Title: Sweet Memories
Author: Paragrad
Fandom/Pairing: Criminal Minds - Morgan/Garcia
Summary: Morgan contemplates why he wasn't with Gideon in Boston.
Spoilers: for Extreme Aggressor
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All recognizable characters are the property of CBS and its affiliates.
Beta: Ann (Thanks!)
Author's Note: This story is mostly told from Derek's POV, actually it's almost a narrative, told by Derek, as it he was speaking to some third party, recalling these events, but there are flashbacks included which are clearly marked.
***
As I sit here on the plane, heading for Seattle and yet another psycho, I can't help but remember why I wasn't with Gideon on the Adrian Bale case in Boston. You see, there's something that no one else knows about me. Everyone thinks that I'm a player with a different girl on my arm each week, but that's far from the truth. I have one special girl; my sweetness. We've been together for over two years now. My girl is agent with the Bureau as well; she's Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst.
After taking those trainees out for a few drinks and hearing them ask if I was with Gideon in Boston, it got me thinking about the real reason why I didn't get on that plane. I was supposed to be on that plane, but I had to stay home with my girl instead.
Penelope, though beautiful and intelligent, can sometimes be very uncoordinated. Two days before we got the call for the Boston case, Penelope tripped on one of the stairs leading out of her apartment and landed herself in the hospital with a broken ankle. Not only did she have a broken ankle, but they had to put pins in her ankle to set the bones again. She lives in a third floor apartment so there was no way that she could stay by herself. As they were taking her to surgery, I called Hotch and asked him for two weeks personal leave so I could help her until she began to heal. I can still remember that conversation with Hotch. It was definitely unusual because I never take personal time, except for my annual trip to Chicago for mom's birthday and my vacation.
****FLASHBACK*****
"Hotchner"
"Hey Hotch, it's Morgan."
"What's up, Derek?" His voice sounds tired and a little off.
"Hotch I need to take two weeks personal time."
"Am I allowed to ask why?" Now he really sounds interested.
"A good friend of mine just had surgery and there's no one else to stay with her and she can't be by herself for a while." It wasn't exactly a lie. She is a very good friend, if you want to get particular.
"Alright Derek, I'll make you a deal. I'll give you seven days personal leave and eight days on call, so you only have to come in if we really need you. Will that work?"
Is he kidding? I asked for ten days and he's giving me fifteen, who am I to argue. "Hotch, you are a life saver. Thanks man. I'll talk to you later."
"And Derek, one more thing."
"What's that?
"Take good care of your friend."
Okay, that was weird, "Sure Hotch. Thanks again."
"No problem." It almost sounded as if he was smiling.
****END FLASHBACK****
Hotch telling me to take good care of my friend has stayed with me. It's like he knew who I was talking about. But he's never said anything, so I've let that comment slip. It was really nice to have three whole uninterrupted weeks with my baby girl. We'd been together for just over 2 years at that point but that first week was really the turning point of our relationship.
She came through surgery fine and they let her go the following afternoon on the condition that someone stays with her for a while. That was already taken care of, although Pen pretended to be angry at me. After I had called Hotch I had decided that there was no way that she was going to stay in her apartment and have to navigate all those stairs every day, so I made arrangements to have her stay with me while I was off. We'd been talking about moving in together for a while, but we didn't want to do that until we told the team about us. Unfortunately, the time has never seemed right to spring that on everyone. Hopefully soon; I love my girl and want to spend my free time with her, not bouncing between apartments.
Anyway, as I was saying. Once she came home, that next week was a real turning point for us. I think it was because we had uninterrupted time together. Time we could use to really focus on us which was something we really hadn't had before.
****FLASHBACK****
We pull up to my front curb and she gave me this look of surprise.
"Come on baby girl, let's get you settled inside." As I move to her door, she just stares at me with a look of total confusion. I think it's cute.
"Derek, what are we doing here? I thought you were taking me home?" She is so cute when she is confused.
"Baby girl, consider this home for the next few weeks." I lean in and kiss her. "This will be easier for you to manage, rather than all those steps. Please baby."
She smiles up at me and holds her hands out for the crutches that I'm holding. "Let's go, hot stuff."
I just laugh; I love her nicknames for me. It's the only way we can express our love while we are at work, so each one is special to me.
I get her inside and settled on my leather couch with her ankle propped up on several pillows. As I head back outside, Pen grabs my arm and stops me.
"Derek, you didn't have to take the time off to stay with me. I would have been fine by myself"
"Pen, baby girl, I want to stay with you." I kneel next to the couch and cup her beautiful face between my hands, so that I have her full attention, "It's called being in love, sweet girl. I love you and because I love you, I want to take care of you. Now no arguing; you are staying here until you get your walking cast." I give her a soft kiss and she just gives me a sweet angelic smile and simply nods. My Penelope, even after two years, can't believe that I love her and want to be with her. She is so insecure but we are slowly beating away all of those fears. "Alright, now you relax here and I'll go get the rest of your stuff out of the car and get it all put away. Now, do you need anything?"
She relaxes back into the couch and quietly asks, "Could you let Clooney in. I've missed him." She smiles impishly. My girl and my dog are really attached to each other.
"Sure thing; need anything else, my goddess?" She shifts on the couch and lowers her eyes from my face, a sure sign that there's something she wants but is afraid to ask for it. "Goddess, what is it?" I lift her chin so I can see her eyes. "Please, talk to me."
In a quiet, almost child like voice, she asks, "Could you get the flannel blanket for me. I'm a little tired and I'd like to take a nap."
This is one of those insecurities that we still haven't completely removed, she's afraid to ask for personal things. She thinks she has to be so strong and independent and doesn't quite get that I love to take care of her, in any way that I can. "Definitely." I pull the flannel blanket that she loves off the back of the couch and tuck her in for her afternoon nap. "There, that better?"
She slips off her glasses, smiles at me and nods, "It's perfect; thank you sugar."
"You're welcome baby girl. Sleep tight." I put her glasses on the coffee table and kiss her forehead as she closes her eyes.
I sit there for a while and just watch her fall asleep. This is one of my favorite hobbies, just sitting watching my girl as she sleeps. She is so peaceful when she finds rest. With the work we do and the things she has to see on a daily basis, I'm so thankful that she can find the peace in sleep.
After I'm sure that she's sound asleep, I head out and get her stuff out of my car. As I come in I let Clooney in out of the garage and he makes a bee line for Penelope. He doesn't run to her like he usually does, he just walks over to her, sits on the floor next to the couch, lays his head on her stomach and goes to sleep. She has him wrapped around her little finger, just like she does me.
****END FLASHBACK****
Those first few days were quiet and easy going because Penelope slept quite a bit due to the pain medications that she was taking. We spent a lot of time cuddling on the couch and watching movies, which usually ended with her asleep in my lap because her pain meds had kicked in. To me, those days were perfect. I got the chance to baby my girl and shower her with a lot of affection. That first morning I got to bring her breakfast in bed and pamper by helping her to wash her hair. It felt great to help her do those simple, every day tasks.
I had said earlier that this week was a real turning point for us. The actual turning point happened on the fourth day that she was staying with me.
****FLASHBACK****
Penelope has been here for four days now and it has been wonderful to have this uninterrupted time with her. I could really get used to this. Today is really the first day that she has been really awake and not groggy because of her pain meds. She didn't take her noon meds; instead she decided to try some over the counter pain relievers and they seem to be working. She's laying on the couch petting Clooney and getting lost in one of her romance novels. That is one of my girl's vices, romance novels. She buys them every month like clockwork. It's just another part of her personality that I love about her.
"Hey baby girl, enjoying your book?"
She looks up at me, smiles and reaches for my hand, which I gladly give to her. "Definitely. Come here handsome. I'm in need of some cuddling." She scoots away from the arm rest, a blatant clue as to where she wants me. These last few days have really let her start asking for what she needs.
"Now how can I turn down the offer to cuddle with my best girl?" I scoot in behind her and wrap my arms around her middle as she leans against me and continues to read. Sitting with her this way gives me the chance to really enjoy just holding her. Most people wouldn't believe that I love to cuddle. There is nowhere else that I would rather be than holding my girl.
She lays her book on her lap and turns to rest her head against my chest. "Derek, can I ask you something?"
"Anything baby girl, you know that." I have this sense that this could be an important conversation. When Pen wants to discuss something serious she always cuddles into my chest, for some reason, she doesn't look me in the eye.
She takes a big breath, lets it out and raises her head to look me in the eye, "Can we go lay down in the bedroom, I want to be able to see you while we talk. Please?"
Okay, this is definitely something important. Just go with the flow Derek. "Not a problem."
I help her off the couch and into the bedroom. She settles on her right side, I settle on my left and Clooney, her shadow, lies between us so she can pet him. "Okay gorgeous, what's on your mind?"
She takes my free hand in hers and just traces my fingers and the veins on the back of my hand. She seems to be focusing on my ring finger especially. "Derek, something has been on my mind lately and I wanted to talk to you about it."
"Penelope, you know that you can talk to me about anything. I love you and I'll always be here for you."
She smiles at me, nods and continues, "I know that. Just give me a chance to get this out. It may be a little garbled, so bear with me. The last two years have been the best years of my life. Being with you is more than I could ever have dreamed of. Over the last couple of days I've seen a whole new side of you. Being around you all day and being able to fall asleep beside you every night has been an absolute dream come true for me. I never dreamed that I could find someone like you, someone so caring and compassionate. You don't demand anything from me but accept me for who and what I am. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I am completely and totally in love with you and I have been since the day I met you." She takes a deep breath and just leans her head against my chest.
"Baby girl, I love you too. I know it's hard for you to believe that I can love you, but I do. I love you more than anything in this life. You are my life. The past several days have been amazing for me too. I've loved having you here and being able to take care of you the way I've dreamed of. But I know this isn't what you wanted to tell me. Now come on baby girl. Please. Talk to me?" All I can do is wait for her. I have to let her do this in her own time and at her own pace. I can tell how important this is for her and I won't make it any more difficult by pressuring her.
"Thank you for all of that. You have no idea how much I needed to hear all of that. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've been so happy and I guess I'm wondering what you want out of this relationship. I mean, I understand not telling the entire team until the new policy about relationships between team members have been in effect for a while, but I guess I'm questioning whether we will ever tell the team. Maybe this all sounds crazy and stupid..." I lay my fingers over her lips to stop her, I won't let her belittle herself in front of me and she darn well knows it.
"Stop right there. What you said wasn't crazy or stupid and neither are you. Let me address your concerns in order. Number one, what I want out of this relationship is for us to be together for a good long time. Sweetness, I love you to the ends of the earth. Number two, you are right about not telling the team until the new policies have been in place for a while, but they've been in place for over a year now, so I think it's safe to start telling the team. Maybe not all at once, but maybe being more open about us, like having lunch together or being more flirtatious on the phone, little things that people will pick up on. I guess I haven't been real clear about my intentions and I guess it's time to clear that up, right here and now." I gently climb off the bed so as not to jostle her leg any more than necessary. I walk over to my dresser and reach into the back of the top drawer where a little black box has been sitting for the last several weeks. It's something I bought on our last case in New York and I've been waiting for the right time to give it to her and that time is now. I don't want her questioning my intentions ever again.
I walk over to the bed as she rolls onto her back and looks up at me with a curious expression. She doesn't see the box because I've hidden it in my pants pocket where she can't see it. "Pen, sit up here for me please." I help her sit up on the side of the bed. She looks so confused sitting there that I can't help but chuckle as I kneel down on my knees in front of her.
"Baby, these last two years have been absolutely amazing and I fall more in love with you every day. I can't imagine anything better than loving you. You complete me and you make me a better person." She is simply staring at me, as if she is aware of what I'm going to do. I pull myself up to one knee and reach into my jeans pocket and I watch her eyes widen as she begins to realize what's happening.
"Penelope Christine Garcia, would you do me the ultimate honor and make me the world's happiest man by agreeing to become my beautiful bride?" Her eyes are as wide as saucers as she looks between my face and the ring that is resting on my knee. She's searching my eyes as if she's looking for confirmation that this is real. I simply smile at her and wait patiently for her answer.
"Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh my gosh. Yes, definitely absolutely completely, yes." She has a smile a mile wide and I can't help but return her smile. I slip the ring on her finger, place a kiss on her hand and then reach up to kiss her. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds me tight while returning my kiss. After a few amazing minutes I pull back from her and watch her open her eyes and I can't believe the love that is shining from those amazing brown eyes. She stares at me for a few seconds and then wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into a beautiful hug. She holds me so tight, but it's perfect. "I love you Pen, I'll love you forever."
"I love you too gorgeous. You have made every one of my dreams come true. Well, almost all of them."
"And what dream is left. Huh, baby girl, what dream haven't I made come true yet?" I can almost bet what her answer is going to be, but I want her to say it. I want to hear it come from her lips.
"A baby. My last dream that you can make come true is to give me a baby." She looks up at me with an almost shy smile.
"All in due time baby girl, all in due time." Little does she know that I share that last dream with her. I can't wait to hear her tell me that she is pregnant with my child.
****END FLASHBACK****
The last several months have been amazing. We've still not come out and told everyone on the team but we think that several of them suspect; after all, they are all profilers, they study human behavior. We've been enjoying the fact that we're engaged and the freedom that comes with that relationship. Penelope won't wear her ring on her finger at work; she keeps it on a chain but doesn't wear it all the time, except when we are at home. It's the first thing she does when we get home and I love coming home and knowing that she is wearing my ring and she is mine.
All things considered, I'm glad Penelope can be clumsy because it earned me the greatest gift in the world: Penelope Garcia.