Title: Like Butterflies Pinned To Pages
Author: and dark skies Fandom: Criminal Minds.
10_per_genre: Table 9: Challenge: 6. Righting a wrong.
Summary: And he realizes that despite how much his life has fractured since Tobias, no matter how hard it gets to function sometimes; the idea that she needs him even a little helps more than he can express.
Author's Note: It's kind of fractured but it's supposed to be that way.
La cienega just smiles, says I'll see you around
Sometimes, when he's not paying attention to what's going around him, he finds himself watching her. No one else sees it, the quiet way JJ has shrunk back into herself, but he notices. He notices and he hears himself in his head telling her they needed to split up.
“It's not her fault," is what he told Morgan “It was my idea to split up."
Morgan tried to tell him that he doesn't blame JJ for what happened but Reid knows him better.
“What happened to me and what happened to her. It's my fault."
It's my fault, he says time and time again in his head. It doesn't help and he can't seem to make himself say it to the person who needs to hear the most but he says it. He says it and hopes she hates him, hopes that in some part of her head, she realizes what he's done to her. He took away the fearless JJ and left behind the JJ that winces when dogs bark.
He wants her to hate him. She doesn't.
JJ still smiles at him the way she used to and still calls him Spence. She still tells him things about her life. He remembers when he was in the hospital she came to see him after the others had left.
“My mother gave me this when I was in a car accident," she had said handing him a shadowboxed butterfly “I was ten and she told me that anytime I was feeling stir crazy, to look at the butterfly and imagine I was outside."
He keeps it on his desk and when he feels stir crazy, he looks at it, with its bright blue wings and thinks of her eyes.
He thinks she needs him; needs someone who understands even if he thinks a part of her feels guilty about needing him. She never asks for too much, she never really asks. She offers and he takes, he lets her be a shoulder to lean on and someone who listens. He talks and she listens, it isn't much but it's something little that he can give her. And he realizes that despite how much his life has fractured since Tobias, no matter how hard it gets to function sometimes; the idea that she needs him even a little helps more than he can express. "I think I'd like to come back here someday," said JJ as she took as seat next to Emily in the plane "In a non official capacity. It's a great town."
"And what exactly is it about The Big Easy that makes you so suddenly fond of it?" asked Morgan as he stifled a smirk "The good food, the good music or is it..."
"A certain deep voiced detective?"
JJ looked over at Emily and made a face. "I don't know what you mean." She didn't realize that a blush was creeping up over her cheeks.
"What exactly did you two talk about?" asked Morgan "I mean...you were pretty much attached at the hip through the whole case."
"I've worked with cops before!"
"Yes, but how many of them have you given your personal cell number too?" asked Reid with a ghost of a smile.
"You too, Reid? I thought we were friends. Where's the loyalty?"
"We're all friends here, JJ," said Morgan as he stood "We just want to know exactly what young Detective Lamontane's intentions are for our dear Jennifer."
"Oh, you are enjoying this. Aren't you?"
"He is nice looking," said Emily quietly to JJ "And he's got that voice."
JJ laughed softly and nodded. "Don't forget the accent."
"He really is rather taken with you. He kept calling you Honey."
"He's southern. He calls lots of women Honey."
"Not me. He never called me honey."
"Well...no offense Emily, but you're not exactly the sort of woman a man calls honey unless they're seeing them."
"That is not the point."
"Then what is the point?"
"Bill and you. Do you think there could be something there?"
JJ frowned and shrugged. "I guess, I mean...I guess I hope so." Oh, that felt strange to her to say but it was true. "I mean, there is something about him that I can't stop thinking about and he seemed to feel something for me."
"The man didn't stop staring at you for more than a few seconds most of the time we were there," said Morgan.
"You are enjoying this far too much."
"It's just nice to see you like this," he said smiling softly "You are far too pretty of a girl to be alone."
"I'm not alone. I have you guys."
She smiled over at Reid and nodded. "Yes. You are."
"And if it helps," he said "I liked Bill."
"So did I, " said Emily.
JJ looked over at Morgan. "What about you?"
"He's not good enough for you."
She laughed. "He's a cop. A good cop. A honorable cop. What's wrong with him? And weren't you just saying I'm too pretty to be alone?"
"JJ, you're my friend, you're my colleague and while we may get on each others nerves occasionally, no one will ever be good enough for you in my eyes. Same thing with any of you."
"Aww. The big brother I never wanted."
She sighed softly and ran her hands through her hair. "I don't think it matters much anyway."
JJ looked out the window as the plane took off. "Because here I go and there he stays."
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