Title: Take Me Everywhere
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Doctor Who/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: Buffet 1, fc_smorgasbord
Prompt: 83, Prison
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Spencer Reid, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Spencer sat in the Tardis' library, staring down at the printed page of a book that he wasn't reading. He had been there for what felt like hours, but had, in reality, been only a few minutes. His restlessness had led him here, to a place where he usually felt safe and relaxed.

Why was he so nervous and restless all of a sudden? Spencer wondered with a sigh, finally giving up on trying to read the book and closing it. He'd been sitting here trying to make sense of the black writing that danced on the page, without really seeing it.

It was probably because he felt that he was drifting, with no particular goal in mind, he told himself, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the soft cushions of the couch. He felt as though he didn't really have any use in the world, that he was accomplishing nothing.

And what did that mean? Was it time for him to go back to Earth, to leave the Doctor behind and take up his work with the BAU again? He could get back into the unit easily; he was sure of that. They'd welcome him back with open arms.

But was that what he really wanted? Could he bring himself to leave the man he loved, to look up into the night sky filled with stars and wonder where the Doctor was, wonder if he'd found anyone else to be his companion -- or his lover? Could he live like that?

No, he couldn't, he told himself firmly. He wanted to be here with the Time Lord, wanted to be a part of the Doctor's life. He was where he belonged -- even if there were times when he felt as though his intelligence and need to constantly set goals was a kind of prison.

He'd felt like that more than once on Earth; in fact, he couldn't count the number of times when he'd felt that his intelligence was a drawback, rather than a gift. There had been times when he had wished that he was like everyone else, that he wasn't so .... different.

Of course, he'd outgrown that feeling as he'd gotten older. Yes, there had been times when he had wanted to be able to fade more into the background, but he'd learned that as long as he kept his mouth shut and tried to be unobtrusive, he could do that.

This was one place where he never had to feel as though his intelligence was something that marked him as being different. For once in his life, he'd met someone who was on his level, someone who he could see as an equal in every way.

And in some ways, that someone even surpassed him. Maybe that was the problem, Spencer reflected, sighing again. Maybe he just wasn't used to being around someone who was smarter than he was, and that knowledge made him feel as though he was somehow caged.

Why should he feel that way? he asked himself, his frown deepening. There was no sense in it. Being with someone like the Doctor should make him feel much more free and independent; he should have felt like he was imprisoned when he was around people who didn't understand him.

Maybe he simply felt like this because the Doctor did understand him so well. Maybe the problem was that he had never gotten used to feeling as though he fit in anywhere -- and now that he did, fitting in felt more like a prison than a release.

The Doctor didn't think of his own intelligence as a prison, so why should he? Spencer stared up at the ceiling, wishing that he could analyze his emotions dispassionately and figure out what he should do. But his feelings were too complicated, too tangled, too fleeting.

He didn't really know what he felt. One thing that he did know, though -- he wasn't going to leave the Doctor. He couldn't. He would always have a hole in his heart if he did, an ache that could never be assuaged, no matter what he might do.

Not being here was out of the question. This was the one place where he'd ever felt as though he could be completely comfortable in his own skin; he couldn't give that up and go back to living in a world where he would always be an oddity.

And he couldn't leave his lover. The thought of not having the Doctor in his life made him feel hollow; just the idea that they could be separated, that he might not be able to see the man he loved every day, to be with him, hold him, kiss him and love him, was horrifying.

The Tardis was a place that he loved -- and he even felt a strange sort of kinship with the ship. He didn't think of her as a ship; to Spencer, she was a living, breathing being. He felt gratitude to her for keeping the Doctor safe -- and for accepting him as she had.

How could he ever leave this place? The Tardis was one of the few places where he'd ever felt completely safe; he hadn't even been able to feel that way in his own apartment. There had always been the feeling that he had to be on his guard.

Spencer's brow creased at the remembrance of how he'd felt at times when he'd walked up the steps to his apartment after a long day at work; there had been times when he'd felt as though he was being watched, but there had never been anyone around that he could see.

If he was really honest with himself, his home on Earth had always felt like more of a prison than a place where he was safe. The few people who had known him well had looked at him as an oddity, even though he knew that they'd been fond of him, in their way.

But that fondness was nothing compared to what he knew that the Doctor felt for him. If he left the Time Lord, then the man he loved would be facing his greatest fear -- loneliness. It might not be the first time that the Doctor had been alone, but it would be one more blow he had to take.

Spencer knew all too well how it felt to feel alone and isolated; he'd felt that way for all of his life. He had never really been comfortable anywhere, not even in the BAU; he had always been the odd man out, left to stand in the shadows and feel like a freak.

He might have seemed freakish and out of place on Earth, but he would never be that here. This was a place where he could always feel at home -- less of a prison than a comfortable retreat, a place where he would be appreciated for who he was.

That was a nice feeling, Spencer reflected, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth. It was good to be someplace where he wouldn't be treated as an oddity, or looked at as being strange and unusual. Here, he fit in -- and his intelligence was needed.

If he felt that he was drifting along with nothing much to do, then that was only because he was letting himself sink into that state. There was plenty to do here, Spencer told himself firmly. There was so much to see, so many places to go -- and he wanted the Doctor to take him everywhere.

How could he feel that he was drifting aimlessly, or that his intelligence somehow closed him in? That had been a ridiculous idea; he wanted to slap himself for ever having let it enter his mind. What had he been thinking? He felt silly for even having entertained such a thought.

The Doctor would take him anywhere that he wanted to go; how could he possibly feel that being here was any sort of a prison? He had the freedom of the galaxy; if he was back on Earth, he would only have the freedom of one single planet.

Here, he could go anywhere he wanted -- even backwards or forwards in time. This wasn't a prison, and neither was the intelligence that the Doctor relied upon from him. His need to set goals wasn't a prison, either. It was just something to drive him ahead.

Nothing was a prison unless he wanted it to be, Spencer told himself, standing up and smoothing his hand through his hair. Especially not the place he was in now. This was a greater opportunity to expand his horizons than any other he'd ever been given.

His step was firm and eager as he left the library and headed down the corridor towards the control room, a smile starting to spread across his face. When he found the Doctor, he knew exactly where he wanted to go -- and he was sure that the Time Lord would be more than ready to take him there.

***