Title: Unspoken
By: criminally-dirty-mind
Pairing: Reid/JJ & some Morgan/Garcia
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slight spoilers for season 2 episodes 6 - The Boogeyman - and 11 - Sex, Birth, Death - ...nothing major, just a few notes about them. Some Emily bashing.
Legal shit: I own nothing but my two very spoiled dogs, so unless you want to keep them in the life they've become accustomed to, don't sue me.
Summary: Mostly angst and fluff, some smut.

***

The warmth on his arm reminded him that he wasn't alone in his own bed. The smell of jasmine hung in his nostrils, and even before he opened his eyes he could see the blond silk resting inches from his face. He slid his hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him, causing her to stir for only a moment. She whimpered, and snuggled against his chest. Taking a last deep breath he opened his eyes. Confirming it wasn't a dream, he looked skyward.

His ceiling was white cottage cheese, he had once calculated the number of bumps on it using a one foot square for estimation, but that was before her. Before her, when he couldn't sleep. Before her, when nightmares kept him out of bed for days after each case. Not now, now, he slid under the covers as soon he could upon returning from cases that took them away from home for days at a time. Now, he dreamed of her kisses, her skin, her giggle as his hand slid over her stomach.

Too long his life had been empty, though he never saw it until she filled the void. Too long he had envied Morgan's ability to entice the opposite sex until she enticed him. Too long he had watched her and wished, and done nothing. Too long, he had gone without knowing the true pleasure of a woman he loved. Too long since the last time she slept in his arms.

Silently he cursed having to leave her in a few hours, knowing she would not be waiting for him when he got home. She stirred again mumbling something into his chest before she turned away from him. He curled to her back and kissed her shoulder then her neck. She mumbled again, and leaned her head back against him. He kissed her forehead, and her eyes fluttered open, blue beneath black lashes.

She smiled, and turned back to face him. He took her mouth with his own, softly, then slowly growing harder with urgency. His fingers gently pressed her face up to meet his, his teeth catching lightly on her bottom lip. She whimpered in pleasure, sliding on top of him. He stared into her eyes as she positioned herself over his ready manhood. As he entered her, her head fell back, and she bit her lower lip, her hands digging into his chest. She slumped over him, her hair tickling his face, and kissed him while he began to thrust into her.

Leaning back, her hands resting on her breasts, whimpering quietly with each thrust, she smiled at his stare. He leaned up and kissed her once more, his hands wrapping around her pulling her close. Her head leaned over his arm; his teeth grazed her shoulder as she cried out in pleasure. Their bodies moved in rhythm, her hips working on top of his, his arms tensing around her, his tongue sliding gently across her collarbone.

He rolled over her, pressing her into the pillows, pushing deeper with each thrust. Her legs moved around his waist, his hands held her own above her head. Soon, she was reaching her climax, and her spasms bought him to his own. He thrust within her several times before resting his body on hers, their foreheads touching. He kissed her gently, and slowly, he moved to her side as their breaths slowed. He felt her slide into the crook of his arm, closed it around her and kissed her forehead again.

Hours later he awoke, and carefully slid out from under her. He watched her sleep as he knotted his tie, and whispered to her sleeping form what he could not say to her before quietly slipping out the door.

Sitting at his desk, Dr. Spencer Reid stared at Jennifer Jareau across the bullpen, on the phone, her form now hidden under a sensible suit. He wondered if there would ever be more than silent love making upon the arrival home from emotionally draining cases. He wondered if he would ever tell her that he loved her when she could hear him. He wondered if she even loved him, or just needed him. Once, after a long case, they had talked about nightmares. They had shared a cab, several drinks, and then one secret sexual encounter. Months had passed before she showed up at his door after leaving Elle in the hospital. He stood in his doorway, as she wordlessly slipped past him and into his room. Now, after every case that took them away from home, she shared his bed for one night they never acknowledged with words.

She caught him looking at her and smiled, her hand resting on her shoulder still stinging from the heat of his bite hours before. She had to break eye contact to maintain her composure. He had told her he loved her this morning, but only because he thought she couldn't hear him. After he reset the alarm for her and slipped out the door, she had laid in his bed counting bumps on the ceiling trying to get her mind off the fact that she loved him too. Now he was staring at her, and all she could see was his naked form on top of her own staring into her eyes as he thrust within her. He always made her feel like she was the only thing in the world when he looked at her, an disquieting ability unique to the deepness of his eyes. Regaining her calm, she ended her conversation and walked towards her office.

"J.J. we have a case in Boston," Hotch said handing her a file as he walked by. She looked back at Spencer who had heard and looked up. A case that would bring them away from this place that made her wish she was still in his arms. It was a needed distraction from him, distraction from the non-existence of their relationship, another reason to crawl into his bed instead of her own upon their return. Soon enough, she thought, this case will be over, and we will be waiting for a cab.

Spencer watched as she walked into her office to prepare the files for the team. He wondered what she had been thinking, wondered if he could resist the urge to follow her in there and say something. He wondered what words would even be appropriate in the face of so much left unspoken. Most of all, he wondered if the night before would be enough to get him through until they returned from Boston.

***

He was adorable, curled up on the bench seat next to Morgan. All she could think was that they had spent too much time together on this case. He had been told to stay at the station and work with her. They exchanged glances but no words as the rest of the team left them alone. He shook his head, and then as he lowered it began to talk about the case. She stepped towards him, wanting to say a thousand things, but found herself just asking what she could do to help. He looked at her again. He looked sad, almost desperate, "Hand me that file, please," the only words he could muster.

The case had taken the team several days. Once, she thought she heard him pacing in the next hotel room, but when she slid to the edge of her bed, her body would not allow her to get any closer to the wall. As she watched him sleep next to Morgan, she was reminded of a guard dog watching its young owner. She did not dare get close to him for her fear of the dog, for her fear of Morgan's intuition. Still, it took every ounce of her energy to hold herself in her seat across the isle, and carry on a conversation with Elle. She knew it wasn't her fear of Morgan knowing, but the fear that she would never be able to touch him outside of the confines of his room, outside of their secret moments, that kept her from sleep on the plane.

A hand on her shoulder startled her, and she curled into it, hoping it was his, but finding it was Morgan's. "We're home, let's get some rest." She smiled, and pulled herself up. The bench, like the plane was now empty. 'Perhaps he avoids being here when I wake up so often, he is getting good at it,' she thought. As she left the plane, she watched him say his goodbyes to the team, then saw him slide into the backseat of a cab with Gideon, and ride away. She hurried to the cab Morgan was holding for her, and rode in silence back to the lot.

As she slid her key into the lock, she felt him approaching. The lot was empty but for their cars, he must have made some excuse to get something from the office as she did. He stood behind her for a moment, both too afraid to let their eye's meet. Afraid they would lose the courage they thought they had built up for what needed to be said. She did not turn, just lowered her keys and waited.

"J.J., I can't." The words burnt, made her want to die; instead she turned to face her executioner. Were there tears in his eyes, or were the ones in hers blurring her vision? "I can't be the man you want, I can't ask you to be the woman I need." She stood her ground, holding the tears back; wanting to scream at him that she knew he loved her, that he had to know she loved him. He slid his hand onto her shoulder, and smiled the crooked grin of a broken man. She reached for his arm, holding it in place, "Spencer," "No," he interrupted, "I should never have let my feelings involve themselves. I cannot be the man I have been." "Spencer," "J.J., I let myself fall in love with you, and I know that it's only my fault. I knew what you needed, and I allowed myself to believe you might want more. I have wanted to say…so many…I can't."

The tears fell freely now from two sets of eyes. His arm fell away, and her hands held her face, cold after the warmth of his touch as he walked away. She stood there, unable to forgive herself for not speaking up. Unable to believe he wasn't here. Where had this all gone so wrong? Once she had wanted comfort, and he had been willing. Then, she had needed him as he was the only one could comfort her, and he had been there. Now, she loved him, and he was gone. She had no idea how much time passed before she slid behind her steering wheel, before a new resolve took over her body and she slid into auto-pilot.

'The bed is cold, and sitting in this armchair, I realize I may never be able to sleep in it again. She let me walk away, which proved my hypothesis. She couldn't love me. The tears were an emotional outlet because of the physical one I had resolved to deny her. I was right, I had to be. I can not be a secret sexual partner, a physical outlet, not when I love her.' His mind raced along with his pulse. He slid his face into his hands, fighting back the tears he hated himself for shedding so easily. He walked to the bathroom, resolute to put her behind him after a hot shower. He scrubbed until his skin was raw, trying to remove all traces of her touch, her smell, her gaze from his mind. When he finally exited the shower, he walked wrapped in the towel to his room, and shook off her scent which still clung to his room. Pushing his bedroom door open he saw her crumpled next to the bed, clinging to the jacket he had discarded, crying.

Their eyes met, "I love you too." His eyes searched for truth, yearned for understanding, processed all the facts. She stared hopelessly at him, wanting him to know everything. "I heard you, before Boston, I loved you before. I wanted something.. I may have needed something.. but I have always loved you." She stood and slowly walked towards him. Her hands on his chest seemed surreal, he was certain she was a hallucination, firm not to react. But then her lips covered his own. Her mouth was warm and desperate. Her head fell to his shoulder, and the heat of her tears stung his still sensitive skin. He could not stop his arms from sliding around her waist, and he pulled her close, rememorizing the smell of her hair.

***

For months, they had continued their love affair in secret. When Elle suddenly disappeared from their lives, they had clung to each other as if to validate the reality of their relationships. He had considered her a friend, then suddenly she was gone without a goodbye. Her ego was equally bruised, and she was still unsure of Emily's motives. An unspoken treaty held them together but kept them silent. They never shared more than needed to be said. She had girlfriends she confided in without the fear of them profiling her, and he had a confidant who satisfied his need to share as well. There had been silent love making, and secret glances shared at the BAU. There had been quiet giggles, and exchanged smiles about knowing something no one else knew. The thrill of not sharing, wondering when they were going to be caught, seemed to fuel the heat already surrounding their rendezvous. They had settled into an odd sort of normalcy, the only kind he had ever known. They existed in a love without questions, a relationship that didn't leave room for interrogation or suspicion.

Still, when he awoke and she was staring at him, her eyes begging to speak for her, he couldn't help but ask. "What?" Spencer asked through a smile. As if pulled from a trance, she quickly pulled away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed her back to him. He slid next to her, sliding his hand under the sheet draped around her and kissed her shoulder. "What did I do?" She pulled away from him, "Stop touching me, I can't be mad while you're touching me." She stole the sheet and slid into the chair across from his bed.

It took every ounce of energy he had to hide his smile behind a sober stare. He wondered if he ought to be concerned even as he noted how irresistible she was when she was mad, if that truly was what this face meant. His mind began to turn a mile a minute, profiling her quickly. She had seemed distant last night, but he had written it off to their new sort of normal. Making love to her hadn't been the same since Nathan had come into his life. His emotional energy poured into it, but the silence that followed always made him feel like he was drowning, just out of her reach. "You think it's funny," she sneered snapping him back to the present, and wiping the smile from his face. "I am just trying to understand. J.J. please tell me what this look means. Tell me what's wrong, so I can fix it." Even the brightest men could be such idiots.

"It's not easy for me to admit that I am jealous Spence. That I envy the way she touches you and doesn't care who is watching, the way you slide in her car to go have lunch, you think that's easy for me?" Suddenly lights flickered on in his mind, the dots connected, "You're jealous of Garcia?" This time he laughed out loud. She was fuming. "Spencer! Don't laugh at me, I am jealous…I was jealous, now I'm just pissed." He reached his hand for hers and pulled her back to the bed, to his lap. "J.J., she's my friend. There is nothing between us, nothing like…" "There is. She knows she can touch you in the office, she doesn't hesitate to ask you to lunch, she can be with you at work in a way that I can't. It sucks for me."

Spencer ran his fingers through her hair, pressing it behind her ear. "J.J. we can have that. We can have that; I just thought you wanted this to be ours, just ours. I haven't told anyone because I am afraid that things will change, and they are pretty perfect the way they are." She looked at him, fighting his smile with her pout. "It's silly I know I just…get jealous. I feel like you tell her things. You were with her when Nathan…and I didn't talk to you for two days. I want to be the one you come to." This time his smile was different. "What?" she managed.

He kissed her gently, "You are so in love with me." "What?" she sniffled. "You are SO in love with me," he playfully repeated. "Yeah," she whispered. "Yeah?" he teased. "Yeah," she smiled. "I'm sorry," he mouthed as their lips met. He tilted her face to his own, and mouthed the words again, "I'm sorry." He kissed her gently and whispered into her ear, "I am sorry." She giggled and pulled back, "OK, I get it." He pulled her in for a kiss, and she pushed him back onto the bed.

She slid above him and leaned down dusting his chest with kisses. His hands ran up her back, pulling her into place, as he slid into her slowly. She whimpered and leaned back, his strong hands bracing her. She began to slowly rise and fall with his thrusts, and her hands dug into his chest as he pushed harder. He pulled her down to him and kissed her neck and chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he slid his tongue across her throat. He rolled her over and pressed her hands into the pillows above their heads.

He pulled her hip up against his side and slid deeper within her. Their eyes met, her pout gone entirely, she bit her lower lip to keep herself from giggling as he leaned down and whispered again, "I'm sorry," before teasing her mouth within millimeters of a kiss. She laughed as he repeated it with each thrust into her. He pressed harder and deeper, until she tightened around him and her body relaxed beneath his weight. He thrust several more times, slowly, then finished as he kissed her neck and chest.

He slid to her side, and smiled as she curled to his chest, her hair tickling his nose. "Does this mean you forgive me?" She laughed and hit his chest a little harder than necessary. "Ouch," he joked, "Garcia might ask if I come to work all bruised up." "Oh, hush." She cooed as she slid her tongue into his mouth. "By the way, I am completely aware of how in love with me you are, so don't think you're so cool getting my admission," J.J. playfully teased him. He smiled as he looked down at her, "Good." He whispered kissing her forehead. Satisfied smiled spread across both faces staring at the ceiling, as the lovers slowly drifted to sleep.

***

Garcia was sitting on his desk as usual talking about god knows what. He nodded and laughed, and she hit his knee. It was obvious that the two were close. She had been jealous of their relationship once, she still was, but she adored how genuine his smile and laughter were with Garcia. She didn't doubt her own ability to make him happy, but Garcia had an entirely different affect on him. She made him open up to the world. During the time she spent with him, they stayed shut in their own little world that could only be interrupted by calls from the BAU. Something caught her eye and she couldn't help but smile at Morgan's expression. She wondered if he was jealous too. Everyone knew the two of them had at the very least a flirty friendship and more likely an incredible sex life. She laughed at herself, I wonder if anyone thinks that about Spence and me. She quickly looked around to make sure no one had seen her watching him talk to Garcia and slid elegantly into her office without catching anyone's notice.

Meanwhile Garcia was suggesting dinner and a movie. "I can't tonight, some other time?" he offered. "Ok, who is she?" Garcia said with a perfectly straight face. "What? What are you talking about?" he stammered quickly checking that J.J. was no longer looking at them. "You never say no to me. Then in the last two weeks you have turned me down four times. You are either too afraid to let me break your heart or you are sleeping with someone. So, who is she?" Spencer coughed, the cold coffee he had grabbed as a distraction catching in his throat. "What? I am not afraid…" "Who is she?" she prodded sliding closer to him on his desk and slipping two fingers around his tie. "Garcia, there is no need for violence…I am just…" She smiled and stood, his tie firmly in hand. "My office, now." He stood quickly and was lead up the stairs past J.J.'s open office door and pushed into Garcia's room. As the door shut behind her, she nudged him backwards into her chair.

"Garcia," he started to reason. "Listen Doc, I was teasing you. Just giving you a hard time, but your objection tells me that I was more right than I could have imagined. I am your friend, as far as I know your only female friend, so you're gonna want my advice on presents, or movies or something sooner rather than later, so SPILL THE BEANS. Who are you sleeping with?" Spencer sat quietly for a moment, he both hated that she always knew what to say and loved her for it. "Garcia, this is not something that can end up in a chat room." "She pulled up another chair and slid in so their knees touched. "I can keep secrets baby doll, trust me. Spill." "Garcia, you can't tell her you know." "Oh my god," was all she said before she covered her gaping mouth. "You and J.J.?" He looked at her in awe. "I didn't say…" "Oh my god. Spencer! Look at you go! That's hot. That bitch." "What?" Spencer asked a little dazed and confused.

"I so asked her last week if you two were hooked up yet and she lied to me. How long has this been going on? Oh my god, is it totally textbook hot?" Spencer laughed at her seriousness. "She didn't lie to you on purpose. We decided secret was better for now." "Ok, so over the lie, I wanna know about how hot it is!" Spencer laughed, feeling for the first time in the conversation that he held the power. He stood and walked to the door, leaving her stunned. He turned just as the door was about to shut sliding his head in, "Is it hot with Morgan?" and walked with a cool saunter he never would have dared to use moments ago towards J.J.'s office.

He knocked gently on her door frame, she was on the phone but she nodded at him and smiled. He quietly shut her door and locked it, stepping over to the front of her very messy desk. Without realizing it he started straightening it until her hand landed on top of his and she mouthed, "My mess!" He held back his laughter, held his hands up and stepped away. She ended her phone call and smiled at him as she laid down the phone.

"Garcia knows," he almost whispered. Her smile faded, "Did you tell her?" "No." "Then how does she know?" "Women's intuition?" he smirked at her feigned irritation. She stood and walked around her desk stopping between it and him and placing her hand on his belt buckle. She pulled him to her and his hands automatically sought her hair as they kissed lightly.

"I didn't tell her, she just knows. She said you lied to her," he whispered as he began to kiss her neck. "I didn't lie, I just omitted the truth." He pulled back and smiled at her. "That you are in love with me? Or that the sex is textbook hot?" She giggled and pushed him away. "She didn't ask about the sex, and you better have said yes if she asked you!" He laughed leaning in for another quick kiss before slipping out of her office. She leaned back on her desk and couldn't help but smile.

Flipping open her laptop she quickly found the right IM; "I'd like to make a brief statement, but will not be taking any questions at this time. Like everything he does, it's textbook hot. Tell Morgan, or anyone, and I'll use my firearm license. Thanks, and have a lovely day." She shut it and walked into the hall in just enough time to hear Garcia's hysterical laughter from her office. Spencer and Derek looked up from their desks and J.J. shrugged with an innocent smile as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

***

It felt like any other rainy Sunday morning. Spencer sipped his coffee as he scanned over the papers he subscribed to. CNN was on, but he wasn't really watching or listening. In fact, even the Times wasn't catching his attention. Instead, he focused over his mug on her form. Standing straight as a bored, he admired her perfect posture, sipping her own coffee, totally consumed by the news. His eyes tracked to the TV and back to her, concentration entirely on Anderson Cooper. "I have heard he's gay," he said lightly, returning to his paper, hiding his excitement waiting for a response. She turned; her interest diverted, and walked over to his chair.

She slid the paper from his hands and sat on his lap. "Gay, maybe. Gorgeous, for sure." She leaned in and kissed him gently. "Sorry, you know how I get about the news." "Yeah, he whispered, I know how you get about gorgeous male reporters." She giggled and cuddled into his arms. He set down his coffee and slid his fingers through her blonde hair. "This is nice, isn't it?" She looked at him, slightly confused. "What is nice?" "This," Spencer replied. "Sunday morning, nothing waiting on us, no obligation, just this." She smiled and kissed him lightly before resting her head on his shoulder, "Yeah, it's nice."

That sat in silence for a moment, just soaking up the comfort. She turned her head and smiled. "Tell me something." "Like what?" "Tell me something no one else knows about you." His forehead burrowed, "You don't have any secrets?" He smiled, "Oh, I have plenty of secrets." She laughed. "Please." "I love that you call me Spence. No one has ever called me Spence before." "Never?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "Never." "In school you never went by Spence?" "Nope, always Spencer. Even Gideon calls me Reid." "Hmm…" she responded. "You're turn, tell me something." J.J. wrinkled her nose, deep in thought. "You know, I started going by J.J. because it sounded tougher." "What?" Spencer asked, confused and completely intrigued. "Yeah, I was Jenny until middle school. Then when I started playing soccer the guys would all yell, Jenny blocks like a dude. I played with boys mostly until the high school team, so I had my mom put J.J. on my jersey. It sounded better when they guys called J.J. to play in the mud with them. Better than Jenny anyway. My mom calls me Jenny, no one else."

Spencer smiled and pulled her back for a gentle kiss. "I like Jenny, and I like J.J. I think you could be tough and be Jenny." "You think?" she asked leaning back against him. "I do kind of miss Jenny. She was tough in her own way, not afraid to crimp her hair or wear blue eye shadow." "Crimped hair?" He laughed. "Hush, it was the eighties. Jenny was very popular with the boys." "She still is," he said, his fingers still sliding through her hair.

"This is nice," she almost whispered, as she turned to face his smile. "Yeah," he said kissing her forehead, "It's nice."

***

He didn't know when it had started, but he found himself calling her Jen in their private moments. She so enjoyed being the only person who ever called him Spence, and to him, calling her Jen was just one more part of her that was only his. She didn't seem to mind it, he wasn't even sure she noticed it. He loved the way she would smile when he whispered "You look beautiful today Jen." In her ear as he passed her at the BAU coffee pot. Sometimes his texts would mischievously read, 'Jenlunch? 3 Spence' while they were with the whole team. He was always careful to call her J.J. when addressing her at work or in front of any of their coworkers, which made the game even more fun for him. He felt like for once he was beating Gideon. As usual this was not what he was supposed to be thinking about. The team was in the conference room discussing a new case, but his attention was focused on the pen in his hand and on the smell of her hair so close, yet just out of reach.

"Reid?" Gideon said. "Yeah," Spencer quickly agreed, "If we proceed with a press conference he won't be able to resist calling." Morgan nodded, oblivious, and Hotch and Gideon continued talking details with J.J., with Jen, he thought to himself and smiled. The team dispersed, walking down towards their desks. As he approached his, finishing a text message, he was startled to look up just in time to keep from running face first into Emily.

"So, I was thinking maybe we could get a drink tonight or something…I mean, all of us, I mean…you, me, Morgan, and J.J." Spencer slid his glasses off of his face. It wasn't that he didn't like her, or that any of them disliked her, but she wasn't part of their family. "Um, sure. You should talk to Morgan, and that's not all of us. Garcia, Hotch and Gideon are also on our team," he said as coolly as he could, sliding past her and sitting at his desk. She was not so easily diverted. "Look, I just really think if you guys got to know me you might actually like me. I respect all of you, I just didn't think Hotch or Gideon would be interested, and I wasn't actually aware that Garcia was considered a team member, I thought she was our tech resource." He tried to hide his annoyance, "Garcia is a vital member of our team. Morgan is much better at socializing, so like I said, perhaps you should talk to him. But count me in, excuse me." He said, once again sliding past her, file in hand.

As he stepped in J.J.'s office he pushed the door shut behind him. In the bullpen Emily approached Morgan. "Am I stepping on toes, are Spencer and J.J. together?" Morgan looked up at her confused, "What? Why are you…what are you talking about?" "Well, I asked him if all of us could maybe get a drink and he blew me off, telling me to talk to you because you are more social and then shut himself into J.J.'s office." Morgan turned, noting that her office door was indeed shut, "Um, what?" he asked as he returned his attention at least partially to her. "I just thought maybe we could all get a drink or something. I didn't mean to interrupt relationships." Morgan gave her a kind smile, also hiding his irritation. "Yeah, it's a good idea. I'll get the team in on it and let you know." His curiosity tapped, he quickly walked towards J.J.'s office.

Spencer was telling J.J. about Emily's proposal, sitting on her desk in front of her, her hands on his knees when there were two quick knocks before the door slid open. Her hands immediately slid to her own lap, he stood just as quickly, and both turned to look at their intruder. Morgan could not hide his smile as he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. "What's up Derek?" J.J. asked. "Nothing, you talking about Emily?" he asked stepping closer. Spencer had since stepped to the other side of her desk ending up next to Derek. "Yeah, Spencer was telling me about how she left Garcia, Hotch and Gideon out of her 'the whole team' for drinks." Morgan scoffed, "I want to give her a chance, but she's just so…" "Pushy." Spencer finished his sentence. "Yeah," they all agreed. "She just thinks she knows everything," Morgan added. "Hey, you say that about me too," Spencer cautioned. "Yeah, but you do know everything," Morgan responded and they all laughed. "I mean, she thinks she knows us. She thinks the two of you are together." "What?" J.J. asked feigning shock. Spencer was slightly amused at the irony, "Ouch." J.J. smiled, "I didn't mean it like that Spence." His smile returned. "Yeah," Morgan said, "see what I mean?" "Well, I think we have to give her a chance, Gideon and Hotch would have gotten rid of her already if they were going to," J.J. reasoned.

The guys looked at each other resigned, "Let's not tell Garcia she didn't include her," J.J. added. Both guys laughed, "Yeah, Garcia might not take that well, and my money would have to be on her if they got in a fight," Morgan added. J.J. laughed and hit his arm, while Spencer genuinely seemed concerned, "Do you think she would?" Derek and J.J. exchanged glances and started to laugh. "So," Derek said, "tonight?" J.J. made quick eye contact with Reid, "Yeah," he said. She shook her head in agreement. "I'll get Garcia to come with." "Hotch and Gideon?" Reid asked. "You know they won't," both Morgan and J.J. agreed. J.J. opened her office door and the three exited. Emily looked up from her desk just in time to watch the guys head into the break room and to see J.J. head into Garcia's office.

Minutes later the men sat down at their desks. "So, did you guys decide I was worth a drink?" Emily asked. Spencer looked at Derek to reply. "A drink would be nice. J.J. said she'd invite Garcia and let Gideon and Hotch know incase they decided to join us." Emily nodded and smiled, and started back into what she was doing prior to their return. Spencer and Derek exchanged glances, then picked up files and got back to work themselves. Spencer's phone alerted him that he had a message, and he smiled as he read, "Think you can handle drinking with me and not touching me? Garcia is having way too much fun with this. XOXO J.J."

As predicted, Hotch and Gideon had excuses why they couldn't come, but Hotch was sure to commend J.J. on her attempt to include Emily. He was hasty to add that it appeared she would be around for awhile, as if to reassure her that he had not made the decision to add her without letting the team know. J.J. had shrugged, "She is trying, so we decided we could too. I'll let you know how it goes."

Around quitting time, Garcia emerged from her office and sat on Spencer's desk. "Ready for this?" she asked, laughing. "I can handle it," he responded to her challenge. Soon, the group was all packed up and headed for the elevator. J.J. offered to ride with Spencer, and Garcia spoke up, "Me and Emily can just ride with Derek." Derek nodded his ok, and Emily just seemed happy to be going out with the group at all.

In the car, J.J. and Spencer talked about how they didn't trust Emily; how they hoped Garcia would keep her cool, how obvious it was that Derek and Garcia were totally into each other. She leaned into his arm as she laughed, and he couldn't seem to wipe the smile off of his face. Before her he had never appreciated the power of touch. Yet he had grown to love the way she seemed to crave contact; she would always touch him 'accidentally' in the office, she curled to him in sleep if he had moved away at all. By the time they pulled in to a spot by Derek's SUV, however, their cover was in tact, appropriate space between them. Spencer held back purposefully checking that his car had locked, and took the opportunity to assess the group in front of him.

He watched as Morgan easily slid his arms around J.J. and Garcia. He imagined how Emily must feel sauntering behind them. He understood being on the outside looking in. Once, he would have been the one begging to be let in, funny how it hadn't occurred to him at all before that moment. When he tried to put time in perspective, it seemed that these people had been his family all his life. That the group in front of him shared more of him than people he had known since birth. He resolved to give Emily the chance they had all given him. He smiled and hurried to hold the door for his favorite trio, and the extra wheel.

Once seated and served their drinks of choice Emily offered a toast, "To a group of people I respect, and hope one day to have respect me." The others exchanged glances and accepted the toast. Garcia, never one for silence started the conversation easily, and everyone had something to say, a story to tell, or a memory brought up by the last speaker's tale. Drinks were refilled, toasts made, fish tales exchanged. Spencer, as usual was for the most part a silent observer, interrupting with useless facts or random details forgotten in the story telling. Emily exchanged memories with the group, the liquor an active lubricant for conversational flow. J.J. kept hitting his knee under the table when something Emily shared didn't sit right with her, or when he failed to laugh at something she found funny.

Finally Spencer could resist the urge no longer and slid into J.J. "Jen, can you let me out so I can visit the rest room?" She looked at him a little stunned, and he quickly realized why when Derek interrupted, "Did you just call her Jen?" Spencer never broke eye contact with J.J. but answered, "What? No, I don't think I did…did I?" J.J. broke in to deflect attention, "It's ok," and quickly stood to let him out. Before he got far enough away though, he heard Garcia, "Aw, he is so cute about you." He kept his gate up and slid into the bathroom hopeful that J.J.'s PR skills could write off his slip. He did have to admit it had felt good to call her Jen in front of other people, as if it marked his affection towards her.

At the table, J.J. was shooting daggers at Garcia with her eyes while Morgan chimed in, "J.J. quit playing with my man's emotions. You know he is hopeless over you." J.J. rolled her eyes, she had no desire to quit playing with Spence, and Derek had no idea how hopeless she was over him. "Hush," she managed to get out before Emily tried to weigh in. "I have thought from the beginning there was something between you two. Even if you don't think so, I think you guys could be great for each other." Suddenly J.J. was annoyed, "You don't know either of us." Emily quickly apologized, but everyone at the table, J.J. included, was a little shocked at the harshness of her response. Perhaps she thought, it simply worried her that this BAU baby had profiled their relationship better than the other teammates she would trust her life to.

Spencer could sense the tension as he returned to the table. Everyone was quietly sipping their drinks, Garcia was checking her phone, and J.J. looked miserable. As he slid into the booth next to her, she finally broke the silence. "Sorry," Emily interrupted her, "It's ok. You're right." Spencer had become an expert at reading J.J. and decided the evening was ready to end. "I think I am gonna head home, my bed awaits. J.J. do you want me to bring you back to your car or do you want to…" he couldn't finish before she agreed. "Yeah, obviously I'm not at my best when I'm this tired either. Thanks Spence." Garcia smiled at her, trying to lift her spirits. J.J. shot her a weak but sincere smile and nodded at the kiss Morgan blew her. "See you two Monday." Reid shook Morgan's hand and extended his hand to Emily. "This was a good idea. See you in the bullpen." J.J. agreed, "Thanks for inviting me Emily. See you Monday?" Emily nodded, and the two walked to the car in distant silence. Neither spoke until they were on the road. J.J. said, "Let's just go home, I can get my car tomorrow." She leaned onto his shoulder and they enjoyed the comfortable silence the rest of the trip.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he watched as she stripped and pulled on one of his t-shirts. "Do you want to talk?" She stopped, sadness filling her blue eyes, threatening to spill out in anger or frustration, but she said nothing. He stood, laid his clothes over a chair, slid his hand around her arm for a split second offering comfort, and slipped under the covers while she disappeared into the restroom. By the time she slid into bed, the lights were off and he was content not to know, facing the wall. "I was mean to her." He turned to face her and his hand automatically began to stroke her hair to comfort them both. "What happened?"

"She was profiling us, saying that she had known from the beginning we should be together. I just kind of blew up on her. I mean, she doesn't know us, right?" Spencer nodded, waiting for more. "She just gets under my skin. I mean, Derek's right, she thinks she knows everything, and she has no idea about us. I hate that she thinks she can break us down into her little molds. I mean like we should be together, because she can sense something. Better profilers have chosen not to see us, why doesn't she get that it's none of her business? That she doesn't know us well enough to talk casually about things that matter." She was rambling and not even agreeing with herself. She paused to catch her breath and to hold her tear ducts in check. "Sorry." Spencer smiled, pulled her into a gentle kiss and slid her into the warmth of his chest. "Don't apologize. It's ok. You have the right to be offended at her assumptions. Everyone knows I am not perfect in social situations, but what intuition I have tells me to close ranks, to not let her think she is one of us." Her breathing steadied calmed by his hand gently stroking her arm and by his words. "She is trying though, and let's not forget that no matter how much you don't want her to be, she is right." J.J. looked up at him, acceptance written in her face, kissing him quickly, and smiling as he pressed his lips to the tip of her nose.

"You called me Jen in front of them." He smiled, "Yeah, I guess I did." "I liked it," she almost whispered. "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Goodnight Jen," he said kissing her forehead. "Night Spence," came the quiet reply.

The tension relieved, the distrust exiting the room, the alcohol lulling them to close their eyes and breathe. She tucked in to his body, trying to soak up some of his goodness, wanting the compassion he clearly had to seep into her pores. She understood that he had been the new guy, the outsider. She admitted to herself that she had once wondered if she would ever be able to handle his genius without annoyance. As she lay there, drifting into sleep she reminded herself that she hadn't been quick to love him, but that now she loved him more than she had ever loved a man. Maybe Emily deserved a chance, maybe she was like them, trying to fill some personal hole with the team by filling the hole in the team. She kissed Spencer's chest, rising slowing with steady breathe. "Monday I am going to be nice," she whispered more to the night than to his sleeping form. "That's the Jen I love," he replied quietly, kissing the crown of her head nestled in the crook of his arm. "Sleep…dream…love me." She smiled as her eyes closed, Monday she was going to be nice.

***

Almost a week had passed since his slip of tongue, and to his knowledge their secret was still in tact. Garcia knew, which told his mind that everyone knew, a fact his heart denied. They were surrounded by the best profilers in the world, yet he clung to the hope that they were too close to see what was right before their faces. Still, ever since he had called her Jen in front of Morgan, he had been more careful not to sit by her in briefings, not to visit her office, not to exchange long stares when others were in the room. A firm composure held in check his constant desire to touch her. He consoled himself with the knowledge that even though she always went to her apartment as soon as she left work; she was always at his house by the time he was ready to get in bed. Here, in the confines of his space, he could touch her as much as he wanted.

It was getting harder and harder for her to pretend. She fought back the feminine urge to seek physical support from him at work. In their line of work it was particularly hard because of the nature of things they faced. When they were in the field, she knew he couldn't afford to worry about her first. Still, she noticed that when they could not be together his comforting texts were much more frequent. She was beginning to hate trips because of the emptiness hotel beds promised. He never came to her, and she couldn't bring herself to go to him. She never thought she would be the woman sleeping with a co-worker. She had fought hard to get where she was, to earn the respect of the boy's club FBI. She couldn't throw that away, even if her heart told her their love must be an exception to the rule.

Sitting at the round table, listening to Hotch and Gideon exchange theories, two hearts dropped knowing they would not be together that night. As the team separated, Reid slipped quickly away. By the time she entered her office, he was waiting for her, sitting on her desk. Their eyes met, both sets full of sadness and exhaustion at keeping up the charade. She broke eye contact turning to the door behind her, locking it. Before she could move to face him, he stood behind her, his hands curling around her shoulders, planting a soft kiss on the back of her neck as he brushed her ponytail aside. She closed her eyes and allowed this contact to engulf her entirely. He leaned into her, his face resting against her shoulder. "I'm going to miss you tonight," he finally whispered. She turned, allowing him to cradle her in his arms. "You don't have to. We could…" her voice trailing off along with her bravery. He sighed, and squeezed her tightly before releasing his grip on her. He stepped back, touching her at arms length. "See you on the plane."

On the plane Morgan slid into the seat next to her, flipping on his I-pod, and nodding his head in an exaggerated manner to make her laugh. She grimaced her eyes trailed to Emily settling in next to Reid and talking about the case. Ever since she had been mean to Emily over drinks, she had gone out of her way to be polite, even friendly. She was really trying to like her, really trying to respect her as a part of the team. Reid seemed to be having less trouble with this than the rest of them though. Morgan nudged her, nodding in the other's direction and shaking his head while rolling his eyes. She smiled; at least she wasn't the only one who still harbored doubts.

As they checked into the hotel, she smiled that their rooms were next to each other. Sometimes she swore she could hear him pacing, the only thing that calmed her on these trips was knowing he was that close. After a long day on the plane and with the police, they were all a little down trodden about their progress. Morgan asked J.J. to have a drink with him in the hotel lobby, and she agreed motioning for Reid to join them. "No thanks guys, I need to work out a few things. I'll see you in the morning." She blinked off her disappointment and forced a smile as Morgan slid his arm around her and lead her to the bar.

After sitting in silence for almost an hour, Morgan couldn't take it anymore. "J.J.?" As if snapped from a trance she looked at him, "Yeah?" "Just go to him. It's ok." Her mouth fell open, her head tilted slightly in confusion, "What?" He smiled and reached across the table taking her hands in his own. "It's ok, everyone is ok with it. You don't have to try to hide from us. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and frankly, we've all waited long enough for you guys to admit it." She forced herself to exhale; she hadn't realized she had been holding her breath. Acceptance swept over her face, followed by a guilty smile. "How long have you?" "Since Elle left," he replied, the pain from just saying those words written all over his face. She identified the common pain that made them a family and squeezed his hands until his smile returned. "Does everyone?" "What, you think I'm the best profiler on the team?" he scoffed, "I'm flattered, but really honey." She nodded her head. "So, just go to him already. I can't handle the sad faces much longer." She leaned across the table and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Derek," she whispered her lips still touching his face. "MMM," he said, "now that's the sex kitten I have been missing while you've been busy pouting." She laughed, slapped his arm, and walked to the elevators.

Meanwhile upstairs Reid opened his door his heart racing that she had actually come to him. "Gideon." He said clearing his throat and stepping back to allow him in. "What's up?" Gideon sat on the edge of his bed, his hands ringing themselves as their eyes met. "What's up with you Spencer?" a falsely innocent look on his face, his eyebrows raised to show interest. Spencer cleared his throat again looking at the floor. He had never lied to Gideon, and he was certain that Gideon would know the moment he did. "I'm sorry, I've been distracted lately." "I would agree that you have been. Do you know what has been distracting you?" Gideon offered his tone warm and calm, still feigning ignorance. Spencer slid both hands into his pockets as he leaned against the dresser. He said nothing; he wasn't sure where to begin. Luckily, he didn't have to. "Spencer, you love her. She loves you. There is nothing here to be ashamed of, to be hidden, to force you to doubt yourself." Reid's face snapped up, their eyes locked. "There is no rule book for this, no user's guide, but you don't need one. You love her. She loves you. No room for analysis." Spencer nodded, embarrassed by how complicated he had made things in his head. Calmed by the news that everyone really did know, and everyone really didn't hate the idea of them together. Gideon stood, rubbed Spencer's shoulder the way only a father could comfort his son, and left Spencer to catch his breath.

In the hall he passed J.J. and smiled, extending his hand to point at Spencer's room before patting her arm. She stopped in the hall and turned, watching him until he slipped into his room. She so respected the man, so loved him. She knocked on his door lightly, again holding her breath without knowing it. He leaned against the door as he opened it. He smiled, as she slid past him, her hand lingering across his stomach. He shut the door, his back pressed to it and watched as she silently slid out of her jacket and shoes. She titled her head as she smiled at him, her hands shrugging everything off. She laughed as he stepped to her; his hands cradled her face as he kissed her more passionately than he had in ages.

Her head fell back into his hands as he kissed her neck, the skin revealed above the button of her blouse, lingering on the necklace he had anonymously given her for her birthday his first year at the BAU: a silver key hanging lightly from an almost invisibly thin chain. His smile broke into light laughter as he unbuttoned her blouse and slid it off of her arms. He pulled back, and they exchanged carefree smiles. She suddenly pressed towards him, knocking him back onto the bed, letting out a shrill squeak as he shifted and pinned her beneath him. Squeals and laughter broke out as the two wrestled for control, rolling over the bed while discarding clothes and exchanging kisses.

In the next hotel room, a smile spread across Hotch's face. "Finally," he said to his empty room while he turned up the TV to drown out the noise coming through the wall.

***

"Please," she begged in her sweetest voice, her hands pulling him to her. She sat on his kitchen counter sipping her coffee and had decided to spring her idea on him when he was least equipped to fight it; before his first cup of coffee. "What? Jen, no," he said. Trying to avoid the eye contact he knew would doom him to agreement. "Please, Spence!" "Jen, I do not want to get involved in Derek Morgan's love life." She pressed her fingers to his chin, turning his face to her own. She pouted, her bottom lip sticking out, she pulled him to her and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Moving just millimeters away she cooed, "Please."

By the time Spencer Reid approached Derek Morgan in the bullpen, J.J.'s tactics almost had him believing this was his idea. "Hey man," he said, exchanging hello nods. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow evening?" Derek looked up, interested, "Not that I know of. What's up?" "Well," Spencer said, sitting on Derek's desk and picking up a paper clip to play with, "J.J. and I are going to have the team over to my place for Christmas drinks." Derek shook his head, and agreed, "Sure, count me in." "Oh," Spencer added as he walked away to his desk, "J.J. planned some kind of secret Santa thing and assigned you Garcia, ok?" Derek looked up, "OK." Spencer smiled, setting his bag and coat down before heading to J.J.'s office.

He shut the door behind him, and she smiled, hurrying to hang up the phone. "Hey!" she exclaimed, excitedly, "How'd it go?" He nodded his head yes, and she giggled with glee hurrying into his arms and kissing him sweetly. "Thanks Spence, you won't regret this, I promise." "Yeah," he shrugged, "something tells me I will, yet somehow thinking of ways for you to make it up to me, totally makes it worth it." He leaned in and kissed her again, playfully raising an eyebrow as he left her office.

She returned to her desk to put into action her share of the plan. She opened an IM.

NEWS-JEN: Busy tomorrow night?

GIFTEDPEN: Not in the slightest, what's up?

NEWS-JEN: Come to Reid's place for drinks and secret Santa.

GIFTEDPEN: Aw, is this like your coming out as a couple? Hosting a Christmas get together?

NEWS-JEN: Ha ha ha…bring a gift for Morgan; I drew his name for you.

GIFTEDPEN: If I wear a bra that has a bow on it, will that count?

NEWS-JEN: Only if you can convince him to wait to open his present until AFTER you leave. Ha ha ha

GIFTEDPEN: No fun. See you then.

J.J. shut her laptop and couldn't help but smile, she consoled the notion that she was overstepping her bounds, (something Reid had suggested,) with the fact that once the two were together, they would surely be as happy as she was with her little know it all.

It was this argument exactly she was giving a very nervous and slightly annoyed Spencer as she finished her relish tray and brought it to his coffee table. "This is a bad idea," he said again, tying his tie as he approached her. "No it isn't," she smiled, "everyone knows how they feel about each other. If someone had given us this little nudge how knows how much sooner you might have seen me naked. Now come on, please! This is going to be easy and fun." She slipped her hand around his tie and pulled him into a passionate kiss to seal her win. He rolled his eyes as he slid past her into the kitchen for a drink.

When the doorbell rang, she smiled at him before running to answer it. "Hey!" she said, cheerfully wrapping her arms around Garcia and welcoming her in. "So," she said, "this is what a genuis' house looks like, huh?" Spencer quickly hugged her and kissed her cheek, "Actually this is what a genius' house looks like after it is invaded by a sorority girl with too much Christmas cheer." Garcia laughed turning for J.J.'s imminent reply, "He loves the tree," she argued with a smile, "he just won't admit it." He took Garcia's coat and left the two women to gossip.

Garcia handed J.J. a bottle of wine and J.J. lead her to the living room to sit. As if on cue Spencer brought the two women glasses of wine and took the bottle J.J. handed him eyeing it with contempt as he returned to the kitchen. "So, where is everybody?" He heard Garcia ask as the kitchen door swung shut. The doorbell rang, and he headed to it, taking a deep breath before opening it. "Hey man," he said, offering his hand to Derek. "Hey," Derek said, shaking it and handing him another bottle of wine. Spencer offered to take his coat and sent him down the hallway towards the women. He hung the coat, and noting that the wine was from a label he didn't like, chose to slip the bottle into the entry way umbrella stand.

By the time he entered the living room with wine for Derek and himself, J.J. was spinning a story about how no one else could come because of some nasty bug going around the office, but she hadn't had the heart to cancel on them. Derek nodded a thank you for the wine, and laughed at something witty Garcia said about the less the merrier.

Over the next hour he mostly watched and refilled empty glasses while the three of them talked and laughed; only chiming in when he felt it absolutely necessary. However much he hated admitting that J.J. was right, Derek and Penelope were perfect for each other. They never hesitated to flirt or touch each other, and they were the only two people he knew who could keep the other's sarcasm in check. J.J. kept smiling at him, and despite the fact that he reminded himself he had seen her naked, a chaste smile from her even when she was wearing a turtle neck still managed to make him feel like the world was moving in slow motion.

Garcia and J.J. broke into a fit of giggles at a story Morgan was telling, and Spencer even let himself be caught up in the laughter. J.J. quietly stood, and walked over to the chair Spencer was sitting in lowering herself to his lap. She watched as Garcia and Morgan continued their conversation, and laughed hysterically at each other as though they were the only people in the room. She leaned back into Spencer and kissed his cheek, whispering in his ear, "I told you so." His fingers tightened on her side and she squeaked in laughter catching the other pair's attention. Spencer shot them both a completely innocent look, and decided to take control of the situation. "How about presents?" J.J. smiled at him. "Yes, presents." She walked over to the tree she had forced Spencer to put up and pulled two of the presents out from under it. She handed one to Derek and one to Garcia before returning to Spencer's lap.

"From both of us," he said. Derek and Garcia smiled at the two, then at each other before opening the small boxes. In Derek's box lay a beautiful black tie. When he pulled it out of the box he revealed a gift card hidden under it. "Trattoria Espada" he read. "Ooh!" Garcia cooed, "That's my favorite restaurant in D.C." Derek smiled at her then back at the couple. "Thanks guys." They nodded with smiles before returning their attention to Garcia now opening her present. From the box she pulled a beautiful long black scarf seemingly made of the same silk as Derek's new tie. Under it she found two front row tickets to a Redskins game. Derek couldn't hide his smile, "Let me know if you need someone to go with you to explain the rules." Garcia hit him, "I have brothers, and I know the rules. If you're lucky I might teach you a thing or two."

"What about the secret Santa?" Derek asked before pulling a small box out of his pocket and handing it to Garcia. She smiled, handing him the long box lying on the coffee table before them. The two laughed, and he nodded for her to go first. She gently un-taped the paper, and slid it off revealing light blue box. Inside she admired a white gold link necklace, with a small silver heart dangling from it, a diamond resting at its top. "Wow," Garcia managed blinking back tears, "No faster way to a woman's heart than through Tiffany's." She smiled at Morgan, again forgetting they weren't alone in the room and leaned in, kissing him ever so lightly on the cheek. "I love it, thank you." He smiled his very best lady killer smile, trying to hide his excitement at her response, "No problem, only the best for my girl." "Open yours!" she said to him. He tore off the paper like a two year old making everyone in the room laugh. Opening the box he found a platinum ID bracelet that read 'prince perfect'. He smiled before looking at her saying nothing, waiting for the smile that meant she understood he loved it. He leaned in, his hand slipping into her hair and pressed his lips to hers gently. When she pulled back slightly for air, she had lost track of how long they had been kissing, and for the first time noticed that they were alone in the room.

On the back deck, Spencer and J.J. leaned against the railing enjoying the soft snowfall. He admired her for a moment, wrapped in soft white chenille, how beautiful she was when she was happy. He finally gave in, "Ok, you were right, I was wrong." He smiled before adding playfully, "are you going to let me make it up to you?" She smiled, sliding her hands around his waist, "Of course." The two kissed, and laughed, kissing again. He brushed his hand down her cold cheek and stared into the blue eyes he loved so much. He held out two empty hands before placing both behind his back. "Pick a hand," he said with a mischievous smile. She giggled before slapping his right arm gently. "Ouch," he faked a pout before revealing an empty glove. She shrieked slapping his other arm, "I meant left, I meant left!" she yelped jumping up and down. He smiled, before once again revealing an empty hand. She laughed and slapped his chest. "Tease." He held a hand up, "Wait," he whispered looking at his hands, closing them together, "What's this?" Opening his hands he revealed a black velvet box. She yelped with glee and laughed at the complete look of satisfaction on his face. "You and your magic," she began to tease before reaching for the box. He pressed the lid up as her hand reached it revealing a pair of princess cut diamond earrings. She smiled up at him, before rushing into his arms and covering his mouth with her own. He snapped the box shut and returned her embrace, pulling her into him completely. Just then, they turned to see the glass door slide open enough for Derek to stick his head out. "Yeah, we're just gonna leave you two love birds alone." They heard Garcia chime in from somewhere behind him, "Thank you so much for having us over. Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas," both Spence and J.J. said as Derek slid the door shut, leaving them once again alone.

"He's so taking her home," Spencer joked forcing J.J. to laugh. "How do you know she's not taking him home?" J.J. teased poking his stomach lightly in a challenge. "Because," Spencer said, preparing himself for what he knew was coming. "Women seem much more concerned about their sheets." Her mouth dropped open; she reached to the ground and tossed a loose snowball at him. To her dismay he ducked just in time, and quickly barreled towards her, chasing her all the way to his bed.

***

He smiled, fighting off sleep, as she slid under the covers and rested her head on his chest. He lowered his face to her head, enjoying the sweet smell of her hair. His eyes fluttered, as his fingertips lightly brushed the skin exposed beneath her shirt. She giggled, "I thought you were tired." "Barely awake," he replied, "however, wanting you is a permanent condition." She giggled again, the vibrations of her whole body working their way across his chest. He smiled, "I'm never going to get a full night's sleep." This time she laughed out loud, "Oh, OK, I can let a man get some sleep," she teased pulling away from him.

He rolled after her, suddenly feeling much more awake. "Jen," he started snuggling to her back, sliding his arms around her, "Who needs sleep?" She turned to face him, their smiles meeting. His finger traced her face and pulled it to his own. "I love you." Their kiss was soft and sweet, lingering, all time lost. When his lips pulled away for breath he rested his forehead against hers. Slowly their breathing found a comfortable rhythm as his eyelids slowly won the battle for closure.

The next morning he smiled at her as she walked into her office before returning his attention to the file in front of him. The team was preparing to head to Oregon for a case, and Spencer was verifying that he was familiar with every clue in the case file that had already been gathered, checking to make sure he hadn't missed a connection. Before he knew it, she was standing by his desk, her overnight bag on her shoulder. She had to tap the back of the file before he noticed her. "Sorry," he offered sheepishly. She smiled, as he looked over to Morgan's desk. "He is saying goodbye, should we wait for him?" She nodded, setting on the edge of his desk. He slid his chair up to her, and rested his head in her lap. Instinctually her fingers slid into his hair and began to massage his scalp. "Still sleepy?"

A few feet away, hidden behind a door a similar scene was underway. He sat on her desk, her head in his lap. "This is going to be dangerous, I can feel it," she moped. He slid his fingers under her chin and directed her face to his own. "I will be fine, I'm always fine. We'll be home in a few days. We'll be home for New Year's." "You better be," she chastised, "I will get my New Year's kiss." She looked him in the eyes, making his fear the consequences should he not keep his promise. He kissed her gently, pulling back slightly until their foreheads met, "I will be home soon." He kissed her again, this time more passionately before slipping out the door leaving her breathless.

Spencer spotted him approaching and stood. J.J. hung up her cell phone and together the three walked to the elevator without saying a word. As the plane took off, Morgan uttered just loud enough for the couple sitting across from him to hear, "Let's get home for New Year's." Spencer shot him a weak smile of support, and J.J. found her conversation starter.

"Making any New Year's resolutions Hotch?" He turned to face the three younger members of the team, "More time with Jack and Haley, keep the garage clean, solve cases faster so I can spend more time with Jack and Haley, you?" J.J. laughed, "I try not to make any, I never keep them anyway. Last year I told myself I was going to the gym every day. That worked for like two weeks." Everyone laughed. Gideon chimed in, "The key is to make promises to yourself that you want to keep." "Mine should be a piece of cake then," Hotch commented, "Except maybe the one about the garage." Everyone laughed before falling into a comfortable silence. Emily sat at the other end of the plane, she still felt like an outsider in these intimate family moments. J.J. leaned her head against Spencer's shoulder before falling into a soft sleep.

Soon Derek and Spencer were the only ones awake. "Doing ok?" Spencer asked noting the tightness in Derek's face. "Yeah, just…" "What?" Spencer asked thoughtfully. Derek looked at J.J. sleeping peacefully at his side, "How do you make her stop worrying about you?" Spencer looked down at her, "She knows what we do, who I am. Garcia knows who you are too." "I know, and she does. It's just that I feel guilty about leaving her." Spencer nodded, "Maybe it's easier for us because she sees it up close." Derek scoffed, "I just, hope we make it back so I can give her that New Year's kiss." The men exchanged smiles before Derek slid his head back into his pillow and shut his eyes waiting for sleep to take him.

Three days into the case they caught a break, and discovered the identity of the killer. Still, somehow he managed to evade the police in the thousands of acres of untamed terrain. They could find no clue as to where the man was, and were further dismayed to find out that another woman was missing. The team searched endlessly, finding nothing new, getting no closer to his location. Garcia dug deep, sending them endless amounts of information. Spencer read it all and processed everything, still they had nothing. As the sun rose of the thirty first, Derek stood outside the station staring helplessly into the mountains before him. He was too focused to notice Hotch stepping up behind him. "Should we walk away?" he asked as much to the landscape as to Derek. Derek shook his head, "I'm just so frustrated. How can he be this good?" "He knows this place," Hotch responded. The vastness seemed to laugh in their faces. Suddenly the door burst open and J.J. rushed out, "Emily thinks she found him, let's go!" The men exchanged split second glances before rushing behind her.
Within an hour the team was approaching a small shack Derek, as usual lead the team up one side of the house, Spencer right behind him, as Hotch and Gideon took the other side. Their team was flanked by local field agents and p.d. but none of them were expecting what was to come. As Derek stepped onto the back porch Spencer was the first to hear the small click drawing his eyes to a wire wrapping under the porch. "Jump!" he screamed, throwing himself against another agent and pushing back. Derek reacted, trusting Spencer's words without question and flung himself away from the shack just as it the entire thing became a huge fireball. The wood hung in the air, the fire spreading outward, and the silence was deafening in the aftermath of so loud a blow. Spencer uncovered his head, and screamed, "Derek!" He pulled himself up and ran to his friend's motionless body. He turned him quickly, finding a pulse and then placing his hand over an open wound in Derek's chest in an attempt to control the bleeding. Derek fought to open his eyes, seeing Spencer, he allowed them to shut. When they blinked open again, Hotch and Spencer were over him, Hotch handing Spencer his shirt to tie quickly around him. He wanted to talk to them, tell them he was awake, as neither of them were looking at his face, but the pain was unbearable, he couldn't speak, couldn't move, and couldn't hold his eyes open.

Spencer sat alone in the hospital corridor his face resting in his bloody hands. When she turned the corner and saw him she ran to him. She fell on her knees in front of him, her hands touching his arms. He looked up at her, the tear lines down her face mimicking the ones traced with blood on his own. Her head fell to his knees, violent sobs taking over her body. He stared at the wall across from him, he couldn't touch her, the blood on his hands would contaminate her. She regained composure momentarily to look into his eyes. "I love you so much." She mouthed, not sure the words were spoken out loud. He nodded, his eyes closing to allow more tears to fall. Hotch and Gideon rounded the corner, Emily quick on their heels. When he looked up, Gideon searched his soul with his eyes. He nodded, more tears falling, blinking them away as his head turned at the sound of an opening door. Hotch and Gideon sped up, J.J. noticing his tenseness gathered herself enough to stand. Hotch soon slipped his arms around her for support. Spencer stood, looking the doctor straight in the eye. "Is," he mouthed, reminding himself to use his voice, "Is he ok?" The doctor nodded his head yes before talking, "You are his team?" Gideon took over, "We are. What can you tell us?"

The doctor nodded, looking slowly at each member of the group. "Mr. Morgan should be ok. He lost a lot of blood, but considering vital organs his wounds are more or less superficial. If you hadn't got his bleeding under control before they got to him, he would not have made it. His wounds have been cleaned and sutured. He received two pints of blood through transfusion. He is resting. You can see him if you like, but he is asking for a woman." Spencer stared at Gideon, "She is on her way," he said to Spencer's surprise. The doctor stepped back, allowing the team a moment of privacy. "J.J. can you please help Spencer get cleaned up," Spencer stared at him, shocked that his concern was focused on him, "he shouldn't see you like this. He will worry about the blood." Spencer nodded, immediately understanding. "We'll meet you in there," J.J. said, sliding her hand onto Spencer's arm and leading him to a restroom. Hotch and Gideon followed the doctor down the hall, and Emily stood frozen unsure of where her place was.

Inside the restroom she first splashed water on her own face, straightening her hair and removing the last traces of her tears. She slid off her jacket and rested it across the counter. She quickly wet a wash cloth and began with his face. His eyes stayed shut as she removed the blood that was his, dried around small cuts, and more that she realized was Derek's. She pulled his hands to the sink, washing them with her own, working her nails gently across stubborn spots to remove the blood dried in small crevices. She rolled up his sleeves to hide the majority of the stains, and wet his hair slowly using the washcloth before brushing it back with her fingers. It was only then that he could finally force himself to react, grabbing her arm. She was startled, looking immediately into his eyes. He pulled her into his arms and held her to his chest until her tears subsided. He kissed her forehead before pulling away to gather himself.

As they exited the bathroom, an older nurse waited for them and lead them to Derek without words. When the nurse stepped aside, they paused, her hand taking his, before they had the strength to join Hotch and Gideon next to his bed. He was wrapped in white gauze and hooked up to multiple IV's. It had been almost two hours since the bomb went off, but it seemed like instants to Spencer. He touched Derek's arm gently to verify the movement of breath, proving to himself that there was still life in his friend. When Spencer's fingers touched Derek's skin, his eyes fluttered open. Spencer didn't break eye contact; instead he pressed his hand to Derek's. "She's coming," he answered the unspoken question. Derek's bloodshot eyes pressed shut, and Spencer swore he squeezed his hand lightly.

Hours past, Spencer never left his side. Hotch left Gideon in the waiting room with Emily to go pick Garcia up at the landing strip. He could not and would not let a stranger be there to meet her. J.J. stood at the end of Derek's bed, her eyes trailing between the two men she loved so dearly. She held in as many tears as she could, several traveling in silence down her cheek, thinking of just how close she had come to losing them both. In this thoughtful silence the trio passed the moments which seemed like hours, the soft light over his bed breaking the darkness that surrounded them.

When she turned the corner, her eyes fell upon this scene. She could no longer deny her tears, a jagged breath alerted Spencer of her presence. He walked towards her, catching her in his arms. "He will be ok," he whispered into her hair. "He will be ok," he repeated until her breathing stabilized. She pulled back, and his fingers gently wiped away her tears. She forced a smile, and took a deep breath as she walked towards him. She brushed a hand against J.J. as she stepped to his side, shooting her a weak smile. J.J. stepped back to Spencer's open arms and the two watched in silence as she pressed her hand into his. "I'm here," she whispered. "I'm here." A single tear slid down her face, landing hot against his skin.

His eyelids lifted slowly. He fought to focus on her. "I'm here," she repeated, barely a whisper. He squeezed her hand, and somewhere in the background the group became aware of a faint countdown at the nurses station. Spencer turned slightly as Gideon's hand slid around his shoulder. Hotch stepping beside J.J. They all watched as Garcia leaned in, gently kissing his lips. She whispered in his ear, "Happy New Year." She kissed him again before adding, "As soon as you're better I'm going to kill you." He blinked twice, fighting the tears that slid down his cheeks. Spencer leaned down, kissing J.J.'s forehead. She looked up at him, their eyes locking, before she kissed him softly. Their family had closed ranks, they stood together, physically supporting one another. They approached Derek's bed as a group, his eyes appreciating the sight before him. J.J. slid her arm around Garcia, and received a smile of thanks for the comfort. She looked to Spencer, as their eyes met she mouthed "Thank you." He nodded his response. Looking at Hotch he nodded again. Only then did Hotch notice Emily standing quietly in the doorway, he had forgotten about her altogether in his fight to be there for Derek. He motioned for her to join them. She slowly stepped into the circle between Gideon and Hotch. As she looked at each member of the team she received a comforting smile, and she reached her hand to Derek's. He squeezed it lightly, as a single tear ran down her cheek. "Happy New Year," she said quietly to everyone. "May this team see many more together," Hotch added, gently patting her shoulder.

***

Supervisor Special Agent Aaron Hotchner stood looking down on the bullpen, resting his arm against the railing, listening impatiently to the hold music coming lightly from his cell phone. He had been staring off into space, trying to maintain his ever calm façade to hide his annoyance. Reid had spilt coffee on his office floor earlier in the day, and the janitor insisted this was the only time he could shampoo it to prevent staining, sending the very private man out into the bullpen. It couldn't have happened to him on a worse day, he was on hold with the daycare Haley was determined for their son to get into. Hell, just having to have an interview for his one year old to get into the day care annoyed him, but them putting him on hold for more than four minutes…he reminded himself to exhale just as a lively blonde caught his eye as she walked down the stairs; dropping a file on Morgan's desk as she passed, she then slid comfortably in front of her boyfriend and handed over his file before running her fingers through her hair as he leaned in and kissed her wrist. He couldn't help but smile as Morgan made an over-exaggerated groan, which caused both young lovers to turn their attention to him.

"Are you ok?" Reid quickly asked, concern written all over his face. "That," Derek started, "was not a moan of pain. It was a groan of disgust. You guys have to be so…" "So what?" J.J. asked, shooting him a stern look that warned him he was on thin ice. "So…" "Absolutely adorable?" Garcia chimed in as she walked over to the group. Everyone laughed, and J.J. turned, planting an overly dramatic kiss on Spencer before looping arms with Garcia and announcing that they were going to lunch and that the guys should 'behave themselves.'

Spencer shrugged his shoulders at Morgan eliciting a laugh before walking over to his friend's desk and perching on its edge. "Seriously, Derek, how are you doing?" Derek looked into Spencer's eyes. "I'm fine, thanks in large part to you. Can't wait to get off desk duty though." Spencer smiled a weak smile, "I mean, are you doing ok? If you want or need to talk about anything…" Derek tapped Spencer's arm with a file. "I'm ok Reid. I'm not her, I'm not gonna flip out and take off. You had my back out there, I know that." Spencer blushed slightly. He had been going insane with worry since Derek had left the hospital. He knew that this was a different situation. He knew that Derek wasn't Elle. Still, he blamed himself for not seeing it in her sooner, for not helping her sooner. He was determined not to lose Derek to those same demons. He eventually nodded, but couldn't stop himself from adding as he walked towards the stairs, "If you do decide you need to talk…" Derek laughed before interrupting him, "I'll hire a shrink. I don't need your charity." Spencer laughed and fired back, "Who said it'd be free? I was just gonna recommend some people, you couldn't afford a private session with me." Both men laughed, Spencer smiling and nodding at Hotch as he passed him, noticing he was using his best politician voice to talk about his son's ability to recognize shapes and colors at an early age.

Spencer stood in Gideon's doorway for a moment, watching the older man listen to music while reading the latest batch of files he had been asked to consult on. He admired the man, respected him, and maybe even loved him in the way he imagined a man was supposed to love his father. Gideon was always patient with him, never judgmental, understanding even when one of his quirks was too developed for Gideon to comprehend. The truth was he had already attempted to get advice from every other member of their team, but he had known all along that Gideon would be the one with the answer he needed. If anyone could help him without making him feel ridiculous, Gideon could.

Taking a deep breathe, he knocked lightly on the doorframe. Gideon's always approving eyes meeting his and inviting him in without words. Gideon pressed the button on the remote that silenced the music as Spencer quietly shut the door behind him. "What can I do for you?" Gideon patiently asked the young man obviously fighting to find the words to vocalize his problem. "I need some advice." Gideon nodded, and Spencer continued. "Some advice about women, well, one woman, well, you know, J.J." "OK," Gideon responded, attempting to hide his smile. "OK, so it's almost Valentine's Day, and I have never had to worry about this holiday. I mean, I send my mom flowers, but I've never had to impress a woman." Gideon held in his laughter, "OK, so…" Spencer looked up at him, "So…what would be an appropriate gesture to show her how I feel about her?" "To show her that you love her," Gideon completed the statement. "Yes, to show her that I love her." Gideon laughed lightheartedly.

"Gifts?" Gideon asked. "I have that covered; Derek and I are sending her and Garcia to a spa. What I need to know is what I can DO to show her that I..." Gideon laughed again, "love her. You love her Spencer." Spencer nodded as if prepared to take notes, "Yes" he answered matter of factly. "Do you really think it is such a hard thing to woo a woman who is already in love with you?" Spencer blushed, "I just want her to know," "She knows," Gideon interrupted, "you don't have to bring a girl the moon to let her know that you would if she wanted it. You just have to remind her why she loves you. The easiest way to do that is by letting her know why you love her." Spencer nodded, "OK, so I just have to tell her I love her?" "Great idea," Gideon said, pressing play on his remote and returning his attention to the folders. Spencer smiled, "Thanks," he almost whispered as he slid out of the chair and out into the hallway. Jason set down the file looking after him, proud of how much the young man had grown since he met him. He laughed again, and then proceeded with his work.

So far, this hadn't been the day she had planned. J.J. had managed to spill coffee on her red suede pumps on the train, ruining the look she had worked so hard to perfect for him. She had planned the outfit, her hair, her make-up, everything so that when he saw her he would remember why he loved her. Yet when he saw her in the elevator landing he had probably only noticed how rough she looked, stained shoe and all. They had both been busy with separate work issues all morning, but she had been determined to salvage the day. She had attempted to get his attention via text and IM but by lunch no one seemed to know where he was. She slumped into her desk chair, pulling off her heel to survey the damage more closely, and almost felt like shedding a tear. She was in love, she was young, it was Valentine's day, and she was miserable. She dropped her head onto her desk and let out a loud groan, which was followed immediately by a ding from the laptop her head rested on.

She sat up, flipped it open and clicked on the new email;

The thing is, Valentine's Day has become a sort of cultural phenomenon. Well, actually the thing is Valentine's Day has become a commercial excuse to reassure the people in our society that they are loved, that they belong. Sometimes, however, rituals like these only serve to make some members of society feel more isolated and alone. This is the only experience I have ever had with this holiday; perhaps that's why I have failed so horribly to provide you with an amazing day of frivolity and courtship beautiful women are accustomed to. The truth is I thought of a thousand things I could buy you, a thousand places I could take you, and everyone on the team suggested something wonderful that I could do with you: Things you see in movies, read about it books, things that according to Garcia all little girls dream of. But watching you walk around the office all day with a look of defeat plastered across your face made me realize that we don't need people to tell us they love us any more today than we do any other day. We need to know that we belong, that we are loved, all the time. I believe that maybe love isn't built of extraordinary memories, but instead with a lifetime pursuit of happy normalcy. That perhaps the complete feeling of contentment when something is simply right is what happily ever after really is. Seeing you sad, (and from what I understood from Garcia the main cause is the untimely loss of a shoe?) immediately made me long for the comfortable happiness you always bring to my life. It made me need to thank you because I know I belong with you, and I know you love me, and for the first time in my life, Valentine's day isn't about sappy diamond commercials interrupting the news or walking home with an empty red crape paper box. I realize now that it's about celebrating my constant desire to make you smile (especially when you are sad about a ruined high heel,) and by far the great joy of my life that I've found the woman 'the glass slipper' fits perfectly. I love you.

A tear fell from her eye, and the sound of her office door clicking into place tore her from the screen. He stood before her, his hands behind his back, resting against the door just looking at her. She wiped away the tear and held up her shoe, "It's ruined," she sobbed, unable to say anything that made more sense. He smiled as he stepped over to her side. He knelt on the floor next to her, swiveling her chair to face him. He gently pulled the shoe from her hand and placed it aside. His other hand slid from behind his back, and he opened a white box. Her hands covered her mouth as he slid out a pair of red heels exactly like the ones she had been wearing and slid them onto her feet. "All better," he assured, meeting her gaze with a slight smile.

"You spent lunch on Valentine's Day running around D.C. trying to find me these shoes?" He smiled, standing and leaning against her desk, "Not really. I had Garcia find them and have the clerk hold them, I just fought the crowds to get them here." She started to laugh hysterically, and he couldn't help but be swept in it with her. Her laughter turned back to tears as she rested her hand on his knee. His face sought hers for meaning, "I hate these shoes," she whispered through a mixture of laughter and tears. Spencer's face went blank, he had never been more annoyed, Garcia had assured him it was the ruined heel that was making J.J. have such a bad day. She reached down and slid them off. "I hate these shoes. They are so uncomfortable, but they were expensive and they are beautiful, and I wanted to look beautiful for you." Her tears fell lightly down her face. Spencer wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, so when she stood and slid her body into his he forced himself to just enjoy how perfectly she fit in his arms.

He held her for what seemed like an eternity as she ushered out her last tears with laughter, and when she pulled back far enough to look into his face she mouthed, "I love you." He laughed, smoothing back her hair, and wiping away the tear lines on her delicate face before planting a soft but lingering kiss on her lips. "I know nothing about women, and I'll admit that I'm not the average man, but I assure you, your beauty has nothing to do with slipping on $400 shoes, I mean maybe slipping off your dress, but the shoes have nothing to do with it." She giggled as she buried her head in his chest, "I had to save something for tonight." She slid back into his arms, a smile shared in silence, knowing that this was simply right.

***

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