Title: Like Vines
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 20_est_relships
Prompt: 2, Surprise
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Spencer looked up as Hotch came into his office; the young man had been waiting there for the last ten minutes, wondering why he'd been called into the room. The rest of the team was probably wondering, too, but none of them had said anything.
What was Hotch doing, not being here when he'd specifically called Spencer into his office? Try as he might, he couldn't think of anything that he'd done wrong lately; maybe this was something of a more personal nature, and Hotch was having a hard time figuring out what to say.
Spencer couldn't help twisting his hands in his lap, his teeth catching his lower lip as he glanced at the door of his boyfriend's office. What was he doing here? Why had Hotch called him in? Could he be ready to say the words that Spencer dreaded hearing?
"I can't be with you any more, Spencer. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is."
He'd heard those words in his dreams ever since the two of them had first admitted their feelings for each other; he'd been terrified that someday they would become an actuality and not just part of a dream world that he could make himself wake up from.
Sitting back in the chair, he tried to calm himself; there was no sense in getting upset before Hotch had even come into the room. This might not be what he thought it was at all; maybe Hotch just wanted to make plans for the upcoming weekend.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes -- just as the door to the office opened and Hotch stepped inside, closing the door behind him again and going to sit down behind his desk. Spencer straightened up in the chair, clearing his throat nervously and shifting uneasily.
"Spencer, calm down." Hotch's voice was quiet, his gaze steady as he looked at his young lover. "I'm not going to say anything you don't want to hear. You haven't done anything wrong. I just have something that I need to tell you. It's probably important that you know."
"What is it?" Spencer asked, his voice sounding dim and far away to his own ears. He hated the way his words trembled on the air; it was obvious that he was worried -- even terrified -- of what Hotch had to say. His voice was shaking like a child's.
His hands were on the edge of Hotch's desk; the other man reached out to take one hand in his own, squeezing it gently and not letting go. "Spencer, don't look so scared. I can tell what you're thinking. We're okay. It's nothing like that."
Spencer released a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes for just a moment before opening them again to focus on the man sitting across the desk from him. "That's good," he manged to say. "I was scared that you were going to let me down easy."
"What?" Hotch looked surprised, his dark eyes widening for a moment. "No! That's never going to happen If we had some kind of personal problem, I'd never bring it up with you here in the office. At least, not if it was something that serious."
"Then what is it?" Spencer asked, feeling more settled on firm ground now that he knew Aaron wasn't going to say that they had to break up, or anything of the sort. "I'm guessing it's something to do with the personal side of our lives, since you brought me in here."
"It is." Hotch looked down at his desk for a few moments, shuffling a few papers around as though he didn't want to say what he'd called Spencer in here to tell him. Finally, he looked up, his dark gaze locking with Spencer's, his expression worried.
"Haley knows."
"She knows about us?" Spencer was surprised by Hotch's words; of all the things that he'd thought his boyfriend would have to tell him, that hadn't been one of them. He'd thought that they had been careful about keeping their relationship under wraps.
"Yes." Aaron sighed, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. "Jack told her that you were sleeping over at my place, and she managed to put two and two together. I should have known she would. My ex-wife isn't stupid, and I think she already had her suspicions."
"Did she know that you were interested in me before ....?" Spencer let his words trail off, not quite sure how to phrase the thoughts in his head. He had thought that Haley would have no idea of how he felt about Hotch; apparently, the woman had a sixth sense.
"I think she did," Aaron said softly, without opening his eyes. "I think she could always sense that there were sparks between us. Especially after everything that happened with Tobias Hankel -- she could tell that what I went through was more than just the thought of losing one of my team."
Spencer nodded, thinking back to that time and wincing inwardly. That was when he had first let his dormant feelings for Hotch come to the surface and wrap around his life like clinging vines, admitting to those feelings and fully embracing them.
"I knew I loved you then," Hotch whispered, finally opening his eyes and meeting Spencer's level gaze again. "I just couldn't say it. I was still with her -- and I did want to try to make things work, if only for Jack's sake, even though I knew they wouldn't."
"So what do we do now?" Spencer asked, his voice quiet, almost flat. The only thought in his mind was that Aaron would ask him to stop coming over, that their nights together had to come to an end. Just to pacify a woman he was no longer married to.
But Aaron was shaking his head, his voice clear and decisive when he spoke.
"No," he said, the single word seeming to reverberate in the room. "No. I'm not going to let her tell me how to live my life. I'm not married to her now, and I'm not going to live my life according to her principles. I'm not going to let someone else control me."
Spencer couldn't help thinking that Hotch's words were directed as much at Foyet as at Haley; he knew that the other man had felt the shadow of Foyet lying over him for a while now, and he wanted to rid Hotch of that shadow as much as the other man did.
"How did she let you know that she'd found out?" Spencer asked, puzzled by the logistics of how she could have let Hotch know about her discovery. "She didn't call you, did she? That wouldn't be safe, for either her or Jack."
"No." Hotch shook his head, sighing again. "She wrote me a letter, and Sam managed to get it to me. It was ... disconcerting, to say the least. She's 'disappointed' in me. She never could easily admit that love didn't differentiate between genders."
"Well, who you love is none of her business," Spencer said firmly. This time, he was the one who reached out to take the other man's hand, twining their fingers together and squeezing lightly. "The only tie between you is Jack."
And the past, a voice in the back of his head told him. Haley would always share a past with Hotch, a past that Spencer couldn't touch. A past that he hadn't been a part of. Those were memories that he had no place in, a part of the man he loved that he couldn't touch.
But he wasn't going to think about that now. It didn't matter. What mattered was that Hotch didn't feel guilty about "disappointing" his former wife, and that he was able to go on with his life without feeling that he was doing something wrong by loving a man.
"You and I aren't wrong."
Aaron's voice rang out in the quiet office, his gaze still fixed on Spencer's face. "I don't care what she, or anyone else, might have to say. Loving you is the right thing for me, Spencer. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't feel so at peace when I'm with you."
"I hope I'll be able to keep bringing you that peace for the rest of our lives," Spencer told him, feeling choked up again. "I'll do my best, anyway," he added, trying to smile. It was hard to bring a smile to his face when he felt near tears.
"I know you will," Aaron told him, squeezing his hand again before letting go. "And I'll do the same. It'll be easier for both of us once we catch Foyet and our lives can go back to normal. If you can call the sort of lives we lead 'normal' in any sense of the word."
"Our lives definitely aren't normal -- but I wouldn't change them," Spencer said quietly as both men stood up. "If anything was different, then I might not have met you -- and that would be the biggest tragedy that could possibly happen in my life."
Aaron leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss across his lips, not answering. But Spencer didn't need an answer, not in words. That kiss told him that the other man felt exactly the same -- and that their lives would be entwined like vines for a very long time to come.***
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