Title: Walking Through Barbed Wire
Author: martyred-wings
Rating: NC-17
Genre and/or Pairing: slash, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: none.
Warnings: none, except for sex in a public place
Word Count: 3781 words
Summary: Dean sat alone, slightly chilled in the evening air, as he stared blindly looking out over the lake, feet pressed firmly into the ground, butt slightly damp from where it rested upon the rain soaked bench beneath him.
Author's Notes: Continuation of my earlier fic Blood Suger Sex Magik. Title is taken from a Papa Roach song of the same name.


Dean sat alone, slightly chilled in the evening air, as he stared blindly looking out over the lake, feet pressed firmly into the ground, butt slightly damp from where it rested upon the rain soaked bench beneath him. He was getting wet himself, rain falling him in large droplets upon his head, yet he took no notice. The rain didn't bother him; he was too far lost in his own thoughts to take any notice.

He thought back over the evening he'd just had; hell, the day he'd just had. He replayed scenes from the past twelve hours over and over in his mind, feeling alternate sadness and joy pulling at his heart, his soul, made him feel like he was being pulled in seven different directions at once. He thought of how quiet Sam had been when Dean had awoken; unusually so for his younger brother, a fact that Dean couldn't figure out.

Even when asked repeatedly by Dean - a trick that had usually worked in the past - he'd remained stoic, silent, an accusing stare drilling into Dean whenever Sam thought that he wasn't looking. Finally, finally, Sam had broken, snapped, told him what the matter was, and the truth had shocked Dean into stunned silence, too numb to truly think of what to say, what to feel.

He'd blinked, mouth slightly open, eyes growing large in his face as he stared at Sam. His brother held a familiar object out in his hand - a familiar thin, dark blue tie that could only have belonged to Castiel. It was recognizably his, had even smelt like the angel when Dean had snatched it from Sam's hand, deeming his brother unworthy to even touch Castiel's clothes at all. An insane jealousy raged through Dean at the seeming violation, had clutched Castiel's tie close to his body, cradled between trembling, needy hands; and he'd never wanted Castiel by his side as he did right then.

"What's this?" Sam had asked Dean, his tone clipped, tight, angry, face narrowed down to an angry line that was so typical of Sam whenever he was angry, lips pursed in the all too familiar Sammy bitch face of doom.

"It's Castiel's tie. What did ya think it was - noodles?" Dean had asked back, voice snarky, angry, on the defensive even though no angry words had been exchanged as yet.

At Sam's lack of a response, Dean sighed, looked down at the tie held between still trembling fingertips, before he gently stroked the material reverently.

"What are you doing with Cas' tie, anyhow?" Dean asked, quietly, gaze never lifting from the tie, his hands, the floor; anywhere that wasn't Sam and his accusing gaze.

"He left it, on your pillow, right after he left. Remember he was here last night? With you? You should remember seeing as you were getting up close and personal with a freaking angel," Sam spat, turning away in anger, shoulders pulled in as if hurt.

Dean sighed, felt something that was almost shame course through him, before he pulled himself straighter, would not excuse his actions to his brother. He didn't feel he had anything to excuse, at least when it came to Castiel.

"What did you see, Sammy? How much did you see, more to the point," Dean asked, glancing up sharply, pinning Sam with his gaze, but merely meeting the back of his head instead.

"I saw enough. I saw most of it to know that he's doing much more than just looking after you, perching on your goddamned shoulder," Sam had shouted, whirling to face Dean, eyes narrowed, shifting suddenly, disconcertingly to black as anger took hold of him.

"So? You're freaking boning a demon, Sam! Why can't you be happy? For me, your own brother! When the hell have I had something to be happy for, to call my own, who wants to be with me? Least of all an angel, who in all rights should be repelled by me after all that I've done," Dean yelled back, fingers grasping convulsively around Castiel's tie, wanted it to be Sam's neck for an all too brief instant.

Dean felt as though he was walking through barbed wire the longer he talked to his brother, and wanted to leave, to walk away from Sam until they both were calm. He sighed, rubbed fingertips into his eyes, as he realized he couldn't do that, couldn't run away, had to face this head on.

"Do you love him?" Sam questioned, voice quieter now, almost pained, face narrowed down to that uncomfortable line, that made him look younger than his years.

"What sort of a question is that, Sammy?" Dean asked, as he turned quickly away, shoulders hunched and drawn in, protective.

The elder Winchester knew that his answer could all too be easily seen in his eyes, from the feeling that travelled through his heart, his soul, his very body. Sam would see it even if no one else could recognize the signs.

"It's a damn good question, is what it is, and I'm not leaving you until you give me an answer," Sam said, voice tight with barely repressed anger as he reached out with one long arm, one hand clutching Dean's shoulder, forcibly turning Dean to face him. "Now tell me, Dean, do you love him?"

"So what if I do?" Dean asked, almost childish in his response, uncomfortable with voicing his feelings to his brother when he felt that the words "I love you!" should be heard by Castiel and Castiel alone.

"That's not an answer Dean. I'm gonna ask you again, do you love him?" his brother persisted, eyes narrowed, jaw clenched, teeth grinding slightly.

"Yes. Yes, I love him. Happy now? Got your freak on by making me squirm, just like you did by watching me - " and Dean abruptly turned away again, angry, felt betrayed by Sam watching him when he was involved in most intimate of acts with his angel. "How could you, Sammy? You stood and watched while we - "

He couldn't find the words to finish his own sentence, shuddered at the thought of his brother witnessing something that should have remained private between Castiel and himself.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I truly, truly am. If I could take anything back that's happened over the past couple hours, I would. I really would," Sam had said, sounding sincere, the most sincere he'd sounded in a long time.

Dean no longer felt the weight of his brother's accusatory glance resting upon him, and he looked up at his brother, saw that Sam's gaze was staring, resting blindly upon the far wall, lips pressed together the way they always did when Sam was unhappy. Dean snorted and looked away again, wondered why Sam was unhappy.

"Does he make you happy?" Sam asked, quietly, genuine curiosity in his voice now, rather than anger.

"I just said I loved Cas - of course I'm happy, and of course he makes me happy," Dean said, gaze turned swiftly to Sam's, who at least had the decency to look sheepish all of a sudden.

"Of course. Stupid question," Sam murmured, sadly.

Dean didn't say anything, his silence enough of a reprisal against his brother to make Sam wince, grimace in almost pain.

"We good?" Sam asked, gaze flickering to Dean's hopefully.

"Dunno. You gonna cuss me out for being gay with an angel or what? The way you‘ve been acting it seems as if you don‘t even approve, don‘t even want me to be happy - finally, truly happy," Dean asked, gaze level, still angry, stubborn, unforgiving.

"No, I‘m not gonna cuss you out. If you‘re happy, if you love him, then I guess I‘m cool," Sam said, eyes never dropping from Dean's, sincere in their directness, until Dean was forced to look away.

"So what's been the problem, Sammy?" Dean asked, looking less angry now than before.

"You could have told me before," Sam said, petulantly, made Dean snort through his nose at the obstinate brother. "We're brothers. Couldn't you have just found some way of telling me this before, that you and Cas were a - "

Sam's voice trailed off, as though unable to finish his own sentence, as though despite his body language, his words, he still couldn't accept it deep down.

"Say it, Sammy. Say that me and Cas are a couple," Dean said, anger still simmering beneath his words, and when Sam didn't, couldn't, Dean snorted and looked away.

There was the briefest of silences between them; a silence eventually broken by Dean himself.

"Yeah, exactly, that's what I thought. Huh, try explaining away the fact you're sleeping with an angel to your brother. A very male angel at that," Dean commented, dryly, with the first laugh since the argument had started. "You're gonna have to deal with it, Sam. You've got no choice - Cas and I - we're very much together. I don't care what you think, so deal."

"It‘s too soon. I never thought that you and Cas could be - intimate. A couple, call it what you will. You're Dean Winchester - you chase every piece of tail under the sun, and then you shack up with a - " Sam broke off his own statement, looked away, shrugged helplessly as though he still didn't know what to do.

Dean stared at him for a moment, knew that Sam was having a bad time dealing with the "Cas is a guy" part of the equation - that he hadn't expected Dean to do that.

"I don't know what to say to you, Sam. You're my brother; you should be happy I've found someone," Dean pointed out, face grim, unforgiving, angry. "And that someone is Cas. There's nothing wrong with that."

Sam glanced at him, slowly nodded, as though even that one small gesture pained him.

"Give me time and I‘ll adjust," Sam said, with a small nod. "That's all I need is time. I'm happy for you, I really am. I'm going out, okay? Need a walk, to clear my head, think a bit, you know."

"Yeah, me too. Need the car?" Dean offered, tone terse, unforgiving.

"No. You take it," Sam said, before he left, walked out into the unforgiving night as though he'd never been there at all but for the trace of anger still left behind.

Dean sighed, held his head in his hands as his memories petered out and he was left alone on a cold, wet bench, soaked through to the skin from the rain. He sighed again, as reality settled through him, made him feel cold, alone, hopeless.

"He'll come back, Dean. He always does," came a familiar gruff voice from beside him, as Castiel slowly sat down beside him.

Dean started a little, surprised momentarily by the sudden appearance of the angel. He hadn't heard him arrive, hadn't heard the familiar flap and rattle of dry angel wings cutting through the air. He stared at Castiel, whose eyes remained trained on the lake before them, full lips pressed down in a disapproving grimace. Dean thought that the grimace was directed more at Sam than Dean himself.

"I guess," Dean said in response to Castiel's statements.

He didn't bother questioning how Castiel had known what had happened between his brother and himself; he was all too used to the angel knowing all and getting inside his head. Even though that had proved annoying at first, it proved a kind of comfort for the hunter now.

"I'm sorry I caused trouble for you, Dean," Castiel said, voice low, eyes downcast, wouldn't look at Dean even when the hunter moved closer, leant in, tried to catch Castiel‘s attention.

"Cas. Cas, look at me," Dean said, reaching out to take the angel's chin in his hand in a tender gesture he'd never used on anyone else, turned Castiel's face to his.

Castiel's mouth was set in a sad pout, eyes uncomfortable, sad, still not quite meeting Dean's direct gaze.

"Cas, listen to me. I love you and that's all that matters, okay? Screw Sam. If he can't deal with it, then he'll have to find a way, won't he? He can't take this away from me, from us. I want this too much, want you too much for him to ruin this. For me, for you, for both of us. Okay?" Dean asked, heat that wasn't quite anger warming his voice, made it more commanding, more truthful than Castiel had ever heard it.

Castiel's eyes brightened, and the barest flicker of a smile crossed his face, a slight flush staining his cheeks as his gaze met Dean's fully.

"Thank you, Dean. Now say that again," he said, smile growing a little stronger at Dean's confused expression.

"Say what?" Dean asked, eyes shifting a little in his confusion.

"I love you," Castiel said, smile turning into a grin at Dean's understanding look. "You've never said that so freely before, only during - "

Castiel's smile turned more seductive at that, more sensuous, and Dean smiled, ran his fingers gently down Castiel's jaw line, smiled again when Castiel leant into his hand, eyes closed, smile touching his lips gently, as he almost purred with satisfaction deep in his throat.

"I love you, Castiel," Dean said, voice gruff, using the angel's full name to lend his words more weight.

He didn't give Castiel a chance to respond, as he leant in to press an eager, loving kiss to the angel's full lips, received a kiss in return. Dean leant in further, hand cupping the back if the angel's head, pressed Castiel back against the wet bench. Castiel didn't protest, just let Dean settle between the crook of his legs, wrapped steadying arms about the hunter's waist, as the kiss deepened, mouths open, tongues fucking deep into each other's mouths, wet, messy, filled with satisfied moans and groans the longer it continued.

Dean ground his hips against Castiel's, felt an erection meet his in Castiel's pants, broke the kiss to moan in lust. He ground his hips against the angel's again, delighted in hearing the whimper ease past angelic lips, the shudder of need that worked through Castiel's body. Dean felt Castiel's hands tremble against his back, felt his fingers dig into the flesh and Dean groaned, felt his erection grow uncomfortably hard.

He reached down between them, lifted himself slightly from Castiel's body with one hand and both knees, unzipped Castiel's zipper on his dark pants, fingers brushing purposefully over the angel's erection. Castiel moaned, bucked his hips against Dean's palm, rubbed his cock purposefully over Dean's fingers, pre-cum staining the front of his briefs in a dark patch.

Dean eased Castiel's pants down, easing himself from the bench to fully pull them off, after first removing Castiel's shoes. The angel watched him, lips swollen with heavy kisses, red with need, seemed riper than usual as his eyes remained on Dean. He watched as Dean removed his jeans, his boxers, erection standing proud from his body, as he knelt back onto the bench once more.

The hunter settled between Castiel's legs once more, angled them slightly more apart, grunted in satisfaction when Castiel wrapped them securely around his body. He leant down to steal another long, slow kiss from Castiel's willing lips, felt their silken surface respond, work against his own, heard Castiel make noises of satisfaction the longer the kiss went on. Dean held his hand out, let the rainwater fall on his outstretched fingers, waited until they were slick and shining, before he lifted himself slightly from Castiel's body once more.

Castiel broke the kiss, cried out in sudden pleasure, when he felt Dean start to press a finger inside his hole, muscles clenched momentarily around Dean at the intrusion, before slowly relaxing around him by degrees. Dean murmured his approval, eased his finger in further, withdrew, started easing the muscles wider for his entrance. He added another finger, felt Castiel's hips strain and buck against his own, cries falling wantonly from the angel's open mouth as Dean stroked his prostate with gentle, questing fingers.

Castiel was making meaningless sounds beneath him, small animalistic grunts that said more than words could have done, and Dean withdrew his fingers from Castiel hastily. He needed to fill the angel, needed to feel the angel wrapped around him, to pleasure him, to feel pleasured, to love him and be loved in return, senses heightened during the most intimate of acts and soon. He spat on his hand, rubbed the saliva over his throbbing cock, spat again, smoothed the fresh handful over the sensitive skin of his head, before he reached down between their bodies once more.

He eased himself inside Castiel's hole, felt the angel's initial resistance give way to something more meaningful, sheathed himself fully inside Castiel, with a cry of need, a declaration of love for Castiel apparent in his voice. He thrust harder, further into Castiel, heard the angel moan brokenly in need beneath him, before he withdrew almost to the head, thrust in again, enjoying the feel of Castiel's tight warmth wrapped around his straining member. He whimpered, eyes closed, felt Castiel's hands run over his body, settling on his ass and pressing down hard.

"Please, Dean, please," Castiel said, almost begged when Dean didn't immediately move.

Dean didn't answer, just groaned loudly, before thrusting inside Castiel roughly, couldn't stop himself once he'd started, cries falling unbidden from needy lips as the two lovers rutted hard upon the bench. Their bodies writhed sensuously against each other, seemed to fit perfectly together, as their hips rocked hard and fast against each other, Dean‘s cock pressing against Castiel‘s prostate with every sweep and pass, every time that he fucked hard inside Castiel.

Castiel's hand left Dean's bare ass, wrapped around his own cock and started pumping his fingers over engorged flesh in time with Dean's urgent thrusts. Cries broke the air, growing stronger, growing louder, fell from lips of hunter, lips of angel the closer they came to release.

Dean felt the tightening in Castiel's muscles, the tension in his body beneath his, the shaking of angelic limbs mere moments before Castiel came, released himself in thick strands over his own hand, over his abdomen, over Dean himself. Castiel yelled out Dean's name, hips bucking frantically against Dean's, fucking himself hard onto Dean's cock, before his actions pulled Dean up and under into his own release. Dean cried out for Castiel as he filled his angel with his come, body shuddering against Castiel's as he rode out his orgasm to the last.

Gradually, finally, their bodies stilled, stopped their lover's dance, left them panting, staring at each other, breath mingling as they came slowly down from feelings of combined bliss. Dean withdrew slowly, carefully, but continued covering Castiel's body with his own, too content to stay where he was. Castiel reached up with his clean hand, threaded his fingers through Dean's hair, pulled the hunter down into a needy kiss, pushed his tongue against Dean's lips until the hunter opened up for him. Their tongues fucked and danced desperately, moans mingling as easily as their breath, hands gently caressing wherever they could reach.

The rain poured steadily down upon them both, growing heavier with each passing moment, went unnoticed by the kissing lovers. Dean broke the kiss, leant his forehead against Castiel's shoulder, as the angel gently stroked his fingers through Dean's short hair, fingertips gently tickling against the nape of the hunter's neck. He leant in, pressed warm, soft lips to Dean's cheek in a tender kiss, that spoke louder of his love than the passionate kiss they'd shared mere moments before.

"I love you," he whispered into Dean's ear, lips brushing tenderly against his earlobe in a gentle, tickling butterfly kiss.

He cradled Dean in his arms, didn't say anything while Dean silently wept, knew that the tears were for his brother, were for Castiel himself and his love for Dean. He let Dean wipe his tears away from wet cheeks, let Dean regain his feet, watched while the hunter pulled his boxer shorts, his jeans securely back around his hips. The angel stood, mirrored Dean's gestures, turned his face to the sky, let the rain wash over his face, flatten his hair still further upon his head.

"We'd best go back to the motel room, Dean," he said, morosely.

"But Sam - "Dean said, his words cut off by Castiel's sudden sharp gesture with one hand.

"Sam will have to deal. He'll have to get used to seeing us together. He'll come around, you'll see. He's happy for you, even though he doesn't show it, yet," he told Dean softly. "He's glad you've found someone to be with, deep down."

Castiel waved his hand again when Dean looked as though he was about to speak again.

"He'll tell you that himself in his own good time. Trust me on this, I know he thinks that now," he said, with a determined nod and an almost amused light glimmering in his rich blue eyes.

"It really sucks to be an angel, doesn't it?" Dean said, holding back a chuckle of amusement.

Castiel tilted his head to the side, as though confused, not understanding what was meant by Dean's words.

"To know everything," Dean said, with his first true laugh of the evening.

Castiel surprisingly laughed at that, a small chuckle falling from smiling lips as he regarded his hunter.

"Ah, I wouldn't say we know everything, Dean. We're just more aware of things than humans are," he said, with a small wink at Dean.

"Oh, shut up, Cas," Dean said, with an affectionate smile, before he pulled the angel into a gentle kiss.

"Ah, that reminds me, you still have my tie," Castiel said, after the kiss had ended, pointing to Dean's pocket, an innocent expression lighting his features.

Dean chuckled, took the tie from his pocket, draped it round Castiel's neck, before he took Castiel's hand in his. He gently traced the angel's palm with his fingertips, caressed the soft skin there gently, before he glanced up at Castiel, who was watching him closely.

"How much time do we have before Sam gets back?" he asked the angel slyly.

"Enough. I think I can convince Sam he really needs a hamburger," Castiel said, with another long, slow wink at Dean.

Dean grinned, before he said - "Good. Let's go - well, not home, but at least back to the motel room."

Castiel chuckled again, before he followed Dean readily, fingers still wrapped around Dean's hand in a gentle caress ....




Next story in series - New Divide.