Title: Take You Home
By: carolinecrane
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Reid
Rating: NC17
Summary: Spencer has a little trouble dealing with Derek's hero complex sometimes, but Derek can be patient when it counts.
A/N: I have been struggling with this thing for awhile, not for any particular reason. I'm still not positive it works, but I'm going to go ahead and stop fussing with it. Written for dancinbutterfly, who requested Spencer topping. Not a problem, said I. And that part wasn't the issue, so it was not a lie.

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Spencer doesn't worry about Derek much. He knows the risks of their job, and he knows Derek's abilities, and when he calculates the odds, they always come out in Derek's favor.

So he doesn't worry. He gets annoyed, like that time Elle was being held hostage by that unsub on the train and Derek expected Spencer to teach him slight of hand in fifteen minutes. He always wants to be the one to rush into danger and save the day, but it's not because he wants the glory or anything. There's really no glory in their job, when it comes down to it, so if Derek was looking for recognition he'd be disappointed pretty much every time.

And they're not supposed to profile each other, but it's not like they can just turn it off, so Spencer knows the reason Derek's always taking stupid risks like driving live bombs around New York City. It's because for all his bravado, all the self-confidence that intimidated Spencer so much when they first met, somewhere deep down inside he still thinks of himself as disposable. Somewhere in there he'll always think of himself as less important than everyone else, and that's why he'll keep throwing himself in front of guns and bombs and whatever else happens to come their way.

Still, he's good at his job, so Spencer doesn't lie awake at night imagining all the ways Derek might get himself killed. But every once in awhile, when the case doesn't go quite the way they expect and some variable crops up at the last minute to throw everything off, he gets a little nervous. When someone pulls a gun out of nowhere or the unsub turns out to be the last person they expected, and Derek manages to be right in the thick of the action, and that's when Spencer worries.

This time it was a jealous teenager with a knife and an innocent expression, some kid who was cute and broken enough to pull at all their heartstrings and get Derek to let his defenses down. Not much, because Derek never really lets his defenses down, but he wanted the kid to be okay enough to miss the clues. They all missed the clues, but they all didn't find themselves alone with the kid when he finally realized he was cornered.

Derek was fine, of course, because he's always fine. He always manages to talk or overpower or just luck his way out of these things, and Spencer knows that. But when it's close like this, those are the times he can't calm down until he gets Derek alone. Until he can run his hands over soft skin and hard muscle, inspecting every inch until he can convince himself that Derek's okay.

On nights like this Derek doesn't even ask him if he wants to stop for dinner on the way home, if he wants to go out for drinks and small talk with Garcia and her boyfriend. He doesn't say much of anything, just finishes the paperwork as quickly as possible and clears his desk, then steers Spencer out of the bullpen, out of the building and home.

They don't talk much on the way home, and once Derek's put the dog out and fed him he makes his way to the bedroom to find Spencer waiting. His teeth are brushed, tie rolled and tucked neatly into the top drawer of the dresser. His shirt's in the hamper, and when Derek comes up behind him he slides his arms around Spencer's waist and runs his hands over Spencer's undershirt.

Spencer looks down at those hands, strong and solid and so sure of themselves. Hands that have touched him a million times, before they ever became a ‘them'. Hands that used to ruffle his hair just to get a reaction, that touched his shoulder to calm him or his elbow to guide him in whatever direction Derek was going. Hands he knows almost better than his own, sliding across his stomach and up his chest to rest over his heart.

He turns in Derek's arms, letting those hands slide down his sides to settle on his hips. And he's not mad that Derek almost got himself killed today, because they've all been in the same situation, more or less. But he needs to touch, needs to prove to his eyes that they can trust what they see. He starts at Derek's shoulders, fingers gliding over the worn cotton of his shirt and down his biceps, digging into the muscles there until Derek flexes against him.

Spencer looks up then, tilting his head just so and leaning in to press their lips together. It's tongues and teeth and sharp breaths through his nose, murmuring against Derek's mouth as his hands move down Derek's chest to tug his shirt out of his jeans. He peels Derek's shirt off, tossing it on the floor somewhere behind him before he flattens his hands against Derek's stomach and pushes him toward the bed.

Derek's legs hit the edge of the mattress and he reaches out to steady himself, hands gripping Spencer's forearms to keep himself from falling backwards. It's the one gesture he makes toward taking control of the situation, and as soon as he's steady on his feet he releases his grip and lets Spencer take over again. He's watching as Spencer's fingers work open his jeans, dark eyes focused on Spencer's expression as he slips the button open and then slides Derek's zipper down.

He takes his time undressing Derek, fingers sliding across each patch of newly exposed skin as he pushes Derek's jeans and then his underwear down his solid legs. Derek's half-hard already, and Spencer knows it's at least partly because of the adrenaline rush. But he wants this enough to let Spencer take his time, to let him indulge this need that overcomes him every once in awhile.

Once he gets Derek's clothes off he stands up again, hands on Derek's shoulders to push him down onto the mattress. Most nights Derek would fight him for control, hands tugging impatiently at Spencer's clothes until they're both naked and sweaty and laughing. But he knows what Spencer needs right now, and he leans back on his hands to watch Spencer pull his undershirt off.

His shoes are next, then his pants and the whole time Derek's just watching him, gaze moving up and down Spencer's body as he undresses. He feels the blush creep up his chest and into his neck, but he ignores it and pulls his glasses off to set them on the table. When he leans over a hand lands on his side, tracing the sharp angle of his hipbone as he straightens back up again.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Derek says, and Spencer blushes even harder, but he doesn't answer. He doesn't know how, because he's never thought of himself as beautiful before Derek. His mother always said he was too skinny, and the kids at school always seemed to agree with her. Once he got to the FBI he caught the other agents eyeing him every so often, measuring him up and undoubtedly wondering who he'd bribed to land a spot in the Bureau. But Derek really seems to believe it, and he's said it often enough that Spencer almost believes it sometimes too.

He reaches out to run his fingertips along Derek's collar bone, watching the progress of his hand as it slides up Derek's shoulder. He presses against warm skin until Derek takes the hint and leans back, back hitting the mattress with a little bounce. He reaches up to pull Spencer down with him, hands sliding up Spencer's arms as Spencer climbs onto the mattress to lean over him.

Derek's hands settle on his hips, fingers flexing against Spencer's skin as he traces the patterns of ink etched into Morgan's skin. His fingers have followed those patterns so often he could close his eyes and trace them by heart, but tonight he wants to see everything. He wants to watch Derek watching him while he waits for Spencer to make the next move, wants to see Derek's hand reach up to slide through his hair when Spencer leans down to kiss him. He wants to watch Derek's eyes close when Spencer pushes inside him, and watch them open again when Derek comes.

The thought makes his cock twitch, and he moans against Derek's mouth and rocks his hips, grinding their erections together until they're both breathing fast. It's not enough – not even close – but it feels good all the same, so he does it again before he pulls back to look down at Derek.

If there's one thing he knows beyond the shadow of a doubt, it's that Derek is never going to apologize for playing the hero. He's never going to be sorry for trying to keep Spencer and the rest of the team out of harm's way, and he's never going to be sorry that he puts himself in danger to do it. And most of the time Spencer doesn't mind, because he knows Derek and he accepted who he is a long time ago. But there are times – when he doesn't know where Derek is and his heart's pounding way too hard and Garcia's panicking over the phone line – when Spencer wishes he hadn't fallen in love.

"I love you," he says, and he knows he sounds sort of angry, but he doesn't try to take it back.

"I know," Derek answers, hand in Spencer's hair to smooth it back out of his face. "I love you too."

"Good," Spencer says, and he's not sure that's true, because it makes their lives a lot more complicated. But he couldn't imagine going back to what he had before this – endless empty nights punctuated by all the death they deal with – and the truth is he doesn't want to. He doesn't even want Derek to change; it's just that sometimes he wishes he didn't have to hold his breath every time the phone rings.

He pushes up on his knees, catching Derek's hands in his own and dragging them up over his head. He pins Derek's wrists to the mattress and leans in for a hard kiss, ignoring the hips thrusting under him and the way Derek's whole body presses up to get closer. His mouth leaves Derek's to press against his jaw, nipping at the skin just below Derek's ear until he gasps and arches hard against Spencer's hands.

And he knows Derek could break his hold if he wanted; knows that if Derek wanted to he could have Spencer on his back in no time at all. But he lets Spencer take control because he knows exactly what Spencer needs, and when Spencer lets go of his wrists to reach for the lube a hand slides almost tentatively along his hip.

The gentleness of the touch makes his stomach flutter, and he looks down to find Derek still watching him. They're all behavior experts, so it's not that hard to hide how they're feeling most of the time, which is why it makes Spencer's heart skip a beat when he sees that Derek isn't even trying. He lets Spencer see the love there, and the regret for scaring him and even the resignation, because they both know he's going to do it again. And it's going to be just as hard to take the next time, but Spencer knows it's worth it.

He shifts until he's kneeling between Derek's thighs, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear before he pours some lube into one hand and presses two slick fingers inside. Derek lets out a little hiss and closes his eyes, pressing down until Spencer's fingers are buried as deep as they can go. Derek pushes his legs further apart, draws his knees up to his chest and Spencer sucks in a breath at the sight.

It's still a little hard to believe that Derek trusts him enough to just let go like this, because Derek Morgan never lets go. It's hard to believe that Derek wants him this much, that he knows Spencer better than anyone and he still feels this way.

Spencer's chest tightens at the thought, but he distracts himself by focusing on the way Derek's moving against him. He's rocking up in time to the thrusts of Spencer's fingers, eyes closed and head thrown back and Spencer can't resist the urge to lean forward and lick Derek's neck. He tastes like salt, smells like aftershave and sweat and Derek, and Spencer's cock twitches at the combined assault on his senses.

He slides his fingers out of Derek, ignoring the impatient noise in the back of Derek's throat as he presses their lips together again. Derek's hand lands on the back of his neck to hold him in place, and Spencer lets him hold on for a minute before he pulls away to reach for a condom. He bites back a gasp as he grips his cock and rolls the condom down, squeezing some more lube on his fingers and sliding a slick hand down his length.

When he looks up again Derek's still watching him, eyes impossibly darker and when Spencer kneels between his legs again Derek wraps his thighs around Spencer's waist. He lines himself up and pushes inside in one long, slow stroke, eyes on Derek's face to watch his mouth drop open. The sound he makes would probably embarrass him if he ever paid any attention, but he's already too far gone to hear himself.

And Spencer likes being able to make Derek lose control that way, so he shifts his balance a little and thrusts forward again. That gets him a moan, low and deep and sending a shiver through Spencer's entire body. Derek slides a hand between them to grip his own erection, stroking in time to Spencer's thrusts until they're both breathless and sweat-slick and panting.

Spencer doesn't last long; he can't, not when he's been thinking about this since before they got on the plane in Philadelphia. Since he first saw Derek, shaken and a little pissed at being taken by surprise, but otherwise safe and unharmed. Spencer didn't say a word to him on the plane ride home, and Derek kept his distance for the same reason. Because they both knew what would happen if they got anywhere near each other, and it's one thing for the team to think they're sleeping together, but it's another thing to hand them proof.

He thrusts one more time, whole body tensing as he comes. He's still buried inside Derek when Derek tightens around him, arching up and coming on their stomachs and his own fingers. Spencer slumps against Derek's chest, vaguely aware of strong arms encircling him to pull him even closer. Warm lips brush his forehead and he lets out a contented ‘hmm', eyes still closed and drifting on the feeling of being wrapped in Derek.

The body under him shifts and he slips out of Derek, biting back a sigh at the loss. Then they're rolling until Spencer's back hits the mattress, and he forces his eyes open to watch Derek pull the condom off. He feels the mattress dip as Derek gets up, eyes drifting closed again while he listens to water running in the bathroom and then the sound of footsteps crossing the bedroom. When Derek climbs back into bed Spencer turns toward him, eyes fluttering open to peer up at him through his eyelashes.

"I never asked if you were okay," he says, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand.

Derek grins at him, leaning in to press another kiss to Spencer's temple. "Fine now," he says, pulling Spencer close and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "What about you?"

"Perfect," Spencer murmurs against Derek's chest. It's not the truth, exactly, but it's close enough.

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