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Title: Bystander
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 17, Dirty
Author's Note: Sequel to "Ultimately Disappointed."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.


He'd expected to feel dirty. But he didn't, not really. Only a little .... disconcerted.

That was unusual, Will reflected. He usually felt guilty about anything sexual.

Maybe it was just because Hannibal was his first sexual partner, and the glow of it still hadn't worn off. But he wasn't feeling the usual guilt and shame over sexual thoughts.

He hadn't been able to get what they had done out of his mind. He had gone over and over it, studying every moment and wondering if he should have done something to try to make it better. Because, even though it had felt good in some ways, in others, it hadn't been a great experience.

Will was sure that it was nothing Hannibal had done. After all, the older man was an experienced lover. He had known exactly what he was doing.

Will had been the inexperienced one, stumbling along in the dark.

He had simply lay there and let Hannibal do what he wanted; he hadn't known what else to do. Maybe he should have moved around, or even asked questions. That might have made some things about the experience better for him; at least he would have .... well, participated.

He somehow felt that he had simply been a bystander in his own deflowering, a mute witness to something that he still wasn't entirely sure he had wanted to happen.

A part of him felt that what he and Hannibal had done was wrong; Hannibal was, after all, his psychiatrist, and weren't there some pretty strict rules about becoming involved with a patient?

He was sure that Hannibal could get into serious trouble for this, but the other man didn't seem to share any of Will's reservations. He seemed to feel that this had been inevitable, and Will was starting to reluctantly agree with him. It felt as though they had always been headed for this.

But that still didn't stop him from feeling somewhat unsettled when he thought about it.

Would a second time make him feel less dirty, take away that sensation of having done something wrong that was going to affect the rest of their lives?

Will's lips quirked in a slight smile as he realized that he would more than likely discover the answer to that very soon. He didn't doubt that he and Hannibal would end up having sex again -- only this time, he hoped that it was in a far more comfortable place, preferably a bed.

Now that he had dived into the world of sensuality, he wasn't quite ready to back away from it, even though he wasn't sure if Hannibal was the right guide for him to have.

Though at this point, Hannibal had pulled him into a whole new world.

And to his dismay, it was a world that he knew he could enjoy far too much for his own good.