Title: Shopping Nightmares and Candy Candy Dreams
Author: Sam
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Gideon/Reid
Rating: FRAO - slash, mention of toys
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.

***

If there was anyplace in the US that demonstrated the art of bloodless warfare on a mass scale, it would certainly be the mall - any mall - on Christmas Eve.  And, as in any war, there were always in evidence, extreme cases of mono-focused passion and fervor that hovered somewhere between fanatic and religious zealot.  And, in such cases as these, there cannot help but be civilian casualties...

Sidestepping the triumphant mother fervorantly clutching her prize to her chest as she briskly made her way to the cash register on the other side of the store, Gideon glared without effect at the neon red fur of the Tickle Me Elmo that dangled below the very elbow that had managed to catch him in the back of the head.

*Probably worried the other woman might attack her to get it back.*  he thought dryly.  One look at the petite blond in question with her clothing disheveled and once elegant chignon undone, the pale hanks of hair hanging free much like the dangling legs of the greatly contested Elmo, her breath heaving in leftover adrenaline and frustration from the brief, heated battle, and Jason had to agree she might be right.

He might as well make his escape before that happened.  He wasn't going to find anything for Spencer in KayBee Toys anyway.  He had thought perhaps a more sophisticated Rubix, but nothing had presented itself; he would probably have to go to an actual hobby shop for something that presented above junior high level. 

Adjusting his scarf around his neck, Jason forged ahead, wiggling his way into the holiday crowd like a salmon swimming upstream, and tried to think of something his lover might like that wouldn't end up being a filler gift.  He wanted to give Spencer something special, something he could open at the office; he just didn't know what that might be, or where he could find it on such short notice.  Case after case had kept even the very idea of Christmas shopping a luxury for all of them, and now that the team finally had a breather in between cases, every store he had visited was sold out of pretty much everything, with only the dregs of their inventory left to be sent to the frozen north and the Island of Misfit Toys.

Gideon had tried the bookstore first, of course, but he hadn't realized that much of Spencer's reading materials were hard to find tomes and often special order, needing to be placed sometimes weeks in advance.  Still, knowing the bookstore was his best bet, barring a miracle, and not wanting to walk out of there without something, he had asked the young woman behind the counter for some advice, only to find out Spencer was a regular - and had been eyeing the latest Harry Potter novel.  So, with a Merry Christmas to Susie and his hardback copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in hand, Gideon had once more taken his life in his hands and braved the masses, surging along with the wave that had been migrating steadily towards the mainstay of Christmas retail everywhere - the toy store and his date with a stray elbow.

After the utter madness that was the toy store, there was a store specializing in odds and ends, knick knacks and other things and the very scary eclectic store next door that sold more than just adult cards and key rings.  After that one, Jason admitted he was just about ready to give up and head back to the GAP and the scarf he had considered when he first arrived.  Though not quite Gryffindor colors, the soft wool/silk cashmere in forest green would look amazing against Spencer's pale skin and, if the mall had any paper left at the gift wrap station, he could even have it ready for the BAU’s annual Christmas party in an hour.

Smiling somewhat in satisfaction, Gideon managed to maneuver himself around without elbowing anyone or getting elbowed himself, and set off in the other direction.  The image of Spencer wearing that scarf and nothing else hit him and, in a moment of either foolish bravery or mid-life induced insanity, he honestly couldn't say which, Gideon decided to give the eclectic store another try.

He thought he had seen a red and white striped candy cane vibrator, on special for the holidays, among the ‘massagers’ in the back of the store.  The book, he would have wrapped for the office, he decided, while the scarf and the toy he would set aside for when they got home.

 

After all, Spencer had been teasing him all week, sucking and nibbling on candy canes at the office – it would only be poetic justice for Jason to return the favor.

end