Title: Let Me Fall
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Will LaMontagne/Ethan Delacroix
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 2, stories_a_z
Prompt: L
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will LaMontagne or Ethan Delacroix, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Will sighed as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the bar; it had been a long day, and there was nothing ahead of him but an equally long, lonely night spent by himself. His apartment didn't seem like a place he wanted to be, not without anyone to keep him company.

So he was here, in one of the best jazz bars in New Orleans, drowning his sorrows -- thought not his loneliness -- in a whiskey glass. It wasn't the best way for him to spend his time, but it was preferable to going home and spending the evening in solitude.

The soft piano music had stopped; he turned his head to look over at the piano and realized that the handsome dark-haired man who'd been playing was no longer seated there. Will felt a moment's regret; he'd thought about going over to the piano and introducing himself.

Well, he'd probably lost that chance now; he should have taken it when he could. But that was him all over -- he was the king of missed opportunities. He held back too much, which was probably why he was still alone, still living a life that felt empty at the core.

Will glanced to his right side as someone sat down beside him, and his heart seemed to leap in his chest. It was the handsome pianist, sitting so close to him that Will could move slightly to the side and their bodies would touch. It was as though fate had thrown this man into his path.

His breath caught in his throat at the thought. Could fate have finally decided to smile on him? Was this the opportunity that he should reach out and take with no hesitation, no indecision? Did he dare speak to this man, try to find out more about him, throw out an invitation?

Before he could say anything, the other man turned his head, looking directly into Will's eyes. And in that moment that their gazes met, Will knew that he had fallen, harder than he ever had before, harder than he'd ever thought it possible for fall for someone.

He wanted to sit here and gaze into his man's eyes forever. Will didn't even know his name, and yet he was completely mesmerized, as though he was under a spell. With one look, without any words spoken or even a touch, he had lost his heart, and he never wanted to have it returned.

"Hi," the other man said, smiling and holding out a hand. "I'm Ethan. Sorry if I crowded you, didn't mean to. It's wall-to-wall in here tonight, hard to move anywhere without bumping into somebody." He turned slightly on the barstool he was sitting on to face Will more squarely, still smiling.

Will couldn't speak for a few moments; when he finally could, there seemed to be nothing he could say that wouldn't sound silly. Finally, he settled for simply saying hello. "Hi, I'm Will," he managed, taking Ethan's hand in a firm clasp. From the moment they touched, he didn't want to let go.

But he couldn't sit here holding onto Ethan's hand all night, as much as he wanted to do so. Reluctantly, he let that hand go, even though he immediately wanted to reach out and twine their fingers together. He was frantically searching his mind for something to say, and coming up empty.

He wished that they could simply skip over all of the preliminaries, and be together in his apartment -- or in Ethan's, it didn't matter which -- removing each other's clothes, kissing, exploring each other's bodies, falling onto the bed and entwining their bodies in every way ....

Resolutely, Will pushed those thoughts out of his mind, knowing that this wasn't the right time for them to come out front and center. He had to get to know Ethan at least a little first, before he could start thinking about having this man in his bed.

"So what do you do for a living, Will?" Ethan asked, seemingly completely as ease with their conversation. He didn't seem to be nearly as affected by their touch as Will had been; he was simply sitting there, his drink in his hand, waiting patiently for an answer to his question.

"I'm a cop," Will answered, knowing that his words would probably spark a barrage of questions. He laughed softly, shaking his head as he elaborated. "I'm a detective. My daddy was a cop before me, and his before him. I guess it's kind of in my blood."

"Well, you know what I do," Ethan said, his soft laugh echoing Will's. "I'd like to think that you might have come here tonight for the music, but I'm pretty sure it was for the booze. But I hope the music made it a better night than it might have been otherwise."

"Would you believe me if I said I came here for the music?" Will asked, unsure of where the words were coming from even as he spoke. "Or maybe not for the music -- but for the guy who's making the music," he added, his voice very soft and husky, his gaze not leaving Ethan's face.

He knew that he was coming on strong, but he couldn't stop himself. The words seemed to be tumbling out of him of their own volition, without him realizing just what he was going to say until the words were out there, hovering in the air between himself and the man in front of him.

"I might," Ethan answered, his voice equally soft. "I've seen you here before. I kind of hoped that you might be here to see me -- or at least to listen to me play. I kind of wondered why you never said hello before. I kept wanting you to, but I guess it took a while for you to work up your courage."

Will found himself nodding and smiling, feeling a little shamefaced at Ethan's words. "Yeah, I guess it did," he admitted, wanting to reach out and lay a hand on the other man's shoulder, but holding himself back from doing so. "It's not every day that I see such a gorgeous man."

Ethan raised an eyebrow, looking amused. "Yeah? You think I'm good looking and that's what made you so hesitant to say hi to me?" He leaned forward, his breath soft against Will's cheek as Ethan whispered in his ear. "I'll tell you a secret. I was scared to say anything to you, either."

"Yeah? You were?" Will couldn't stop the smile that spread across his features. So he wasn't the only one who had been a little hesitant, who kept holding himself back from what he really wanted. Ethan did that, too. It made him feel less foolish, less alone.

"I was," Ethan confirmed, leaning back slightly against the bar and focusing his gaze on Will. "I've got a feeling that we're a lot more alike than we might think we are, Will. And I also think that we're both feeling a lot more than either one of us is ready to say right now."

Will took a deep breath, looking into Ethan's eyes, his gaze not wavering. "I'm going to say exactly what I'm feeling. I think I'm falling for you. And I want you to let me fall. I don't want to stop this, because even though it feels kind of crazy, it's the best feeling I've ever had and I don't want to let it go."

"I'm feeling the same way," Ethan said softly, his dark gaze never leaving Will's face. "Yeah, it sounds a little crazy, but I've always believed that when I fell in love, it would be just like this. That I'd fall for a guy who'd just walk into my life out of nowhere. I think you're the one."

Will swallowed again, his eyes widening. He hadn't dared to use the word love, even in his own private thoughts -- but now that Ethan had said it, that word was fixed front and center in his mind. Was he falling in love? Was this more than simply lust, more than just desire?

It had to be more. His heart wouldn't be turning somersaults like this if all he wanted was a brief fling, or a one-night stand. There was much more to what he was feeling that mere desire; something told him that Ethan was going to be a very big, very important part of his life from here on out.

Was this how it felt to fall in love -- feeling as though he was leaping from a dizzying height, yet not being at all afraid of the fall to the ground? He was absolutely positive that he wouldn't crash into hard, cold earth -- but rather, that he would fall into Ethan's warm embrace.

He wanted to fall. He wanted to forget that he worked with people who might shun him once they found out that he was involved with a man. He wanted to throw caution to the winds for once in his life, rather than taking the easiest road and being overly cautious about what he was doing.

This was his life, Will reminded himself. And he didn't want to spend the rest of it alone. He wasn't the kind of guy who wanted to get married and have kids, raise a family; he wanted one person to love for the rest of his life, one person who returned that love just as strongly.

He wanted Ethan. And from the way that the other man was looking at him, from the things he'd already said, Ethan wanted him, too. This was as good as place as any for them to start -- in fact, it was better than most. He was ready, Will told himself. Ready to jump in head first.

He didn't need to look both ways. This time, he was going to follow his heart, and to hell with anything else. "I know you're the one," he finally said, reaching out to take Ethan's hand in his. "I don't know why, but my heart's telling me to fall for you. So let me fall and enjoy doing it."

"Only if you'll let me fall, too," Ethan told him, squeezing Will's fingers gently. "I know it sounds kind of crazy -- but I've been dreaming about you, without even knowing your name or anything about you. I've been hoping something exactly like this would happen between us."

"So where do we go tonight?" Will asked, the words coming out before he could stop them. "Your place, or mine?" It sounded a little abrupt, he realized, but all he wanted to do now was to get out of here with Ethan, to lose himself in this man and let himself fall even further than he already had.

"Yours, for tonight," Ethan answered in a whisper. "And mine tomorrow night. Then we can talk about what kind of arrangements we're going to make -- because I know that I'm going to want to see you every night. Or at least every night that we can possibly be together."

"I'll want that, too," Will answered, keeping his voice low. He threw a few bills onto the counter to pay for their drinks, then got up and followed Ethan towards the door, still holding the other man's hand. His heart was still doing cartwheels in his chest -- and pounding harder than it ever had.

This felt like the first moment of the rest of his life --and in a way, it was, he told himself with an inward smile. He'd finally found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, after what felt like a lifetime of fruitless searching. Ethan was going to be the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He didn't know just where this night was going to lead them, but he knew that he had fallen too far -- and too hard -- to ever pick himself back up again. And he wanted to stay right where he was, letting himself fall deeper and deeper, for however long eternity might last.

***