Main Hannibal Fan Fiction page | new stories page | Will/Hannibal slash page | other pairings page | gen stories page
Title: Neither Use Nor Ornament
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Author's Note: Sequel to "Choices To Be Made."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***What exactly was he to Hannibal?
Will had to wonder about that. He had no idea where he stood in his lover's life, or even if Hannibal wanted to continue their relationship for more than physical reasons.
What purpose did he serve in Hannibal's life? What did he mean to his lover? It still disconcerted him to remember that look Hannibal had given him after their first time together.
That look had been terrifying. It was as though Hannibal saw him as some kind of victim, someone to be used and then thrown away. Will wasn't going to think of himself in that manner; he was a partner in this relationship, and he wanted Hannibal to view him as such.
Was Hannibal the kind of man who could never see anyone as being equal to him? If that was so, then Will was sure that this relationship would be over before it had really begun.
He wouldn't be involved with anyone who refused to see him as an equal, and he had to make Hannibal understand that. He wasn't going to be subservient to his lover.
But Hannibal probably didn't see him in that light.
Will was fairly sure that Hannibal wasn't prepared to see him as an equal. Hannibal more than likely saw him as nothing more than someone to bend to his will.
Why was he thinking of his lover in this way? He bit his lip, his fingers tightening around the pen that he held. It took him a few moments to realize that he was clutching that pen so tightly that his knuckles were white; he was letting all of the stress in his life get to him far too much.
Wasn't a love affair supposed to be something that he'd look forward to, something that relaxed him and made him feel happy rather than stressed out?
Maybe it would if he wasn't trying to second-guess everything about it.
Will sighed, dropping the pen and running a hand through his tousled curls. He was supposed to have a session with Hannibal tonight, and he didn't know where it would lead.
That thought made him nervous. Would Hannibal expect him to go upstairs with him and go to bed after they'd had their talk? Was that how things would always end with them now?
He didn't want to be seen as nothing more than a sexual plaything, and he couldn't help thinking that was how Hannibal looked at him now. He'd made the choice to start this, taken the lead for once. But somehow, everything had turned upside down, and he didn't feel that he had any control.
That was the crux of their relationship, really. It was a power struggle, a fight for control. Will had tried to grab onto that control -- and so far, he'd failed miserably.
He should have expected that, shouldn't he? Will asked himself. Hannibal had been used to those kinds of struggles for much longer than he had.
He should have realized that wresting any kind of power from Hannibal, having the upper hand in anything, was going to be next to impossible. And he should never have thought he, with as little experience in the ways of physical relationships as he was, could take control there.
Still, he wasn't going to just sit back and let Hannibal dictate their relationship, Will thought, his jaw hardening as he clenched his teeth. He wasn't going to be completely submissive.
He'd have to let Hannibal guide their relationship at the beginning. But he wasn't going to be a puppet, always letting his lover pull the strings and make the decisions.
Would Hannibal let him have control in any area of their relationship?
That was a good question, he thought with a soft sigh. And he was fairly sure that he already knew the answer to it; there was no use in even asking.
Hannibal wasn't the kind of person who would let anyone else get the better of him, or take control in any situation. He had already discovered that just from working in the field with him on the few times that Hannibal had consulted with the FBI. Hannibal liked being in control, taking charge.
He himself had never been a take-charge kind of person. It was why his work in the field got to him so much; he'd much rather be in the background, working behind the scenes.
He couldn't do that now. He had to assert himself.
What use would that be? Would Hannibal simply brush him off and continue to treat him as though he was some kind of possession, something that was neither really use nor ornament?
Hannibal didn't need him as an ornament. He couldn't add to his lover's cachet in any way, or make him look good. In fact, people would probably just why Hannibal was with him.
And he really wasn't any use to Hannibal, other than as a lover, someone to scratch a physical itch with. He didn't think that Hannibal was in love with him; yes, Hannibal considered them friends, and now more -- but that didn't meant that love was entangled in those feelings.
The only thing that Hannibal could get from him was physical satisfaction, and a sort of companionship. But the latter was something that Will didn't feel he gave.
Hannibal was so quiet about his personal life; he didn't give up any information about himself, even when he was asked. He always answered a question with another question.
No, he wasn't much use to his lover, except as a kind of stress reliever.
The truth was, he wanted to be more than that to Hannibal. He wanted Hannibal to .... to fall in love with him. He wanted to mean something to the man who was now his lover.
Was he himself in love with Hannibal? Will didn't know. He didn't have enough experience with matters of the heart to know just how he felt. But he felt something beyond mere friendship, something that was more that just physical desire. He just didn't know if it was love.
Whatever it was, he wanted Hannibal to feel the same. And there was probably no way of finding out if he did. Hannibal didn't reveal his emotions easily.
He'd just have to find a way to coax those emotions out, that was all.
Will's lips quirked in a slight smile; that would be easier said than done, and he knew it. But he'd never been one to back down from any kind of challenge.
He would find out how Hannibal felt about him. And he would be more than merely an ornament in his lover's life. He would find a place there, and finally feel as though he belonged.
- Main Hannibal Fan Fiction page
- new stories page
- Will/Hannibal slash page
- other pairings page
- gen stories page