Title: As True As This
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: past Jack/Doctor
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Cadenza challenge, 5_prompts
Prompt: Chorus -- Something as true as this
Author's Note: Continuation of I Walk Alone.
Warning: previous non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

"Are you back for good?"

The question was put to the tall, blue-eyed man in flat, emotionless voice, as though the man asking it had no interest in the answer one way or the other. Neither of them looked at each other; the question hung in the air for long moments, unanswered.

"I don't know. I can't make any promises."

"Then don't bother." His voice was cold and clipped, betraying nothing of what he felt.

He was dreaming. The Doctor knew he was dreaming; he would never be able to speak to Jack in that tone of voice, so cold, so uncaring. Even if he wanted to make the immortal feel that he didn't care if they weren't together, he knew that he wasn't capable of doing so.

Opening his eyes, he left the last vestiges of the dream disappear, blinking up at the ceiling above his bed. It had felt so real, as though Jack had been standing in that frozen tundra that he'd been in only yesterday, right alongside him.

But Jack hadn't been there; he'd been alone. Still, it was easy to imagine the immortal in such a setting; Jack had been by his side often enough when he'd been in places like that. He hadn't been to that particular one, though.

Why had the dream seemed so real? Why did he still feel that Jack was with him?

The Doctor rolled over onto his side, clutching one of the pillows on the bed to his chest. That question was easy enough to answer, really. He always felt Jack beside him when he was in bed at night. It was the place where the two of them had connected best.

He and Jack had been more than mere physical passion, though. They had connected in so many ways -- emotionally, as well as physically. Or at least the Doctor had thought so. Maybe Jack hadn't felt the same, and that was why it had been so easy for him to leave.

Unless .... maybe it hadn't been easy.

The Doctor almost gasped at the thought. He'd told himself time and time again since Jack had left him that the other man had chosen to walk away easily, that he hadn't cared deeply enough to stay. Maybe that hadn't been the case at all.

It might have been harder than he'd known for Jack to leave. And maybe, just maybe, the immortal had made a choice that was painful for him because he'd honestly thought that the Doctor was better off without having a human in his life.

He had never really considered that possibility before. He'd forced himself to think that Jack had left him for selfish reasons -- but that might not be true. After all, what they'd shared was stronger than anything he himself had ever known.

Jack could have felt that, too -- and been too afraid to hold on to it.

The other man had always admitted that he had problems with commitment -- unless he felt an attraction that was so strong he couldn't keep away. Maybe that was what he had felt when he'd left -- that their attraction was too strong for him to resist without some distance.

But why would he want to keep that distance? Jack wasn't a cold-hearted person; the Doctor had known that from the beginning. If he felt such a strong attraction that it frightened him, then why had he run away from it instead of embracing it?

He sat up, punching the pillow and scowling into the darkness of his bedroom. He wouldn't have the answer to that question until he talked to Jack -- which would mean humbling hmself by going back to Earth and talking to his former lover.

It would mean asking Jack how he really felt. And that could pose a problem.

Jack had always been guarded about his emotions -- even more than the Doctor himself was. He wasn't a man who said "I love you" easily -- and no one knew that better than the Time Lord. He hadn't heard those words from Jack in all the time they'd been together.

What would it feel like to go to Jack now, to ask him how he felt, and expect an honest answer? Would he even get the answer he sought -- or would Jack simply do what he'd done before and turn him aside with words that were meant to soothe but didn't?

The Doctor sat up in bed, his resolve strengthening. If the only way he could find out what he needed to know was by going to Jack, then he'd do it. For once, he could put his damned pride aside and do what he needed to do to satisfy the clamoring of his hearts.

He needed to find out how Jack felt.

There was no way that Jack could turn away from something as true as what they shared.

He'd done it once, but there was always the chance that he'd done so against his better judgment, because he was afraid of what the future might hold. And his own emotions may have been so strong that he hadn't known how to deal with them at the time.

Maybe things had changed now. They were both older and, hopefully, wiser. And they'd been away from each other for a while now. Maybe Jack's attitude had changed. But even if it hadn't, even if he was wrong in his suppositions, the Doctor had to know.

Flinging back the covers, he got out of bed, reaching for his robe as he moved across the room to the door. He had to set a course for Earth; he had to get to the Hub, talk to Jack, and find out if he'd been completely wrong about why his lover had left him.

If he'd been wrong, he was more than willing to admit that. And if Jack wanted to come back to him, for any reason, he was ready and waiting with open arms -- and open hearts. All he wanted was to be back in Jack's arms again.

Something as true as what they shared couldn't be denied.

He had been ready to turn his back on what he had with Jack, just because he thought that the other man had forsaken him. But maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe -- just maybe -- they had both been wrong, and they had a chance to set things right again.

If he could do so, then he wasn't going to hesitate. He wanted -- no, he needed -- to be with Jack again. He had to find some way to convince the other man not to be afraid of the future, or afraid of making a commitment to someone he loved.

What would it take for Jack to admit that he might have been wrong to leave? The Doctor had no idea, but he was determined to hear those words -- or to have Jack say once and for all that he wasn't coming back, that he was happy as he was.

Because he was sure that no matter what Jack might say, he wasn't happy. Maybe being together wasn't the perfect solution. Maybe they would still have problems. But at least they would be together -- where they belonged.

He'd never been convinced of anything in his life as much as he was of that one single fact.

He belonged with Jack. More so than he'd ever belonged anywhere else in his life. And somehow, he was going to make the other man understand that. Something as pure and as true as the love they'd shared didn't just die, or fade away.

He still loved Jack, in spite of everything that had happened between them. And he was sure that Jack still loved him -- he was just unable to say it, and probably afraid to let himself feel it. But that love was there -- and he was going to bring it out, front and center.

He had no idea how. But he would do it, if it was the last thing he ever did.

Entering the control room, he headed for the console, leaning over it and pressing the buttons that he knew would set a course for Earth, for Cardiff and the Hub. It was one place that he knew he could find his way to with no problems, no matter where he was.

What would Jack think of seeing him again? Would he pull away? Would he be able to tell the Doctor what he needed to hear? The Time Lord pushed those worries to the back of his mind, refusing to let them make him hesitate in what he intended to do.

Soon, he would have his answer. The only one he would ask for -- and the only one he needed.

***