Title: A Cat's Tale
By: jiskah
Pairing: Prentiss/Reid
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don´t owe Criminal Minds, everything belongs to CBS
Author´s note: We all know Reid doesn´t have luck with dogs, so I think of him as a cat owner and had the idea it would be funny to write a fiction from the cat´s point of view. Originally it was written in my mother language but I guess the humor comes trough in english.
Summary: Reid's cat tells what it is like to live with the FBI genius.

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So there is my owner coming home. Like every evening he puts his satchel on his chair. I love his satchel, it's made of leather and very good for sharpening my claws. If I were allowed to...

Ok once again I use my scratching post like a good kitty.

Somehow my owner is a strange biped. My mother used to tell me human beings are social and normally aren't alone even if we were living with them. She didn't know my owner, he is not social, at least not when it came to his own species. I am not a specialist for this species but I think even he should have found a match by now but he hasn't. But that's good for me, more time to be cuddled and I don't want to share him with someone else, especially not with another biped.

A moment... there is someone coming...guests? For us? Hey, perhaps it's my cat sitter, then I will have someone to play with. You would think she would learn to not wear long and huge earrings when she visits me but she doesn't. More fun for me.

No, these footsteps don't belong to her. Who else? Hmmm, let me hear... damn I can't hear it properly, I need to go to the door. That means my owner will know there are visitors coming and he won't knock over some things. It's so funny when he jumps out of his skin because the doorbell rings. He always looks like a little kitten when he does it.

Ok, those are definitively footsteps of a female biped, but not my cat sitter. Who is it? Fantastic, now he sees I am sitting here. Ok, the doorbell is ringing, so no fun watching him knocking something over. Bad luck, so now let me see who is visiting us.

"Emily? I am surprised you came so fast."

"When the incredible Spencer Reid invites me to his home I can't let the chance go by."

Spencer blushed and lets her enter. With a little smile she looked around.

"Exactly what I imagined. Books where ever you can see."

"Uhm, yes... most of them are my mother's."

"Really? This isn't light literature."

Emily went over some of the spines of the books, as a grey tabby tomcat suddenly strolled around her feet.

"May I introduce you? This is my tomcat Benjamin Franklin."

"You named your cat after an inventor? Why aren't I surprised?"

She hunkered down and petted Benjamin who immediately began to purr.

Hmm...purr...how pleasant.

Ok boy you can keep her. She is a lot nicer than the last one you brought in. She is great with petting you should try this.

Hmmm... like heaven.

Why didn't you invite her earlier? Then I wouldn't have needed to get grouchy the last time. I wonder if that other female biped still has the scratch marks on her face. I guess it looks funny. I think I really should have scratched the patterns of a chessboard in her face, would be more fun.

Oh boy, where did you meet this one? That's phenomenal. I hope she is staying or elsewhere YOU will have the patterns of a chessboard upon your face my dear owner, I swear it by my nine lives.

Hey moment... fantastic I don't need to scare the other female bipeds off anymore. Oh heavenly lives you have me back, it took enough time. How long am I here? The way they count it must be three years, or... let me think...one...seven...yes indeed three years. That's really too much for a poor little kitten. Maybe we have nine lives for surviving this.

Hey what are you doing? Don't stop! You are my chief petting biped. Hey stay with me! Go on! Don't stop! That's so mean!

"That's weird."

Emily looked at Spencer without stopping to pet the cat.

"What?"

"Normally Benjamin scares all the women off, except Penelope."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. Because of him JJ has those nice scratch marks."

"That was Benjamin? He is so nice, I don't understand that."

Spencer shrugged his shoulders and went to get some coffee.

"How many women did he actually scare off?"

"More than you would think, Emily."

"Are you a little Casanova or what?"

Emily knew that women were a never-ending story between Derek and Spencer. She stood up and went over to Spencer with a meowing Benjamin on her heels. In the meantime Spencer choked on his coffee and thought he would cough out a lung when Emily asked about him being a Casanova.

"Why do you think that?", he finally asked.

"You said Benjamin scared off every woman except for Penelope, that lead me to the opinion you had more than two women over here. So?"

"A few, yes."

"I guess this evening is full of surprises. First you invite me to your place, and I get to know I am the second woman that Benjamin likes. And now I learn you are not as clueless as everyone thinks when it comes to relationships nor are you that helpless either. That leads me to the question: Why did you invite me?"

"Uhm, well...´cause I thought...erm, we could get to know each other better. I mean if you would like to."

She faced him from the side and it seemed as if she wanted to stare him down.

"Are there any special reasons I should know?"

"What? No, I just thought if we work together we should know each other better... I mean as colleagues."

Emily burst out laughing.

"It's really easy to trip you up. I know what you mean."

Spencer sigh was more than audible. He was afraid Emily would misunderstand him, but elsewhere...

Lost in thoughts he watched his tomcat running back and forth in front of Emily still meowing to get her attention back.

Hello? I am still here. I want to be petted. That's so unfair. First you pet me up to seventh heaven and then you stopped. Pet me! Go on, I want attention. NOW!

What's going on now? Why are you petting my owner? I am the tomcat! Not him! He doesn't know how to appreciate it, but I do!

Where are you going? This isn't the front door, it's on the opposite side! Hey are you listening to me? Guys? What do you think you are doing? Hey come out of there. Hello! I want to be loved! Lonely little kitten over here. Earth to owner: I want to play!

Fantastic it seems as it might take a while till they come out again. Great. First you bring home the most beautiful and nicest female biped on earth and now you reserve her for yourself. I won't forget that! Okay, I am going to leave. Okay, I will get petted somewhere else. Perhaps the nice old lady living on the floor above us? Or the nice little girl living across the street? I guess you forgot me. Sniff, poor me little unloved tomcat.

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