Title: I Caught Myself
By: R.S. Adams
Pairing: Hotch/Prentiss & Morgan/Prentiss
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Sadly I do not own any of the characters I'm writing about, but I do own a yellow lab puppy, so tell me, who got the better deal?
Song By: Paramore
Summary: A song fic about Emily choosing between Hotch and Morgan.

***

Down to you,

You're pushing and pulling me

down to I don't know what I,

Now when I caught myself,

I had to stop myself.

I'm saying something that

I should have never thought

when I caught myself,

I had to stop saying something that

I should have never thought of you,

of you you're pushing and pulling me

down to you,

But I don't know what I want,

No I don't know what

You got it, you got it,

Some kind of Magic,

hypnotic,hypnotic,

You're leaving me breathless.

I hate this, I hate this,

You're not the one I believe in

God as my witness.

"I love you"

Three words, three syllables and Emily didn't have to be Reid to know how big those words were. And she wanted to be able to say them back. Just not to him. Not to Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, the towering man standing in front of her, professing something that shouldn't exist. No, it was supposed to be Derek saying those words, it will be Derek

Saying those words, exchanging those silent promises, if she could just make it past this. But how do you say that, "I love someone else, sorry." and god but did she even want that? Yes was the immediate answer, but no quickly followed, god she was confused, she couldn't have it both way. That wasn't an option. And she knew what she wanted, that's what bothered her most, why the hell couldn't she get past this. She wanted to run, adrenaline kicking in like he was the scariest most twisted UNSUB she'd ever faced. And so she did. But god what was waiting for her the next time she faced her supervisor was hanging over her. Lord help her.

Now when I caught myself,

I had to stop myself,

I'm saying something that

I should have never thought

when I caught myself,

I had to stop myself,

From saying something that

I should have never thought of you,

of you, you're pushing and pulling me

down to I don't know what I

I don't know what I know what I

want

I know it's not pushing and pulling me down,

But I know in my heart it's not when I caught myself,

I had to stop myself,

From saying something that

I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself,

I had to stop myself,

From saying something that

I should have never thought of you, of you

I knew, I know in my heart it's not you.

I know but now I know what I want,

I want, I want,

Oh no, I should have never thought.

She was still running when she saw him, standing there in the rain she hadn't noticed was falling. Derek Morgan. Waiting for her and looking at her shape, which must be only a blur like she was the prodigal daughter. Only she wasn't his daughter and she was buy no mean prodigal. And man, she didn't deserve this, him. Didn't deserve him standing there as she came closer, watching her and smiling that damn smile. Because she had doubted him, doubted this. How could she doubt this? How could that cold aloof man that would forever be trapped in that office stand in the way of this beautiful, forgiving god sent angel in front of her?

"hi stranger, fancy meeting you here" he said, his voice more than legible in the rain, she was attuned to it now.

"yeah, just one of those unexpected coincidences I guess." she had to smile, just a little at how little tact the man possessed. how he always, always managed to make her smile. She didn't deserve him at all.

"Lets go up, shall we?"

But she loved him, and maybe that was enough for him.

"yeah, I think we shall."

***