Title: Still the One
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Spencer Reid/Ethan Delacroix
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Spencer Reid or Ethan Delacroix, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ethan awakened slowly, blinking at the bright sunlight streaming into the window. How late was it? He squinted at the clock on the bedside table, trying to focus. It wasn't really all that late; it was only a little after nine, and anyway, it was the weekend.

Of course, Spencer had told him that he had to work on weekends quite a bit if the BAU was called out of town on a case. Ethan was just glad that wasn't the case on this particular weekend; he didn't want to be away from Spencer any longer than he had to be.

The past two days had been the culmination of a dream come true for him, Ethan thought, his lips curving into a soft smile. He'd been so afraid that Spencer wouldn't share his feelings -- yet here he was, in Spencer's bed, in his arms, feel safe and secure.

It still felt as though he'd been living in a dream world ever since he and Spencer had found each other again. This was what he had wanted for so long, what he'd planned for during the long trip all the way from New Orleans here to DC. This was his happy ever after.

What would their life together be like? He hoped that it would be a long and happy life, but he wasn't naive enough to think that their partnership would be easy. He and Spencer were two very different people, and they would be bound to clash sooner or later.

But despite their differences, Spencer had been the one person who had ever captured his heart. The young man sleeping next to him had been his heart's desire ever since they'd first met; even after all the years they'd known each other, and the time they'd been apart, Spencer was still the one.

Spencer was still the person he wanted, the person he loved. He'd been the center of Ethan's existence when they were younger, and even though they'd been far apart and hadn't spoken much in the past few years, he had still been in Ethan's heart.

He hadn't made a mistake by coming here and showing up unexpectedly in Spencer's life, Ethan told himself firmly. Spencer hadn't pushed him away, or even suggested that he shouldn't be here. Wasn't that proof that Spencer felt the same way he did, that they belonged together?

He shouldn't be having doubts now, he thought with a soft sight. He should put the past behind him and keep moving forward. But until he told Spencer about everything that had happened back in New Orleans, he knew that he would feel haunted and secretive.

Ethan closed his eyes, trying to push the memories out of his mind. He didn't want to think about what part of his life in New Orleans had been like, not now when he was lying in Spencer's arms and they'd just made love for the first time the night before. He wanted to let the happiness last.

His eyes opened wide when he felt Spencer's arms tighten around him, the younger man snuggling closer to him from behind. "Good morning," Spencer murmured into his ear, his breath warm against Ethan's skin. "Did you sleep okay? I know it's kind of hard to sleep in a strange bed."

"Having you here made it pretty easy to sleep," Ethan answered, his voice husky. "And yeah, I slept great. A hell of a lot better than I'd been sleeping when I was alone in bed." His laugh was rueful, his tone dry when he spoke again. "And that's been the case more often than not."

"It's hard to believe that you spent a lot of nights alone," Spencer murmured, bowing his head to trail his lips along Ethan's bare shoulder. Ethan closed his eyes, inhaling sharply; Spencer's lips were leaving a trail of fire along his skin, shooting sparks up his spine.

He could imagine those lips elsewhere; he wanted Spencer to roll him over onto his back and move that soft, warm mouth down his body, those soft lips teasing his nipples, then moving lower to wrap around his cock, sucking gently at first, then harder ....

Ethan blinked, forcing his thoughts to return from his fantasy and focus on what Spencer was saying. "You'd be wrong about that," he said, trying to control the direction his mind was moving in. "I spent a lot of nights alone. Well, when I wasn't dating anyone, that is."

He didn't want to admit that even when he'd had a boyfriend, he'd still spent a lot of nights alone. He'd never lived with anyone before; he had wanted to keep a part of himself closed off from the men he'd been involved with. He had never completely given his heart to any of them.

Why? Because they weren't Spencer, he told himself, closing his eyes as those soft lips moved back up his throat, Spencer's teeth nibbling gently at his earlobe. He hadn't given more than his body to any of the men he'd been with; he had never wanted to surrender himself fully.

Despite the people he'd been with during the time that he and Spencer had been apart, this man was still the one. Spencer would always be the man who owned his heart, the man he trusted more than anyone else, the man he loved with all of his heart and soul.

"I've spent a lot of nights alone myself," Spencer told him, raising his head and regarding Ethan with a serious expression on his face. "Most of them, in fact. I've only been involved with two people in my whole life. I hope that doesn't make you feel like I'm not experienced enough."

Ethan frowned slightly, shaking his head quickly in negation. "I don't care if you've slept with two people, or two hundred," he said softly, raising a hand to stroke his fingers through Spencer's disordered hair. "What matters to me is that you're with me now."

"Even if I'd slept with a million people, you'd still be the one I loved," Spencer whispered, his gaze not faltering from Ethan's. "You're still the one, Ethan. Even after all the time we've been apart, I love you just as much as I ever did. And I want you even more."

Spencer's words made Ethan's heart race; his mouth went dry, and he couldn't repress the shiver that raced through his body. That had been exactly what he was thinking. He and Spencer had always seemed to be on the same wavelength, and it looked as though they still were.

Despite all the time they'd been apart, the years that they had rarely spoken to each other, their hearts were still connected. What would their lives have been like if they'd given in to these feelings years ago, and had never been parted? Would things be very different for them?

Ethan was sure that they would be. They probably wouldn't have stayed together if they had become a couple in their younger years, he told himself. They had been two very different people then, and neither one of them had really known themselves -- or each other.

If they'd tried to make a go of a relationship before this, they would probably have failed miserably -- and they might have spent the rest of their lives sighing regretfully over all of the "if only" questions in their minds. It was for the best that they'd spent time apart.

Now, they knew what they wanted, and they knew themselves better than they had when they had both first started that fateful day at Quantico. He hadn't known what he truly wanted then -- though he had known that he wanted Spencer. He'd always known that.

He'd run away from Quantico because he had known that he wouldn't be able to cut it in the FBI. He'd thought that he could, but he'd always had his doubts about whether it was what he truly wanted. In the end, it hadn't been. But it had been the right thing for Spencer.

Now, they were together again, after having gone their separate ways for so long. And in spite of all the time they had lost, all that had happened to each of them, and their many differences, Spencer was still the one. The one he would always hold close to his heart. The one he would always love.

"You've been the only person I really wanted to be with all these years," Spencer said softly, his gaze never wavering from Ethan's. "Even when I was with other people, I was thinking about you and wondering what it would be like if I was with you. I never loved them, Ethan."

"I never loved anybody I was with, either," Ethan told him, his voice faltering slightly. He had to clear his throat before he could speak again -- though when he did, his voice was still choked, the words spoken very softly. "I tried to make myself believe that I did, but I still knew the truth."

"After all this time, you're still the one," Spencer said, his lips curving into a smile. "I knew that from the second I looked up and you were sitting next to me in that restaurant booth. I knew by the way my heart felt like it was turning over. I knew then that I loved you."

"It took you that long?" Ethan asked, raising an eyebrow in question. "I knew that I loved you years ago. I just didn't want to admit it because I was so terrified that you'd never feel the same. I'm just glad we can say those words now and mean them even more than we would have back then."

"I love you," Spencer said softly, placing his hands on either side of Ethan's face and gazing into his eyes. 'I've always loved you. We could have been apart for twice this long, Ethan, and you'd still be the one. Nothing's ever changed the way I feel about you, and nothing ever will."

Ethan swallowed hard, blinking back the tears that Spencer's words brought to the surface. "You've always been the only person I've ever really loved," he managed to whisper, his voice thick with emotion. "And you always will be. You're still the one, Spencer. You always have been."

Then Spencer was kissing him, and neither of them needed any more words. As Ethan wrapped his arms around Spencer's neck to pull his young lover down to deepen the kiss, he knew that Spencer would always be the only one for him -- the only man he would ever love.

Even after all these years, Spencer was still the one. He loved this man more than he ever had, and he was sure that love would only grow stronger with time. They had the rest of their lives to be together and love each other -- and he intended to make the most of all the time they had...

***