Title: Is Your Love Strong Enough
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 20_est_relships
Prompt: 14, Answers
Author's Note: Set after the events of 100.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Spencer put the last dish into the dishwasher, closing the door and starting the machine. He rested both hands on the kitchen counter, sighing softly, wondering where his boyfriend was. It always made him nervous when Hotch did one of his disappearing acts.

Behind him, the living room door opened, and he let out a sigh of relief. Hotch had apparently been out to get his mail; the door closed softly, and he could almost hear the other man padding across the floor in the quiet of the house.

He hesitated before leaving the kitchen to walk into the living room; if Hotch was reading his mail, he didn't want to bother the other man. But he couldn't stand in the kitchen all night, either, especially since it was obvious that he'd already taken care of the dishes.

Hotch was sitting on the couch, the mail neatly stacked on the coffee table. But he wasn't looking at it; he was staring off into space, as though he was lost in some daydream that he couldn't pull himself out of . He looked up as Spencer moved to the couch, holding out a hand and smiling.

"Sorry," he said softly, looking apologetic. "I was just thinking about .... some moments from the past." He hesitated, then shook his head. "I was thinking how different it feels to come back to this house every night, instead of going to that apartment to sleep."

Spencer nodded thoughtfully; he knew how much Aaron had hated to go back to that place every night. He couldn't be blamed for that, not after what had happened there. And at least now he didn't ever have to see the place again, which was a good thing.

"You could always have come to my place, you know," he said softly, the words slipping out before he could stop them. He knew why Aaron hadn't wanted to do that, but he'd always felt a bit hurt that his offers of letting his boyfriend stay there had always been firmly turned down.

"You know why I couldn't, Spencer," Aaron said softly, his gaze meeting Spencer's. "It's not that I didn't want to. Maybe I never really made that clear. I wanted to, I really did. I was just .... afraid that someone would see us and put two and two together."

"How much longer are we going to have to hide?" Spencer asked, knowing that the question was blunt, but unable to hold it back any longer. He needed an answer, a definitive one, even if a part of him knew that it was too soon to ask for one.

Hotch sighed, looking down at his hands clasped in his lap. "I don't know, Spencer," he said, his voice very low and tired. "I can't give you an answer to that. I want to, but .... there's no way to tell. And you know we'd never be able to be completely open about our relationship at work."

"We can be open with the team," Spencer argued, "just not around Strauss or anybody else. But when we're just around the team, I don't see why they can't know. They pretty much already do anyway. We haven't been all that good at hiding our feelings."

"I suppse you and I are an open secret, at least to the team," Hotch conceded with another sigh. "It's not something I wanted to get out yet, but I know they'll be discreet. They know what could happen if Strauss should happen to find out."

"If she does -- then I'll leave the BAU," Spencer told him, reaching for his lover's hand and twining their fingers together. "You shouldn't have to lose your job because you fell in love with me, and you shouldn't be the one who's forced to leave."

"I wouldn't let you do that, Spencer," Aaron murmured, shaking his head. "The BAU needs you. And this is where you fit in best. I wouldn't want to make you give up that security. I could get a job somewhere else. But this is what you love doing. I won't make you give it up."

"I'd give it up for you, if I had to," Spencer said softly, his gaze not leaving Aaron's face. "You mean a hell of a lot more to me than any job ever could. Yeah, I love working with the BAU, but it's not the most important thing in my life. You are."

Hotch swallowed hard, his gaze locking with Spencer's. "Do you mean that, Spencer? Is your love strong enough to deal with having everyone know that you're with someone who's been kicked out of the FBI, someone who's been disgraced? Can you live with that?"

Spencer's voice was firm and decisive when he answered. "I wouldn't even have to think about it. You'll always come first, Hotch. The BAU is never going to mean as much to me as you do. My feelings for you are strong enough to withstand anything. Anything."

The last word was spoken with such strength that Aaron was disconcerted. He knew that Spencer loved him, of course; it had amazed him that his young lover was still by his side, even after all that had happened, after the revelation of what Foyet had done to him.

He'd fully expected Spencer to pull away from him at that point, but the confession of what he'd been through had only brought them closer, emotionally as well as physically. He didn't doubt that Spencer would stay by his side, no matter what happened.

He didn't deserve that kind of devotion. He hadn't gotten it from Haley; she wanted everything her way or the highway, pretending that it was for Jack, when it was really to satisfy her ego. At least he had realized that in time, and acted accordingly.

After their marriage had gone down in flames, he hadn't thought that anyone would ever accept what he did for a living -- and understand why he did it. He hadn't expected anyone to give him the kind of devotion that Spencer did. He'd thought that was only a pipe dream, something he'd never attain.

Yet here he was, sitting on his couch with a young man who was everything he'd ever wanted. It still felt strange to be involved with another man, to feel this strongly about someone of the same sex. But he couldn't deny his feelings -- and he didn't want to.

He'd needed an answer to that question for a while now -- it had been in the back of his mind ever since he and Spencer had first begun seeing each other. And now that he had it, he could still hardly believe that he meant that much to this young man.

He was even more surprised when Spencer leaned forward and brushed a kiss across his mouth, a kiss that was as soft and gentle as a summer breeze. That kiss was full of a promise for tomorrow, for their future together -- a kiss to build their lives on.

When he drew away from Hotch, Spencer's lips were parted, his breath coming quickly. That kiss hadn't been too much, had it? He'd felt the need to show Aaron just how much he was loved and wanted -- but he couldn't help feeling that he should have held back.

Aaron had wanted to know if his love was strong enough to withstand what they might have to deal with in the future -- and he hoped that the kiss, along with his words, had been the only answer the other man would need. There was nothing else he could say.

They didn't have all the answers to their questions yet, and Spencer realized that it might be a long time before they did. But he was willing to take his time and wait for those answers to materialize; they would come eventually.

"There are still so many question marks in our future, Spencer," Aaron whispered, as if his thoughts were moving along the same lines as the younger man's were. "I hope we'll be able to find the answers to them, even if some of them might not always be what we want to hear."

"If they're not, then we can make the best of them and turn lemons into lemonade," Spencer told him, making a deliberate attempt to lighten his lover's mood. "Sometimes, you've got to take the bad with the good. And as long as we've got each other, we can make things good."

"I thought after Haley left me that I wasn't worthy of having anyone to stand by me because of how wrapped up I am in my work," Aaron murmured, his voice catching in his throat. "I don't deserve you, Spencer. But I'm grateful to you for being with me."

"You don't have to be grateful. Just love me," Spencer managed to say before his throat constricted too much for him to speak. His love for this man wasn't only strong enough to withstand all of the pitfalls they might come across in the future, at the moment, it was overflowing.

He wrapped his arms around the other man, letting Aaron lean into his embrace. The two of them sat there on the couch for what seemed like a very long time, each of them lost in their own thoughts even as they basked in the comfort that being together could bring.

***