Title: Rub a dub dub
By: Stacy L.A. Stronach & nebula99
Pairing: Hotch/Reid/Morgan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Prompt: 014 Pornstars (for wtf27)
Word count: 10,027
Warnings: threesomes, voyeurism, crack!fic (but this is wtf27), and we mean it when we say crack!fic. You were warned!
Authors' notes: This started, as I'm sure many co-written fics do, in IM. It grew from there. We are a dangerous combination....

***

JJ Jareau was sitting at the table on the BAU's jet. She had her laptop open and while it looked like she was working on a report from the team's latest case, she was not. Instead, she was IMing Penelope Garcia.

Jareau says: Garcia, I need to talk to you. Can you make this so no one else can read/find it?

Garcia says: Of course, I am the Oracle of Quantico. This must be good. One sec.
Garcia says: Done, what's up?

Jareau says: Something really...weird happened at the hotel

Garcia says: You got lucky?

Jareau says: ha ha. I didn't but Morgan did

Garcia says: WTF? Who is she?

Jareau says: That's just it, not a she...and not just one
Jareau says: Damn, g2g, POS. talk when we get back bye

In her office at Quantico, Garcia let out a scream of frustration. "Damn it! JJ, what are you talking about!" She looked at the clock; she had over an hour before the plane was due to land. "You'd better get back on IM if you get the chance," Garcia muttered before turning her attention back to the video analysis report she was working on.

It was almost an hour and half before the team actually made it back to the BAU offices. Garcia watched from her door and as soon as JJ was in her office, Garcia went over to her phone and hit the button for JJ's extension.

"Jareau."

"You'd better get your butt down here, Blondie, and fast!" was all Garcia said before breaking the connection.

In her office, JJ laughed out loud. She stowed her gear before walking over to Garcia's office, knowing that if she didn't report in as ordered, Garcia would visit plagues of computer viruses on her or something.

She knocked on Garcia's door, surprised the tech wasn't standing there, waiting for her.

"Enter o' fortunate one."

JJ cautiously opened the door. "You wanted to see me?"

Garcia jumped up, shoving the door closed. "Yes," she hissed. "Why didn't you IM me again from the plane? I've been waiting almost two hours to talk to you!" She sat in her chair, rolling back to her desk, still staring at JJ.

"I'm sorry, but Gideon wanted to talk. Any other time, he says maybe three words to me that aren't related to a case. Lord."

"Cut the chit-chat. Morgan had two guys in his room last night?" Garcia asked, leaning forward in her chair.

"Yes!" JJ said, grinning as Garcia's brown eyes opened wide. "And you will NOT believe who it was in the room with him, either..." JJ looks around before leaning down and whispering into Garcia's ear. "It was Reid and...Hotch!"

"Ohmygod!" Garcia squealed. "No frickin' way. I mean, Reid, I could see but Hotch? SSA Aaron Hotchner? Having sex with Morgan AND Reid? C'mon, JJ, you...must've been hearing things."

"Hearing things, like what?"

"A bad porn movie?"

"That just happened to have three characters named Spence, Derek, and Aaron? A little too much coincidence."

"Hmm, I suppose. But you know," Garcia glanced at JJ out of the corner of her eyes. "They would be kinda hot together."

"Penelope!"

"What, don't tell me it didn't turn you on, just a little bit, hearing them. Too bad you couldn't've got pictures...," Garcia said.

"Well, yes, it was a little, arousing, I'll admit. But-" JJ's phone rang and she answered it. "Yes, sir," she said. "Hotch wants to meet with me about the post case press release. Oh, God, how am I going to NOT think about what I know?" she sighed, walking toward the door of Garcia's office.

As she opened the door, Garcia said, "Picture him in his underwear!"

"Not helping, Garcia!" JJ replied, walking out the door.

Laughing at JJ's frustration, Garcia went back to work looking for some files that Morgan had asked her for in relation to another case.

Forty five minutes later, Garcia set the box containing the files Morgan needed on his desk. She glanced at the monitor on his desk and then looked again. He'd left his IM program up and her eyes automatically scanned it. She started to turn away but the words on the screen finally sunk in. Garcia leaned closer, reading it carefully this time.

Morgan says: When?

Reid says: H. says 7 on Friday. I'll bring the rubber ducky. *smirk*

Morgan says: *rolls eyes* What is it with you and the duck, man? 7 is fine. Gotta get some work done now.

Morgan leaves conversation.

Garcia stood with her hands still gripping the box and just barely remembered to shut her mouth as she stared at the screen. She wondered if that IM meant what she thought it meant. She glanced up when she heard Morgan laughing and quickly stopped staring at his computer screen. In the few seconds it took him to reach the desk, she'd managed to compose herself, enough that she hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Hey, Garcia, you found what I needed?" he asked with a smile.

"Of course. Did you doubt your Goddess?" she replied, smirking at him.

He leaned in, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Not for a moment."

"Good! Anyway, I went back ten years instead of five and came up with a bunch more stuff-this is everything I found. Have fun!" Garcia said, letting go of the box.

"Thanks, darlin'."

"Any time, Studly," Garcia said, walking away. Suddenly she had an idea, a wonderfully awful idea.... She turned around and glanced at Morgan slyly. "So, you going to the gym tonight?"

Morgan looked confused. "Yeah, same time as always, why?"

Garcia leaned closer to Morgan. "Well, if I'm gonna think about you all hot and sweaty, I just want to make sure it's at the right time," she whispered before walking away, the sound of Morgan's laughter following her.

She made her way back to her office, the entire time thinking about the plan that had formed in her mind. Garcia was tempted to tell JJ but she feared the other woman would talk her out of it; however Garcia was certain that if she involved JJ after it was in motion, any protests would be token. Smiling at her genius, Garcia sat in her chair and got to work.
------------------------------------

Derek Morgan's house.
6:15 p.m.

Garcia had watched Morgan leave for the gym and waited 10 minutes to make sure he wasn't returning; she'd have almost an hour to complete her mission. She moved her car to park in his driveway and climbed out, grabbing her bag and a box out of the backseat before going around to Morgan's back door. As soon as she put the key in the lock and turned it, Clooney started barking. "It's me, Clooney, hush now," she said, disarming the alarm system. This was one of the many times she was glad that Morgan entrusted her to look after his dog when the team went on away trips, it meant she had a key and the code.

She set the box on the counter and then leaned over to pet Clooney, rubbing his ears until he gave a little doggy groan. "You love Penelope, don't you, Clooney. Yes, you do!" Once the dog had had his fill of attention, Garcia started taking plastic containers out of the box-they were filled with some of Morgan's preferred casserole and one of his favourite cakes. Often, after a tough case, especially one where the team had been out of town, Garcia would cook and bake for Morgan and leave the food as a surprise for him. Her brothers had always told her the way to a man's heart was through his stomach.

Arranging a couple of the containers on the counter, along with a note, so Morgan would notice, Garcia smiled. It was perfect; he'd never suspect she'd done more than a delivery.

Once done with the food, Garcia walked down the hallway to the master bedroom; she dropped her bag on the bed and started pulling out the electronics she'd brought with her, smiling at just how small they made surveillance cameras these days. She quickly sorted things into neat piles and got to work. She had to wire the bedroom and the bathroom-after all, where else would Reid need a rubber ducky? She opened her laptop so that she could test the feeds once she'd installed everything.

Twenty minutes later and Garcia was on her way out the door. She was pleased that it hadn't taken her very long to get things set up. Getting in her car, she blasted her music up and headed for home-Friday seemed a long way off and Garcia was praying that the team didn't get a case that would keep them busy or take them away for Friday.

------------------------------------

Friday night
Garcia's office
6:45 p.m.

Garcia hits the switch that brings up the feeds from the cameras she put in Morgan's house. She smiles when she hears water running and looking at the cam for the bathroom she can't help but gasp. There's Morgan, in all his naked glory, getting the tub ready. The man has a truly impressive physique...everywhere; even flaccid his dick is big and his ass is perfection in the flesh. Garcia fans herself, his ass looked good in tight jeans but even better in nothing at all. He is a joy to watch; the way his muscles shift when he moves, his complete comfort at wandering around naked.

When she hears Clooney barking, Garcia smiles; Hotch and Spencer must be there. She taps the speed dial for JJ's phone. She watches as Morgan walks out into the bedroom, greeting both men with rather long, tongue filled kisses. She hears him say something about getting undressed when JJ answers her phone.

"Jareau."

"JJ, can you come to my office? There's something I need you to take a look at."

"Right now?"

"Yep," Garcia says, breaking the connection.

Two minutes later, she hears a knock on her door. "It's me," JJ says walking in. "What did you want me to-" She stops mid sentence as she sees what is on the monitors in front of her. "Oh. My. God. Garcia, what in the hell?" She looks at Garcia, blue eyes wide.

"Well, we wanted to know what was going on. What better way to find out?"

On the screen showing Morgan's bedroom, Hotch and Spencer are both taking their underwear off. JJ is silent, staring at the screen while the two men kiss, their hands roving over one another's bodies.

"I just knew Reid was a tighty whities type," Garcia says.

"Do I want to know how you did this?" JJ asks, reaching out blindly for a chair, unable to tear her eyes from the screen. Finding the edge of one, she pulls it over and sits down. She looks at the feed from the bathroom, where Morgan is leaning over the tub, shutting off the taps. "Oh, god, he's...gorgeous. And that tub looks absolutely sinful, it's huge."

Garcia grins. "Probably not and it's a whirlpool tub. It's nice."

"You've used it?"

"I go over to feed Clooney when Morgan's away. He told me I could use it if I wanted. Well, I wanted."

"Okay, tell me how you knew...and the cameras?"

"Morgan doesn't always lock his workstation when he leaves it. I was dropping off some files and saw an IM from Reid. I went over when Morgan was at the gym...after all, I have his key and codes...easy peasy."

JJ shakes her head. "Penelope, I-we shouldn't really watch this, should we?"

Leaning close to JJ, Garcia swats her shoulder. "Of course we should."

"Oh, they're all getting into the tub?" JJ says, amazed.

"It's a big tub," Garcia replies.

JJ squints at the screen. "What is that Reid's putting on the edge of the tub? It looks like a rubber ducky!"

Garcia snorts a laugh. "Oh, God, he mentioned that in his IM to Morgan-I had no idea he'd really bring one!" Her laughter trails off as she becomes distracted by what is happening on the monitor.

------------------------------------

Hotch leans back in the tub, watching his lovers-contrasts in so many ways: dark and light, muscular and skinny, suave and geeky-as they kiss before Morgan climbs into the tub, sitting next to him.

After reaching around Hotch's back to turn on the jets for the tub, Morgan lets his arm slide across Hotch's shoulders, urging him closer. He stares at Hotch for a moment before smiling. "Relaxed?"

Hotch grins. "Definitely, I love this tub."

Morgan smirks at him for a moment before pressing his mouth against Hotch's, licking at his lips. Hotch reaches up, cupping Morgan's face in his hand as he opens his mouth to the kiss, his tongue pushing against Morgan's. Their kisses are short, open-mouthed, and hungry; tongues swiping into one another's mouths as lips barely touch and their breathing becomes heavier.

Spencer kneels between the two men and watching them kiss, he whimpers. He moves forward a bit more, letting one hand trail along Hotch's leg, while the other caresses Morgan's. He keeps his eyes on what they are doing, even as he inches forward, his hands moving up their legs as he does so. Letting his hands move all the way to the top of their thighs, Spencer takes his hands off their bodies and relishes the soft moans both Hotch and Morgan make. Grinning wickedly, he stares at them while he reaches down, taking Hotch's cock in his left hand and Morgan's in his right and stroking them, hard and fast.

Hotch and Morgan stop kissing; both of them moan deeply, hips thrusting up. Hotch reaches out, pulling Spencer close and kissing him; Spencer lets go of their cocks, bracing himself with hands on their stomachs. Before he can do much more than open his mouth to Hotch's probing tongue, Spencer is dragged away from Hotch, his mouth covered by Morgan's. His lovers trade him back and forth a few times, each time, moving closer until finally, the three of them were sharing a kiss; eyes closed, tongues touching, each man moaning.

After a few minutes, Hotch moves back and sighs. "Can we move somewhere more...comfortable?" he asks. "The water's getting cold, too."

"Like my bed?" Morgan asks.

"Mmm. Sounds great," Spencer says.

Hotch stands up first, stretching his arms over his head. "Yes, I agree, the bed sounds wonder-" Hotch's voice trails off into a moan as Spencer sucks his cock deep into his mouth. "Jesus, Spence," Hotch manages. Closing his eyes, Hotch leans his head back against the wall, enjoying the slick heat of Spencer's mouth for a few moments.

When he pulls his dick out of Spencer's mouth, the younger man looks up at him. Then Hotch is urging him to stand and once he is, Hotch pushes Spencer against the wall, leaning in and whispering in his ear, "You're just a little slut for us, aren't you? Let us do what we want?"

All Spencer can do is close his eyes and groan because Hotch is kissing and biting the side of his neck. He grabs Hotch's shoulders so he won't lose his balance and he lets Hotch push against his body, their cocks rubbing together. As Hotch takes his mouth in a possessive, tongue filled kiss, Spencer feels Morgan pushing against him from behind, his cock sliding in the crevice of Spencer's ass. "Oh, you are so right, Hotch, he's a slut but it had better be just for us. You're not anyone else's are you?" Morgan asks, and his breath is warm over Spencer's ear and he shudders.

Spencer shakes his head "no" and Morgan bites his neck, hard, and then licks at the spot with his tongue. "That's good, baby."

Hotch pulls back a little and Spencer lets his head fall back on Morgan's shoulder, letting the other man support him. Hotch runs his hands over Spencer's flushed chest, fingers pinching his nipples and Spencer moans again. They were trying to kill him, that has to be it and as soon as he can spare two brain cells he'll complain about it, but for right now, he's going to enjoy it.

"I think we need to get him into bed, don't you, Derek?"

"Mmm, hmm. Sounds good," Morgan replies, his voice low and gravely. "C'mon, Spence, I put the silk sheets on the bed, just for you."

Spencer chuckles before getting out of the tub, taking the sinfully soft and fluffy white towel Hotch is holding out to him.

JJ gasps, turning to look at Garcia. "Dear God, who knew Reid -"

"Was such a slut?" Garcia finishes for her.

JJ nods and returns her attention to the screen in time to see Spencer fall onto his back on the burgundy silk sheets of Morgan's bed. He stretches out, arms crossing behind his head, legs spread out, cock hard as he watches the other two men come into the bedroom.

Spencer grins, wriggling on the king sized bed. "Oh, yes," he says, sliding his legs across the silk sheets.

Hotch wanders over to the light switches and starts dimming the overhead lights and arranging the lamps. Then he flips through the pile of CDs next to Morgan's player. He grimaces at the selection before choosing one and putting it on.

Meanwhile, Morgan climbs on to the bed and stretches out next to Spencer. "You like?" he asks, reaching out and stroking a hand down the young man's chest. In reply, Spencer reaches for him and pulls him down for a kiss.

--------------------------------

The spy cam view in the bedroom is much better than the bathroom and the sound quality is clearer as well. JJ and Garcia can hear the sighs and groans both Spencer and Morgan are making as the kiss deepens and they roll over, limbs intertwined. Morgan has the fingers of one hand threaded into Spencer's hair, while his other hand is massaging Spencer's ass. Spencer has hooked one leg around Morgan's waist, and is clinging to him.

Garcia spots Morgan's cell phone on the nightstand. She smirks and raises her eyebrows at JJ. "Shall I?" she asks, picking up the phone.

JJ puts her hand to her mouth and giggles. "No, you can't!"

"Let's just see if he answers it," replies Garcia and she hits Morgan's number on speed dial.

It rings and Morgan reaches out a hand, feeling for it while continuing to explore Spencer's mouth. He flips it open and reluctantly pulls away from the kiss. "Garcia!" he says in surprise.

"Hey, whatcha doing, big boy?" says Garcia, her voice low and breathy.

"Oh, nothing much," replies Morgan as Hotch joins them on the bed. He whispers to Spencer and they both laugh. Morgan waves a hand to shush them.

"Sounds like you're having a party, sweetcheeks, how come you didn't invite me?" asks Garcia.

Morgan stifles a groan as Hotch lies down next to him and begins to lick and suck at his neck. "Just got some guys over, you know, watching the GAME!" His voice raises an octave on the last word as Spencer bends over and runs his tongue across the slit of Morgan's cock.

Garcia mutes the phone for a second, giggling hysterically. JJ has her hand pressed hard over her mouth, her shoulders shaking and her eyes watering.

Then Garcia catches her breath and carries on talking, never taking her eyes off the screen. "Ooh, football. All those guys in tight shorts, showing off their asses."

"Mm, asses," replies Morgan, absently, as Spencer slides round on the bed to dip his head into between Morgan's thighs; Spencer's ass is right next to Morgan's head. Garcia and JJ giggle again, as Morgan leans over to take a mouthful of Spencer's ass cheek. Spencer lifts his hips, pushing his ass into Morgan's mouth. Morgan sucks at the soft flesh and then bites, causing Spencer to squeak and then groan.

Garcia sighs into the mouthpiece of the phone. "Tell me, gorgeous," she says, "Having the boys over and trying to concentrate on the game; it must get pretty . . . hard." She flinches and swats JJ away as she playfully tries to slap her.

A smile spreads across Morgan's face as Hotch moves to face Spencer across his body. "Sometimes it is hard," he replies.

Spencer gives Morgan's cock a squeeze. "Tell me about it," he mutters. Then he lifts his head and moves to kiss Hotch.

JJ and Garcia watch for a moment in silence as Hotch and Spencer kiss, deeply and powerfully. The kiss is slow and soulful, lips moving gently and purposefully. It is as though they have forgotten Morgan is there. Both men have their eyes closed and are kneeling either side of Morgan. Hotch has his hand clamped round the back of Spencer's neck and Spencer is gripping his lover's shoulders.

"Oh. My. God," says JJ. "They are so hot together. Who would have guessed that Hotch and Reid are so . . . so . . . sexy?" Garcia nods, her mouth slightly open.

Morgan evidently agrees and he stares at his lovers, his eyes dark with lust. Then, seemingly feeling left out, he slips a hand between them, tapping each man on the chest. Hotch and Spencer break the kiss and Spencer moves his attention back to Morgan's groin.

Garcia's lips twitch mischievously. "Anyway, doll, I need to talk to you about that software you wanted," she says, cheerfully, "I'm sure you've got five minutes for me."

She smirks as Morgan flails. "Uh, five minutes?" he gasps, "Um, listen, could we . . ."

Hotch is watching him, kneeling with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

Garcia mutes the phone and turns to JJ. "Hotch is getting pretty mad. He's really got that whole death glower thing going on."

JJ whispers back. "He doesn't look quite so scary with a raging hard-on though!"

Garcia talks to Morgan again. "Oh, it won't take all night, sugar lips," she breathes.

The irritation clearly showing on his face, Hotch snatches the phone from Morgan's hand and ends the call. He tosses the phone to the corner of the room and looks at Spencer. "Jeez, I thought you talked a lot," he sighs. "I'm sure your mouth has better things to do, Derek," he says, turning to Morgan.

JJ and Garcia are doubled over laughing. When she has regained some control of herself, Garcia wipes her eyes and turns back to the screen.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. Both women freeze.

"Er, who is it," calls Garcia, her fingers poised over the keyboard.

"Prentiss," replies a disembodied voice. "I just need to . . ."

"Sorry, very, very busy right now," interrupts Garcia, "Come back later."

Garcia gestures towards the door and JJ runs over and locks it. They exchange a glance and then turn back to the screens.

Hotch is lying face down on the bed. Spencer has pushed his ass cheeks apart and is licking and tonguing his hole. Hotch is groaning and squirming, pushing his ass back against Spencer's tongue. Morgan is lying on his side next to Hotch, one arm draped across him, caressing his neck and shoulders, while his other hand is rummaging in a large holdall on the floor beside the bed.

"What's in the bag, boys?" muses Garcia. She turns to JJ, "What do you reckon," she starts then gasps. "Jennifer Jareau - what are you going to do?"

JJ is holding her cell phone. "Call Hotch," she laughs. "Ten bucks says he answers." She waggles the phone at Garcia.

"No bet, lady," replies Garcia. "Hotch always answers his phone. Even when he's got his mouth full - look!" She points at the screen, where Hotch has lifted his head to plunge his tongue into Morgan's mouth.

JJ shrugs and then dials Hotch's number. They can hear his cell phone ringing from the other nightstand. JJ counts the rings. "One . . . two . . . three . . ."

On hearing his cell, Hotch groans and pulls away from the kiss with Morgan. He pushes up onto his knees, while Spencer runs his tongue up his back. As he reaches backwards to grab his phone, he knocks Spencer off balance. Spencer scrabbles in vain at the slippery sheets before sliding off the bed and landing with a thump on the floor.

"Ouch," frowns Garcia. "Silk sheets should come with a health warning."

Hotch reaches a hand out to Spencer and pulls him back onto the bed, looking at him with concern. Then he answers the phone on the fifth ring as Spencer rubs at his ass, frowning.

"Hotchner," he barks. He rolls his eyes as Spencer points to his ass and pouts and then Morgan obliges by kissing and licking it.

"Oh, hello, sir," says JJ brightly. "I hope I haven't disturbed you. You sound a little . . . breathless."

"I'm perfectly fine, JJ," replies Hotch quickly, "I've just come back from jogging." He scowls at Spencer and Morgan who are snickering, in between kissing and delving into the bag.

"Oh, that's good," says JJ, "I thought I'd caught you at a bad time." Garcia almost falls off her chair laughing at this and JJ shushes her, her hand covering the mouthpiece.

Spencer slips one hand between Hotch's legs and starts to fondle his balls. Hotch moves his mouth away from the phone and lets out a groan. Then he speaks to JJ again. "What do you want?" he asks tersely.

"You," mutters Morgan, pulling a large vibrator from the bag. He raises an eyebrow at Spencer, who licks his lips.

JJ takes a deep breath to control herself. "Are you sure this isn't a bad time, sir?"

Hotch sets his jaw. "Not . . . at . . . all," he says through gritted teeth. Spencer is still rolling his balls around in the palm of his hand, and idly stroking his own cock. Just then, Morgan switches the vibrator on and a loud buzzing sound comes over the speakers in Garcia's office.

The mouthful of soda Garcia has just taken is quickly spat all over her desk. JJ makes a choking sound and then asks, "Sir, I think I can hear a funny noise. Is there interference on the line?"

"No," gasps Hotch as Morgan offers the vibrator to Spencer, who licks it and then draws it into his mouth, pursing his lips around it. "It's just Haley, er, vacuuming."

JJ holds the phone away and doubles over with silent laughter. She thinks she might just pee her pants.

Garcia lets out a squeak when Morgan produces a butt plug and proceeds to squeeze lube onto it. Hotch shudders at the sight, and bends slightly, offering his ass to Morgan. Hotch turns back to the phone. "JJ - what . . . do . . . you . . . WANT?" he yells the last word, feeling Morgan sliding a lubricated finger into his ass.

"Oh, never mind, Hotch," says JJ quickly. "Gideon's here now, he can answer my question. Thanks anyway, bye." She hangs up.

Hotch switches his cell phone off and hurls it into the corner with Morgan's. Garcia and JJ shriek with laughter as he glances around for Spencer's phone and does the same with that.

"Vacuuming?" asks Morgan with a leer. "Is that the best you could come up with?"

Hotch glares. "Like watching the game with the guys was any better?"

They are both quickly distracted by the sight of Spencer lying back on the bed, legs spread and running the vibrator over his cock and balls. He closes his eyes and lets out a moan. Hotch and Morgan look at each other and then back to Spencer and each of them breathes out heavily.

----------------------------------

Morgan leans towards Hotch, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Look at your boy, Hotch," he says in a low, husky voice, "Oh, man, he's bad."

Hotch bends to take vibrator out of Spencer's hand. He stares at Spencer and then replies to Morgan, "Yeah. He's bad." Hotch drops to his hands and knees, crawling towards Spencer and then straddling him. He takes the young man's hands and pins them either side of his head. "He's very, very bad."

Morgan moves to kiss Hotch - a deep, tongue filled kiss. Spencer squirms underneath Hotch's hold, but he doesn't try too hard to get away. He is enjoying watching Morgan and Hotch together - and waiting to see what they have in mind for him.

Morgan pulls back from the kiss and speaks to Hotch, not looking at Spencer. "What are we going to do with your boy, Hotch?" He licks his lips. "You know he'll let us do anything." He emphasises the last word.

Spencer looks from Morgan to Hotch, wriggling his hips and whimpering slightly. Morgan and Hotch talking about him like this is an incredible turn on.

Hotch reaches out and twists Morgan's nipple. ""What do you want to do to him?" he asks.

"Fuck him," growls Morgan. "I want to fuck him - I bet you keep him nice and tight."

Hotch groans, "Yeah, he's good and tight."

Morgan bends over and runs his tongue along Spencer's cock. "I'm gonna fuck his tight ass, and you can fuck his mouth."

Hearing this, Spencer lets out a soft moan and Hotch kisses his neck. Morgan continues, "Not yet though. I want to see just how much of a slut your boy is. Let's see just how bad he wants it."

Spencer is groaning, lying helpless on his back as Morgan licks and sucks his balls and Hotch bites gently all around his neck, teasing and tormenting him. Morgan has lost the jokey tone he normally has and there is a delicious darkness in his voice. Spencer trusts both men not to hurt him - but he knows they will take great pleasure in teasing him as much as he can stand - and maybe a bit more.

Morgan has two fingers in Hotch's ass and his other hand is working its way to Spencer's hole. Spencer spreads his legs wider and cants his hips, urging Morgan's finger to its destination. He is longing to kiss Hotch, to thrust his tongue into his mouth, but his lover is deliberately avoiding his lips, kissing and biting everywhere else instead.

As Morgan's finger pushes into him, Spencer hisses and then moans. He hears Hotch let out a gasp and then a groan and watches as he turns to Morgan.

"You like?" asks Morgan, his eyes shining. Hotch nods and Morgan continues, "Wait until I switch it on."

------------------------------------

JJ turns to Garcia, shocked. "Did you see that? Did you see what Morgan did . . . to Hotch? Surely that's got to hurt?"

Garcia nods, open-mouthed. "Uh-huh. Vibrating butt plug. Wow - never would have thought of Hotch liking one of those."

JJ narrows her eyes at Garcia. "You know a lot about it."

Garcia coughs and takes a sip of her drink. "Well, you know, I just read about them . . . somewhere...on the Internet."

JJ smirks. "Oo-kay," she replies, turning back to the screen.

------------------------------------
Morgan slides the switch on the butt plug to the on position; a low humming noise can be heard over the speakers in Garcia's office. Hotch is still leaning over Spencer, but now his eyes are closed and he's moaning.

Hotch gasps as Morgan slides the butt plug in and out of his ass, seeming to brush his prostate every single time. He leans down, ass still up in the air. He kisses and bites at the side of Spencer's throat before licking his way down Spencer's chest to his nipples, sucking and licking them.

His head goes back as Morgan continued to fuck him with the butt plug. Hotch knows that he's near the edge. "Derek, please, stop," he begs in a whisper, trying to arch away from the overwhelming sensations.

"Why, baby, doesn't it feel good?"

Hotch opens his eyes and stares at Morgan. "It does, it feels too good, but I want to come in Spencer's mouth, I want to fuck his mouth and come in it and if you keep that up? Well, I won't make it."

Morgan chuckles and leans in and kisses Hotch. "Hey, no problem. Can't have you missing out on having some major fun with your boy, now can I?"

Spencer moans as he watches his lovers kiss, they're so hot together. The noise makes the other men look at him and they smile at one another. Hotch leans down again returning his mouth to sucking on Spencer's nipples, as Morgan starts finger fucking him even harder. Spencer's hands grip the silk sheets tightly as his head tilts back...he's not sure how much more of this torture he can take.

------------------------------------
JJ gasps and her hand flies to her mouth. "What are they doing to Reid?"

Garcia gives a low, throaty laugh. "I think he's enjoying it." She adjusts the volume on her speakers and both women listen as the room fills with the sound of Spencer's moaning, growing louder and more incoherent.

"First time I've ever noticed him lost for words!" laughs JJ. "Oh my . . ."

------------------------------------

Spencer can hardly speak. He feels as though he may explode. The teasing fingers and tongues have nearly tipped him over the edge and his body is quivering with need. Disjointed words flash into his brain but he cannot articulate them; words like suck . . . . touch . . . hold . . . come . . . fuck. All he can actually do is beg. "Please," he whispers, "Please . . ."

Morgan gives a dirty chuckle. "Please what, pretty boy?" He twists the fingers he is pushing in and out of Spencer's ass and is rewarded with a choked cry, close to a sob of frustration.

Spencer whimpers and rolls his head from side to side. "Please," he gasps, "Ohhh . . . please."

Morgan looks at Hotch, who is opening a condom packet. "Shall we?" he asks, "Want to give your boy what he wants?"

Hotch nods, his dark eyes glazed with desire. He rolls the condom down Morgan's cock and then takes both of Spencer's hands. He pulls his lover up and then speaks to him in a deep, dark voice that makes Spencer shiver. "Get on your hands and knees."

Spencer obeys. Hotch's tone and the look he is giving him make it impossible to do otherwise. Morgan still has his fingers in Spencer's ass and Spencer rocks his hips back and forth, pushing onto Morgan's hand. He knows that both Morgan and Hotch are getting turned on from tormenting him. He really should be annoyed about it, but it all feels so good and he doesn't want to give them any reason to stop. He'll tell them about it later. But not right now.

Hotch slides off the bed and stands facing Spencer, holding his cock at Spencer's lips. The young man stretches his tongue and licks at the head, and is rewarded with a groan from Hotch. Spencer gasps as Hotch takes hold of his chin and pushes on his cheeks, squeezing his mouth open. Then Hotch moves his hips forwards and slides his dick right into Spencer's waiting mouth.

Spencer closes his lips around Hotch's cock, relishing the warm hardness in his mouth. He keeps his tongue moving around the head, knowing that Hotch will be groaning aloud before long. He can feel Hotch's hand caressing his hair, stroking his fingers through the silken locks, both soothing and encouraging him.

Morgan slips his fingers out of Spencer's ass and shuffles closer to him on his knees. He knows that Spencer cannot answer him, but speaks anyway. Placing a hand on Spencer's back, he growls, his voice thick with lust, "Get ready, boy, cus I'm gonna fuck you." He positions his dick at Spencer's entrance and starts to push into him.

Spencer moans around Hotch's cock as he feels Morgan entering him. The other man moves slowly and steadily, allowing Spencer's muscles to relax around his very large cock. Once his cock has filled Spencer's ass, Morgan pulls back very, very slowly, grinning at the muffled and choked sounds Spencer is making. Then, Morgan grips Spencer's hips with both hands and starts to fuck him, with urgency and rhythm.

Glad of the supportive hold Morgan has of him, Spencer surrenders to the sensations surging through his body. He is making moaning sounds deep in his throat, leaning his head forward to take in more of Hotch's cock. He swipes his tongue around the head and the slit, shuddering as Hotch's grip tightens in his hair.

The feeling of being fucked is starting to consume him. Spencer is acting on instinct now, jerking his hips as Morgan thrusts into him. His cock is rock hard and his balls are starting to ache. He longs for Morgan, anyone, to touch him. He cannot cry out or moan properly, just make sounds in his throat around Hotch's thrusting cock.

Spencer can hear the familiar sound of Hotch groaning as he fucks his mouth. He knows his lover is close. Morgan is grunting and gasping, his hips working as he fucks Spencer deep and hard. The young man lets out a choked whimper, clawing his fingers into the sheets beneath him. Spencer closes his eyes and at last, Morgan takes pity on him, reaching round to grab hold of his neglected cock.

With a loud cry, Hotch jerks his hips and Spencer swallows frantically as Hotch comes, thrusting his dick deep into his mouth. Morgan is pounding into him and pumping his cock as he fucks him. Spencer feels the pressure building and Morgan's fingers dig into his hip as the man fucking him groans loudly. "Oh, Spence, oh fuck," grunts Morgan as he comes.

The hand stroking his dick increases the speed and pressure and then Spencer is coming. Eyes closed, he jerks his hips and throws his head back, Hotch's softening cock slipping out of his mouth. "Oh . . . ohhh . . . oh . . . ," gasps Spencer, "Oh . . . f . . . oh f . . . f . . . FUCK!" His whole body shakes and he is vaguely aware of Hotch slipping his hands under his armpits to support him, as Morgan hooks an arm around his waist. His lovers hold him up as Spencer's orgasm thunders through his entire body.

(JJ and Garcia are silent, mouths open as they watch the screens. They have clasped hands, but neither of them realise it.)

Spencer lets his head drop, his hair hanging down around his face. He is still feeling the rush through his body and is barely aware of Morgan pulling out of him. His arms shake and suddenly he can no longer support his weight. His body slumps and Hotch grabs him and lowers him gently to the bed.

Morgan leans over him, kissing and stroking his back, as Spencer lies face down on the bed, panting hard. Spencer can't move - having been on the edge for so long, he feels utterly drained. His eyes are still closed and his chest is heaving, as he slowly comes back down.

Hotch squats down and kisses Spencer gently on the forehead. He strokes the hair away from his face and caresses his cheek. "Spence?" asks Hotch, "Are you OK, babe?"

Spencer opens his eyes and gives Hotch a dazed smile. "Yeah, I'm good," he whispers. "That was . . . intense." He lifts his head to share a lazy, tongue filled kiss with Hotch as Morgan moves away and starts to clean up.

Morgan tosses a wash cloth to Hotch, who gently turns Spencer over and wipes his stomach. Returning the cloth to Morgan, Hotch climbs onto the bed and lies stretched out, his head resting on a pillow. He pats the space next to him and Spencer crawls into his embrace. The young man nestles against him, resting his head on Hotch's chest and stroking down the strong arm Hotch wraps around him.

Smiling at the two of them, Morgan flops down onto the bed, stretching out and resting his head on one elbow. "You good?" he asks Spencer.

Spencer gives Morgan a broad grin. "What's next?" he asks.

"Food!" snorts Morgan, "I'm starved." He shakes his head at Spencer's enthusiasm.

Hotch plants a kiss on Spencer's forehead. "Give us old guys a chance, sweetheart. One day, you're going to give me a coronary!"

Morgan leans over and ruffles Spencer's hair. "Yeah, but you'll die with a smile on your face!"

Spencer tilts his head to look up at Hotch. "You can't die," he pouts, "Cus then I'd be all sad."

"OK, I'll stay alive then," smiles Hotch, "Just give me a chance to recover before you start getting that look in your eyes again."

"OK," says Morgan, getting up and heading towards the door. "If you two are getting all cute, I'll go get some take out menus."

"Sorry," says Spencer, looking worried, "We didn't . . ."

"No worries, man," laughs Morgan. "It's nice to see you two so happy. Now then, any requests?"

Hotch shakes his head. "Anything. You choose. But spicy is always good."

As Morgan nods and walks out of the room, Hotch bends to kiss Spencer on the end of his nose. "Remember," says Hotch, "you need to eat something with vegetables in. Coffee and cookies are not a balanced diet."

Spencer pouts again and trails a long finger over Hotch's chest. "I did have an apple today," he says and then gives Hotch a wicked grin, "And you know I just had protein."

Hotch narrows his eyes at his young lover for a moment, before starting to tickle him. Spencer rolls onto his back and squirms, giggling and trying to swat Hotch away.

------------------------------------

JJ turns to Garcia. "Wow. I have never seen anything like that before."

Garcia is nodding, her mouth slightly open. "Hot does not even start to describe that."

"You're making a copy, right?" asks JJ.

Garcia laughs. "Does a bear shit in the woods? And that music they have on? It even sounds like a cheesy porn soundtrack."

JJ is watching the feed from the bathroom as Morgan strolls in, still naked. "Oh," she gasps, "He is going towards the toilet."

Quickly, Garcia reaches over and turns off the screen. "We can't watch that!"

"You are happy to watch Spencer getting spit-roasted but you can't watch Morgan take a pee?" laughs JJ.

Garcia's hand flies to her chest in fake shock. "Spit-roasted? Jennifer Jareau - you have a potty mouth!"

JJ giggles helplessly and shrugs.

"Some things need to be done in private," sniffs Garcia, and then she turns back to the bedroom. "And besides, I want to watch the two lovebirds being cute."

JJ sighs. "Hotch and Reid are like a couple of teenagers." She shakes her head. "I still can't believe those two are together. Do you think it's the real deal?"

Both women look up at the sight of Hotch cuddling Spencer, stroking his hair and planting gentle kisses around his face.

"Sure looks that way," nods Garcia. She takes a deep breath and sighs. "Let's hope it doesn't all end in tears."

------------------------------------

Monday morning
Quantico

Garcia is getting out of her car and slinging her bag over her shoulder when she sees JJ pull into her parking spot. She walks over and waits for JJ.

"Hey, JJ, how was your weekend?"

JJ locks her car and smiles at Garcia. "Pretty good. How was yours?" she asks as they fall into step beside one another and walk into the building. "Did you get the, er, stuff removed?"

Garcia smirks. "Of course I did! Morgan is quite predictable with his gym schedule, after all. It took less time to take it down than to put it up."

"Good. You know, I don't know how I'm going to get through that wrap up meeting this morning, knowing what I know."

"We'll manage. Besides, it was worth it, wasn't it?" Garcia asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

JJ laughs. "Yeah, of course it was, but still..." she trails off as they come up to the elevator and end up standing behind Morgan.

"Hey, sweetcheeks," Garcia greets him.

Morgan turns around and grins at her. "Hey, yourself, darlin'." The elevator doors open and the three of them step into the car, with Garcia and JJ standing just behind Morgan. He presses the button for their floor and doesn't see the looks the two women exchange or the fact that both of them are trying not to giggle.

"Sooooo, how was that game?" Garcia asks, barely keeping the laughter out of her voice.

Frowning for a moment, Morgan remembers her call on Friday night and what he'd said to her. "Oh, it was great. Good game."

"Did you win?" she asks.

Morgan can't help but smirk, glad that they can't see his face. "Oh, yeah, I won big time."

Garcia and JJ look at each other and burst out laughing. When Morgan turns his head to glance at them, they laugh even harder.

He frowns and is confused about what he's said that could possibly be so funny. "Am I going to have to call HR and request random drug tests?"

"Oh, go ahead, honey, but we're just high...on life," Garcia says as she and JJ manage to get their laughter under control. Although when JJ starts humming "Everyone's a Winner", Garcia giggles again.

Morgan just stares at JJ. "Sorry, it was on the radio when I drove into work this morning-don't you hate it when you get a song stuck in your head?" she asks, looking at him with wide eyed innocence.

Before Morgan can say anything further, the doors open with a ping. He stands back and gestures for the women to walk off. "Ladies first," he says. Walking behind them, he shakes his head, honestly wondering what has gotten into his two co-workers.

Hotch is walking into the BAU offices and he turns his head when he notices them. "Meeting starts in fifteen," he says and gives them a small smile but his eyes are on Morgan. He holds the door open letting the others walk through.

JJ asks, with a sly grin, "Did you get a good work out on Friday, sir?"

Hotch pauses for a moment and then remembers her phone call on Friday. "Yes, I did actually, thanks for asking."

"That's good. I hope you helped Haley with the housework, doing that on a Friday really isn't fun," she says.

Garcia huffs a laugh, and Hotch glances at her, wondering what the hell is going on. "Um...actually, Jack knocked over a potted plant, she was just...cleaning that up," Hotch replies. When the two women look at each other and burst out laughing, Hotch stops inside the doors and looks at Morgan. "What's up with them?" he asks.

"Damned if I know, they were acting silly on the ride up. Whatever they're on? I'd like to have some," Morgan says with a laugh.

Hotch chuckles. "Maybe they just had a good weekend. I know I did," he says in a whisper.

Morgan smirks. "Yeah, so did I."

JJ and Garcia walk through the bullpen and Spencer is already at his desk, working at something on his computer. JJ pauses and looks at Spencer. "Hey, Spence, did you have fun this weekend?"

Spencer shifts in his chair before looking up at JJ. "Um, yeah, I did," he says, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips. His smile turns to a frown as JJ and Garcia look at each other and giggle.

"That's great, it's about time you had some ...fun on the weekends," JJ says. She and Garcia exchange another glance before heading their separate ways to go to their offices, leaving a very confused Spencer Reid behind.
------------------------------------

A few minutes later and Garcia is sitting in the round table room, her laptop set up, while she waits for the rest of the team to show up. JJ walks in and sits beside her. "If I don't lose it during this meeting..."

Garcia smiles, "Yeah, I know what you mean." She digs through one of her folders. "Oh, my God, a friend sent me a link to this and I just had to show you." Pulling a colour print out of the folder she hands it to JJ.

JJ reads it and looks at the picture, bursting out with a laugh. She brings a hand up to cover her mouth. "Oh, God. Is this for real?" she asks.

"Yes, ma'am, you can buy a 'Rub my Ducky' at any of your finer adult establishments or online."

"And it's waterproof? Do you think-" before JJ can finish her sentence, Reid walks in and sits in a chair opposite them.

Garcia grabs the sheet from JJ and shoves it in front of him. "Have you seen this, Spencer?" She glances at JJ and they giggle as Spencer looks at the printout.

He blushes as he hands the paper back to Garcia. "No, um, I hadn't. I...it's, ah, funny," he manages, unable to make eye contact with either woman.

They giggle and Garcia says, "I love the bondage ducky; he's so cute with that little ball gag in his mouth."

"And you know, Penelope, it brings a whole new meaning to the rubber ducky song from 'Sesame Street'," JJ says.

Garcia starts singing, "Rubber ducky, you're the one..."

"You make bath time so much fun..." JJ continues.

Spencer is staring at them, squirming in his chair. Garcia notices. "These chairs can be so uncomfortable. I've got some cushions in my office if you'd like one," she says.

"Um, er. I'm fine, really, thanks," Spencer says and he knows he's blushing. When Hotch and Morgan come into the room, he breathes a sigh of relief.

Morgan sits in the chair on Spencer's right and Hotch in the chair to Spencer's left; JJ looks at Garcia, who looks back at her, and mouths the words "spit roast" and they crack up laughing again.

Prentiss walks into the room and gives a passing glance to JJ and Garcia who've managed to tone their laughter down to giggles. She sends them a confused look as she sits at the table, opening her portfolio.

Hotch frowns at JJ and Garcia; it's odd for them to be so...silly. "Gideon's going to be a few minutes late, so we'll wait until he's here to start," Hotch says, opening up one of the case files in front of him.

Garcia smirks at JJ. "Oh, did I tell you? My friend Abby got herself a new tub last week? It's a big whirlpool one," she pauses and glances at Morgan. "Sort of like the one you have, Derek. She needed one that could fit her and her two boyfriends at the same time."

"Two boyfriends? Brave woman, one is more than enough for me!" JJ replies. She glances at the men sitting across the table and it's all she can do to hold her laughter in. Morgan is studying them, stroking his chin with his hand, a calculating look on his face; Spencer is also looking at them but his face has gone quite pale, while Hotch is staring hard at them but not quite glowering.

"Yeah, I told her that but she's happy. One of them, Tony, is a real sensualist-he bought her silk sheets for their bed," Garcia pauses for a moment, glancing at the guys. Spencer's gone even paler and he's staring at the file folder in front of him like it's some kind of lifeline. She chuckles but doesn't look at JJ, knowing that if she does, she'll start laughing and not be able to stop.

"Oh, silk sheets, that sounds sexy."

"Sexy, yeah, but those things can be dangerous. Abs said that one night, Tony jumped into bed and slid all the way across and fell on the floor. Said he landed on his ass so there was no permanent damage-but those things should come with warning labels!" Garcia looks at Spencer again and even though the poor man looks like he's ready to bolt, she can't help herself. "Hey, Reid, got any stats in that brain of yours about injuries per year from silk sheets?"

Spencer stares at her blankly. "Um, er. I, ah, no," he replies and lowers his eyes, unable to look at Garcia or JJ anymore. He just wishes the floor would open up and swallow him. He can't understand how they know but he's certain that they DO know what he was up to on Friday with Hotch and Morgan.

"Well, what about personal experience?" Garcia asks, just as Gideon walks in. He looks at her, a confused frown on his face.

Gideon sits down and turns to look at Spencer when he speaks. The young man is quite pale and seems out of sorts. He gapes at Garcia. "I've...um, never slept on silk sheets." Which isn't entirely a lie, he, Hotch and Morgan didn't get much sleep the other night.

Garcia smirks. "I didn't say anything about sleeping on them."

Gideon takes a moment to look at the others. Morgan is smirking, Hotch is very pissed off, while JJ and Garcia are both grinning and, it seems, trying not laugh. He looks at Prentiss who meets his gaze and shrugs; obviously, she doesn't know what's going on either. He glances at Reid, who seems quite agitated-he's now gone deathly pale and is staring at the folder in front of him, scratching at his head and neck.

Hotch glares at JJ and Garcia, giving them his best death glower. Garcia types something on her keyboard and nudges JJ to look at the laptop's screen.

JJ reads it and her hand flies up to her mouth, to cover the sudden laugh which tries to escape. On the screen, it says "Hard to take him seriously after seeing him do that nude." Garcia is chuckling as she erases her message.

Hotch, still frowning, turns his attention to the others sitting around the table. "Okay, let's get started." He launches into a recap of the case they'd dealt with the week before.

After a few minutes, Gideon says, "It's just a thought but it seems like he was trying to recreate Bundy's kills-he chose women with a similar look and the list he had in his room had a total of 38 names on it. Reid, what was the final tally on Bundy?"

Spencer raises his eyes, looking rather panicked. "I don't know."

"Are you okay?"

"I, um, er, I don't know," Spencer replies, seeming slightly dazed, before jumping up and running out of the room.

Hotch glares at JJ and Garcia before standing up. "I'll go check on Reid, let's continue this meeting after lunch," he says, already out the door. "Reid, come into my office, please," he calls out to him.

Gideon shrugs and sighs, leaving his papers on the table and follows Prentiss out of the room. "Do you know what's going on?" he asks.

Prentiss shakes her head. "No idea, sir. JJ and Garcia just seem to be in an...odd mood."

------------------------------------

Morgan waits until Gideon and Prentiss have left the room. He's watching the other two women who are now laughing so hard, they're almost breathless.

He walks over behind them, one hand going on each of the backs of their chairs as he leans down between them. "Spill it, Garcia," he says a bemused smile on his face.

"Spill what?" she asks, feigning innocence, while JJ is trying not to laugh.

"How did you know?" His voice is silky and low.

JJ blinks at Morgan. "How did we know what?"

"What are we supposed to know about, sugar?" she asks.

Morgan is grinning now; he slides a hand down to each woman's shoulder and pulls them in close to him. "I don't know how you did it, but I am fairly sure you have video of it, Penelope, my dear. Give me a copy and I'll stop asking questions."

Garcia and JJ look at one another and JJ nods. Garcia reaches into her folder and hands a DVD to Morgan with a sigh.

"Thank you, my goddess," he says, giving her a kiss on the cheek and squeezing JJ's shoulder before he stands up.

------------------------------------

Hotch's office

"It's okay, Spencer, breathe, just take deep breaths," Hotch says, rubbing Spencer's back. The other man is bent over in the chair next to Hotch, head between his knees and he's almost hyperventilating.

"Oh god...oh god," Spencer gasps.

Hotch makes soothing noises as he runs his fingers through Spencer's hair, caressing his scalp. "It's okay, it'll be fine." He's torn between wanting to kill Garcia and wanting to get a copy of whatever it is she has; Hotch knows she's got something, he just isn't sure what.

"But they KNOW! They know we...how did they..." Spencer trails off.

"So they know we had sex; we're all consenting adults. Besides, they'll forget about it soon enough," Hotch tries to reassure Spencer.

Before Hotch can say anything more, there is a knock on his door. "What?" he asks sharply.

"Just me," Morgan replies.

"Oh, come on in," Hotch says, his voice softer.

Morgan walks into Hotch's office and he's holding up a DVD.

Spencer stares at it, eyes huge. "Oh my god! They made a video?" he squeaks, sitting back in the chair and closing his eyes. "Oh, god, no."

"What's his problem? I think it's kinda hot that they wanted to watch us," Morgan says, shrugging.

Hotch sighs. "I don't think Spencer sees it quite like that. Threesomes are one thing, public sex is another," he says, reaching out to stroke the side of Spencer's face. "You going to be okay?"

Spencer sighs and nods. Then he looks up at Morgan shyly. "Did they think I was hot?"

Morgan raises an eyebrow and exchanges an amused glance with Hotch before looking at Spencer. "Yeah, they did."

Grinning widely, Spencer knows he's blushing but he can't help it.

"You feeling better now, baby?" Hotch asks him, hand on Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer pauses for a moment before nodding. He looks at Hotch and whispers, "Would we be able to watch it tonight?"

Hotch chuckles. "Yes, of course we can," he leans in and kisses Spencer on the cheek. "Are you definitely okay?"

"Yes."

"Good, then I suggest we all get back to work-we've got the wrap up meeting after lunch," Hotch says, all business.


An hour later, Hotch walks into Garcia's office. He knows he should probably be angrier about what happened, but he just can't bring himself to be. "Garcia."

She turns around on her chair and smiles at him. "Yes, my liege? What can your humble servant do for you today?"

"If you ever freak Reid out like that again, you'll be in Alaska so fast, your head will spin!"

"Well, really, it was you guys' fault, not ours."

Hotch blinks at her in disbelief. "Our fault?"

"Yep. If you guys hadn't had hot monkey sex in the room next to JJ's she never would have heard you, she wouldn't have told me, and I wouldn't have filmed you guys, so, yeah, your fault" Garcia smiles sweetly at Hotch and shrugs. Turning back to her computers, she says, "Your copy is on your desk."

Hotch just shakes his head. "Garcia-"

"Did you want anything else, honey?" Garcia asks, glancing over her shoulder at him.

Hotch gives her a wry grin. "Don't call me honey," he says and winks at her before striding out of the room, the sound of her laughter following him down the hall.

~~*the end*~~

***