Title: Someone to Lean On
Author: Nyx
Pairing: Morgan/Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: AO
Prompt: Collecting injustices
Kink: hurt/comfort, dealing with “An Elephant’s Memory”
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these wonderful characters, nor do I write this for profit. I write because the voices in my head tell me to.
Notes/Warning: slash

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Spencer walked into his apartment with what felt like the weight of the world on his shoulders. The last case had been hard on him. He’d had cases where he could associate with the Unsub before, but he’d never before seen one that had reminded him of himself. Spencer had seen himself in the young killer and that had disturbed him more than he had let on.

Tossing his keys on the small table by the door, Spencer walked further into his apartment. He placed his bag on the coffee table with hands that had started to tremble slightly. He didn’t like thinking about his childhood. His memories from school were not pleasant ones. The clarity of those memories made him curse his eidetic memory.

Spencer let himself fall onto his couch, his lean frame taking up most of the available space. He hadn’t been able to sprawl like he had wanted to on the plane. Around the others, he liked to appear in control. He didn’t want them to think that he was weaker than they were due to his youth. Having Hotch come over and tell him nearly point blank that he needed to go to a meeting had hurt.

Hotch hadn’t been the one that Spencer had wanted to talk to on the flight home. The person he was wanted to talk to had sat down and immediately put on his headphones, indicating that he would not be up for talking. Spencer sighed and ran a hand over his face. The feelings he had for Derek Morgan were starting to get harder to ignore.

Spencer was just working up a good bout of self-pity when he heard knocking at his door. Frowning in confusion, Spencer got off of the couch and went to open the door. The person on the other side of the door was the last person he had expected to see.

“Morgan?”

“You going to let me in, genius?”

“Um, sure,” Spencer replied. He moved to one side to let the other man enter his apartment. Out of habit, he locked the door when he closed it. Ever since he had been abducted, he was slightly obsessed with keeping his doors locked. He turned around to see that Derek had settled on his couch. “Why are you here?”

“I thought you might need someone to talk to.”

“Why?”

“Because the case was hard on you.”

Spencer moved into the room. He had been planning on sitting in one of the chairs, but he ended up on the couch next to Derek. “So you came here because you thought I needed someone to talk to?”

“Yes.” Derek turned to face him. “After what you told me in Owen’s room, I was worried about you.”

“Why were you worried about me?” Spencer was starting to feel incredibly confused. He wasn’t sure why Derek was there. He and the older man had never spent much time together outside of work, even though Spencer wanted to. He didn’t want Derek to be there out of pity.

“Because you mean something to me.” Derek reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Spencer’s ear. “I want to be the one you lean on when you need someone.”

Spencer just stared at him for a moment. He didn’t know what to say to that. It was almost as if one of his fantasies had come to life. He could still feel the heat on his cheek from where Derek’s fingers had grazed it as he pushed his hair off of his face.

“I want you to be that someone, too.”

“Then get over here and talk to me, pretty boy.” Derek reached out and tugged on Spencer’s arm.

Spencer gave a rather undignified yelp as he lost his balance and fell against the other agent. He felt a blush heat up his face as the strong chest beneath him began to vibrate with laughter. Spencer’s embarrassment was short-lived. The feel of Derek moving him around in his arms until he was settled comfortably knocked all other feelings from his mind. When Derek stopped moving him, they were both stretched out along the couch with Spencer resting on top of the older man. The feel of the strong arms holding him tight was the final piece that Spencer needed to just let go. Feeling safe and secure, he began to talk.

All of the tales of humiliation from his childhood began to spill out. Spencer had never had anyone to talk to before. He told Derek about the problems he had with his mother and her schizophrenia, the hazing at school, and the way no one seemed to ever even try to understand him. He didn’t notice when the tears started to fall. Usually, the thought of someone seeing him cry was enough to make the tears stop, but Spencer felt safe with Derek. The strong hands running in soothing circles over his back also helped.

After about two hours of talking, the words died away. The tears continued to fall even after he stopped talking. Derek simply continued to hold him while he cried. Spencer cried for all of the times he couldn’t, all of the pain and humiliation he had been through, the childhood he could have had, and the friends that were never there for him. Through it all, Derek simply held him in his arms and murmured soothing words of comfort and support.

When his tears finally stopped, Spencer noticed that one of Derek’s hands had changed positions. One was now running through his hair while the other was under his shirt and seeping heat into his skin. Spencer lifted eyes he knew were red and swollen to look into the warm brown gaze of the man beneath him. He felt Derek’s fingers start to move against his back as the other man smiled at him.

“I always wanted to know what your skin felt like.”

Spencer dropped his gaze as he felt another wave of embarrassment hit. “Is it like you imagined?”

“Seems that way. Although, I would have to feel more of it to be sure,” Derek replied. The strong fingers fisted in his hair and gently pulled his head up. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes. I’ve never really talked to anyone else about any of this.”

“I’m glad it was me.”

“So am I.” Derek pulled his other hand out from underneath Spencer’s shirt so he could cradle his face in both hands. “I will always be here for you.”

“I think I’m starting to understand that.” Spencer moved up slightly so that he was closer to Derek’s face. “I also think that I’m starting to understand why.”

“Really? And why is that?”

“You like me.”

“I do.”

“I like you back.”

“I was hoping.” There was laughter in Derek’s voice, but the smile on his face was tender.

Spencer did something that he had never done before. He made the first move. He moved his head that last little distance and pressed his lips against Derek’s. His kiss was nervous and hesitant, but Derek immediately returned the kiss. Spencer heard a needy whimper escape his mouth as the other man forced his lips open with his tongue. He allowed the other tongue into his mouth with pleasure. Spencer slid his hands up Derek’s chest and encountered wet fabric. He pulled away and looked down with a frown. There was a wet patch on Derek’s shirt.

“Did I do that?”

“You were upset, baby. I don’t mind.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I said that I don’t mind.” Derek placed a swift kiss to Spencer’s nose. “I like seeing you like this.”

“All red and blotchy?”

“No, all open. No walls, pure Spencer.” One hand gently cupped Spencer’s jaw. “You’d tell me if this was bothering you, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.” Spencer pressed his lips to Derek’s once more. The slow, gentle kisses were starting to have an effect on his anatomy. He could feel his erection start to harden. Spencer was enjoying the languid kiss when he felt one of Derek’s hands run down his back to rest on his ass. When that hand curved around one of the cheeks, Spencer moaned and thrust down.

Spencer felt an answering hardness in the man beneath him and he suddenly needed to touch skin. He increased the force of the kiss and got his hands beneath him, attempting to get them under Derek’s shirt. He wanted to feel all of that smooth skin and hard muscle. When strong hands gripped his wrists to stop the movement, he pulled away from the kiss and whined in frustration.

“Slow down a minute, boy genius.”

“Derek,” Spencer whined. He was about to say something else when Derek pressed his fingers over his lips. Spencer allowed the action to silence him.

“I don’t want to push you into anything. I’m not saying that I’m not enjoying this outcome, but all I came here for was to talk and see if you were okay.”

“I like that you came to check up on me.” Spencer leaned down and pressed a kiss to Derek’s forehead. “I also like what’s happening between us. I know that it wasn’t something that either of us planned, but I’m glad that it happened. This is something that I’ve always wanted to happen.”

“Really? You wanted me?”

“Since the moment I saw you.” Spencer took a deep breath and did something that he had never done before. He let down all of his walls. “I need this, Derek. Being with you makes me feel like someone cares for me and after everything that I’ve been sorting through I really need that right now.”

“Okay, get off of me. If we’re going to finish this, a bed would be a good idea.” Derek let go of Spencer’s wrists and pushed him lightly.

Spencer climbed to his feet. He ran a trembling hand through his hair then held that hand out to Derek. He felt warmth climb up his arm as Derek took his hand. Spencer tugged the other man to his feet and pulled his close. He ended up with the slightly shorter man pressed against his chest. Spencer pressed a soft kiss to Derek’s lips then started tugging him down the hall. When he got to the door of his room, he froze. This wasn’t something that he was used to.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and Spencer felt a kiss pressed to the side of his neck. “Stop thinking so much. Tonight is about comfort. We can worry about everything else later.”

Spencer let himself be propelled gently into his room. He turned to face Derek once again and was drawn into a soft kiss. Spencer wrapped his long arms around the other man and pulled him close. These kisses were different than the ones from earlier. They were soft, but full of a slow passion that seemed to fill Spencer like water pouring into a cup. For the first time in his life, Spencer stopped analyzing and let himself simply feel.

The languid kisses and the feel of Derek’s hands on his skin were intoxicating. Spencer was drowning in sensation. Every stroke of Derek’s hands left a trail of fire along his skin. Spencer found himself gripping smooth skin before he realized that he and Derek had managed to lose their clothing and were now lying on the bed. Spencer paused with a hand on Derek’s chest and pulled away from the tempting kisses. He stared into Derek’s eyes as he ran his fingers down his chest to curl around his erection.

Spencer had imagined this moment many times, but it had never been like this. He’d pictured himself dropping to his knees or rolling over and presenting himself to Derek. In all of those fantasies, he had at least looked at Derek’s cock. In reality, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Derek’s. He let his hands curl around the other man’s erection and started to stroke, reveling in the look in Derek’s eyes as Spencer stroked him.

The rhythm of Spencer’s strokes faltered when he felt Derek’s hand wrap around his aching length. He gasped into Derek’s mouth and pulled him into another of the tender kisses. Their lovemaking was full of tender care and was the most perfect act that Spencer had ever experienced. His orgasm hit him out of nowhere. He gasped Derek’s name as the pleasure washed over him. His entire body trembled with the intensity of his orgasm. He felt the wet release over his hand, signaling Derek’s release.

Derek continued to press gentle kisses to his face while the tremors slowly faded. Spencer could feel Derek trembling against him as well. Finally getting his breathing under control, Spencer pressed his head against Derek’s neck. He could feel the older man nuzzling his hair.

“Fell better, baby?”

“Uh huh. Sleepy now,” Spencer replied. He attempted to burrow into Derek’s chest, but was stopped by a hand pressing against his chest.

“Where’s the bathroom?’

“Down the hall.” Spencer knew that his confusion was colouring his voice, but he was too tired to care much.

“I’m going to grab a cloth to clean us up. I’ll be right back,” Derek explained. He pressed a soft kiss to Spencer’s lips then got out of the bed. Spencer watched him walk out of the room, enjoying the way that the muscles in his ass moved.

Spencer had drifted into a light doze when he felt a warm, damp cloth wipe spilled semen from his skin. He smiled at the tender treatment. When he felt the bed dip under Derek’s weight, he opened his tired eyes. He found himself staring into his lover’s warm, brown eyes.

“Think you can sleep now?”

“You’re staying?”

“Just try and make me leave.” Derek pulled Spencer into his arms.

Spencer sighed happily and snuggled into the strong arms. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here. This was amazing.” Spencer pressed a lazy kiss to Derek’s neck. When he received a happy moan in response, he did it again. He flung an arm over Derek’s waist and tangled their legs together. “Can we do this again?”

“Any time you want, babe. I have no plans to go anywhere.” Derek pulled him closer. “Now go to sleep. You need your rest.”

Smiling happily, Spencer closed his eyes. The strong beat of Derek’s heart under his cheek was incredibly relaxing. For the first time in months, he didn’t fear sleep. He knew that the man holding him close would keep him safe. He had finally found someone he could lean on.

The End

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