Title: 2 + 1 = Love
By: Tiffany F
Pairing: Gideon/Hotch/Reid
Rating: AO
Note: I don't even know if the position is possible, but I think it would work. Even with Reid's long legs.
Summary: After an extremely hard case, Hotch's lover wants to help him feel better. But during the conversation he lets it slip that he's not the only one who wants Hotch. Smut follows. unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.***
Hotch closed the door to his hotel room and leaned against it with a small sigh. He was tired and didn’t want to admit it to anyone on the team, but all he wanted to do was sleep. He didn’t even jump when arms wrapped around him. “It’s not your fault.”
“She’s right,” Hotch said softly. “If I hadn’t sent her home like I did she wouldn’t have been shot. I don’t blame her for not trusting in me any more.”
“He would have found a way to her, Aaron, and if not her another member of the team. We were all out gathering information and he could’ve gotten to any one of us. He could have shot any of us at any time and he picked the easiest target for his purposes. You need to quit blaming yourself because this is going to eat you alive.”
Hotch turned and looked into his lover’s eyes. “She’s falling apart, Spencer,” he said. “If this keeps up then she’s going to become a danger to the team and I can’t have that. I won’t risk you, or anyone else.”
“I tried to talk with her last night,” Reid said. He reached up and started to unknot Hotch’s tie. “I found her drinking, not to excess, and asked her if she wanted to talk. She accused me of profiling her and didn’t really say anything. Maybe you should get Gideon to talk with her. He always seems to know what all of us are thinking anyway, maybe he can get through to her.” He pushed off the white dress shirt his lover was wearing and ran his hands over the warm skin he found.
“I hope Jason doesn’t always know what I’m thinking,” Hotch grinned.
“Why?”
“Because there are times, even in the middle of a case, when I’ll look up and see you thinking,” Hotch replied. He pushed Reid’s jacket off and started unbuttoning the white shirt that was underneath. “Or you’ll pull out a random fact about what we’re talking about and I’ll be lost. All I can think about is how much I want to go to my knees and suck you off.”
“I think the rest of the team might be a little offended, except maybe Gideon, who would want to join us,” Reid said. “What?”
“Why do you think Jason would want to join us?” Hotch asked, an amused smile on his face.
“Oh come on, Aaron, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed,” Reid replied.
Hotch pushed Reid down onto one of the double beds and sat down next to him. “Noticed what, Spencer?” he asked, running his hands over his lover’s bare chest. “You really need to eat more; I can feel your ribs.”
“Aaron, I practically live on fast and junk food,” Reid said. “And we were speaking about Gideon, not me.”
“So we were,” Hotch said with a warm smile. “Although I have to admit that I find the thought that my partner wants to sleep with my lover more than a little uncomfortable.”
“Oh, it’s not me he wants,” Reid said. “It’s you.”
“What?”
“Gideon treats me like a son, which I’ve never really understood, and I think he’d only put up with me to get a shot at you.”
Hotch thought for a moment and then smirked. It was a look Reid had grown to dread. “There’s a perfectly easy way to test our theory and see if it’s right or wrong,” he said. “But first I’ll need you quiet.” He pressed a hand to his stomach and leaned over carefully, taking Reid’s mouth in a deep kiss. The younger man moaned softly as his mouth was mapped and stroked by a very skillful tongue. “Will you let me gag you, Spencer?”
Reid nodded, not unsurprised by the request. He knew he had a tendency to get loud and they didn’t need the rest of the team knowing about their relationship. Hotch kissed him again and picked out a tie which he slid into Reid’s mouth. “I’m going to wear this tie on the plane home tomorrow,” Hotch whispered. Reid moaned softly and raised his hands above his head. Hotch nodded, “keep them there no matter what. I can’t tie you to the bed so it’s going to be up to you to keep in control for me.”
Reid nodded and stretched out, showing that he was ready. His eyes widened when his lover picked up his cell phone. “Jason, its Hotch. Listen, I know you wanted to get some sleep, but could you come to my room? Yeah, I have a question for you.” He smiled gently down at Reid. “Trust me, Spencer,” he whispered, placing the cell phone back on the table.
“My tie,” Reid managed around his gag and held out his wrists.
“Are you sure?”
There was a brisk knock on the door before Reid could reply. Hotch smiled. “I’ll be right back,” he said. Reid watched his lover until he vanished and then shivered slightly. If his assessment of the situation was wrong then things could get messy very quickly.
“What’s going on, Aaron, what is all this?” Gideon asked as he caught sight of Reid stretched out on the bed.
“That should be obvious, Jason,” Hotch replied with a smile. “Spencer made an observation tonight, one that I was skeptical about but willing to entertain until I saw your eyes when you opened the door. You want me.”
“Aaron, you’re married,” Gideon said. “What about Haley? What about Jack? What are you doing here?”
“Being loved and taken care of,” Hotch said. “Something changed in Haley when Jack was born, something I can’t figure out. She doesn’t understand me anymore. All she wants is for me to be at home with her and Jack and, when I am there, she wants me to leave. I think the LA bank case was the last straw. I think she’s finally going to leave me.”
“So this is how you try to save your marriage?” Gideon asked. “How long has this been going on? How long have you been cheating on Haley?”
Reid sat up and pulled the gag off. He wrapped his long arms carefully around Hotch and glared over at Gideon. “You don’t know the whole story so don’t you dare judge him,” he said coldly. “And if all you’re going to do is hurt him then I suggest you leave.”
“Tell me,” Gideon said. “Tell me so I understand. I don’t want to hurt either of you, I love you both, but I don’t want innocents to be harmed.”
Reid looked at Hotch, who closed his eyes and nodded wearily. “You may as well,” he said softly.
Reid kissed his lover’s cheek. “Lie back for me, Aaron. Carefully. I’m right here, its okay.”
“I love you,” Hotch said.
“I know, I love you too,” Reid replied. “No one else has seen these, Gideon. No one else on the team even knows about them.”
Gideon smiled softly. “I think under the circumstances, Spencer, you should call me Jason,” he said.
Hotch had settled back onto the pillow with his head turned so he was facing away from the other men. Gideon was able to read shame in every line of his friend’s body and wondered exactly what had happened to cause it. He watched as Reid undid Hotch’s belt and zipper before slowly pulling down the gray suit pants and dropping them on the floor. Reid pressed a kiss to his lover’s right knee and reached for the waistband of the black boxers. As the fabric was removed, several scars came into view, several recent scars and a stark white bandage.
“We should change the dressing,” Reid said. “Are the supplies in your bag or mine?”
“Mine,” Hotch said, not moving.
“Aaron, talk to me please,” Gideon said. “Who did this to you? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Haley,” Hotch said. “I can’t even sleep at my house anymore because I don’t know what she’ll do next. But with all the cuts centered on my abdomen and upper groin, it’s entirely possible she wants to castrate me and is working up the nerve.”
“Or eviscerate you,” Reid said. He carefully removed the bandage and tossed it into the trash can he’d brought over. “Aaron, this is getting infected. You must have pulled it while we were working. I think we might have to take you back to the doctor and get them to clean it out again.”
Gideon watched the process at the same time his mind was working back over the past few months. He’d noticed that his friend had been moving carefully at times, holding a hand over his stomach when he had to sit down or stand up quickly, but he hadn’t thought anything of it. Most of the time it looked like Hotch was just holding down his tie.
“Spencer figured out that I was avoiding going home and invited me over for a late supper and to talk,” Hotch said, breaking into Gideon’s thoughts. “He thought it was strange that I didn’t want to be with my son as much as possible, but I collapsed at his apartment before we could talk. The whole story came out after I got stitches and he’s been taking care of me ever since.”
“We tried to fight our growing attraction because we don’t want Jack to grow up without his father,” Reid said as he used a Q-tip to clean around the black sutures that were so dark against the pale skin of Hotch’s lower stomach. “But, in the end, the feelings were stronger than we are.”
“How long?” Gideon asked.
“Two months after Jack was born,” Hotch replied. “I needed someone to take me back to the hospital after I received a deep cut and I called Spencer. I told him I didn’t want the rest of the team to know anything was wrong. I know I broke protocol with this, Jason, but I thought I could handle it.”
Gideon sighed. “I just wish you had trusted me enough to say something,” he said. “So why now? Why this?”
“Because I saw, or thought I saw something earlier today before the sting went bad,” Reid said. “And then again when Elle snapped at Aaron. I mentioned it and he called you.”
“You’re a good judge of character, Spencer,” Gideon said with a smile. “And you’re learning to read people well. Yes, you did see something in my eyes today, something I couldn’t hide when Aaron opened the door without his shirt on. Lord help me, but I want you both so badly.”
“That’s what tonight is, Jason,” Reid said with a smile. “We’re inviting you to join us.”
“But for how long?” Gideon asked. “How long will you want me around? My heart is already fragile and I don’t know if I can take it being broken again.”
Reid glanced down at Hotch, who nodded with a smile. The younger man crawled off the bed and knelt in front of Gideon. He rested his arms on the older man’s knees and put his chin on them. “Nothing that happens will ever be enough to break Aaron and me apart,” he said. “If all you want is one night with no strings then you’ll have to wait until Aaron’s stitches come out because we have a standing rule – no penetration if he’s been cut. But if you want more then you’re welcome to stay as long as you want up until forever.”
Gideon smiled gently at the younger man. “How could anyone say no to what’s being offered here?” he asked. “Aaron, I want you to get some help for Haley and talk with her about a trial separation. Even after seeing your injuries, I cannot feel as if I am intruding on or breaking up your marriage.”
“I tried that and was almost gutted,” Hotch said as he ran a finger over a long scar. “That was right after Jack was born and I wasn’t home. She won’t listen to me, Jason. The only thing I’m sure of anymore is that she won’t hurt Jack.”
Gideon reached over and rested his hand on Hotch’s leg. “Then we’ll go together, the three of us,” he said. “I won’t let this hurt your career, Aaron, but Haley needs help before she does hurt Jack as a way to hurt you. And if you’re no longer staying at the house, then I believe it becomes and real and serious possibility. How did she get you again if you’re not home?”
“I needed some clothes and I thought I could sneak in because Jack had an appointment,” Hotch said with a wry smile. “You’re right, Jason, just like you’re always right.”
“No one can always be right,” Gideon smiled. “Now I will admit to a certain long-standing curiosity as to what you both taste like.”
“Our mouths or our semen?” Reid asked. “Because I believe that each will have a decidedly different, if not unique flavor which may, mmph…”
Gideon decided it was time to show Reid that there was a right and wrong time for informational lectures, so he grabbed the younger man under his arms and pulled until he could seal his lips over Reid’s and slide his tongue into the other man’s mouth. Reid moaned and scrambled for purchase until he was finally able to settle into Gideon’s lap. He wrapped his arms around Gideon’s neck and surrendered to the kiss.
“So hot,” Hotch whispered before he licked Gideon’s ear and started sucking on the lobe. “Doesn’t he taste good, Jason? That bitter tang of coffee offset just slightly by sugar and something that is just naturally Spencer. It’s addicting but not nearly as addicting as the taste of his semen. I have dreams of sucking on him in the middle of a briefing just so I can taste him again.”
“Jesus, Aaron,” Gideon gasped. “Where did you learn to talk like that?”
“Do you like it?” Reid asked. He shifted a little and grinned. “I guess you do, Jason. You know it hardly seems fair that you still have all your clothes on.”
“Then why don’t you do something about that?” Gideon smiled. “Aaron, lie back down and let us come to you. I agree with Spencer that the wound looks infected and I don’t want you hurting any more than you have to.”
Reid stood up on shaky legs, a little surprised that Hotch was giving over control of the situation so easily, but reached out with eager hands to unbutton Gideon’s shirt and then rid them both of the rest of their clothes.
“Tell me the rules, Spencer,” Gideon said. “What are the limits?”
“Aaron doesn’t like to be tied up or blind-folded, he doesn’t mind a little pain as long as he knows its coming,” Reid said. “For the most part, he is the dominate one in our relationship. I don’t mind being tied up or gagged, but I don’t like blindfolds. I do tend to get loud so Aaron will usually gag me when we’re in hotels so the team doesn’t know what’s happening. If Aaron or I are injured then we have the standing rule I mentioned about no penetration, and that includes a finger during a blow job.”
“We don’t use condoms, Jason, so if that worries you then you’ll have to buy some for yourself,” Hotch continued. He had settled on the bed and was letting his eyes slowly take in the emerging naked form of his partner.
“It’s a moot point tonight because of your injury,” Gideon said. “And I’m not going to intrude and attempt to take Spencer. We’ll have to talk about this more later, but as I said, I would deeply love to taste the both of you.”
“How do you think you want to do that?” Reid asked. He stretched out on the bed next to Hotch and looked up at Gideon.
“Slowly so I can savor the experience like I would a fine wine,” Gideon replied with a warm smile. “But, sadly, I know I don’t have the time because we do have to get some sleep tonight. It wouldn’t do to have all of us looking like zombies on the plane tomorrow. So I ask, Spencer, would you be hurt if I chose Aaron tonight and you for tomorrow when we’re home again?”
“I won’t,” Hotch grinned, “because they I get to suck on him and I’ve been dreaming about that all day.”
“And I have an idea I think will work,” Reid said. “Hotch, you stay put, Jason is right, you don’t need to do any extra moving around.” He turned so his legs were pressed up against the headboard and his right hip was on the pillow.
“Spencer, that doesn’t look comfortable,” Hotch said.
“I’m young, I bend,” Reid grinned. “Do you have access now?”
In reply, Hotch lifted his head just enough to be able to wrap his lips around the tip of Reid’s erection and sucked gently. Gideon watched for a moment before he moved in himself for the first taste of one of his new lovers.
“Wait, Jason,” Reid said. “Move your hips up here by me and make sure to hold Aaron’s down. He shouldn’t be thrusting with that injury.”
Both of the older men looked at Reid as if he was crazy before understanding lit both their eyes. Gideon shifted carefully into position and went back to Hotch’s erection, moaning when a warm mouth surrounded his own. The position was awkward and there were a couple of times when it looked like Reid was about to fall off the bed that was too small for the three men, but they were focused on the others and, when Hotch finally came, it started a chain reaction that ended only when Reid did fall off the bed.
“Ow,” he muttered, rubbing his hip.
“Are you okay?” Gideon asked, lips twitching in an obvious attempt not to smile.
“Yeah, we just need to be in a larger bed is all,” Reid replied. “Jason, I, would you, could you..”
“I think what my overly embarrassed lover is trying to ask is, would you stay with us tonight,” Hotch said with a smile. “Although why he’s embarrassed I don’t know.”
Reid popped up and leaned on the bed. “You would be too if you were in the middle of one of the most intense moments of your life and you fell off the damn bed,” he said. “It makes me feel like an inexperienced kid.”
“In this we’re all inexperienced,” Gideon said. “And yes, I’d be honored to stay with you tonight, and every night. Although I don’t know how we would explain it to the team that the three of us are suddenly sharing rooms.”
Hotch snickered and rolled carefully onto his side. “We just have to make sure we book adjoining rooms,” he said. “You’re well known for liking your privacy, Jason. No one will question it if you don’t want to share. I know Morgan likes having his own room too. We can make it work out.”
“There are some tough questions we need to ask,” Gideon said. “Starting with…” he broke off as his phone rang. He glanced around, found his pants on the other bed, and dug it out of a pocket. “This is Jason Gideon. I see. No, we’ll be there as soon as we can. Yes. Thank you.”
“What’s wrong?” Reid asked.
“Elle just shot our suspect,” Gideon replied. “He’s dead.”
***
When the team arrived back in Quantico, Reid took Hotch back to the doctor immediately after the plane landed to make sure that his wound wasn’t a concern. They both had a feeling that the doctor would ground Hotch and put him on some medication until he healed up, something that would be fine with both of them. Hotch just wanted to get better, and Reid hated seeing his lover hurt. Then Hotch had plans to go to the Bureau to deal with the political mess Elle’s shooting had caused. He didn’t want to take her off field assignment, but knew that he had no choice until she passed all of her psych and other tests. He hated to think that he would lose her, but knew that was a very real possibility.
While his new lovers were busy, Gideon took the opportunity to go and visit with Haley. He’d asked permission, and received it. None of them wanted Hotch around his wife until they were positive that she wasn’t going to try and kill him. They knew there was a chance that she would move from knives to a gun if she saw her attempts failing and they couldn’t chance it. Gideon knew that Haley really didn’t like him, but also knew that he had the best chance of getting her to listen to reason. If she was still sane, in any case.
“What are you doing here, Jason?”
“I came to talk with you, Haley,” he replied with a smile. “I wanted to see how you’re doing and see Jack. You don’t bring him to the bureau nearly enough. You know he has a team of devoted aunts and uncles who would love to see him.”
“He’s asleep and you can leave,” Haley said.
“Why are you trying to kill Hotch?”
“What?”
“It’s a simple enough question,” Gideon said. “I saw his wounds for myself and they don’t appear to be an attack from a wife who wants to castrate her husband. They look more like the wounds from someone who wants to kill the cause of all her pain. You’re lashing out unfairly, Haley, and you’re only hurting yourself, in the end.”
“What do you know about it? You don’t even have contact with your son.”
“That’s true, I don’t,” Gideon said. “But I’ve called and left many messages for him, so when the time is right for him, I know he’ll call. He blames me for not being there when his mother died and, in a way, I blame myself. When he works through all his anger, he’ll see there are two paths he can take, one back to me and one where he’s alone with his own family. Do I hope he’ll call me, of course I do. But I won’t know until it happens. Now, tell me what’s paining you, Haley. Why do you want to kill Hotch?”
“Because he’s always gone,” Haley said. “He was the one who wanted children and now I’m stuck here with Jack all the time and he’s never here. Work has always been more important to him than anything else. He just wanted me tied to the house.”
Gideon knew that wasn’t true because he remembered Hotch coming to talk with him the first time Haley had mentioned children. Hotch had been concerned about the amount of time he would have to spend at work, how he could be a good father while being gone all the time, and how it wouldn’t be fair to Haley or the child. Hotch had been both disappointed and thrilled when Haley took matters into her own hands and went off her birth control pills without telling him.
“Haley, have you talked with anyone about how you’re feeling?” Gideon asked. “I know that Garcia would love to watch Jack for a day if you need time to yourself, or I would be happy to take him for a while. Let me help you out, Haley. You don’t need to go deeper into the darkness.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Haley snapped.
He sighed and started for the stairs. “Haley, I don’t want to do this, but I think it would be for the best if I do take Jack for a while,” he said. “You need help, whether you think you do or not, and I believe it’s my job to ensure that you receive it.”
“You can’t go up there,” Haley yelled trying to catch his arm.
“My badge says that I can,” Gideon replied. He had a bad feeling growing in his stomach as he climbed the stairs. His head fell forward as he caught the smell in the upstairs hallway. With a sigh he took out his phone and called the police.
********************
Hotch and Reid had just arrived at the bureau when Hotch’s phone rang. “Jason, where are you?” he asked. “Reid and I just walked into the office.”
“I’m still at your place, Aaron,” Gideon replied. “I’m afraid that Haley has been arrested.”
“No,” Hotch whispered, sinking down into his chair. “Not Jack.”
Reid shut the door to Hotch’s office, closed the blinds and then sat down on the arm of his lover’s chair and wrapped an arm around him, holding him close. He could feel the pain radiating off of Hotch and, at that moment, wanted to kill Haley for what she had been doing.
“Aaron, I’m so sorry,” Gideon said. “Look, stay at the office with Spencer. The police are going to come and talk with you for a while. You were out of town when it happened, so they don’t believe that you did it, in spite of Haley’s claims. But they’re going to need the whole story.”
“I’ll tell them,” Hotch said. “Then what do I do?”
“You let Spencer and me take care of you,” Gideon said. “You cannot blame yourself for this any more than you can Elle’s shooting, Aaron. You need to learn to let go and trust that others are responsible for their own actions.”
“I should have known there was something else wrong,” Hotch said. He leaned against Reid and closed his eyes. “I’ll see you when you get here, Jason.”
“Jack?” Reid asked when Hotch was off the phone.
“She killed him,” Hotch replied softly. “While we were out of town. He’s just a baby, Spencer. He couldn’t have fought back.”
“She’s not well, Aaron,” Reid said. “We both knew that. But we hoped that maternal instinct would overcome everything else. Neither of us is to blame, but maybe we could’ve done something differently.”
Hotch pressed a hand over his wound and stood up. “I’m going to try and lose myself in the paperwork in here,” he said. “Will you let me know when the officers arrive, please?”
Reid stood quickly and pulled his lover into a tight hug. He was thrilled when Hotch didn’t pull back, but leaned on him, letting himself take the support being offered. It was something Reid hadn’t thought his boss and lover capable of, but time and patience had proven him wrong. Hotch would let his walls down at times and Reid was always right there to give him the love and support he needed, and seemed to crave. He rested his head on Hotch’s and they just stood there for a moment. “You going to be okay on your own?” Reid finally asked.
“Spencer, I…”
“I’ll go grab the folders I was going to be working with and I’ll be right back,” Reid said. “I can spread out on the floor next to you, easily enough.”
“You can work at the desk.”
“You know we always bump into each other,” Reid said referring to the fact that Hotch was left-handed. “I’ll be fine on the floor, Aaron. I’m young, I bend.”
“Thank you,” Hotch said softly.
********************
When Gideon finally arrived at the bureau he felt as if he had aged ten years. He still couldn’t believe that Haley had not only killed her own son, but tried to pin the murder on her husband. That it would take so tragic an incident to get her the help she so desperately needed hurt and he stopped by his own office to call Steve again, leaving his traditional message, before continuing on to Hotch’s office.
He smiled when he found his lovers working together in the office, Hotch at the desk obviously working on Elle’s paperwork and Reid on the floor working on a profile request from a department out west. “Hey,” he said softly.
“Jason,” Hotch said. “Close the door.”
Gideon did and was surprised when he suddenly had both Hotch and Reid wrapped around him. He put an arm around each of them and held them close. “I’m sorry, Aaron,” he said. “There aren’t words to change how you’re feeling, but I’m so happy that you’re willing to let me in.”
“I can’t do this alone,” Hotch said. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Ending the marriage is probably the first step,” Gideon said. “She’ll be in a mental institution for a long time and, with how she feels towards you now, knowing that she’s no longer tied to you will only help her to heal.”
“We need to talk about what we’re going to do as well,” Hotch said. “I’ve been living with Reid, but the apartment isn’t big enough for all three of us. I can’t go back into that house again.”
“Sell it and split the money with Haley,” Gideon said. “We can search for something for all of us when we’re all a little more secure in the relationship. This is not the time to be rushing forward into something new. This is when we need to find our footings and move carefully.”
“Jason’s right,” Reid said. “And it’s not like we’ll be apart all that much anyway, with how much we travel.” He leaned in and kissed the corner of Gideon’s mouth. Before Gideon could turn more fully into the kiss, Hotch leaned in as well and joined them. It was awkward and ended far too soon, but it worked to show the level of commitment the three of them had to the other.
“Who has the biggest bed?” Hotch asked.
“I believe I do,” Gideon replied. “And I’d be honored for the two of you to come to dinner and spend the night.”
***
When the police officers arrived at the Bureau later in the day, Hotch took them to one of the meeting rooms so Reid wouldn't have to pick up the project he'd been working on. "Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked before shutting the door behind them.
"No, thanks though," Officer Michaelson said. He took out his notebook and flipped it open to a fresh page. "Agent Hotchner, you understand that, even though you were out of town when your son died, we need to ask you some questions."
"I do," Hotch said. He shut the door and sat down carefully at the table. "What do you need to know?"
"Did you ever suspect your wife was going to harm or kill your son?" Michaelson asked.
"No," Hotch replied. "Had I suspected that Hailey was going to become violent towards Jack, I would have taken him from the house and filed paperwork with the state. I wouldn't have left him alone as I did."
"You work as a profiler, is that right?"
"Yes, but you can't profile the ones you love or you'll go insane," Hotch said. "I was watching Hailey whenever I was home, which, admittedly wasn't as often as I could have been, but I was in fear of my own life. I just didn't want anyone to know about it."
Michaelson nodded. "It's not uncommon," he said gently. "How badly are you injured?"
"In the past six months any time I was home, I received no fewer than twenty cuts all centered in one area of my body," Hotch said. "One of my co-workers has been helping me and offered his guest room if I needed a safe place to hide for a night or two. I saw Hailey a day before I left on my most recent field assignment with my team and received the deepest cut to date. I'll make my medical records available to you if you need them."
"They would help," Michaelson said. "Why didn't you go home immediately after you arrived back in Quantico?"
"The sutures on the most recent wound pulled open while I was in the field and the cut was infected," Hotch sighed. He rubbed his face. "I had to go back to the doctor to have it cleaned out and re-stitched. I'm officially on desk duty for a month while this heals up. Also, there was an incident while we were in the field and, as unit chief, I had to report in as soon as possible to handle the situation."
"Agent Hotchner, it must have been difficult to be a father when you're so busy at work."
Hotch studied the officer in front of him, and noticed the silent partner taking notes while the conversation was going. "Probably no more than you do, Officer Michaelson," he said. "Jack wasn't planned on my part. I was hesitant to have children at this point in my career because my job does take up so much of my time. Hailey took matters into her own hands and, while I was upset at first, most of that was fear that I wouldn't be a good father. That I would be at work too much or bring home darkness, but I think every father feels like that at some point before their child is born and then for the rest of their lives. I know that I can question every moment of my actions, but I still find it hard to believe that Hailey would hurt Jack."
"It's always hard to handle a senseless death, especially of one so young," Michaelson said. "I think one of your people needs you."
"Jason?" Hotch asked.
"It's time for your antibiotics and you need to take them with food," Gideon said, putting down a glass of water, two pills and a sandwich. "I know you're not hungry, Aaron, but you need to eat."
"Thanks, Jason," Hotch said.
"Agent Gideon, do you always bring your team their medicine?" Officer Michaelson asked.
Gideon smiled. "If they need me to," he said. "We spend so much time together, we are very much a family and family looks out for each other. I had planned to bring Jack home with me today. It breaks my heart that I was too late."
Officer Michaelson looked at his partner. "I think we have everything we need, Agents, thank you for your time," he said.
"Of course," Hotch said. "You have my card. Please call if you need to know anything else. I'll be staying with a friend until I can pack up the house and put it on the market."
"We'll be in touch."
Gideon watched the pair of officers leave the room and then looked down at Hotch. "Did any of that strike you as odd," he asked.
"All of it did," Hotch replied. "They didn't notice I turned on the tape recorder before we started talking. Listen to the tape, Jason, and give me your opinions. I'm starting to think that I might need to talk with my lawyer."***
Reid looked up when his lover and Gideon came back into the office. "Is everything okay, Hotch?" he asked.
"I'm not sure," Hotch replied, sitting down carefully behind his desk. "Jason is going to listen to the tape of me speaking with the police officers, but I'm a little concerned about what I wasn't hearing when they were talking to me."
"They wanted you to report Hailey's attacks against you and blame you for what happened to Jack, don't they?" Reid asked.
"I think so," Hotch said. He rubbed his face. "I'm going to be in meetings for the rest of the day. Will the two of you wait for me so I don't have to drive home alone?"
"Of course we will, Aaron," Gideon said. "Let Spencer and me listen to the tape while you go and talk to the higher ups about Elle and what's going to happen to her. We'll be here when you get back, no matter how long it takes. We are all in this together, and we'll support you."
"Thank you," Hotch said.
***
"The focus of the questions is unusual and almost atypical," Reid said after he and Gideon finished listening to the tape from the interview room. "Were this one of our cases, I would have asked about Hailey's past, any problems in the marriage, did she act out towards Jack at other times, or did Hotch see any unusual marks on Jack when he was home. Then I would have asked about his injuries and obtained his medical records."
"I agree," Gideon said. "Aaron commented that he might need to speak with his lawyer, and I don't believe that's a bad idea at this point in the proceedings. The local police don't fully understand what a burden we carry as profilers and seem to expect Aaron to have known that Hailey was going to kill Jack. I don't believe this will go to court, Spencer, but it's possible they could push for negligence against Aaron."
Reid sighed. "With him staying at my apartment for most of the time he was home, it just adds to that," he said. "I asked him, back when I first learned about his injuries, if he wanted to tell you or make a report here at work. He thought about it for a couple of days before he decided not to. I don't know if he was just embarrassed by what was happening or if he thought he would be able to handle the situation, or both, but maybe I should have pushed a little harder for him to at least talk with you."
"You might have driven him away from you when he needed your support the most," Gideon said. "Spencer, do you actually have a guest room?"
"Kinda," Reid said. "There's a sofa in my office/library/spare room. It's not much, but yeah, Hotch could have slept there if the need arose."
"At least you have a spare room," Gideon said. "I was worried what would happen should it come out that you're the one Aaron was staying with and you only had one room in your apartment. Given that he said guest room when speaking with the police, the living room sofa would have been hard to explain."
"Yeah," Reid said. "He did actually stay in the spare room a few times so that's probably why he chose to phrase it that way when speaking with the police. What do we do now, Jason?"
"Finish up our paperwork while we wait for Aaron to be done in his meetings," Gideon said. "I'm going to recommend he speak with his lawyer first thing tomorrow, if only to alert him to what's going on. Aaron will also need to start divorce proceedings, which would be a good opening to speak with the lawyer about these two issues."
"Do you think there's anything we can do tonight to help him feel better?"
"Hold him," Gideon said. "My bed is large enough for all three of us. We'll put Aaron in the middle for the night and make sure he feels safe and loved. I'm sure he's going to have nightmares."
Reid sighed. "He's prone to them," he said. "I'll show you how to help him through tonight."
"Aaron is lucky to have you, Spencer," Gideon said. "We both are."***
"Normally I would push for something home-cooked after we returned from the field, but I don't think any of us feels like cooking tonight," Gideon said after they picked up things for both Hotch and Reid from Reid's apartment and were on the way to Gideon's. "Aaron, do you have any preferences for supper tonight?"
"I don't," Hotch said. "I know I need to eat, but I'll admit the idea makes me feel sick."
"How about Chinese?" Reid asked. "We could get you soup, Aaron, and Jason and I could at least have some veggies with whatever it is we ordered."
"Sure," Hotch said. "I should tell you both that I bumped into the Bureau lawyer that I've worked with in the past and told him briefly what's happened. I've got a meeting with him first thing tomorrow, and he wants you to come with me, Spencer."
Reid nodded. "It's a logical move on his part to have me there as I'm the friend who has been helping you through all of this," he said. "Jason brought up a good point today, one that I hadn't really thought of, but there may be some interest in my guest room at a later date."
"The sofa's comfortable," Hotch said. "Just help me remember to move my clothes back in there when we're at home next."
"I don't think having your suits in Spencer's closet would be considered unusual," Gideon said, pulling into his garage. "We're ordering in. Suits like you were, Aaron, need to be in a closet and wouldn't work hung up in an guest room used for an office."
Hotch sighed. "It's more getting my underwear and socks out of the drawer and my casual clothes in there," he said. "Those might be a little harder to explain."
"They might indeed," Gideon smiled. He entered his security codes and opened the door. "Please, come in and make yourselves both very much at home. I'm going to order dinner, any special requests?"
"Just the soup for Aaron," Reid said. "I don't know about you, Aaron, but I want to change into something more comfortable, maybe even shower. It's just been a long day."
"Too long," Hotch said. "Jason, is it okay if we shower?"
"Go ahead," Gideon replied. "Do you need something to cover your wound?"
"No, he said I could wash it as long as I was careful. Thank you though."
Reid sighed. "Desk duty for a month. You're going to drive us all crazy before this is over," he said. "Shower together?"
"It'll be quicker and you can tend the sutures better than I can," Hotch said. He pulled his younger lover in for a hug. "Spence, I don't know what I'd be doing without you and Jason right now."
"We've got you, Aaron," Reid whispered. "We're here and we've got you."
***
"Does he always fall asleep so readily?" Gideon asked looking down at Hotch.
"No," Reid replied. He adjusted Hotch's feet in his lap and leaned back into a better position. "I think the stress of having to be back at the doctor's office, combined with surgery, losing his family and his home, dealing with the police and trying to handle Elle's disciplinary actions have worn him out."
"How long will he sleep?"
"Probably an hour out here," Reid said. "Once we get him to bed I'm guessing he'll manage about three hours without problems, so be ready for a broken night."
Gideon nodded. "We've run on less sleep, and being in the office for the next month will help," he said. "Unless something major comes up and they decide to send us out short."
"Which they might do," Reid agreed. "Still, I'm looking forward to actually being able to see my desktop."
"You're the best of all of us about staying on top of paperwork too," Gideon smiled. He reached over for Reid's hand and laced their fingers together. "That fact alone shows how much we could use a little down time to deal with the requests and reports that have come in lately."
"I think my focus is just better," Reid said. "I've always been able to tune out my surroundings and focus on whatever project I'm working on. It really helped a lot when my parents were fighting so much before my father left us."
"We should all be able to focus so well," Gideon said. "Spencer, I'll admit to concerns about how the next month is going to go."
"I'm worried too," Reid agreed. "The local police's actions today make me wonder exactly what they're going to try and do to Aaron. I don't know that he can handle too many more hits, especially right now."
"I know, Spencer, I know," Gideon sighed. "All we can do is stand by him and make sure he knows that he has support from both of us."
Reid glanced over. "Morgan is going to figure out there's something wrong," he said. "I wonder if we should tell him about Jack and the police investigation."
"That might not be a bad idea," Gideon said. "He doesn't need to know the details of Aaron's injuries, but the basics could bring in another show of support for Aaron, and that could only be good, especially now."
"I'll ask him about it in the morning," Reid said. "I think he'll react better if the suggestion comes from me."
"Most likely," Gideon said. "You're yawning, are you getting sleepy?"
"Yeah, a little," Reid said.
"Let's get Aaron to bed and join him," Gideon said. "Tomorrow is going to be a very long day."***
"Jason, I'm sorry for keeping you both up so much last night," Hotch said as they were driving into work the next morning.
"Don't apologize for something you can't control," Gideon replied. "Spencer and I were both concerned about the possibility of nightmares and would rather be awake so we could help you with them rather than having you suffer in silence. The nightmares will get better, Aaron, you just have to give them time."
Reid squeezed Hotch's hand. "You know I don't mind," he said. "We're doing paperwork and there will be a steady supply of coffee, Aaron. We'll manage."
"Thank you," Hotch said. "Spence, are you ready for this meeting with the lawyer?"
"As ready as I can be not knowing exactly what it is he's going to need from me," Reid said. "I'm just glad that you were able to schedule an appointment with him so quickly, Aaron. I don't approve of the manner of questions from the local police and am worried that they're trying to prove something."
"We both are," Gideon said. "Unfortunately neither of us can call and ask questions on this case. It would just serve to give them more cause to investigate our relationship more closely." He pulled up to the gate and rolled down his window. "Good morning, Sam, how's your wife doing?"
The guard smiled. "She's due any day now, Agent Gideon," he replied. "Who do you have with you?"
"Agents Hotchner and Reid," Gideon replied.
"All right, give us a second and you'll be ready to go," Sam said.
Reid leaned forward. "There are days I think you know everyone on the base, Gideon," he said softly.
"I try to," Gideon smiled. "At least those I'll be interacting with frequently."
"Have a good day, Agents," Sam said once the vehicle check was complete.
"You too," Gideon said, driving forward when the gate was open. "Aaron, with your permission, I'll talk with Morgan while you're in your meeting."
Hotch sighed. "I hate to have the whole team drawn into this, but you and Spence are right, he needs to know the basics," he said. "Let him know he can ask me anything if there's questions."
"I will. See you two in a bit."
Reid glanced at his lover. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"I'm not sure," Hotch replied starting towards a different building than where their unit was based. "Physically I know I'll heal, that I'll have these scars for the rest of my life, but no lasting problems from any of them. "At the same time, I've lost my child, the one person I worked to keep this world safe for. It's going to take me a long time to find my footing again, Spencer."
"I'm here for whatever you need," Reid said. "Just make sure you tell me."
"I will," Hotch said. He paused for a minute. "Spence, those are the officers who interviewed me yesterday. What are they doing here?"
"Only one way to find out," Reid said. "Is that your lawyer?"
"Robert Fredricks," Hotch said. "He's a good man. Good morning, Robert. This is Special Agent Spencer Reid."
"Pleasure to meet you, sir," Reid said with a smile.
"Agent Reid," Robert said. "Aaron, you know these two officers?"
"Briefly," Hotch said. "They came to talk to me yesterday about Jack's death."
"They searched the apartment you were staying at and have a few questions for you," Robert said.
Reid frowned. "You searched my apartment without me present?" he asked.
"We had a warrant," Officer Michaelson said.
"I'm sorry, but on what grounds?" Reid asked, glancing at the lawyer. "I wasn't home last night, and I can think of no reason a no knock search warrant would have been issued in a case such as this. Agent Hotchner was staying in my guest room, yes, but he is not a permanent resident of that apartment and he hasn't stayed there in the past week."
Robert looked at the two officers. "I'd like to see this warrant," he said, holding out a hand.
"There's a copy at Agent Reid's apartment," Officer Michaelson said. "We'd like to know why Agent Hotchner's clothes were in the master bedroom."
"Because my spare room is technically my office and the closet in there is full of dusty books and personal items from my family home," Reid said. "Agent Hotchner is the head of my unit and he doesn't need to be wearing dusty, dirty or wrinkled suits to work at any time."
"Does that include on his downtime?"
Reid sighed. "In an effort to save money and conserve water, given the small number of casual items Agent Hotchner brought to my apartment, we washed our clothes together," he said. "Before I was able to separate it into stacks of his and mine, we received a call that there was a case in Nashville that we were needed at immediately. Rather than leave clothing everywhere, given that I normally come home from field assignments and collapse on my bed, I put all the clothes into my dresser to sort out at a later date."
"Where were you last night?" Officer Michaelson asked.
"At a friend's house," Reid replied. "The doctor told Agent Hotchner that sleeping on a sofa wouldn't be good for his recovery time, so he is staying with another friend and I went over for dinner. I slept on the sofa rather than attempting to drive home when so tired that I was seeing double."
Robert interrupted. "Officers, I don't understand the line of questioning you're undertaking here," he said. "Agents Hotchner and Reid were out of town when Jack was killed. What is your purpose here?"
"We don't believe that Agent Hotchner told us the truth yesterday when we were interviewing him," Officer Michaelson said.
"So you are harassing not only Agent Hotchner, a man who just lost his wife and infant son, but the friend who has been attempting to help him through such a trying time?" Robert asked. "We're ending this now, you're leaving, and I'm going with Agent Reid to his apartment to make sure that you didn't take anything. Then I'm going to call the judge that issued the warrant and have a talk with him and I'm also going to have a talk with your commanding officer. Losing a child is the most traumatic event a parent can suffer and the last thing Agent Hotchner needs to have you harassing him while he's attempting to both mourn and put his life back together. Good day, officers."***
Reid looked around his apartment and sighed. "They could have been neater about it," he said. "Some of those books are old and it won't be inexpensive to repair them."
"I'm sorry, Spencer," Hotch said. "I had no idea they would come in and toss your home because of this."
"It's not your fault, Hotch," Reid said. "Before you say it, no, you cannot help me clean up. A month's rest, remember?"
Robert looked between them and sighed. "I get the feeling that's an old argument," he said. "Agent Reid, there's no way to know if anything is missing immediately, is there?"
"No, I'm sorry, but I won't know until I put my things away," Reid said. "If nothing else, I want to file a wrongful search complaint against these two officers." He started to close books and stack them neatly on the floor. "I wonder exactly what they were expecting to find."
"Wild sex tapes," Hotch said sarcastically. He sat down in one of the kitchen chairs with a wince. "Robert, what do you think?"
"I think that you're not talking to anyone from the local police department again without me with you," Robert said. "I'll take care of things today, Aaron, but if those two officers have a vendetta against you, they're not going to stop."
"I know, and I'll make sure to alert the higher ups about this," Hotch said. "Thanks for all your help, Robert, I really appreciate it. I also wanted to talk with you about divorce papers. I don't want Hailey to feel tied to me when she's undergoing treatment."
Robert nodded. "I'll take care of it for you. Stop by later tonight or tomorrow and we can talk some more. Agent Reid, I'll file those complaints for you as well."
"Thank you," Reid said, looking up from his books. "Hotch, do you think I can have a day or two to sort my apartment? I really want to know if there's anything missing."
"Sure," Hotch said. "Robert, I'm going to stay here for a bit, maybe Reid will let me sort papers or something. We'll get a ride back to the base after lunch."
"All right, I'll see you both later," Robert said. "Make sure to lock the door behind me."
Reid scrambled up to keep Hotch where he was and followed the lawyer to the door. "That raises the question of how they gained entrance last night," he said. "I know I locked the door when I left for work and I don't keep a spare key hidden outside my door."
"Did your landlord let them in?"
"I don't know, I'll ask," Reid said. "Thanks again for everything."
"Of course, take care of Aaron. He's a stubborn one," Robert said and left.
Reid locked the door and tested it to make sure it hadn't been broken the night before. The door held firm. "Hotch, I think that your friend is sharper than he lets on," he said. "Here, if you stay at the table you can sort these." He put some files down on the kitchen table.
"He figured us out, you mean?" Hotch asked.
"I'm not sure, but he told me to take care of you because you're stubborn," Reid replied. "That could have been meant as a comment from one friend to another, but it could also mean that he saw more than we realized he did."
"Spencer, you don't think the local police planted bugs in here last night, do you?" Hotch said, suddenly realizing that there might have been more than a search the night before.
Reid looked up from the books. "If they did, Hotch, then the recordings would have been obtained illegally and they would find out exactly how the FBI feels about its agents being harassed," he said. "So, if there is anyone listening to me, you are to turn the recording devices off now before you find out exactly how pissed off I am about all of this. If helping a good friend is a crime then this country is in sad shape."
"We should probably check, just to be sure," Hotch said, smile tugging at his lips.
"Yeah, you're right," Reid said. "I'm calling Gideon to come and help with this. Maybe Morgan too. I really am not happy right now."***
"At least there were no bugs planted in the apartment," Reid said later that night, flopping down on Gideon's sofa. "That would have been a disaster given what we were talking about before Hotch realized the possibility."
"I'm curious why they're out to get you both," Gideon said.
Hotch sighed. "I spoke with Robert again, along with Strauss. Neither of them are happy about the line of inquiry and are going to have a talk with the local police chief and the judge who issued the warrant for Reid's apartment," he said. "I don't think it will be enough to stop these officers, but if they start acting without the knowledge and approval of their department, then we have a better chance of pressing charges against them."
"What else did Strauss say?" Reid asked.
"She said that I should have told her about Hailey, but she understands why I didn't," Hotch replied. "She knows me well enough to know that if I'd seen a bruise on Jack that I would have raised hell over it and not left him alone with Hailey."
Gideon looked in from the kitchen. "Which you would have," he said. "I don't believe that any harm came to Jack prior to his death. In truth, I don't even know that Hailey realized he was dead until I found him. I'm not sure what she was believing, but he'd been diapered recently."
"I just wish I could have realized how much help she needed sooner," Hotch sighed. "I knew there were problems, but I convinced myself that they weren't severe as long as I wasn't in the house. It's possible that's why I missed so many signs."
"Aaron, you would be dead if you'd stayed in the house," Gideon said. "I know you blame yourself for Jack's death and nothing I can say will convince you otherwise, but you had an honest belief that he would be safe with his mother. That is not an unreasonable belief. You had no way to know that she would act against her child."
"Jason's right, Aaron," Reid said. He reached over and ran his fingers through Hotch's hair. "Consider who is saying that to you. My mother is ill and needed help for years before I was able to get it for her. My father left me with the belief that Mom wouldn't hurt me. At least you were checking in and cared enough about your son to worry about him and risk personal harm to make sure he was okay."
"Your dad is a fool, Spencer," Hotch said. He shifted around carefully until he was resting with his head in Reid's lap. "I know you worry that you'll get sick like your mom, but you won't. I also understand what you're saying, but it's still going to take time."
"Of course it is, and we'll both be here the whole time," Reid said. He smiled down at his lover. "I don't know what Jason's cooking, but it smells good."
"Nothing fancy," Gideon called. "Just an old family recipe that I always cook when I have a bad day. It's not heavy enough to make Aaron feel sick either. Do you want to eat where you are or come to the table?"
"Table is fine, Jason," Hotch replied. "We don't want to mess up your home."
Gideon looked in again. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it," he said. He walked into the room and kissed Reid and then leaned down to kiss Hotch. "I mean it when I say I want you both to make this your home as well."***
Hotch wasn't sure what he expected when he found Morgan waiting in his office the next morning, but shut the door and sat down behind his desk. "Morgan?"
"I wish you'd said something, Hotch," Morgan said. "I know why you didn't, I totally get the embarrassment and everything else you had to be feeling, but I wish you'd said something to the team."
"Truthfully, I didn't know how," Hotch admitted. "Morgan, even though we're profilers, we do have a certain view of each other wouldn't you say? Reid is the young professor that we need to keep safe no matter what happens to him. You're the athletic one who is best to have in a chase. I'm the brains, Gideon is the heart, and Elle was still finding her footing when we lost her."
Morgan snorted and tried not to laugh. "That's one of the better assessments I've heard about our team," he said. "Some of the other teams think we're nuts, Hotch."
"Maybe we are," Hotch grinned. "My point is, Morgan, I'm the unit chief. I have to remain as separate from the team as I can while not impacting our work in the field. Every day is a balancing act for me, and when Hailey first assaulted me, I panicked and I ran to a place I knew I would be safe. Out of everyone on the team, Reid is the only one I hadn't spoken about at home and I knew that Hailey wouldn't be able to track me down there. I feel horrible for everything, Morgan. For Jack, for what happened at Reid's apartment, it's all my fault."
"No it's not, Hotch," Morgan said. "You were in danger and you did what you had to do. No one here who knows the truth thinks you're to blame for any of this. Reid told me that he blames the two idiot cops who threw his stuff around, and the judge who let them into the place, but he's worried about you. No word of blame from him at all."
"Morgan, if I blame myself, does that negate everything you just said or does it prove that I don't deserve such a good team of people around me?"
Morgan leaned forward. "The only thing I think you need proof on is that your team loves you, Hotch, and we're going to worry about you," he said. "I picked up on the rest of it, what you and Reid weren't saying, and I'm happy for you both. I don't give a damn when it happened or what has happened between you, so long as the two of you are happy then I'm happy for you. We're your family, Hotch, and we're always going to be here for you."
"Promise you won't tell the others you brought me to tears?" Hotch asked, pulling out his handkerchief.
"Yeah, I can promise you that," Morgan said. "Hotch, I understand wanting to have secrets, especially when you're in a position of responsibility. Trust me, I get it. I do, but I also get having a team to back you up no matter what. Took me a long time to learn that lesson, and I'd rather have you, Gideon and Reid with me than anyone else around. I'm going to be behind you, even if you don't always know I'm there, okay?"
"Thank you, Morgan," Hotch said.
"All right, long as we're on the same page," Morgan said. "I'll tell the others to give you a minute. I really don't want to have a talk with Gideon about this. He would see through everything in a second."
"I'll be fine, Morgan," Hotch said. "Do you have enough to work on today?"
Morgan stood with a laugh. "Trust me, I've got enough to work on for the full month if they actually give it to all of us," he said. "I'll have Reid bring you in a coffee in a minute. Holler if you need me."
Hotch had known, on many levels, that his team would support him through whatever personal problems he was facing, but having it brought out into the open by Morgan, of all people, just drove it home that much more firmly that his team really was there for him and he could trust all of them. Hotch was trying hard not to second guess himself, but it wasn't easy. It was possible if he had said something to the others that Jack would still be alive.
"Hey, Morgan said you wanted coffee," Reid said, shutting the door softly. "Your eyes are red, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Spence. Morgan just made a point I had known, but hadn't realized properly," Hotch said. He took the mug with a smile. "What's it looking like out there?"
"I can see a corner of my desk," Reid said. "I'm hoping that, in another week, I'll be caught up. It's possible though that some of Morgan's workload might come to my desk if I work too quickly."
"Does he do that to you a lot?"
"No, and it's usually cases that I'm better to look at anyway," Reid said. "I don't mind, and he's taken cases for me when I wasn't able to work anything out for them. We have a good balance on the team, Aaron. I know we're one down, but this is a good dynamic right now. I feel more comfortable than I have since Elle came on board."
"Strauss is going to try us like this again, but I think she has someone in mind for posting," Hotch said. "We'll just have to see what happens. Any other news out there?"
"Just some that Jason's going to bring in later," Reid said. "Once he's had a chance to look it over and decide how best to present it."
"Jack's autopsy results," Hotch said.
"Yeah." Reid perched on the arm of Hotch's chair and kissed the top of his head. "It was quick and he didn't suffer, Aaron. Jason has the details, but I saw that much."
Hotch shook his head. "I'm not ready to see it," he said.
"Okay, you know you don't have to," Reid said. "I'll let Jason know. Do you want me to work in here again today?"
"Would you?"
"Sure. Let me grab some stuff, talk with Jason, and I'll be right back." He kissed his lover again. "It'll get better, Aaron. I'm not just saying that, I know it for a fact. Remember how I was raised."
"I know, Spence. I know," Hotch said. "It's just hard to believe right now."
Reid didn't say anything, just held Hotch for a long moment, letting his lover try and find his calm center again. He wasn't sure how he should suggest it, but he was starting to think that counseling wouldn't be a bad idea for Hotch. Talking to someone who understood better than either him or Jason could only help in the long run. The problem would be convincing Hotch of that fact.***
"Do I want to know where you vanished to today, Jason?" Hotch asked when they were all back at Gideon's apartment for the night.
"I had a meeting with Erin," Jason replied. "She wanted to get my opinion on the situation and, I believe, she'll be talking with Morgan and Spencer over the next couple of days. There were two massive hits to our team, Aaron, and I believe she's trying to work out the best course of action for everyone."
"Did she give you any indication she was going to split the team or add a new profiler?" Reid asked from the other end of the sofa.
Jason shook his head. "No, if anything, she seems determined to keep us together," he said. "We do all work well together, and that does play into our solve rate. Trying to do anything to the team right now, especially after what happened with Elle, would be foolish at best. I think Erin just wants to know how we're all doing, and meeting with us individually makes the most sense."
"What else did she have to say?" Hotch asked.
"I would ask why you think that, but I won't insult your intelligence," Gideon smiled. "The local police chief caught those two officers attempting to file neglect and wrongful death charges against you, Aaron. They've both been suspended pending investigation."
"I still don't get why they're so out to get Aaron in the first place," Reid said. "He's as much of a victim as Jack is and, given Hailey's mental state, I think we're lucky to still have him with us."
Hotch, who was lying with his head in Reid's lap, patted the leg under him. "I'm harder to kill than that, Spence," he said. "I still blame myself for what happened to Jack though."
"You will for a long time," Gideon said. "I wouldn't expect anything less of you, Aaron, but you also have to realize that you did everything in your power to be a good father. Think about this, what would have happened if you had taken Jack? Where would he have stayed when you were in the field with the team?"
"With Hailey, and she would have tried to kill me the next time I went to pick him up," Hotch sighed. "Alternately, I could have stayed here, had Jack in the day care while I was in the unit, and worked with the team over the laptop link-up like Garcia does."
"How long would that have worked though?" Gideon asked. "You know that Morgan, while he trusts me in the field, is still waiting for me to suffer another breakdown. Were you not in the field with us, I believe he wouldn't be willing to work with me as field team leader. That would have led to frictions, no matter how professional we both tried to be, and would have had a negative impact on our performance as a team. Short term, it would have worked, but long term would have been a problem. If you engaged a nanny or babysitter for Jack, Hailey could have hurt another to take her son back. Aaron, we can argue scenarios for as long as you want, but I believe you'll find there isn't a good alternative course of action for you to have taken, no matter how you search for one."
"You make a convincing argument, Jason," Hotch replied with a sigh. "How do I convince my heart of that?"
"By remembering that you love Jack and you would have done anything to protect him had you seen any indication of harm," Gideon said. "You told me, that night you invited me into your hearts, that you believed the only truth left was that Hailey would not harm Jack. That is one thing you would never lie about, Aaron."
Reid ran his fingers through Hotch's hair. "That is true, Aaron," he added. "You checked on Jack daily, even if it was through windows part of the time, and never saw an indicator that he was hurt. You risked your own life to check on your son. Speaking as a son who was abandoned, I wish my father had cared that much about me. You had no way of knowing that Hailey would hurt Jack in any way."
"I know you said you didn't want to see the autopsy report, Aaron, and I respect that," Gideon said. "But I think you should know cause of death."
"I don't know if you're right, Jason."
"Suffocation by a blanket," Gideon said. "It's possible Hailey didn't kill him, she might not have realized he was dead. The blanket was in his crib with him, Aaron. He could have died in his sleep. There were no marks of violence on him."
"Crib death," Hotch said with another sigh. "Did the M.E. say that for certain?"
"No, but he didn't rule the death a homicide either," Gideon said. "I think that Jack died during the night and Hailey never realized it. She's so far gone, Aaron, that I don't know what her mental state is. I believe the best course of action is for you to see this as the horrible accident it was, speak with one of the Bureau counselors, and help keep other parents from suffering the same fate."
Hotch looked back. "You make it sound so easy, Jason."
"Of course it won't be, but you have two men who love you at your side to support you every step of the journey," Gideon said.***
Next part of 2 + 1 = Love.
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