letting himself relax as he picked up the drink that was sitting on the end table beside the couch and took a sip.

He and Spencer were at home, with Jack tucked safely into bed upstairs. All was right in their little world; he felt at ease for the first time in months, even though that dark cloud that always seemed to hang over him was still there, hovering in the background.

But somehow, after his little breakdown at the office today, that cloud seemed to be less ominous. It had felt as though that darkness was getting closer and closer to him with each passing day, threatening to swallow him whole. But now, it had backed away.

Aaron had no idea how long that would last, but he was grateful for the reprieve. He didn't want to think about that cloud, or the events that had caused it. Right now, all he wanted was his quiet time with Spencer, so they could talk and be together.

That meltdown in the mens' room earlier today had somehow helped to banish the specter of Foyet that still hung over him, even though it wasn't gone completely. He needed to talk to Spencer about why he'd broken down, and how he was feeling in the aftermath.

This was the first time he'd really wanted to talk about Foyet, the first time that he'd felt he could open up completely and talk openly with Spencer about everything that had happened. It only remained for his boyfriend to indicate that he, too, wanted that discussion.

Spencer came into the room with a glass of orange juice, making Aaron smile. One of the things he loved about his boyfriend was that Spencer was so unusual; whereas most people would go for the bottle of Scotch, Spencer never seemed to notice that there was alcohol in the house.

He sat down on the couch next to Aaron, putting the juice on the coffee table and sliding and arm around Aaron's waist. Aaron rested his head against Spencer's shoulder, not saying a world; there were no words needed, only the warm, comforting sense of belonging.

"It's good to see you looking more relaxed," Spencer said softly, turning to look at Aaron. "After what happened at work today, I thought you were a little shaky. I've been worried about you, but it looks like I didn't have any need to be."

Aaron sat up, shaking his head and giving Spencer a wan smile. "No, you didn't," he said softly, reaching for his glass again and taking another swallow of the Scotch. "I think that might have been a little bit of a breakdown, but I came through it all right. Thanks to you."

"I didn't do anything except be there for you when you needed me -- and that's what I'm here for," Spencer told him, his voice soft and loving. "You're the one who has to work through this on your own, Aaron, like you've said before. But I'm here to give you all the help and support you need."

"That shouldn't have happened at work," Aaon said with a soft sigh. "I didn't want anyone else to see me in that kind of state. But I couldn't deal with it any more. It felt like all the walls around me were closing in and crushing me. I-I couldn't breathe."

"I've felt like that before," Spencer told him, his voice brimming with sympathy. "The difference was that I didn't have anybody I could talk to about it. After what happened with Hankel, I felt more alone than I'd ever been in my life. And I'm used to being alone."

"You were never alone," Aaron whispered, turning his head to look at his boyfriend. "I was always there, Spencer. Whenever you needed me. I should have let you know that. Maybe you would have been able to come to me sooner, and not gone through that by yourself."

Spencer shook his head, sighing softly. "I think I had to go through that alone, to make me the person I am now," he said, sounding thoughtful. "If I hadn't dealt with all of that on my own, in my own way, then I might not have been able to be with you like this."

Aaron nodded, contemplating Spencer's words. "You wouldn't have been the same person if all of that hadn't happened," he murmured, resting his head against the cushions again. "As much as I wish you hadn't had to struggle with all of that, it's made you a stronger person."

"Yeah, it has," Spencer said with a soft smile. "And if I hadn't gone through that tunnel and come out on the other side, I might not have been able to be with you. I wouldn't have been strong enough. I'm just glad I am, so I can help you with what you're going through."

"If I didn't have you there, I'd be lost, Spencer," Aaron whispered, turning his head to look at his lover. "I can't imagine what my life would like without you, but I know that it would be a lot emptier. Thank you for being here, sweetheart. And thank you for loving me."

"No need to thank me for that," Spencer said, taking his hand and twining their fingers together. "It just comes naturally. I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to try. Which I don't. I can't imagine my life without you, either. It'd be pretty bleak."

Aaron said nothing, merely smiled and squeezed Spencer's hand. They didn't need words between the two of them, not at a moment like this; a look, a touch could say everything that was in their hearts. He knew that Spencer felt the same; he could feel it in that gentle touch.

Maybe others would find it odd that he shared such a strong bond with another man, after what Foyet had done to him. But there was a bond between himself and Spencer that had started long before Foyet, a bond that could never be broken by anyone.

That bond had begun when the team had rescued Spencer from Tobias Hankel, or maybe it had existed even before that. He'd loved Spencer since they had first met, even if he hadn't recognized his emotions as love then; maybe their bond had been forged from the first.

Whenever that bond had first been initiated between them, it had grown too strong for anyone to break. Spencer had become the center of his life, along with Jack; the two of them made up the nucleus of his world, the elements that he couldn't live without.

He had put himself into Spencer's care, trusting his boyfriend to be there for him, to catch him whenever he fell. And Spencer had done so, supporting him in every way possible. No one else would have done that for him; no one else was as close to him, so much a part of his soul.

"I've put myself in your care, Spencer," he finally said after the silence had stretched out for what seemed like a very long time. "I trust you with my heart and soul. With my life. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you -- and I know that you feel the same way."

"Of course I do." Spencer raised their joined hands to his lips, brushing a gentle kiss across Aaron's knuckled. "I'm in your care too, you know. That's what people in love do for each other. They're there for each other, no matter what. And we always will be."

"What would I do without you?" Aaron asked, his voice husky with emotion. "My life has been so much better ever since we've been together, Spencer. You're so good for me -- and for Jack, too. Neither of us could ask for a better person in our lives."

"You'll never have to be without me," Spencer said softly, his voice trembling slightly. "I'll always be right here with you, Aaron. I couldn't leave, not now. We're too invested in each other. I love you too much to ever think about leaving -- and I need you too much."

"I need you, too," Aaron whispered, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears that rose behind his eyes. He didn't want to break down again, not now. That was in the past; he had to move forward, to be strong, and to keep making progress at putting Foyet behind him.

"I'm in your care -- not only for now, but for the rest of my life," he continued, his voice stronger now. "I'm not always going to be strong when you think I might be, Spencer. There'll be times when I need to lean on you. But I know you'll be there. I've always known that."

"You don't have to be strong all the time," Spencer told him, squeezing his hand, the pressure of his fingers soothing and reassuring. "And neither do I. We've got each other to hold on to when we can't be strong. That's why we're in each other's care."

"Exactly," Aaron said softly, feeling his heart swell with love for this young man. Spencer leaned towards him, his eyes closing, and their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. As he lost himself in that kiss, Aaron knew that he'd definitely put himself into the care of the right person.

***