Title: Wrapped in Wishes
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Spencer Reid/Ethan Delacroix
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Spoilers for the Criminal Minds episode "Jones". I've also taken the liberty of creating a last name for Ethan, as his last name wasn't revealed on the show.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Spencer Reid or Ethan Delacroix, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Spencer sank back against the cushions of the comfortable couch in his living room, his gaze fixed on the door of the bathroom. Ethan was in the shower; after all the exertion of moving his belongings into this apartment, he'd wanted to clean up.
Ethan had refused to let Spencer help as much as he'd wanted to; he had seemed to feel guilty about being here, as though he was somehow intruding in Spencer's home. Spencer didn't want him to feel that way -- after all, he wanted Ethan to be here.
He couldn't stand the thought of having the man he was so drawn into staying in a hotel, even if it was a nice place and was only six blocks away from his own apartment. It didn't feel right to know that Ethan was so close to him, yet still so far away.
If he'd let Ethan stay in that hotel, then he would have tossed and turned all night, imagining Ethan alone in a hotel room, in bed by himself; he'd have let his imagination run wild, imagining Ethan naked, touching himself, crying out in pleasure when he came ....
Spencer shook his head, his eyes widening and a blush suffusing his cheeks as he pushed those prurient thoughts away. He shouldn't be thinking of Ethan like that; yes, they had confessed to feeling a mutual attraction to each other, but that was as far as it had gone.
He still felt a little strange knowing that Ethan had been just as attracted to him for all these years. He would never have thought that he was the kind of person Ethan would be attracted to -- or that Ethan would be into guys at all.
Miraculously, he was -- and somehow, he returned the feelings that Spencer had always harbored for him. It was a little hard for him to wrap his head around that, Spencer thought, even though he felt deliriously happy with that knowledge at the same time.
What was going to happen between them? He had no idea, but he was sure that at some point, they were going to become lovers. He couldn't imagine having Ethan living here in his home and the two of them not sharing a bed and making love at some point.
That was what he wanted -- what he'd always wanted. Every time he'd been with anyone, he'd always felt that he was with the wrong person, that they were nothing compared to the man he truly wanted to give himself to. Ethan had always been there, in the back of his mind.
Strangely enough, he had no problem being the aggressor with Ethan, though he'd always been shy and constrained with other people. He wanted to be the more dominant partner; he wanted to have Ethan under him, to make love to him, to ....
This wasn't what he should be thinking about right now, Spencer told himself with a soft sigh. He should be concentrating on how to make Ethan feel comfortable here, not on what he wanted to do to the man once the lights were low and they were alone.
Would they end up being lovers? He didn't have to ask himself the question to already know the answer. Of course they would. They obviously wanted each other; it was only a matter of time before they were naked in each other's arms.
Somehow, the proposition didn't seem frightening at all, not with Ethan. It might have been scary if he hadn't known that Ethan wanted him; just knowing that he was desired made his apprehensions all melt away. Ethan wanted him, even loved him. That was all that mattered.
And he certainly wanted Ethan. Just the thought of Ethan naked in the shower, only a few feet away from him, with nothing but a doorway and a shower curtain separating the two of them, made Spencer's body tighten with desire in a way that nothing else ever had.
This was what he had always wanted, ever since he'd first met Ethan. He had always wanted to be close to him; he'd been devastated any time that Ethan had chosen other friends over him. He'd struggled not to let those feelings of abandonment take over and make him feel unwanted.
But they had, no matter how much he'd tried to keep them at bay. He'd spent a lot of nights crying into his pillow, wishing that Ethan was sitting there beside him, stroking his hair, telling Spencer that he was the most important person in Ethan's life.
Every memory he had of Ethan, from the time that they were children and all through their teenage and college years, had been wrapped in wishes. The biggest, most prominent wish of his life had always been to have Ethan love him back -- a wish that he'd never thought would come true.
"Hey." Spencer's head jerked up, his dark eyes widening as he realized that Ethan was out of the shower and standing close to the couch. He was wearing nothing but a towel, the upper half of his body exposed to Spencer's unwavering gaze.
He had never seen anyone look so good in nothing but a towel. He'd seen Ethan partially unclothed before, but they'd both been teenagers at the time. He hadn't fully appreciated that body -- or realized the desire that rose in him at the sight of that bare skin.
His gaze traveled up Ethan's flat stomach, to his smooth chest, up to the broad shoulders and muscular biceps. When his gaze finally settled on Ethan's face, he was startled to realize that the other man had shaved; the beard and mustache that he'd sported in New Orleans were gone.
Now that he could see the other man's features more clearly, he was struck by how handsome Ethan was. He was a good-looking man even with the facial hair, but those sharp, chiseled cheekbones and strong jawline were even more evident without it.
He'd always thought that Ethan had the most beautiful mouth he'd ever seen; just looking at those full, sensual lips made him want to pull Ethan into his arms and kiss him breathless. But he held himself back, merely giving the other man a tremulous smile.
"Hey yourself." He moved over on the couch so Ethan could sit down next to him; it was going to be hard to keep himself from touching that gorgeous body, but he would hold himself back from doing so. Well, he would unless Ethan made some kind of move towards him.
If that happened, then all bets were off. He'd wanted Ethan too much for too long to keep holding back if he had any kind of encouragement. If Ethan made it clear that he wanted to be touched, or kissed, or anything else, then Spencer would be only too glad to comply.
"Thanks for letting me stay here," Ethan said softly as he sat down, turning that dark gaze on Spencer. "I really didn't want to stay in a hotel any longer than I had to. Finding a place in DC isn't going to be easy when I don't really know the best places to look."
"Ethan, would you .... would you consider looking for a place for both of us?" Spencer asked, surprising himself with his own words. "This apartment is really kind of small for two people, and I think we'd be more comfortable with a larger one."
It was Ethan's turn to blink at him; the other man looked startled, his dark eyes widening at Spencer's words. "Y-you want me to move in with you?" he asked. "Just like that? Spencer, I haven't even been staying here for a whole day yet."
Spencer nodded, his voice strong and determined when he spoke again. "Now that I've found you again, I'm not going to let you go, Ethan. I'm tired of being alone, and I think you are, too. This is a second chance for us, so I'm going to grab onto it with everything I've got."
"So am I," Ethan said softly, leaning towards Spencer, his dark eyes intent on the other man's face. "I just want you to be sure that this is what you really want. I've heard that living with a musician isn't the easiest thing in the world. I can get caught up in my music."
"I doubt that living with an FBI profiler is easy, either," Spencer said softly, a wry smile quirking his lips. "But what do you want us to do, Ethan? Live in separate places, and then spend most of our free time together? I don't think we'd be happy with that after a while."
Spencer knew in his heart that he wouldn't be happy unless Ethan was here with him; somehow, he couldn't help feeling that there was some dark threat looming over Ethan, and that he would be a lot safer if he was living with someone who had ways of keeping him protected.
He couldn't say exactly why he felt that way; maybe it was just some kind of sixth sense that he had, or maybe he was just trying to fulfill one of the many wishes he'd always had for a relationship with Ethan. Maybe this was his way of making that wish a reality.
"I'm more than willing to give it a try -- if you're sure that it's what you want," Ethan said softly, his gaze still locked with Spencer's. "I don't want to disrupt your life, Spencer. And I don't want you to have any regrets. We've both got enough of those already."
"I could never regret having you with me," Spencer said softly, leaning forward to take Ethan's hand in his. When their lips met, the kiss was gentle, almost tentative, a soft brushing of lips that left both of them wanting more, but neither of them knowing quite how to ask for it.
"I'd better go get dressed," Ethan said after an awkward pause, releasing Spencer's hands and getting to his feet. "I'm not working tonight, so can I take you out to dinner? It's something I should have done when I saw you again in New Orleans."
Spencer nodded, swallowing hard, feeling disappointed that the kiss hadn't led to something more. That was another wish that he wanted to make come true -- he'd always wanted to take Ethan into his arms and kiss him until they were both dizzy with desire, and he never had.
This was yet another chance that he'd let slip through his fingers. But they were living together now, he realized with a slight feeling of shock. He would have the rest of his life to kiss Ethan; there was no reason for them to rush, not if Ethan wasn't ready for that.
"That sounds great," he managed to say, wondering what would happen after dinner. Was that just going to be a prelude to their time together? Or would they dance around each other for a little while longer before they finally admitted what they both wanted?
It didn't matter, Spencer told himself as he got to his feet. Ethan was here now, and they were going to be living together. There was no need to hurry; they had all the time in the world. And maybe waiting just a little longer would make their finally coming together even better.
"Let me jump in the shower and change, and then I'll let you take me out to a really nice restaurant," he told Ethan, gratified to see that his words brought a smile to the other man's face. "And while we're out, we can pick up one of those apartment rental magazines."
"Sounds good to me," Ethan told him, his eyes still on Spencer. It was as though he didn't want to look away, as though all of his wishes and desires were wrapped up with Spencer and he didn't want to let them go for even a single moment.
He knew exactly how Ethan felt, Spencer thought as he made his way to the bathroom and closed the door. He could only hope that their wishes would come true soon, and that any new wishes that they came up with were ones that they would create together.***
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