Title: Empty Promises
By: TheLovethief
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG
A/N: Had to get it out of my system. Un-betaed. Sorry. Hope it's any good.
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.
Summary: Gideon promises to help. Reid knows better.

***

He has all but screamed it into their faces - in his explanation to the head detective. He has told her why the Unsub hasn't been able to stop starting fires. Why the guy has felt the urge to do it over and over. A bigger fire each time. More damage each time. More victims.

Fire is his drug. It's almost impossible for him to quit without help...

The message must have been crystal clear. The best minds in the world have been listening to his made up explanation. And the reaction? A joke.

Morgan has given him a pitiful look, Hotch has deliberately ignored the words and Gideon? Well, SSA Jason Gideon has seen right through him. Of course. He always does. But that has been it. Afterwards – nothing. His mentor has not even tried to talk to him.

Why?

Oblivious to everything and everyone around him, Spencer Reid walks down the streets of DC. It is dark and he has no idea where he is. And he doesn't care.

Today he has given it a try. One final try. He has practically screamed for help, for someone to support him, to listen to him. He hasn't been expecting much. A few words of encouragement would have been enough for the moment. Or perhaps a friendly slap on the back, a small smile that says "it's gonna be alright". It would have been a start.

Nothing. He's gotten nothing from his colleagues who always claim to care about him. They've just kept ignoring the issue because it has been so very convenient.

A loud horn right next to him. Reid looks numbly at the upset driver of the car that has come to a halt just in time. He hasn't even noticed that he is crossing a street. Wild gestures from the man behind the steering wheel. He is shouting, but no sounds reach Reid's ears through the windshield.

He stares at the angry driver for a long moment, then he simply continues his walk. He doesn't know where he is heading. He has no goal, no destination. But something inside his head tells him that he has to keep moving.

Don't stop. If you stop you will have to think. You will have to face the fact that you are alone.

Reid quickens his pace. There are no street lamps in the small alley. It is so dark. And so cold. And he doesn't care. What could possibly happen? he wonders. Perhaps he should just go home. And then? He knows what is waiting for him in the little uncomfortable apartment he calls 'home'.

The next dose. Neatly prepared in the morning.

He doesn't want it anymore. He doesn't want to spend his days like a living dead anymore. Like a ghost. Either he will manage to get over it or...

Suddenly hands from behind, pushing him against the brick stone wall. Reid hears a surprised yelp escaping his own lips. He doesn't fight back as hands are examining his clothes, his body, the content of his pockets. He can feel more than two hands probing, prodding, hurting. He really doesn't see the point in fighting a group of people. He is not like Morgan or Hotch. Far from that. And a small part of him wants it, wants to feel them hurting him. Wants to feel their fists making contact with his kidneys, their feet kicking him when he's already on the ground.

Are they talking to him? Reid can only hear bits of it. Torn words, insults, a verbal assault following the physical one. He takes it. As always.

Then silence. Only a brief moment of peace. Another disturbing sound. His brain is trained to recognize it, his body is trained to react.

He flips his phone open and listens.

Gideon.

Of all people.

Asking Reid where he is, what happened, if he can move. He tries.

"No", he whispers.

A calming voice tells him to stay where he is, to keep is phone turned on. Gideon is on his way.

He doesn't know how long he's been lying in the dirt. He is curled up into a tight ball. Waiting.

Then finally the sound of a car engine being stopped. A flashlight. Seconds later hands on his shoulders. Gentle hands this time. And again, the voice...

Reid finds himself sitting in the passenger seat of Gideon's car. They don't talk. He just keeps staring out of the window, watching the houses and streetlights passing by as the car moves further towards its destination.

Not much longer and both men are in Gideon's living room. Reid can't remember how he's gotten from the car into the house. Or how he's gotten from the dirty street into the car. He's lost time somehow.

He feels Gideon wrapping a blanket around him, watches Gideon putting a cup of hot tea on the table before him, feels Gideon sitting down on the couch right next to him.

Reid knows he isn't able to hold the cup right now. It's been too long. His hands have started shaking already, cold sweat is covering his forehead already.

"You don't have to do this on your own," says Gideon.

He can feel the warm eyes of his mentor on him. And he wants to laugh out loudly.

He smirks.

"We're all here for you," Gideon tries again, with a tiny bit more force in his voice.

Reid pulls the blanket tighter around his too thin body and says: "No, you're not."

He hears a clicking sound in the back of Gideon's throat as the older man swallows hard.

"I let you down. I'm sorry. I wanted to give you a chance to handle things on your own."

Now this is a surprise. He turns to face his mentor. "I've been handling things on my own my entire life, Gideon."

"I know."

"I...I thought you like me." And he looks down at his skinny hands again. He feels unwanted tears rising, but struggles to keep them down. He doesn't want to humiliate himself any further.

Reid can't see the appalled look Gideon is giving him. "Of course, I like you. Reid..." The experienced profiler trails off, not knowing where to start.

Gideon doesn't say another word. He puts an arm around his protégé's bony shoulder and pulls him close.

Reid wants to pull away, but doesn't have the strength. He doesn't know what is going on. He isn't used to that kind of closeness, that kind of gentleness, that simple gesture of comfort. He lets it happen, though. Just like the previous attack.

"I'll help you get through it. We'll do this together, alright?"

Strong fingers are brushing the long dirty strands of hair out of his eyes. "Alright?" Gideon asks again.

"Don't promise things you can't keep," Reid whispers, just loud enough for his mentor to hear it.

He will leave me.

"I don't," Gideon assures and repeats: "I'm right here. We'll do this together."

Reid pulls away to reach for the cup. As he leans forwards he feels Gideon's hand losing contact to his shoulder.

"Really?" he asks.

And he can almost hear Gideon's smile when the older man replies with a confident "really".

With shaking hands Reid takes his hot drink and nods weakly.

Liar.