Title: A Life-Changing Experience
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 17, Life
Author's Note: Sequel to "A Man Without Secrets."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
His life had changed so much since he met Hannibal.Will leaned back on the couch, smiling at the ceiling. It was still hard to believe that he was here, living with the man he loved, engaged to him.
How had this happened? How had he gotten so lucky as to fall in love with someone who actually loved him in return, someone who wanted to marry him?
It still seemed impossible. There were times when he wanted to pinch himself, when he was sure that he would wake up to find out that this was all a dream, that it had never happened, that he was alone with the dogs in his house at Wolf Trap, living by himself.
But it wasn't a dream. His life had taken a turn for the better, one that he would have never thought it could take even in his wildest dreams.
How many times had he told himself that he was some kind of freak of nature, that his unique ability made him destined to live his life alone, to never find love?
But that wasn't so. He didn't have to be alone. Not ever again.
He'd found the person he loved, the person who loved him back just as deeply. He was getting married. They were planning their wedding, a glorious, beautiful celebration.
It still hardly seemed real to him, but he knew that it was happenng. He was going to marry the man he loved more than he'd ever thought himself capable of loving anyone, and his life was only going to keep getting better. He would never go back to being lonely.
Just the thought of that loneliness made him shudder. He never wanted to feel that way again, so isolated, so cut off from human contact, from his own emotions.
He would never be that person again. That loneliness was gone forever.
It was amazing how falling in love had changed his life, Will told himself, a smile curving his lips. If anyone in the past he had told him that it would, he'd have scoffed at them, made some sarcastic joke and told them that love wasn't that simple, that it didn't change lives.
But that was before he had known about the power of love, and had experienced firsthand for himself just how powerful it was and what it could do.
Did Hannibal feel the same way? he wondered. Did his fiancé feel that his life had changed for the better since Will had come into it?
Of course he did, Will told himself firmly. If Hannibal didn't feel that way, then he wouldn't have asked Will to marry him; he wouldn't even now be planning their wedding. He wouldn't be so overjoyed at the thought of the two of them being united in matrimony.
Both of their lives had changed for the better.
Things would get even better after the wedding; he was sure of that. His life was on an upward trajectory, and he didn't think anything could stop it.
Though of course, he had to wonder if Hannibal would still want him to work with the FBI and utilize his empathy once they were married. That was the one fly in the ointment of his current happiness -- not knowing what his fiancé might have planned for their future together.
He didn't want to stop working in the field. He didn't want to stop helping people. He loved teaching, but that wouldn't be enough. He needed more from his work.
He had to feel that he was doing something constructive.
Will sighed, knowing that wasn't the crux of the problem. What he had to do was catch the Chesapeake Ripper. Once he had done that, then he could relax.
Once that goal had been accomplished, then he could walk away from his work in the field. He would be able to feel that he'd done the most that he could possibly do.
Hannibal had to be all right with that, Will thought with a sigh. They would have to talk about it, and he'd have to explain to his fiancé how important it was to him for that chapter of his life to be over and done with, a closed book that he could walk away from.
He loved Hannibal dearly. The other man had changed his life. But this was one aspect that couldn't change; he would have to be ready for that change before he could let it occur.
And he wasn't ready for it. He knew that, and he was fairly sure that Hannibal did, too. But they would have to talk, to be sure that they were on the same page.
It really wasn't a conversation that Will relished having.
Still, he had no choice in the matter. This was something that would eat away at him for the rest of his life if he walked away and left the case unsolved.
He couldn't do that. Not to Jack and the team, not to all of the people who had suffered and died at the hands of such a monster, and not to their loved ones, the people who needed some closure. And most of all, he couldn't do that to himself.
It would color his whole future if he left this case unsolved and didn't have closure for himself. He would never be completely happy. It would always haunt him.
He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't risk his own happiness -- or Hannibal's.
They would have to talk about this at some point, and the sooner, the better, Will told himself, sighing again. It would more than likely be another life-changing conversation.
But it was one that they had to have. And there was no time like the present, he thought as he got to his feet and went in search of the man he loved.
This wouldn't be an easy conversation.
Not when the rest of his life depended on the outcome.
***
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