Previous part of Actions Speak Louder than Words.

***

"Hotchner." Was the tired response that emitted itself from Hotch's mouth. It was 6:30, and he was already up, but he was not used to getting calls this early.

"What? Okay. I'll be right there." Hotch said.

'Damnit.' He hurried out of his room quickly. He contemplated getting someone else, especially Gideon, but he didn't think anyone else would be up and ready yet. Hotch then headed towards the hospital.

"Hi, I'm agent Hotchner. You called about a kidnapping possibly relating to our case."

He was talking to another local cop, which royally pissed him off. A judge finally got some sense into Stanten's head by agreeing completely with the BAU, and even threatening Stanten with his job because he tried to 'impede a federal investigation'. Not that it mattered anymore; they were now back to square one.

"Yeah. I knew about the kidnappings that had been happening lately, and then we found this note." The cop said. "We couldn't figure it out. Some of the words are jibberish almost, and out of place. We figured it would be best to call you guys."

"Well, this is different." Hotch said examining the letter.

'Jesus Krest entered the world 2000 years ago, forever inpacting Socail Studis. Ancient Histoy remembers hm becauce of his profound inpact.'

On the back, he saw many lines that appeared crooked and off. He couldn't determine their importance or significance. The letter was confusing him even more.

"Who was the girl?" Hotch asked.

"Kristy Aden." Hotch's head snapped up.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah. This was her room, and she was not in it this morning." The cop said.

"What all did you find?" Hotch asked.

"Well, for physical evidence, we found nothing. There was another man in the room, but he may have wandered in. He was out of it, on some drug or another." The cop replied.

"Excuse me?" Hotch asked.

"All these people aren't around to visit sick people at 7 on a Friday morning. We made a huge bust last night. Druggies are everywhere, we figured one slipped away and ended up in her room. She probably was gone before he came. He didn't have ID, but because he wasn't even responding. They checked him in." The cop replied.

Hotch felt sick. Heiden made his bust, and here their witness was missing.

Hotch sighed. He pulled out his cell phone to call Gideon.

"Gideon."

"We have a problem. Kristy got snatched."

"What?"

"I know. I'm here at the hospital. He didn't leave anything, but a note."

"She was snatched from the hospital?" Gideon asked, utterly stunned.

"Can you round everyone up? Just go to the station, there's not a lot to do here." Hotch replied.

"Yeah. We'll be there in 15 minutes."

Hotch hung up his phone.

He entered the room. Her bed was messy; she was quickly forced to leave.

'He usually has drugs. He couldn't have done that here. They would have noticed her being dragged.'

"Uh, they just found that her street clothes are missing." The cop told Hotch.

'Which means he walked her out and they aren't being noticed.' Hotch thought. 'Probably held a gun to her.'

He stared around the room, but no clues remained. He looked at the strange note again, but it was to no avail. Nothing told him where Kristy was. He looked at his watch, and saw the team would be at the station by now.

"Gideon."

"Hey. Put me on speaker."

"Okay, you're on."

"Okay, from what I can determine, this time, he walked her out, possibly with a weapon to her back. Her street clothes are gone, so they won't be noticed if he's discreet enough." Hotch said.

"When do they think this happened?" Morgan asked.

"Uh, according to the report, bed checks happen at 10, 2, 5, and 7:30 for breakfast. It was reported at five, so sometime between 2 and 5." Hotch replied.

"That's a three hour window. Plenty of time to get in force her out quietly, and leave." Morgan said.

"If you know the hospital." Emily said. "It points to the unsub. If he is a hospital employee, he would know how to work around the time checks, sneak in, and sneak out."

"Good." Hotch said.

"What did you say about a note?" Gideon inquired.

"Oh yeah, he left a note. It's nonsense, I think I know what it says but there are errors everywhere. Reid can you analyze it?" Hotch asked.

"Isn't he with you?" JJ asked quizzically.

"No. I came alone. Why?"

There was a pause.

"Hotch, Reid's not here." Morgan said quietly.

Déjà vu crept over the team as they realized they were once again in the same situation as a month ago.

"Where was he last?" Hotch demanded.

"He was at the hospital." Emily said.

"Did he come back?" JJ asked.

"I thought he did last night." Morgan said. "I thought he got up early and was doing something because Gideon woke me up."

"I'm coming down." Hotch said. He hung up his cell phone.

"What could have happened?" JJ asked. No one could believe that Reid was gone again.

"I thought I heard him last night." Morgan repeated to himself guiltily.

"What are we going to do?" Gideon asked.

Everyone was silent for a minute.

"Guys, I hate to ask this, but what if he left?" Emily asked quietly.

Everyone turned to stare at her.

"Like ran?" Morgan asked.

"Well, you never know. I mean, it's possible." Emily said.

"No, not Reid." Gideon said.

"Do we know that?" Emily asked defensively.

"Yes, we do." JJ said defiantly. She was on the verge of tears and she didn't know if it was because of Reid's disappearance or Emily's question.

"Reid wouldn't do that, especially in a foreign area." Morgan insisted. "You should know that Emily."

"Well, I don't know any of you that well. I don't know what you will do and not do." Emily said her voice rising.

"What are you talking about?" Morgan asked.

A fight then erupted between Morgan, JJ and Emily. They were too absorbed to notice that Gideon had answered his cell phone.

"Enough." He finally said after hanging up. "For all we know, the unsub may have planned to create this sort of tension between us. He's got us unnerved now. This isn't going to help Reid. It's just going to aid the unsub in distracting us so we don't find him." Gideon was yelling at the three now.

The all shared looks of shame. They knew it was foolish to quarrel with each other, especially when a member of their team was down.

"Hotch asked us come down to the hospital." Gideon said as he got ready to leave.

"We need to see agent Hotchner" Gideon said to the nurse at the front desk.

"Follow me." She replied.

She took them down a hallway.

"Emily," Morgan whispered. "Didn't Reid go in the opposite direction yesterday?"

Emily had to think for a moment. They had seen Reid go to Kristy's room before they left.

"Yeah, I think you're right." She whispered back.

Morgan got a look of horror on his face.

"Hotch." Gideon greeted him when the reached the room he waiting in front of.

"Hey." Hotch said quietly. He was slightly pale.

"What happened?" Gideon tried to ask, but was interrupted by a nurse exiting the room.

"Here you go." She said, and she gave him a vile of blood.

"Hotch, what you want that for?" Morgan asked.

"Guys, Reid-" Hotch began.

"Oh my gosh." JJ whispered. She looked through the window of the hospital room and the sight shocked her.

Reid was in the hospital bed, unconscious with an oxygen cannula in his nostrils.

Morgan opened the door and went it, not caring if there were any protests from the others. JJ followed suit and as did Emily.

"Hotch, what? How?" Gideon asked quietly.

"They found an unconscious man in the bathroom of Kristy's room. They assumed he walked off from the group of people busted for drugs because he was unconscious when they found him. But then as I was leaving, they said he was drugged. I figured that if I checked it out quick; see if it would be helpful in finding the unsub or Reid." Hotch replied quietly.

"Why didn't you say something over the phone?" Gideon asked,

"I didn't want to say it." Hotch replied.

"Say what?"

"That Reid had been taken down… again." Hotch replied. "This is twice, in four weeks, that we've had to put Reid in the hospital because of work."

"Hotch, you didn't cause this." Gideon said. "The unsub did. Why did you ask for a vile of blood?"

"Because I'm sending it to Garcia." Hotch said adamantly.

"Why? They can test it here." Gideon said.

"But not for hours. The bust happened last night. There's only two machines here to use, and other people have precedent over Reid because they're sicker. They think some kids ingested lethal amounts of who knows what drugs. According to the doctor, Reid will be probably be okay, as long as he wakes up soon." Hotch said.

"Hotch, if the doctor feels that he'll be okay, we don't need to send it to Garcia." Gideon said.

"Jason, I'm sending it because Reid deserves it." Hotch said firmly. He turned and started to walk out the door.

"Aaron, talk to me." Gideon said. "What's wrong?"

"Other than the fact that Reid's in the hospital, nothing." Hotch said.

"Hotch, it isn't normal for you to be this upset. What's wrong?" Gideon repeated.

"Maybe I decided it was time to not stick to the profile." He turned and went back out. Gideon sighed and went into the room.

JJ and Morgan were on either side of Reid. JJ was clutching his hand while Emily stood back.

"Where's Hotch?" She asked.

"He had to go send something." Gideon said quietly.

"Did he tell you what the doctors said?" Morgan asked.

"He was drugged." A female doctor walked into the room. "Didn't see this right away, but you can't do this by yourself."

She walked promptly over to Reid and moved his head enough for everyone to see the needle mark on his neck.

"Are you his doctor?" Gideon asked.

"Yes. Who are you?" She asked.

"SSA Gideon."

"I'm sorry we didn't call you earlier. We didn't know he was FBI until your other agent identified him." She replied.

"He had no ID at all?" Emily asked. "No gun or anything?"

The doctor shook her head.

"He was found in the bathroom passed out. He's been unresponsive since." She replied.

"Is he going to be okay?" JJ asked.

"As far as I can tell. I'll feel better when I know what got put in him, but so far, the only thing I can notice different is that he is having a slightly lower respiratory rate and his blood pressure is also a little low." She said.

"Both are symptoms of Rohypnol." Gideon said.

"Most likely same guy then." Morgan said.

"Then why Reid? If he took all the other girls, why did he leave Reid?" Emily asked.

"Because he wanted Kristy." Gideon said. "And to get to her, Reid had to be taken out. There was no need to take him with."

"But he left the note." JJ said. "Why now? This is the eighth time he's taken a girl."

"Could be a sign of remorse." Emily said. "Maybe he wants us to catch him because he's starting to feel guilty."

"We'll have to examine it without Reid." Gideon said. "Is there anything we need to be looking out for?" He asked the doctor.

"It's best that he wakes up in the next few hours. Once he does, get a nurse or doctor. If he suddenly has more trouble breathing, or something feels really wrong, get a nurse." She replied. "Until he wakes up, there's nothing I can do."

"So we wait." Gideon said.

Everyone stared down at Reid, who appeared to be sleeping.

Hotch returned and they began to work on who would do this. Everyone tried to make sense of the note, but nothing came to them.

Since the hospital was where the unsub worked, they decided to look around. Everyone volunteered to stay with Reid, but JJ won in the end.

She had been sitting in the same spot holding his hand for an hour and a half. He still hadn't stirred.

'Come on, Spence. Wake up.' She thought furiously. Her mind kept flashing back to Georgia immediately after they rescued Reid from Tobias.

In Georgia, all the doctors were worried about was hydrating Reid. He had been through two and half days with hardly anything to drink or eat. JJ hated going to the hospital. No matter what Reid told her, she felt guilty. She felt it was her fault that Reid was there in the first place.

Her mind then began to go back to her first date with Reid, which caused her to laugh outwardly. He had been so cute at the Redskins game. JJ was trying to not lose her patience at explaining the game to him. She couldn't believe that for once, she knew something more than he did, even if it was just football.

Afterwards, they went out to eat and there wasn't one moment where they weren't talking. She was so comfortable with him. They would have gone out more times, but Reid wasn't comfortable with it. They had remained close, but nothing serious had happened.

"Come on Spence." She whispered. The door opened quietly behind her and Morgan appeared at her side.

"Hey, how's it going?" Morgan asked.

"Okay, but he's not awake yet. How's everything going out there?" JJ asked.

"We don't have anything. We've tried going by Kristy's lead, but we got nothing. We tried going by the profile, and still nothing." Morgan said. He pulled up a chair next to hers.

"Hotch sent a blood sample to Garcia." Morgan said. "She'll get it soon."

"Good." JJ said quietly. She wasn't really thinking about why Hotch would do this. All she was thinking about was the last few weeks.

"JJ, something up? I mean, other than this." Morgan said looking at Reid, wishing that he would wake up.

"What? No. I'm fine." JJ replied.

She wasn't about to admit to Morgan how little she had been sleeping the last few weeks, feeling guilt-ridden and afraid. Nightmares kept coming back to her. She couldn't sleep after seeing images of Reid hurt worse by Tobias or something else terrible happening to him. On her better nights, it was only the dogs that came back to visit her.

"You sure? You've seemed off the last few weeks." Morgan tried again.

"I've been a little bit more stressed than usual, that's all." JJ replied. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." She said with a smile.

Morgan was about to ask again, but his cell phone rang.

'Saved by the ringtone.' JJ thought.

"Morgan."

"Okay, I'm analyzing this blood, and what do you know, the DNA analysis popped up kind of quickly. Why the hell am I analyzing Reid's blood?" Garcia asked Morgan.

"Hotch didn't say anything?"

"All I got was a vile of blood and a note to analyze it. What's wrong with Reid?" Garcia asked again.

"Penelope, it's going to be all right. Reid's in the hospital, but he's okay." Morgan said.

"Don't try that with me buster. Tell me everything. What happened?"

"He was drugged, most likely by the same unsub. We need to know what he used, which is why we sent the blood to you." Morgan said, hoping the flattery might placate her a bit.

"Okay. I have it set up so once I know, the results will be faxed to the hospital emergency room." Garcia said after a few moments of silence.

"How soon?" Morgan asked.

"It could be ten, twenty minutes yet."

"Okay, Garcia, let me call the Gideon and Hotch first." Morgan said.

He quickly put the message out.

"Okay, we have Etomidate, Rohypnol, and Hydromorphone." Reid's doctor said.

It was 20 minutes later. Gideon, Hotch, Morgan, and Emily were standing the waiting room talking to the doctor as they waited for the results.

"What's that?" Morgan asked.

"A different form of heroin." The doctor replied. "Most likely Dilaudid. It's the most common form."

"Where have we heard that before?" Hotch asked. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't place it.

"Tobias was once a user." Emily said quietly.

Everyone exchanged dark looks at the mention of the name.

"But why add that now? I mean, he knew that the Etomidate and Rohypnol worked fine with the other girls." Morgan said.

"Because Kristy got away. He thought he needed something stronger to keep her down." Gideon said.

"Well, the dosing is quite strange. He used a full dose of Rohypnol, a huge dose of Etomidate, and one and a half doses of Dilaudid. This would be more than enough to get a person down within in moments, and because of the Dilaudid, keep them down for 7-8 hours." The doctor said.

"Well, going by the later end, the unsub would need at least a half hour to drug Reid, hide him, and get Kristy to leave, most likely more. The unsub was there at least by 4:30. Probably earlier." Hotch said.

Morgan and Gideon nodded their heads.

"Well then, if it's 9:45 now, your agent should wake up in the hour and half to two hours. If he doesn't, I can reverse the Dilaudid or the Rohypnol enough to wake him up. Because these are both too small to be lethal, you shouldn't have to worry. We just have to let this pass on its own." She said and left.

Everyone exchanged looks. They all felt better know what he had been drugged with, but they were all still uneasy.

"I'll go tell JJ." Morgan said.

Morgan entered the room again. JJ and Reid appeared to be the same as the last time he entered. She still hadn't let go of his hand, and she would barely look away.

"Hey. Garcia sent us the results." Morgan said.

"And?"

"The doctor thinks he'll wake up in the next hour and a half." Moran replied.

'Sure.' JJ thought. She had been incredibly pessimistic lately. It felt like nothing could ever be good again, and then this had to happen.

"And if he doesn't?" JJ asked quietly.

The first thing that he knew was the smell. That smell is always so strong.

'Why am I in a hospital?' Reid thought to himself. He tried to remember what happened last, but that was difficult. His energy was returning slowly. Then he began to hear voices.

"Garcia sent us the results." He knew that voice.

"And?" He knew that voice too.

"Doctor thinks he'll wake up in the next hour and a half."

Morgan and JJ! Reid couldn't believe it took him that long to remember that.

He realized that someone was holding his hand. And then his eyes opened only to reveal blurry vision.

"Well, the doctor said she can reverse it if she needs to." Morgan said. He was taken aback by her question. Usually, she wasn't so pessimistic. "JJ-"

"JJ…" Reid interrupted.

It took JJ and Morgan a moment to react. They stared at him, realizing that now he was indeed awake.

"Spence! Do you feel okay? Are you all right?" JJ asked nervously.

"I, I don't know." Reid answered slowly.

He was wearing a hospital gown, and he was in a hospital bed. It then dawned on Reid that he was in the hospital as a patient. But why? Last thing he remembered was going to find Kristy. Or was he? His memory was so blurry.

Morgan ran out of the room to find a doctor.

"JJ, what's going on?" Reid asked. "Where's Kristy? I have to see her."

"What are you talking about?" JJ asked in a worry-filled voice.

"Kristy had the memory. She needs to identify the man." Reid replied, trying to get out of the bed.

"Spence, what do you remember?" JJ asked slowly as she pushed him down.

"The last thing I remember was…was…" Reid said, trying to remember but too many flashes were coming into his mind. Suddenly, he recalled that Kristy had ID'ed the man. What was going on?

The doctor came in and gently pushed JJ aside, but before she did, JJ whispered something in her ear.

"Mr. Reid, I need to speak to you." She said calmly.

Reid's head was still reeling. He didn't want to speak to anyone. All he wanted was a few minutes to collect his thoughts.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she started to examine his pupils.

"Uh, fine." Reid answered shakily.

"Do you have a headache?" She continued.

"My head hurts slightly and I'm fine otherwise." Reid answered shortly.

Focus was returning and he was beginning to realize how wrong everything must be if he was in the hospital and he couldn't remember anything. He needed to get answers.

"Do you know what day is it?"

'Crap.' Reid was so confused. The last thing he remembered was talking to Kristy. Then it was night. There wasn't a window in the room so Reid couldn't see what time of day it was.

"I know the last memory I had was late Thursday." Reid said.

"Okay. Do you remember everything that led up to that moment?" She asked.

"I was in Kristy's room. The DNA, something happened with the DNA." Reid said frustrated.

"Okay, do you remember anything else?" the doctor asked.

"Nothing definitive." Reid replied. "There are flashes of other things."

"Like?"

"Just, sitting in her room. I think anyway." Reid said. "What happened?"

The doctor just turned and left. Reid began to examine what was around him. In his left hand, an IV needle was inserted, but it wasn't connected to anything. He could feel the oxygen cannula in his nose. Other than those two things, he looked normal. However, there was some pain at the back of his neck he couldn't understand.

'Wait a second, pain on my neck, could I have been drugged?' Reid panicked. 'Or worse, what if I passed out from the Dilaudid, and the team found out?'

After a few minutes, Hotch and Gideon walked in and came over to him. Reid dreaded and greeted their presence

"Hey Reid." Gideon greeted.

Hotch was silent. Reid noticed how off he looked.

"Hotch, Gideon, what happened?" Reid asked, hoping for a straight answer.

'Don't say you know, don't say you know about my drug…issue.' Reid thought, not wanting to admit his own addiction to himself.

"Reid, is all that you remember talking to Kristy last night?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah. What happened?" Reid asked again.

"Reid, last night, the man Kristy identified was let go." Hotch said.

"What? Why?" Reid asked. "He did it! Kristy said so!"

"DNA didn't match. After that, we know you stayed at the hospital a little while longer to talk to Kristy." Hotch said.

"Then what happened?" Reid asked. They didn't look as if they knew about the Dilaudid.

"All we know is that you were found this morning in the bathroom of Kristy's room," Reid panicked, hoping that he didn't take Dilaudid. He wished that he could remember. "and, well,-" Hotch began.

"Reid, Kristy's missing." Gideon said.

'No.' Reid couldn't comprehend it.

"No." He actually emitted.

"Reid, don't beat yourself up. When they found, you had been drugged with Etomidate, Rohypnol, and most likely Dilaudid. Your badge was missing and so was your gun." Hotch said. "There was nothing that you could have done."

'Wait, drugged? They think he used the Dilaudid!' Reid let out a breath of relief. Hotch and Gideon mistook it for a sigh. 'I'm okay. For now.'

Reid looked up. He knew that now it was time to solve another problem. He had to find Kristy.

***

The rest of the team finally entered. They tried to catch Reid up with all of the details of the case, but his mind just wasn't up to its normal speed. He kept getting confused and forgetting details. It was decided quickly to leave him to rest, which was also a doctor's order.

Reid was upset at first. He wanted to help find Kristy but he knew he was holding the team back because he couldn't keep up.

The team kept making rounds inside the hospital trying to pinpoint a person who could have done this. They had decided to not talk about the case in front of Reid. However, after spending two hours in and out of a doze, Reid finally felt ready to help. He agitated everyone enough that they finally decided that they would let him help as long as the doctor cleared it.

The doctor had decided that Reid was now competent, but she had wished to keep him in the hospital for observation to make sure the side effects weren't too much to handle. As long as Reid didn't do anything to strenuous, he would be okay.

During their lunch break, they all met back up in Reid's room while he examined the letter.

"I was thinking, maybe the unsub's feeling remorse because of religious connections. I mean, the letter says Jesus and it implies Christ." Emily pondered aloud.

"Well, this defiantly is a religious area." Morgan contributed.

"It is definitely a religious area, but that's not right." Reid said.

"Why not?" Emily asked.

"Because the unsub didn't write this. Kristy did." Reid said.

"Kristy? Are you sure?" Hotch asked.

"Yes. The handwriting implies a female. It's more bouncy and curly. It's also the language. Kristy wants to be a Social Studies teacher when she grows up. She talked about it like the language here, with how she described the impact on ancient history." Reid explained.

"Then why did she have all the errors?" Morgan asked. "I heard this girl; she's too smart for that many errors."

"She was probably in danger at the time." Gideon said. "Anyone with a weapon to their head is guaranteed to make a few mistakes."

"Kristy wouldn't make this many." Reid said. "She did this on purpose."

"So what does it mean?" JJ asked.

Reid started to think long and hard. K, E, N, C and N were the letters that needed to be replaced. C, I, M, S, and M were the letters that belonged in the letter. H, E, R, and I were the letters that were missing.

"Anything?" Hotch asked after a few minutes.

"If I put the letters that are involved in order, it's nonsense. I can try to find anagrams of these letters, but the K is really throwing me." Reid replied. He turned the note over to examine the lines.

'These look familiar.' He thought. From where, he had no idea.

"Let me think about it a while." Reid replied. Everyone was finishing eating, leaving Reid and JJ alone as they headed out.

A nurse came by later to try to get Reid to eat. However, nausea still hung around him and the urge to eat was nonexistent. Reid was praying that this was the only side effect he experienced. He knew that vomiting was the other major side effect that was present for a long time afterwards, something he dearly wanted to avoid.

"Reid, you have to eat something. Do you remember eating anything yesterday?" JJ urged.

"I think I grabbed something from the cafeteria." Reid said. He didn't remember, but JJ didn't need to know that.

JJ sighed. She was worried that Reid would push himself too far. He couldn't hide that he was still weak. Every time he stood up he trembled and required assistance with everything. It was good to see him awake and alert; it wasn't right when he was out cold or confused. That was not the Spencer Reid she loved.

'Loved? Shut up JJ! You can't love someone that you aren't even dating!' She admonished herself.

"I'm still drinking liquids; as long as my stomach returns to normal soon, I'll be fine." Reid said.

JJ and Reid were both silent for a few minutes. Reid was still thinking about the difficult problem of decoding Kristy's letter.

"I don't get it." JJ said quietly.

"What?"

"Why would she go to all this trouble to give us a simple message? I mean, if you can't figure it out, then who can?" JJ said.

"I don't know." Reid said thoughtfully. "Unless I'm over analyzing it. That has been known to happen." He replied with a small smile.

JJ chuckled. Her laugh warmed Reid's insides, and somehow gave him new inspiration.

"Wait, she probably didn't mean to include all of these letters! I've been trying to make anagrams including every single one." Reid said. He grabbed a legal pad and began writing because ideas were flooding his brain, and he needed to remember them all.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked.

"She probably only wants me to use certain groups of letters. And…" Reid began, but stopped.

"What?

Reid looked away and kept thinking. He flipped over the paper to examine the lines.

"JJ, do you have a copy of the DNA results for Nathanial Grimow?" Reid asked quietly.

JJ looked at him.

"Well, yes, but why?" She said as she handed them to him.

"JJ, is Grimow working today?" he asked after examining it for a moment.

"I don't think anyone has seen him, but why is that important? He's not the unsub." JJ reminded him.

"I need your cell phone." Reid said quickly.

"What?"

"JJ, please I need to call Garcia, and my cell phone is conveniently with the unsub along with my satchel. It's important." Reid said adamantly.

JJ fished it out and handed it over.

"If you called this number hoping to reach the all supreme and powerful technology enchantress of the FBI's computer system, then you have been successful." Garcia greeted Reid. "What can I do for you JJ?"

"Actually it's Reid. I need you to check something for me Garcia."

"Reid? Sweetie, how are you feeling? Why are working? You're in the hospital! If Hotch made you, don't worry, I can order a-" Garcia said.

"Later. Do you have the DNA of the unsub?"

"Yes."

"Does it have a secondary line?"

"Uh, yes it does, but it's very faint."

"Can you compare the secondary line to the main line of DNA for Grimow?"

"What? What for?"

"Garcia, please."

"Okay, but it's not going…" Garcia began.

"Going to what?" Reid asked, getting excited.

"Reid, they're a match. What the hell is going on?"

"Garcia, can you compare the other two?"

"Those are a match too." Garcia said after a moment.

"Thanks. I have to go. You're a miracle worker."

"Reid, you need to explain this freakiness to me later."

Reid snapped the cell phone shut and started to climb out of bed unsuccessfully.

"Whoa, Spence, what's going on?" JJ said as she rushed over to help him.

"JJ we need to get Hotch. Grimow's the unsub." Reid said as he collapsed onto her outstretched arm.

"Spence, DNA cleared him. He didn't do it." JJ said quietly as she tried to get him to sit down.

"No, DNA confused us. Grimow's the unsub. JJ, we need to talk to Hotch." Reid said firmly.

"Well, I'll call Hotch, and-"

"He went to the ICU. No cell phones allowed." Reid reminded her.

JJ sighed. She knew there was nothing that would stop him.

"Let's go." She said as she led him out.

Hotch was walking out of the ICU when he saw Reid and JJ hobbling towards him. Reid looked out of breath but determined while JJ looked ready to panic.

"Reid! JJ! What's going on?" Hotch said as he ran to help Reid over to a chair.

"Hotch, Grimow's the unsub. He's a chimera." Reid panted out.

"What?"

"He's a chimera. It's a birth defect where a set of twins combines into one person. There's two sets of DNA present in a chimera. Certain cells will take certain DNA as the forefront. We compared Grimow's saliva and hair. They didn't match because it was from different types of cells, but if we were to compare his hair, they would have matched."

"Reid, how do we know? How do you know?" Hotch said obviously stunned.

"Kristy told us. Instead of using all of the letters, I was only supposed to use the ones that were needed to replace the wrong ones or the letters that were missing all together. It spells 'CHIMERISM'. On the back were lines that looked like tracings of the DNA lines. I think I gave Kristy a piece of paper last night, I'm not for sure. If I did, she was trying to figure out why this was wrong." Reid finished.

"Then why didn't she wake you and tell you she figured it out?" JJ asked.

"I don't think she figured it out until Grimow came. The tracings were done in pencil, while the letter was written in pen. I was found inside her bathroom, and the door to the bathroom had been shut?" Reid inquired.

"I believe so." Hotch replied.

"And, most likely, he got to me right away, before I had time to stop him?" Reid asked shakily.

"Yes Reid." Hotch said.

Reid breathed a sigh internally. He hoped Hotch was right; he needed to know that he did everything he could to help Kristy.

"Well, I always have a pen in my front pocket. Kristy's street clothes were gone, and a hospital patient doesn't walk around at night. Kristy had them on before she left. She went into the bathroom, changed, but also wrote this note because of the pen she got from my pocket." Reid said.

"Reid, I don't get the connection you're making." Hotch simply said.

"Grimow needed to make sure that I wouldn't be fond right away. The sooner I was found, the worse. So he put me in the bathroom, and told Kristy to change. He had my gun to threaten her. Well, Kristy would have insisted on going in the bathroom to change. Her privacy is the most important thing in the world to her. She would probably rather be shot than change in front of him." Reid said.

"And when she was in there, she hid the sheet of paper with her, and wrote the note." Hotch concluded.

"But how did she hide the note when she got out?" Reid asked.

"When I arrived, the bed was messed up from the nurse, but I think she said that it was made to look occupied. The person did a very bad job, and the note was stashed on the bed." Hotch said. "Kristy could have easily taken it back out if she brought it into the bathroom. And if he forced her to make the bed, she just had to slip it out of her hand. I mean, the paper was only a few inches big." Hotch said.

"But why did she make it a code? I mean, why didn't she just write chimerism?" JJ asked.

"In case she was caught." Hotch said.

"He wouldn't have known what it said." Reid finished.

"But how do we know that she's right?" Hotch asked.

"Garcia confirmed that the DNA cross matched. No matter what, we have Grimow, or his nonexistent twin, at the first scene." Reid said. "Now we have to figure out why or where he is."

"We were having trouble figuring that out yesterday." JJ said quietly.

"Gideon and Prentiss thought they might have had a lead yesterday when the results came back. We'll pull everything that we got yesterday and keep looking. Go back to your room; I'll get the others." Hotch ordered.

JJ helped Reid stand up. It went more smoothly going back until Reid got to the room. Suddenly, he found himself hovering over the toilet emptying himself of his meager stomach contents with JJ beside him.

"I'm sorry." He apologized after it ended and JJ assisted him to his bed.

"Spence, it's not your fault. Rohypnol and Dilaudid can both cause nasty withdrawal symptoms. It's a good thing that you're not addicted; then they can get really bad." JJ said with an encouraging, or in Reid's opinion, taunting smile.

He gave a small nod and his cheeks began to flush.

'If only you knew JJ.' A new train of through then occurred to Reid. 'What's going to happen when I experience bad withdrawal symptoms?' Reid panicked. He knew that this was going to be the beginning of the end. No one was going to be able to understand why he would be having such terrible symptoms when he only had little amounts of the drug.

Thankfully, everyone else entered the room right then

"I briefed them, but you're going to have to explain Chimerism better than I did." Hotch said.

"Chimerism is like Siamese twins, except instead of it obviously being two distinct people, it's one person. As long as both babies are the same gender, people can go their entire lives not knowing because this is extremely rare." Reid said.

"If he did this, then why did he give us the DNA sample?" Emily challenged.

Reid had to think about this a moment.

"He knew." Gideon said. "We told him we had a hair sample, so he gave us the opposite knowing it would clear him."

Everyone became disgusted by his guile.

"How would he find out?" Emily asked. "How or why did he suspect this?"

"Who knows? People have found out from regular DNA testing for other reasons such as paternal tests or matches for tissue and organ donation. Then, the test comes back and the DNA says that the person is really their own sibling. It can create problems with other family members' DNA as well. In fact one lady who was a chimera had a son whose parents were determined to be the kid's uncle and grandfather." Reid rambled.

"So what, he could have had a paternity test, and it just appeared?" Morgan said.

Reid nodded.

"Well, where were you guys headed with your lead?" Hotch asked, feeling that chimerism was clear enough now.

"We know that Grimow was married, but we're having trouble finding information on his wife. All we have is her name, and Garcia was working on it when the DNA results came back." Emily supplied.

"Call her and have her pick it up again." Hotch ordered to which Emily leapt right away. "Where were we with the rest of his family? There has to be someone we can talk to."

"I don't think so Hotch. His parents are dead, and as far as we can tell, he doesn't have any other alive relatives. He had a son, but he died back in 2000 from cardiac arrest according to the death certificate. And he was real young, only 17." Morgan said.

"What?" Reid asked.

"He was 17." Morgan said.

'The same age that we thought the unsub was when the accident happened. O rmaybe not…' Reid thought.

"What else do we know about his death?" Reid asked.

"Well, I got an obituary with this. All it says is that he died at Sioux Valley Hospital on March 7, 2000 after being admitted a week before following an accident." Morgan said.

"March 7? That was two days ago." Emily said.

"It only says accident; that could mean car accident, or anything else." JJ reminded her.

"We only looked as far back as 10 years ago. We can try to pull up an accident report from then and see if it matches." Hotch said.

Everyone began to flutter around.

20 minutes later, Morgan, Hotch and Gideon were headed to meet Daphne Olsen, Grimow's ex-wife. She greeted them kindly but was obviously confused about why three FBI agents were at her house.

"Ms. Olsen, what can you tell us about your ex-husband?" Morgan started.

"Nathan? Well, I haven't spoken to him in months. Why?" She asked nervously.

"Ma'am, we believe that he may be connected with a series of crimes that have been committed recently." Hotch said.

"Nathan? No. He's not that kind of person." Daphne retorted.

"What kind of person is he?" Gideon asked kindly.

"Quiet, kind. A good man and he was a good father. What makes you think he did something?"

"What connection do you have with Lake Cooper?" Hotch inquired.

"Lake Cooper? Well, until last summer, my family has owned a cabin for years there." She replied. "And, well, it's where Scott, well, the accident occurred there."

"Scott?" Morgan asked.

"Our son. You see, when we 19, Nathan and I thought we were in love. My family is very, well, rich and snobby. I'm not proud of it. They looked down upon Nathan. My parents never realized how serious I was about him. We eloped. I tried to hide it from my parents by saying that I needed to stay at school; I was on the East coast. But then I got pregnant. Needless to say, my parents spazzed when I came home from school. I told them everything, and the worst of it is that they were more ashamed that Scott turned out to be Nathan's son. They were hoping that I was sleeping around with other rich boys instead of waiting and marrying a good man. Nathan and I realized that it would never work. We got an annulment. My father tried to keep Nathan from even seeing Scott, which I hated. When Nathan tried to take him to court, my father cracked and every Sunday, Nathan and Scott spent the day together. My father did his best to cover up our marriage. Hardly anyone knows I even got married."

"How does Lake Cooper fit in?" Hotch asked again.

"Well, Nathan and Scott both loved the lake in the summer. Often, just on Sundays, they would go out and go boating and whatever else. They would stay at the cabin, which my father owned. Usually in the winter, they wouldn't go, but then, one fateful day, Scott was out with his girlfriend. She was a native of the lake; lived there all the time. It was really warm for March. She wanted to go ice fishing and Scott drove his truck out on the ice. She was following, so only Scott went under when the ice broke. Tanya, his girlfriend, did her best. She called the police and got help immediately, but Scott was trapped in the truck for so long. They were amazed that he was still alive when they pulled him out." Daphne began. She began to sniff a bit and her eyes were starting to well a bit. "They rushed him to the hospital. He went into a coma, and after a week, he passed away. It was the seven year anniversary a few days ago."

"We're sorry for your loss." Gideon said.

"Thank you. But what does this have to do with Nathan? Like I said, I haven't spoken to him in months."

"We believe that he is responsible for the kidnappings and beatings of seven local girls. The only connection is Lake Cooper. However, we don't know where three of them are." Hotch said.

"That's terrible, but I just don't see Nathan doing this. He's not a violent man." Daphne insisted.

"He most likely isn't. When did you last have contact with him?" Morgan asked.

"When we sold the cabin." Daphne said.

Morgan, Hotch and Gideon all exchanged looks.

"When was that?" Hotch asked.

"Last September. Ever since Scott passed away, we didn't really talk that much. He was our only connection after college. Nathan took it extremely hard. But, this is not Nathan." Daphne said.

"Is there anywhere he would go, something that has high value to him?" Hotch asked.

"Uh, well, whenever he was feeling really sad, he would go to the cabin. You can tell exactly where Scott fell in from a window. Nathan once told me that he somehow feels closer to Nathan there. I've never wanted to go back. We finally got around to putting it up for sale last summer. Nathan wasn't too thrilled, but he accepted it." Daphne said.

"Who bought it?" Morgan asked. "Are they there now?"

"Uh, I think a family from Sioux Falls. They said they would only want it for the summer, even though it's a winter cabin also. He wouldn't go back there, would he?" Daphne asked with wide eyes.

"We don't know ma'am, but we're going to check it out." Gideon said standing up.

"Thank you for your time, and if you think of anything else, call us here." Hotch said as they left.

"Okay, selling the house could have been the stressor." Morgan said as they stepped outside.

"But why wait this long? You heard her, they sold it last September." Hotch said.

"He probably wasn't angry enough. Now, it was just the anniversary of his son's death." Gideon said.

"So that could have been the stressor." Morgan said.

"But he took Cora on February 28. His son died on March 7." Hotch said.

"But that was the day that he didn't take anyone." Morgan reminded them.

"Then why did he take Kristy last night?" Gideon asked.

"Call the others. They can add this to their information." Hotch ordered. "But I think we're going to need to go to the lake and check out the cabin."

Gideon and Morgan nodded their heads.

"Hey."

"Hey JJ. Listen, we got the connection. Grimow's father-in-law owned a cabin on Lake Cooper, and his son-" Morgan began.

"Died because of it. We know. Emily found the file and Reid's been dissecting it for a while. All we know is he went in February 28, and died March 7." JJ said.

"Well, add to the list that the possible stressor could be that they sold the cabin last September, and now it's the anniversary of the kid's death." Morgan replied.

"Okay."

"We're coming over soon, but we think that he could possibly be at the lake. We'll assemble a team when we get back."

"Okay." JJ hung up her phone.

"Okay, they may have gotten a possible stressor. Apparently, the cabin that Grimow spent his time was owned by his ex-wife's family and they sold it last September." JJ said.

"Last September?" Reid repeated.

"Yeah, why?" JJ asked.

"7 months…" Reid muttered quietly. He wished he could stand up and pace without becoming dizzy. Then the light bulb flashed on

"What?" Emily asked.

"The stressor was mathematical." Reid said. "His stressor was a convergence of seven sevens."

"Spence, what are you talking about?" JJ asked.

"Grimow's son was 17 years old. He was in a coma for 7 days. He died March 7. It was 7 years ago. It's now 2007. There were 7 girls who lived on the lake all the time. And, it was 7 months that they sold the cabin. He probably saw all these sevens and figured it was destiny." Reid said.

"Like, the will of God." Emily said.

"Yeah exactly." Reid replied after a moment. He hadn't heard anyone use those words since Rafael had told him it was the will of God for Reid to die.

'You're here. He's not.' Reid reminded himself.

"So, why did he choose the abandoned building?" JJ asked. "I mean, they think he's at the old cabin. Wouldn't he have started there?"

"That would make sense…" Reid agreed.

"Well, the address of the building is 707, 7th street." Emily said, peering into the file.

"And then he had to move, so he went to other meaningful place he could think of that would work." Reid said.

"We got him." JJ said.

The others arrived a few moments later and were immediately told their discovery. They wasted no time in getting a force ready to leave to go to the lake.

Reid watched with sadness as everyone got ready. He wanted to go find Kristy, to find out if he really did everything he was supposed to protect her. It bothered Reid that he was taken down with little physical force. Would Kristy even forgive him? Was she okay? The questions that he had put off so they could find Kristy began to flood his head.

A few moments, he noticed that his room was completely empty. Even Gideon, who had said he would stay with Reid, was gone. Reid just slumped back in his bed. He looked at Kristy's note again. It amazed him that she figured that out. He knew that she would make it; she wouldn't go down without a hell of a fight.

Reid smiled at this thought, and then ran to the bathroom to puke again. This was the third time altogether. He knew that JJ and Emily were getting worried, but luckily, everything turned out so quickly, they weren't able to say anything.

'At least there might only be one more day of this.' Reid thought painfully. It wasn't exactly a comforting thought; he knew that the symptoms would only intensify, and the team or the doctor would notice. She had told Reid when she came to remove the oxygen cannula earlier that morning that she thought he would be able to go home that day, as long as he reacted well enough.

"Hey." Reid nearly jumped. He hadn't realized that Gideon had returned.

"Oh, hi."

"I figured that you'd want to change into something comfortable." Gideon said. He motioned to Reid's duffel, which was now on the floor.

"Thanks." Reid said.

"It could be a while. Never know how long it could take to get Grimow to come out." Gideon said.

Reid nodded and went into the bathroom to change. It felt better to be back in his own T-shirt, his own sweatpants. He looked down at his mismatched feet as he was walking out and was thankful that the doctors hadn't removed his socks. Of course, Reid had been smart enough to put a band aid over the marks, so that if someone asked, Reid would just say he cut himself.

He returned a few minutes later. Then the wait began.

***

"Do you think anything has happened yet?"

Morgan was usually the impatient one. Yet, here was Reid, pacing, worrying. He didn't care that every time stood up he felt dizzy. Reid just couldn't take sitting still any longer.

"Reid, it's been twenty minutes. By now, they're hopefully making it to Lakewood." Gideon reminded him. "Don't worry; she's going to be fine. The others will get her, Ana, and Sara and bring them back."

Reid nodded. It didn't stop him from pacing though.

"Reid, what's bothering you?" Gideon asked after many moments.

"Bothering? Um noth…"

'Dang it Gideon.' Reid thought furiously. Gideon's eyes looked so trusting that Reid knew he wouldn't be able to lie. 'I can't tell him about…everything. How is it that he can get me to almost always spill my guts? Wait, maybe I'll tell him something else. I could tell him the other less damaging worry.'

"It's just that, well, I think I didn't do everything to protect Kristy. I mean, I was an armed FBI agent who was taken down by a 44 year old man. I mean, I should have been in that chair Gideon while Kristy slept." Reid began as he watched the scene inside his head again. "I should have easily been able to stand up, draw my gun, get him to back down, and arrested him. Then, Kristy wouldn't have to be held hostage, and probably beaten. But I didn't Gideon. Instead, he got me. And because of me, he got Kristy."

"Reid, no one blames you for what happened."

"It's not just that Gideon. If I had been more careful, more through, I cold have prevented this from ever happening. Grimow slipped under our radar. And the DNA? It's obvious now looking at it that they are the same. If I had caught that last night, we could have gotten him then. There were so many opportunities that I could have seen something important, and I didn't." Reid was growing hysterical as he finished.

"Reid, we never caught Grimow because his connections to the lake were so well hidden. We didn't look at the right time period. And were you looking to see if Grimow was a chimera? No. You weren't looking for it; there's no way you would have seen it. Reid, what happened last, it's not like when we swarm a place and we have our guns drawn and ready. Reid most likely, you did react. Grimow got to you before you draw your gun. You know how fast, what is it, emphrin?

"Etomidate."

"Takes someone out. You were fighting uneven odds Reid. And, as for Kristy, I didn't speak to her that much but from what Hotch and Morgan described of her, she wouldn't hold this against you. Besides Reid, had you not been here, she probably couldn't have left the note. That note has solved the case." Gideon stated calmly.

Reid looked up again. Gideon's eyes were still kind and trusting. However, instead of that taunting Reid as it had been lately, it comforted him. He began to contemplate what Gideon had said. He knew Gideon was right in his head, but his gut didn't agree. Until he saw that Kristy, Ana, and Sara returned he knew he would feel responsible.

Suddenly, Reid's stomach took another nasty churn, and he was once again in the bathroom. Reid's body wanted the drug again; he knew that it was only going to get worse because his body would be rebelling when it didn't receive it.

When Reid finally returned from rinsing out his mouth, Gideon was snapping his cell phone shut.

"That was Hotch. Reid, they raided the house. They didn't find anything."

Reid just stood there.

"Where would he go? That was of significance to him." Reid asked.

"They don't know. They're splitting up and searching the area. There's nothing more they can do."

"Wait, we should have figured this out." Reid suddenly realized. "The address of the house was 209 Edge Drive. Grimow wouldn't go there because there was no 7. It's not part of his plan."

"So where he took them has a seven, and it's important? Reid, that could be a lot of places. I mean the first one was an abandoned building that had a fitting address. He could have taken them anywhere." Gideon reminded him.

"But he wasn't confident then. He didn't want to venture far away in case it didn't work. Now he thinks that it's destiny to happen. He would want constant reassurance that this is right."

"The lake, to remind him of his cause."

"Exactly."

"So what's important on the lake that has 7?"

"Do his in-laws own any other property at the lake?" Reid questioned.

Gideon pulled out the file.

"Yes, a storage shed."

"Hotch."

Hotch was pissed. They had rushed out to the lake only to find nothing. They knew that the longer they waited the higher chance Kristy was getting more severely hurt.

"Grimow's in-laws own a storage shed on the other side of the lake." Gideon spat out.

"Gideon, what makes you think that he's there?"

"They rent number seven."

"Okay. We're going over."

Immediately, everyone drove over to the storage shed complex. It was silent around the lake as was expected in early March. However, there were many car tracks that Hotch thought were similar to the ones that he and Morgan had found a few days earlier.

The storage shed was locked as was expected. One of the other cops pulled out pliers and pulled the lock apart.

"3,2,1" Hotch whispered as everyone stood waiting to raid the place.

"FBI! Nathan Grimow, come out with your hands up!" Morgan ordered as the door came up.

"Morgan?" came a weak response.

Everyone surveyed the area. Furniture was lying around, but a little path had been cleared. Hotch was closest and started moving back. Then he saw Kristy staggering towards him. She was bearing bruises on her face and arms.

"Agent Hotchner?" She asked with a worn out voice and a smile on her face.

"Kristy." Hotch went forward and grabbed her. She was very shaky.

"You need…to help Ana and Sara. I think they're getting… hypothermia." Kristy mumbled as Hotch guided her out front to JJ. Morgan followed Hotch back, and sure enough, Ana and Sara were lying on the floor unconscious. Their beatings were more severe and more similar to the other girls.

"Hotch, Grimow's not here." Emily called.

"He left a few hours ago." Kristy replied.

JJ was helping her to a police car where they were getting her a blanket.

"Did he say where he was going?" JJ asked.

Kristy shook her head.

"He was beating me, and then he just stopped. He started muttering, and I think he said something about finishing something. Then he just ran out and locked the door. I don't know anything else. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry Kristy. You did your best. Just relax." JJ assured her.

"Is Reid okay?"

"Yeah, he's going to be fine."

Kristy nodded. JJ finally got her sat down, and Kristy promptly shut her eyes. Morgan and Hotch were helping to get Sara and Ana out while Emily called Gideon, or so JJ assumed.

"Where would he go?" Hotch asked.

Those who had gone on the raid were standing outside the storage shed talking to Reid and Gideon over the phone.

"He needs to go somewhere that's important to him, and most likely the number seven is involved somehow." Reid stated.

"That could be almost anywhere." Morgan stated.

"Kristy thinks he said something about finishing. Where would he go if he wanted to finish?" JJ pondered.

"Well, no more girls can be taken, so we shouldn't have to worry about him taking another hostage." Emily said.

"Then that would imply that this is something personal, something that he would go to before. According to his ex, he came here to be close to Scott. We can tell he's not here. No one is." Hotch added.

Reid was still pacing. He nearly fainted with relief when Hotch said that they had the girls. However, not having Grimow meant that their job was not yet done. 'Where would he go? What else is significant?'

"JJ, did Kristy say anything else?" Reid asked.

"Well, she did say that he was beating her, and he suddenly stopped which was when he left."

"Well, if he truly was finishing, maybe he's de-evolving. He didn't just stop with the other girls, he kept going. He's done, he wants to be finished." Reid cried with excitement. The final piece was coming together. "And where else to finish but the grave?"

"You think he went to his son's grave?" Hotch questioned.

"If his son truly was the reason, then maybe when he was at the abandoned building the grave was his source of strength. At the lake, it was the accident site that kept reminding him of why he was doing this. He needed something closer to Watertown, and the only plausible thing would be his grave. If he had been visiting something that was his ex's or in-laws', they would have noticed. The grave is something that they wouldn't have." Reid concluded.

"That's in Watertown, right?" Emily asked.

"Yes." Gideon confirmed. "I'll go."

"Jason, be careful. If he's truthful about finishing, he's going to try to kill someone." Hotch openly worried.

"Just get the girls back. I'll get Grimow." Gideon assured him.

Gideon snapped his phone shut.

"You'll be okay, right?" He asked as he turned to Reid.

"Yeah. Go ahead. The others will be back soon enough." Reid stated.

Gideon nodded as he turned out of the room. Reid slumped back on the bed.

Relief washed over him. Even if he ended up being wrong about Grimow being at the cemetery, Kristy was okay. He had a feeling everything would turn out okay.

Reid's body began to shut down, and he drifted off. He wanted to be awake when they got back, but he was suddenly so drowsy.

(Okay, pretend with me that lets me use asterisks. I wasn't aware the didn't)

The truck Gideon was driving up in finally pulled into the cemetery. On the other side, sure enough, Grimow was sitting in front of a grave. Snipers were put into place and other precautions were taken before it was finally cleared for Gideon to approach him.

"Nathanial Grimow?"

"Ah, agent, Gideon I believe? I see you've joined me." Grimow replied with a sad smile. He didn't turn to look Gideon in the eye.

"It's over Grimow. We got you."

"Took a little longer than you expected. As I told Kristy, DNA can be confusing."

"You knew you were a chimera, and just to confuse us you gave us the opposite sample."

"I know what I did. You don't need to tell me."

"Then why don't you tell me why you did it. Why did you kidnap and beat seven girls in the course of nine days?"

"Because they needed it." Grimow said softly. He finally turned to look directly at Gideon. "They knew better, yet they didn't act better. I saw them in December! They needed to be taught a lesson! I did it. Because of me, parents won't have to go trough the hurt I did."

"You put a lot of parents through a lot of misery. Two girls are still in comas." Gideon reminded him.

Grimow's eyes filled with tears. "It wasn't supposed to happen like that. But it doesn't matter anymore."

The next few moments went in slow motion for Gideon. Grimow moved his folded hands to reveal a gun and put it to his own head. Before Gideon could grab it, a shot rang out, and Grimow's lifeless body was falling to the ground.

JJ walked down to the hallway to Reid's room. Hopefully, the doctor would let him out in the next few hours as she had predicted earlier. She was about to say something when she saw that he was asleep on the bed. He had changed clothes, and looked normal again.

She figured it would be best to wait. Hotch and Morgan had gone down to the cemetery to help finish Grimow's mess. The whole team was still in shock that Grimow had committed suicide.

Emily and JJ had returned to the hospital to make sure the girls arrived all right. Sara and Ana were definitely in for a tough recovery. Kristy had once again been lucky. She would be fine in a few days.

JJ stared down at Reid. Sadly, she thought that his face was slightly paler that when they left a few hours earlier. Other than that, he appeared fine.

Emily walked in a few minutes later.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey Emily. What's going on?"

"Well, I was talking to the doctors, and Cora woke up this morning. Haley should really soon. Ginger and Rachael are both making really big improvements and they should go home in a few days." Emily whispered sitting down next to JJ.

They chatted a little while longer. A nurse later entered the room.

"Agents, it's okay to see Kristy now. I can escort you." The nurse said.

"Do you think we should wake Reid up?" Emily asked.

"Yeah probably. He'll most likely want to talk to her." JJ replied as she began to shake him gently.

Reid slowly opened his eyes.

"JJ? Emily? Did everything go okay?" He asked as he began to get up.

"Yeah everything went fine. You were right; Grimow was at the cemetery." JJ answered.

"Good." More relief entered Reid.

"However, he committed suicide before Gideon could officially arrest him." Emily added.

Reid sighed.

"And everything else?" He continued.

"Well, we were going to see Kristy now and begin to ask questions." JJ said.

Reid nodded and with JJ's assistance the three agents began to head to her room.

"Wow."

That was the greeting they received from Kristy.

"What?" Emily asked.

"You look really different in street clothes." She clarified looking at Reid.

"Oh, well, hospital gowns are only so comfortable." Reid replied as he sat down in a chair next to her. JJ stood next to him and Emily moved on the other side.

"Yeah." Kristy stated with her knowing smile.

Her face carried many distinct bruises. Reid could also count four areas of stitches. It amazed him that she could still smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Been better, been worse. Did you find him?"

JJ, Reid and Emily exchanged looks.

"What happened?" Kristy asked.

"He was at his son's grave." JJ began. "Gideon went to get him to surrender."

"He killed himself before we could arrest him." Emily concluded.

Kristy got a look of disgust on her face.

"I can't… It's just so surreal." Kristy stammered.

"If you want us to come back later, it's okay." JJ said.

"No. You need to know what happened." Kristy stated adamantly. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Last night. I don't remember what happened." Reid instructed.

"Well, around midnight you dozed off. I was trying desperately to figure out why he wasn't the man, but I dozed off too. Next thing I know, Grimow is standing in front of me. He had a syringe and threatened to use it. He was shaking and jittery. Then, we heard a noise. He asked me if there was anyone else around. I said no, but then he opened the bathroom door anyway. A few seconds later, you were on the ground." Kristy finished quietly.

'No. I didn't, did I really?' Reid thought. 'I can't believe I used it while I was here.' Reid really wanted to beat himself up. How much lower could he get than using drugs in a hospital?

"Then he kind of spazzed. He started walking circles and mumbling something. I tried to talk to him, but he only said one thing to me. I asked him why they didn't figure out it was him because of the DNA, and he got this really crazy grin on his face and said that DNA can confuse people. Other than that, anything I asked or just angered him. Finally, he figured out his plan I guess. He pulled you into the bathroom. Then he took your gun, badge, wallet, anything that he thought would identify you. He grabbed my clothes and told me to put them on." Kristy continued. "I said no."

"What?" Reid blurted out. "You were in a hostage situation. You always should do what the hostage taker tells you."

"I would have, but thankfully, you told me everything I needed to know. You said that he wants his victims to be aware of their beating, their punishment. I knew he wouldn't shoot me. If he did, he wouldn't get any release because I wouldn't feel the beating. I also knew he wouldn't shoot in a hospital, and if he was crazy enough to do it, I figured I was in a pretty good spot for it to happen." Kristy replied with a smile.

"Kristy, do you realize-" Emily began.

"how stupid and potentially life-threatening that was? Yeah. But I figured the longer I kept him, the safer I would turn out. Didn't work in the end though." She added bitterly.

"What happened? We know that you left, and that you were wearing your street clothes." JJ responded.

"Well, he convinced me to follow his orders." Kristy replied shortly.

"How?" Reid pushed.

"Do you really want to know?" Kristy asked after a moment. She looked directly at Reid. "He turned and put the gun to your head."

Never did Reid see that coming. Immediately his mind went into overdrive of flashbacks and sweat began to come over his entire body. Tobias was standing in front of him, asking him to condemn someone who was innocent. Then the gun shot came…

"And he said that he would shoot you if I didn't follow his orders. I knew he didn't care about you, or even the fact that you were an FBI agent; I did what he said."

Reid barely heard this last sentence. His mind was stuck in the cabin in Georgia. Not really thinking, he stood up and left. JJ followed him.

"Hey, Spence. Hey, it's okay." JJ comforted him as she pulled him into a hug outside Kristy's room.

Reid was still shaking. It was nice to have someone comforting him, especially JJ, but even she couldn't understand the feelings he had at the moment.

"JJ, I think I want a few moments alone. Don't worry." He added quickly as he saw JJ's face light up in protest. "I just want to think. This will pass soon enough, I just need a little bit."

JJ looked at him. He knew she would understand.

"Okay. The others should be back soon, and we'll start getting ready to head home. I'll tell them you're here." She replied as she headed back into Kristy's room.

Relief washed over Reid. He turned and headed back.

"I'm sorry. Reid's a little sensitive about some of these topics." Emily immediately explained. "Just, pick up where you left off."

Kristy stared at her quizzically before continuing. "I convinced him to let me change in the bathroom. While Grimow was rambling I snuck the paper into my hand. It was the DNA comment that told me he was chimera. I stole a pen from Reid's pocket in the bathroom. When I got out, he told me to make the bed look like someone was sleeping. It was easy to slip the note in the covers after that. I know it wasn't exactly clear cut or anything. But you must have figured it out, right?"

"Reid did." Morgan confirmed as he walked in with JJ.

"Morgan, hey. What's going on?" Emily greeted him.

"Hotch and Gideon are searching his house. He didn't give Gideon all of the answers that we needed, like why he came back or why he waited. However, he most likely wrote everything down." Morgan replied. "I came back to give Reid his bag back. CSI's said that Grimow barely touched, they found it in his truck, so it was cleared. However, it was Reid's gun that he used. We might not get that back."

"Reid probably won't want it back." JJ said quietly.

"Is Reid okay?" Emily whispered, seeing that Kristy was dozing a bit and not paying attention.

"He's going to be. He wanted a few moments alone to think." JJ replied. "We better finish this. Then we can let Kristy rest."

"You're right. Kristy, how did you get out of the hospital?" Emily asked.

"Grimow knew all the exits for staff and everything. They weren't watched, and he took me out through one of them. He threw me in his SUV, and we drove out to the lake. He took me into the storage shed and began to beat me." Kristy paused here and her eyes began to widen and water. "He kept shouting things like 'Knew better' and 'Punishment'. I just kept hoping that he wouldn't go completely crazy. He still had Reid's gun. And then, he just stopped. He stood up, and looked around like he didn't know why he was here or what was going on. He turned around and left. I tried to help Ana and Sara, but there wasn't a lot I could do. And then, you guys showed up. You know the rest."

The others nodded.

"So he didn't say anything about why he wanted you?" Morgan asked.

"Nope. Or if he did, he wasn't comprehensive enough for me to know." Kristy then yawned. "I'm sorry, but I'm really tired. I'll talk to you some more later if you need me to."

"No, that's fine."

"So, what next?" Emily pondered once they exited.

"I'll call Hotch and Gideon. If they need help, we can go over. If not, maybe we can head back to the hotel, you know start packing." Morgan replied.

"Start to head home." Emily concluded with a smile.

"Hey, I'm gonna go see if I can talk to Reid yet." JJ said.

Emily gave her a look of warning while Morgan gave her one of understanding.

Reid was sitting on his bed. He felt like he had just woken up from being induced with twice as much Rohypnol. Thoughts were cluttering in his head. He felt dizzy and he could depict if it was from the drug or the same thoughts and memories.

Morgan had given Reid his satchel back. The drug was in there. Sure enough, the amount in one of the vials was lower than Reid remembered.

'That's why I couldn't protect Kristy.' Reid thought bitterly. 'I was drugging myself. Why? How was I so stupid?'

Reid began to feel tears well in his eyes. It was just too much. He couldn't take it all. Everything was beginning to merge and become too confusing.

Reid didn't even realize how his fingers worked like magic these days. In the minutes that his thoughts rampaged, they had prepared a needle full of the drug. Actually, fuller. Reid wanted to escape, just like Tobias had originally said the drug would accomplish. He wanted to get away, to not have to think, to remember, to know.

'How lucky I am that Morgan gave that back.' Reid said inside his head.

He shoved the depressor down, and let into his body the most massive dose he had ever taken. Reid never knew how he was even conscious long enough to hide the needle and drug. Later, he never remembered falling back into his pillows. All Reid later remembered was what Tobias did indeed promise him, an escape.

JJ turned into his room. She once again saw that Reid was asleep. In all honesty, she was about to leave. It was difficult however; it had been a while since Reid had been looking peaceful. Then something caught her eye.

"Spence. Hey Spence, wake up." She repeated as she had 45 minutes earlier. Only this time, he didn't wake up. He didn't even move. In fact, he didn't even take a breath.

"Spence!"

***

"Hotch."

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Hey Morgan. Okay, we're about to come back. We found a diary where he conveniently rambled about why he was doing everything all of his reasons."

"Well, why did he go after Kristy again? Why did he wait?"

"According to what we've gone through so far, he didn't want to do something on the anniversary of the funeral, which is why he quit on March 7. He decided to go after Kristy because he didn't feel that she truly got the message. He rambled for days about whether or not to do it." Hotch stated. "It's going to take a while to read through it all."

"Okay. Do you need our help?"

"No. We should be good."

"Okay then… JJ? What's going on?"

Morgan suddenly stopped speaking.

"Morgan? Are you still there?"

"Hotch, I think you need to get down here." Morgan said quietly.

"What?"

"No, scratch that. You need to get down here now." Morgan nearly yelled as he flipped his phone shut.

"Morgan." Hotch exclaimed. "Gideon, we have to go back to the hospital."

"What for? Aren't they just talking to Kristy?" Gideon asked as he flipped through parts of the diary.

"Morgan didn't say. He did sound really urgent though." Hotch replied as he got his coat.

Gideon set the diary down and followed suit.

"What's going on?" Gideon asked in a friendly voice when he and Hotch met the others in the hallway where Reid's room was located. However, it only took one look from the others for him and Hotch to realize that such a voice was not meant for now.

"It's Reid." Emily simply said.

"Is he okay?" Hotch inquired in a worried voice.

"No." JJ whispered. "He quit breathing."

Hotch and Gideon were dumbstruck.

"What do you mean he quit breathing?" Hotch asked.

"I went into his room to tell him that we were leaving. I assumed he was asleep, and when I tried to wake him, he didn't move. He wasn't breathing either. I called for help, and doctors and nurses started rushing in." JJ replied. She tried to hold back her tears. It had scared her so much. Instead she just gave another shudder.

"Have the doctors said anything?" Gideon asked.

"No. They asked us to leave and have just kept walking by." Morgan replied with spite.

"Well, we'll see if they'll talk to us. Stay here." Hotch ordered as they headed back towards Reid's room.

"Agents." The doctor greeted them as she exited the room.

"Is he okay?" Hotch immediately demanded.

"It's a good thing he was here when it happened." She replied.

"What did happen?" Gideon asked.

"From what we can tell, he went into a respiratory depression. His respiratory rate is incredibly low, as well as his blood pressure, and his heart beat is irregular. These are all symptoms of narcotics and benzodiazepines."

"What?"

"Hydromorphone and Rohypnol. Only, if this is a reaction to the drugging, I think his body would have reacted earlier. We're running tests to see if it was something to do with what happened this morning."

"Could something have not appeared right away?" Gideon asked concerned.

"While it is possible, your machine should have picked up everything."

"What else are you doing?" Hotch asked.

"We had to put him on a ventilator. While he was actually breathing, it was so slow, it was incredibly hazardous. I should give you a fair warning, if he was like that for a long time, there's a small possibility of brain damage."

Those last words struck fear in Hotch's and Gideon's hearts. Reid without his brain? That was unfathomable. Reid was known for his intelligence. It didn't define him as a person, but it was a major part of him.

"Once we identify the cause, we'll try to reverse it. Then we can bring his bp, and breath rate back up."

"Can't you give him something to reverse the drugs now if that's most likely the case?" Hotch demanded.

"I can give him something to reverse the Rohypnol. I can give him something to reverse the Hydromorphone. I can't give him both, and I don't want to give him either until I know what I'm dealing with. We're watching him. He's going to be monitored very closely. When we find what's wrong, we'll reverse it."

"Is it all right if we see him?" Gideon asked in a near whisper.

"You can, but it's not like this morning. Until we find what's wrong and reverse it, he probably won't wake up. Also, there's going to be a lot more activity." She said as she turned around and walked away.

Hotch peered into the window on Reid's door. He was ghost white with tubes running all over his face. He could see the machine push the air into his frail body, and it made Hotch feel sick.

"Gideon, I don't think we should stay with him."

"What? Why not?"

"Because, think about, what are we going to do? The doctor said he's not going to wake up. Being in there won't help our morale."

"We have a team member down. Our morale has already taken a nasty blow."

"It just won't help."

"What do you propose we do?"

"Maybe Grimow changed something with this time. Kristy was the one who got away. He sat there and seethed about this for two days. We have two day's worth of diary entries to go through. He might have changed what was in the drugs, and he might have written it down."

"Okay. We'll get the others to help." Gideon said reassuringly.

He had no problem going in there with Reid. He was confused about why Hotch was so nervous and afraid to go near Reid. Come to think of it, Hotch had been just as nervous this morning. Gideon sighed. He and Hotch then approached the others.

"How is he?"

"What's going on?"

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He went into a respiratory depression. Once they figure out the cause, he'll be okay." Hotch answered.

"So what can we do?" Morgan asked with obvious frustration in his voice.

"We think that Grimow might have put something else in the syringe. We're going to go through his diary, see if he left anything. Or maybe he'll allude to something." Hotch stated.

"I'll help." Morgan volunteered.

"JJ, Emily, talk to Kristy. Grimow might have said something that she didn't understand then." Gideon ordered.

Emily and JJ nodded as they headed off towards the hall.

"Hey, JJ, you okay?" Emily asked quietly.

"Yeah. Not great, but I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"It, it just scared me. This whole day has been pretty scary. I mean, at first, Reid was missing. Then he was found, and he was unconscious, and then we got Kristy, and the whole Grimow thing, and now this. But, Emily, what if he got drugged again? I mean, isn't it possible that Grimow had an accomplice who came back? Couldn't-"

"JJ, calm down. The profile says that Grimow worked alone. Besides, Reid was never the target. He was an obstacle. Let's just talk to Kristy. Maybe by the time we get back, he'll be okay." Emily comforted her.

JJ nodded, and they turned into Kristy's room where she was sleeping.

"Hey Kristy." Emily shook her shoulder gently.

"Hm? Emily? JJ? Why are you two here?"

"Kristy, we need to ask you a few questions. Usually, we wouldn't wake you up, but they're really urgent." Emily urged.

"Okay." Kristy replied as she sat up in her bed.

"Kristy, did Grimow ever say anything about the syringe? Or what might be in it?" JJ asked.

"No, I don't think so. I tried to ask him about it, but he wouldn't listen. He was pretty much out of it."

"Did he say anything about harming Reid?" Emily asked.

"No." Kristy said defiantly. She paused for a moment. "What happened? And I mean a few months ago."

Emily and JJ stared.

"What do you mean a few months ago?" JJ pondered.

"I'm guessing that a traumatic event occurred in Reid's life one-two months ago. What was it?" Kristy asked.

"How do you…?" Emily asked.

"The way he reacted to the gun to his head thing wasn't the reaction I was expecting. He seemed way too scared to be an FBI agent who has a gun." Kristy said.

"Well, there was indeed an incident about a month ago." Emily said.

"We went to interview a witness on a case in Georgia." JJ began in a zombie-like tone.

"JJ, I can tell it." Emily insisted.

"He wouldn't talk to us. Reid figured out that he was the unsub. The guy went into the barn. We followed him, I went out front and Reid went out back. He met up with the unsub, who knocked him out and took him hostage." JJ continued. She was sure that pretty soon the tears would begin to flow.

"And you?" Kristy asked, her eyes wide.

"I met up with his dogs. I was fine, but he kept Reid for two and half days before we found him. Reid had been beaten pretty badly. He was dehydrated, and exhausted." JJ finished. "He hasn't been back that long."

Kristy had a pensive look on her face. To JJ, she appeared to be thinking through much of her monologue.

"That's terrible." She finally responded.

JJ and Emily nodded.

"What happened now?" Kristy asked.

"Reid may have possibly had a reaction to something. We wanted to know if the unsub told you he put something strange in the needle." Emily said. "Thanks for answering our questions. Sorry for waking you." She continued as she stood up.

"Wait, what did Grimow put in the needle this time?" Kristy asked with anticipation in her voice.

"Uh, Etomidate, Rohypnol, and Hydromorphone." Emily replied.

"Hydromorphone?" Kristy asked quizzically.

"It's similar to heroin." Emily responded.

Kristy looked down and appeared to be muttering something herself. Suddenly her eyes widened.

"I need to speak to Gideon. Now."

"Hey, got anything?" Morgan asked. They had only been looking a few minutes, but he was impatient. Reid was sick, and he hated being on the sidelines.

"No. This guy sure had anger management problems. He keeps ranting about these girls. He never spoke to them, but he accused of them being terrible people for every little thing they did. He must have stalked them for a long time." Hotch said. They were sitting in a fairly empty waiting room discussing what they were finding.

"Gideon." Emily called upon her entrance.

"Get something?" He asked hopefully.

"Not exactly. It's Kristy. She said that Grimow didn't say anything, but she also said she needs to speak to you. She pushed her way out of her room and begged JJ and me to let her see Reid. JJ is with her outside his room. She didn't want to go in. The thing is, she won't tell us what it is. She said she has to speak to you." Emily replied.

"Okay. Hotch, come on." Gideon said as they stood up.

"Kristy, you needed to speak to me?" Gideon inquired as he approached her. She seemed very off. She was standing outside Reid's room, staring in. JJ stood off to the side and looked very uncomfortable.

"Yes. Alone." She reiterated.

"Anything you can say to him, you can say to us." Hotch insisted.

Kristy stared at him directly in the eye.

"No. What I have to say can only be said to Gideon."

"Kristy," Gideon reasoned.

"No. I wouldn't ask you to leave if it wasn't for the best. I promise what I'm about to tell Gideon will be told to you all as well. In due time."

Hotch wanted to attempt to reason again, but Gideon motioned with his head that it would be best to leave. Hotch was pissed. What was so important that he couldn't hear it? Gideon was not the team leader. He stormed back to the waiting room with JJ and Emily. He expected Gideon would be back soon. Forty-five minutes wasn't what he was expecting.

"What is this about Kristy?" Gideon asked her calmly. "Why can't you speak to Agent Hotchner?"

"Because he's not ready to hear this. None of you truly are. But you're the closest."

"Why isn't he ready for whatever you're about to tell me?"

"Agent Gideon, do you know? Do you know about the danger your team is in?" Kristy asked him solemnly.

"What danger? There aren't threats against us."

"Not dangers from your enemies. The danger of yourselves."

"Kristy, what are you trying to say?"

Kristy looked at Gideon straight in the eye.

"Let's start with Agent Hotchner. He's slowly deteriorating from guilt."

Gideon was stunned at her pronouncement.

"What makes you say that?"

"His eyes. Eyes cannot tell lies while our body language can. Every time he looks at Reid, there's a look of guilt in them. It's only for a second. However, I think there's more to it. Has he seemed distracted lately?"

"A little. That doesn't mean anything about how he is feeling." Gideon reminded her.

"I told Reid that actions speak louder than words. Every person on your team, other than you, has problems that their actions are telling."

"Then why don't I know about it?"

"I'm sure you know some, like the happier ones. Not every person has a bad problem. But no matter what, they can be distracting."

"Educate me."

"Garcia likes Morgan."

Gideon smiled; who didn't know that?

"He likes her back. And he's clueless on what to do about it."

Now that surprised Gideon.

"His eyes light up every time he talks to her. But they show frustration after the call."

"Garcia could have had bad news."

"Not every time she calls. I only saw them talk a few times, but even through that you can see it. I'm sure you're aware of JJ and Reid."

"That they…?"

"Like each other. I don't know why they aren't dating."

Gideon made a mental note to talk to those two. He thought they had been seeing each other occasionally and never spoke about it.

"But those are the only good ones. Your others are much more serious, like Hotch. I fear a break-down if something isn't done soon. JJ, something's really wrong with her. Not only is it guilt, it's fear, anger, so many things. I think it's related to Reid's kidnapping."

"How do you know about that?"

"I made Emily and JJ tell me. JJ said that she was with Reid. I can understand why she would feel so badly. Now, Emily, it's quite interesting. She doesn't trust, well, any of you. She trusts Hotch and you the most, but it's not saying a lot."

"Kristy, how? Why?" Gideon stuttered. Why was a girl telling about all of these problems that his team had? What did she know?

"Emily-"

"No, why are you telling me all this?"

Kristy smiled.

"Your team needs to be ready for the last thing I have to say. If they're not, I don't know if they can handle it. I didn't want the others here because it will anger them more that it's me they would be hearing this from. It's Reid who should tell you."

"What makes you think I don't already possibly know?" Gideon asked.

"Gideon, if you knew this, well, your current situation would be a lot different." Kristy said. "I shouldn't be telling you this. It's not right. He should be."

She started to pace.

"Kristy, tell me. We'll figure out the other details later."

"But, Gideon, it's not right." She repeated. "I'm not right."

"Does it have to do with this?" Gideon asked as he gestured to Reid's room. Kristy nodded.

"I want him to tell you everything, mostly because I don't know why a lot of things have happened. I don't know why Hotch is feeling guilty. I don't know why Morgan can't ask Garcia out. I don't why JJ feels guilty, and I don't know why Emily wouldn't trust you." Kristy stammered. She looked into the window again. "Look on his right foot. In between his toes." She spat out. Kristy tried to leave.

"Kristy, what?"

"Do it."

"Kristy, wait. Stay here." Gideon ordered. She obeyed reluctantly, and Gideon went inside the room.

A few nurses had gone in and out while Kristy had been telling Gideon everything. One was still remaining, checking something on Reid's face went Gideon entered.

Kristy stood, watching outside the door. She hoped she had been wrong. Gideon talked to the nurse. Now, she was looking at him like he was crazy. However, she went ahead, pulled the covers back, and pulled off Reid's right sock. There were two bandages, one between his big and second toe, one between his second and third. The nurse pulled them off, and Gideon's look told Kristy that she had indeed been right.

Gideon looked back at her and stormed out the room.

"How long have you known?" He growled.

"I only figured it out when Emily said that Reid got hit with Heroin. I put it together."

"How did I not see this?" Gideon muttered to himself. It couldn't be true, this was Reid. He didn't do drugs.

"You were blinded by trust. I mean, look at Reid. He's not exactly the poster boy for future drug addicts."

"Don't say that. He's not an addict."

"Ask him yourself. I'm sure that's what the drug screen will come back to say."

"You said that Prentiss doesn't trust any of us."

"Yes."

"Then she wasn't blind. Why didn't she see this?"

"She was probably more aware. But, I'm sure no one was expecting this." Kristy said. She peered into the window again.

"Even if he has been taking drugs, we don't know it is related to this." Gideon said hopefully.

Kristy nodded.

Gideon had now started to pace. How long? When did he start? How was this possible? What else didn't he know? Kristy turned around and left. This time, Gideon didn't protest. Instead, he went back into Reid's room.

Gideon was torn between two images. One was the Reid that had first come to the BAU, at the small age of 21. He was so innocent. The other was the image of his foot, with so many needle marks in it. He didn't know which one to believe. Staring down at Reid, he hoped that it was the first one. Maybe there was logical explanation for all of this.

Gideon's eyes traveled the room. He then spotted Reid's satchel and realized that he maybe wouldn't have to wait for the doctor. After rummaging through the front pockets, he found it. Two small glass bottles and a needle.

His slid into a chair. Reid really had been willingly taking drugs. This was making its way into Gideon's head when the doctor entered again.

"Agent Gideon, his screen came back. We found an-"

"Excess amount of Dilaudid." Gideon finished for her.

"Uh, yes. An overdose amount. As we speak, a nurse is getting some Naloxone, it will reverse it enough to improve his symptoms."

"What's going to happen next?"

"Well, the nurse told me about what you found. I can advise you on programs and other ways to help him."

"Not about that. What will happen tonight?" Gideon asked. He didn't want the other to know. Ever. Of course, that was impossible. But Gideon wanted to hold off for as long as he could.

"Well, he might wake up, but tonight's going to be rough. I would like to move him so we'll be able to watch him more closely. His body is going to have to recover. Is that what you wanted me to say?"

Gideon looked up at her.

"No. Yes, well maybe. My team members aren't ready for this."

"You're going to have to tell them."

"Yes. But not tonight. We have some other things to work on first." Gideon said standing up.

"If you want, I can tell you team members that we don't want anyone to see him tonight. We can also start running test to assess the damage. He probably won't be awake for much of the night. Come by tomorrow. He should be ready." The doctor replied.

"Thank you." Gideon walked off quietly.. He didn't know where he was heading, but he found a different empty room that was also empty. Collapsing into a nearby chair, Gideon finally let out a sob.

***

After a half hour, Gideon finally felt ready to return to the others. Although he didn't check first, he felt that he looked normal enough for the others not to suspect what he had been doing. He had a plan ready.

"Gideon what happened?"

"What did Kristy say?"

"Where have you been?"

"What's going?"

"Why can't we see him?"

Gideon noticed that the diaries had been set down, indicating that the doctor had already spoken to them.

"He's…he's going to be fine. It's late, we're tired. Let's go back to the hotel." Gideon replied as he started to leave.

"Wait, Gideon, you gotta at least tell us something." Morgan yelled going after him.

Gideon stopped.

"I'll talk to you, when we get back." Gideon answered. He continued to leave.

Gideon decided to start with JJ and Emily. If Kristy was right, and she had proven herself to be close the majority of the time, then Gideon wanted to solve the problems of the others tonight as much as possible. They could deal with Reid tomorrow.

"Gideon?" Emily answered.

"Can I talk to you privately?"

"Uh, yeah." Emily answered as she shut the door. They walked down to the lounge which was thankfully vacated.

"Is Reid-"

"How have you been doing? You know, adjusting to the BAU?"

"What?"

"How have you been handling this?"

"Uh, okay I guess. What does this have to do with Reid?"

"I never said this was about Reid. I'm here to talk to you."

"Uh, all right."

"Emily, do you feel comfortable with us?"

"Yes." She replied, but with a moment's hesitation.

"More than colleagues. With the BAU, you start to become close. It's one of those jobs where you get close to the people you work with, you become friends, even family."

"Well, I'm not to that point yet." Emily said. "But I am really enjoying it. And I'm enjoying getting to know you guys." Only, her voice didn't sound sincere. She seemed to be faking it. "Gideon, what are you getting at?"

"Emily, I just wanted to make sure that you are completely comfortable with the team. We've taken our time to adjust, and I wanted to make sure that you had as well." Gideon replied.

Emily started to look away. She turned her head down.

"Well, I guess I'm not completely comfortable. I mean, I do trust you as agents. I know that you've got my back when we're in the field. But, I guess, when it comes to more personal things, I don't really trust you guys."

"May I ask why?"

"I've never really trust anyone I guess. Kind of a learned habit from when I was a kid. But when I first joined, I thought that was going to change. You guys were really accepting, and I knew about what happened to Elle. I felt bad about taking her place."

"What changed?"

"Well, Reid started to act funny."

Gideon's blood started to run cold. If she knew and didn't say anything…

"And then he said something that made me question just how well I knew the team." Emily continued.

"What?"

"We were working on the case in Houston, and I told him that I've never seen him act like the way he was. He told me that I've only known him for a few months, and that I had no way to really know."

"He was probably frustrated or angry."

"But he was right Gideon. I don't really know any of you. And I noticed that the others were changing slightly, and I began to fear that the way you guys were acting at first was, like, a happy façade, and that you would slowly show your real selves. I know that it's pathetic, and irrational at best, but I've gotten hurt trusting others. I didn't want to give people who I don't even know my trust."

"Is that why you questioned whether or not Reid ran off?"

"Yeah."

Gideon considered this for a moment.

"You can trust us Emily. We may not always do what's right, we're only human, but we've shown you who we are. That's subject to change sometimes, especially with our moods. And don't worry, we won't hurt you."

Emily nodded. Gideon and she talked some more, not so much about what she was going through, and not about Reid. When she left, Gideon asked her to bring JJ down.

When JJ entered, she looked her eyes were puffy, but her voice was calm and strong. It was much more like her press conference voice than her normal, everyday voice.

"You wanted to speak to me?" She greeted him.

Gideon repeated the same process. Only, JJ cracked much more easily than Emily.

"I feel guilty a lot of the time. I mean, if we had stuck together, Reid wouldn't have gotten kidnapped." JJ said, tears flowing down her face. "He told me not to feel bad, but I just can't."

"JJ, you didn't cause it."

"I know that. I understand that. I just don't believe it. It comes back to me in my nightmares. Sometimes it's just Hankel's dogs. Others, it's Reid. Only it's worse, worse than what really happened. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in a long time."

Then it was apparent to Gideon. JJ had a lot of makeup, too much, underneath her eyes.

"And I get angry when you can tell, you can tell when you look into his eyes that he's hurting. It just makes me so pissed." JJ stated as she stood and began to pace.

Gideon realized then just how much she really did care about Reid. He often thought of the younger members as brothers and sisters. This meant that he and Hotch were the parents, and he didn't know who would claim to be the mother. But, now, he saw that JJ and Reid were much more than that.

"JJ, you care for Reid. Does he know?"

JJ laughed.

"We haven't really talked about something like that since our date last year. Don't ask. We made this pact to not discuss it." JJ replied with a smile still on her face. "In the end, it was a decision made on both parts to not go forward."

"That was then. How do you feel now?"

JJ didn't know what to say. She had no problem continuing her relationship with Reid. But, did he? They really had never discussed something like that in such a long time. Her life had moved forward, a date every now and then. She also knew that Reid's had too. But maybe, just maybe, it was time to bring it up again.

"I don't know. Well, I know how I feel. I just don't know if it matters."

"JJ, what you feel does matter. Keeping your anger bottled, your guilt, your fear, it will come back to bite you."

"I know. I didn't think there was ever a good time to bring it up. We've been busy lately, and there have been bigger things to worry about."

Gideon comforted JJ, and got her composed again. He walked back with her to her room, and he knew that she was doing much better by the time he had. Feeling that his team was already healing, he headed to Morgan and Reid's room.

"Gideon?"

"Can I come in?"

Morgan let him through. The TV was on, but too low to hear. It appeared that Morgan had just been sitting on his bed.

"Need something?"

"How you been holding up?"

"Me? Fine."

"Not just today, I mean lately."

"Fine." Morgan said, but really gave off any message but. "Are you going to tell me anything about Reid?"

Gideon shook his head. Morgan looked pissed and sat down on his bed. He peered off into space.

"Girl trouble?"

Morgan looked taken aback, but then chuckled.

"Yeah, I wish that was it though." He looked down at Reid's empty bed. "Been a little more lately."

"Morgan, I'm right here. Talk to me."

"Well, lately, I've been trying to get this girl. I lost my nerve every time I tried to talk to her. Then this happened, and I've been feeling bad because I should have been there for Reid. I don't know, I guess I feel I've been selfish because I'm worrying about something so dumb."

"Do you really care about her?"

"Yeah." Morgan replied with a smile.

"Then it's not dumb. Real, true care for another person, it's never dumb." Gideon replied with a fatherly smile.

It pleased Gideon that this was so simple. JJ really scared him when she started talking about nightmares. Emily's had been simpler than he imagined as well. He and Morgan talked for a while longer. Gideon never revealed to Morgan that he knew who he liked. Morgan kept trying to get Gideon to talk about Reid, to which he refused. There was only one more person who needed to know about him tonight.

"You decided to come back." Hotch said as Gideon entered the room again.

"Hotch, we need to talk."

"Good."

"Not about Reid. We will. I promise. Hotch, how have things been with Haley and Jack?"

Hotch was so surprised by Gideon's question, he wasn't able to hide his horrified look when he thought about home.

"Hotch?"

"Well, not fantastic."

"Aaron, are you and Haley….?"

"We're not splitting up. Yet."

"What?"

"We've been fighting more lately. I haven't been home as much lately, and when I am, it feels like I'm on eggshells. I don't know. I used to be able to have a good home life and professional life, but now I can't. And, I do think that at this rate, Haley and I could someday, well, split up."

"Hotch, if you needed time or couldn't go on a case, why didn't you say something?"

"Because I still have to do my job."

"Taking a break doesn't mean you're not doing your job. Hotch, family is more important than any job."

"Can we truly say that Jason? Look at our job. We try to save people's lives. We can't say that they're less important."

"Aaron, you have to save your own life. Haley and Jack are the two best things you have. Don't lose them."

Hotch nodded. He then looked away, as if he was thinking about something.

"I think we should give everyone a break when they get back." Gideon said after a few moments.

"Why?"

"We're all trying to heal." Gideon then went into a minor description of what everyone was going through. "And, feeling guilty for Reid is a major part of everyone's problems."

"Put me on that list."

"Hotch,"

"Save it. I know the facts. I know that none of us caused it, but it doesn't help Jason."

"Well, Hotch, it's about to get worse."

"Why?"

Gideon sighed, stood up, and went over to his coat. He had taken the vials with him. After pulling them out, he handed them over to Hotch.

"Jason, what are these for?"

"I found them in Reid's bag."

"Found? As in…?"

"Yes."

"Reid?"

"Yes."

Hotch sunk down into his bed.

"No. Not Reid. Not him."

"Hotch, I had a nurse look at his foot. There were dozens of needle marks in between his toes."

"He hid this from us?"

"Would Reid ever come out into the open about something like this?"

"No, but this is huge. I mean, these are drugs, and it's Reid. Wait, is this why he passed out? Is this why he quit breathing?"

Gideon nodded. "He overdosed."

Hotch just began to shake his head.

"Jason, what are we going to do? What can we do?"

"He needs help. We'll figure out the details later."

"Jason, procedure says that I have to fire Reid. I can't do that." Hotch stammered.

"We'll make sure you don't have to. If we get the help he needs, give him a few months off, he'll come back Hotch."

"What did the doctor say? Do we know how long? How it started? How did he hide this? How did we not know?"

"No. She said that tonight was going to be rough for him, and they were going to run tests tonight. We can see him tomorrow."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Hotch, this is heroin. He's going to have to detox before we can take him back. I think that tomorrow, we need to talk to him first. Get the full story. After that, I think he needs to talk to the others. I didn't tell them anything. I think that should be up to Reid. Hotch, it's best for everyone to go home tomorrow. We're done with the case. The girls, they're starting to heal. The unsub's down. I'll stay with Reid, until he's ready. We'll come back, and we'll get him help."

"Are you sure? I mean, we all want to stay, until he's better."

"Hotch, Reid isn't going to want us crowding over him. Not now, especially not now."

Hotch nodded.

"Jason, how? How did we not see this?"

"I don't know." Gideon replied sadly.

***

Reid began to feel consciousness set in. It felt different than last time though. Now, he felt cold. Instead of JJ's hand entwined with his, there were tubes and other hard objects running all over his body. The hospital smell was still there. Then he put it together and snapped his eyes open.

He couldn't talk. There was a tube down his throat. Tubes were indeed running all over his face and arms. He could feel patches attached to his chest and head. Monitors and other machines were around him. He then saw that he was no longer in the same room. Instead, he was in a more open space. It took Reid a few minutes to recognize that the table was a nurses' station. Which only meant…

"Hey, you decided to wake up." A male nurse was standing next to him, smiling. Reid tried to answer but the tube down his throat was obstructing this act. "That's okay. I'll talk to the doctor. Your respiratory rate should be high enough now." He turned and left.

'Respiratory rate? Breathing tube? Did I pass out?' Reid looked around for some information. 'Where's the team? What time is it? What's going on?'

Another man accompanied the nurse when he returned.

"Okay, Mr. Reid, I think we can remove this tube now." He said as they both began to move around. A few minutes later, Reid could feel the tube painfully come out of his chest. "Okay, I'm going to need you to cough it out."

Cough? For Reid, it was more like trying to spit while having to breathe at the same time. He was gasping for breath when they finally got it out. They immediately put an oxygen mask over his face. After a few minutes, Reid felt he could breathe normally.

"What's going on?" He wheezed after removing the mask.

"Shh. Best to give your throat a rest for a while." The nurse encouraged as he gave Reid some water, which Reid was grateful for. He was feeling alert enough to notice some of the finer details of what was around him.

He saw that there was a chair next to his bed. Someone could have possibly been here before. How late was it? Reid's satchel was sitting on the chair. But something was wrong; the front pocket was open. The wrong pocket to be open.

Reid panicked. He wiggled the toes on his right foot. Instead of feeling his sock, he felt bed sheets. The band-aids that he always made sure were there were gone as well.

'They know. That's why they're not here.' Reid was happy that the nurse and doctor were not asking him to speak. His world was crashing down. 'I've been fired by now. There goes my life. What will the others think? What will I do now?'

"Mr. Reid? We have to get a MRI scan." The doctor said as he and the nurse began to move Reid's bed.

'MRI?'

"What?" Reid managed to whisper.

"You went into a respiratory depression. We don't know long you were going with as little oxygen as you were, so we need to make sure that there wasn't any brain damage." The doctor explained.

Reid passed out.

"The plane will be here tomorrow. I already called the others to tell them to pack. I also told them that we're going to see Reid." Gideon told Hotch.

After Gideon shared Reid's predicament with him, Hotch had been sitting on the bed, too shocked to speak. Gideon had taken care of calling the office for the plane.

"Hotch, talk to me."

"I was thinking about how we're going to deal with this back at Quantico."

Gideon became extremely nervous. When he had first said that he couldn't fire Reid, Hotch was shocked and scared. Gideon had only said that he wouldn't have to fire him because he had needed Hotch to concentrate on other matters. Even if Reid was no longer going to be an agent, Gideon knew he was still going to need their help. However, Gideon didn't think that Reid was going to be allowed to stay. It hurt him to think that, but he didn't see any way that it would work.

"Gideon, you were right that we're going to help him. He'll recover; we'll make sure of that. But, the FBI does not stand for drugs at all. You know that. I don't want to fire him Gideon. I mean, this is pretty much all he has. He's dedicated to this job. He's not the kind of person I should be letting go." Hotch said looking Gideon in the eye.

"I know Hotch."

"And yet, I have to do it." Hotch sighed.

Gideon walked over to Hotch. At a loss of words, Gideon just clapped his shoulder.

Reid awoke a while later. He saw lights passing above him, and could feel himself moving. Then it hit him; respiratory depression, brain damage, MRI scan.

'I feel normal. Surely nothing happened. How much did I take? I just wanted to escape, not lose my brain!' Reid could feel a sob start to come up. He suppressed it, but he did get the attention of the nurse.

"Hey. We're taking you back now." He greeted Reid cheerfully.

'If something truly horrible had happened, he wouldn't be that chipper. Unless I went so far backwards that he can be like that to me…'

"What time is it?" Reid asked, deciding to be neutral.

"About one in the morning."

'1 a.m.? I was talking to Kristy at 4 p.m. What did I do?'

"What happened?" Reid asked again as they approached the area he woke up in again.

"Well, one of your team members found you passed out in your room. Your respiratory rate was low, and so was your bp. They did a drug test; sir, you overdosed on Dilaudid."

'That's how full the needle was? What did I do?' Reid cringed.

"We've been giving you something to counteract it for hours. Your vitals went up, and they are no longer at dangerous levels. We just did your MRI. The doctor's looking at it now, but you should be fine. Your team said that at most you were alone a half hour and Dilaudid needs some time to work. Besides, you're conversing quite normally, and you appear to be digesting this information. I'm sure everything will be fine." The nurse replied as he finished settling Reid back in.

"Did, did my team find out?" Reid asked timidly.

"I'm not for sure who found out what, but I know that at least one man on your team knows."

'Hotch or Gideon? Hotch will be pissed; Gideon will be disappointed. Which one's worse?' Reid worried himself into a fitful rest. He didn't think he was going to get much of that in the next few days; detox of Dilaudid caused sleep difficulties.

Hotch and Gideon were waiting for the other members of the team the next morning. They had decided to go to the hospital as early as they could, especially since they didn't know how long this could take.

The tension between the members, while present, was different. Gideon noticed that everyone seemed to be more relaxed, save Hotch. Maybe Kristy was right; maybe because they had taken care of their personal issues, or started to, they would be more prepared for Reid.

"We're going to speak to him first." Hotch ordered as they walked in the hospital.

"Hotch, Gideon, what's going on? Come on, he's our friend too, we deserve to know." Morgan pleaded as he and the others begrudgingly returned to the waiting room.

"I don't think they heard you." JJ said quietly. Hotch and Gideon had taken off without even responding to Morgan's outburst.

Reid saw Gideon and Hotch coming. He immediately tensed up and started to sweat a bit. Luckily, they had to ask to see Reid, and when the nurse heard who they were, he had to talk to them for a few minutes. The whole thing was so nerve wracking. Finally, they were able to get away.

"Reid." Gideon greeted.

Gideon looked disappointed; he knew. Hotch looked angry, disappointed, and sad; did he know? He had to by now, especially if Gideon did.

Reid tried to respond, but fear and nervousness had temporarily made it impossible to speak.

"The MRI came back. You're fine."

Reid was too scared to care.

"Reid, last night I found these in your bag." Gideon pulled out the vials. Reid started trembling; it was all over now. "We wanted you to tell us first what's really happening."

"What?" Reid stared at Gideon and Hotch. What were they after? They knew he was doing drugs. What would change how it happened?

"We want to know what happened, but we want to know what you have to say about it. Reid, when did this start? How did it start?" Hotch asked.

Reid thought for a minute, trying to compile the history of the last month.

"When we were in Georgia, Tobias injected me three times." Reid found it more difficult to talk about than he thought. Then again, no one knew that Tobias had done this.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Hotch demanded.

"Because of what I did after I shot him." Reid whispered. The tears were coming; Reid wasn't going to try to stop them this time.

"What Reid?"

"I went back to Tobias's body and grabbed the vials he left."

Hotch and Gideon were both shocked. They had wanted to hear that it was all an accident or set up.

"Reid, no. You didn't!" Hotch exclaimed.

Reid could only nod. "I don't know why I did it. I guess I wanted them on some level." Reid continued. "I mean, why else would I do it?"

"Reid, you-" Hotch tried to growl.

"What happened next?" Gideon interrupted. He knew that Hotch was getting angry, but at the moment it wasn't going to help.

"Well, I got out of Georgia a few days later. Then, you know that I took my break. I did some research. Dilaudid can become addicting quickly. My body was reacting negatively to its withdrawal. I also found that to help, you can wean yourself off. I decided to try it. Everyday while I was home, I took a little and tried to get it smaller. But suddenly, the withdrawal symptoms were catching up with me, and the doses quit going down as much. A few days later, they weren't going down at all, and a few days after that, I upped it a bit. Things have been spiraling since. Then, last night I started getting flashbacks, and I wanted to escape. I filled the needle too much." Reid finished sobbing. "I'm sorry."

Hotch and Gideon were at a loss. What could they say? They had never, and thought they would never, have to deal with a situation like this.

"We are too." Gideon finally uttered.

"What for?"

"Not seeing it. We could have helped you a lot sooner than this."

"Gideon, it's not your fault. I took them. I knew what they could do. I never thought that I would have sunk as low as I have in the last few weeks, but I still knew."

"Reid, how did you hide it?" Hotch asked struggling to stay calm.

"I took it right before I went to sleep, so by the time I woke up the effects were over. I tried to not use them on a case, but I couldn't handle it this time." Reid answered. He purposefully left out the part about Walgreens. He was guilty for that, not the pharmacist.

The three of them were silent for a few minutes.

"Reid, I, I have to…" Hotch began to say.

Reid wiped his eyes. "My badge is in my bag."

Hotch slowly went over and grabbed it. No matter how angry he was, he hated taking it. "Reid, we'll help you anyway we can." Hotch added.

Reid nodded but it didn't look sincere.

"Reid, the others don't know yet." Gideon continued.

"Why not?"

"We didn't think it would be best to tell them."

Fear grew inside Reid when he realized what Gideon was saying.

"I don't know if I'm ready to tell them." Reid stammered.

"Reid, the others and I are going back to Quantico at noon. They won't get to see you for some time. They want to talk to you." Hotch gently told him.

Reid thought about it for a minute. In his heart, he knew Hotch was right. He wanted to talk to them too. There would be no use hiding this from them now. Besides, they would all be angry if someone else told them something like this. But, he could barely admit to himself that he had a problem; could he really face Morgan, JJ and Emily and tell them?

That question was answered for him. The nurse came back to inform Reid that he would get to go back to a normal room now. Hotch got the room number and went back in the direction that he and Gideon had come from. Reid could feel himself trembling again.

"Finally!" Morgan nearly yelled when Hotch returned. They stood up without being told what was happening.

"Guys, you-"

"Hotch, we're going to see him." Morgan said firmly.

Hotch looked at their faces. Morgan was angry, and scared. JJ's mirrored his other than not being angry. However, Emily looked concerned, and confused. No matter what, they were all adamant. Hotch knew there was no reason to fight. He led them through the wings and hallways.

When Gideon saw the others enter, he gave Reid one last squeeze of the shoulder. Reid was obviously scared, but Gideon had faith in him. He knew that Reid didn't want Gideon there to hear it all again, so he met up with Hotch outside the door.

"He requested rehab." Gideon stated quietly. The door was left open so they could see JJ nearly tackle Reid with a hug.

"What?"

"Reid said he wants to go to rehab."

"Is that a good or bad thing?"

"Good. Hotch, he wants to quit using."

"Will that make it any easier for him?" Hotch asked as he peered into the door. Reid had finally broken away.

"I'm afraid not. He never wanted to start. Reid has demons."

"Don't we all?"

Gideon knew the answer. He and Hotch were silent for a few minutes.

"Jason, I still can't figure it out. How did we not see it? We're profilers! We are the people who are supposed to be able to look at a person and know their life"

"I'm starting to think that Kristy was right on this one. She figured out that Reid was on drugs, how I don't know. But she also knew why we were clueless."

"Because it's Reid?"

"No. Because we were blinded by trust." Tears started running down Reid's face again. Hotch and Gideon saw the looks on the others' faces. Shock, anger, confusion, fear, sadness, it was all flying through that very small room.

"Hotch, we weren't looking for this. He passed the eval when he came back. We had no reason to think otherwise. In this line of work, we all get our wounds. We learn to heal them mostly on our own. We trust that if we can't handle them, we can lean on others. We all trusted Reid and thought that he would come to us if he needed us."

"It doesn't feel right to blame him."

"Don't think about blame. Blame causes anger. Anger has never resolved anything."

"Maybe so, but I can't help but feel somewhat responsible."

"Hotch, don't. It won't help anything. Right now, it will be your main job to make sure that you guys get home okay and to keep them together. We're all hurting from something. They're going to feel responsible too. Tell them as many times as you have to, they didn't cause this. Every one of us is going to have to recover from this and the blame-game will only make it worse. We'll make it. Reid will make it."

JJ looked ready to faint; Morgan was shaking his head. Emily just stood there with her mouth open. Noticing the time, Gideon motioned that they go in there and try to help.

Reid stared out the car window. The last 96 hours had been hell for him.

The others left on Saturday with lots of tears. After shocking them all pretty well with his secret, they had come back quite well. Never had Reid felt so much support and care in one room. While this would have embarrassed him on any other occasion, he accepted it.

Kristy came by later. She was leaving the hospital and wanted to say good-bye and thank you to Reid. He got her to tell him how she had figured it out. Apparently, the same situation where she saw people drink but never did it herself applied to drugs. She knew that Reid's clumsiness on the first day he met her was actually dizziness. She had seen JJ step on Reid's toe. She had seen people use heroin, and she had seen them use it in-between their toes. When Emily told her that he had been drugged with a heroin like substance, it was too much coincidence to ignore it.

After she left, everything seemed to slow down. However, it was only quiet for a few more hours. Reid started to get a fever, and then he began to puke again. Sometimes, he could barely stop shaking. Other times, he was sweating like crazy. And because he couldn't sleep, he was never out of emotional and physical agony.

The second day of it was the worst. His symptoms were intensifying, and Reid broke down. He got desperate and begged Gideon to give the drugs back. When Gideon tried to reason with him, Reid became angry. Never had Reid become extremely angry with Gideon, but that day, he almost hurt him. He had never felt so desperate, sick, helpless, and alone. After a few hours, Gideon calmed him down, but things were still tense. Reid cringed at this memory.

Things finally started to get better over the next day. The symptoms went down, and Reid began to feel more normal than he had recently. By the evening of the third day, the test results came back. The Dilaudid had moved out of his system for the most part. The doctor cleared him to leave.

To say Reid was nervous didn't even cover it. He had been jittery the entire plane ride. Unfortunately, his body was still recovering, and he had thrown up again on the plane. Other than that, everything had been going fairly smooth. They had stopped at his apartment first. Gideon assured Reid that everything would be taken care of while he was away.

'Away. Sounds like I'm going on a trip.' Reid had thought angrily to himself. 'Not to rehab.' Reid was most mad at himself. He had asked himself the same questions over and over for the last few weeks. Why did he do it? What compelled him to take the drugs?

At that moment, he was in a car with Gideon. They were headed for the Hillcrest Alcohol and Drug Abuse Institute, which was going to be Reid's new home. Reid assumed Hotch had set up the connections; usually it took longer than a few days to get in.

"Reid, why do you want to go to rehab?" Gideon asked suddenly.

"Because, I don't think I can take care of this with therapy alone." Reid answered after a minute. "I thought I had detoxed when I came home from Georgia. Gideon, I'm scared of what I'll do if I'm alone. I couldn't handle the pain so I used drugs. I may have taken them when I wasn't in my right mind, but I used them when I was. I don't trust myself anymore." Reid replied quietly.

Gideon let it rest there.

"We're here."

An hour later, Reid was alone with Gideon again. Only this time, they were in his new room.

"You gonna be okay?" Gideon asked nervously after a minute.

Reid nodded.

"Reid, we're all here for you. Don't hesitate to call if you ever need anything."

"I know."

"And, Reid, you're going to make it through this." Gideon assured Reid as he embraced him.

A minute later, Reid was alone again. It was the first time in nearly six weeks that he was alone, and he wasn't scared of himself. Gideon's words gave him hope as well as the team's support. He was going to come back from this.

***

JJ was walking around in her kitchen. It was very late. The team had just returned from Oklahoma City where a serial killer was going around murdering prostitutes. It took them a few days, but it had been a relatively short case. It had only been their third since their surprise break from Hotch. She had used that time to find a therapist, and already she was doing better. Her nightmares had severely lessened, and JJ felt she had been dealing quite well with everything.

She was tired, but she wanted to get caught up with everything. She had already checked her email and listened to her phone messages, but now she was going through the old fashioned mail.

"Junk, bill, bill, junk, ohh, this looks like a good ad." JJ muttered to herself. The next letter made her gasp though.

JJ stared at it for a few minutes. It was harmless. Written on the front was simply her address. There was no return address, but she didn't need that. She knew who this was from. She could recognize that handwriting any day.

JJ was scared to open it. It had been four weeks since anyone had last talked to Reid. Hotch went back a few days after Gideon dropped him off to check up on him. Before he left, Reid asked that he not be visited again until he asked. He said he needed to figure some things out, and he didn't feel up to seeing anyone else.

Everyone had gladly respected this. They didn't know what else to do. JJ still couldn't believe what Reid had told them. She never thought he could be using drugs. He was too… what? Innocent? Carefree?

Hotch had talked to everyone on the plane. JJ thought he was crazy when he said that they were wrong to blame themselves. As he put it, they weren't looking for it. They wouldn't have seen it. JJ spent a few days beating herself up, but she realized that Hotch was right. Even if she knew something of this magnitude was wrong with Reid, she wouldn't have thought drugs. Never in her wildest dreams would this have been her guess.

It had taken the rest of the team time to heal as well as it had hit everyone pretty hard. They weren't over it, not yet, but they were getting there. JJ had noticed that after they came back from the break, everyone seemed better when they were by themselves. However, that changed the minute that they had to go into the conference and Reid's voice was missed.

The pain was still there. And it wasn't going to go away for a long time because they all knew what came next; the replacement. They knew Hotch wouldn't agree for the new person until they were ready, but it was going to be sometime soon. Without Reid, the team was weaker. They could still function and do their job, but another person was soon going to be needed.

JJ missed him terribly. Reid was supposed to have been with her on the plane back tonight playing gin and laughing. It hurt her to think that he was never going to be back. Of course, she was going to see him again. She was going to make sure of that. However, things were never going to be the same.

JJ opened the letter as if it were a bomb. It was short and simple. She quickly scanned the first few lines. They were the usual pleasantries exchanged in letters, but the second paragraph caught her attention.

'I was wondering if you would come visit me. I would like to see you and talk to you. If you don't want to come I understand, but please think about it.'

JJ sat there and read those lines over and over. Reid wanted to see her. Her, not Gideon, Hotch, or Morgan. Her. They would have said something if they had seen Reid. If he had wanted to truly see them, surely he would have let them say something.

JJ scanned the rest of the short letter. He asked her to come the 14th, which happened to be the next day. She set the letter down.

'What would he want to talk to me about? What's going on?'

"How may I help you ma'am?"

JJ was standing at the sign desk of the rehab center that Reid was staying at. She was jittery. After reading his letter, JJ had been excited to see Reid. Now, she was nervous. The last time she saw Reid, he had told her that he was taking drugs. What did he want to talk about now?

"I'm here to see Spencer Reid."

"Okay, follow me please."

They hadn't dealt with too many cases where they had to come to rehab centers and that fact that it was Reid added a whole other level of weirdness. The building didn't look like a hospital. It was more like a, well, JJ didn't know what. People were everywhere. JJ was surprised at how many of them looked normal.

'Like Reid.' She thought bitterly. Finally, the nurse stopped in a lounge area. JJ spotted him immediately. He was reading a book, no surprise, but he didn't look like the last time she saw him. The circles under his eyes had disappeared, he was gaining needed weight, and his demeanor seemed better.

"Spencer, you have a visitor."

Reid immediately snapped his head up.

"JJ!"

JJ never thought a hug could feel so good. She didn't realized just how much she missed his arms, his voice, his smell, just him.

"Spence!"

"How are you?" He asked after he let go a minute later.

"Fine, but I should be asking you that."

"I'm good. Let's go to my room." Reid replied escorting her out.

When they entered his room, he ushered her onto the bed while he took the chair across from it. Being alone with him really got JJ nervous.

'Come on. You've been alone with Reid millions of times before. It's still him. He's still the man you want to be more than friends with.' JJ reminded herself.

"How have things been at the BAU?"

"Fine. It's not the same without you though. Reid, seriously, how have you been doing here? What have you been doing here?"

"JJ, I'm doing fine. Everyone has been really good to me. And, well, the majority of the time, it's therapy. Group, private, some form everyday. It's amazing some of the stories these people have. Only a few follow the drug addict stereotype." Reid trailed off. He was silent for a minute. "Hopefully, I'll be out by next week."

"Really? That's great!" JJ replied smiling.

"Yeah. I'll still be going to Narcotic's Anonymous meetings for a while afterward, but at least I'll be home. Ironic isn't it?"

"What?"

"That I'm going to NA, just like Tobias." Reid replied sadly.

"Spence, this is different."

"Is it? I mean, Tobias wanted to escape his father, so he took drugs. I took drugs because I wanted to escape painful memories."

"But Reid, you're not Tobias. First off, you're one person with one mind. And, you haven't killed anyone, and you're a good person. Plus, Tobias never quit using. You have."

Reid looked JJ square in the eye. She saw tears coming into his eyes.

"Thanks. JJ, thanks for coming. I mean, I screwed up, and you really didn't need to come-"

"Spence, I'm happy to be here. We're worried about you, and we miss you."

"I miss you guys too. I was going to wait until I got out to start seeing you guys again, but I wanted to see you sooner than that. I've spent the last few weeks trying to sort things out with me. Now, I have to sort some things out with you guys. I'll be lucky if it all works out, I mean, I was such a jerk to Emily. I wouldn't blame her if she never speaks to me again."

JJ felt her insides twinge. Reid was wrong on that. She figured that Emily felt guilty over her anger at Reid, so to compensate, she went with JJ every few days to Reid's apartment to check on things with her.

"This is really going to screw things up when I get back."

'Get back? What the…'

"You're….you're coming back? Didn't, didn't Hotch take your badge when we left?" JJ asked timidly.

Reid stared at her quizzically for a moment before standing up and going over to the little dresser in the corner. He pulled out something and brought it over to JJ. Sure enough, it was an FBI badge. But it was Reid's.

"Hotch came to talk to me a few days after I was admitted."

"I know."

"He gave it back."

"What? That doesn't-"

"Sound like Hotch, I know. I thought he was going to yell and lecture for hours about how I went against the core values of the FBI, that sort of stuff. Instead, he said I could return."

"Why? I mean, the FBI is against drugs. That's all they talk about at basic training." JJ reminded him, remembering her days at the academy.

"Yeah. Hotch said that after he went home, he started looking into some of the applications of the new people. According to him, he didn't think anyone was up to it." Reid said with amazement clearly in his voice. "He wanted me to come back, when I was ready of course."

"But, the Dilaudid, the FBI wouldn't allow for it."

"Hotch reviewed the manuals. According to them, the FBI doesn't allow illegal drugs. As Hotch put it, Dilaudid is legal."

JJ's mouth dropped.

"That…I just can't believe it. Wait, no. I can."

Reid stared at her. He had nearly fainted when Hotch had said that.

"Hotch was a lawyer at one time. All lawyers know how to look for loopholes." JJ explained with a smile. "But, you get to come back, and be part of the team again?" She continued excited.

"Well, according to the manuals, since Dilaudid is legal, I was to be disciplined for my actions, and the decision goes to the team leader. Hotch said that I could come back as long as I followed a set of guidelines that he made."

"Like…?"

"Well, obviously, if something like this happened again, there was no way I was coming back. I can't come back until I'm cleared by the FBI's shrink, and Hotch said he is evaluating me as well. I'll be on probation for who knows how long. Hotch only said as long as it takes. But I don't care. I'll stay on probation as long as I have to." Reid said adamantly. He was silent for a moment.

"It's terrible that it took me this much to realize how much losing this job meant. If Hotch hadn't come, I don't think I would have made it this far. Giving me back my badge gave me hope. I mean, I knew that if rehab was fun there would be more drug addicts. But those first few days were agony, more than I had expected. I had detoxed for the most part, but I was still in pain. There just didn't seem to be any reason to get better. I mean, what was going to happen when I got out? There was no job to go back to, no family to go back to. Starting over was going to be difficult. It was almost enough to make me want to use it again."

JJ was shocked to hear Reid talk like this. When had he morphed into this sort of person?

"But then Hotch came. And he gave me a reason to get better. I doubt I would even have a chance of going home in a week if he hadn't come." Reid said sadly.

JJ was silent. She couldn't believe it. Emotions and thoughts were racing through her head.

'Reid's coming back! Reid's coming back! Why aren't I happier?'

"JJ, you okay? Why haven't you said anything?"

"I'm fine Reid. Just shocked, I guess. I mean, we really thought you would never be back. No offense, or anything. I mean, we really want you back, but we thought it wouldn't happen-"

"JJ, I get it. But, it feels like something else is bothering you. What's up?"

"Nothing Reid. Well, I guess, it's just… There's something I wanted to tell you. Something I've wanted to say since we were in South Dakota, and I don't know if I should."

"JJ, it's okay." Reid came over and grabbed her hand. JJ looked into Reid's eyes. What she saw saddened her. Reid was expecting her to yell at him or be angry with him. Unfortunately, JJ wasn't so sure she wasn't.

The terrible feelings she'd had over the last few weeks about Reid's actions were coming back. She had tried to keep them at bay, and this was the worst time possible for them to appear.

"JJ, I would really like us to someday to get past this. If you don't say it, we won't be able to."

Those last few words scared JJ, enough to make her sure of what she wanted to say. She let go of Reid's hand.

"Did you know that it was me who found you?"

"No. They only said someone on my team found me. Why?"

"That scared me so much." JJ said. She wasn't really listening to what Reid had said after no. "I mean, you weren't breathing. The doctors and nurses just started running in and they pushed me out of the way, but I barely noticed it. All I saw was you. Then I started to realize how I would handle it if you weren't here. I thought that I had dealt with all of this when we were in Georgia. I mean, there, we saw you get CPR, and you almost died there too. But that night I decided I was going to tell you how I really felt Reid.

"But, then, Gideon started acting funny. And Hotch started acting funny. I only wanted to know if you were okay. I should have figured something was up. Then I got to see you. You told us that you stole drugs and were using them." The anger was really rising now. "You passed out from drugs Reid. I could barely understand that. I mean, you, you…"

"Overdosed" Reid filled in quietly. JJ nodded her head furiously.

"You almost killed yourself Reid." JJ bellowed. The anger at him for being so stupid had been getting to her for weeks. It wasn't Reid, not her Spence.

"I know JJ." Reid said quietly. "And, if you can't forgive me for it, I'll understand. If you don't want anything to do with me, I'll understand."

That statement stopped her anger.

"Reid, what makes you think that I wouldn't forgive you, or that I wouldn't want anything to do with you?'' JJ questioned softly.

"You still haven't said what you were going to tell me that night. I have a feeling that it's changed since we got back."

JJ was silent for a moment. He was half-right. She hadn't told him what she wanted to say. But, had it changed since they got back?

"Reid," JJ began slowly, "I was going to tell you how much I cared for you. I was going to tell you how much I liked you, and that I wanted to see if we could try going out again."

"And now?"

JJ was silent for a moment. In that moment, she made her decision. She went back to Reid, took both his heads into hers, and looked him in the eye.

"Spence, I am still angry with you over what you did. However, I will forgive you for it, and I still care for you. I also still want to try our relationship again. Being here, talking to you, it reminded me of something."

"What?"

"That you're still Reid. After you told us, I've had this thought in my head that you had changed, you weren't the same man that I cared about."

"But…?"

"Dilaudid can't change who you are, and because of that, I still care about you. And, someday in the near future, Spencer Reid, would you want to try going out again?"

Reid knew that at moment like this, he shouldn't have had thoughts of another woman in his head. However, in the minute it took him to formulate his response to JJ's surprising question, all Reid could think about was what Kristy had said. "Actions speak louder than words, Mr. Reid."

When JJ was later telling the team about her meeting with Reid, she never told them about the last thing she and Reid discussed. She told them about how well he was doing, how he was going to soon be out, how he was sorry, and how she thought things were going to be normal again someday, but she never did mention that Reid accepted her invitation by kissing her.

FIN

***

Next story in series - A Little Bit of Faith.

• Criminal Minds - home page
• New stories
• Reid/Morgan
• Reid/Hotch
• Reid/Gideon
• Hotch/Rossi
• Hotch/Morgan
• Hotch/Gideon
• Prentiss/JJ
• JJ/Garcia
• Prentiss/Garcia
• Morgan/Garcia
• JJ/Reid
• JJ/Morgan
• Prentiss/Reid
• Hotch/Prentiss
• Morgan/Prentiss
• Other pairings
• Gen stories