Title: Chequered Pasts
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Brendan Block
Fandom: Doctor Who/Secret Smile
Rating: PG-13
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 38, Truth
Author's Note: Continuation of All These Things That I've Done.
Warning: on-going story
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor sighed in contentment, making himself comfortable in Brendan's arms. This was one of the parts of making love that he liked best; being able to snuggle up to his lover after the sex and talk to him was nearly as good as the sex itself.

With Brendan, the sex was always amazing, though. Maybe he shouldn't say that just cuddling and talking was on that level; it could possibly offend the other man. He himself might be offended if anyone had said that about him ....

The Time Lord smiled as the thought went through his mind, placing a hand on Brendan's chest. No, he wouldn't be offended, and he doubted that Brendan would either. He was learning much more about his lover now that Brendan had opened up to him.

He'd already known that Brendan liked cuddling after sex a well, so what they were doing now was certainly nothing new. It was one of the things they had in common.

But he wanted to bring something up, a subject that could possibly make Brendan feel less comfortable. Yet he felt that he needed to say something, needed to tell his lover how he was feeling. He didn't want to hold those words back.

"Brendan ...." The Doctor wasn't quite sure what to say, but the words were bubbling up behind his lips, wanting to be expressed. "I'm glad you told me about your past. The truth, rather than hiding it or sugar-coating the things that you've done."

The other man nodded, his lips curving in a smile as he pulled the Doctor closer against the warmth of his body. "It was past time I told you all of that," he said softly, one hand caressing the strong line of the Time Lord's jaw. "I shouldn't have waited so long."

The Doctor raised his head to look Brendan in the eye. "It was something you had a choice whether to do or not. You didn't have to feel rushed into it, love."

"I didn't," Brendan told him, shaking his head. "I was ready to tell you. It was hard to do, because I was so afraid that you might be repulsed and reject me. But I had to. I knew that I couldn't keep such important parts of my life from you any longer."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to shake his head. "Brendan, those were important parts of your past. They may have something to do with making you the man you are now, but they're not the sum total of who you are."

"The truth is hard to look at sometimes," Brendan sighed, closing his eyes. "I didn't like revisiting who I used to be. But I felt that if you didn't have the complete picture of the whole man before you to make your decision about, then I'd be lying to you in a way."

"Not lying," the Doctor said softly. "Simply omitting. But I'm glad that you told me the unvarnished truth about yourself, love. And see, I'm still here. I always will be."

"I'm still surprised that some of what I told you didn't make you flinch away," Brendan said, his voice low. "Other people have. Even though most of what I've done was in self-preservation, they were still afraid of me and didn't want to be around me."

The Doctor frowned, propping his head up on one hand and gazing into Brendan's face, even though his lover's eyes were still closed. "Then that's their problem, not yours, I'd say. If they can't accept you, and know that you've changed, they're not worthy of being with you."

Brendan's eyes opened slowly, his gaze meeting the Doctor's. "I know you're right, but that kind of rejection still hurts," he said softly, his fingers tightening around the Doctor's. The pain in his dark eyes almost made the Time Lord wince.

No one should have to feel that kind of pain. Particularly a man who had mended his ways and become a better person, and who wanted to put that past behind him.

"I'm proud of you for breaking free of whatever restraints might have been holding you back and telling me the whole truth," he said firmly, leaning forward to brush his lips across one taut nipple. "There shouldn't be any secrets between us, Brendan."

The other man moaned at the feel of the Doctor's mouth on his skin, his breath catching in his throat. "There won't be any more secrets, Doctor. You know all there is to know about me now -- the bad with the good. I don't have anything to hide."

"And you know about me," the Time Lord said softly, raising his hand to stroke Brendan's cheek. "We both have chequered pasts, my love -- but together, we can put them behind us and make a better future, one where we can be together."

"I want to get started on that future right now," Brendan told him, rolling over so that he was lying on top of his lover. When his mouth came down forcefully on the Doctor's, the Time Lord could only think that he was in full agreement with Brendan's words.

***